Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

I've just finished one of the most powerful books I've read this year. It's by a wonderful woman named Bronnie Ware, and it focuses in on the actual voiced regrets of people she encountered when they were dying. Powerful stuff - go and pick up the book!

Here's a small excerpt:

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Go After The Puck.

As Wayne Gretzky said a number of years ago: 
"I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been."

— Where do you think your puck is going to be in the next five years?

— Where is your career or business going? Is it thriving or flat?

— Where is your industry going? Growing or shrinking?

These are VERY scary questions to ask on a Monday morning. Let’s be honest — when is the right time to ask?

We tend to hide in our comfort zone — we cocoon in our offices and cubicles or keep selling the same products and services year after year. 

Suddenly, someone comes along and upsets the entire apple cart. They not only turn it over, they burn it down. We’ve seen it happen to many industries lately — but we keep sticking our head in the sand hoping to get just ONE MORE YEAR.

I want you to be proactive instead of reactive. Here are three actions for success:

1. Who is your most connected, influential or successful friend? Set up a lunch with them. You need to start surrounding yourself with success — they know where the puck is going. Do this every week.

2. Where is your industry, company, clients, etc. are going to be in the next 2-3 years? What’s happening? What’s changing? Who are the change makers? Learn who’s doing what and where you need to go.

3. Start preparing yourself. You need to get into the mindset that you’ll be moving from company to company every few years. If you own a business, you need to re-evaluate your clients, your products, and your marketplace yearly. Don’t get complacent — that’s a recipe for disaster today.

Go hit that puck. Today.

To Succeed, You Have To Hustle.

Are You A Pilot Or Passenger In Your Career?

If you hit a crisis or something goes wrong, it's someone else's fault. We are the victim. 

That isn't the case. Stop being the victim. Start taking control of your life and career. Turn off your career ‘cruise control’ and direct your life.

CHALLENGE #1:
I want you to do one thing today that scares you.

Pick up that phone right now and make that call you’ve been procrastinating on. Check out that company you've always dreamed to work for. Arrive at work extra-early and get more done in one day than you've ever done before. Push yourself farther and scare yourself in the process. You'll thank me.

If you're doing it the same way other people are doing it, you're doing it wrong. That’s usually the ‘safe’ or 'old’ way of doing it.

Be brave and do something completely different. Be creative and take a risk — reach out to people and try something new. Don't care about what other people think — that will just hold you back. Ask for forgiveness, not permission.

CHALLENGE #2:
Take a moment and think of one simple, crazy change you can make.

Design a new business card, reach out to that senior VP or business owner who is doing cool stuff that amazes you. Ask them to lunch. Test a new way of running your project — put it on an express train and beat that deadline.

I hate the word inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work. Don't wait for that bolt of lightning to hit your brain. Do it NOW.

The best ideas come from doing and working the process. It comes out of actually accomplishing the work. It’s time to get your hands really dirty.

CHALLENGE #3:
Stop waiting for that 'inspirational' idea to jump out and land on a blank sheet of paper.

If it hasn’t happen yet, it’s never going to happen. Dig into work this week and see where you can streamline a process, delegate a lame task, or discard an outmoded activity. Get rid of them.

Work smarter, not harder. You will suddenly see new ways of doing things better, stronger, faster (like the Six-Million Dollar Man). Stop meandering along doing the same old thing the same old way.

Hustle this week. You'll thank me.

The Importance Of Playing Tennis With Better Tennis Players.

"It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you'll drift in that direction." - Warren Buffett

Have you ever played tennis?

• Play with someone worse than you, you won’t push yourself at all and play at a much lower level than you usually do. You’ll coast.

• Play with an equal player, I promise your game will be boring as hell. Back and forth, you get one point, they get one point. BORING.

• Play with a better player and you'll be forced to play a better game. You’ll have to move faster, anticipate their moves, and push yourself harder than you ever have before.

Think of all the highly successful business people you know, whom do they hang around with? Who do they have lunch with? Why do you think they do that?

Because they play a better game. The easiest way for an adult to learn is to mimic other adults actions and behaviors. It could be a very apparent behavior or a very subtle action. But these cues are picked up (just like in tennis) and are absorbed.

So today, you need to play a better game. Hang with the big boys and girls. Watch what they do, how they react, how they take action. Set up that lunch, make that appointment, hire that new rising star — it’s time you play your ‘A’ game.

You might surprise yourself and serve that ace.

Hate Your Job? NOW Is The Time To Start Looking.

Most people make the mistake of riding out November and December to begin looking for a new job in January. Why should you start now?

