Be A Better Leader - 20 Leadership Hacks For Managers.

I managed large teams for over 15 years in corporate and have been coaching C-Level clients for 15 more. During this time, I've probably run into every scenario a manager can experience. 

​Here are my top 20 hacks to make you a better leader (in no special order): 

1. Motivate people, don't command them. It's a lot harder, but you will like the results a lot more. Find the fuel that energizes them.

2. Identify your key employees and reward them so they know they're valued. Don't worry about losing poor talent.

3. Translate upper management's vague directives into things your team can understand and take action on.

4. Never bullshit your staff. If something requires secrecy for the good of the company, just be clear on 'I cannot discuss that’.

5. When things go well, don't tout yourself to upper management, tout your team. You'll get the credit as well.

6. Don't worry about losing poor talent. In addition, the best thing you can do for your best people is to get rid of the worst people.

7. Elevate the individual and team as a whole when someone does great work. Let them take the limelight.

8. When someone on my team screws up, be the responsible "buck stops here" person as the manager. Act as the umbrella to ensure the wrath of senior management does not rain down from above, and it's your responsibility to discipline them after you catch shit from on high. In addition to that, any discipline effort should be an opportunity to learn from mistakes. Help them to help themselves when they need to recover from a mistake.

9. Don’t be their friend. It's not worth it. You are no longer "One of the guys/girls" You can have fun, don't be a jerk, but you will never be one of them again. Don't try to be. Be cool, but not that cool, otherwise you will get walked on.

10. The more you make your employees feel like they're working with you, and not for you, the smoother the sailing. That being said, make sure boundaries are clear.

11. Always remain calm. The way you react to and handle situations will have a profound and lasting effect on your staff.

​12. Criticize in private, praise in public. Praise often, punish seldom.

​13. Figure out the intricacies of discipline and HR at your organization.Any serious disciplinary actions need to be absolutely by-the-book. Get help and a buddy in HR.

​14. Learn to listen. Especially to the new hires. And the quiet ones.

​15. Be loyal to your employees and they will be 10X loyal right back.

​16. Learn to delegate. It creates frustration in the short term, but saves you huge amounts of time and makes people feel more important in the long term.

​17. Create an environment that people want to work in. I find people work harder and are more motivated if they're happy. Don't micromanage, treat people with respect, and create a sense of joining a team rather than a top-down approach.

18. Always be fair. Everyone talks to each other and compares the slightest things whether you like it or not. If you have favorites or treat someone differently, eventually people will find out. This will definitely effect how they see you.

​19. Create an open door policy. My favorite policy is that I never mind when people ask questions about the situation or what they need to do. I'd rather someone mess up rather than doing noting. Of course, I'd rather someone ask me questions so they can figure out how to do things on their own, effectively, and efficiently too. Similarly, this also helps with building respect, creating a sense of team, and having more motivated and happy people.

​20. MOST IMPORTANT: Take care of your people and they'll take care of you. 

Be Direct & Ask For What You Want.

If you want something, ask for it. Pretty simple, eh? Actually, it's not. Many people run into external (and more frequently) internal obstacles.

Even though more women are affected than men, it's not just a woman's thing. Many men also run into the same obstacles when direct requests are required.

Why does it happen? Why do we shirk from being direct with a boss, colleague, or client?

1. We are afraid of coming off as whining or complaining.

2. We are afraid of a blunt response that will further deepen our insecurity.

3. We don't know what we really want.

4. You don't really believe you will receive what you are asking for (limiting beliefs).

5. You don't feel you have to ask — people should instantly realize your needs.

6. You don't know HOW to ask.

Most psychological studies prove that people are more likely to help you if you just ask in a simple and direct fashion. A smile doesn't hurt either. Most people are nice and willing to help someone in need.

One way I help my clients overcome being direct is to do "The Starbucks Challenge". I ask them to go to their local Starbucks, find the most expensive drink on the menu, order it, and then ask for a discount. It's amazing most people will build up a temporary anxiety complex all the way to the Starbucks location. They will run through various scenarios and their fear will mount until they ultimately ask for a discount. Of course, they will be turned down — but the realization afterward that they were acting childish makes the lesson even more powerful. Try it.

So let's tackle each one:

We are afraid of coming off as whining or complaining.

This is one of the biggies — we don't want to sound whiny or negative, so we don't really ask for what we really need. In fact, if you dance around the subject or draw out the request, YOU WILL sound whiny. Be direct, ask for what you want, and listen for the response — you will be pleasantly surprised.

We are afraid of a blunt response that will further deepen our insecurity.

Yes, you might receive that 'NO' infrequently. Conversely, you will frequently receive an unexpected 'YES'. In addition, the NO will not be blunt and yelled at you by your boss. Most of the time it will be couched comfortably in "let me think about it" or "not now", rather than a hurtful NO. We are so afraid of NO's (probably from childhood) that we are afraid of being direct.

We don't know what we really want.

A lot of people fall into this category. When something is really important, we tend to 'complexify' our need and flub our request. Successful people keep their requests super-simple and direct. Don't dance around the subject, don't parry and feint with your verbiage — just ask. One way to do this is to write down exactly what you need, hone the message, and then ask.

You don't really believe you will receive what you are asking for (limiting beliefs).

