Don't Small Talk, Have Courageous Conversations.

Why do people hate networking events? Usually it's full of people who are all talking small. "How's business?" " There's a lot of people here." "How's the food?" "That's a great tie."

Shoot me now. We all hate these events - executives, vendors, and business owners alike. Unfortunately, we've been told that we have to go to them to grow our business. And they're right.

You have to regularly break out of your bubble and meet new people. Interact and market your product/service to get traction.

But how many events have you attended early in the morning or late into the evening that just sucked? Tons.

I have a technique to make them Powerful, Engaging, & Fun. Here are some of the things I do to dump the small talk and have courageous conversations:

1. Take An Avid Interest In The Person You're Speaking To. 

Most of the time, people are only thinking of themselves. In fact, many people closely listen to what you're saying only to anticipate a pause so they can talk.

Take the time to LISTEN to what the other person is saying and frequently add energizing sounds and body language to keep them going.

Paraphrase what they just said and insert a follow-up question to dig deeper into what they are commenting on.

2. Act Like A Host.

What do hosts do? They make their guests feel comfortable, at home, start fun conversations, and selflessly connect people together to build a strong networking circle of professionals.

What's wrong with acting like a host (even if you aren't the host) and helping your fellow attendees accomplish all of these goals?

I love to walk up to a group and ask everyone how they like the wine/food/room — they always positively comment and immediately invite me into their conversation. Try it.

3. Talk About Scary Subjects.

Instead of the weather, think of assertive, strong questions to get people out of their shell. Some I've used:

"So, what's your big project for 2017? How's it going so far?" "What new things are you trying to launch?" "Favorite super-power: Flying or X-Ray Vision?" (I love this one - ask me how it works) "Did you hire anyone new this year? What was the one quality that shined for you?" "What client do you absolutely despise? Why? Why don't you fire them?" "What's the scariest thing you've done in the past few years?"

Now understand, some of these work with new acquaintances — some will only work with friends or when you've conversed for a certain amount of time.

4. Open Up.

Once you've made an initial connection, try to open up and talk about serious topics. Once you get to know the, let them know that you just lost a client or that the product you just launched isn't doing that great (as an example). Being honest and authentic is so much better than fake and boring.

5. It Not All About YOU.

Don't go there only looking for business. In fact, frame your perspective around helping others. "I am going to try to connect everyone I meet to someone I know to help them build their business/career."

Givers Gain — make sure to try to help everyone (okay - not everyone - there are some lost causes in every bunch).

If you try just one of these — you will transform your typical, boring networking event into an exciting and memorable soirée. Be Courageous!

You Can Be The Best You Can Be.

I came up with a simple and powerful tool the other day. I was standing in my office in front of a large Post-It notepad sheet with a red sharpie in my hand (red delivers intention!) — and the ideas just flowed. What did I come up with to help you be the best? To be the best you can be, there are four stages to success — Find Me, Want Me, Sell Them, Close Them. This works for the corporate executive, to the aspiring entrepreneur, all the way to the person in transition. It's simple, it's direct, and it works. Let me explain each one:

STAGE ONE: FIND ME

We go through our lives partially hidden to key influential people and once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. We either sit at our desk toiling away, make cold calls to people who don't want our services, or hide at home and send out electronic résumés to closed positions. And we wonder why we aren't moving up, getting the best clients, or landing that dream job. It's frustrating.

The best businesses are easy to find - a big sign, the best location — the ability to stand out and be a billboard so millions of people can see you:

• Executive: When was the last time you introduced yourself to the leaders in you organization? Do they know you?

• Business Owner: New signage, new website, new branding — getting out and touching lots of people?

• Transitional: Keywords on LinkedIn, writing articles, hitting industry meetings, hitting the library?

STAGE TWO: WANT ME

Okay — now we are being seen by the powers that be. What do we do now? We want them to WANT US. How do we do that?

You need to develop your own personal brand that will engage your audience and get them to see your ability, your product, and your talents:

• Executive: What can you do to really help your company? If you've done it, do you brag about it? Be bold.

• Business Owner: What one thing do you do that can change people's lives or fill a hole in their life? Spotlight your brand.

• Transitional: Polish your image and brand - hit the gym, change your fashions, and show them what you can do for them. No begging.

STAGE THREE: SELL THEM

They've seen us and they want us. It's time to sell them and show them we are the best choice (this is where most fail).

You need to develop an iron-clad delivery that will make them better understand what you can do for them and that you're the only person on this earth who can do it. Find the BURNING issue that keeps them awake at night and show them how you will solve it.

• Executive: Think big - what are the real issues your company/industry are facing right now? Figure out some powerful solutions.

• Business Owner: Who are your biggest/best customers? What aren't you doing for them that will change their life?

• Transitional: It's not what you did - it's what you can do for them RIGHT NOW. Pinpoint what that is and deliver it.

STAGE FOUR: CLOSE THEM

Everyone forgets this one. They market, produce the itch, and make the sale — then they forget to close or leave them hanging.

Once you've sold them — get them to sign on the dotted line. Don't feel that it's their job to jump into the boat after you've hooked them — take them off your line and place them nicely in your cooler.

• Executive: Once they are interested in you — try to offer yourself to help them with a major initiative or pitch. You have the time.

• Business Owner: Once they are sold — make the closing process simple, easy, transparent, and fluid. It should be pleasurable for the customer.

• Transitional: Ask for the job. Get them to commit. Show them that you can leave for a better opportunity. Sign on the dotted line.

If you stick to this method and produce key deliverables for each stage — I promise you — you will be THE BEST YOU CAN BE.

Treading Water Is The Same As Drowning.

Many people today feel they are just 'one bad decision away' from losing their job or business. So instead of making decisions, they make NO decision. Or if they have to make a decision, they take the least offensive, least impactful, least expensive, and most spineless way out. Most of the time, that's the wrong thing to do.

What happens? You ensure management is happy while you infuriate your staff, vendors, and smart clients.

Who thinks big and takes chances? Apple.