1. Everyone will be looking for a job in January. The job-search population explodes and you'll be competing with 2x/3x more candidates.

2. You need time to prepare. You need to lock down your search strategy/direction, targets, resume, LinkedIn profile, interview skills, and negotiation strategy before you jump out into the marketplace. Recruiters, Hiring Managers, and HR Personnel will eat you for lunch if you're weak in any of these areas.

3. People are still hiring now (contrary to popular belief). In fact, two of my clients got jobs this week. With the exception of the week between Christmas and New Year's, companies are still trying to run out the clock and spend their budget dollars on building their team. Especially successful, growing companies.

Finally, they will try to 'wing it' on their own and usually fail, step back, and soldier on at their current job (that they hate). When people hire a true career coach to help them, their coach delivers a solid process/strategy to break through the noise, helps them make time for finding the right new position while keeping their current role, and keep them sane during this frustrating process.

The Two Powerful Forces Of Achievement.

I attended a great talk the other night at Yale - the presenter brought up two major forces nature throws at us regularly - Resilience & Propulsion. It immediately hit me that these are the two forces that make businesses great.

1. Resilience - the ability to encounter insurmountable problems, assess the damage, and recover quickly.

2. Propulsion - the ability to generate organizational momentum to quickly move your business forward into new areas.

What was the last problem/obstacle that you encountered? How did you deal with it? How did it affect you/your business?

How do you fire all boosters for your business? What key actions can move it forward into new areas? What do you have to do?

Time to bounce back and rocket your business and career forward.

New Job? Five Mistakes We All Make.

When you start a new job, everything is just hunky-dunky. You're in a new office, new boss, new responsibilities, new friends, and hopefully, more money and increased responsibility. Many people expect their boss and company culture will bring them along (like orientation at college) and help them integrate well into the inner workings of their new organization. Not so fast.

Sometimes it actually happens — most of the time, it doesn't. And who's to blame if something goes awry? YOU.

So I've listed five major mistakes that new employees make when they first start a new job.

1. They expect everyone to be nice and 'on their side'.

There are 3 types of people you meet on the job:

1. Helpers - people who will help you learn the ropes and work with you.

2. Walking Dead - lifeless people who go about their day; get in the way with complaints/regulations.

3. Threats - people who actively regard you as a threat; major impediment; try to trip you up.

Stick with the Helpers, disregard the Walking Dead, and keep your eye on the Threats.

2. Your boss will love you forever.

You need to prove yourself to your boss before the initial work honeymoon ends. They usually give you a few weeks to get up to speed and then they want to start seeing results.

Look at it as a good-will savings account. When you're hired, you have a small positive balance. But any mistake, deficiency, or screw-up deducts from your account. Your job is to blast out of the starting gate, make some quick wins, and fill up your new savings account with good-will currency.

3. You can work as hard as you did at your last job.

You have to kick it up a notch at your new job. Come in early, stay late, and attack any project/task with increased vigor.

You are on stage right now and many people are silently grading you. Good first impressions are hard to develop, but bad ones are easy to deliver. Constantly task yourself to deliver more, add quality, and help others.

4. Communication will work perfectly.

When people move to a new job, communication structures are usually completely different from their past gigs. And this is where new hires slip up . . . badly. You need to:

• Establish clear communication structures with your boss and staff. Schedule regular status meetings with clear agendas.

• Listen the first few days/weeks at meetings. Get a good feel for how things are done before jumping in with a 'great idea'.

5. Your expectations of success will align with your boss' expectations perfectly.

No, they won't. And this is why so many people are let go in the first 90 days on the job. You need to be crystal clear with your boss about your responsibilities and deliverables. So do this:

• Develop a 30/60/90 day action plan with your boss. Work with them the first few days to clearly delineate your role, responsibilities, activities, deliverables, and most importantly -- deadlines.

• Meet each week and track your progress with your action plan. Check off your completed tasks and ask for help with those problem children activities.

• At the end of 90 days, you and your boss should be ecstatic about your progress since you've been delivering what they asked for. If they aren't, they're bat-shit crazy and it's time to move on.

This is a great tool to keep you and your boss on the same page and ensure there are no surprises that might derail your career.

The 3 Pillars Of Success.

Just got back from a workshop in NYC for a large group of executives (145+ attendees). They enjoyed my talk (rating me 4.83 out of a possible 5.0 on my evaluation form), but they REALLY enjoyed the Q&A portion at the end. I thought I'd share the best question and my answer:

"How do we keep moving forward and not get caught up in the day-to-day malaise of emails and meetings?"