I run into this all the time with clients who want a promotion/raise or business owners who need to increase their fees. Many people have self-imposed, limiting beliefs which directly impact their ability to move up the corporate or business ladder. In the end, they are deceiving themselves — I actually had one client double their fee and their patients happily paid it. You just have to ask. Practice makes perfect — try to push yourself to ask for simpler things from strangers — to look at their newspaper, borrow their cellphone, etc. You will find they will happily share and you will build your confidence.

You don't feel you have to ask — people should instantly realize your needs.

This also circles around raises and promotions. A lot of people think they all have a guardian angel protecting them at work who will accurately track their progress and reward them when it's time. That's BS. Even the best managers forget to track their best performers and are always reticent to provide increases. You have to ask for them — because the only person caring about your needs is YOU.

You don't know HOW to ask.

I left the best one for last. There are a lot of people who just don't know how to get what they need because they've never done it. From the reasons above, this is how you do it — write exactly what you want down on paper, simply it, practice your request, find the best time to catch the person your asking, be direct and to the point, and then shut up. Let them respond — don't add anything else by prevaricating.

You will either receive a YES or a NO. It's that simple.

The Best Time To Find A New Job Is When You Don't Need It.

In other words — Always be prepared to leave a job, because your employer is always prepared to leave you. More and more, many companies (not all, mind you) find themselves letting employees go for a number of different reasons. Too young/too old, too much/too little salary, old/new employee, old/new direction, high/low level position are just some of the myriad reasons why people are let go from their place of employment. Sometimes we find ourselves in the crosshairs and next thing you know, you're packing up your desk in a cardboard box.

"About six months ago i was offered a job from a supplier to my company, but I felt decently happy and comfortable working where I was. To my surprise I was laid off from work last week, and am now looking for a job."

You need to be prepared — here are the big six things I tell my happily employed clients to shield them from layoffs:

1. Keep your résumé/LinkedIn profile current and ready to go at a moment's notice.

2. Ask for testimonials when you finish projects/leave divisions/manager's move.

3. Embrace recruiters and interview — you never know what great position you might run into.

4. Develop a robust emergency nest egg (just in case).

5. Build your network — maintain past relationships and grow new ones with key people in your industry.

6. Most important — keep your skills current and focus on in-demand areas.

I hate to say this — the idea of living through a career with the same company seems to be long, long gone. Most people should expect to move at least every 2-3 years. If you don't, your employers will.

In addition, rarely will you experience major jumps in position/salary/benefits at the same organization. Most people experience larger percentage jumps when they move when they still have a job (check out this Forbes article). Waiting for a company to can you to get that severance package is a frequent strategy (especially if it's a big package), but your value in the marketplace is severely reduced.

By the way . . . if you're thinking, "I'm irreplaceable, they can't function without what I know" then you're underestimating an organization's willingness to protect themselves and make haphazard decisions based on human greed and emotions.

Day One on your new job is the first day of your new job search. Never stop looking for better. The minute your current employer doesn't need you, your butt will be out the door. Again, this perspective is not for all organizations, but it does cover the majority out there.

P.S. One final rule — Always backup key email, contacts, and project files (just in case). Most people forget how important this information is until they don't let you go back to your computer and walk you out of the building. So much of your potential portfolio when you're looking for a new job will be gone if you don't save it somehow. Be prepared and always back up to a personal thumb or external hard drive.

Don't Small Talk, Have Courageous Conversations.

Why do people hate networking events? Usually it's full of people who are all talking small. "How's business?" " There's a lot of people here." "How's the food?" "That's a great tie."

Shoot me now. We all hate these events - executives, vendors, and business owners alike. Unfortunately, we've been told that we have to go to them to grow our business. And they're right.

You have to regularly break out of your bubble and meet new people. Interact and market your product/service to get traction.

But how many events have you attended early in the morning or late into the evening that just sucked? Tons.

I have a technique to make them Powerful, Engaging, & Fun. Here are some of the things I do to dump the small talk and have courageous conversations:

1. Take An Avid Interest In The Person You're Speaking To. 

Most of the time, people are only thinking of themselves. In fact, many people closely listen to what you're saying only to anticipate a pause so they can talk.

Take the time to LISTEN to what the other person is saying and frequently add energizing sounds and body language to keep them going.

Paraphrase what they just said and insert a follow-up question to dig deeper into what they are commenting on.

2. Act Like A Host.

What do hosts do? They make their guests feel comfortable, at home, start fun conversations, and selflessly connect people together to build a strong networking circle of professionals.

What's wrong with acting like a host (even if you aren't the host) and helping your fellow attendees accomplish all of these goals?

I love to walk up to a group and ask everyone how they like the wine/food/room — they always positively comment and immediately invite me into their conversation. Try it.

3. Talk About Scary Subjects.

Instead of the weather, think of assertive, strong questions to get people out of their shell. Some I've used:

"So, what's your big project for 2017? How's it going so far?" "What new things are you trying to launch?" "Favorite super-power: Flying or X-Ray Vision?" (I love this one - ask me how it works) "Did you hire anyone new this year? What was the one quality that shined for you?" "What client do you absolutely despise? Why? Why don't you fire them?" "What's the scariest thing you've done in the past few years?"

Now understand, some of these work with new acquaintances — some will only work with friends or when you've conversed for a certain amount of time.

