I Went To A Funeral Yesterday.

I published this article back in 2012, but it still has meaning today, especially during this holiday season - Rich

When was the last time you had a powerful experience? Yesterday, my sister-in-law's mom passed away - I knew her as Ditty, she was 97, and she lived a full life. She was a wonderful lady, and I was lucky to know her.

Many things happened to me during the church service, especially at the grave site and at the restaurant get-together afterward.

The Service

We all go to funerals. They are things we have to do for family members and friends. We endure them and then move on. Not this funeral.

As a deacon at my own church, I was overwhelmed by the powerful homily and eulogy. First of all, I rarely get to experience a service in a Catholic church — it was very moving. Father Richard Futie (Ditty's cousin) guided everyone through a myriad of emotions — praise, remembrance, sorrow, humor, and most of all, love.

His role was the hardest of all — to help each of us handle our grief and help us move on in life. In my opinion, it's one of the hardest 'speaking' jobs anyone could ever tackle.

The Eulogy was given by a family friend and a fellow coach (which I surprisingly found out later!) — Danny Martin. He brought singing, stories, love, and remembrance to the part of the service. He made us remember that Ditty experienced all the events of the 20th and 21st centuries — from World War I to the iPad. It was wonderful.

In addition, Father Futie began the wake (the previous night before) by explaining what a wake really is and where the name 'wake' is derived. I originally thought it would be a 'yawner' — but Father Futie caught my attention, made me sit up, and relive this wonderful woman's life.

The Grave Site

I've gone through the death of both parents, and I can tell you the grave site is the hardest of all for everyone. It's the final goodbye. I held it together through the wake and funeral service, but when I had to say goodbye to each of my parents, I was a wreck.

Father Futie again made the entire service a deeply religious experience, yet he also ensured that it was short and focused. Everyone was moved, and it was a fitting experience to all place flowers on the casket.

The Get-Together

At the restaurant afterward, family and friends all ate great food and spoke lovingly about Ditty. Danny again regaled us with his entire song, and family and friends stood up to speak about how Ditty impacted each of their lives. We laughed, we sang, and we all healed one another.

When you run into unexpected experiences which change your life — grab and hold onto them tightly. They are experiences that change you for the better and make you stronger.

Be A Better Leader - 20 Leadership Hacks For Managers.

I managed large teams for over 15 years in corporate and have been coaching C-Level clients for 15 more. During this time, I've probably run into every scenario a manager can experience. 

​Here are my top 20 hacks to make you a better leader (in no special order): 

1. Motivate people, don't command them. It's a lot harder, but you will like the results a lot more. Find the fuel that energizes them.

2. Identify your key employees and reward them so they know they're valued. Don't worry about losing poor talent.

3. Translate upper management's vague directives into things your team can understand and take action on.

4. Never bullshit your staff. If something requires secrecy for the good of the company, just be clear on 'I cannot discuss that’.

5. When things go well, don't tout yourself to upper management, tout your team. You'll get the credit as well.

6. Don't worry about losing poor talent. In addition, the best thing you can do for your best people is to get rid of the worst people.

7. Elevate the individual and team as a whole when someone does great work. Let them take the limelight.

8. When someone on my team screws up, be the responsible "buck stops here" person as the manager. Act as the umbrella to ensure the wrath of senior management does not rain down from above, and it's your responsibility to discipline them after you catch shit from on high. In addition to that, any discipline effort should be an opportunity to learn from mistakes. Help them to help themselves when they need to recover from a mistake.

9. Don’t be their friend. It's not worth it. You are no longer "One of the guys/girls" You can have fun, don't be a jerk, but you will never be one of them again. Don't try to be. Be cool, but not that cool, otherwise you will get walked on.

10. The more you make your employees feel like they're working with you, and not for you, the smoother the sailing. That being said, make sure boundaries are clear.

11. Always remain calm. The way you react to and handle situations will have a profound and lasting effect on your staff.

​12. Criticize in private, praise in public. Praise often, punish seldom.

​13. Figure out the intricacies of discipline and HR at your organization.Any serious disciplinary actions need to be absolutely by-the-book. Get help and a buddy in HR.

​14. Learn to listen. Especially to the new hires. And the quiet ones.

​15. Be loyal to your employees and they will be 10X loyal right back.

​16. Learn to delegate. It creates frustration in the short term, but saves you huge amounts of time and makes people feel more important in the long term.

​17. Create an environment that people want to work in. I find people work harder and are more motivated if they're happy. Don't micromanage, treat people with respect, and create a sense of joining a team rather than a top-down approach.

18. Always be fair. Everyone talks to each other and compares the slightest things whether you like it or not. If you have favorites or treat someone differently, eventually people will find out. This will definitely effect how they see you.

​19. Create an open door policy. My favorite policy is that I never mind when people ask questions about the situation or what they need to do. I'd rather someone mess up rather than doing noting. Of course, I'd rather someone ask me questions so they can figure out how to do things on their own, effectively, and efficiently too. Similarly, this also helps with building respect, creating a sense of team, and having more motivated and happy people.

​20. MOST IMPORTANT: Take care of your people and they'll take care of you. 

Be Like Jack LaLanne.

I grew up with Jack LaLanne. I used to watch him, his wife Elaine (yes, Elaine LaLanne), and his German shepherd Happy every morning on TV. Jack taught me a lot of things about life — especially to stay positive all the time.