I said, "This might sound super-simple and you might know it, but there's a great way to look at each day and measure how you moved the big ball forward. I call it the three business 'pillars of success'."

ACTION

First, you have to take action — any action, to move FORWARD. Most people are scared to make a decision, pick a direction, or commit to a plan. They get caught in analysis-paralysis and get stuck over analyzing the problem/challenge and not moving forward. Sometimes they are afraid of making the wrong decision or fearful of commitment to a strategy that rubs against the corporate grain.

Solution: Just do it. Pull the trigger. Any action (even the wrong one) is better than no action. Especially if you are ready to go but are ambivalent that you might have forgotten something. Pick up the saw and start sawing.

If you're afraid of screwing up - don't worry. Making a decision and taking action usually isn't a death sentence. You can always stop, correct, and re-engage. Remember — this is the hardest part — pull the trigger and start the process.

PERFORMANCE

Once you take action, you need to push forward and see it through. Don't take a half-step and put your toe in the water — dive in. Push yourself to keep the momentum going. One single action just won't do it — you need to follow it up with consistent and powerful performance to ensure success.

Solution: Make a plan. Segment out all of your activities, tasks, and steps ahead of time. Once you see the big picture and all the discrete elements, it will make whatever you do that much easier and less stressful (and scary).

There will be a bump somewhere in the middle (usually a person) — something or someone to set you off your game. If it happens, expect it, and move around it ASAP to ensure that it doesn't disrupt all of your momentum.

RESULTS

Most people forget about this one. You have to deliver results to produce a successful project, product, or initiative. These are tangible deliverables that not only encourage you to move forward, but allay the fears of management that you're doing the right thing.

Solution: Don't go for the big bang at the end. Plan for and deliver small incremental results that will not only motivate you and your team, but also get the attention of management. Show them that slow and steady positive results win the day — this stops you from over-promising and under-delivering.

That's it. If you consistently look at everything you do with an Action/Performance/Results lens, you'll find you get a lot more important stuff done faster. Leave the emails and meetings to some other poor performer.

Six Secrets My Clients Know For 2018.

The new year is a time of inspiration and new beginnings. Here are some proven methods to make 2018 your best year ever — these are the tenets I share with my clients to help them knock it out of the park every month.

1. Decide to be successful. That’s the first step — most people are afraid of success, not failure. They feel that their lives will change drastically and become unmanageable. They want to stay in control, live the same small life, and worry about money all the time. If you face and conquer your fear of success (and failure) daily, you will see your career and life grow exponentially.

2. Leave the pity party. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and guilty about what you haven't done. It's a new year — take advantage of the freshness of January and work with a clean slate. Too often, we tend to live in a self-imposed pity party where we replay all of our faults, our mistakes, and the bad situations on a loop in our heads. It's time to stop and move forward — don't be that guest who never leaves the party.

3. Make it your duty. This is YOUR life and it's YOUR responsibility to make things better every day. It's YOUR duty to find ways to stay on track and focus on what will make you, your career, and your business better in 2018. Stop blaming or waiting for other people to do it for you. Stop being a baby — no excuses, make it happen.

4. Hang around better tennis players. To get better, you need to hang around people who play the game better than you do. Why? First, they will inspire you to push yourself to new heights — to run faster, jump higher, and perform at a higher level. In addition, better players will teach you better, faster and smarter ways to do things — to streamline your actions for better performance.

5. Work hard. Work smart. I can't say this enough. No one (and I repeat, no one) ever got to where they are by goofing off. By taking their time, moving at a snail's pace, or relaxing during work hours. Every successful person has put in blood, sweat, and tears to get where they are — they work and play hard to get to the levels you only dream about. If you're not putting in at least 40 hours each week, you're never going to get where you want to be.

6. Develop cash-flow opportunities & additional income channels. How can you make more money for the same amount of work? How can you capitalize on your performance and add additional value to what you deliver? Step back and think about what you do every day and see how you can increase it, package it, and disseminate it to get more bang for your buck. What other services or products can you deliver?

I know these six tenets will help you make 2018 your best year ever! If you need an accountability partner, try a complimentary session with me.

You Can Be The Best You Can Be.