4. Open Up.

Once you've made an initial connection, try to open up and talk about serious topics. Once you get to know the, let them know that you just lost a client or that the product you just launched isn't doing that great (as an example). Being honest and authentic is so much better than fake and boring.

5. It Not All About YOU.

Don't go there only looking for business. In fact, frame your perspective around helping others. "I am going to try to connect everyone I meet to someone I know to help them build their business/career."

Givers Gain — make sure to try to help everyone (okay - not everyone - there are some lost causes in every bunch).

If you try just one of these — you will transform your typical, boring networking event into an exciting and memorable soirée. Be Courageous!

The Three Most Important Words For 2019.

Already hitting small obstacles in 2019? You started out so well and now, for some reason, you seem to be hitting the same wall that you always encounter when you try to make an upward move in your career.

Let’s talk "VCP". It's an old BNI acronym for the words: VISIBILITY & CREDIBILITY = PROFITABILITY. Simply, if you are more visible to the people that matter, you then have an opportunity to show your credibility. And if you succeed in convincing them about your credibility, you then access profitability, or the ability to grow your business.

This simple acronym can easily be applied to executives in corporate or business owners trying to grow their business. We get caught in our career — DOING our business — but forgetting to GROW our business. We forget the simplicity of VCP. For example:

VISIBILITY — When was the last time you stepped out and networked aggressively outside of your contact sphere?

If you're an executive:

• When was the last time you went to lunch with a key player outside of your group? Do you do it every week? You should.

• When did you reach out to your peers in your industry (outside of your company) to have lunch?

• When did you reach out to leaders in your community (not industry) to have coffee/lunch?

• When was the last time you spoke at an industry meeting? Went to an industry meeting?

If you own a business:

• Get out and meet people. Your office neighbors, colleagues in your industry.

• Join a networking group. Make it a regular event.

• Use signage, brochures, blog, guest speak at client events. Be a billboard for your business.

CREDIBILITY — 

• Do what you say you're going to do. This is a major dysfunction of many executives and businesses. They say YES to too many things, they over-promise (people pleasers) and under-deliver.

• Over-Deliver. Always add something special and extra to every client deliverable. Surprise them!

• Ask past clients and managers to talk you up (i.e., on LinkedIn recommendations).

• Build up a history of knocking it out of the park. Be assertive, be bold!

If you start with VISIBILITY and add CREDIBILITY, you will quickly encounter PROFITABILITY.

• Businesses will begin to get more clients, better clients, bigger clients.

• Executives will begin to get the better projects, more exposure, promotions and more money.

VISIBILITY & CREDIBILITY = PROFITABILITY. Make it Happen in 2019!

If 2019 Was The Best Year Of Your Life, What Would Have To Happen?

Take a moment and imagine it's December 31, 2019. You're sitting back in your comfy leather chair, reading your favorite book, by the fireplace sipping hot chocolate. MMMMM. Looking back over the past 365 days — you realize you had a great year. An amazing, incredible, unbelievable year.

Step One — What would make it an amazing year professionally? A promotion/raise? A huge uptick in business/clients? A new job? What would make it an amazing year personally? Travel to exotic lands? More time with the family? More time with friends? Trying out a new pastime or hobby?

I want you to take a piece of paper and write down your amazing year. What would happen? It doesn't have to be a literary classic — just use bullet points. Your focus should be on speed — get your thoughts down on paper ASAP. Then hone it down to a single mission sentence. "I will be SVP of Operations and increase my salary by 15%" or "I will launch a new line of products and increase my client base by 20%". Maybe "I will learn the piano and take my family to Hawaii."

Step Two — What do you need to do to get there? What steps do you need to take? What actions/activities/tasks? Who can help you? Map out each step you need to take to reach your vision. If you're especially motivated, add timing and deadlines to each task. This isn't the hard/scary part — you know how to get there.

Here's the scary part — to realize 'Your Best Year Ever', you will have to really push yourself. You will have to build your confidence up and combat procrastination and fear. You will be doing things you've never done before, meet people you've never believed you'd meet, and reach new heights never before imagined. You will have to work harder and smarter to realize your dream.

To do this you need Goals (step 1) and a Roadmap (step 2). But you have to keep your eye on the prize to help you modify your behaviors and talents to deliver 'Your Best Year Ever'. Put your goal on a Post-It note and post it on your mirror to see every morning. Reinforcement is key when it comes to goals — it needs to stare you in the face every day.

This isn't rocket science. Many years ago, when Elon Musk sold Zip2, X.com and PayPal, his vision was to change the world and humanity. His goals included reducing global warming through sustainable energy production and consumption, reducing the "risk of human extinction" by "making life multiplanetary" by setting up a human colony on Mars. I think he's on his way with Solar City, Tesla, and SpaceX.

You can do it too. I know you can. Oh yes, by the way, Happy New Year!

The 3 Pillars Of Success.

Just got back from a workshop in NYC for a large group of executives (145+ attendees). They enjoyed my talk (rating me 4.83 out of a possible 5.0 on my evaluation form), but they REALLY enjoyed the Q&A portion at the end. I thought I'd share the best question and my answer:

"How do we keep moving forward and not get caught up in the day-to-day malaise of emails and meetings?"