Why be like Jack? You might know him from his juicer — but he was so much more.

1. Make a bold change.

At 15, he was a wreck — sickly, skinny, and eating all the wrong foods. He realized it was a dead-end and radically changed his diet, behavior, and focus. Where can you make a bold change in your life?

2. Break the mold.

Up until Jack LaLanne, gyms were for men who wanted to box or wrestle. Jack opened the prototype for the fitness spas to come — a gym, juice bar, and health food store. What antiquated molds need breaking?

3. Keep true to your vision (and yourself).

Jack said, “People thought I was a charlatan and a nut. The doctors were against me — they said that working out with weights would give people heart attacks and they would lose their sex drive.” Never ask permission - get out and do it.

4. Think BIG.

Jack then took his idea national — “The Jack LaLanne Show” made its debut in 1951 as a local program in the San Francisco area, then went nationwide on daytime television in 1959. Pick a big dream and take one step closer to it today.

5. Speak to your audience — all the time.

“My show was so personal, I made it feel like you and I were the only ones there. And I’d say: ‘Boys and girls, come here. Uncle Jack wants to tell you something. You go get Mother or Daddy, Grandmother, Grandfather, whoever is in the house. You go get them, and you make sure they exercise with me.’ ” Learn how to better communicate to key people.

6. Keep it simple.

Most of his exercises on TV were done with a chair or broomstick. Don’t over-complexify your life - simplify!

7. Keep fresh with new ideas and offerings.

He invented the forerunners of modern exercise machines like leg extension and pulley devices. He marketed a Power Juicer to blend raw vegetables and fruits and a Glamour Stretcher cord, and he sold exercise videos and fitness books. When was the last time you read a good book?

8. Know when to get out.

Expanding on his television popularity, he opened dozens of fitness studios under his name, later licensing them to Bally. If it isn’t working for you - run away.

9. Be a showoff.

At 60 he swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman’s Wharf handcuffed, shackled, and towing a 1,000-pound boat. At 70, handcuffed and shackled again, he towed 70 boats, carrying a total of 70 people, a mile and a half through Long Beach Harbor. Be assertive in all that you do.

10. Walk the talk.

He ate two meals a day and shunned snacks. Breakfast, following his morning workout, usually included several hard-boiled egg whites, a cup of broth, oatmeal with soy milk, and seasonal fruit. For dinner,  a salad with raw vegetables and egg whites along with fish — often salmon — and a mixture of red and white wine. He never drank coffee. Be authentic to everyone you meet.

11. Stay positive — all the time.

He brimmed with optimism and restated a host of aphorisms for an active and fit life. “I can’t die,” he most famously liked to say. “It would ruin my image.” SMILE!

Jack passed away 10 years ago at the ripe old age of 96. He brought a lot of energy, motivation, and happiness to millions of people. I hope someday, I can do that too.

Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

I've just finished one of the most powerful books I've read this year. It's by a wonderful woman named Bronnie Ware, and it focuses in on the actual voiced regrets of people she encountered when they were dying. Powerful stuff - go and pick up the book!

Here's a small excerpt:

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Your Smile Is Your Logo.

“Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card, how you leave others feeling after an experience with you becomes your trademark.” — Jay Danzie

Too often, we tend to hide our real connecting abilities with brochures, pamphlets, websites, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and a myriad of other distractions. Not that they are BAD per se, but they sometimes get in the way of what REALLY counts.

SMILE: 
When you first meet someone, do you project a REAL smile? 

Are you genuinely happy to meet them? Or are you faking it? Step back and understand WHY you might not be fully engaged in making a new friend. Are you insecure? Are you tired? Are you distracted? The more present you are when connecting with people, the more successful you'll be in life because you are projecting true authenticity. You’re there to make a new friend.

PERSONALITY: 
How can you kick up your personality? 

Most people think they can't — the personality they have is the one they're always going to have. That's bunk. You can change your personality instantly by kicking up your enthusiasm, engage your body language, pump up your patter — talk faster, a bit more forceful, change the intonation frequently. Act like you are excited to meet them and learn all about them. Make connecting stick.

MAKE THEM FEEL GOOD: 
Take a genuine interest in the other person you're connecting with.

Ask powerful questions, "What new things are you doing this year? How are they turning out?" Ask lots of questions and really try to understand who they are, what they do, and how you can help them. Follow up with my favorite three-word phrase: “Tell me more!"

"The more goodwill you spread out into the world, the more it will circle around and come right back to you.” — Rich Gee

To Succeed, You Have To Hustle.

Are You A Pilot Or Passenger In Your Career?

If you hit a crisis or something goes wrong, it's someone else's fault. We are the victim. 

That isn't the case. Stop being the victim. Start taking control of your life and career. Turn off your career ‘cruise control’ and direct your life.

CHALLENGE #1:
I want you to do one thing today that scares you.

Pick up that phone right now and make that call you’ve been procrastinating on. Check out that company you've always dreamed to work for. Arrive at work extra-early and get more done in one day than you've ever done before. Push yourself farther and scare yourself in the process. You'll thank me.

If you're doing it the same way other people are doing it, you're doing it wrong. That’s usually the ‘safe’ or 'old’ way of doing it.

Be brave and do something completely different. Be creative and take a risk — reach out to people and try something new. Don't care about what other people think — that will just hold you back. Ask for forgiveness, not permission.