I came up with a simple and powerful tool the other day. I was standing in my office in front of a large Post-It notepad sheet with a red sharpie in my hand (red delivers intention!) — and the ideas just flowed. What did I come up with to help you be the best? To be the best you can be, there are four stages to success — Find Me, Want Me, Sell Them, Close Them. This works for the corporate executive, to the aspiring entrepreneur, all the way to the person in transition. It's simple, it's direct, and it works. Let me explain each one:

STAGE ONE: FIND ME

We go through our lives partially hidden to key influential people and once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. We either sit at our desk toiling away, make cold calls to people who don't want our services, or hide at home and send out electronic résumés to closed positions. And we wonder why we aren't moving up, getting the best clients, or landing that dream job. It's frustrating.

The best businesses are easy to find - a big sign, the best location — the ability to stand out and be a billboard so millions of people can see you:

• Executive: When was the last time you introduced yourself to the leaders in you organization? Do they know you?

• Business Owner: New signage, new website, new branding — getting out and touching lots of people?

• Transitional: Keywords on LinkedIn, writing articles, hitting industry meetings, hitting the library?

STAGE TWO: WANT ME

Okay — now we are being seen by the powers that be. What do we do now? We want them to WANT US. How do we do that?

You need to develop your own personal brand that will engage your audience and get them to see your ability, your product, and your talents:

• Executive: What can you do to really help your company? If you've done it, do you brag about it? Be bold.

• Business Owner: What one thing do you do that can change people's lives or fill a hole in their life? Spotlight your brand.

• Transitional: Polish your image and brand - hit the gym, change your fashions, and show them what you can do for them. No begging.

STAGE THREE: SELL THEM

They've seen us and they want us. It's time to sell them and show them we are the best choice (this is where most fail).

You need to develop an iron-clad delivery that will make them better understand what you can do for them and that you're the only person on this earth who can do it. Find the BURNING issue that keeps them awake at night and show them how you will solve it.

• Executive: Think big - what are the real issues your company/industry are facing right now? Figure out some powerful solutions.

• Business Owner: Who are your biggest/best customers? What aren't you doing for them that will change their life?

• Transitional: It's not what you did - it's what you can do for them RIGHT NOW. Pinpoint what that is and deliver it.

STAGE FOUR: CLOSE THEM

Everyone forgets this one. They market, produce the itch, and make the sale — then they forget to close or leave them hanging.

Once you've sold them — get them to sign on the dotted line. Don't feel that it's their job to jump into the boat after you've hooked them — take them off your line and place them nicely in your cooler.

• Executive: Once they are interested in you — try to offer yourself to help them with a major initiative or pitch. You have the time.

• Business Owner: Once they are sold — make the closing process simple, easy, transparent, and fluid. It should be pleasurable for the customer.

• Transitional: Ask for the job. Get them to commit. Show them that you can leave for a better opportunity. Sign on the dotted line.

If you stick to this method and produce key deliverables for each stage — I promise you — you will be THE BEST YOU CAN BE.

The 5 Behaviors Of Successful People.

When I start with clients who are in-transition, we meet at my office in Stamford and I cover the Five Behaviors Of Successful People. I do this to help them focus, get out of a mental 'rut', and move forward with enthusiasm, passion, and determination.

In retrospect, I actually cover these five areas with all of my clients, but I do it differently — I'm a bit more subtle:

TRACK & PLAN You need to know where you've been, where you are, and where you're going at ALL TIMES. This means tracking your time (schedule) minute by minute and accounting for all of your time and energy. You should be sticking to a plan, taking discrete steps each day, and taking it to its natural conclusion.

FAIL: If you're just winging your calendar or making large swaths of time blocks, you're not tracking effectively. If you don't have a plan (try setting up 90-day plans — they're manageable), you will fail.

BE BOLD One of the original taglines for my coaching practice was "Be Bold In Life". I still love it because it embodies the swashbuckler spirit that we all need to be successful in business. You need to take chances, uncover opportunities, and most of all, you need to be BOLD in your thinking.

FAIL: Just keep saying "I can't do that!". Or constantly ask for permission to do things instead of just doing them. Or not doing them because you know they're going to fail.

THINK & ACT This is the cornerstone of my coaching philosophy — figure out what needs to be done and DO IT. Don't second guess yourself and get caught up in analysis-paralysis. Look at your options, make a decision, and take action. Worst case, if your wrong, step back, reassess, and take action.

FAIL: Procrastinate, contemplate forever and try to come up with every permutation. Push for perfection.

CHALLENGE Life is a series of challenges you must overcome to keep moving and stay happy. Work, relationships, kids, etc. are all made up of small and large challenges that we must deal with. Here's the secret — embrace each challenge with enthusiasm and vigor or you will go through life with a glass half-empty existence.

FAIL: Moan, complain, and run away from your problems. The faster you come up with a plan and deal with your challenge, the faster you will get on with your life.

