How To Successfully Change Your Game.

In the movie Fight Club (a male perennial favorite like ‘The Godfather’), the lead character works for an auto company and spouts out a formula they use for deciding whether to recall a model of their car or just let it go on killing people:

“Take the number of vehicles in the field, (A), and multiply it by the probable rate of failure, (B), then multiply the result by the average out-of-court settlement, (C). A times B times C equals X . . . If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.”

It’s a scary formula — but an apt example of how one should look critically at a decision. When I coach my clients, career change comes down to three choices:

1. Do nothing. Keep doing what you’re doing.

2. Do something slightly different. Change the dynamic.

3. Change radically (move or something totally new). Take charge of your life.

You need to stay ahead of the curve. So if you do nothing, eventually the marketplace is going to catch up to you and pass you pretty quickly. If you do something slightly different, you’re just staving off the inevitable, it’s catching up soon.

If you move or change your model radically, you stay ahead of the curve. Although you might be at the burning edge of the marketplace or your career path, you still are 100% in control of your destiny.

Your career or business needs to follow a Sigmoid Curve (above). The secret to constant growth is to start a new sigmoid curve before the first one peters out. The right place to start that second curve is at a first intersection where there is time, as well as the resources and energy, to get the new curve through its initial explorations and floundering before the first curve begins to dip downward (second intersection).

And that’s what it’s all about. Maintaining complete control over what you do, where you go, and what happens to you.

It’s your choice: If you let things happen to you, you are at the whim of management or the marketplace. If you take control and make decisions about your future, you have a little bit more say in the direction of your journey.

“Stop waiting for life to happen to you and begin to direct your life and explore your limits.” - Rich Gee

Extra Credit: Here's a real-life example: Years ago, I worked with one of the most energetic, positive, and professional executives I've ever met. He was a pleasure to interact with, always moving forward, always getting things done. In fact, both he and I won the organization's highest award that year. We were going places — and in less than a few months, he was gone, off to another position at another company. In fact, he's done it successfully throughout his career. Today, he's the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Fancy that.

Me? I do what I love too. Every single day.

What Type of Leader Are You?

Too often, we are placed in a situation that requires us to modify our reaction to a person. For example:

• An associate on our staff who challenges our authority.

• A client who is very late on their payment.

• A peer who throws you under the bus in front of your boss.

We try to be professional, calm, cool, and collected — but sometimes we need to step out of our management comfort zone to react appropriately. Unfortunately, we don’t want to come off like a jerk. I’m here to help you.

There is a range of management personalities — I want you to stay away from the extremes. At one extreme of the range is a ‘Pushover’. We all know someone like that and unfortunately, no one wants to be one. On the other extreme of the range is a ‘Jerk’. We’ve all worked for one in our lives.

In the center of the range is the ‘Professional’. Someone who is direct and pleasant to work with. They’re fair and non-judgmental. We all try to maintain our proactive and reactive behavior in the center.

Then an errant associate, client, or peer tries to take advantage of your good nature. Many people let it happen because they “don’t want to come off like a Jerk”. 

Then, don’t go there. There is an extreme amount of range in-between ‘Professional’ and ‘Jerk.’ In fact, many good managers will move a bit down on the range and let their ‘Stern’ behavior out and take the associate, client, or peer to task. That’s a normal business process — show them that you mean business.

Too often, we’re also afraid of being labeled a ‘Pushover’, so we guard ourselves and treat everyone with a ‘Stern’ manner. On the other end of the range is ‘Nice’ — being overly pleasant, accommodating, and motivating without veering off into ‘Pushover’-Land.

Bottom line, try to maintain your management style in the ‘Professional’ center with infrequent trips to ‘Nice’ and ‘Stern’ when the errant situation appears. I’ve seen the best leaders hover in ‘Professional’ and radiate out on the range when needed.

If you worry about coming off as a ‘Jerk’ to people, stop worrying. A Jerk never worries about that — they’re too busy being a Jerk.

You Can Be The Best You Can Be.

I came up with a simple and powerful tool the other day. I was standing in my office in front of a large Post-It notepad sheet with a red sharpie in my hand (red delivers intention!) — and the ideas just flowed. What did I come up with to help you be the best? To be the best you can be, there are four stages to success — Find Me, Want Me, Sell Them, Close Them. This works for the corporate executive, to the aspiring entrepreneur, all the way to the person in transition. It's simple, it's direct, and it works. Let me explain each one:

STAGE ONE: FIND ME

We go through our lives partially hidden to key influential people and once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. We either sit at our desk toiling away, make cold calls to people who don't want our services, or hide at home and send out electronic résumés to closed positions. And we wonder why we aren't moving up, getting the best clients, or landing that dream job. It's frustrating.

The best businesses are easy to find - a big sign, the best location — the ability to stand out and be a billboard so millions of people can see you:

• Executive: When was the last time you introduced yourself to the leaders in you organization? Do they know you?

• Business Owner: New signage, new website, new branding — getting out and touching lots of people?

• Transitional: Keywords on LinkedIn, writing articles, hitting industry meetings, hitting the library?

STAGE TWO: WANT ME

Okay — now we are being seen by the powers that be. What do we do now? We want them to WANT US. How do we do that?

You need to develop your own personal brand that will engage your audience and get them to see your ability, your product, and your talents:

• Executive: What can you do to really help your company? If you've done it, do you brag about it? Be bold.

• Business Owner: What one thing do you do that can change people's lives or fill a hole in their life? Spotlight your brand.