• In 1998 — they launched the iMac without a floppy disk drive ("How will we transfer files?).
• In 2007 — they launched the iPhone - no experience (joining the fray with huge, entrenched leaders).
• In 2010 — they launched the MacBook Air without a DVD drive ("How will I watch movies?").
• In 2016 — they launched a new MacBook Pro with 4 USB-C ports ("How will I connect my stuff?).

Each time the media made fun of them and pundits attacked. One year later, everyone embraced the change and moved forward. The result? One of the biggest companies on the planet with a product line admired by all.

To move up and to be noticed by the people that matter, you need to be bold and sometimes stick your neck out. You might hit a home run (most of the time) and sometimes, you might get it cut off (rarely).

That's why I suggest to my clients that they all have INSURANCE. For example:

• An up-to-date résumé, done by a professional, ready to be distributed at a moment's notice.
• A polished and professional LinkedIn page, with recent professional headshot, testimonials, etc.
• Actively networking and connecting with movers and shakers outside of your sphere.
• Learning new things about your industry, taking classes, reading books and writing about what you learn.
• Attending events (industry symposiums, charities, etc.).
• Finally, hire a coach — they help you perform at your peak and help you make the tough decisions.

Once you have those things in your back pocket, it's not that hard to make the tough decisions that need to be made.

Here's a powerful scene with John Goodman (it's a bit rough with the language — but you'll get the gist):

Networking Sucks.

There — I said it. Networking sucks. Anyone who likes networking isn't networking, they're connecting (stick with me).

Anyone who hates networking is probably networking. And doing it badly.

If you meet someone and they try to 'sell' you on their product or service, that's networking. What they really should be doing is connecting. Connecting is where you try to 'connect' with that person. Where . . .

• You take a concerted interest in who that person is and what they do.
• You get them interested in you (not your business).
• You get them to feel your passion, intensity, enthusiasm, confidence, single-minded purpose, & fearlessness.
• The feeling we’ve won the game before it starts.

Because if I bumped into someone who portrayed half of those qualities — I most certainly would want to get to know them better. And help them. And mention them to my clients.

Why You Don't Meet People For Lunch.

You're too busy for lunch. We're all busy — you might have time management or delegation issues. Or you can't say 'NO'. It takes too much time. No it doesn't — and I'll show you a way to make it much shorter.

I wouldn't know what to talk about. You shouldn't talk — ask lots of questions and LISTEN.

I hate people. Okay — you got me there. Move to a far-away land and live like a hermit.

To have a healthy business or career, you should be meeting someone for lunch at least once a week (if not more). That's 52 new or strengthened relationships built in a year. Connecting with people bring new ideas, new strategies, and new energy to your mind and body. It's an essential part of the business cycle. But for some reason, you don't do it.

Sometimes going out to lunch takes too much time:

• Closing up what your doing, getting on your coat and exiting your building - 10 minutes
• Traveling to the lunch location - 10-20 minutes
• Arriving early - 10 minutes
• Lunch - 60-90 minutes
• Traveling from the lunch location - 10-20 minutes
• Entering your office, coat off, getting settled, and back to what you were doing - 10 minutes

All totaled, we're talking 110-160 minutes — virtually 2-3 hours out of your workday. Now some people would say (like me), "It's part of the job and I have to schedule around it." But most people will say, "Candidly, I don't have 2-3 hours to waste out of my workday." AND THEY NEVER HAVE ANOTHER BUSINESS LUNCH.

I've solved that problem. Don't have that lunch.

Instead, I call people in the morning. Every day, I pick two people who I want to call to touch base and see how they're doing. What do I do?

• I make sure I catch them at a weird time - 7:30 AM or 5:30 PM. I call when they don't expect it.
• I keep it REALLY short - no more than 10 minutes.
• I energize my voice and keep the tone and rhythm to keep their attention.
• I keep the call all about them - I ask questions, listen, follow up with more questions.
• I add humor, anecdotes, or anything I can think of to make my call FUN.
• I then say, "I've taken too much of your time, let me let you go..."
• I end with an intention, "Let's connect again in a few months..."
• And then I hang up. 

Bang! Connected with a colleague in 10 minutes. They feel good about you — you feel good about them — and you've refreshed your relationship with a past friend, colleague, or client. It's SO easy. When you call them again in 3-6 months, they will be happy to receive your call because it will be short and energize their day. THEY WILL WANT TO TALK WITH YOU!

Here's the best part — if you work 250 days a year, you can connect with over 500 people. Think of the possibilities!

Try it — my charge to you this morning is to reach out to two people and talk with them for no more than 10 minutes. You will find it so easy to do. And it works!

P.S. Here's the REAL reason I do it — they feel good about you, they remember you . . . and they recommend you. My business is BOOMING!

Top 10 Most Read Articles In 2014.

Every year, I go back and track my website analytics to uncover what articles really resonated with my readers. Here are my top ten for 2014 to get you ready for 2015!

1. The Most Important Thing You Should Do In The Shower.

Acknowledge and feel gratitude for all the special things in your life.

2. How To Network Like A Pro.

Last night, I was invited to attend a gala event at the prominent investment firm in NYC. Here are some key techniques that I used to make the night a fruitful and productive one.

3. Build The Best Standing Desk For Your Office.

Lately, I’ve been reading about the healthy aspects of standing desks and learned about all the attributes of standing: better posture, more active, easy to reach items, etc.

4. Be Like Jack LaLanne.

I grew up with Jack LaLanne. I used to watch him every morning on TV. Jack taught me a lot of things about life — especially to stay positive all the time.

5. How To Eliminate Guilt About Not Doing Everything.

Some Shiny Objects are good. Some are bad. Let’s talk about the BAD Shiny Objects.

6. Be A Better Leader – 30 Leadership Hacks For Managers.

Here are my top 30 hacks to make you a better leader.

7. Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

When dying patients were questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five.

8. Five Tips To Fix A Bad Relationship With Your Boss.

You're getting the feeling your relationship has soured with your boss. How do you repair it?