OPEN UP You can spend your life closed down and not interacting with anyone or you can open your heart to the world and make a lot of new friends. Try to make a new friend every day — an acquaintance, a connection — take an avid interest in your fellow man. Most of all — SMILE!!!

FAIL: Stay home, watch TV, cocoon, close your office door, keep your head down and let your voicemail/email take over all of your connections. Oh yes — forget to smile.

What To Do When Life Hits You Square In The Face.

Ever have a REALLY bad day? One that really SUCKS? Did you lose your biggest client in an instant? Or did you get dressed down by your boss for doing something stupid (and you thought it was brilliant)?

We all have those days. As Rocky Balboa said, "But it ain't about how hard you get hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward."

Unfortunately, when you do get hit, you might find yourself wallowing in self pity. You might even be in one of Kübler-Ross' 5 Stages of Grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance).

Here's how I deal with it — I call it my "3 Stages of Success":

Stage 1 - Frustration

Not angry, just frustrated. Something (or someone) kicks you HARD out of control and you find yourself wheeling emotionally.

You question your worth. You start backtracking all of your actions. Add in a healthy scoop of emotions and your are downright FRUSTRATED.

Stage 2 - Reality Check

Stop the emotions for a second and let's do a quick reality check. Let's look at your situation logically — what REALLY happened? Is it the end of the world? Can you quickly recover?

Let's level-set our thinking and try to understand what happened and what we can do.

Stage 3 - Competitive Spirit

Now that you've thought logically about your situation and have come up with alternative strategies to move forward, let's access your competitive spirit.

You might say, "ARE YOU KIDDING RICH? I just got over being frustrated!" Let me be clear — you need to access your competitive spirit to move forward, take action, and never let this happen to you again. Some ideas:

What can you do right NOW? New plan? New strategy? New direction? Who can you call right NOW? Call some clients that left your service - take them to lunch. Call a scary prospect. Where can you go right NOW? Don't hunker down - get out - meet people, network, research, plan.

This is a natural process how humans adapt and EVOLVE. You hit a wall (or a wall hits you), you get frustrated, you do a reality check, and then get up and start running again.

As Rocky says, " Keep Moving Forward".

What do you do when life hits you square in the face?

P.S. Is life hitting you often? Let's talk. I've worked with many clients who've been hit hard — and we developed a successful strategy to grow. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me (203.500.2421) — I offer a complimentary session each week to people just like you. Check me out — it might make 2017 a rousing success.

I Need To Have A Serious Conversation With You . . .

It's Friday — time to talk about the big things in life. I've been coaching for 15+ years and I frequently recognize certain situations and problems clients run into time and time again. I thought I would document some today . . .

1. Stay in the present.

If you live in the future, you will get anxious — if you live in the past, you will get depressed. Generally, you have eight sleep hours, eight work hours, and eight personal hours — focus on what's in front of you. It's the only thing that you have the power to change or to shape or to use. It's your canvas. It's your material. So use it well.

2. Your happiness is not something to pursue — it is a by-product of doing the right thing. 

So many people try to 'attain' happiness — and then get frustrated when it slips through their fingers. Try to focus on whatever the right thing is - and happiness will follow. Angry at yourself that you got nothing done during the day? Maybe it's because you slept in late, you spent your workday surfing fun sites, and had an overly-long lunch.

On the surface, each of these behaviors should make you 'happy' — but I've found that when I'm feeling most depressed, its usually based on actions I either did or (more importantly) did not do. Don't hunt for happiness — it will come when you do the right things.

3. You've been sold a fake idea of what success really is.

You're being played — everyday, everywhere. On TV, the street, when talking with friends or family - it seems like everyone confuses the concept of rewards with success itself.

When it comes to money, fame, recognition, praise, the rewards usually belong to someone else. That's wrong. Think of success as sustained effort of will. It begins and ends with YOU, and no one else. NO  ONE  ELSE.

Think of any goal you may have — say, you've always wanted to be a highly successful businessperson. Close your eyes and imagine it. What does that look like?

I guarantee you're thinking about big offices with lots of people buzzing around, jetting off to far-away lands for lunch meetings,  and being interviewed by Fast Company, Forbes, or the Wall Street Journal.

In reality —  you're fantasizing about BEING a great businessperson and not actually doing the work to become a great businessperson. This thinking is deceiving because it places the emphasis on passive recognition over active, sustained effort.

If you shift your focus onto your own actions and the more you create a sustained effort, the more likely rewards will follow.

It's that simple.