• Transitional: Polish your image and brand - hit the gym, change your fashions, and show them what you can do for them. No begging.

STAGE THREE: SELL THEM

They've seen us and they want us. It's time to sell them and show them we are the best choice (this is where most fail).

You need to develop an iron-clad delivery that will make them better understand what you can do for them and that you're the only person on this earth who can do it. Find the BURNING issue that keeps them awake at night and show them how you will solve it.

• Executive: Think big - what are the real issues your company/industry are facing right now? Figure out some powerful solutions.

• Business Owner: Who are your biggest/best customers? What aren't you doing for them that will change their life?

• Transitional: It's not what you did - it's what you can do for them RIGHT NOW. Pinpoint what that is and deliver it.

STAGE FOUR: CLOSE THEM

Everyone forgets this one. They market, produce the itch, and make the sale — then they forget to close or leave them hanging.

Once you've sold them — get them to sign on the dotted line. Don't feel that it's their job to jump into the boat after you've hooked them — take them off your line and place them nicely in your cooler.

• Executive: Once they are interested in you — try to offer yourself to help them with a major initiative or pitch. You have the time.

• Business Owner: Once they are sold — make the closing process simple, easy, transparent, and fluid. It should be pleasurable for the customer.

• Transitional: Ask for the job. Get them to commit. Show them that you can leave for a better opportunity. Sign on the dotted line.

If you stick to this method and produce key deliverables for each stage — I promise you — you will be THE BEST YOU CAN BE.

Establish A Personal Contract With Your Team.

You work hard and so does your team. Sometimes, a mis-alignment of communication, interpretation, or expectations occurs. It happens. It’s not a bad thing even if it happens once in awhile. But when it becomes a frequent occurrence, you begin to question your team’s ability to execute or your ability to communicate.

Then again, it might be another issue. You haven’t set clear communication, timing, and delivery standards with each of your team members (and in-turn having them matriculate it down to their staff).

It sounds hokey, but a simple contract (formal agreement) between parties makes this all go away. Why?

It gives everyone in your organization the ability to measure themselves against a pre-specified standard. And that’s important. If there is no bar, no ruler, no finish line, some (if not all) your team members will begin to develop their own measures. Or worse, they will aimlessly work without any sense of direction (it happens!).

Establishing a contract is simple. Some areas that might be included:

• How often you will communicate with them and how they should communicate with you.
• Who does what, where, and with whom.
• Clearly communicating the Why of every situation and getting buy-in.
• Clear task, activity, project and initiative deadlines.
• Simple ‘business rules’ to guide a project.

It could be written (a set of simple statements on a wall) or verbally built into your organization’s consciousness — your choice. I know Nordstrom's has a famous card they distribute to all of their employees — it's powerful. Check it out. (Also check out The Nordstrom Way)

If you have these in place, you’ll see your organization run more smoothly. If not, a subtle undercurrent will develop of crossed expectations, bad communication and missed deadlines.

I’ve been there and it’s not pretty.

What type of ‘contract’ have you established with your team?

Top 10 Most Read Articles In 2014.

Every year, I go back and track my website analytics to uncover what articles really resonated with my readers. Here are my top ten for 2014 to get you ready for 2015!

1. The Most Important Thing You Should Do In The Shower.

Acknowledge and feel gratitude for all the special things in your life.

2. How To Network Like A Pro.

Last night, I was invited to attend a gala event at the prominent investment firm in NYC. Here are some key techniques that I used to make the night a fruitful and productive one.

3. Build The Best Standing Desk For Your Office.

Lately, I’ve been reading about the healthy aspects of standing desks and learned about all the attributes of standing: better posture, more active, easy to reach items, etc.

4. Be Like Jack LaLanne.

I grew up with Jack LaLanne. I used to watch him every morning on TV. Jack taught me a lot of things about life — especially to stay positive all the time.

5. How To Eliminate Guilt About Not Doing Everything.

Some Shiny Objects are good. Some are bad. Let’s talk about the BAD Shiny Objects.

6. Be A Better Leader – 30 Leadership Hacks For Managers.

Here are my top 30 hacks to make you a better leader.

7. Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

When dying patients were questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five.

8. Five Tips To Fix A Bad Relationship With Your Boss.

You're getting the feeling your relationship has soured with your boss. How do you repair it?

9. Hitting A Wall In Your Career? You Need A Breakthrough.

It's tough today. It’s hard when everything is coming at you. Hard to think. Hard to act. Hard to react. As they always say — the first step is always the hardest.

10a. You’re Not Charging Enough For Your Services - Part One

10b. How To Charge More For Your Services. - Part Two

I received a huge response from readers who requested a number of techniques to help them raise their pricing. It became a two-part article. Enjoy!

If you truly want to change your life, career, or business this year. Check out my complimentary Test Drive.

How to Be an Effective CEO.

It's quite simple - unfortunately, there are many critics, books, and know-it-all's out there trying to 'complexify' (my word) the basic responsibilities of a CEO or C-Level executive. It really comes down to three skills:

1. Motivate Your Team This is the most important skill - everyone goes to work, but it's how you manage their expectations, keep them focused, and acknowledge them for their efforts that win the game. This is not a one management-style fits all - you need to directly motivate each direct report on your team AND teach them how they can directly motivate the direct reports on their team. By doing this, motivation will be viral and very successful.

Find out what energizes them - HOW? - Ask them. What do they like to work on? What areas challenge them? What areas do they hate working on? - Help them streamline, delegate, and retire those areas.

