I Went To A Funeral Yesterday.

I published this article back in 2012, but it still has meaning today, especially during this holiday season - Rich

When was the last time you had a powerful experience? Yesterday, my sister-in-law's mom passed away - I knew her as Ditty, she was 97, and she lived a full life. She was a wonderful lady, and I was lucky to know her.

Many things happened to me during the church service, especially at the grave site and at the restaurant get-together afterward.

The Service

We all go to funerals. They are things we have to do for family members and friends. We endure them and then move on. Not this funeral.

As a deacon at my own church, I was overwhelmed by the powerful homily and eulogy. First of all, I rarely get to experience a service in a Catholic church — it was very moving. Father Richard Futie (Ditty's cousin) guided everyone through a myriad of emotions — praise, remembrance, sorrow, humor, and most of all, love.

His role was the hardest of all — to help each of us handle our grief and help us move on in life. In my opinion, it's one of the hardest 'speaking' jobs anyone could ever tackle.

The Eulogy was given by a family friend and a fellow coach (which I surprisingly found out later!) — Danny Martin. He brought singing, stories, love, and remembrance to the part of the service. He made us remember that Ditty experienced all the events of the 20th and 21st centuries — from World War I to the iPad. It was wonderful.

In addition, Father Futie began the wake (the previous night before) by explaining what a wake really is and where the name 'wake' is derived. I originally thought it would be a 'yawner' — but Father Futie caught my attention, made me sit up, and relive this wonderful woman's life.

The Grave Site

I've gone through the death of both parents, and I can tell you the grave site is the hardest of all for everyone. It's the final goodbye. I held it together through the wake and funeral service, but when I had to say goodbye to each of my parents, I was a wreck.

Father Futie again made the entire service a deeply religious experience, yet he also ensured that it was short and focused. Everyone was moved, and it was a fitting experience to all place flowers on the casket.

The Get-Together

At the restaurant afterward, family and friends all ate great food and spoke lovingly about Ditty. Danny again regaled us with his entire song, and family and friends stood up to speak about how Ditty impacted each of their lives. We laughed, we sang, and we all healed one another.

When you run into unexpected experiences which change your life — grab and hold onto them tightly. They are experiences that change you for the better and make you stronger.

Be A Better Leader - 20 Leadership Hacks For Managers.

I managed large teams for over 15 years in corporate and have been coaching C-Level clients for 15 more. During this time, I've probably run into every scenario a manager can experience. 

​Here are my top 20 hacks to make you a better leader (in no special order): 

1. Motivate people, don't command them. It's a lot harder, but you will like the results a lot more. Find the fuel that energizes them.

2. Identify your key employees and reward them so they know they're valued. Don't worry about losing poor talent.

3. Translate upper management's vague directives into things your team can understand and take action on.

4. Never bullshit your staff. If something requires secrecy for the good of the company, just be clear on 'I cannot discuss that’.

5. When things go well, don't tout yourself to upper management, tout your team. You'll get the credit as well.

6. Don't worry about losing poor talent. In addition, the best thing you can do for your best people is to get rid of the worst people.

7. Elevate the individual and team as a whole when someone does great work. Let them take the limelight.

8. When someone on my team screws up, be the responsible "buck stops here" person as the manager. Act as the umbrella to ensure the wrath of senior management does not rain down from above, and it's your responsibility to discipline them after you catch shit from on high. In addition to that, any discipline effort should be an opportunity to learn from mistakes. Help them to help themselves when they need to recover from a mistake.

9. Don’t be their friend. It's not worth it. You are no longer "One of the guys/girls" You can have fun, don't be a jerk, but you will never be one of them again. Don't try to be. Be cool, but not that cool, otherwise you will get walked on.

10. The more you make your employees feel like they're working with you, and not for you, the smoother the sailing. That being said, make sure boundaries are clear.

11. Always remain calm. The way you react to and handle situations will have a profound and lasting effect on your staff.

​12. Criticize in private, praise in public. Praise often, punish seldom.