I said, "This might sound super-simple and you might know it, but there's a great way to look at each day and measure how you moved the big ball forward. I call it the three business 'pillars of success'."

ACTION

First, you have to take action — any action, to move FORWARD. Most people are scared to make a decision, pick a direction, or commit to a plan. They get caught in analysis-paralysis and get stuck over analyzing the problem/challenge and not moving forward. Sometimes they are afraid of making the wrong decision or fearful of commitment to a strategy that rubs against the corporate grain.

Solution: Just do it. Pull the trigger. Any action (even the wrong one) is better than no action. Especially if you are ready to go but are ambivalent that you might have forgotten something. Pick up the saw and start sawing.

If you're afraid of screwing up - don't worry. Making a decision and taking action usually isn't a death sentence. You can always stop, correct, and re-engage. Remember — this is the hardest part — pull the trigger and start the process.

PERFORMANCE

Once you take action, you need to push forward and see it through. Don't take a half-step and put your toe in the water — dive in. Push yourself to keep the momentum going. One single action just won't do it — you need to follow it up with consistent and powerful performance to ensure success.

Solution: Make a plan. Segment out all of your activities, tasks, and steps ahead of time. Once you see the big picture and all the discrete elements, it will make whatever you do that much easier and less stressful (and scary).

There will be a bump somewhere in the middle (usually a person) — something or someone to set you off your game. If it happens, expect it, and move around it ASAP to ensure that it doesn't disrupt all of your momentum.

RESULTS

Most people forget about this one. You have to deliver results to produce a successful project, product, or initiative. These are tangible deliverables that not only encourage you to move forward, but allay the fears of management that you're doing the right thing.

Solution: Don't go for the big bang at the end. Plan for and deliver small incremental results that will not only motivate you and your team, but also get the attention of management. Show them that slow and steady positive results win the day — this stops you from over-promising and under-delivering.

That's it. If you consistently look at everything you do with an Action/Performance/Results lens, you'll find you get a lot more important stuff done faster. Leave the emails and meetings to some other poor performer.

All Great Employees Have This Secret Ingredient.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Many of my clients complain about the work habits of their employees and how they're light-years away from a competent and conscientious worker.

It has to do with their past work histories. And I think I've solved that problem.

To be a good employee who is valued and moves up accordingly in the organization — one has to have worked at a number of similar vocations to build valuable abilities. I've honed the list down to four areas:

Farmhand

You need to work on a farm or construction site. You must experience hard work for eight hours, outside in nature's elements, and get really dirty during the process. It teaches you the value of hard work while strengthening your muscles and pushing the limits of what you can really do.

Most workers pucker-out before they hit 50% — on a farm or construction site, you will push yourself with work that will make you hit 100% of effort every day.

Retail

Customer service is key — being able to smile and help people who are being snotty, demanding, or obnoxious is a talent only trained in retail. It's a lot easier than a farmhand, but you have to gird yourself to handle multiple customers at once, keep the store clean and well-stocked, and hit your numbers every day.

Working under florescent lights is tiresome after 8-10 hours, but retail work will teach you everything you need to know about customer service, working under pressure, bad bosses, horrendous customers, and boring environments.

Sports

Teamwork is not something you're born with, you have to learn it on-the-job. Participation in a sport, especially a team sport, teaches you to rely on your friends and step-up/push yourself when things get tough.

It's this can-do environment you absorb — the ability to push past the pain and not be afraid of losing.

Camp Counselor

Being comfortable speaking in front of groups and convincing people do do things is key in business. One of the best ways to excel is to be a camp counselor or tour guide to teach you the basics and to repeatedly get you communicating to a group of people.

With speaking, you learn by doing and you get better with practice. In addition, you have to use your persuasion skills to guide people to your way of thinking.

This list isn't perfect — I'd love to hear from you if you have any additions, modifications, or comments on this list.

Structure Your Thinking To Deliver Results.

Too often, people tend to solve problems by taking two divergent directions:

1. They think of an idea — and zip off in that direction with no real assessment or planning. Measure once, cut twice.

2. They over-analyze their problem to death without taking action. Analysis-Paralysis.

The hardest part of any initiative or project is usually getting everyone on-board - mentally and physically. You need the go-ahead and the willing resources to make it happen.

Here's a simple way of presenting your case - not only to yourself to fully analyze each permutation, but to convince all parties that you're on the right track. I learned this method over 20 years ago during my Six Sigma/QAT training at ADVO. So here goes:

1. Start by defining the Current State. What is the current situation right now? What's been happening? Use metrics to clearly define the situation and make it real for all involved.

2. Then illustrate the Impact of the Current State if nothing is done. What is the eventual outcome of doing nothing? How much money, time, and resources will be wasted?

3. Hit them with the Desired State. Show yourself and your audience what nirvana is. Show them the money, the time savings, and piles of gold that would rain down from the heavens.

4. Finally, present your Solution (or solutions). Once you've defined the problem, shown them the promised land, show them how your solution will solve all of your current state problems and quickly deliver your desired state.

What are you really doing here? You're telling them a story — and people LOVE stories. It's simple, straightforward, and based on facts.

You see, the hardest job anyone will every have in business is convincing people over to their way of thinking. Why? Because emotions, fear, and ego get in the way.