2. Communicate & Inform This is the day-to-day stuff and candidly, most executives fail at this skill. Many either forget to communicate/inform or they actually manage by not delivering information - it sounds a little comical - but it's true. It's call management by holding back information.

All you have to do is communicate clearly and ensure that the person or team that you're communicating to not only listens, but they understand your vision, goals, direction or tactics. In addition, you need to inform on a regular basis - keep the team up to date on what's happening and tell them immediately, not after the fact.

More information and increased communication delivers a happy and healthy team.

3. Help Them Get Rid Of Obstacles Finally, your job is to help your people recognize, understand, and bypass regular obstacles that get in their way.

But here's the kicker - you don't do it for them - have them come with possible solutions to the problem, you both discuss it, and they walk away with a strategy to solve their own problems. That is the only way they grow as an executive and you get back much needed time to focus on more important matters.

That's it. If you keep to these three rules, you will find that your life as a C-Level executive will be ever so much easier and more fulfilling. Try it!

Why Your Good Leadership Isn't Great.

Good To Great. An incredible book by Jim Collins — relates how certain companies overcame their obstacles and pushed themselves from being just good companies to the stars of their industry. It chronicles how they made the leap, what they did, and what they didn't do. How can you make the leadership leap with your team and go from just being a good leader (and that isn't bad) to a great leader? Here are some basic qualities most leaders use and how to kick each one up a notch to great:

Integrity

When was the last time you really assessed YOUR performance? Do you stand by what you say? I'd like you to think back to three major or difficult decisions you had to make over the past year and review how did you make them? What was the result? Do you feel that you stayed true to your ethics and that your decision grew you as a leader in your organization?

Vision & Planning

How much of your time is focused on looking forward? Not just a few days or weeks, but months and years? How much of your time do you actually design personalized visions for your team — where you see them going?

Communication

What kind of communicator are you? Do you find yourself speaking more than listening? How can you communicate more effectively and efficiently in 2011? Do you know what talents and issues your team leaders have? How you can show them top-notch communication styles that they in turn can show their teams?

Persuasion, Motivation, & Coaching

What techniques do you use to get your teams to efficiently execute company strategy? Have you revisited your motivational and coaching behaviors? When was the last time you learned new ones? Do you treat everyone the same or do you personalize your coaching to ensure that you not only get 100% out of each person, but they in turn are encouraged to do more?

Adaptability

How did you handle adversity in the past few years? It's been hard on a lot of us. What behaviors did you see come to the surface and which ones did you desperately need for certain circumstances? What tools do you have at your disposal to help you better adapt to changes in the marketplace and the competition?

Decision-making

Do you make fast decisions or really take your time? What effect does this have on the flow of work coming from your area? Are you a micromanager? What information do you rely on? What can you do differently in 2011 to make faster and more reliable decisions?

Most of all — it's self-reflection. It's taking the time and energy to understand your current behaviors and how they are working. If they work, but at your team member's detriment, you might need to rethink some of your strategies.

Do you have any other areas that are critical to building GREAT leadership skills?

Three Secrets Presentation Pros Keep To Themselves.

To be honest, there are times when I'm scared. Not the 'horror movie, the zombie is coming after me scared' — more like the 'I've been pushed WAY out of my comfort zone' scared. A few weeks ago, I was asked by a Fortune 50 organization to speak to a group of their employees — a small group, say 50-100 people. No problem — I've done it before. As the date moved ever closer, the attendance figures rose to 200, 300 until I walked into the building and found out we were looking at 750-800 attendees (for the auditorium and streamed via webinar). Oh my.

The main reason why there was a dramatic attendance jump was directly attributable to the title and topic of my talk: "Bulletproof Your Career". To say the least, I had to pull every bit of speaker experience out of my being and ensure my time on stage wow'ed the audience. During this entire process, I used three 'secrets' to allow me to knock it out of the park (afterward, I was told my evaluation score was 98% — one of the best they've ever seen).

So here they are:

1. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

I couldn't have walked on stage in front of all those people without being 100% sure of my presentation and the logistics behind the presentation. First off, I spend a lot of time constructing the presentation. I have a rare form of presentation ADD, so when I build every slide deck, I tend to instantly edit, modify, and move things around because I get bored easily. I then run through the slides standing up, looking at my screen with my remote — to see how each slide runs into the next and I instantly feel the flow. Honestly, I do it a number of times until I get it right.

I also show up to the venue at least two hours ahead of time. I ensure I'm at the location (so I'm not late), I meet with the AV crew and connect my presentation to their machinery and I get a feel for the stage — I walk around, test the mic, see if there are any obstacles that might trip me up. Everything has to be PERFECT — and we have more than enough time to make it all happen. These little things all build my confidence and banish all the worries we all have prior to a presentation.

I also ask many questions prior to the event to get a better feel for my audience. Who will be there? What information do they need? Where are their heads at right now? All of these activities ensure I will deliver my best for all of my clients.

2. Simple, Clear, Concise

This is the hardest secret for presenters to stick to — keeping their message simple, clear and concise. They tend to over-complexify their presentation with a million slides, too much info on each slide, too many bullets (I hate bullets), etc. It almost becomes a treasure hunt for the audience where the presenter has buried the treasure and the audience has to find (decipher) it.

My slides always have one of two things: an image which dominates the slide or words which make up a simple phrase. That's it. Too many times, I see presenters go WAY overboard by adding too much information to the slide. They're not only hurting themselves (the audience checks out at a certain point) but their are obfuscating their message.

