What Type of Leader Are You?

Too often, we are placed in a situation that requires us to modify our reaction to a person. For example:

• An associate on our staff who challenges our authority.

• A client who is very late on their payment.

• A peer who throws you under the bus in front of your boss.

We try to be professional, calm, cool, and collected — but sometimes we need to step out of our management comfort zone to react appropriately. Unfortunately, we don’t want to come off like a jerk. I’m here to help you.

There is a range of management personalities — I want you to stay away from the extremes. At one extreme of the range is a ‘Pushover’. We all know someone like that and unfortunately, no one wants to be one. On the other extreme of the range is a ‘Jerk’. We’ve all worked for one in our lives.

In the center of the range is the ‘Professional’. Someone who is direct and pleasant to work with. They’re fair and non-judgmental. We all try to maintain our proactive and reactive behavior in the center.

Then an errant associate, client, or peer tries to take advantage of your good nature. Many people let it happen because they “don’t want to come off like a Jerk”. 

Then, don’t go there. There is an extreme amount of range in-between ‘Professional’ and ‘Jerk.’ In fact, many good managers will move a bit down on the range and let their ‘Stern’ behavior out and take the associate, client, or peer to task. That’s a normal business process — show them that you mean business.

Too often, we’re also afraid of being labeled a ‘Pushover’, so we guard ourselves and treat everyone with a ‘Stern’ manner. On the other end of the range is ‘Nice’ — being overly pleasant, accommodating, and motivating without veering off into ‘Pushover’-Land.

Bottom line, try to maintain your management style in the ‘Professional’ center with infrequent trips to ‘Nice’ and ‘Stern’ when the errant situation appears. I’ve seen the best leaders hover in ‘Professional’ and radiate out on the range when needed.

If you worry about coming off as a ‘Jerk’ to people, stop worrying. A Jerk never worries about that — they’re too busy being a Jerk.

You Can Be The Best You Can Be.

I came up with a simple and powerful tool the other day. I was standing in my office in front of a large Post-It notepad sheet with a red sharpie in my hand (red delivers intention!) — and the ideas just flowed. What did I come up with to help you be the best? To be the best you can be, there are four stages to success — Find Me, Want Me, Sell Them, Close Them. This works for the corporate executive, to the aspiring entrepreneur, all the way to the person in transition. It's simple, it's direct, and it works. Let me explain each one:

STAGE ONE: FIND ME

We go through our lives partially hidden to key influential people and once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. We either sit at our desk toiling away, make cold calls to people who don't want our services, or hide at home and send out electronic résumés to closed positions. And we wonder why we aren't moving up, getting the best clients, or landing that dream job. It's frustrating.

The best businesses are easy to find - a big sign, the best location — the ability to stand out and be a billboard so millions of people can see you:

• Executive: When was the last time you introduced yourself to the leaders in you organization? Do they know you?

• Business Owner: New signage, new website, new branding — getting out and touching lots of people?

• Transitional: Keywords on LinkedIn, writing articles, hitting industry meetings, hitting the library?

STAGE TWO: WANT ME

Okay — now we are being seen by the powers that be. What do we do now? We want them to WANT US. How do we do that?

You need to develop your own personal brand that will engage your audience and get them to see your ability, your product, and your talents:

• Executive: What can you do to really help your company? If you've done it, do you brag about it? Be bold.

• Business Owner: What one thing do you do that can change people's lives or fill a hole in their life? Spotlight your brand.

• Transitional: Polish your image and brand - hit the gym, change your fashions, and show them what you can do for them. No begging.

STAGE THREE: SELL THEM

They've seen us and they want us. It's time to sell them and show them we are the best choice (this is where most fail).

You need to develop an iron-clad delivery that will make them better understand what you can do for them and that you're the only person on this earth who can do it. Find the BURNING issue that keeps them awake at night and show them how you will solve it.

• Executive: Think big - what are the real issues your company/industry are facing right now? Figure out some powerful solutions.

• Business Owner: Who are your biggest/best customers? What aren't you doing for them that will change their life?

• Transitional: It's not what you did - it's what you can do for them RIGHT NOW. Pinpoint what that is and deliver it.

STAGE FOUR: CLOSE THEM

Everyone forgets this one. They market, produce the itch, and make the sale — then they forget to close or leave them hanging.

Once you've sold them — get them to sign on the dotted line. Don't feel that it's their job to jump into the boat after you've hooked them — take them off your line and place them nicely in your cooler.

• Executive: Once they are interested in you — try to offer yourself to help them with a major initiative or pitch. You have the time.

• Business Owner: Once they are sold — make the closing process simple, easy, transparent, and fluid. It should be pleasurable for the customer.

• Transitional: Ask for the job. Get them to commit. Show them that you can leave for a better opportunity. Sign on the dotted line.

If you stick to this method and produce key deliverables for each stage — I promise you — you will be THE BEST YOU CAN BE.