Using this method, you slowly and factually take them through your thinking and getting them to nod their heads "Yes" during the entire process. By the time you present your solution, they have fully bought into your presentation.

P.S. Hope you like. BTW - this type of presentation also works well with sales — in-person and even on your website. Show them the current state, the impact of doing the same thing, then illustrate the desired state and deliver your solution. It's simple, easy and works every time.

High-Potential Relationships Are The Real Currency Of Business.

It's not only what you know. It's who you know. And more importantly, who knows you. Too often, when I first start coaching high-performing executives, they wonder why they are not moving up as fast as their colleagues.

They observe key influencers in their organization, but they don't reach out and engage them. They might even be in meetings with these influencers, they might even talk to them — but when the meeting is over, they're a past memory.

It's frustrating. They work hard and they deliver the goods every day — but for some reason, they are not invited to the inner circle. The worst part? Colleagues who rarely do anything of substance, have express access to the inner circle. It's so unfair.

So how do you break into the inner circles of business? How do you get key influencers to notice you, respect you, and invite you to their table? It comes down to three simple and effective steps:

1. Be Visible.

Don't hide in the shadows and don't lurk in the corners of the room. Sit your butt right down next to them (if possible) and introduce yourself. Ask questions during the meeting — don't feel as if you can't. Make the question powerful and allow informative branching to other opportunities. Take notes, sit up, and pay attention to everything going on around you. Show them your best.

2. Be Assertive.

Make your presence know — talk to them about what they CARE about. Show them you know all about it and you have a few ideas on how you can solve their problem. Tell them about your accomplishments — BRAG — don't hold back. Be proud of your track record and let them know about it.

3. Be Persistent.

At the end of the meeting, try to engage them and see if they'd like to catch lunch or coffee so you can talk more. Try to bump into them in the hallway and introduce yourself again. No one ever hates enthusiasm. If you go about it in the right way and are empathetic of their feelings, you can easily make this a win-win for all concerned.

These techniques might seem scary at first — but if you do them in the right order — magic will happen. If you are still wary, you might need a coach.

P.S. Many years ago, I was hired at a company to launch a new site and product. My first day, my new boss and I were walking to a meeting with the development staff and we were passing the new CMO (who was also hired a few weeks before). We all stopped and my boss introduced me to the new CMO. Many people would have shaken hands, engaged in 30 seconds of small-talk, and moved on. I took the opportunity to inquire about the CMO's first few weeks and then I asked him if I could run the initial site layouts to get his feedback. He was pleased to be involved and asked his assistant to set up a meeting. From that point on, we were great friends and we worked closely on a number of projects. It's that easy.

How Is Your Self-Esteem? It's Critical.

If one were to ask what single characteristic that makes you attractive to others, it would be self-esteem. Self-esteem, as defined by Nathaniel Branden in "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem," is the reputation one has with him or herself. The criteria which we unconsciously judge ourselves and which makeup our self-esteem is two fold:

1. The first is self efficacy, which is our perceived ability to deal with the basic requirements of life; i.e., competence.

2. The second is self respect, which is the degree to which we feel deserving of happiness, receiving the rewards of our efforts and how steadfast we are in defending our boundaries.

Branden gives us six basic pillars, which if worked on with sufficient effort will increase one's self-esteem. These are:

1. The practice of living consciously

2. The practice of self acceptance

3. The practice of self responsibility

4. The practice of self assertiveness

5. The practice of living purposefully

6. The practice of personal integrity

While I won't break down each of these in detail, when I work with clients, I preach many of these pillars in one way or another.

Branden explains that even the smallest improvements in any one of these pillars can lead to massive shifts on one's overall self-esteem.

Improvements happen in two steps. The first is asking, what do I want? And the second asks, what must I do? First, the conceptualization, then the execution.

It is with the execution step that one receives the reward of a boost in self-esteem. It isn't necessarily the successful execution of the action step, but an honest, committed attempt.

For example, if you have approach anxiety and you finally work up the courage to ask for a promotion or meet a high-potential contact, the reward received is substantial.

This execution, essentially imprinted your subconscious saying that you are willing to put yourself in harm's way in order to experience what you want, because you believe you are worthy of that experience. This is the basis for courage. This is why blasting through your fears can become an addiction for some people. The boost in dopamine and serotonin is very real, and feels amazing.

I highly recommend giving this book a read. It has been an essential tool in developing my own assertiveness and raising my overall sense of worthiness influencing my past career, my current practice and everything in between.

Six Secrets My Clients Know For 2018.

The new year is a time of inspiration and new beginnings. Here are some proven methods to make 2018 your best year ever — these are the tenets I share with my clients to help them knock it out of the park every month.

1. Decide to be successful. That’s the first step — most people are afraid of success, not failure. They feel that their lives will change drastically and become unmanageable. They want to stay in control, live the same small life, and worry about money all the time. If you face and conquer your fear of success (and failure) daily, you will see your career and life grow exponentially.

2. Leave the pity party. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and guilty about what you haven't done. It's a new year — take advantage of the freshness of January and work with a clean slate. Too often, we tend to live in a self-imposed pity party where we replay all of our faults, our mistakes, and the bad situations on a loop in our heads. It's time to stop and move forward — don't be that guest who never leaves the party.