LESS IS MORE. Use your slides as illustrations to your verbal speaking points. You want your audience to spend the majority of their time looking at you, glancing at the slide, and then back to you. You don't want them READING each point — then they don't need you AND you lose the power and presence of a presenter instantly.

3. Pick It Up, Power It Down

Modulate your presentation — most speakers don't do this — they stay at the same volume, the same tonality, and the same rhythm during the entire presentation.

Mix it up! Jump on stage and greet your audience — unless you're a star and your reputation precedes you, every speaker needs to transfer their excitement and energy to the audience. The easiest way to do that is to greet everyone with a huge "Good Morning". First impressions impact your entire presentation.

Start out strong and let them know what they're in for — give them a brief overview of what your're going to cover. Tell them a story — get them excited about true instances which bring your points to life.

Power it down to make a point — get them to focus — but then bring it back up by asking a question or make a self-depreciating comment to make them laugh. Whatever you choose, keep the rhythm moving,  unexpected, go up and down in tonality. This is not a world affairs forum and you are not expounding on the economics of third-world countries — you are informing, entertaining and engaging your audience. Make it a celebration!

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Your Communication Skills Stink.

If you pare down your job or business — and take away all the extraneous stuff you do — the most important part is COMMUNICATION. Simple, two-way and CLEAR communication. I give you information and I get your response. You tell me to do something and I tell you when I can get it done. I explain the merits of my products and services and you buy. And on and on and on.

Here's the simple fact — it's not as easy as it looks. In fact, some people tend to screw it up most of the time and wonder why they are being listened to or why their people or clients are not doing what they've been told. Do you find yourself saying:

• "They just aren't listening!"
• "Why are my clients checking out?"
• "Why do I tell my team one thing and they do another?"

If you catch yourself saying these and other choice phrases — you might need to tighten up your communication style.

Communication is a very complex process. When you communicate, you need to keep a sharp eye on the person you are communicating to. Why? There are so many signals where you need to modulate your communication to ensure they are understanding what you're saying.

Communication is made up of two competing spheres:

1. Facts & Information (F&I) - this is the 'what' of the conversation. And usually where you do a good job of transmitting.
2. Emotions & Feelings (E&F) - this is the 'why' of the conversation. And usually where you do a bad job of transmitting.

To communicate effectively, you need to better balance the two. Most of the time, we spend 80-90% of our efforts in F&I and 10-20% in E&F. Unfortunately, in certain situations, you need to increase your E&F — but you don't — and this is where communication breaks down.

Why does this happen? Because communicating facts and information are easy — you just blabber away. Emotions and feelings take a certain amount of restrain — you have to ask questions, listen, and react to the other person's feelings and emotions. And that's hard for most people. It's the EQ (emotional quotient) of the conversation.

The bottom line — if you take the E&F into account and speak to it — your communication success will increase exponentially.

But how do you bridge that gap? Three steps:

1. Bring Them In.

Bring them into the conversation. If you find you are doing all or most of the talking, STOP. Start asking them questions, get their side of the conversation, issue, or situation. Then paraphrase what they said to ensure you are listening correctly, and then ask more questions. We tend to blabber on without a care about the person we are speaking with. One of my favorite phrases to use is "Tell Me More". If that fails . . .

2. Ask Them A Permission Question.

Pause and then ask one of these permission questions:

• May I offer a suggestion . . . ?
• Can we further explore . . . ?
• Would it be alright if . . . ?
• With your permission, can we . . . ?

These permission questions immediately stop the conversation, reverse it, and allow you to better understand what's going on in the head of the person you're speaking with. If that fails . . .

3. Tell Them A Story.

One of the best ways to bridge the gap between Facts & Information and Emotions & Feelings is to tell a related story, example or scenario. It adds weight to the conversation and allows the person to visualize and mentally illustrate what you're talking about.

Each of these steps allows the speaker — YOU — to better communicate, bring the client or team member into the conversation, and hopefully deliver better, faster and more clear communication to whatever you do.

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How Successful Leaders Stay Successful.

It's simple. This prescription is easy to understand and execute — but for some reason, for most people, it's really difficult and complex. So here it is — 

Launch. Declare Victory. Move On. 

Work is made up of a bunch of tasks, activities, projects, initiatives, and deliverables. We work and manage them day in and day out. Unfortunately, we sometimes forget that many of these things we do have a critical half-life. We need to complete them and get them out the door ASAP.

But we don't do that. We keep working on them, we can make them better. We can push them to do a little bit more. In addition, we are sometimes afraid of releasing our deliverables out into the world for fear of failure. So we procrastinate.

So here's my prescription for success (taught to me years ago by a valued boss):

Launch.

Get it out. Set a deadline and stick to it. Put plans in place to make sure nothing can stand in the way of launching, releasing, or completing your deliverable. It could be as big as a new product or as small as a simple presentation. Your job is to get it out and DONE.

Declare Victory.

This one is critical. Build into your plan the ability to put a positive spin on everything you accomplish. Why? Because the typical human being tends to do the exact opposite — they criticize, condemn, and complain about what they deliver. How it's not ready, how you could've done better, how you missed the delivery date by a few seconds.

We all do it. So to be successful, do the exact opposite. Declare victory — let everyone know it's out, it's a success, build up enthusiasm, get people excited. Let them know about all the great things it will do and how it will change their lives.

Move On.

This is the most important part — once you declare victory, move on to something else. Don't rest on your laurels — your last deliverable will start to smell after awhile. So many people launch something or complete a huge project and for the next 3-6 months, bask in the glory and slowly move from delivery to on-going maintenance.