3 Critical Skills of Effective Leaders.

Great leaders translate vision into decisive action — a skill that's especially vital in tough times. But what are those skills? Do you have a blind spot? Should you be doing more? First off — great leaders do three things — no more, no less:

1. They motivate their people.
2. They deliver information when required.
3. They help their people with obstacles.

That's it. As a leader, if you find yourself doing anything else, you're doing too much. Now let's look at each one:

They motivate their people.

The most successful leaders are those with the best people skills, especially during the most difficult circumstances. Poor communication and interpersonal relationships routinely thwart leaders who are otherwise technically competent. In order to succeed, leaders must be fully engaged with the individuals who make up their organization. This means an array of capabilities like coaching, mentoring and how to give constructive feedback which reinforces the behavior and motivation of your peak performers. The best tool to learn how to motivate is Dale Carnegie's: How to Win Friends and Influence People.

They deliver information when required.

What does this really mean? Incredibly efficient two-way communication. And the cruel joke is that most leaders had the chops to make their way up the ladder and succeed — now the skills that got them there (getting things done) have no place in leadership. You now have to communicate to your team to get things done. This is where most C- and VP level executives fail - you need to lead with greater impact by applying emotional intelligence to manage your team. The best tool to effectively communicate is Daniel Goleman's: Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.

They help their people with obstacles.

Here's the mistake all leaders make. When their people come to them with a problem — they spend time helping them brainstorm, choose and sometimes execute a solution. I've seen this happen time and time again. Great leaders ask their people to come to them when they have a problem, but they also require their people to come with a solution too. 80-90% of the time, that solution is usually the best one and the team member is further empowered to make those tough decisions. On the off chance (that 10-20%) that your people might be wrong, you're there to help them investigate other options. For optimal delegation, seek out Michael Abrashoff's: It’s Your Ship: Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy.

At the end of the day, you need to build a leadership style that creates trust, sets a clear vision and guides your entire team toward greater performance and profit. 

Is Your Competition Waving As They Pass You?

On with one of my oldest clients this morning and came up with a spot-on analogy about a lot of organizational management today: Your company is a ship on the open sea and your mission is to navigate and guide it into port.

Your captain (management) wants you to take it in slow and steady, so they hit their schedule perfectly. They don't want to expend any more fuel, any more people, or take a chance by accelerating the ship to get to the port faster. It's the way they've done things for years and they are not changing.

Unfortunately, you're guiding the ship and you're seeing all of the competing ships (and some speedboats) passing you by in the night because they are going faster and using innovative techniques and strategies to beat you.

But the captain doesn't see this, because they're sleeping. But you do — and you tell them everyday that the ship needs to go faster and to develop innovative techniques and strategies like your competition.

The captain disagrees. "Slow and steady will get us into port on-time and on-schedule" (and the captain will be rewarded by management with a healthy bonus if this happens).

But you know the competing ships (and speedboats) will hit port way before you do, unload their cargo, sell their wares quickly, and be off before you realize it.

In addition, when they pass, they are making bigger waves that affect your ship's progress. But the captain maintains a slow and steady approach.

They are NOT LISTENING.

And you're seeing the future of your industry happen RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES.

And you're not part of it. You're a spectator. And the competition is EATING YOUR LUNCH.

Sometimes, the captain doesn't notice until it's too late — and then — and only then — they want you to accelerate. But it's too little, too late. And when you tell them, they get mad.

WHAT DO YOU DO? My ADVICE:

Don't open up the throttle — but you should subtly 'click' it forward just enough where management doesn't notice (at first), but where you begin to catch up, pace, and sometimes pass the competition. Add a resource, accelerate the deadline, increase the scope a bit, start a small skunkworks in the basement — but do something.

Also — EVANGELIZE your perspective and strategy all the time. You might be ridiculed at first — but after the competition beats you — you can stand there with a huge 'I told you so' face. They might listen to you next time.

You might get into trouble if management ultimately uncovers what you're doing — but no one was ever fired for doing the right thing and taking a small chance to advance the company forward.

And if you are reprimanded or fired, it makes a great story to tell when interviewing with the competition!

P.S. This happens ALL THE TIME. Think of Kodak, Blockbuster, and Nokia to name a few. What others can you think of?

A Memorial Day Management Test.

This isn't scientific. Let me state that right from the start. But . . . This test has worked for me during my 20 years of managing large teams in corporate settings.

First, enjoy your Memorial Day weekend. Relax. Have fun. Spend it with people you love.

When you get to work on Tuesday, get there early and observe your team members as they arrive. See how they act the first 30 minutes at work.

Are they grumpy? Are they not happy to be at work? Do they miss their long weekend? Are they complaining? Or . . .

Are they energized? Ready to hit the ground running with a smile? Did they have fun on the weekend, but now they are ready to make some money?

Short holidays are great opportunities to better understand your team's appreciation of their job.

If they come in grumpy —

• They might not like their job.
• They might not like what they do.
• They might be hitting obstacles.
• They might be checking out.

If they come in energized —

• They probably like what they do.
• They probably enjoy your role as their manager.
• They are probably crushing it with their responsibilities.
• They will probably stick around.

Again — this isn't scientific. But I've found if you gracefully approach the grumpy team members individually and find out what is missing in their work life, you might turn them around and energize them.

If people don't realize work is a part of life and you have to make the best of it, it's high time to find out if they've bought into this concept. Because if they're not consistently bringing their A-game to the office, you're going to receive sub-standard work and deal with stinky personalities.

And life's too short to deal with stinky personalities.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

Are You Feeling Guilty At Work?

I'm feeling guilty today. The funny thing is . . . I shouldn't. Every Tuesday, like clockwork, I attend my networking/sales team meeting with approximately 50 people.

It's called BNI (Business Networking International), a worldwide organization where businesspeople meet to learn about their services and deliver hot referrals (CLIENTS) each week. I find it powerful for my business (it delivers 40-45% of my clients each year) and wouldn't miss it for the world. In fact, if you have a business or a product to sell, BNI is THE place to go to increase your bottom line.

What happened?

Today, I'm missing my weekly meeting. I had to double-book a client over my meeting and could not schedule it for any other time this week. They HAD to meet at this time. And I did ALL the right things a BNI member should do:

I notified the leadership team of my absence.

I replace my open spot for the week with a great substitute who will do my commercial.

I let the visitor host team know of my sub so they could list them on our weekly roster.

And I did it all on-time, prior to our meeting.

I still feel guilty. I feel that I'm letting my colleagues down even though I've taken all the steps to ensure my absence is covered this week. Why do I feel guilty?

I feel like I'm letting my BNI colleagues down.

I feel that I'm missing out on something good.

That regular burst of enthusiasm I receive from attending will not be there this week.

Honestly, I shouldn't feel guilty. NOT ONE BIT. Why? Guilt is all about the PAST. And guess what? There's nothing I can do about it. NOTHING. It's in the past.

I've made a decision, I've prepared my absence — I've taken all the steps to ensure I shouldn't feel guilt about missing my meeting. So it's time to confront my guilt and realize I have to live in the present and move on from this 'fake' feeling. Why?

It's holding me back — I'm focusing on something that really doesn't matter.

I'm expending mental and physical energy towards a belief that is not true.

I'm not focusing on the present or planning for the future. This is where I can make serious progress towards my goals.

So the next time you feel GUILTY, remember it's all in the past and there's nothing you can really do about it. Take that guilt and repurpose its energy into the present and future. You will find yourself working faster, better, and with more enthusiasm.

Guilt is a mechanism for us to remember past mistakes so we don't repeat them — don't let it paralyze you.

I'D LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR GUILT AT WORK. LET ME KNOW BELOW.

How Successful Leaders Stay Successful.

It's simple. This prescription is easy to understand and execute — but for some reason, for most people, it's really difficult and complex. So here it is — 

Launch. Declare Victory. Move On. 

Work is made up of a bunch of tasks, activities, projects, initiatives, and deliverables. We work and manage them day in and day out. Unfortunately, we sometimes forget that many of these things we do have a critical half-life. We need to complete them and get them out the door ASAP.

But we don't do that. We keep working on them, we can make them better. We can push them to do a little bit more. In addition, we are sometimes afraid of releasing our deliverables out into the world for fear of failure. So we procrastinate.

So here's my prescription for success (taught to me years ago by a valued boss):

Launch.

Get it out. Set a deadline and stick to it. Put plans in place to make sure nothing can stand in the way of launching, releasing, or completing your deliverable. It could be as big as a new product or as small as a simple presentation. Your job is to get it out and DONE.

Declare Victory.

This one is critical. Build into your plan the ability to put a positive spin on everything you accomplish. Why? Because the typical human being tends to do the exact opposite — they criticize, condemn, and complain about what they deliver. How it's not ready, how you could've done better, how you missed the delivery date by a few seconds.

We all do it. So to be successful, do the exact opposite. Declare victory — let everyone know it's out, it's a success, build up enthusiasm, get people excited. Let them know about all the great things it will do and how it will change their lives.

Move On.

This is the most important part — once you declare victory, move on to something else. Don't rest on your laurels — your last deliverable will start to smell after awhile. So many people launch something or complete a huge project and for the next 3-6 months, bask in the glory and slowly move from delivery to on-going maintenance.

Once you declare victory, move on to something new ASAP. Too many people fall into the trap of sticking around too long at the party and they suddenly become the 'guest that wouldn't leave'. So move on as soon as you can (if you have a hard time doing this, elect someone to push you out the door, hand you your car keys, and drive home).

Why is this a prescription for success? Because it clearly positions you to deliver quickly, market your success, and move on to another great project. Too many times we let nostalgia, inertia, and pure laziness to keep us back when we need to move forward.

How To Run A Meeting People Like To Attend.

Impossible! Meetings suck! How can I run a meeting people actually like to attend? Most people don't realize how bad meetings reflect on their leadership, management, and reputation. A bad meeting can hurt you for weeks, months, or even years (sometimes FOREVER). With a few simple steps, you can virtually ensure a meeting which will please all attendees.

Here are some tips:

1. Make it short.

I always try to halve my meeting. If I need an hour, can I do it in 30 minutes? Two hours . . . 60 minutes? The shorter the meeting, the faster it will go (duh!) which is a boon for all the attendees. Stick to the topic at hand, don't try to do too much, keep the blabbers down to a minimum and you can get out of there in record time.

2. Start with the end in mind.

Have a goal. Most meetings stink because they slowly meander through issues, tasks, results, or presentations. Figure out EXACTLY what needs to happen, what are the deliverables, and ensure each attendee is prepared to make decisions quickly. Have an agenda and stick to it. Everyone will thank you profusely.

3. Prepare.

I can't tell you how many meetings I've attended where the organizer had absolutely no idea why we were there. Or they came late, had no agenda, let the meeting go WAY off-course, etc. Sit down and architect the meeting — it should take you no longer than five minutes. Layout how you will start, what you're going to present, what might happen, and what you want to walk away with.

4. Be visual, auditory, and kinesthetic.

People absorb information in different ways — if you are speaking another language, they won't get it. So make sure you hit their visual (eyes), auditory (ears), and kinesthetic (touch - hug them!). My modus operandi: Use slides (visual), present by speaking (auditory), and have a backup sheet of paper (kinesthetic).

5. Arrive early.

I hate when the organizer is late to their own meeting. Be there ahead of time to ensure the room is organized, there are enough chairs, the LCD projector and your laptop are ready to roll, the temp is perfect, your agendas are in front of each chair, etc. If there is a problem or emergency, you have time to take care of it. I usually book important meeting rooms 15-30 minutes prior to the meeting to ensure no one is there and I have time to set up.

6. Greet attendees.

Welcome them and get them prepared for the meeting. Most organizers are rushing around doing everything in #5 — stand by the door and welcome people as they arrive — it adds a certain touch of professionalism. Trust me here. Make sure you select a conference room which is tailored to your requirements, this way, you have everything you need.

7. Keep it flowing.

You are in the command chair. Stick to the agenda, keep your eye on the time and shut down anyone who tries to make it longer, take over the meeting, or goes way off topic. Ask to take their inquiries off-line and get back on-point.

8. Try to only attempt a few deliverables.

Too many organizers try to stick ten pounds of sugar in a five pound bag. Be realistic about what you can accomplish and focus only on the most important facts, information, and decisions. The more you try to add, you increase the chances of going off-course.

9. End early.

This is my gift to the attendees . . . TIME. Try to end 5-10 minutes early — don't try to 'fill-up' the entire hour. If the meeting is winding down, close it quickly and get people on their way. You will get a favored reputation that you run efficient and on-point meetings. People will like to attend them.

10. Stay after the meeting.

Stick around to thank people for attending, answer any questions people might have, and follow up on any errant requests from the attendees. The more face time you give at the end, the faster the meeting will go.

If you do these simple steps in each of your meetings, you will develop a solid reputation as an accomplished presenter. People will enjoy coming to your meetings and your reputation as a professional will soar.

To Grow Your Business, Leave Your Door Open Whenever Possible.

If you've ever been to college, this is THE small piece of advice that my brother gave me when I went off to school: "If you want to fit in and make a LOT of friends at college, leave your door open whenever possible." Why? Because:

• People will wander in.
• You are opening your world to them.
• You are showing them a piece of your universe.
• You are showing them that you are open to their presence (and not closed like a shut door would).

I took my brother's advice and kept my door open whenever I was in my room. It might have impacted my grades a bit, but I was probably friends with 80-90% of the students on campus (it was a small, liberal arts school).

Now let's apply this to your business — how can you "leave your door open whenever possible"? Here are some ideas:

• Be open to your current clients/customers. Make it easy for them to contact and talk to you.
• Ask for feedback often. The most successful businesses are the ones that frequently inquire and act upon customer feedback.
• If you can, meet with your clients face-to-face. I coach primarily over the phone, but I've been breaking that box and meeting with clients in-person. Guess what? They love it!
• Be flexible with your business model. When things are working and you're hitting a wall, leave the door open to new ideas and ways to do things.
• When out in the world, hide the sunglasses, iPod, newspaper. Put on a smile and interact with others. You will find yourself meeting a lot of new and interesting people.
• Ensure that any client/customer touchpoint encourages connection and conversation. Like your website, your business card, your email signature, your brochure. They should all have a direct line to you.
• Use social media (like Twitter, Linked In, Facebook, etc.) to make yourself more available to instantaneous communication with your clients and colleagues.
• Play your music loud to attract others. What I really mean here is to actively behave in a way to encourage others to find you and walk in your location. Have open houses often, invite groups to your location, mix it up with other people!
• Teach your colleagues and team to leave their doors open too. You'll find that many of them have a 'closed door' mentality.

Bottom line, by just leaving your 'door' open, you are opening yourself up to many new exciting and lucrative possibilities that would normally walk right on by.

P.S. If you think of any other "leave your door open whenever possible." ideas, let me know!

How To Better Control Your Time.

Time is the one thing you can never get back. So you need to be careful with it, don't waste it, don't hurry through it, and use it effectively. You need to CONTROL your time.

How do you do that? It's easy and it's hard — here are some tips:

Clear Your Desk.

I know . . . it's hard. But once it's done, it is so easy to focus without any distractions to instantly pull you away from the task at hand. Also there is the visual aspect of a clean desk. You FEEL better about yourself and your surroundings. It's easier to find things and important papers don't get lost.

So here's my strategy — Pile, View, Attack/File/Toss/LCB:

1. Pile - Take everything off your desk and make a single pile of paper.
2. View - Pick up and look at each piece of paper. You must make four piles:
3. Attack - work on it immediately - something you can complete within a short amount of time.
4. File - File it away for future access.
5. Toss - Throw it away. I know it's hard - but most of your pile can go this route.
6. LCB: Last Chance Bin - get a box and place it under your desk. If you are unsure of tossing something, put it into this bin. If you need it later, it's there. If not (after 3-6 months), toss it out. This bin works wonders.

Plan Your Day.

This is the hardest and surprisingly the easiest way to get a better handle on your time. Why?

If you go somewhere or if you're on a trip, you have a destination and a route to get there. That's called a plan.

Why is it when you get to work you don't architect the same thinking for your activities, meetings, and tasks? What needs to be done — what is it's priority — and when will you complete it?

Randy Pausch developed a very simple, yet effective template to help anyone plan their day. It's made up of four quadrants:

• Due Soon and Not Due Soon
• Important and Not Important

When you look at your "Attack" pile of work for the day, you usually work through it based on time in and time out. But importance flies out the window — most people aren't working on the most important and critical tasks. This tool helps them do it.

Which ones to work on first? Upper left! Which ones to work on last? Lower right! Here's a PDF template you can use.

Work On One Thing At A Time.

This is where we all fall down. We think we can 'multi-task' our work and guess what? We never get anything done or even worse, we do things in a haphazard fashion.

Take your Attack pile and your Activity List and make your way down each item. Once it's complete, check it off. Set aside time to work on your attack pile — don't answer the phone — don't let anyone bother you — don't let anything take your focus away from the task at hand until you are DONE. You can always return that phone call 15-30 minutes later or go see the person who wanted to see you.

Also — turn your email reminders OFF. You can get back to checking email when you're DONE.

At first it will be difficult. But when you start to see a clean desk, a planned out day, and REAL progress on your work. These basic behaviors will begin to kick in. Try it!

How To Solve ANY Problem.

Okay — the title might be a little misleading. If you just robbed a bank and are evading the authorities, this post will probably not work for you (sorry). But for most business and career problems — this will do just fine. Let me start by explaining what I call "The Whirlwind".

What's a "Whirlwind"? The offficial definition is: Whirlwind - Noun 1 : a small rotating windstorm of limited extent 2 : a confused rush : a whirlwind of meetings 3 : a violent or destructive force

Whenever we are faced with a powerful problem in our lives, we probably encounter The Whirlwind. It is a violent force that spins out of control in our heads. It mixes up our current thought processes, past failures, and future fears. In addition, it easily combines straightforward facts with a bevy of crazy emotions. To make it worse, there is usually a time, importance, or personnel component that just adds to the anxiety and severity.

And you wonder why you can't solve this problem.

What we normally do is keep this Whirlwind bottled up in our heads. We might even talk to a number of people about it — but most of the time, it just gets worse and you rarely ever solve the problem.

So what do you do? Get The Whirlwind Out Of Your Head!

You need a process to eliminate ALL emotions from your problem solving and develop factual options which eventually lead to a solution. Follow these rules to the letter (no deviation!):

1. Take out a sheet of paper or stand at a whiteboard.
2. Have a pencil or whiteboard marker ready to go.
3. At the top of the page (or board), write what the problem is. Be clear, succinct, and ensure that it covers what the problem is. As an example, you can write: "Interpersonal Issues With Tom: Duties, Meetings, Staff".
4. Define The Problem. Here's the catch: it can only be no more than 3 bullet points. Example: a. Tom cannot keep to his promised deadlines (over-promise, under-deliver). b. Tom has a hard time staying focused at his meetings and loses control of the group. c. Tom's staff is unfocused and are now coming to me for direction.
5. Develop possible solutions to each of the bullet points. Example: a. Tom cannot keep to his promised deadlines (over-promise, under-deliver). - Talk to Tom about this situation - refer to facts and instances only. Ask him how he would solve the problem. - Begin to manage Tom more closely. Schedule frequent, regular, but short meetings to cover progress. - Uncover what is the 'real' cause of Tom's inability to meet deadlines. - Follow up after one month - track progress.
6. Sometimes you might need to do a PROS & CONS list. Especially when balancing a difficult decision.

Bottom line — get the Whirlwind out of your head and get it on paper. You'll find that it will be so much easier to solve and you'll feel better in the long run.

The Number One Way People Get Derailed.

It happened to you again. It's happened to me. It's happened to all of us at one time or another. We blame other people, circumstances, luck, your parents, your family, and ultimately the finger always points back at YOU.

Only you can change your situation. But we sometimes are afraid of what might happen. We start making up elaborate stories about what 'will' happen. We get caught up with a lack of inspiration, confidence, focus, energy, and my favorite persistence. How don't you get derailed? 

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

I get a lot of business cues from watching Mad Men, a tv series based in an ad agency in the 1960's. During the last episode, the main character, Don Draper is frustrated at the firm's new win — Jaguar and Dunlop Tires. He states, " These are piddly-little companies — I want Chevy and Firestone. Forget Lucky Strike, I want Dow Chemical." His partner instantly retorts back, "This is the old Don Draper, I've missed him." And subsequently makes the Dow Chemical meeting happen.

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

Right now — what's the one thing you would do to make your career, your job, your business BETTER?

Who would you call? What would you do? What can you affect?

Here's the secret: Just Do It. Make It Happen.

Failure: How You Deceive Yourself Everyday.

Wonder why you don't get certain things accomplished? Why you hit the same obstacles every time? It comes down to a simple phrase one of my clients so eloquently related to me the other day:

"I know the little games I play with myself."

You see, we all play games in our head. I know of no one who has a personality which is so buttoned up that they perform at optimum efficiency. We think we know some people like that — but the real truth is — they play games too.

The secret is knowing what the games are and why we do it. It's the what and the why that will deliver the insight you need to move past these games.

What games am I speaking of?

Do you dodge people at work? Do you procrastinate on important things? Do you show up late to appointments and meetings? Do you let important and timely decisions lay fallow until the 'right' moment? Again — we ALL do it. So let's pick an easy one:

"I am always late on paying my bills."

WHAT: "I don't open bills until the last minute." That's the reason or the game we play.

WHY: We are afraid of having reality hit us square in the face. We know we spent a lot this month — now the bill is here and is waiting to be paid. But it might not be as bad as you think. But you'll never know until you open it.

And when you do — it immediately forces you to make a decision — where am I going to get the money to pay this? Or if I don't have the money — I have to get it. I either have to work harder or borrow from savings. AND — here's the best part — it forces us to alter our behavior to ensure it doesn't happen again.

And that's the hard part. But I want you to now place yourself in the spot of someone who opens their bills immediately, schedules or pays them immediately, and moves on. How does that sound? How does that feel? Pretty good.

So why aren't you doing it?

Are You A Habitual Pushover? Guess What -You Probably Are.

Own a business? Do you have money collection issues? Manage a team in corporate? Are you missing deadlines?

You probably are a PUSHOVER. Let me explain.

Our natural instinct is to try to please, to perform or to get along with others. Sometimes, when we encounter someone with a stronger personality, we tend to bend our own rules to accomodate their needs.

I frequently mention with my clients the practice of looking at behaviors on a spectrum. For example, if you have a spouse/partner, one of you is probably a hoarder and one of you is probably a tosser. One throws away everything and the other saves everything. Hopefully, neither of you are at the extreme ends of the spectrum, but you are definitely not at the same point.

It's the same with being a pushover. At one end of the spectrum is a tree that bends with the slightest wind and at the other, a hard-ass SCROOGE who demands the last penny owed to them. Some of you might be at one end (the Scrooge) who demands all payment up front or pushes their team mercilessly to beat every deadline.

And you're probably not at the other end of the spectrum never billing a client or missing all of your deadlines.

But you're somewhere in the middle. And I guess, you're closer to the pushover than the Scrooge. Here's how to think about it.

The middle of the spectrum is THE PROFESSIONAL. That's where you want to be. Someone who moderates their decisions and actions based on the situation. Most of the time, you're the professional, handling projects and billing your clients.

Sometimes though, you will have to move slowly to one end or the other of the spectrum. With certain situations, you might give your team an extra day to complete their project successfully or allow a good client to pay you one week later. Other times, you might have to come down hard on your team to hit that deadline or bill your client in full prior to any more work can be accomplished.

You're not the hard-assed Scrooge or the Pushover — you're just being a Professional.

So next time the situation changes for you or your team, realize you can move up and down the spectrum to get what you really want.

3 Books You Should Be Reading Right NOW.

I'm frequently asked by organizations in my business consulting area what are the best books their employees should read and refer to. Honestly, there are a lot of good books out there. And unfortunately, there are millions of stinkers out there too.

Today, everyone thinks they can write a book. But most of them suck (hey, it's my opinion).

Here are the three which have withstood the test of time and to this day influence millions of executives and employees throughout the world:

How to Win Friends & Influence People

By Dale Carnegie.

This is the bible — buy it and live it. This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated.

The Magic of Thinking Big

By David Schwartz.

Long regarded as one of the foremost experts on motivation, Schwartz will help you manage better, earn more money, and — most important of all — find greater happiness and peace of mind. He proves that you don’t need to have an innate talent to attain great success — but you do need to learn and understand the habit of thinking and behaving in ways that will get you there.

Linchpin — Are You Indispensable?

By Seth Godin

Linchpin is a most unusual, well-organized, concise book about what it takes to become indispensable in the workplace – whether you work for someone else (at any level) or are self-employed. It’s about how business has rapidly changed and how treating employees like factory workers (or doing your job like one) doesn’t work any longer. We must make choices and take action to “chart our own paths” and add value that others do not.

We cannot wait for a boss or a job description to tell us what to do, rather we must just take the initiative ourselves. Only then can we become indispensable “linchpins,” rather than replaceable “cogs.” ”You don’t become indispensable merely because you are different. But the only way to become indispensable is to be different. That’s because if you’re the same, so are plenty of other people.

I recommend these three books DAILY to my clients.

Go out and buy them for your iPad or even better, pick up the audiobook and devour it.

#001: Bulletproof Your Career [Podcast]

Welcome to my new podcast, Psycho Career & Career Psycho. Like my blog, it focuses on the trials and tribulations we all face in the business world. My goal is to help you live with more passion, work with greater focus, and lead with extraordinary influence.

My co-host is Margo Meeker, one of the best psychotherapists and life coaches out there. I've known Margo for years and have collaborated on many successful workshops with her throughout the U.S..

Why Psycho Career & Career Psycho? First, we wanted to catch people's attention and imagination with the title. We didn't want to do "Biz Talk" or "On The Road" or "Marketplace with Mabel" — we wanted a title that caught your imagination and honestly conveyed what's happening out there in the world right now. It's crazy! There are psychos out there! :)

Also, we wanted to cover what Margo is — a psychotherapist/life coach — and me — a business and executive career coach. So it fits!

We hope to make this a fairly regular podcast (hopefully weekly!). But for now, we are testing the waters and seeing where the rapids take us.

Our first podcast topic is 'Bulletproof Your Career' - how to keep your job and succeed in these tumultuous times. Margo and I cover the four areas critical for every person out there to keep their wits about them while making their way up the ladder of success.

We would LOVE your feedback - tell us what you think!

So without further ado . . . here's our podcast (see top of post)!

The Ten Commandments Of Leadership.

Leadership is not easy. It's tough. It's unpredictable. It takes focus, determination, and most of all opportunity. Leadership cannot be planned - it happens in the moment. So I've put together the top ten commandments of leadership to help you anticipate a leadership moment:

1. Think before you speak.

As leaders, we are always trying to help and solve the problem. Or when it's time to take a team member out to the woodshed. We tend to speak and act first, and take prisoners later. Stop for a second and THINK. What's the BEST way to go about this?

Instead of solving the problem, how about letting the person suggest some of their own solutions? Instead of getting angry at a team member, ask them what they think they did wrong. Sometimes people are harder on themselves — and in the end, these actions become learning experiences that stick forever.

2. Push your people. Get them to do scary things.

I've always had my people push themselves — take on at least one scary project which takes them WAYYY out of their comfort zone. This allows them to grow in their position, deliver the best they can do, and most of all NOT GET BORED.

If you keep them performing at an optimal level on one of their projects, these behaviors will spread to the other activities they execute. If they fail or fall short, you're there to catch them and then help them at that point on.

3. What's the right thing to do? Evangelize ethics in everything you do.

People look up to you and see what you do. In everything you do. If you gossip, they will gossip. If you cheat a client, they will too. As a leader, you become the moral mirror image for all of your people.

In addition, try to encourage the right behavior in your people — if they come to a philosophical crossroads, ask them what would be the RIGHT thing to do.

4. Show them the way. Be visionary.

We get too caught up in the politics and tactics of our job. Good leaders consistently keep their eye on the long term benefits and goals. Teach your people to goal-set, plan, monitor, and assess for every project and activity they do.

Give them the long picture — where you want to see the company go, the division, the department and ultimately, them. Give it life, make it visionary, get them involved.

5. Don't take on any monkeys. You will never lead your team.

First, read this great HBR report (it's from 1974 and it's one of their most read reports). It's the standard to help you lead and manage your team — don't let them drop monkeys on your desk — help them solve their own problems.

In fact, this commandment should be emblazoned on the wall behind your desk: "Don't come to me with a problem unless you have one or more solutions.".

6. Fight the good fight. Take a stand.

Never be wishy-washy on anything important. Your people will see that immediately. Analyze the pros and cons, take the end result into account, and make a decision. If you're wrong, admit it immediately and change course. But we get so caught up in the decision process — being afraid of making the wrong decision, we make the situation worse.

If someone or something is going after your department or one of your people and they are clearly wrong, defend them to the death. There might be some people who might say you're committing political suicide, but I feel if you and your team are in the right, it will ultimately surface in your favor.

7. Be strategic, monitor tactical.

Too many leaders try to micromanage. Don't make this mistake. Focus on the big picture and how all of the pieces fit together. Don't worry about the day to day, monitor it with your people's input, but keep them focused on the goalposts.

8. Communicate clearly.

Many leaders mistake intelligence with obfuscation. They use big words, grand designs, and ornate constructs to communicate their goals. BAD IDEA. If your people have to decipher what you are looking for, you exponentially increase the opportunity for them to misunderstand your message and do the wrong thing.

Be clear, concise, and straightforward in ALL of your communications — you'll find things move that much faster and people get your drift immediately.