3. Make it your duty. This is YOUR life and it's YOUR responsibility to make things better every day. It's YOUR duty to find ways to stay on track and focus on what will make you, your career, and your business better in 2018. Stop blaming or waiting for other people to do it for you. Stop being a baby — no excuses, make it happen.

4. Hang around better tennis players. To get better, you need to hang around people who play the game better than you do. Why? First, they will inspire you to push yourself to new heights — to run faster, jump higher, and perform at a higher level. In addition, better players will teach you better, faster and smarter ways to do things — to streamline your actions for better performance.

5. Work hard. Work smart. I can't say this enough. No one (and I repeat, no one) ever got to where they are by goofing off. By taking their time, moving at a snail's pace, or relaxing during work hours. Every successful person has put in blood, sweat, and tears to get where they are — they work and play hard to get to the levels you only dream about. If you're not putting in at least 40 hours each week, you're never going to get where you want to be.

6. Develop cash-flow opportunities & additional income channels. How can you make more money for the same amount of work? How can you capitalize on your performance and add additional value to what you deliver? Step back and think about what you do every day and see how you can increase it, package it, and disseminate it to get more bang for your buck. What other services or products can you deliver?

I know these six tenets will help you make 2018 your best year ever! If you need an accountability partner, try a complimentary session with me.

You Can Be The Best You Can Be.

I came up with a simple and powerful tool the other day. I was standing in my office in front of a large Post-It notepad sheet with a red sharpie in my hand (red delivers intention!) — and the ideas just flowed. What did I come up with to help you be the best? To be the best you can be, there are four stages to success — Find Me, Want Me, Sell Them, Close Them. This works for the corporate executive, to the aspiring entrepreneur, all the way to the person in transition. It's simple, it's direct, and it works. Let me explain each one:

STAGE ONE: FIND ME

We go through our lives partially hidden to key influential people and once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. We either sit at our desk toiling away, make cold calls to people who don't want our services, or hide at home and send out electronic résumés to closed positions. And we wonder why we aren't moving up, getting the best clients, or landing that dream job. It's frustrating.

The best businesses are easy to find - a big sign, the best location — the ability to stand out and be a billboard so millions of people can see you:

• Executive: When was the last time you introduced yourself to the leaders in you organization? Do they know you?

• Business Owner: New signage, new website, new branding — getting out and touching lots of people?

• Transitional: Keywords on LinkedIn, writing articles, hitting industry meetings, hitting the library?

STAGE TWO: WANT ME

Okay — now we are being seen by the powers that be. What do we do now? We want them to WANT US. How do we do that?

You need to develop your own personal brand that will engage your audience and get them to see your ability, your product, and your talents:

• Executive: What can you do to really help your company? If you've done it, do you brag about it? Be bold.

• Business Owner: What one thing do you do that can change people's lives or fill a hole in their life? Spotlight your brand.

• Transitional: Polish your image and brand - hit the gym, change your fashions, and show them what you can do for them. No begging.

STAGE THREE: SELL THEM

They've seen us and they want us. It's time to sell them and show them we are the best choice (this is where most fail).

You need to develop an iron-clad delivery that will make them better understand what you can do for them and that you're the only person on this earth who can do it. Find the BURNING issue that keeps them awake at night and show them how you will solve it.

• Executive: Think big - what are the real issues your company/industry are facing right now? Figure out some powerful solutions.

• Business Owner: Who are your biggest/best customers? What aren't you doing for them that will change their life?

• Transitional: It's not what you did - it's what you can do for them RIGHT NOW. Pinpoint what that is and deliver it.

STAGE FOUR: CLOSE THEM

Everyone forgets this one. They market, produce the itch, and make the sale — then they forget to close or leave them hanging.

Once you've sold them — get them to sign on the dotted line. Don't feel that it's their job to jump into the boat after you've hooked them — take them off your line and place them nicely in your cooler.

• Executive: Once they are interested in you — try to offer yourself to help them with a major initiative or pitch. You have the time.

• Business Owner: Once they are sold — make the closing process simple, easy, transparent, and fluid. It should be pleasurable for the customer.

• Transitional: Ask for the job. Get them to commit. Show them that you can leave for a better opportunity. Sign on the dotted line.

If you stick to this method and produce key deliverables for each stage — I promise you — you will be THE BEST YOU CAN BE.

A Mastermind Group Is Critical To Your Success.

Let's get right into it — You need to join/start a mastermind group. Here are the facts: WHAT is a mastermind group?

Four to seven people in the trenches just like you, who work on their business/career, and who want to learn and grow. Each member offers their current resources, tactics 
and tools that work for them — 
plus they give you support when you need it.

WHY start a mastermind group?

It's a structure that will literally pull your business forward:

• You don't get sidelined when bad things happen.
• You don't get distracted, because you’re building a critical support system.
• You have a comfort zone of success you’re accustomed to and can measure your performance.
• As you break through each ceiling, you'll need partners to pull you up.

WHO should be in your mastermind group?

Optimally, you play better tennis with people who play better than you. But I feel that diversity is the real power of your mastermind — get members from many areas/industries, age groups, etc. Surprisingly, you will all have the same issues, with subtle filters personalizing them to your business/career.

WHEN should you meet?