P.S. Are you caught in one of these three traps? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with people from all over the world who wanted to take aggressive steps in their career — call me to schedule a complimentary session.

The Quote That Will Change Your Life.

The great Jim Rohn once said: "Success is a few simple disciplines, practiced every day — while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day."

Now step back and look at what you do every day. What actions or people move you forward? What actions or people keep you back?

Stop being a baby — you absolutely know your bad behaviors. Surfing on your laptop, overly long and gossipy conversations with ineffectual people, doing the same busywork that you know won't get you business. And the worst — hanging around people who are also fumbling their careers.

Conversely — you absolutely know every good action and person who can move you forward. At light speed.

You're just too afraid to reach out and ask them. Or just take the action that scares you silly.

When I coach my clients, we have these conversations frequently — ME: "Why don't you just call them?" THEM: "I can't do that! I wouldn't know what to say!" ME: "Yes you would - just make the call." THEM: "They don't want to hear from me!"

And so it goes — and I ultimately break down all of their excuses until they make the call. And guess what — they get the business. Or they meet someone they would only dream of meeting. It happens every day.

Today — I want you to start improving your positive disciplines — pick a few and DO them. You'll be surprised how fast your luck changes.

How To Become A Billionaire.

A great Quora answer from Justine Musk (Elon Musk's ex-wife) on what it takes to become a billionaire: "Shift your focus away from what you want and get deeply, intensely curious about what the world wants and needs. Ask yourself what it is that you have the potential to bring to the world that is so unique and compelling and helpful that no computer could replace it, no one could outsource it, no one could steal your product and make it better and then club you into oblivion (not literally). Then develop that potential."

"The world doesn't throw a billion dollars at a person because the person wants it or works so hard they feel they deserve it. (The world does not care what you want or deserve.)"

She is so spot on — too many people try to dream their way into success and forget if people will really want or need it. Once in awhile, someone will develop a new idea which attracts buyers, but most of the time (95%), no one really cares.

Read the entire Quora answer here.

The venn diagram above is one I present to clients to help them navigate their businesses and careers. 'The World Needs It' and 'You Are Paid For It' are very important parts of this model. Enjoy!

P.S. I've tried to shy away from any reader comments that might focus more on her divorce settlement and pay attention to her advice. Stick to the facts.

My Favorite Podcasts — Tim Ferriss.

If you know me, I am an avid podcast listener. At any one time, I have between 15-20 podcasts on my iPhone and I listen to them in the car when I commute to my office on the water. I've been a fan of Tim Ferriss ever since he published his first book "The Four Hour Workweek". Unfortunately, many people, to this day, still chide him for his egregious title - "No one can fit 40 hours of work into four hours!".

They're missing the point. Tim sets the stage not to curtail your workweek into four hours, but to constantly look at all the things you do and use tools, techniques, tips, gear, and habits to streamline your behavior.

His new podcast (he just started over a year ago) is PHENOMENAL. Well thought out, interesting, insightful and most of all, Tim procures the BEST people to interview.

Here are some of my favorites:

• Matt Mullenweg (he started Wordpress) has been named one of PC World’s Top 50 People on the Web, Inc.com’s 30 under 30, and Business Week’s 25 Most Influential People on the Web.
• Arnold Schwarzenegger… at his kitchen table. Tim and Arnold cover how he started, how he excels and what he does to this day to stay at the top of his game.
• Marc Goodman has been a Resident Futurist for the FBI and a senior adviser to Interpol. In this episode, Tim and Marc go deep into the digital underground to expose the alarming ways criminals, corporations, and even countries are using emerging technologies against you…and some simple steps you can take to decrease your vulnerability.
• Ryan Holiday, author of The Obstacle Is The Way, started as a Director of Marketing at American Apparel at age 21 (!). He gets more heat, makes more high-stakes decisions, and take more risks in a given week than most people experience in any given quarter. He also happens to be a die-hard Stoic and incredible at putting the principles into practice.

Sit back, load them on your iPhone, put your headphones on, and enjoy. Each one has changed my life and thinking.

My Seven Favorite Motivational Videos.

Every year, I try to think of something to give away to all of my clients, colleagues, and friends. This year, I would like to offer up my Top 7 motivational videos I watch regularly to help add a little bit of energy and enthusiasm to my life.

I know you'll enjoy them — so without further ado (and in no special order) . . .

1. 5'7'' White Kid Dunks After 6 Months Of Training.