Once you declare victory, move on to something new ASAP. Too many people fall into the trap of sticking around too long at the party and they suddenly become the 'guest that wouldn't leave'. So move on as soon as you can (if you have a hard time doing this, elect someone to push you out the door, hand you your car keys, and drive home).

Why is this a prescription for success? Because it clearly positions you to deliver quickly, market your success, and move on to another great project. Too many times we let nostalgia, inertia, and pure laziness to keep us back when we need to move forward.

How To Run A Meeting People Like To Attend.

Impossible! Meetings suck! How can I run a meeting people actually like to attend? Most people don't realize how bad meetings reflect on their leadership, management, and reputation. A bad meeting can hurt you for weeks, months, or even years (sometimes FOREVER). With a few simple steps, you can virtually ensure a meeting which will please all attendees.

Here are some tips:

1. Make it short.

I always try to halve my meeting. If I need an hour, can I do it in 30 minutes? Two hours . . . 60 minutes? The shorter the meeting, the faster it will go (duh!) which is a boon for all the attendees. Stick to the topic at hand, don't try to do too much, keep the blabbers down to a minimum and you can get out of there in record time.

2. Start with the end in mind.

Have a goal. Most meetings stink because they slowly meander through issues, tasks, results, or presentations. Figure out EXACTLY what needs to happen, what are the deliverables, and ensure each attendee is prepared to make decisions quickly. Have an agenda and stick to it. Everyone will thank you profusely.

3. Prepare.

I can't tell you how many meetings I've attended where the organizer had absolutely no idea why we were there. Or they came late, had no agenda, let the meeting go WAY off-course, etc. Sit down and architect the meeting — it should take you no longer than five minutes. Layout how you will start, what you're going to present, what might happen, and what you want to walk away with.

4. Be visual, auditory, and kinesthetic.

People absorb information in different ways — if you are speaking another language, they won't get it. So make sure you hit their visual (eyes), auditory (ears), and kinesthetic (touch - hug them!). My modus operandi: Use slides (visual), present by speaking (auditory), and have a backup sheet of paper (kinesthetic).

5. Arrive early.

I hate when the organizer is late to their own meeting. Be there ahead of time to ensure the room is organized, there are enough chairs, the LCD projector and your laptop are ready to roll, the temp is perfect, your agendas are in front of each chair, etc. If there is a problem or emergency, you have time to take care of it. I usually book important meeting rooms 15-30 minutes prior to the meeting to ensure no one is there and I have time to set up.

6. Greet attendees.

Welcome them and get them prepared for the meeting. Most organizers are rushing around doing everything in #5 — stand by the door and welcome people as they arrive — it adds a certain touch of professionalism. Trust me here. Make sure you select a conference room which is tailored to your requirements, this way, you have everything you need.

7. Keep it flowing.

You are in the command chair. Stick to the agenda, keep your eye on the time and shut down anyone who tries to make it longer, take over the meeting, or goes way off topic. Ask to take their inquiries off-line and get back on-point.

8. Try to only attempt a few deliverables.

Too many organizers try to stick ten pounds of sugar in a five pound bag. Be realistic about what you can accomplish and focus only on the most important facts, information, and decisions. The more you try to add, you increase the chances of going off-course.

9. End early.

This is my gift to the attendees . . . TIME. Try to end 5-10 minutes early — don't try to 'fill-up' the entire hour. If the meeting is winding down, close it quickly and get people on their way. You will get a favored reputation that you run efficient and on-point meetings. People will like to attend them.

10. Stay after the meeting.

Stick around to thank people for attending, answer any questions people might have, and follow up on any errant requests from the attendees. The more face time you give at the end, the faster the meeting will go.

If you do these simple steps in each of your meetings, you will develop a solid reputation as an accomplished presenter. People will enjoy coming to your meetings and your reputation as a professional will soar.

Ethical Leadership — You Need A Mastermind Group.

In Napoleon Hill's bestselling book, Think & Grow Rich, he introduces a practice called The Master Mind Group. As an executive who wants to succeed, you should regularly assemble a grouping of professionals who will help you learn, understand and grow.

They could be an attorney, an accountant, a financial planner, a marketing/pr consultant, etc. At the end of the day, you need a grouping of smart individuals who know their areas cold and can help you with any problem, situation, or opportunity that might arise. You meet with them on a quarterly basis, off-site, usually for a full day (you also pay them for their time).

Let's look at this idea through a lens to pursue a highly ethical leadership style: Can you use this Master Mind Group practice to help you maintain (or regain) your high ethical standards? Yes, you can.

Look at the makeup of the group. You need highly reputable professionals that abide by ethical standards in their respective vocations. Now we all know that there are some miscreants who buck the system ethically (we are not talking about them) — we want the best, the brightest, AND the most ethical.

Choose an attorney, accountant, or financial planner of the highest ethical standards . . . Why? Because they will steer you straight ALL THE TIME. Adopt a 'Definite Purpose' as an objective to be attained by the alliance, choosing individual members whose education, experience and influence are such as to make them of the greatest value in achieving that purpose.

There isn't any use in forming a Master Mind Alliance just to have someone to chat with. Your Master Mind will fail if you don't have a strong motive behind it, and it's up to you to plant that motive in the minds of the group members. Your allies for this group should be chosen for their ability to help you get to where you are going. Do not choose people simply because you know them and like them.

You want the hard truth — you want these members to steer you straight and give you valuable advice.