9. Hitting A Wall In Your Career? You Need A Breakthrough.

It's tough today. It’s hard when everything is coming at you. Hard to think. Hard to act. Hard to react. As they always say — the first step is always the hardest.

10a. You’re Not Charging Enough For Your Services - Part One

10b. How To Charge More For Your Services. - Part Two

I received a huge response from readers who requested a number of techniques to help them raise their pricing. It became a two-part article. Enjoy!

If you truly want to change your life, career, or business this year. Check out my complimentary Test Drive.

How To Network Like A Pro.

Last night, I was invited to attend a gala event at the prominent investment firm in NYC. There were 500-600 people there to meet, greet, and listen to great speakers talk about the market.  I was invited by one of my past clients - so I didn't break in uninvited like I usually do. Just kidding.

Here are some key techniques that I used to make the night a fruitful and productive one:

1. Don't Go To Ask For Leads, Go There To Help People Get Leads.

So many people HATE networking. Why? When you go around a room full of begging for business and connections, it SUCKS. You have to change your perspective 180° and go to HELP people and not ask for help. You are there to connect — get to know them, understand their needs, and figure out how to help them.

2. Show Up Early.

Ensure that you actually get there and are parked safely way ahead of time. With traffic, wrong turns and accidents, you never know what will impact your travel. It also gives you time to get the lay of the land, see how people are dressed/acting, and talk to some of the support staff to learn about the building/event. My client actually scoped out the location the day before, got a guided tour of the building from security, and learned all about the history of the building - which he used as a talking point when he networked. BRAVO!

3. Wear Your Nametag The RIGHT Way.

Bring your own in addition to the one that they provide. Nametags are CRITICAL to the networking process. Unfortunately, most event planners get a big 'F-' when they design the nametag. Usually, your name (the most important item on the nametag) is too small and their logo is too big. Morgan Stanley did it right - my name was nice and big (even enlarging my first name) all to make it stand out and readable from a distance. I also had my personal nametag in my breast pocket of my suit - just in case they failed misarably with the layout. Also - pin/clip your nametag to your left lapel (right side if you are looking down). Why? When you shake hands with someone, it allows their eyes to follow up your arm to your nametag. Trust me - this is the best way for people to remember your name.

4. Triangulate Your Body.

When networking with a partner, many people tend to face one another. This is a huge faux pas. By doing this, you literally cut yourself off from everyone else and announce (with your body language) that any intrusion into your conversation is not welcome. My client and I actively 'triangulated' ourselves at a 45 degree angle when we spoke. This invited others to mingle in and introduce themselves without fear of intrusion.

5. Always Have A Free Hand.

Juggling a drink and an appetizer plate? Put one down. Always have a free hand to shake hands, make a point, or touch someone to enforce an idea. I can't tell you how many people bumble and juggle their drink/food when you first meet them. It doesn't leave a good first impression.

6. Act Like A Host.

Nervous about walking up to people and introducing yourself? Just act like a host - walk up, introduce yourself, and ask how their night is going. Or how the food is. Or is their wine up to snuff. They will never ask you if you are the host - they will just infer that you are an important person and you care about their welfare. A great way to start a professional relationship!

7. Always Talk About THEM.

Bottom line, who cares about you? Only YOU. So always position the conversation around the person you are talking to. Use my technique - Ask a question, listen, repeat. The more your ask questions, the more you learn about the person you are talking to AND the more that they are engaged into the conversation. This allows you to position and align any answers you provide to their interests.

There are so many more - but these are the best for now.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Want to expand your networking success? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with thousands of people who wanted to take assertive steps in this area — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

Are You Feeling Guilty At Work?

I'm feeling guilty today. The funny thing is . . . I shouldn't. Every Tuesday, like clockwork, I attend my networking/sales team meeting with approximately 50 people.

It's called BNI (Business Networking International), a worldwide organization where businesspeople meet to learn about their services and deliver hot referrals (CLIENTS) each week. I find it powerful for my business (it delivers 40-45% of my clients each year) and wouldn't miss it for the world. In fact, if you have a business or a product to sell, BNI is THE place to go to increase your bottom line.

What happened?

Today, I'm missing my weekly meeting. I had to double-book a client over my meeting and could not schedule it for any other time this week. They HAD to meet at this time. And I did ALL the right things a BNI member should do:

I notified the leadership team of my absence.

I replace my open spot for the week with a great substitute who will do my commercial.

I let the visitor host team know of my sub so they could list them on our weekly roster.

And I did it all on-time, prior to our meeting.

I still feel guilty. I feel that I'm letting my colleagues down even though I've taken all the steps to ensure my absence is covered this week. Why do I feel guilty?

I feel like I'm letting my BNI colleagues down.

I feel that I'm missing out on something good.

That regular burst of enthusiasm I receive from attending will not be there this week.

Honestly, I shouldn't feel guilty. NOT ONE BIT. Why? Guilt is all about the PAST. And guess what? There's nothing I can do about it. NOTHING. It's in the past.

I've made a decision, I've prepared my absence — I've taken all the steps to ensure I shouldn't feel guilt about missing my meeting. So it's time to confront my guilt and realize I have to live in the present and move on from this 'fake' feeling. Why?

It's holding me back — I'm focusing on something that really doesn't matter.

I'm expending mental and physical energy towards a belief that is not true.

I'm not focusing on the present or planning for the future. This is where I can make serious progress towards my goals.

So the next time you feel GUILTY, remember it's all in the past and there's nothing you can really do about it. Take that guilt and repurpose its energy into the present and future. You will find yourself working faster, better, and with more enthusiasm.

Guilt is a mechanism for us to remember past mistakes so we don't repeat them — don't let it paralyze you.

I'D LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR GUILT AT WORK. LET ME KNOW BELOW.

Top 10 Reasons Why You're Not Getting A Job.

As a business and career coach, I run into so many different people every day. I attend conferences and events, I run workshops and webinars, and I host team masterminds for all types of professionals. And guess what? When I talk to the unemployed, I've heard all the excuses why you don't have a job. Here are the top ten realities of your job search today:

1. You're waiting for the phone to ring or the limo to pull up to your house and whisk you off to your new position.

This is my #1 pet peeve when I host job-search workshops. People say they are busy, they're sending out resumes, but the reality is they are mentally waiting for a knight in shining armor to whisk them away to a new cushy position. Guest what . . . it's never going to happen. NEVER.

Unless you're a recently fired CEO with massive connections to firms who want to hire you and subsequently ruin their company, no one is going to call and no one is driving up with a black stretch limo. Once you realize you are on your own and only YOU can change your situation, it's time for a mental ass-kick to get your head on straight.

What To Do: You want an mental ass-kick? Start listening to motivational speakers to keep your mental energy level up and constant. Check out Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie, Jeffrey Gitomer, and my favorite Bennie Hsu at Get Busy Living Podcast. He's the best!

2. You rarely go out.

You get up at 9 AM, you probably don't take a shower, you get dressed in your old geriatric Adidas sweatsuit, and sit in front of your laptop. WRONG!

What To Do: Get up at 5 AM, go for a walk/run outside, take a shower, and get dressed in real clothes. You don't like it? TOUGH. This is your workday and for the next 8-10 hours, I am your drill sergeant and you will deliver 110% looking for a job every Monday through Friday. Set up a schedule which takes you outside every single day. Meet people for coffee, hit the library, go to the gym, walk around the park. Strike up conversations with people — you never know who you will meet.

3. You check the web for postings, send out a few resumes, and watch Ellen, Rachael, and Jerry the rest of the day.

Unemployment is not a vacation. You have to attack your job search like any project you've ever delivered at work.

What To Do: You have to:

• Focus on the marketplace - What companies are doing well? Where are the growth areas? Who are the movers and shakers?
• Analyze your attributes against your competition - Do a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis on YOU. Figure out how you leverage your strengths and opportunities.
• Develop key targets to go after - Analyze your commuting radius, find out all the potential industries and organizations within your circle, and begin to make a hit list.
• Execute - Go after each one incrementally in a cascade pattern to ensure you are not inundated with tasks, but your search is progressing in a healthy fashion.

4. Your industry has changed.

You actually thought people were going to buy slide-rules FOREVER. Yes, that's right, you're industry is changing. And guess what? Everyone's industry is changing. Some are morphing into other forms, some are merging, many are shrinking, and a lot are just plum going out of business. If you thought you could keep your job or profession for 30 years, I have a DeLorean to sell you.

What To Do: Figure out where your industry is going and either stick around for the very bumpy ride or jump off at the station for the next train. Get to thee library, my dear young minstrel and start understanding what is really happening in the marketplace. Read the WSJ, Medium, BusinessWeek, Fast Company, Inc, and Foundr. Also meeting with industry luminaries doesn't hurt either.

5. You're too old.

Where did the time go? You were having so much fun as an executive in a corner office working on strategy and mergers, you never saw the axe coming for you until it was too late. Now you're 55 and no one wants you. Let me rephrase that — no 20-year old in HR wants you. The minute they do the college graduate math in their head (or on their calculator), your résumé is flying faster than a 767 into the circular file. And the funny thing is you keep doing it.

What To Do: Stop repeating something which doesn't work and expecting something different. You have to get out of the HR/Recruiter trap and move up the ladder and meet/engage/schmooze the hiring managers. Go to industry events, reach out to them via LinkedIn/Twitter, and google their name to get to know them. Then reach out and try to meet them.

6. You're too young.

Where did the time go? You were just in college wowing them with your 4.0 GPA and now no one will take your calls because you have no experience.

What To Do: It's time for you to get some experience! You need to call in every chip on the poker table of life and have them connect you with possible paid intern/entry level positions. Let's get real — you might have a little bit of knowledge, but your don't have the experience to hit deadlines consistently, run a meeting, handle an angry client, manage a boss, or run a complex project. You have to take a small hit position/salary-wise and build up those talents before you really hit the big leagues of life.

7. You're unrealistic about your position and your salary.

"Look, I was Vice President of Strategic Initiatives with a yearly base salary of $275K. Why doesn't anyone want me?"

What To Do: There are a finite number of positions out there which might fit your position/salary requirements, but you will never find them in time. I know, you might run into them, but most likely, NOT. You have to be a bit flexible on the Who/What/Where/How Much in the current marketplace. Try to broaden your scope and see what else is out there. It might not be a VP position, or one drowning in strategy. It might be a bit lower than $275K a year — but then again, it's higher than the $0/year you're pulling in now (great tax benefits though).

8. You have a glass-half-empty mentality.

No one likes a whiner. I just spoke with a prospect this week who could not stop talking about all the bad bosses and decisions they've made in the past 10 years. The first rule of your job search: Never, ever, say bad things about your past. Not only does it cloud anyone's opinion of you, it brings your mental state down into the basement.

What To Do: Start imagining what life would be like if you had that wonderful position RIGHT NOW. Where would you be? Who would you be working with? What would you be doing? How would you get there. Stop thinking and feeling guilty about the past and start preparing for your glorious future. Get your head half-full immediately.

9. You're afraid of Thinking Big and reaching out to the real power-brokers.

No one is going to think big for you (except me). You hamstring your search and actions by being risk-averse. You're afraid of rejection and will never put yourself in a position of actually touching key movers and shakers in your industry. No . . . you will continue to interview with 20-year-old HR reps who text more than they think and wonder why you don't have a killer position.

What To Do: Get a piece of paper and write down what would be your PERFECT job. Now actualize it in your universe — find those companies who fit the bill and reach out to the key people who run those positions. The funny thing is . . . these same people are always on the lookout for new talent. You're just not putting yourself onto their radar.

10. You've given up.

You've tried again and again to get a job offer, an interview or even a solid connection and it seems the cards are stacked against you. It's been years since you've worked and you're draining your savings account to keep your household afloat.

What To Do: You can always try again. Take a different tack, work on an alternate strategy, reach out to new people. In fact, I just worked with a client who was unemployed for two years and within three months, he had a number of offers and took an incredible job. You never know where your next break will occur.

Free image provided by iStockPhoto.

How To Give A Good Compliment.

Here’s something I’ve found to help me open up conversations, give people a lift, and raise my self-esteem at the same time. There’s nothing like a warm, sincere compliment to make your day. Instead of waiting for one, why not give one out? Take it from me, the more you give, the more you find you’ll receive.

Make your compliment specific. “That necklace looks really good on you” makes a bigger impact compared to “you look really good today”. The more specific the better, it makes the person feel like you notice them.

Back up your compliment. Don’t just stop at “that necklace looks really good on you”. Your compliment becomes stronger when you say why you think so; “that necklace looks really good on you because it matches your eyes”.

Ask a question with your compliment. And if you want to use it as a conversational starter, ask a question about the subject of your compliment; “that necklace looks really good on you because it matches your eyes. Where did you find it?”.

Why Giving Compliments Raises Your Self-Esteem It takes confidence and self-esteem to notice good things about others and to make the first caring move to tell them about it.

When I first started giving compliments I was awkward and shy about it. I kept wondering if I’d offend them in some way or make people suspicious about what I wanted from them. I’ve since discovered that a sincere compliment is always a welcome boost to someone’s day. There will be those that reject it or will even argue with you, but that’s usually their problem and not yours. A compliment is like a gift, if someone doesn’t want your gift you’ll still end up owning it. The best way to accept one is also like a gift, just say ‘thank you’. You’ll also find when you start noticing good things about people, you’ll notice more good things about you too! And the more you do, the more your own self-esteem will grow.

10 Simple Tips To Attract The Best Clients.

Getting clients is easy, hard, fun, frustrating, energizing and enervating. Most of all, you never know what to expect — one day no one is saying yes and the next, you close five clients. Here are my ten top strategies I use every day to make clients knock on my door:

1. Communicate effectively with your potential client base.

You need a killer web site — not just one that sits there. It must actively reach out and grab prospects. So it will take a lot of work, but you'll see results immediately. In addition, design great business cards, brochures (sometimes), and a powerful 30-second talk about what you do.

2. Work with people smarter than yourself.

This has two angles:

1. If you don't know how to execute something critical for your business, hire someone. I know it will cost money, but most people think they can do it themselves. Result: it takes forever to build/implement, it's wrong, and then they ultimately hire someone to clean up the mess.
2. Get clients who add to your knowledge base — help them in one area, but be a knowledge vampire and suck out key strategies, tips, and avenues you will embed into your company.

3. Develop a networking relationship with your competitors.

I actively court coaches, while most of my counterparts are wary and shun theirs. Not only is it a 'good' thing to do (embrace everyone), but you find the differences between your vocations and allows you to give referrals to one another.

4. Create packages to meet your client’s needs.

The first time out of the gate, you usually have to guess what your clients requires — so you need to remain flexible and change your offerings slowly. Initially, I used to coach for an hour, but found the extra 15 minutes turned into a coffee klatch, so I shortened my sessions to 45 minutes. It's perfect — and if I really need extra time for an extra-special client, I have it.

5. Do pro-bono work for charitable organizations.

The bigger, the better. Not only does it position you in a wonderful light, it throws you into a mix of influencers who truly appreciate your skills. The more visibility you have, the more people know about you. In addition, always take on a number of pro-bono clients each month — it's just the right thing to do.

6. Write an eBook for your target market — and give it away.

You need to harness the knowledge/experience in your brain and spread it out into the marketplace. Most businesspeople tend to hoard it like a miser — successful people freely expose it to the world and clients come banging at their door. It doesn't have to be long — just put a few powerful ideas in a short article, give it a snappy title, and offer it for free on your site. Also, have copies made and hand it to anyone who breathes.

7. Set Up “Power Meetings”.

Master the act of  networking with the right people. Most men and women tend to meet with anyone — you'll quickly find out there are many 'time-wasters' who might be fun initially, but in the end, suck valuable money from your pockets (time is money). You know who your target market is (if you don't, call me) — chase and connect with them.

8. Work at least two hours a day to get clients.

"Rich are you crazy?" No, I'm not. You should be meeting, setting up lunches, expanding your website, talking on the phone and a myriad of other strategies to get clients. My motto — if business is good, slowly power down your marketing. If business is bad, rocket up your marketing. But always find at least two hours a day to keep your client pipeline full and healthy.

9. Master the cold call approach.

Face it — ultimately you will need to reach out to strangers to get the business you want. Don't procrastinate and never do it — learn how to reach out to key targets, entice them, and get in front of them. If you do your homework, for every strikeout you will hit a home run (and sometimes a grand slam), trust me.

10. MCA - take massive action.

MCA stands for Massive Client Acquisition — the state of mind where you need to target, hunt, and capture large swaths of your client base. Take the necessary steps to grow your clientele — get out and network, reach out via a killer website, thrill people with your abilities, give away your intellectual capital, wear huge holes in your shoes, and lose your voice from all the talking you will do.

Bottom line: Think like a salesperson — you need to get up every day and get your butt out the door. Stop putting distance between you and your prospects — close the gap and you'll have to begin turning them away.

What else do you do to get clients? If you've tried any of these tools, how did they work?

Image provided by Marjorie Lipan at Flickr.

Why Lunches Are Good For Your Career.

Today's Thursday!Rush to work — get in — check your email — check your voicemail — and run off to your status meetings.

WORK. WORK. WORK. WORK. WORK.

Next thing you know, it's 6 PM and you're wondering where the day went.

I want you to make a change today. Take just one of the 10-12 hours spent at work and GO TO LUNCH.

Not at your desk. Not in your cafeteria. Not with anyone you currently work with.

Have lunch with someone new. Someone that energizes you. Someone that will get you to think out of the box. Someone that might get you to consider making a bold career move.

WHY? Because it's good for your CAREER. Meeting new and interesting people: Gets your mental energy moving. Grows your professional network. Allows you to search for future talent (so you don't have to work with those pesky people in HR). Allows potential management to look at you as possible future talent (that's always good to have under your belt).

And frankly, your work won't suffer one iota.

You need to do this more often. Why not the present?

Call that one person right now and make that lunch date. Do it. You'll thank me.

How To Become Unfireable – Part Seven: Be A Billboard.

In addition to coaching a full practice of clients, my Mentor Coach Bootcamps started this week (say goodbye to Monday nights). So the 'production' end of my business is ‘full-steam ahead’. I also jumped out of bed every morning over the past two weeks (4:30 AM) to attend various networking/sales meetings to spread the word of the Rich Gee.

And I gave a major presentation to 150+ executives about how to market themselves. It was a big hit for me – most attendees gave me a 4 to 5 rating (on a scale of 1-5).

So the ‘development’ end of my business was in full gear too. What did it deliver? I received an avalanche of interest in my coaching and my phone has been off the hook. In addition, my site numbers are through the roof and I have a pack of new business cards that can choke a horse (all to enter today into my contact list for eBlasts).

Why am I telling you all this? Not to brag — but to illustrate how to grow from knowing a lot of people into a person a lot of people KNOW ABOUT.

You are the product – get others to meet you, talk with you, experience you. “Take you out for a test drive” as I call it.

People need to see you, experience you, to see what you’re working on. They need to hear three things:

#1 What you’ve done.

This is your reputation - you need to advertise it. Don’t think people just know about it. That’s the mistake most executives make — they think their work speaks for them forever.

Don’t kid yourself. After the project is over, the major rollout complete, the client captured . . . people forget. Quickly.

You need to remind them frequently of your past successes. Not blatantly, but in general conversation. Mention how you worked with Tom when you rolled out that spectacular initiative or when Susan helped you lock in one of your biggest clients. Misdirect with someone else and then bring it back to you.

#2 What you’re doing.

People need to know the level of caliber they’re working with and you need to let them know the high-level and high-impact stuff you’re managing.

The secret ingredient: if you have to let people know what you’re working on, you’ll tend to focus on higher exposure projects. It’s like a class reunion, 3-6 months beforehand, you lose weight, get that liposuction done you’ve been putting off, and hit those wrinkles with botox.

I want you to do the same thing with your career. If you aren’t working on the high-priority projects — make sure you are.

#3 What you’re gonna do.

This is how you predict great opportunities for your career. When you’re out there, you’re finding out about what’s in store for the company, the industry, and everyone around you.

The most connected executives are actively letting key people know their ideas, strategies, and plans. They brainstorm at lunch, ask for ideas after work, and delve deeper with the management team over drinks.

The more you are a billboard and let the right people see what you’ve done, what you are doing today, and what you plan to do . . . the more high-level projects, positions, and promotions come your way.

Now go out there and let them see your billboard up in lights!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Need to figure out how to be a billboard? Let's talk. This is one of the main areas I tackle first with all of my clients. If you’re not a client . . . grab your spot now before all the final spot for October is taken. Only one left — time is getting short.

How To Become Unfireable – Part Six: It's Who You Know.

Here’s the cold, hard truth:  

You not only have to have a lot of friends, you need get out there and meet new people, Period. End of story.

If you don’t want to do that — you will be expendable.

But most people don’t like to ‘network’. Well then . . . don’t. Connect.

In my opinion, the clear difference between Networking and Connecting is:

Networking: What can you do for me?
Connecting: What can I do for you?

It's my definition, my differentiation, and here's why I don't like networking:

• It's all me, me, me.
• It's the clammy science of collecting business cards ad infinitum, of cold-calling strangers to grill them about possible openings or beg them for a favor.
• When most people don't like networking, it's because of the slimy nature of glad-handing strangers and constantly asking for something.
• It's impersonal, it takes the average executive or entrepreneur way out of their comfort zone.
• I know when I meet someone and they network with me — I immediately see through their facade and want to get out of there ASAP.
• To the best of my knowledge, no one likes to be 'networked' to.
• Networking is awkward, it's artificial, and more often than not, it doesn't work that well.

Connecting is different.

• It's noticing people, schmoozing with them, keeping in touch with them — and benefiting from them. You connect with people in a mutually productive and pleasurable way.
• You concentrate on the other person. Try to ask questions, minimize your blabbering, and listen to their answers.
• You build a solid relationship and try to connect with them on many levels.
• Instead of selling, you're seeding. You plant the seed of your capabilities, service, or product but you don't overtly go for the kill.
• You build the relationship to do something for them. To help them professionally or personally. It might be an article they are interested in, a piece of information, or even an introduction to someone you know.
• In the end, the relationship supersedes the sale. Every time.

So how do you connect? Here are the steps:

1. Be inquisitive. Ask a lot of questions and follow up questions. See below for the process.
2. If they ask about you, answer their questions, but don't go on. You need to focus on them.
3. Try to find a way to connect with them — find a common place to share — maybe a location, a school, a business, a friend, something.
4. Ask follow up questions, "You live in Stamford? What part? High Ridge Road? I grew up near Rippowam High School!".
5. Once you make the 'connection', you begin to build a rapport of trust between you and the person your connecting with.
6. Each subsequent question, follow-up question, and connection will build a stronger friendship bond between you.
7. When concluding the conversation or meeting, try to ensure you have some sort of deliverable or to-do for the person. It might be an article, a web site, an acquaintance you might know — to give to them at a later date. Do something for them – Givers Gain.
8. Ensure you do what you say you're going to do.

What is the process to connect? Read this story:

"You are in front of a big, white home. You look down and see the mailbox, you look up and see your whole family waving to you, leaning out the top windows of the house. You look over and see a beautifully, ornate chimney with a huge, yellow, leather work glove sitting upon it with all five finger pointing in the air. The glove is holding an old, wooden tennis racket and a bi-plane (like the one Snoopy flies) breaks through the strings of the racket, flys around your high school, comes to a soft landing on your football field and touches the goal post."

This story is a mnemonic. It teaches you how to connect with someone by encapsulating key questions within an inane, weird story you'll remember. Let me break it down:

• Mailbox - Hi, my name is Rich Gee. What's your name? Where do you live? What part of Wilton?
• Family waving to you - Are you married? Do you have kids? (if they say no, don't feel uncomfortable, just say, "Boy are you lucky!"
• Huge leather work glove - What do you do? Where do you work? What is it like to work there?
• Wooden tennis racket - What do you do for fun? What are your interests?
• Bi-plane - Do you travel for business? Did you go on vacation this summer?
• High school - Where did you go to school?
• Football field - What sports are you into?
• Goal post - What goals are you shooting for this year?

All I ask is that you try it. I used to do it all the time waiting for my daily train to work. Standing next to someone, I would say something witty ("Seems like the train gets later every day as it gets colder."), get them to smile, and then introduce myself. The hint with each question is to be enthusiastic and use many follow up questions. Be inquisitive and have fun!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. If you're having problems connecting with people, let's talk. This is one of the main areas I tackle first with all of my business clients. If you’re not a client . . . grab your spot now before all the spots for October are taken. Time is getting short.

Control Your Time By Designing Your Schedule.

I thought my schedule was packed when I worked in corporate! Filling in my days with status meetings, presentations, sales calls, and updates all mixed together to produce a week chock full of weaving, diving, and running. Now that I've been running my company for the past ten years, I've found it even harder to keep my schedule clear and organized to ensure I get everything done AND allow myself the time to work on my business.

Do you feel this way? 

Well, I developed a cool way to look at each day in my schedule and ensure I not only get my client sessions scheduled, but I also leave time for basic tasks and strategic projects.

Take a look at my typical schedule (click on image to expand):

The key is CONSISTENCY and FLEXIBILITY. I try to remain consistent from week to week to ensure I can work in my business and on my business.

But I also need to be realistic. Emergencies crop up. Clients move or cancel appointments. New prospects creep into my calendar. Speaking engagements usually fall right in the middle of my schedule (but those are planned well in advance). So I also have to be flexible and have the ability to move things around when needed.

Here's the surprise — I don't have to do it as much as you'd expect. Week after week, I can pretty well stick to my schedule and ensure I am growing my business while keeping the engine running smoothly.

Let me break down some of the elements:

4:30 AM to 10 PM - Yep, that's my day. I know - 4:30 AM is a bear. But I find it's my key time to get things done - where I am energized and focused. My best brainstorming occurs at this time. So I do my best thinking in the shower (a sort of 21st century meditation) and then I'm off to write my blog and prepare for my clients.

7:00 AM to 5 PM - Blocking out all of my clients. I was taught this many years ago by my mentor coach, Ken Abrams. If you fit all of your clients into pre-specified groupings, it's easier to manage your schedule without all of the 30 and 60 minute gaps.

Email - I check my email at 9 AM, Lunchtime, and at 7 PM. It doesn't rule my life. If there is a client emergency, call me. Candidly, I read my email every few hours, that's fine to catch up on what's important.

Lunch, Dinner with Family, Reading - This is my time - these hours are to allow me to decompress and spend special time with my family and also to grow my knowledge-base.

Thursday - This is my Networking/Connecting day. I am out and about meeting people, learning about new businesses, and going to meetings. I also meet with two groups - my sales force (about 35 people) who are actively out promoting my product to key prospects. The second group is a high-potential business owner team where we exchange leads and discuss many business issues and problems. I also fit in meetings with my agent, pr guy, marketing team, accountant, attorney and any other colleagues who make my business HUM.

Friday - This is my 'clean-up day'. I spend the time with any errant clients and also do any marketing/prospecting, presentation building and my financial planning. I spend most of my day connected at the hip with my assistant ensuring I clean up any mess from the previous four days and preparing me for the next week.

I hope my schedule gives you a few ideas on how to better structure your schedule.

What do you do to make your professional (and personal) life more bearable?

"What would you think if I sang out of tune?"

"What would you think if I sang out of tune,Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, And I'll try not to sing out of key. Oh I get by with a little help from my friends." - With a Little Help from My Friends - Lennon/McCartney

Yesterday was a powerful day for me. Thursday is my networking day and I met over 100 people starting at 6:00 AM all the way to 8:00 PM. A long day.

But I was energized when I got home.

Here's a quick synopsis:

5-6 AM - Commute (beat the traffic!) 6-7 AM - Blog at Starbucks, meet new people. 7-9 AM - BNI Networking Meeting - My Sales Force. 9-11 AM - Catchup Meeting with an influential force in Finance. 11-2 PM - Lunch and Brainstorming meeting with a future partner. 2-4 PM - Meeting with a new colleague - helping with his job situation. 4-6 PM - Mastermind/Networking Group - a great time was had by all. 6-8 PM - Client's Grand Re-Opening Celebration - lots of networking. 8-9 PM - Commute home (listen to motivational audiobooks).

I made a lot of new friends and deepened relationships with many current ones.

Bottom line — this is the life-blood of my business and career.

An esteemed colleague quoted Michael Gerber last night, "Most entrepreneurs fail because you are working IN your business rather than ON your business." He couldn't be more correct.

I came home last night with a pile of new business cards, a bunch of referral slips, and a small list of to-do's to get out by the end of the day today.

I made new friends. I deepened relationships with current friends. And I hope I helped a few people along the way.

That's the profession I've chosen — and I love it every single day.

What do you do to make new friends during the work-week?

Serendipity With The Apple Store.

Something wonderful happened to me yesterday. Well, let me start from the beginning — I wanted to get the new iPad. Badly.

In fact, I gave up all Christmas & Birthday presents to save up for one. So I was primed to get the iPad2 once I heard that the new release was slated for March.

When the iPad came out on Friday, my family and I traveled to the closest mall to see if we can see one (and secretly get one!).

You've probably heard — the lines wrapped throughout the mall — hundreds of people waiting for hours. We never got to even enter the store. I went home thinking we would show up the next day (when the lines went down) to pick one up. Guess what — all stores were totally sold out.

What I forgot to add is that I made a quick phone call to my good friends, the business managers at the Apple Store, prior to all of this technology hoopla. I asked them, "If the iPad came in, could they hold one for me?". I then proceeded to forget about this call after hearing the pent-up demand and 'no inventory' news.

One quick detour to talk more about the Apple Business Managers. They're the BEST. As a successful entrepreneur, I need a flawless technology platform. The Apple Store does it for me. They go out of their way to make any purchase (I have four MacBook Pros, two iMacs, three iPhones, and about twelve iPods, iTouches, Nanos, and Shuffles hanging around the office and home). Whenever ANYTHING goes wrong, they have impeccable client service that is available and flawless. I LOVE going to the Apple Store.

Now back to yesterday. I was at Pepe's Pizza, hosting my son Andrew's 10th birthday party with a gaggle of kids. I get a call from my one of the Apple business managers — not only has he saved an iPad for me from a secret shipment that he received this morning, he also will give me a discount on my purchase.

WOW. I ran down to the store and picked it up. It's beautiful.

Why am I telling you this story? It's based on all the business I sent the way of this business manager. And many of my friends, colleagues, clients, and acquaintances that I've also sent to that particular Apple Store.

It's called developing deep connections with key people in your business circle. Seeing how you can help THEM — how you can build their business. Always asking, "How Can I Help You?" (see my last post)

Most people don't do it — and they are the ones waiting in line for an iPad.

Has this ever happened to you? How did it make you feel? Do you now deepen your business relationships?

Why Networking Is Dead — Part One.

Look, everybody does it. It's the hard and fast rule of business — to succeed in the marketplace, you need to get out there and shake some hands. Motivate the masses. Network with the crowds. Well, I say that's wrong.

Networking is a very impersonal, awkward, and most of the time, unsuccessful process professionals go through to meet someone and get something from the person they meet. Whenever I hear the term 'networking', I think of a slimy used-car salesman in a seersucker suit, white belt, and white shiny shoes. Yuck!

I like to CONNECT. What's the difference between connecting and networking?

Networking: Ingratiating yourself into someone's space, telling them all about you, and asking for help, an item, or service from them.

Connecting: Meeting someone (preferably with an introduction), asking questions about them, listening to their response, asking more questions, and then offering help, an item, or service TO them. While asking questions, you find a subtle (or overt) area to make a connection —where they live, what they do, where they went to school, anything. Connecting happens in the moment.

The difference? You Ask Questions, Listen, and Give Them something. Not the other way around. It's called Seeding. You plant seeds when you connect — they germinate and grow, and someday that person will be doing something for you. It's not deceptive, it's reciprocal. You do something for them, they do something for you.

What's the biggest reason why you should Connect and not Network? When you network, once the person realizes that the conversation is all about you and what they can do for you — a wall of glass goes up. The person immediately knows that you want something from them. And they endeavor to slowly extricate from the interaction. I see this happen ALL the time. It used to happen to me.

In addition, the fastest way to connect with that person is to turn the conversation towards them, learn more about them, understand their situation, their needs, and their problems/obstacles. You are then in a prime position to focus in on their needs and deliver a personalized solution.

Tomorrow, in Part Two, I will show you HOW to connect. It's easy, simple to do, and best of all, FUN.

How To Connect With Key People.

I attended a NSA (National Speakers Association) meeting last night. I know . . . after a full day at work, I spent additional hours in a cramped, hot hotel room looking at slides. I wouldn't change it for the world.

• I met a LOT of great people just like me. People that I can help and who also can help me.
• I experienced a great speaker who gave me a LOT of great information to grow my business exponentially.
• I had fun and it energized me (and my business).

Without further ado, here are some critical tips:

1. Get Out. The hardest thing my clients, colleagues, and friends do is to not get out and meet people. Find events and GO TO THEM. My motto: The more people you meet, the more opportunities you make, the more business you close. Corollary: The less people you meet, the less opportunities you make, the less business you close. It's that simple.
2. Show Enthusiasm & Energy. Don't be manic and scary though. Keep an upbeat focus on everyone you meet. Greet with a broad smile, hearty handshake and have one item/area to personally compliment the attendee. Do what you have to do to bring up your energy, go for a walk before the talk, listen to a power song on your iPod, drink an energy drink - anything. But come with ENERGY.
3. Wear Your Own Nametag. This sounds hokey - but it works. Everyone knows your name and what you do. And . . . you name is clearly visible to everyone you meet. In addition, the speaker could see it from her vantage point and mentioned my name — although I never met her! So it works.
4. Try To Do Something For Everyone You Meet. And then follow up the next day. I know it's hard, but this is how the big boys and girls do it.
5. Do a 360°. Talk to everyone around you when you sit down. During breaks, increase the frequency and solidify the relationship. Follow up the next day (this is critical).
6. Don't Eat. Not only is it difficult to handle a plate, shake hands, eat, and maintain a conversation, chewing and talking just don't go together. Eat beforehand. You look more polished and professional if you don't eat. Did you ever spit food while talking? Not cool.

Finally, two areas that I would like to promote:

• National Speakers Association - www.nsa.org - check them out - great meetings, incredible speakers, they make it happen!
• Rebecca Morgan - this professional clearly knows her stuff on how to "Make Money In Your Jammies" - www.rebeccamorgan.com

5 Stages of Grief When Looking For A Job.

Here's a fun list that I saw on Madatoms: Denial I've got plenty of money! I'll start looking next week!

Anger Craigslist and Monster sucks! I've got a college degree! Jobs should be looking for me!

Bargaining I'll just drive around looking for help wanted signs. I hear that Starbucks has health insurance!

Depression Why did I major in Communications? I have no useful skills.

Acceptance I didn't know I qualified for unemployment! I love this country!