CHALLENGE #2:
Take a moment and think of one simple, crazy change you can make.

Design a new business card, reach out to that senior VP or business owner who is doing cool stuff that amazes you. Ask them to lunch. Test a new way of running your project — put it on an express train and beat that deadline.

I hate the word inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work. Don't wait for that bolt of lightning to hit your brain. Do it NOW.

The best ideas come from doing and working the process. It comes out of actually accomplishing the work. It’s time to get your hands really dirty.

CHALLENGE #3:
Stop waiting for that 'inspirational' idea to jump out and land on a blank sheet of paper.

If it hasn’t happen yet, it’s never going to happen. Dig into work this week and see where you can streamline a process, delegate a lame task, or discard an outmoded activity. Get rid of them.

Work smarter, not harder. You will suddenly see new ways of doing things better, stronger, faster (like the Six-Million Dollar Man). Stop meandering along doing the same old thing the same old way.

Hustle this week. You'll thank me.

Do The Impossible — The Country Club Technique.

Successful businesses and careers are a lot about making tough things happen.

We get caught up in the inertia of our fears and are afraid of making a mistake. One exercise we use with our clients centers around a 'country club event'. Here's the scenario . . . you are in front of a country club and we've charged you with the task of getting into their 'event' with no invitation, no money, nothing.

Now you may ask, like all of our clients do, how can I do this? And we say - "I don't care. Just figure it out and MAKE IT HAPPEN." We then let the client come up with a number of scenarios how they could talk their way into that event successfully.

• "Maybe I sneak in the side door and go through the kitchen."

• "I can make friends with people in the parking lot and go into the party with them."

• "I can inquire at the lobby about membership in the club and get in that way."

• "I can paraglide from a remote mountain and land on the golf course and sneak in wearing a tux."

You get the idea. This technique primes your brain to think of alternatives without your fears canceling them out. It gives you a platform to then substitute your situation and make assertive decisions and subsequent actions.

Career and business changes produce a similar situation — "I don't know where to begin." or "I don't know who to talk to." or "What happens if it goes wrong?" are frequent responses.

What we then say is: "I don't care. Just figure it out and MAKE IT HAPPEN." We then brainstorm scenarios on how to meet that CEO or this important person and then MAKE IT HAPPEN. Action sometimes trumps deep thought (and worry).

The next time you run into an obstacle, step back and say "Figure this out and MAKE IT HAPPEN." You'll find yourself taking action before the fear and complacency begin to move in and you get that much closer to changing your career.

Nike was right with "Just Do It".

Be A Time Management God.

Over the past few weeks, I've been aggregating many time management tips I share with my clients to get more done in the limited amount of time they have.

It's a mix of managing your time more effectively and dealing with that old devil — procrastination. By the way, if you feel you're the worst offender in the world, get in line. We ALL suffer from these ailments:

• Time management is really prioritizing your tasks. If you really want to get something done, block time for each task in your calendar (yes, keeping an accurate calendar is critical). Ensure you add buffer time (prep work, travel time, etc.) or your calendar will fail miserably.

• You will always find an excuse to procrastinate. Procrastination has its own in-built solution, usually involving panic and adrenaline (read this).

• Take frequent, short breaks. Falling back to regroup can help many people recharge and regain focus when things start getting fuzzy or monotonous. Go for a walk, stretch, get a coffee — move away for a few minutes and then come back to it.

• "Perfect is the enemy of good." I develop a good balance of quality and time — I schedule a strict deadline and work to it. The result won't be perfect, but it will be close to perfect every time. My articles take 60 minutes to write — they’re not Shakespeare, but thousands of people read them and let me know how many of my crazy ideas have changed their lives.

• Work for 50 minutes out of every hour. The Pomodoro technique works pretty well for me and many of my clients.

• Learn what your productivity kryptonite is. For some it's surfing, coworkers, surfing, clients, phone calls, surfing — download an app if you don’t have the willpower. There are a bunch of plugins/apps you can download to block yourself from distracting websites: StayFocusd (Chrome plugin) or SelfControl (Mac program).

• Always have a notepad handy. Write down anything/everything you may think you will forget in short form. You can then transfer it to your calendar.

• Plan out each tasks into smaller, more achievable steps. Keep your to-do lists short — meaning nothing more than 2 or 3 steps. I've found that if I follow this, there's a better chance of completing them and less chance of becoming overwhelmed and giving up.

• Go to a public place where we feel we might be judged if we are not doing work. It might be the public library, Starbucks, central conference room or the company cafeteria.

• Make a schedule of what you will do in one day and stick to it. At first, it will be difficult to accurately estimate a solid workday — but you’ll get better at it with time. Reward yourself for achieving your goals that day — you deserve it.

• Buy this book by David Allen. I read it years ago and I felt more relaxed in the first week — it really helps you to focus on the things that really need to be done.

• Find out which hours you are at your BEST. For example, I’m a morning person so I try to do critical tasks early in the morning. Many problems arise when we try to do the hard stuff when we’re not mentally/physically ready for it.

• Eliminate elements which tend to eat your time like unnecessarily long phone calls, useless chats with people, etc. Figure out what they are and cut down doing them.

• Don't play the victim. If I get distracted by something, it isn't the fault of what/who distracted me, my cluttered-brain, whatever's making me sad, or some ADHD affliction — it's my fault. I did that. Own it and move on.