Usually you meet on a strict, regular schedule — bi-weekly, monthly, or quarterly. Attendance should be mandatory — your mastermind will only work if everyone is invested in its success. They run 3-8 hours, depending on the number of members, frequency of meetings, and the general 'antsyness' of each attendee.

FACILITATOR - Yes or No?

Yes — if you find your mastermind strays off course frequently and resembles a coffee klatch. The minute it becomes disorganized, unruly or off-course, you need a facilitator. I can help.

No — if you have dedicated members who recognize the power of your group, stay focused, and share in the responsibility of facilitating, developing topics to discuss, etc.

WHAT is the PAYOFF of a mastermind group?

• Exclusive Community — it involves dedication, communication, and a true willingness to succeed.
• Not On Your Own — the feeling of being alone goes away. You get committed business/career advisors.
• Grow Your Network — you get to connect with people you never knew existed.
• Learn — bring your skills & experience to the group. Other members will have a solution for you.
• Refer — once you are true colleagues, it's easy to refer business to one another.
• Unbelievable — masterminds infinitely impact your morale, business and career.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

We think our business/career security comes from making a lot of money, having a big title, or a checklist of major clients, but we're wrong. The greatest source of our security comes from close relationships with trusted friends.

To learn more about masterminds and how they can affect your business/career — let's talk.

I Found Out I Have PMR*.

I came upon a great quote from the Dalai Lama —  "There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do, and mostly live."

How often do we feel disappointed/guilty about yesterday and anxious/fearful about tomorrow? Probably a lot.

How do we live in 'today' increments? How do we focus on what needs to happen right now without letting the past and future hold us back?

I use a simple acronym - P M R:

P = Plan — Take 5 minutes to Plan your day. Get real, assess exactly what needs to get accomplished, and write it down. Just the stuff that needs to be done today. Add time increments to estimate how long each will take, prioritize each one, and then plug them into your day calendar.

M = Meditate — Take 5 minutes to Meditate. Clean the cobwebs! Sit back, close your eyes, and clear your thoughts. Start by taking a few deep breaths then use the exhalation to sigh and release the tension. Do it again. And again. I promise you will feel better and energized.

R = Reflect — Take 5 minutes to Reflect on all the good things in your life. Gratitude is an important part of staying in the present. We tend to focus and think of all the bad things, worry, forget, and then start the whole process again. Try to focus on the positive this time — your accomplishments, your family, etc.

Take the rest of the time and get stuff done! Don't be afraid of diving in and accomplishing your action items — in fact, you will feel invigorated. Trust me!

*Just found out there is a disease with the same acronym (there always is) - I do not have it nor am I at all using the acronym lightly.

The 5 Behaviors Of Successful People.

When I start with clients who are in-transition, we meet at my office in Stamford and I cover the Five Behaviors Of Successful People. I do this to help them focus, get out of a mental 'rut', and move forward with enthusiasm, passion, and determination.

In retrospect, I actually cover these five areas with all of my clients, but I do it differently — I'm a bit more subtle:

TRACK & PLAN You need to know where you've been, where you are, and where you're going at ALL TIMES. This means tracking your time (schedule) minute by minute and accounting for all of your time and energy. You should be sticking to a plan, taking discrete steps each day, and taking it to its natural conclusion.

FAIL: If you're just winging your calendar or making large swaths of time blocks, you're not tracking effectively. If you don't have a plan (try setting up 90-day plans — they're manageable), you will fail.

BE BOLD One of the original taglines for my coaching practice was "Be Bold In Life". I still love it because it embodies the swashbuckler spirit that we all need to be successful in business. You need to take chances, uncover opportunities, and most of all, you need to be BOLD in your thinking.

FAIL: Just keep saying "I can't do that!". Or constantly ask for permission to do things instead of just doing them. Or not doing them because you know they're going to fail.

THINK & ACT This is the cornerstone of my coaching philosophy — figure out what needs to be done and DO IT. Don't second guess yourself and get caught up in analysis-paralysis. Look at your options, make a decision, and take action. Worst case, if your wrong, step back, reassess, and take action.

FAIL: Procrastinate, contemplate forever and try to come up with every permutation. Push for perfection.

CHALLENGE Life is a series of challenges you must overcome to keep moving and stay happy. Work, relationships, kids, etc. are all made up of small and large challenges that we must deal with. Here's the secret — embrace each challenge with enthusiasm and vigor or you will go through life with a glass half-empty existence.

FAIL: Moan, complain, and run away from your problems. The faster you come up with a plan and deal with your challenge, the faster you will get on with your life.

OPEN UP You can spend your life closed down and not interacting with anyone or you can open your heart to the world and make a lot of new friends. Try to make a new friend every day — an acquaintance, a connection — take an avid interest in your fellow man. Most of all — SMILE!!!

FAIL: Stay home, watch TV, cocoon, close your office door, keep your head down and let your voicemail/email take over all of your connections. Oh yes — forget to smile.

It's Not Too Late To Turn Things Around.

One of my clients had a grand opening this weekend — and I made it a point to be there to help out with the crowds. It's a state-of-the-art fitness complex — the first of it's kind in Oxford — and by the size of the reception, it's going to be a huge success. As a small present, I designed and printed a banner of Greg Plitt with one of his favorite quotes:

"There are two types of pain, the one that breaks you and the one that changes you. In the gym, pain is felt as a result of weakness leaving the body. Physical pain is the glue of transformation and the pain of progress. The more you endure the harder it gets to accept the thought of failure."