When you have established rapport, you will find that ideas will flow into the minds of each of the members and likewise into your own mind. When the Master Mind is in effect, it produces ideas that would not come to your mind alone. I have had that experience many times when sitting in on the many groups of which I am a member on a consulting basis.

But in the end, you want these professionals to keep you on the straight and narrow and to help you when you are pulled into shady territory by investors, the board, your peers, etc. You need a voice of reason to help you navigate these treacherous waters.

Your Communication Skills Stink – Part Two.

Last week, I covered why communication is so important to business. Speaking with your clients, team, peers and boss are all critical to your success and are usually the nexus of problems when things go awry. See Part One here. If you break down the structure of communication, it really is the transmission of information. You say something, I respond. I say something, you respond.

It's a 'Give & Take' relationship, but sometimes the signal lines can be bad. The wires are compromised. Emotions get in the way.

And this can happen in a millisecond. It's probably happened to you — you are speaking with someone and suddenly — they shut down, they get an angry look on their face, or they bite back with venom. It's all happened to all of us — we chose the wrong word, or focused on the wrong example — and BAM! We get hit right in the nose. And it hurts.

Especially when communicating information. When selling to a prospect, instructing a team member, or speaking with a superior, one needs to be SO careful — here is the architecture of the conversation.

On one end is IDU — I Don't Understand. On the other is YDU — You Don't Understand.

IDU is the state where the person begins to shut down because you are speaking about a subject they don't know or understand. You are talking OVER their head. When it happens, the person starts to feel inferior or incompetent and they shut down.

YDU is the state where the person begins to get angry because YOU don't know or understand their situation. You are talking PAST them. When it happens, the person starts to feel angry or contempt for you — they begin to interrupt or sit and stew with anger.

IDU is on one end of the spectrum and YDU is on the other end. Your job is to remain in the middle with your communication, giving them info while ensuring you don't venture in IDU or YDU territory.

And the way to ensure this doesn't happen is to:

1. Watch for physical signals. They might start looking away or looking angry or impatient. They might not respond immediately or come back with a response that sounds frustrated or angry. On the phone, listen for typing or clicking — they are not listening, they are multi-tasking.
2. Ask questions along the way. Like: "Are you with me so far?" or "Am I speaking too quickly?" or " Do you want me to review any aspect of what I just covered?" or "Do you know this already?" This gives the receiver a chance to better understand the information and will quickly take you out of the IDU/YDU area.
3. Paraphrase their response. When they do respond, paraphrase what you just heard. This will quickly take you out of the YDU end of the spectrum.

Communication is so critical for your success — make sure it is TWO-WAY!

How To Solve ANY Problem.

Okay — the title might be a little misleading. If you just robbed a bank and are evading the authorities, this post will probably not work for you (sorry). But for most business and career problems — this will do just fine. Let me start by explaining what I call "The Whirlwind".

What's a "Whirlwind"? The offficial definition is: Whirlwind - Noun 1 : a small rotating windstorm of limited extent 2 : a confused rush : a whirlwind of meetings 3 : a violent or destructive force

Whenever we are faced with a powerful problem in our lives, we probably encounter The Whirlwind. It is a violent force that spins out of control in our heads. It mixes up our current thought processes, past failures, and future fears. In addition, it easily combines straightforward facts with a bevy of crazy emotions. To make it worse, there is usually a time, importance, or personnel component that just adds to the anxiety and severity.

And you wonder why you can't solve this problem.

What we normally do is keep this Whirlwind bottled up in our heads. We might even talk to a number of people about it — but most of the time, it just gets worse and you rarely ever solve the problem.

So what do you do? Get The Whirlwind Out Of Your Head!

You need a process to eliminate ALL emotions from your problem solving and develop factual options which eventually lead to a solution. Follow these rules to the letter (no deviation!):

1. Take out a sheet of paper or stand at a whiteboard.
2. Have a pencil or whiteboard marker ready to go.
3. At the top of the page (or board), write what the problem is. Be clear, succinct, and ensure that it covers what the problem is. As an example, you can write: "Interpersonal Issues With Tom: Duties, Meetings, Staff".
4. Define The Problem. Here's the catch: it can only be no more than 3 bullet points. Example: a. Tom cannot keep to his promised deadlines (over-promise, under-deliver). b. Tom has a hard time staying focused at his meetings and loses control of the group. c. Tom's staff is unfocused and are now coming to me for direction.
5. Develop possible solutions to each of the bullet points. Example: a. Tom cannot keep to his promised deadlines (over-promise, under-deliver). - Talk to Tom about this situation - refer to facts and instances only. Ask him how he would solve the problem. - Begin to manage Tom more closely. Schedule frequent, regular, but short meetings to cover progress. - Uncover what is the 'real' cause of Tom's inability to meet deadlines. - Follow up after one month - track progress.
6. Sometimes you might need to do a PROS & CONS list. Especially when balancing a difficult decision.

Bottom line — get the Whirlwind out of your head and get it on paper. You'll find that it will be so much easier to solve and you'll feel better in the long run.

The Number One Way People Get Derailed.

It happened to you again. It's happened to me. It's happened to all of us at one time or another. We blame other people, circumstances, luck, your parents, your family, and ultimately the finger always points back at YOU.

Only you can change your situation. But we sometimes are afraid of what might happen. We start making up elaborate stories about what 'will' happen. We get caught up with a lack of inspiration, confidence, focus, energy, and my favorite persistence. How don't you get derailed? 