• Start each day with the proper mindset. I think the song ‘Don't Stop Believin’ by Journey describes the mindset I aim for. I listen to motivating music, podcasts, or books EVERY DAY.

• Buy AirPods. They’re a giant productivity boost for me — they allow me to focus on getting important things done and they discourage wacky interlopers.

And finally, my favorite:

I construct each weekday in such a way where the only work that needs to be accomplished is incredibly important to me — like coaching my clients. Try to put yourself in a position where what you do is what you love.

Be Direct & Ask For What You Want.

If you want something, ask for it. Pretty simple, eh? Actually, it's not. Many people run into external (and more frequently) internal obstacles.

Even though more women are affected than men, it's not just a woman's thing. Many men also run into the same obstacles when direct requests are required.

Why does it happen? Why do we shirk from being direct with a boss, colleague, or client?

1. We are afraid of coming off as whining or complaining.

2. We are afraid of a blunt response that will further deepen our insecurity.

3. We don't know what we really want.

4. You don't really believe you will receive what you are asking for (limiting beliefs).

5. You don't feel you have to ask — people should instantly realize your needs.

6. You don't know HOW to ask.

Most psychological studies prove that people are more likely to help you if you just ask in a simple and direct fashion. A smile doesn't hurt either. Most people are nice and willing to help someone in need.

One way I help my clients overcome being direct is to do "The Starbucks Challenge". I ask them to go to their local Starbucks, find the most expensive drink on the menu, order it, and then ask for a discount. It's amazing most people will build up a temporary anxiety complex all the way to the Starbucks location. They will run through various scenarios and their fear will mount until they ultimately ask for a discount. Of course, they will be turned down — but the realization afterward that they were acting childish makes the lesson even more powerful. Try it.

So let's tackle each one:

We are afraid of coming off as whining or complaining.

This is one of the biggies — we don't want to sound whiny or negative, so we don't really ask for what we really need. In fact, if you dance around the subject or draw out the request, YOU WILL sound whiny. Be direct, ask for what you want, and listen for the response — you will be pleasantly surprised.

We are afraid of a blunt response that will further deepen our insecurity.

Yes, you might receive that 'NO' infrequently. Conversely, you will frequently receive an unexpected 'YES'. In addition, the NO will not be blunt and yelled at you by your boss. Most of the time it will be couched comfortably in "let me think about it" or "not now", rather than a hurtful NO. We are so afraid of NO's (probably from childhood) that we are afraid of being direct.

We don't know what we really want.

A lot of people fall into this category. When something is really important, we tend to 'complexify' our need and flub our request. Successful people keep their requests super-simple and direct. Don't dance around the subject, don't parry and feint with your verbiage — just ask. One way to do this is to write down exactly what you need, hone the message, and then ask.

You don't really believe you will receive what you are asking for (limiting beliefs).

I run into this all the time with clients who want a promotion/raise or business owners who need to increase their fees. Many people have self-imposed, limiting beliefs which directly impact their ability to move up the corporate or business ladder. In the end, they are deceiving themselves — I actually had one client double their fee and their patients happily paid it. You just have to ask. Practice makes perfect — try to push yourself to ask for simpler things from strangers — to look at their newspaper, borrow their cellphone, etc. You will find they will happily share and you will build your confidence.

You don't feel you have to ask — people should instantly realize your needs.

This also circles around raises and promotions. A lot of people think they all have a guardian angel protecting them at work who will accurately track their progress and reward them when it's time. That's BS. Even the best managers forget to track their best performers and are always reticent to provide increases. You have to ask for them — because the only person caring about your needs is YOU.

You don't know HOW to ask.

I left the best one for last. There are a lot of people who just don't know how to get what they need because they've never done it. From the reasons above, this is how you do it — write exactly what you want down on paper, simply it, practice your request, find the best time to catch the person your asking, be direct and to the point, and then shut up. Let them respond — don't add anything else by prevaricating.

You will either receive a YES or a NO. It's that simple.

Top 10 Clear Signs It's Time To Quit Your Job.

Here's my Top 10 (in no real order of importance) list why you should probably quit your current position and move on:

1. You start looking forward to the weekend on Wednesday (or even worse, Monday). This is the typical, "I can't stand my job and I love my weekends behavior". Face it, you are going to spend a LOT more time at work during the week — start enjoying that environment too. If you don't like what you do, your boss, the people, the commute, etc. — change it.

2. Sunday night is the loneliest time of the week because you have work the next day. If you hate going to work where it begins to affect your weekends, it's time to start looking for greener pastures.

3. You find yourself mired in mundane tasks at work - you're not working on exciting and challenging projects. It happens to the best of us — sometimes we need a career 'reset' button to help us re-focus on what's really important and where we want to take our career.

4. Everything is becoming SOS - same old stuff - day in, day out repetition. If you're just wrapping the same old chocolates every day — it's time to go.

5. You never ask for guidance or advice anymore from your boss. You've grown out of your role. This is a telling sign — you've outgrown your manager. They don't have anything else to teach you — and to be successful, you have to keep learning.

6. Everyone around you is as unmotivated and depressed as you are. Oh-Oh — either management is not doing their job or the company is ailing. Time to look for healthier stock.

7. Your superiors begin to take long lunches and start to leave the company. They know something you don't know. That's a clear sign you're about to be acquired, broken into small chunks, or obliterated into the atmosphere. Start planning your exit strategy.

8. Sales are down, the company hasn't rolled out anything new in the marketplace for a long time, and your competitors are hitting new heights. Things might turn around, but then, they might not. It's up to you if you have the time, temerity and patience to wait.

9. You can't get anything accomplished, projects are never approved (or cancelled mid-term), or your division is distracted by crazy hail-mary launches that never work. That is one of the most frustrating parts of corporate work — the lost years — the lost projects — and eventually, the lost people. If you find you're giving 150% to all of your work and for some reason, they're cancelled, postponed, or put on the shelf, it's time to step back and assess. Not only does it suck, but it cuts right to the bone of any performing professional to see your blood, sweat and tears wiped away in a matter of minutes. Time to go.

10. Things don't feel right - your salary has been stagnant for years, bonuses are anemic, and you find yourself surfing a lot on the web. Any one of these three are a clear indicator of a bad work situation. If you get more than one, start polishing your résumé.

Extra-Credit: Upper management employs a 'consultancy firm' to help them turn the ship in the right direction - always a clear signal something's wrong.

Most consultancy firms are brought in when management is either disconnected from the business or they are unable to develop a new business solution on their own. In my opinion, these consultancies are usually a band-aid for a more severe problem — they're brought in to calm the fears of investors and show Wall Street that the company is on-track to hit their fake targets.

In any event, there will be changes. Either The Bob's (watch this scene from Office Space) will come in and assess everyone's responsibilities and/or they will make broad spectrum changes that will probably impact your progress. Time to review your options and think about leaving.

How To Get Everyone To Return Your Calls.

You’re not going to believe this, but I hate the phone. You would think as a coach and someone who runs a highly successful business, being on the phone all day would be fun, exciting, and powerful. It is for coaching — I get energized! It is for colleagues, friends, and family — we can talk for hours.

It’s when I have to either cold call or play the dreaded phone-tag. That’s when I want to throw my phone out the window. Why?

Because most people don’t return calls. And if they do, they pick a time when it’s impossible for you to answer them (I think they strategically pick these times).

Let me give you a scenario that happens to me infrequently:

I get a prospect that has either heard me speak, read my articles, or has heard from a powerful friend about how I changed their lives with my coaching.

They call me up for a complimentary session, we have it, they love it, and will get back to me within 24 hours to let me know. Then they fall off the map. I try to call them and follow up leaving voicemails, email, etc.

No response.

Then one day, I was at my sales team meeting and a close colleague of mine gave me the secret to virtually compel people to call you back. And it works like a charm.

I send a short, simply worded email and end with three choices. Here’s what I write:

Dear Ryan Reynolds,

I really enjoyed our coaching session a few weeks ago. It’s rare when someone comes to me with clear business issues and the energy to deal with them. Kudos!

Near the end of our session, you were excited about coaching with me, but you said that you had to think about it and get back to me the next day. Over the past few weeks, I’ve endeavored to reach out to you via phone and email since I am holding a March coaching spot open for you.

There must be one of three reasons why we are not connecting:

1. You are no longer interested in coaching with me.

2. I have offended you in some way during our coaching session or through my messages.

3. You’re too busy with work to get back to me.

I await your response. Regards – Rich 

Within one business day, the prospect calls me at my office, guaranteed. It happens every time.

They always start out with, “You haven’t offended me in any way — I’ve just been so busy with work lately . . .”. I always listen, agree, and in the end, they become my client.

Try it — it works!

What techniques do you employ to get people to call you back?

What's Holding You Back? You Are.

I start all workshops and coaching relationships with the discussion of Limiting Beliefs. Why? In life, we run into so many external obstacles. People, institutions, rules, regulations, and hierarchies all play major roles in our life. They get in our way, they make us stumble, we get frustrated, and we give up. They win.

The more insidious of life's obstacles are your internal obstacles. I've broken them down into manageable chunks to allow you to understand them and to hopefully assess and ameliorate each one. When I think of limiting beliefs in my life, I call them life's 'Little Stinkers'. Here they are:

What We've Learned

These are the 'hard-wired' internal obstacles that are drilled into us from an early age. 'Don't do this' and 'you can't do that' play a major part in our learning process. We might have parents, siblings, teachers, and other adults in our life telling us what is right and wrong. Not that it's a bad thing — it's important to do — but sometimes they say certain things that are seared in our personality.

Examples: "They're out of your league" "No one can get an A in that class" "You're not artistic" "You can't sing"

What We've Experienced

These are the myriad of personal experiences when we've tried to step out of our bubble and try new things. And they don't go well. We try something new once or take a big step out of our comfort zone and fail. We revert back to a safe spot and constantly repeat to ourselves that we shouldn't go there — it's a waste of time.

Examples: "We shouldn't go there" "We can't do it" "It's not in our DNA" "I'd be happier staying the same"

What We Think/Fear

This is the third level of limiting beliefs. Take what we've learned and what we've experienced, mix them together, and you end up here. These are all the limiting beliefs we have in our head and we project them all into the future. We mentally scare and hold ourselves back from learning new things, experiencing new practices, and meeting new people.

Examples: "If I do it, I will fail" "This will be a futile exercise" "They won't like me" "They will laugh at me" "I will lose a lot of money"

What We Dodge

This is the lazy limiting belief. We get stuck or complacent in our limiting belief world and feel this is all I need to do. We take the other three limiting beliefs and let our procrastination, laziness, and distractions kick in to hold us back.

Examples: "This has worked all my life" "It's good enough" "My job is fine" (I hate the word fine) "I don't have the time"

Conclusion

If you let these limiting beliefs win, you will NEVER get the opportunity to change your life, your situation, your work, your abilities, your friendships, and possibly increase your happiness. I find if you just stay static in your life and career, you won't be happy for long. So start looking in the mirror and start eliminating those internal obstacles!

Don't Small Talk, Have Courageous Conversations.

Why do people hate networking events? Usually it's full of people who are all talking small. "How's business?" " There's a lot of people here." "How's the food?" "That's a great tie."

Shoot me now. We all hate these events - executives, vendors, and business owners alike. Unfortunately, we've been told that we have to go to them to grow our business. And they're right.

You have to regularly break out of your bubble and meet new people. Interact and market your product/service to get traction.

But how many events have you attended early in the morning or late into the evening that just sucked? Tons.

I have a technique to make them Powerful, Engaging, & Fun. Here are some of the things I do to dump the small talk and have courageous conversations:

1. Take An Avid Interest In The Person You're Speaking To. 

Most of the time, people are only thinking of themselves. In fact, many people closely listen to what you're saying only to anticipate a pause so they can talk.

Take the time to LISTEN to what the other person is saying and frequently add energizing sounds and body language to keep them going.

Paraphrase what they just said and insert a follow-up question to dig deeper into what they are commenting on.

2. Act Like A Host.

What do hosts do? They make their guests feel comfortable, at home, start fun conversations, and selflessly connect people together to build a strong networking circle of professionals.

What's wrong with acting like a host (even if you aren't the host) and helping your fellow attendees accomplish all of these goals?

I love to walk up to a group and ask everyone how they like the wine/food/room — they always positively comment and immediately invite me into their conversation. Try it.

3. Talk About Scary Subjects.

Instead of the weather, think of assertive, strong questions to get people out of their shell. Some I've used:

"So, what's your big project for 2017? How's it going so far?" "What new things are you trying to launch?" "Favorite super-power: Flying or X-Ray Vision?" (I love this one - ask me how it works) "Did you hire anyone new this year? What was the one quality that shined for you?" "What client do you absolutely despise? Why? Why don't you fire them?" "What's the scariest thing you've done in the past few years?"

Now understand, some of these work with new acquaintances — some will only work with friends or when you've conversed for a certain amount of time.

4. Open Up.

Once you've made an initial connection, try to open up and talk about serious topics. Once you get to know the, let them know that you just lost a client or that the product you just launched isn't doing that great (as an example). Being honest and authentic is so much better than fake and boring.

5. It Not All About YOU.

Don't go there only looking for business. In fact, frame your perspective around helping others. "I am going to try to connect everyone I meet to someone I know to help them build their business/career."

Givers Gain — make sure to try to help everyone (okay - not everyone - there are some lost causes in every bunch).

If you try just one of these — you will transform your typical, boring networking event into an exciting and memorable soirée. Be Courageous!

The Three Most Important Words For 2019.

Already hitting small obstacles in 2019? You started out so well and now, for some reason, you seem to be hitting the same wall that you always encounter when you try to make an upward move in your career.

Let’s talk "VCP". It's an old BNI acronym for the words: VISIBILITY & CREDIBILITY = PROFITABILITY. Simply, if you are more visible to the people that matter, you then have an opportunity to show your credibility. And if you succeed in convincing them about your credibility, you then access profitability, or the ability to grow your business.

This simple acronym can easily be applied to executives in corporate or business owners trying to grow their business. We get caught in our career — DOING our business — but forgetting to GROW our business. We forget the simplicity of VCP. For example:

VISIBILITY — When was the last time you stepped out and networked aggressively outside of your contact sphere?

If you're an executive:

• When was the last time you went to lunch with a key player outside of your group? Do you do it every week? You should.

• When did you reach out to your peers in your industry (outside of your company) to have lunch?

• When did you reach out to leaders in your community (not industry) to have coffee/lunch?

• When was the last time you spoke at an industry meeting? Went to an industry meeting?

If you own a business:

• Get out and meet people. Your office neighbors, colleagues in your industry.

• Join a networking group. Make it a regular event.

• Use signage, brochures, blog, guest speak at client events. Be a billboard for your business.

CREDIBILITY — 

• Do what you say you're going to do. This is a major dysfunction of many executives and businesses. They say YES to too many things, they over-promise (people pleasers) and under-deliver.

• Over-Deliver. Always add something special and extra to every client deliverable. Surprise them!

• Ask past clients and managers to talk you up (i.e., on LinkedIn recommendations).

• Build up a history of knocking it out of the park. Be assertive, be bold!

If you start with VISIBILITY and add CREDIBILITY, you will quickly encounter PROFITABILITY.

• Businesses will begin to get more clients, better clients, bigger clients.

• Executives will begin to get the better projects, more exposure, promotions and more money.

VISIBILITY & CREDIBILITY = PROFITABILITY. Make it Happen in 2019!

If 2019 Was The Best Year Of Your Life, What Would Have To Happen?

Take a moment and imagine it's December 31, 2019. You're sitting back in your comfy leather chair, reading your favorite book, by the fireplace sipping hot chocolate. MMMMM. Looking back over the past 365 days — you realize you had a great year. An amazing, incredible, unbelievable year.

Step One — What would make it an amazing year professionally? A promotion/raise? A huge uptick in business/clients? A new job? What would make it an amazing year personally? Travel to exotic lands? More time with the family? More time with friends? Trying out a new pastime or hobby?

I want you to take a piece of paper and write down your amazing year. What would happen? It doesn't have to be a literary classic — just use bullet points. Your focus should be on speed — get your thoughts down on paper ASAP. Then hone it down to a single mission sentence. "I will be SVP of Operations and increase my salary by 15%" or "I will launch a new line of products and increase my client base by 20%". Maybe "I will learn the piano and take my family to Hawaii."

Step Two — What do you need to do to get there? What steps do you need to take? What actions/activities/tasks? Who can help you? Map out each step you need to take to reach your vision. If you're especially motivated, add timing and deadlines to each task. This isn't the hard/scary part — you know how to get there.

Here's the scary part — to realize 'Your Best Year Ever', you will have to really push yourself. You will have to build your confidence up and combat procrastination and fear. You will be doing things you've never done before, meet people you've never believed you'd meet, and reach new heights never before imagined. You will have to work harder and smarter to realize your dream.

To do this you need Goals (step 1) and a Roadmap (step 2). But you have to keep your eye on the prize to help you modify your behaviors and talents to deliver 'Your Best Year Ever'. Put your goal on a Post-It note and post it on your mirror to see every morning. Reinforcement is key when it comes to goals — it needs to stare you in the face every day.

This isn't rocket science. Many years ago, when Elon Musk sold Zip2, X.com and PayPal, his vision was to change the world and humanity. His goals included reducing global warming through sustainable energy production and consumption, reducing the "risk of human extinction" by "making life multiplanetary" by setting up a human colony on Mars. I think he's on his way with Solar City, Tesla, and SpaceX.

You can do it too. I know you can. Oh yes, by the way, Happy New Year!

I'm So Busy!

Lately, I run into many people who constantly have the same refrain:

“I’m so busy!” or “It's crazy here!” or “I never have the time.” Or my favorite, “I’m so stressed!”

I hate to be critical (as a coach, it’s my job) - but it tells me a lot about you, your personality, and your work habits:

1. You don’t have control of your time or schedule.

People who run around like a chicken without its head tend not to instill confidence with their superiors, peers, team, or customers. What you are telegraphing is that you don’t have control of your schedule and activities. That tells me you’re spending disproportionate blocks of time on the wrong items (not urgent or important) and rushing through areas that are urgent and important.

2. You like to complain and invite people to your pity party.

I hate people like you. Like old people who complain constantly about their maladies, I (and all the people around you) really don’t care about your simple-to-solve issues. Stop using these excuses to complain about things that are happening TO you. Start taking responsibility and change your life by paying more attention to your schedule and priorititizing your activities.

3. You have bad work habits and don’t know how to streamline, delegate or retire duities.

And you’re never going to get a promotion. Too often, when my staff kept complaining about their duties, it told me that they aren’t frequently looking at their workload and streamlining tasks, delegating to their staff (or using technology), or the easiest, stop doing unimportant or lower-echelon activities.

Normally, I have tips after each area to help you stop doing bad things and start doing good things. This week I have one piece of advice: “Stop it.”

That’s it. Try to control you bad behaviors — stop complaining, start focusing on the urgent and important, and start streamlining/delegating/retiring secondary duties.

IF YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE — sign up for a free coaching session with Rich.

The 3 Pillars Of Success.

Just got back from a workshop in NYC for a large group of executives (145+ attendees). They enjoyed my talk (rating me 4.83 out of a possible 5.0 on my evaluation form), but they REALLY enjoyed the Q&A portion at the end. I thought I'd share the best question and my answer:

"How do we keep moving forward and not get caught up in the day-to-day malaise of emails and meetings?"

I said, "This might sound super-simple and you might know it, but there's a great way to look at each day and measure how you moved the big ball forward. I call it the three business 'pillars of success'."

ACTION

First, you have to take action — any action, to move FORWARD. Most people are scared to make a decision, pick a direction, or commit to a plan. They get caught in analysis-paralysis and get stuck over analyzing the problem/challenge and not moving forward. Sometimes they are afraid of making the wrong decision or fearful of commitment to a strategy that rubs against the corporate grain.

Solution: Just do it. Pull the trigger. Any action (even the wrong one) is better than no action. Especially if you are ready to go but are ambivalent that you might have forgotten something. Pick up the saw and start sawing.

If you're afraid of screwing up - don't worry. Making a decision and taking action usually isn't a death sentence. You can always stop, correct, and re-engage. Remember — this is the hardest part — pull the trigger and start the process.

PERFORMANCE

Once you take action, you need to push forward and see it through. Don't take a half-step and put your toe in the water — dive in. Push yourself to keep the momentum going. One single action just won't do it — you need to follow it up with consistent and powerful performance to ensure success.

Solution: Make a plan. Segment out all of your activities, tasks, and steps ahead of time. Once you see the big picture and all the discrete elements, it will make whatever you do that much easier and less stressful (and scary).

There will be a bump somewhere in the middle (usually a person) — something or someone to set you off your game. If it happens, expect it, and move around it ASAP to ensure that it doesn't disrupt all of your momentum.

RESULTS

Most people forget about this one. You have to deliver results to produce a successful project, product, or initiative. These are tangible deliverables that not only encourage you to move forward, but allay the fears of management that you're doing the right thing.

Solution: Don't go for the big bang at the end. Plan for and deliver small incremental results that will not only motivate you and your team, but also get the attention of management. Show them that slow and steady positive results win the day — this stops you from over-promising and under-delivering.

That's it. If you consistently look at everything you do with an Action/Performance/Results lens, you'll find you get a lot more important stuff done faster. Leave the emails and meetings to some other poor performer.

Trouble Strikes When You Get Comfortable.

To be successful in business  — you need to keep this simple phrase front and center: "Never let a person who is more successful than you work harder than you." In other words, trouble tends to strike when people get comfortable. Many people become so comfortable with what they already have that they feel no need to extend effort any further. For example:

• Tom is a big fan of Susan. Susan makes $10,000 a month.

• Tom only makes $1000 per month.

• Tom wishes he could be like Susan and studies her lifestyle but takes things very slowly.

• Susan however, even though she makes $10,000 a month, she still runs her multiple sources of income, grinds her ass off. Works stupidly hard to make sure her money keeps growing.

You should never let a person who is more successful than you work harder than you. If you ever want your position in life to change, you need to work harder than the person who you admire. It's that simple.

BTW - working harder also encompasses working smarter. Dull, high-effort work rarely delivers results — you need to add smarts, insight, and focus to the equation.

Talk to ANY successful businessperson or high-level executive and you usually find someone that consistently knocks it out of the park every day. They come to work early, are prepared for every meeting, they engage high-level contacts, and they tend to hone their focus on high-potential activities. They don't ever goof off.

Once you get comfortable, you take your eye slightly off the prize. You come to work a bit later, you wing meetings, you neglect to connect with key people, and you work on mundane tasks. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

Who will you be today?

All Great Employees Have This Secret Ingredient.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Many of my clients complain about the work habits of their employees and how they're light-years away from a competent and conscientious worker.

It has to do with their past work histories. And I think I've solved that problem.

To be a good employee who is valued and moves up accordingly in the organization — one has to have worked at a number of similar vocations to build valuable abilities. I've honed the list down to four areas:

Farmhand

You need to work on a farm or construction site. You must experience hard work for eight hours, outside in nature's elements, and get really dirty during the process. It teaches you the value of hard work while strengthening your muscles and pushing the limits of what you can really do.

Most workers pucker-out before they hit 50% — on a farm or construction site, you will push yourself with work that will make you hit 100% of effort every day.

Retail

Customer service is key — being able to smile and help people who are being snotty, demanding, or obnoxious is a talent only trained in retail. It's a lot easier than a farmhand, but you have to gird yourself to handle multiple customers at once, keep the store clean and well-stocked, and hit your numbers every day.

Working under florescent lights is tiresome after 8-10 hours, but retail work will teach you everything you need to know about customer service, working under pressure, bad bosses, horrendous customers, and boring environments.

Sports

Teamwork is not something you're born with, you have to learn it on-the-job. Participation in a sport, especially a team sport, teaches you to rely on your friends and step-up/push yourself when things get tough.

It's this can-do environment you absorb — the ability to push past the pain and not be afraid of losing.

Camp Counselor

Being comfortable speaking in front of groups and convincing people do do things is key in business. One of the best ways to excel is to be a camp counselor or tour guide to teach you the basics and to repeatedly get you communicating to a group of people.

With speaking, you learn by doing and you get better with practice. In addition, you have to use your persuasion skills to guide people to your way of thinking.

This list isn't perfect — I'd love to hear from you if you have any additions, modifications, or comments on this list.

Structure Your Thinking To Deliver Results.

Too often, people tend to solve problems by taking two divergent directions:

1. They think of an idea — and zip off in that direction with no real assessment or planning. Measure once, cut twice.

2. They over-analyze their problem to death without taking action. Analysis-Paralysis.

The hardest part of any initiative or project is usually getting everyone on-board - mentally and physically. You need the go-ahead and the willing resources to make it happen.

Here's a simple way of presenting your case - not only to yourself to fully analyze each permutation, but to convince all parties that you're on the right track. I learned this method over 20 years ago during my Six Sigma/QAT training at ADVO. So here goes:

1. Start by defining the Current State. What is the current situation right now? What's been happening? Use metrics to clearly define the situation and make it real for all involved.

2. Then illustrate the Impact of the Current State if nothing is done. What is the eventual outcome of doing nothing? How much money, time, and resources will be wasted?

3. Hit them with the Desired State. Show yourself and your audience what nirvana is. Show them the money, the time savings, and piles of gold that would rain down from the heavens.

4. Finally, present your Solution (or solutions). Once you've defined the problem, shown them the promised land, show them how your solution will solve all of your current state problems and quickly deliver your desired state.

What are you really doing here? You're telling them a story — and people LOVE stories. It's simple, straightforward, and based on facts.

You see, the hardest job anyone will every have in business is convincing people over to their way of thinking. Why? Because emotions, fear, and ego get in the way.

Using this method, you slowly and factually take them through your thinking and getting them to nod their heads "Yes" during the entire process. By the time you present your solution, they have fully bought into your presentation.

P.S. Hope you like. BTW - this type of presentation also works well with sales — in-person and even on your website. Show them the current state, the impact of doing the same thing, then illustrate the desired state and deliver your solution. It's simple, easy and works every time.