What a great quote. I read it every time I'm in his studio and he pushes me past my physical limits (ouch). What happens if we apply this quote to our business/career?

"There are two types of challenges, the ones that break you and the ones that change you."

How often are you really broken down? Of course, we lose our job, we lose major clients, get yelled at by our boss or we might make a terrible decision that cost us lots of money.

But are you really 'broken' — or just powered-down for the time being?

"In business, loss is felt as a result of weakness leaving the body."

Too often, we tend to hang onto loss — we dwell on it — we make it a scar that we feel everyday. It keeps us from taking additional chances and bold decisions. We get gun-shy — we are afraid of making the same mistake again.

Will you REALLY make the same mistake again? Or are you coming up with excuses not to try something new that will take you out of your comfort zone?

"Business/Career loss is the glue of transformation and the pain of progress."

The bedrock of any business/career is TRANSFORMATION. You can't stand still — you have to innovate constantly to stay ahead of the competition. If you don't — you're taken off the main endcap shelf and tossed in the bargain bin.

"The more you endure the harder it gets to accept the thought of failure."

As you know, I regularly listen to 'How I Built This' — an NPR podcast where they interview successful business owners and how they got there. What's the one consistent theme I hear in every interview? FAILURE - LOSS - TRYING AGAIN.

If you grow a thicker skin when exposed to failure — it's easier to take bolder chances. Try it — it's fun.

Building Up From The Ashes.

What would you do if your website burnt down? Not literally, but if some catastrophic purge happened and you lost your entire website — all the copy, images, blog posts, testimonials — everything? You'd have to start FRESH. From the beginning. It would be a lot of work — but you'd get it done. And guess what — it would be better. Fresher. Newer. And it would probably bring in more clients.

Sometimes our career or business tends to get clogged up like an old set of drain pipes. Early on, water flowed through them perfectly — but as time wore on, they got gummed up with tired old slogans, artwork, and promotions.

Why? Because we don't see outside of our bubble.

• "It's good enough."
• "It says what I want it to say — even though I wrote it years ago."
• "That old business card still works — don't change it."
• "Everyone loves my holiday cards — I send the same one every year."
• "I have the perfect sales close — it works every time!"

FACT: If you don't change — you might go out of business or lose your job.

We have to tear down to rebuild. To start anew on a firmer foundation — to reach new customers and clients. To boldly go where no one has gone before.

Spring/Summer is here and it's time to clean house:

• Maybe a new logo is in order. A new font, shape, graphic might add energy to catch people's eyes.
• New coloration for your branding/signage. The wrong color/shade can date your company so quickly.
• A more responsive and attractive website that says less and does more. People don't have time to read pages of copy. Less is more - get right to the point and tell them what they need to know.
• Develop a new filing system for your desk. Make yourself more efficient and clear the decks.
• Clean your systems. Clean/replace your laptop, phone, etc.
• A new wardrobe, hairstyle, glasses, body. Stand back and be critical — maybe that hairstyle from the 80's isn't working anymore (I don't have that issue).

Every company and executive needs to update their image. If you don't, first impressions might turn potential clients and opportunities in the opposite direction. Yikes!

Are You In Group 'A' or 'B'?

I run into so many people who complain how they can't find a job, or get a promotion, or find new, great clients (Group 'A'). I also run into people who find a job quickly, get that promotion, and regularly find great clients (Group 'B').

What is the difference between Groups 'A' & 'B'? 

• Group 'A' has developed the most perfectly formed excuse structure holding them back from success.
• Group 'B' fights their big fears every day, dismisses the weak ones, and gets shit done.

What do they do?

• Group 'A' blames their weaknesses, the market, their age, other people, and how customers demand so much more. They moan about their bad luck, how no one wants them, and how other forces are impacting their success.
• Group 'B' doesn't play that game. There is no time for blaming. They figure out what needs to be done and they do it. They realize it's going to be hard, they will be tested, and they will have to push themselves harder than ever before.

What happens in the end?

• Group 'A' plays the same broken record every day and suddenly find that half of 2017 has passed them by. They're still without a job, with no promotional opportunities (and their current position on the chopping block), and clients disappearing at an alarming rate.
• Group 'B' gets the interview and offer. They get the promotion and raise they asked about. They go after and get even bigger clients - bigger than they ever dreamed.

Which group are you currently in? What group do you want to be in?

Extra Credit . . . How To Be In Group 'B':

• Stop looking and finding excuses for your situation. You're a smart boy/girl — you know exactly what the problem is. Get out there and take action.
• Be Bold In Life - Start taking chances — not wild-ass ones, think about your next steps and then move!
• Ask for forgiveness, not permission — this is my mantra — reach out to that unreachable person, ask for that raise, go after that affluent client.
• Do It NOW - Don't wait for 'the right time'. There's no time like the present. "Action expresses priorities." - Gandhi
• Stop procrastinating because you're 'afraid'. This is a No Whining Zone — no one is going to change your diaper.

Face Your Fears.

“The best things in life are on the other side of your maximum fear.” – Will Smith

 Every so often, an incredible video comes along and changes the way you see your life. This is one of those videos.