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

I get a lot of business cues from watching Mad Men, a tv series based in an ad agency in the 1960's. During the last episode, the main character, Don Draper is frustrated at the firm's new win — Jaguar and Dunlop Tires. He states, " These are piddly-little companies — I want Chevy and Firestone. Forget Lucky Strike, I want Dow Chemical." His partner instantly retorts back, "This is the old Don Draper, I've missed him." And subsequently makes the Dow Chemical meeting happen.

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

Right now — what's the one thing you would do to make your career, your job, your business BETTER?

Who would you call? What would you do? What can you affect?

Here's the secret: Just Do It. Make It Happen.

Failure: How You Deceive Yourself Everyday.

Wonder why you don't get certain things accomplished? Why you hit the same obstacles every time? It comes down to a simple phrase one of my clients so eloquently related to me the other day:

"I know the little games I play with myself."

You see, we all play games in our head. I know of no one who has a personality which is so buttoned up that they perform at optimum efficiency. We think we know some people like that — but the real truth is — they play games too.

The secret is knowing what the games are and why we do it. It's the what and the why that will deliver the insight you need to move past these games.

What games am I speaking of?

Do you dodge people at work? Do you procrastinate on important things? Do you show up late to appointments and meetings? Do you let important and timely decisions lay fallow until the 'right' moment? Again — we ALL do it. So let's pick an easy one:

"I am always late on paying my bills."

WHAT: "I don't open bills until the last minute." That's the reason or the game we play.

WHY: We are afraid of having reality hit us square in the face. We know we spent a lot this month — now the bill is here and is waiting to be paid. But it might not be as bad as you think. But you'll never know until you open it.

And when you do — it immediately forces you to make a decision — where am I going to get the money to pay this? Or if I don't have the money — I have to get it. I either have to work harder or borrow from savings. AND — here's the best part — it forces us to alter our behavior to ensure it doesn't happen again.

And that's the hard part. But I want you to now place yourself in the spot of someone who opens their bills immediately, schedules or pays them immediately, and moves on. How does that sound? How does that feel? Pretty good.

So why aren't you doing it?

3 Books You Should Be Reading Right NOW.

I'm frequently asked by organizations in my business consulting area what are the best books their employees should read and refer to. Honestly, there are a lot of good books out there. And unfortunately, there are millions of stinkers out there too.

Today, everyone thinks they can write a book. But most of them suck (hey, it's my opinion).

Here are the three which have withstood the test of time and to this day influence millions of executives and employees throughout the world:

How to Win Friends & Influence People

By Dale Carnegie.

This is the bible — buy it and live it. This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated.

The Magic of Thinking Big

By David Schwartz.

Long regarded as one of the foremost experts on motivation, Schwartz will help you manage better, earn more money, and — most important of all — find greater happiness and peace of mind. He proves that you don’t need to have an innate talent to attain great success — but you do need to learn and understand the habit of thinking and behaving in ways that will get you there.

Linchpin — Are You Indispensable?

By Seth Godin

Linchpin is a most unusual, well-organized, concise book about what it takes to become indispensable in the workplace – whether you work for someone else (at any level) or are self-employed. It’s about how business has rapidly changed and how treating employees like factory workers (or doing your job like one) doesn’t work any longer. We must make choices and take action to “chart our own paths” and add value that others do not.

We cannot wait for a boss or a job description to tell us what to do, rather we must just take the initiative ourselves. Only then can we become indispensable “linchpins,” rather than replaceable “cogs.” ”You don’t become indispensable merely because you are different. But the only way to become indispensable is to be different. That’s because if you’re the same, so are plenty of other people.

I recommend these three books DAILY to my clients.

Go out and buy them for your iPad or even better, pick up the audiobook and devour it.

#001: Bulletproof Your Career [Podcast]

Welcome to my new podcast, Psycho Career & Career Psycho. Like my blog, it focuses on the trials and tribulations we all face in the business world. My goal is to help you live with more passion, work with greater focus, and lead with extraordinary influence.

My co-host is Margo Meeker, one of the best psychotherapists and life coaches out there. I've known Margo for years and have collaborated on many successful workshops with her throughout the U.S..

Why Psycho Career & Career Psycho? First, we wanted to catch people's attention and imagination with the title. We didn't want to do "Biz Talk" or "On The Road" or "Marketplace with Mabel" — we wanted a title that caught your imagination and honestly conveyed what's happening out there in the world right now. It's crazy! There are psychos out there! :)

Also, we wanted to cover what Margo is — a psychotherapist/life coach — and me — a business and executive career coach. So it fits!

We hope to make this a fairly regular podcast (hopefully weekly!). But for now, we are testing the waters and seeing where the rapids take us.

Our first podcast topic is 'Bulletproof Your Career' - how to keep your job and succeed in these tumultuous times. Margo and I cover the four areas critical for every person out there to keep their wits about them while making their way up the ladder of success.

We would LOVE your feedback - tell us what you think!

So without further ado . . . here's our podcast (see top of post)!

The Ten Commandments Of Leadership.

Leadership is not easy. It's tough. It's unpredictable. It takes focus, determination, and most of all opportunity. Leadership cannot be planned - it happens in the moment. So I've put together the top ten commandments of leadership to help you anticipate a leadership moment:

1. Think before you speak.

As leaders, we are always trying to help and solve the problem. Or when it's time to take a team member out to the woodshed. We tend to speak and act first, and take prisoners later. Stop for a second and THINK. What's the BEST way to go about this?

Instead of solving the problem, how about letting the person suggest some of their own solutions? Instead of getting angry at a team member, ask them what they think they did wrong. Sometimes people are harder on themselves — and in the end, these actions become learning experiences that stick forever.

2. Push your people. Get them to do scary things.

I've always had my people push themselves — take on at least one scary project which takes them WAYYY out of their comfort zone. This allows them to grow in their position, deliver the best they can do, and most of all NOT GET BORED.

If you keep them performing at an optimal level on one of their projects, these behaviors will spread to the other activities they execute. If they fail or fall short, you're there to catch them and then help them at that point on.

3. What's the right thing to do? Evangelize ethics in everything you do.

People look up to you and see what you do. In everything you do. If you gossip, they will gossip. If you cheat a client, they will too. As a leader, you become the moral mirror image for all of your people.

In addition, try to encourage the right behavior in your people — if they come to a philosophical crossroads, ask them what would be the RIGHT thing to do.

4. Show them the way. Be visionary.

We get too caught up in the politics and tactics of our job. Good leaders consistently keep their eye on the long term benefits and goals. Teach your people to goal-set, plan, monitor, and assess for every project and activity they do.

Give them the long picture — where you want to see the company go, the division, the department and ultimately, them. Give it life, make it visionary, get them involved.

5. Don't take on any monkeys. You will never lead your team.

First, read this great HBR report (it's from 1974 and it's one of their most read reports). It's the standard to help you lead and manage your team — don't let them drop monkeys on your desk — help them solve their own problems.

In fact, this commandment should be emblazoned on the wall behind your desk: "Don't come to me with a problem unless you have one or more solutions.".

6. Fight the good fight. Take a stand.

Never be wishy-washy on anything important. Your people will see that immediately. Analyze the pros and cons, take the end result into account, and make a decision. If you're wrong, admit it immediately and change course. But we get so caught up in the decision process — being afraid of making the wrong decision, we make the situation worse.

If someone or something is going after your department or one of your people and they are clearly wrong, defend them to the death. There might be some people who might say you're committing political suicide, but I feel if you and your team are in the right, it will ultimately surface in your favor.

7. Be strategic, monitor tactical.

Too many leaders try to micromanage. Don't make this mistake. Focus on the big picture and how all of the pieces fit together. Don't worry about the day to day, monitor it with your people's input, but keep them focused on the goalposts.

8. Communicate clearly.

Many leaders mistake intelligence with obfuscation. They use big words, grand designs, and ornate constructs to communicate their goals. BAD IDEA. If your people have to decipher what you are looking for, you exponentially increase the opportunity for them to misunderstand your message and do the wrong thing.

Be clear, concise, and straightforward in ALL of your communications — you'll find things move that much faster and people get your drift immediately.

9. Be confident, not cocky.

The difference between cockiness and confidence:

• Cockiness - "I know that. We've been doing that for years."
• Confidence - "Wow, I didn't know that. Tell me more."

Which person do you like to work with? Most everyone likes to work with a confident person — someone who is comfortable in their own shoes, someone who is not afraid to not know something and is inquisitive to find out more. One of the goals of leadership is to get your people to absorb and display your leadership attributes in their day-to-day work. Who do you want to work with — a confident ally or a cocky jerk?

10. Understand the 'meta' in every conversation.

This is a big one — what's the BIG picture? When you are speaking with someone, giving a presentation, holding a status meeting — give people the 5,000 foot picture and then zoom up to the 50,000 level.

Tell them what really is happening, what is the REAL reason the company is doing something. Most of the time, your people don't have a clue about what is going on and it's your job to give them the big picture.

4 Tips To Say "NO" and Make It Stick.

Telling someone 'No' is one of the hardest actions (even for an accomplished leader). Here are some strategies to help you make it easier:

1. Is it right for the company?

This was always my first hurdle with any major (or minor) decision with my colleagues or clients. Many suggestions or requests usually have a focus — do they ultimately benefit your company or just the person requesting the decision?  You'll find if you look through that lens, the balance is skewed more towards personal advancement and less towards the company as a whole. One way to send them away is to have them skew the balance much more in favor to the company.

2. Is it right at this time?

You're not saying 'Never', you're just saying 'Not now'. As a leader, things come at you fast and furious.Many people, many decisions — some requests are good, some are not so good. Your people are energized and built to deliver instantaneous decisions to problems they see in their universe. Their solutions might take on additional cost, resources, and people. Sometimes you just have to say 'Not now'. By putting it off for future consideration, it allows the problem to sometimes fix itself or go away and allows you to teach an important lesson to your colleague — not everything needs fixing immediately.

3. Acknowledge their request.

Sometimes, people just want acknoledgement. They want to feel listened to and special. So give them the stage. You can ask questions and have them walk you through their thinking — understand what is involved, and the who, where, when, and how. As they broaden your understanding of the strategy, it makes it easier for you to either accept it (because it's a good idea) or pick it apart (because it's a bad one).

4. Don't take on too much responsibility.

You do not want another monkey on your back (check out this great HBR article I recommend to all of my clients). Many times, when colleagues are asking you to say 'Yes', it usually entails some added responsibility on your end. Some deliverable, some oversight, some action which adds to your workload. When this happens, try to turn it around and never let the monkey get on your back in the first place. Most of the time, when you don't accept any responsibility for the decision, the idea goes away of it's own accord.

Or sometimes you just have to come out and say NO.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Do you have a hard time saying NO? Let’s talk. I’ve coached thousands of executives who need to change the dynamic — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.