​13. Figure out the intricacies of discipline and HR at your organization.Any serious disciplinary actions need to be absolutely by-the-book. Get help and a buddy in HR.

​14. Learn to listen. Especially to the new hires. And the quiet ones.

​15. Be loyal to your employees and they will be 10X loyal right back.

​16. Learn to delegate. It creates frustration in the short term, but saves you huge amounts of time and makes people feel more important in the long term.

​17. Create an environment that people want to work in. I find people work harder and are more motivated if they're happy. Don't micromanage, treat people with respect, and create a sense of joining a team rather than a top-down approach.

18. Always be fair. Everyone talks to each other and compares the slightest things whether you like it or not. If you have favorites or treat someone differently, eventually people will find out. This will definitely effect how they see you.

​19. Create an open door policy. My favorite policy is that I never mind when people ask questions about the situation or what they need to do. I'd rather someone mess up rather than doing noting. Of course, I'd rather someone ask me questions so they can figure out how to do things on their own, effectively, and efficiently too. Similarly, this also helps with building respect, creating a sense of team, and having more motivated and happy people.

​20. MOST IMPORTANT: Take care of your people and they'll take care of you. 

Be Like Jack LaLanne.

I grew up with Jack LaLanne. I used to watch him, his wife Elaine (yes, Elaine LaLanne), and his German shepherd Happy every morning on TV. Jack taught me a lot of things about life — especially to stay positive all the time.

Why be like Jack? You might know him from his juicer — but he was so much more.

1. Make a bold change.

At 15, he was a wreck — sickly, skinny, and eating all the wrong foods. He realized it was a dead-end and radically changed his diet, behavior, and focus. Where can you make a bold change in your life?

2. Break the mold.

Up until Jack LaLanne, gyms were for men who wanted to box or wrestle. Jack opened the prototype for the fitness spas to come — a gym, juice bar, and health food store. What antiquated molds need breaking?

3. Keep true to your vision (and yourself).

Jack said, “People thought I was a charlatan and a nut. The doctors were against me — they said that working out with weights would give people heart attacks and they would lose their sex drive.” Never ask permission - get out and do it.

4. Think BIG.

Jack then took his idea national — “The Jack LaLanne Show” made its debut in 1951 as a local program in the San Francisco area, then went nationwide on daytime television in 1959. Pick a big dream and take one step closer to it today.

5. Speak to your audience — all the time.

“My show was so personal, I made it feel like you and I were the only ones there. And I’d say: ‘Boys and girls, come here. Uncle Jack wants to tell you something. You go get Mother or Daddy, Grandmother, Grandfather, whoever is in the house. You go get them, and you make sure they exercise with me.’ ” Learn how to better communicate to key people.

6. Keep it simple.

Most of his exercises on TV were done with a chair or broomstick. Don’t over-complexify your life - simplify!

7. Keep fresh with new ideas and offerings.

He invented the forerunners of modern exercise machines like leg extension and pulley devices. He marketed a Power Juicer to blend raw vegetables and fruits and a Glamour Stretcher cord, and he sold exercise videos and fitness books. When was the last time you read a good book?

8. Know when to get out.

Expanding on his television popularity, he opened dozens of fitness studios under his name, later licensing them to Bally. If it isn’t working for you - run away.

9. Be a showoff.

At 60 he swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman’s Wharf handcuffed, shackled, and towing a 1,000-pound boat. At 70, handcuffed and shackled again, he towed 70 boats, carrying a total of 70 people, a mile and a half through Long Beach Harbor. Be assertive in all that you do.

10. Walk the talk.

He ate two meals a day and shunned snacks. Breakfast, following his morning workout, usually included several hard-boiled egg whites, a cup of broth, oatmeal with soy milk, and seasonal fruit. For dinner,  a salad with raw vegetables and egg whites along with fish — often salmon — and a mixture of red and white wine. He never drank coffee. Be authentic to everyone you meet.