2. Meet the Gutsy Dad That Started a Car Wash to Help His Son Find Purpose.

3. We Stopped Dreaming - Neil deGrasse Tyson.

4. TED Talk: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.

5. Jack LaLanne truly was ahead of his time. Here he is speaking on "The Secret of Happiness."

6. What will your last 10 years look like?

7. This is Water - Commencement Speech by David Foster Wallace

Extra Credit: Rise & Shine! The Ultimate Motivational Clip.

Ask Rich Gee: Career Questions From Quora.

Frequently, I am asked questions from people within the website Quora — I try my best to answer most — but candidly, there are too many. Here are some of my best answers to great questions concerning people's careers:

What is more difficult in the long run, working for a company or running your own business?

Both are difficult and rewarding in their own ways:

• Company - you have a boss to keep happy, you have set work hours, you get a regular paycheck, you get a paid location to work at, you get benefits, and you also get jerk bosses, the chance to lose your job instantly, cancelled projects, and frequently depressed coworkers.
• Business - you have a clients to keep happy, you have flexible work hours, your paycheck is based on how hard your work and hustle, you get to work at home, you get to pay for your own benefits, and you also get no jerk bosses (but jerk clients), the chance to lose your clients at the drop of a hat, cancelled projects, and you might be frequently depressed.

All kidding aside (but I was telling the truth) - both have their ups and downs, sometimes you feel in control with both, and sometimes you feel out of control with both.

I've done both - 20 years in corporate - 14 years coaching - and both are hard/easy, rewarding/frustrating, but all in all - it's a great ride.

My suggestion? Start a company.

How long does it take to settle in at a new job?

On average - 3-6 months. Not only do you need to meet, develop and hone relationships with key people, you need to learn the whole business - how it works, what are the levers/movers, what are the clients like, etc.

You also need to see how the company reacts to emergencies, slow-time, reactive decisions from management, and industry shifts.

I hate to say 'settle in', because when I'm settled, I'm bored. You need to constantly challenge yourself - do new things, meet new people, etc.

Where on their resumes might long-term unemployed job candidates address their current career gaps?

Are you not getting traction with your current résumé? (a lot of opportunities/recruiters/hiring managers passing on you?)

If not, don't do anything. If so, and if the gaps are frequent and wide, you might want to fill in those gaps. Some suggestions:

1. You didn't sit on the couch all day and watch Jerry Springer. You probably did something - volunteered, side job, etc. Let them know.
2. Did you try to start a business? Did you do side work (consulting) that you were paid for? Let them know.
3. If you really didn't do anything for a LONG time and your résumé isn't getting traction, you might say you helped out a sick family member at home - most of the time recruiters might ask a small question, but it's happening more and more every day as our population ages. I know this might be a 'white lie' and a fireable offense - but if you are consistently striking out, you have to do something to change the dynamic.

#3 might rankle some readers — but there are a lot of people who are lost right now looking for a replacement job and they've gone YEARS without employment.

What kind of advice would you give to a 40-something starting a new job where she'll be working alongside 20-somethings?

1. Listen more than preach. You are not their 'sensei' right now, you just work with them. Also, be patient.
2. Ask questions. They might know more than you do. And they probably do.
3. Don't talk about your kids, your injuries, your parents, or any other 40+ year-old concern. 20 year-olds don't care.
4. Don't try to 'be cool'. Be yourself. Be interested, but be yourself.
5. Let them make their own mistakes. If they ask you for advice, then you give it to them. Ultimately, they will look to you as their 'sensei' if you do it right.
6. Try to do things that they do. If they invite you out for drinks, go. If they mention a band, listen to them. If they talk about a movie, check it out.
7. Compliment them. We tend to forget to do that with our younger counterparts.
8. Work out, stay in shape, eat healthy, and keep a close eye on your wardrobe style. You don't want to dress like Lou in MadMen. Also keep an eye on your hairstyle.
9. Look at your glasses style. Too many guys and gals wear really old frames they wore in high school. Get with the program and style up.
10. Grow an interest in some of the things they might be interested in - music, movies, books, theater, etc. If you show a sincere interest in their passions, they might ask you about yours.

Extra-Credit: Keep up with TECHNOLOGY. I'm 52 and get so angry at people my age who have problems, disregard or disparage simple technology I use easily. YOU LOOK OLD immediately if you have frequent problems with email, the web, your phone (get a smartphone), etc.

Great Business Lessons From The Movies – Working Girl.

Let's zip back to 1988 and watch one of my favorite Harrison Ford movies . . . Working Girl! Yes, I know, Working Girl. I love this movie — it's a romantic comedy directed by Mike Nichols. It tells the inspiring story of Tess, a secretary, played by Melanie Griffith, who works in the mergers and acquisitions department of a Wall Street investment bank.

When her boss, Sigourney Weaver, breaks her leg skiing, Tess uses her absence and connections, including Weaver's boyfriend, Harrison Ford, to put forward her idea for a merger deal.

I can't believe it's 26 years old. So let's go to the business lessons:

Image Gets Your Foot In The Door.

Tess is a secretary — and back in 1988, there was a distinctive separation how secretaries and executives dressed. So she changes her whole wardrobe to fit in with the big guns.

What do you wear every day? First (and subsequent) impressions play a huge part with everyone you meet and interact with. Where do you dress with your peers? Do you wear t-shirts and shorts? Jeans?

If you want to play with the big boys and girls, you need to dress like them. Pay attention to what they wear — compliment their shirt, jacket, blouse and find out where they shop. Imitation is the sincerest form of getting ahead.

If you don't know what to wear, go here — Boys click here — Girls click here.

Who You Know Is As Important As What You Know.

Tess instantly realizes and proceeds to introduce herself to higher ranking people to get ahead.

Who do you hang around with? Who do you talk to? How's it working for you so far?

If you want to get ahead, move up and play with the adults, you need to begin to connect with other groups of influential people. Read this.

Getting Ahead Involves Taking Risks.

Throughout the movie, Tess takes calculated chances to get ahead, She absconds with her boss' wardrobe, crashes weddings, and barges into meetings.

I'm not saying for you to do that (it's a movie) — but you should step out on the ledge every so often to not only see the view, but to also move your career ahead — turbo style.

Get invited to that meeting, reach out to the dream client you always wanted to work with, ask for the business instead of shutting up. Take a chance every day.

You'll Never Know Where A Great Idea Might Come From.

Tess gets her brainstorm from reading her daily newspaper's gossip column and puts two-and-two together. It ultimately brings together two media titans and gives her a new job.

How do you get your ideas? When was the last time you pitched a new idea to your boss or client? A new product, offering or service?

You need to take a chance sometimes and tell other people — important people — influential people — your ideas. Read this.

Be Ready, In Case Opportunity Knocks.

As the scouts always say - Be Prepared. 

Get your ideas in order. Get your style in order. Get your connections in order. Start taking risks. Because in the near future, someone will be knocking at your door.

Are you ready to answer it? To let them into your business? To sell them on an idea?

You only have one chance — time to make sure you can make it happen. Like this.

Do you like Working Girl? What other lessons did you get from it?

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Which rule resonated clearly with your career? Which one made you think twice? Let's talk. I've worked with a number of clients — and we developed a successful strategy to grow your career exponentially. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me — I offer only one complimentary session each week.

Great Business Lessons From The Movies – Jerry Maguire.

WOW - What a wonderful movie. It's a love story, a coming of age movie, and building strong friendships, all mixed with humor and pathos. And so many business rules. So here they are:

"Show me the money!" - Rod Tidwell (video)

You work to make money. So many people forget this. I know — there's the satisfaction, the notoriety, the use of your talents, etc. But at the end of the day, you need to take a signed check home. And most people forget this.

When it comes to asking for a price for their services, most people either bunt or balk. They don't realize the money discussion is key to any business transaction. And most people think their begging or putting out their client.

I remember a proposal I was putting together — I was asking $15K for the work. My wife reviewed it (she reviews everything!) and she said to double it to $30K. I thought she was crazy — but I did it. And the client quickly accepted.

“Hey, I don’t have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.” - Dicky Fox, Jerry's mentor (video)

You're going to fail. And succeed. Don't worry about one or the other. Just do your best and keep swinging.

Learn from your failures and celebrate your successes.

"Help me… help you. Help me, help you." - Jerry Maguire (video)

If you position everything you do to help other people, you will make a lot of money and be gainfully employed for many years.

The minute you veer from this tenet and start doing busy work — you'll find your job prospects drying up quickly.

"It’s not show friends. Its show business." - Bob Sugar (video)

You are not out to make friends — you are there to deliver service.

This is true with your clients, the office, organizations, etc. Concentrate first on business and if friends come later, fine. Not the other way around.

Want to read Jerry Maguire's Mission Statement? Click here.

What are your favorite quotes from Jerry Maguire?

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Which quote resonated clearly with your career? Which one made you think twice? Let's talk. I've worked with a number of clients — and we developed a successful strategy to grow your career exponentially. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me — I offer only one complimentary session each week.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014. Over 25 million images, only $1 each.