9. Be confident, not cocky.

The difference between cockiness and confidence:

• Cockiness - "I know that. We've been doing that for years."
• Confidence - "Wow, I didn't know that. Tell me more."

Which person do you like to work with? Most everyone likes to work with a confident person — someone who is comfortable in their own shoes, someone who is not afraid to not know something and is inquisitive to find out more. One of the goals of leadership is to get your people to absorb and display your leadership attributes in their day-to-day work. Who do you want to work with — a confident ally or a cocky jerk?

10. Understand the 'meta' in every conversation.

This is a big one — what's the BIG picture? When you are speaking with someone, giving a presentation, holding a status meeting — give people the 5,000 foot picture and then zoom up to the 50,000 level.

Tell them what really is happening, what is the REAL reason the company is doing something. Most of the time, your people don't have a clue about what is going on and it's your job to give them the big picture.

4 Tips To Say "NO" and Make It Stick.

Telling someone 'No' is one of the hardest actions (even for an accomplished leader). Here are some strategies to help you make it easier:

1. Is it right for the company?

This was always my first hurdle with any major (or minor) decision with my colleagues or clients. Many suggestions or requests usually have a focus — do they ultimately benefit your company or just the person requesting the decision?  You'll find if you look through that lens, the balance is skewed more towards personal advancement and less towards the company as a whole. One way to send them away is to have them skew the balance much more in favor to the company.

2. Is it right at this time?

You're not saying 'Never', you're just saying 'Not now'. As a leader, things come at you fast and furious.Many people, many decisions — some requests are good, some are not so good. Your people are energized and built to deliver instantaneous decisions to problems they see in their universe. Their solutions might take on additional cost, resources, and people. Sometimes you just have to say 'Not now'. By putting it off for future consideration, it allows the problem to sometimes fix itself or go away and allows you to teach an important lesson to your colleague — not everything needs fixing immediately.

3. Acknowledge their request.

Sometimes, people just want acknoledgement. They want to feel listened to and special. So give them the stage. You can ask questions and have them walk you through their thinking — understand what is involved, and the who, where, when, and how. As they broaden your understanding of the strategy, it makes it easier for you to either accept it (because it's a good idea) or pick it apart (because it's a bad one).

4. Don't take on too much responsibility.

You do not want another monkey on your back (check out this great HBR article I recommend to all of my clients). Many times, when colleagues are asking you to say 'Yes', it usually entails some added responsibility on your end. Some deliverable, some oversight, some action which adds to your workload. When this happens, try to turn it around and never let the monkey get on your back in the first place. Most of the time, when you don't accept any responsibility for the decision, the idea goes away of it's own accord.

Or sometimes you just have to come out and say NO.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Do you have a hard time saying NO? Let’s talk. I’ve coached thousands of executives who need to change the dynamic — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.

The One Mistake We All Make.

"In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you."— Warren Buffett

If you don't know Warren, he's an American industrialist and philanthropist widely regarded as one of the most successful investors in the world. Often called the "Oracle of Omaha", he is the primary shareholder, chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway. He is consistently ranked among the world's wealthiest people (third wealthiest person in the world as of 2011).

So he knows what he is talking about.

It's interesting Warren places integrity first. In today's work- and marketplace, the focus is centered on intelligence and energy. How much do you know? What experience do you have? What have you done? Are you willing to spend 10-12 hours a day (and more) knocking it out of the park for me?

But we always forget about integrity. A definition of integrity — "Adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty."

Let's be honest — how many times do you experience a concerted effort by management to adhere to moral and ethical principles? Where everyone displays a powerful moral character? Where people don't lie and endeavor to tell the truth in their business dealings?

I'm not saying the marketplace or workplace is totally devoid of integrity. But it does take a back seat to profits, targets, stock price and power. Not even a back seat . . . it's in the trunk with the spare tire.

In the wake of all the turmoil with Wall Street, Washington, and many boardrooms, (and even on Twitter lately) we all need to begin to make harder choices based on integrity. Who we invest in, who we purchase from, who we do business with.

And sometimes we need to look within for our anchor to integrity — because sometimes we fall short. We need to also pay attention to our own actions and decisions and how they impact others.

Whatever we do, we will continue to face ethical challenges. It's how we react to them that counts.

What do you do to stay ethically anchored?

How To Play To Your Team's Strengths.

Take a moment and reflect about the each person on your team and the skills and strengths they exhibit. Where do they excel? What do they like doing?

How can you as their manager, provide additional opportunities to excel and do the things they love to do?

I'd like you to take a piece of paper and draw three equally spaced vertical lines (or you can use the attached template - click HERE).

In the first column, write each person's name with their title.

In the second column, list their strengths — what do they do well?

In the third column, brainstorm opportunities how to leverage their strengths.

That's it. If you do this on a regular basis (every 3-6 months), you'll find your team more approachable about taking on more work, higher visibility projects, and having fun at the same time.

Why? Because you are taking advantage of their strengths and interests.

What is your #1 strength or interest? How do you leverage it every day?