11. Stay positive — all the time.

He brimmed with optimism and restated a host of aphorisms for an active and fit life. “I can’t die,” he most famously liked to say. “It would ruin my image.” SMILE!

Jack passed away 10 years ago at the ripe old age of 96. He brought a lot of energy, motivation, and happiness to millions of people. I hope someday, I can do that too.

Are You Killing Your Career?

You’re probably familiar with Newton's First Law of Motion — “An object at rest tends to stay at rest unless acted upon by a sum of physical forces.”

This is the behavior of an average employee at work today. As long as they have a job, they usually won't take any risks, cause any controversy, or raise their hand at a meeting to disagree or propose a new idea.

They are an "object at rest". And this employee/object will remain at rest (meaning - no movement - no raises, no promotions, no new projects, no GROWTH) until "a sum of physical forces" are acted upon it.

What are those forces? Your industry, your customers, your investors or YOUR BOSS. They will be the force that will make the decision "act upon you". Most likely, if you have been "at rest" for a very long time and these forces are negative (lost customers, no profits, reduction in staff), they are probably going to look at the "objects" that aren't doing anything substantial (like hiding in their cubicles).

How do you solve this dilemma? START MOVING. Don't be that object at rest. Here are some suggestions:

• Start asking for more work. Any boss would love the help and it would clearly define you from the rest of your peers. And don’t ask for the ‘same old stuff’ — ask for more complex work and projects that will expose you to new people.

• Start connecting with key players outside of work. Get out there and see if there is something better than what you currently have. Choose people that are leaders in your area, people who you’d LOVE to meet.

• Start brainstorming. This is the time to come up with game-changing strategies or ideas to help your company. Don’t be afraid — most great ideas come from lowly beginnings.

• Start thinking about your future. Where are you? Where do you want to go? How do you get there? Make a plan — add steps, activities, and tasks. No successful journey ever started without a roadmap.

Bottom line: It’s the beginning of a new decade - so many companies and managers will be looking at their troops to see who will make a difference. Don't be an object at rest - start MOVING!

How To Successfully Change Your Game.

In the movie Fight Club (a male perennial favorite like ‘The Godfather’), the lead character works for an auto company and spouts out a formula they use for deciding whether to recall a model of their car or just let it go on killing people:

“Take the number of vehicles in the field, (A), and multiply it by the probable rate of failure, (B), then multiply the result by the average out-of-court settlement, (C). A times B times C equals X . . . If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.”

It’s a scary formula — but an apt example of how one should look critically at a decision. When I coach my clients, career change comes down to three choices:

1. Do nothing. Keep doing what you’re doing.

2. Do something slightly different. Change the dynamic.

3. Change radically (move or something totally new). Take charge of your life.

You need to stay ahead of the curve. So if you do nothing, eventually the marketplace is going to catch up to you and pass you pretty quickly. If you do something slightly different, you’re just staving off the inevitable, it’s catching up soon.

If you move or change your model radically, you stay ahead of the curve. Although you might be at the burning edge of the marketplace or your career path, you still are 100% in control of your destiny.

Your career or business needs to follow a Sigmoid Curve (above). The secret to constant growth is to start a new sigmoid curve before the first one peters out. The right place to start that second curve is at a first intersection where there is time, as well as the resources and energy, to get the new curve through its initial explorations and floundering before the first curve begins to dip downward (second intersection).

And that’s what it’s all about. Maintaining complete control over what you do, where you go, and what happens to you.

It’s your choice: If you let things happen to you, you are at the whim of management or the marketplace. If you take control and make decisions about your future, you have a little bit more say in the direction of your journey.

“Stop waiting for life to happen to you and begin to direct your life and explore your limits.” - Rich Gee

Extra Credit: Here's a real-life example: Years ago, I worked with one of the most energetic, positive, and professional executives I've ever met. He was a pleasure to interact with, always moving forward, always getting things done. In fact, both he and I won the organization's highest award that year. We were going places — and in less than a few months, he was gone, off to another position at another company. In fact, he's done it successfully throughout his career. Today, he's the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Fancy that.

Me? I do what I love too. Every single day.

5 Steps To Motivate Your Team (and you).

In How To Motivate People, Fran Tarkenton, professional quarterback for the NFL and TV personality, offers a focused motivation system — "People don't change their behavior unless it makes a difference to them to do so." The first area I'd like to tackle in my "Are You A Catalyst?" series is Motivation.

Fran focuses on three immutable rules:

1. Good behavior that is reinforced by positive consequences tends to continue or to improve.

2. Behavior that is demotivated by negative consequences tends to decrease.

3. Good, productive behavior that goes unnoticed tends to decrease over time.

It all comes down to the right rewards — and Tarkenton uses a simple system to ensure correct behavioral principles — P R I C E.

Pinpoint

Focus on the behavior you are trying to influence, then set precise objectives of what needs to be done, by whom, and by what date. Objectives must be realistic, easily understood, meaningful, and the result of every member of the team getting together to set them.

Recording

Keeping score is a motivator in business as it is in sports. Keep score of performance during a critical project, customer service, production, sales and any other performances that can be measured. Post or communicate the scores publicly — tie results to positive consequences such as bonuses and promotions.

Scorekeeping lets the individual and group know how they're doing and how their performance ties in with the organization's. In addition, when it comes to tangible consequences such as bonuses, people gain the satisfaction of knowing they have contributed to a winning team.

Involvement

Move from the old school mindset and get your people to play an engaged role in their work. It takes time for a participative approach to get off the ground (have patience!), but it does work and the benefits of getting the most from your team extends to other departments throughout the company (great advertising for you!).

Consequences

This is where you start to change behavior. At this point, you can provide positive, negative, or no reinforcement. The last is the most typical situation and unfortunately, the most useless. Poor behavior doesn't change and positive behavior that goes unnoticed may change dramatically for the worse.

Tie consequences directly to performance improvement. When someone does something right, let them know immediately that you've noticed and appreciate it. When you want to change the behavior, proceed just as quickly. Focus on the behavior and not the person, and make it clear that change is a must.

Evaluation

Determine whether what you tried worked. Did you pinpoint the right behaviors that were holding you back? Were you on target with recording, involvement, and consequences? Keep fine-tuning your system until it hums.

Remember, the most successful managers will be those who can motivate to win because they understand what gets people off their behinds and energized.

What do you do to motivate your team? How do you motivate yourself?

How We Sabotage Our Success.

Let me take you through a simple business process and show you how we all sabotage our success every day with subtle procrastination behaviors:

I had to FedEx a letter to a prominent executive last week to connect with them. Pretty easy? Not on your life (in fact, I use the same process I leverage with my clients everyday — same template, same process, same delivery).

The funny thing is, you wouldn't believe the myriad of ways fear, uncertainty, and doubt took over in my mind to stop me from doing this simple task. For instance:

1. When composing the letter, it took me HOURS to decide on a template (design). Not too fancy, should I use my logo?, how should I sign it?, what should I say?, is it too much (too funny/clever)?, etc.

2. Working with FedEx Online was fun. Just as I set up my account and answered all their questions, I lost the whole thing three times. If that doesn't frustrate you, I don't know what will.

3. Getting the letter in an envelope. What to put outside? A Post-It? A formal label? What!?!?!?!?!?

4. Transporting the letter to the nearest FedEx location in time to ensure the date on the letter is reasonable. With a schedule like mine, it's hard to make a major detour, especially with Mr. Procrastination rearing it's ugly head.

5. Deciding on what FedEx level to send. There are probably 25 different permutations from cheap (slow) to outrageously expensive (fast).

6. Seeing an imperceptible spot on the envelope and canceling the entire process and starting all over again.

You get the gist of it. I threw up so many stupid, mental roadblocks in my way that I almost didn't send the letter. A letter. A simple letter. Do you do this? What are the subtle behaviors you have that knock you off course?

The only thing that got me through it is just telling myself the old Winston Churchill quote: "Never, never, never give up."

And I didn't. Now I have to call the guy tomorrow. Wish me luck.

P.S. I tracked the letter - mailed it in Shelton, it went to Memphis and then back to Westport. You gotta love FedEx traffic!

Your Smile Is Your Logo.

“Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card, how you leave others feeling after an experience with you becomes your trademark.” — Jay Danzie

Too often, we tend to hide our real connecting abilities with brochures, pamphlets, websites, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and a myriad of other distractions. Not that they are BAD per se, but they sometimes get in the way of what REALLY counts.

SMILE: 
When you first meet someone, do you project a REAL smile? 

Are you genuinely happy to meet them? Or are you faking it? Step back and understand WHY you might not be fully engaged in making a new friend. Are you insecure? Are you tired? Are you distracted? The more present you are when connecting with people, the more successful you'll be in life because you are projecting true authenticity. You’re there to make a new friend.

PERSONALITY: 
How can you kick up your personality? 

Most people think they can't — the personality they have is the one they're always going to have. That's bunk. You can change your personality instantly by kicking up your enthusiasm, engage your body language, pump up your patter — talk faster, a bit more forceful, change the intonation frequently. Act like you are excited to meet them and learn all about them. Make connecting stick.

MAKE THEM FEEL GOOD: 
Take a genuine interest in the other person you're connecting with.

Ask powerful questions, "What new things are you doing this year? How are they turning out?" Ask lots of questions and really try to understand who they are, what they do, and how you can help them. Follow up with my favorite three-word phrase: “Tell me more!"

"The more goodwill you spread out into the world, the more it will circle around and come right back to you.” — Rich Gee

To Succeed, You Have To Hustle.

Are You A Pilot Or Passenger In Your Career?

If you hit a crisis or something goes wrong, it's someone else's fault. We are the victim. 

That isn't the case. Stop being the victim. Start taking control of your life and career. Turn off your career ‘cruise control’ and direct your life.

CHALLENGE #1:
I want you to do one thing today that scares you.

Pick up that phone right now and make that call you’ve been procrastinating on. Check out that company you've always dreamed to work for. Arrive at work extra-early and get more done in one day than you've ever done before. Push yourself farther and scare yourself in the process. You'll thank me.

If you're doing it the same way other people are doing it, you're doing it wrong. That’s usually the ‘safe’ or 'old’ way of doing it.

Be brave and do something completely different. Be creative and take a risk — reach out to people and try something new. Don't care about what other people think — that will just hold you back. Ask for forgiveness, not permission.

CHALLENGE #2:
Take a moment and think of one simple, crazy change you can make.

Design a new business card, reach out to that senior VP or business owner who is doing cool stuff that amazes you. Ask them to lunch. Test a new way of running your project — put it on an express train and beat that deadline.

I hate the word inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work. Don't wait for that bolt of lightning to hit your brain. Do it NOW.

The best ideas come from doing and working the process. It comes out of actually accomplishing the work. It’s time to get your hands really dirty.

CHALLENGE #3:
Stop waiting for that 'inspirational' idea to jump out and land on a blank sheet of paper.

If it hasn’t happen yet, it’s never going to happen. Dig into work this week and see where you can streamline a process, delegate a lame task, or discard an outmoded activity. Get rid of them.

Work smarter, not harder. You will suddenly see new ways of doing things better, stronger, faster (like the Six-Million Dollar Man). Stop meandering along doing the same old thing the same old way.

Hustle this week. You'll thank me.

Do The Impossible — The Country Club Technique.

Successful businesses and careers are a lot about making tough things happen.

We get caught up in the inertia of our fears and are afraid of making a mistake. One exercise we use with our clients centers around a 'country club event'. Here's the scenario . . . you are in front of a country club and we've charged you with the task of getting into their 'event' with no invitation, no money, nothing.

Now you may ask, like all of our clients do, how can I do this? And we say - "I don't care. Just figure it out and MAKE IT HAPPEN." We then let the client come up with a number of scenarios how they could talk their way into that event successfully.

• "Maybe I sneak in the side door and go through the kitchen."

• "I can make friends with people in the parking lot and go into the party with them."

• "I can inquire at the lobby about membership in the club and get in that way."

• "I can paraglide from a remote mountain and land on the golf course and sneak in wearing a tux."

You get the idea. This technique primes your brain to think of alternatives without your fears canceling them out. It gives you a platform to then substitute your situation and make assertive decisions and subsequent actions.

Career and business changes produce a similar situation — "I don't know where to begin." or "I don't know who to talk to." or "What happens if it goes wrong?" are frequent responses.

What we then say is: "I don't care. Just figure it out and MAKE IT HAPPEN." We then brainstorm scenarios on how to meet that CEO or this important person and then MAKE IT HAPPEN. Action sometimes trumps deep thought (and worry).

The next time you run into an obstacle, step back and say "Figure this out and MAKE IT HAPPEN." You'll find yourself taking action before the fear and complacency begin to move in and you get that much closer to changing your career.

Nike was right with "Just Do It".

The Importance Of Playing Tennis With Better Tennis Players.

"It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you'll drift in that direction." - Warren Buffett

Have you ever played tennis?

• Play with someone worse than you, you won’t push yourself at all and play at a much lower level than you usually do. You’ll coast.

• Play with an equal player, I promise your game will be boring as hell. Back and forth, you get one point, they get one point. BORING.

• Play with a better player and you'll be forced to play a better game. You’ll have to move faster, anticipate their moves, and push yourself harder than you ever have before.

Think of all the highly successful business people you know, whom do they hang around with? Who do they have lunch with? Why do you think they do that?

Because they play a better game. The easiest way for an adult to learn is to mimic other adults actions and behaviors. It could be a very apparent behavior or a very subtle action. But these cues are picked up (just like in tennis) and are absorbed.

So today, you need to play a better game. Hang with the big boys and girls. Watch what they do, how they react, how they take action. Set up that lunch, make that appointment, hire that new rising star — it’s time you play your ‘A’ game.

You might surprise yourself and serve that ace.

Be Direct & Ask For What You Want.

If you want something, ask for it. Pretty simple, eh? Actually, it's not. Many people run into external (and more frequently) internal obstacles.

Even though more women are affected than men, it's not just a woman's thing. Many men also run into the same obstacles when direct requests are required.

Why does it happen? Why do we shirk from being direct with a boss, colleague, or client?

1. We are afraid of coming off as whining or complaining.

2. We are afraid of a blunt response that will further deepen our insecurity.

3. We don't know what we really want.

4. You don't really believe you will receive what you are asking for (limiting beliefs).

5. You don't feel you have to ask — people should instantly realize your needs.

6. You don't know HOW to ask.

Most psychological studies prove that people are more likely to help you if you just ask in a simple and direct fashion. A smile doesn't hurt either. Most people are nice and willing to help someone in need.

One way I help my clients overcome being direct is to do "The Starbucks Challenge". I ask them to go to their local Starbucks, find the most expensive drink on the menu, order it, and then ask for a discount. It's amazing most people will build up a temporary anxiety complex all the way to the Starbucks location. They will run through various scenarios and their fear will mount until they ultimately ask for a discount. Of course, they will be turned down — but the realization afterward that they were acting childish makes the lesson even more powerful. Try it.

So let's tackle each one:

We are afraid of coming off as whining or complaining.

This is one of the biggies — we don't want to sound whiny or negative, so we don't really ask for what we really need. In fact, if you dance around the subject or draw out the request, YOU WILL sound whiny. Be direct, ask for what you want, and listen for the response — you will be pleasantly surprised.

We are afraid of a blunt response that will further deepen our insecurity.

Yes, you might receive that 'NO' infrequently. Conversely, you will frequently receive an unexpected 'YES'. In addition, the NO will not be blunt and yelled at you by your boss. Most of the time it will be couched comfortably in "let me think about it" or "not now", rather than a hurtful NO. We are so afraid of NO's (probably from childhood) that we are afraid of being direct.

We don't know what we really want.

A lot of people fall into this category. When something is really important, we tend to 'complexify' our need and flub our request. Successful people keep their requests super-simple and direct. Don't dance around the subject, don't parry and feint with your verbiage — just ask. One way to do this is to write down exactly what you need, hone the message, and then ask.

You don't really believe you will receive what you are asking for (limiting beliefs).

I run into this all the time with clients who want a promotion/raise or business owners who need to increase their fees. Many people have self-imposed, limiting beliefs which directly impact their ability to move up the corporate or business ladder. In the end, they are deceiving themselves — I actually had one client double their fee and their patients happily paid it. You just have to ask. Practice makes perfect — try to push yourself to ask for simpler things from strangers — to look at their newspaper, borrow their cellphone, etc. You will find they will happily share and you will build your confidence.

You don't feel you have to ask — people should instantly realize your needs.

This also circles around raises and promotions. A lot of people think they all have a guardian angel protecting them at work who will accurately track their progress and reward them when it's time. That's BS. Even the best managers forget to track their best performers and are always reticent to provide increases. You have to ask for them — because the only person caring about your needs is YOU.

You don't know HOW to ask.

I left the best one for last. There are a lot of people who just don't know how to get what they need because they've never done it. From the reasons above, this is how you do it — write exactly what you want down on paper, simply it, practice your request, find the best time to catch the person your asking, be direct and to the point, and then shut up. Let them respond — don't add anything else by prevaricating.

You will either receive a YES or a NO. It's that simple.

How To Get Everyone To Return Your Calls.

You’re not going to believe this, but I hate the phone. You would think as a coach and someone who runs a highly successful business, being on the phone all day would be fun, exciting, and powerful. It is for coaching — I get energized! It is for colleagues, friends, and family — we can talk for hours.

It’s when I have to either cold call or play the dreaded phone-tag. That’s when I want to throw my phone out the window. Why?

Because most people don’t return calls. And if they do, they pick a time when it’s impossible for you to answer them (I think they strategically pick these times).

Let me give you a scenario that happens to me infrequently:

I get a prospect that has either heard me speak, read my articles, or has heard from a powerful friend about how I changed their lives with my coaching.

They call me up for a complimentary session, we have it, they love it, and will get back to me within 24 hours to let me know. Then they fall off the map. I try to call them and follow up leaving voicemails, email, etc.

No response.

Then one day, I was at my sales team meeting and a close colleague of mine gave me the secret to virtually compel people to call you back. And it works like a charm.

I send a short, simply worded email and end with three choices. Here’s what I write:

Dear Ryan Reynolds,

I really enjoyed our coaching session a few weeks ago. It’s rare when someone comes to me with clear business issues and the energy to deal with them. Kudos!

Near the end of our session, you were excited about coaching with me, but you said that you had to think about it and get back to me the next day. Over the past few weeks, I’ve endeavored to reach out to you via phone and email since I am holding a March coaching spot open for you.

There must be one of three reasons why we are not connecting:

1. You are no longer interested in coaching with me.

2. I have offended you in some way during our coaching session or through my messages.

3. You’re too busy with work to get back to me.

I await your response. Regards – Rich 

Within one business day, the prospect calls me at my office, guaranteed. It happens every time.

They always start out with, “You haven’t offended me in any way — I’ve just been so busy with work lately . . .”. I always listen, agree, and in the end, they become my client.

Try it — it works!

What techniques do you employ to get people to call you back?

What's Holding You Back? You Are.

I start all workshops and coaching relationships with the discussion of Limiting Beliefs. Why? In life, we run into so many external obstacles. People, institutions, rules, regulations, and hierarchies all play major roles in our life. They get in our way, they make us stumble, we get frustrated, and we give up. They win.

The more insidious of life's obstacles are your internal obstacles. I've broken them down into manageable chunks to allow you to understand them and to hopefully assess and ameliorate each one. When I think of limiting beliefs in my life, I call them life's 'Little Stinkers'. Here they are:

What We've Learned

These are the 'hard-wired' internal obstacles that are drilled into us from an early age. 'Don't do this' and 'you can't do that' play a major part in our learning process. We might have parents, siblings, teachers, and other adults in our life telling us what is right and wrong. Not that it's a bad thing — it's important to do — but sometimes they say certain things that are seared in our personality.

Examples: "They're out of your league" "No one can get an A in that class" "You're not artistic" "You can't sing"

What We've Experienced

These are the myriad of personal experiences when we've tried to step out of our bubble and try new things. And they don't go well. We try something new once or take a big step out of our comfort zone and fail. We revert back to a safe spot and constantly repeat to ourselves that we shouldn't go there — it's a waste of time.

Examples: "We shouldn't go there" "We can't do it" "It's not in our DNA" "I'd be happier staying the same"

What We Think/Fear

This is the third level of limiting beliefs. Take what we've learned and what we've experienced, mix them together, and you end up here. These are all the limiting beliefs we have in our head and we project them all into the future. We mentally scare and hold ourselves back from learning new things, experiencing new practices, and meeting new people.

Examples: "If I do it, I will fail" "This will be a futile exercise" "They won't like me" "They will laugh at me" "I will lose a lot of money"

What We Dodge

This is the lazy limiting belief. We get stuck or complacent in our limiting belief world and feel this is all I need to do. We take the other three limiting beliefs and let our procrastination, laziness, and distractions kick in to hold us back.

Examples: "This has worked all my life" "It's good enough" "My job is fine" (I hate the word fine) "I don't have the time"

Conclusion

If you let these limiting beliefs win, you will NEVER get the opportunity to change your life, your situation, your work, your abilities, your friendships, and possibly increase your happiness. I find if you just stay static in your life and career, you won't be happy for long. So start looking in the mirror and start eliminating those internal obstacles!

Deliver Life-Changing Presentations Every Time.

Some people love to give presentations. Some people hate it. Most people fall somewhere in between these two points on the presentation spectrum.

What outcome do you want from your presentation? A decision? Enthusiasm for a idea? A sale? A way to present bad numbers so they look good?

I've given thousands of presentations — from a small status update for my division, or an 850+ audience at The Hartford Insurance Company, all the way to major sales presentations to McDonald's and Home Depot.

It could be a myriad of things — but all great presentations have a few critical areas where they excel — Purpose, Resonance, Enthusiasm, Experience, Narrative. Let's look at each one and how it impacts your presentation:

Purpose - Why are we here?

I can't tell you how many presentations I've been to where two minutes into the presenter speaking, I'm already lost. They've given me no semblance of what they will be covering and some basic guideposts to gauge where we are in the presentation.

How to fix: One of your first slides should cover a brief summary of what you will be speaking about and what you expect from the presentation. Something as simple as: "Today, I will be covering why we should begin to move all of our executives onto iPads. I'm going to cover the current state, impact, and desired state of our mobile systems." It's that easy.

Resonance - Win your audience.

You are not reading out test scores — you're trying to sway your audience to feel for your position. So empathy and communication play large parts in how you give and relate your presentation to your audience. One definition of resonance is 'a quality of evoking a response'. Your job is to feel for your audience — understand how they are absorbing the information you're presenting.

How to fix: Keep scanning the audience — watch body language — see if they are engaged or distracted or puzzled. If they are checking out — get them involved — ask questions of the audience. Ask for their opinion and get them to raise their hands. Also, move around — engage all parts of your audience — get down to their level. Ask 'WHO' questions — "Who has this problem?" "Who would like to go first?". Ask 'WHY' questions — "Why do you think this is happening?" "Why did he react that way?"

Enthusiasm - Rally the troops.

Here's a little secret: All presentations are 90% