Be A Time Management God.

Over the past few weeks, I've been aggregating many time management tips I share with my clients to get more done in the limited amount of time they have.

It's a mix of managing your time more effectively and dealing with that old devil — procrastination. By the way, if you feel you're the worst offender in the world, get in line. We ALL suffer from these ailments:

• Time management is really prioritizing your tasks. If you really want to get something done, block time for each task in your calendar (yes, keeping an accurate calendar is critical). Ensure you add buffer time (prep work, travel time, etc.) or your calendar will fail miserably.

• You will always find an excuse to procrastinate. Procrastination has its own in-built solution, usually involving panic and adrenaline (read this).

• Take frequent, short breaks. Falling back to regroup can help many people recharge and regain focus when things start getting fuzzy or monotonous. Go for a walk, stretch, get a coffee — move away for a few minutes and then come back to it.

• "Perfect is the enemy of good." I develop a good balance of quality and time — I schedule a strict deadline and work to it. The result won't be perfect, but it will be close to perfect every time. My articles take 60 minutes to write — they’re not Shakespeare, but thousands of people read them and let me know how many of my crazy ideas have changed their lives.

• Work for 50 minutes out of every hour. The Pomodoro technique works pretty well for me and many of my clients.

• Learn what your productivity kryptonite is. For some it's surfing, coworkers, surfing, clients, phone calls, surfing — download an app if you don’t have the willpower. There are a bunch of plugins/apps you can download to block yourself from distracting websites: StayFocusd (Chrome plugin) or SelfControl (Mac program).

• Always have a notepad handy. Write down anything/everything you may think you will forget in short form. You can then transfer it to your calendar.

• Plan out each tasks into smaller, more achievable steps. Keep your to-do lists short — meaning nothing more than 2 or 3 steps. I've found that if I follow this, there's a better chance of completing them and less chance of becoming overwhelmed and giving up.

• Go to a public place where we feel we might be judged if we are not doing work. It might be the public library, Starbucks, central conference room or the company cafeteria.

• Make a schedule of what you will do in one day and stick to it. At first, it will be difficult to accurately estimate a solid workday — but you’ll get better at it with time. Reward yourself for achieving your goals that day — you deserve it.

• Buy this book by David Allen. I read it years ago and I felt more relaxed in the first week — it really helps you to focus on the things that really need to be done.

• Find out which hours you are at your BEST. For example, I’m a morning person so I try to do critical tasks early in the morning. Many problems arise when we try to do the hard stuff when we’re not mentally/physically ready for it.

• Eliminate elements which tend to eat your time like unnecessarily long phone calls, useless chats with people, etc. Figure out what they are and cut down doing them.

• Don't play the victim. If I get distracted by something, it isn't the fault of what/who distracted me, my cluttered-brain, whatever's making me sad, or some ADHD affliction — it's my fault. I did that. Own it and move on.

• Start each day with the proper mindset. I think the song ‘Don't Stop Believin’ by Journey describes the mindset I aim for. I listen to motivating music, podcasts, or books EVERY DAY.

• Buy AirPods. They’re a giant productivity boost for me — they allow me to focus on getting important things done and they discourage wacky interlopers.

And finally, my favorite:

I construct each weekday in such a way where the only work that needs to be accomplished is incredibly important to me — like coaching my clients. Try to put yourself in a position where what you do is what you love.

How Is Your Self-Esteem? It's Critical.

If one were to ask what single characteristic that makes you attractive to others, it would be self-esteem. Self-esteem, as defined by Nathaniel Branden in "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem," is the reputation one has with him or herself. The criteria which we unconsciously judge ourselves and which makeup our self-esteem is two fold:

1. The first is self efficacy, which is our perceived ability to deal with the basic requirements of life; i.e., competence.

2. The second is self respect, which is the degree to which we feel deserving of happiness, receiving the rewards of our efforts and how steadfast we are in defending our boundaries.

Branden gives us six basic pillars, which if worked on with sufficient effort will increase one's self-esteem. These are:

1. The practice of living consciously

2. The practice of self acceptance

3. The practice of self responsibility

4. The practice of self assertiveness

5. The practice of living purposefully

6. The practice of personal integrity

While I won't break down each of these in detail, when I work with clients, I preach many of these pillars in one way or another.

Branden explains that even the smallest improvements in any one of these pillars can lead to massive shifts on one's overall self-esteem.

Improvements happen in two steps. The first is asking, what do I want? And the second asks, what must I do? First, the conceptualization, then the execution.

It is with the execution step that one receives the reward of a boost in self-esteem. It isn't necessarily the successful execution of the action step, but an honest, committed attempt.

For example, if you have approach anxiety and you finally work up the courage to ask for a promotion or meet a high-potential contact, the reward received is substantial.

This execution, essentially imprinted your subconscious saying that you are willing to put yourself in harm's way in order to experience what you want, because you believe you are worthy of that experience. This is the basis for courage. This is why blasting through your fears can become an addiction for some people. The boost in dopamine and serotonin is very real, and feels amazing.

I highly recommend giving this book a read. It has been an essential tool in developing my own assertiveness and raising my overall sense of worthiness influencing my past career, my current practice and everything in between.

Play With The Big Boys & Girls.

We've got a big snowstorm here in Oxford, Connecticut. Thankfully, I work from my home office on Fridays — so I really don't have to go anywhere — I just meander down to my first-floor home office and talk to my clients. We only get better when we play tennis with better tennis players. One way is to immerse ourselves into their lives, their learnings, and their tricks of the trade.

I thought I would do a "Rich's Favorite Things Early 2017" post and let you know what resources I use to stay at the top of my game. So here goes . . .

Podcasts:

How I Built This - I religiously listen to ever episode. It's about innovators, entrepreneurs, and idealists, and the stories behind the movements they built. Each episode is a narrative journey marked by triumphs, failures, serendipity and insight — told by the founders of some of the world's best known companies and brands. (from NPR)

The Tim Ferriss Show - I've listened to this since his first broadcast. Tim Ferriss deconstructs world-class performers from eclectic areas (investing, chess, pro sports, etc.), digging deep to find the tools, tactics, and tricks that listeners can use.

Smart Passive Income Online Business and Blogging - Pat Flynn reveals all of his online business and blogging strategies, income sources and killer marketing tips and tricks so you can be ahead of the curve with your online business or blog. Discover how you can create multiple passive income streams that work for you so that you can have the time and freedom to do what you love, whether it's traveling the world, or just living comfortably at home.

Books:

The One Thing - You'll learn to cut through the clutter, achieve better results in less time, build momentum toward your goal,  dial down the stress, overcome that overwhelmed feeling, revive your energy, stay on track, and master what matters to you. The ONE Thing delivers extraordinary results in every area of your life--work, personal, family, and spiritual.

The Pumpkin Plan - Each year Americans start one million new businesses, nearly 80 percent of which fail within the first five years. Under such pressure to stay alive—let alone grow—it’s easy for entrepreneurs to get caught up in a never-ending cycle of “sell it—do it, sell it—do it” that leaves them exhausted, frustrated, and unable to get ahead no matter how hard they try.  The Pumpkin Plan guides you through unconven­tional strategies to help you build a truly profitable blue-ribbon company that is the best in its field.

P.S. If you want to play with the big boys and girls,  Let’s talk. I’ve worked with people from all over the world who wanted to play a bigger game and I got them to Wimbledon — call me to schedule a complimentary session.

The Best Books I Recommend.

I'm asked all the time by clients and attendees to my keynotes/workshops/seminars to recommend my favorite books. My assistant and I took some time over the weekend and made a new page that lists my favorites. Enjoy!

Visit The Best Books.

13 Simple Tips To Get Highly-Qualified Referrals.

When you run your own business, it's hard to keep the sales funnel healthy and moving with new referrals, prospect and hopefully, clients! Most people forget about REFERRALS. Why? 

• You hate to ask for things from other people.
• You don't want to come off as someone who NEEDS referrals.
• You know it sounds like begging for clients.
• And many, many  others.

Bottom line — to run a successful business, you need constant and regular referrals.

To get those . . . YOU NEED TO ASK FOR REFERRALS.

I've linked to one of my most requested articles: Get Referrals NOW™ — 13 simple steps to start a referral flood to your business.

Each of the 13 steps have a dedicated action item to get you on your way to highly qualified and powerful referrals.

Some of the best steps:

• Review your past referrals.
• Be referable.
• Train your troops.
• Reward your referrers.

This report will radically change your 2013 business.

Check it out HERE.

Is Life Giving You Lemons?

I ran across a powerful quote the other day from Nora Roberts, the romance novelist: “If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.”

Do you know about Nora Roberts? I met her MANY years ago when I was in Marketing at Waldenbooks/Reader's Market. We hosted an autographing at one of our locations and she had a new romance novel out. She was a really nice person (most authors and celebrities at the time were obnoxious). A lot of you might say with a hint of disdain in your voice, "Oh, she's a romance novelist."

Here are some sobering facts — as of 2011, her novels had spent a combined 861 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, including 176 weeks in the number-one spot. Over 400 million copies of her books are in print, including 12 million copies sold in 2005 alone. She's a heavy hitter.

Nora began to write during a blizzard in February, 1979 while housebound with her two small boys. With three feet of snow, a dwindling supply of chocolate, and no morning kindergarten she had little else to do. While writing down her ideas for the first time, she fell in love with the writing process, and quickly produced six manuscripts.

She submitted her manuscripts to Harlequin, the leading publisher of romance novels, but was repeatedly rejected. Roberts says, "I got the standard rejection for the first couple of tries, then my favorite rejection of all time. I received my manuscript back with a nice little note which said that my work showed promise, and the story had been very entertaining and well done. But that they already had their American writer. That would have been Janet Dailey."

In 1980, a new publisher, Silhouette books, formed to take advantage of the pool of manuscripts from the many American writers that Harlequin had snubbed. Roberts found a home at Silhouette, where her first novel, Irish Thoroughbred, was published in 1981. She used the pseudonym Nora Roberts, a shortened form of her birth name Eleanor Marie Robertson, because she assumed that all authors had pen names. Between 1982 and 1984, Roberts wrote 23 novels for Silhouette.

Roberts believes that pursuing a career as a writer requires discipline: "You're going to be unemployed if you really think you just have to sit around and wait for the muse to land on your shoulder." She concentrates on one novel at a time, writing eight hours a day, every day, even while on vacation. Rather than begin with an outline or plot summary, Roberts instead envisions a key incident, character, or setting. She then writes a short first draft with the basic elements of a story.

After finishing the first draft, Roberts goes back to the beginning of the novel. The second draft usually sees the addition of details, the "texture and color" of the work, as well as a more in-depth study of the characters. She then does a final pass to polish the novel before sending it to her agent, Amy Berkower. She often writes trilogies, finishing the three books in a row so that she can remain with the same characters.

So let's look closer at her words:

If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it.

How many times have you known EXACTLY where you need to go and what you need to do? In fact, it's right in front of you. But for some reason, something or someone is holding you back. Here's a little secret, most of the time, that obstacle is usually YOU. You might think there are external forces out there — but you are putting those potholes in the road. You need to be very clear about what you want and go after it. Nora could have remained a stay-at-home Mom, but she had a dream of being a writer. And she went after it with gusto.

If you don't ask, the answer is always no.

As a coach, I run into this one ALL the time. People are afraid of asking for that raise, that promotion, that business. They either feel they're not worthy or that they're begging. If you want it — go get it. Nora was turned down a bunch of times by Harlequin, but she kept going back. She wrote whole manuscripts, submitted them, and was nicely declined. But she kept coming back.

If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.

MOVE. You need to move somewhere and not stay in the same place. When we need to make a life change when life is giving us lemons (and it happens all the time), we tend to get caught up on where to go. Just take ANY step - very soon, you will be making your way forward and moving towards a new location with no lemons.

Listen to Nora, she knows where it's at.

Nora Roberts biographical information was partially gleaned from Wikipedia.

The Book You Should Be Reading RIGHT NOW.

Every so often, a business/self-help book comes along that knocks my socks off.  Before I begin, I find most of this book genre terrible. People today write books not because they have a great idea or a better way of doing things, they write books to become famous. They might become famous and appear on TV, but their book still sucks.

The other day, I came upon a book that has changed the way I think, live, work, and interact with people. It's called The Tools. Phil Stutz and Barry Michels are both psychotherapists who honed these tools to help people like you and me.

Phil invented The Tools when he was finished with his training as a psychiatrist. After a number of failures at helping his early patients he felt that the kind of psychotherapy he was trained in didn't offer much to patients that was all that practical. He basically started from scratch and invented The Tools as a way to help his patients with day to day problems, and to his surprise and his patients' satisfaction, it worked.

Barry faced the same dilemma, but at a critical juncture in time Michels was lucky enough to attend one of Stutz's lecture. He became the prime student of Stutz and found incredible success using the tools with his patient population. Both have used these tools as the cornerstone of their psychotherapy. The two worked together to refine them and are now the go-to psychotherapists to Hollywood writers and the stars. They are presenting this book to bring their ideas to the general public and to help people help themselves.

These four fundamental problems which keep clients from living the life they want to live:

1. Pain avoidance (out of fear of rejection, failure, and negative consequences) to the extent that clients don't move forward or progress — clients are stuck in a comfort zone in which they aren't achieving their goals, life is passing them by.

2. Unrealistic belief that people will treat you fairly — when this doesn't happen, clients become enraged/hurt and replay the experience, refuse to move forward until wrong is rectified, obsess about the person or event, fantasize about revenge etc.

3. Insecurity based on intimidating situations — leads to difficulty expressing yourself, connecting to others etc.

4. Negative thinking displayed in worry, anxiety, criticism, judgment of others and self-hatred — clients feel like a dark cloud hangs over them and have difficulty enjoying life and creating positive experiences.

I'll be honest, this book won't appeal to everyone. If you believe that the universe is simply mechanistic governed by material laws, matter-based cause and effect alone, you may find this book isn't for you. However, if you believe that growth and spiritual evolution are principles operating in the universe, and that laws and powers exist to support resolving problems and forward movement, then you may be intrigued by the tools the authors have discovered and field-tested through their personal experience and clients' experience.

IMPORTANT: I bought the audiobook to listen to in the car, it is much better than the book (I have that too) - you actually hear Phil and Barry explain each tool as they would in their seminar. Powerful.

PLEASE SHARE AND GET THE WORD OUT ON THIS BOOK! Thank you!

The Two Most Important Days Of Your Life.

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” — Mark Twain What a powerful quote. But what does it really mean?

And more importantly, what does it really mean TO YOU?

Some people already know — they're sure about their purpose. There are also some people who have a good idea, but they aren't 100% sure about why they're on this earth.

And then there are people who don't know. Why is that?

• They don't want to know. When they get close to learning their true purpose — they step back and shy away.
• They go through life without a purpose. They don't realize the magic of having a purpose and the power it brings.
• They vacillate from one purpose to another. This isn't a bad thing — but in the end it probably causes internal and external confusion of purpose.

So the big question is — How do you figure out your life's purpose? I have some strategies:

• Sit down and think, meditate and reflect.
• Review where you've been, what you've done, and who you've impacted/influenced so far.
• Review what things/people/activities energize you (and what ones enervate you).
• Start to finely focus your lens and cull down your choices to a few.
• Then step back and look at the whole picture.
• Finally, make a clear decision, understand what your purpose is, and move forward.

Years ago, two powerful things happened which helped me fully understand my purpose in life.

First, one of my best friends from college, Dave Taylor, recommended a book to me — Tuesdays With Morrie. I can't tell you how much this book changed my life and outlook on the world. If you haven't read it — READ IT. If you have — READ IT AGAIN.

It allowed me to briefly step off the corporate rat race mentally and better understand what are the really important things in life.

Second, I hired Karen Gregaitis, my Dale Carnegie trainer and coach to help me excel and cope with my erratic corporate leadership role. She recommended I take an assessment call Tru-Values (a tool I use with many of my clients) which allowed me to better understand the value drivers in my life.

To this day, I focus on my four values - Encourage, Energize, Enlighten & Have Fun. Wonder why I coach, write, and speak?

I'm doing what I love. ARE YOU?

P.S. If you would like to learn more about the Tru-Values assessment, let's connect.

3 Books You Should Be Reading Right NOW.

I'm frequently asked by organizations in my business consulting area what are the best books their employees should read and refer to. Honestly, there are a lot of good books out there. And unfortunately, there are millions of stinkers out there too.

Today, everyone thinks they can write a book. But most of them suck (hey, it's my opinion).

Here are the three which have withstood the test of time and to this day influence millions of executives and employees throughout the world:

How to Win Friends & Influence People

By Dale Carnegie.

This is the bible — buy it and live it. This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated.

The Magic of Thinking Big

By David Schwartz.

Long regarded as one of the foremost experts on motivation, Schwartz will help you manage better, earn more money, and — most important of all — find greater happiness and peace of mind. He proves that you don’t need to have an innate talent to attain great success — but you do need to learn and understand the habit of thinking and behaving in ways that will get you there.

Linchpin — Are You Indispensable?

By Seth Godin

Linchpin is a most unusual, well-organized, concise book about what it takes to become indispensable in the workplace – whether you work for someone else (at any level) or are self-employed. It’s about how business has rapidly changed and how treating employees like factory workers (or doing your job like one) doesn’t work any longer. We must make choices and take action to “chart our own paths” and add value that others do not.

We cannot wait for a boss or a job description to tell us what to do, rather we must just take the initiative ourselves. Only then can we become indispensable “linchpins,” rather than replaceable “cogs.” ”You don’t become indispensable merely because you are different. But the only way to become indispensable is to be different. That’s because if you’re the same, so are plenty of other people.

I recommend these three books DAILY to my clients.

Go out and buy them for your iPad or even better, pick up the audiobook and devour it.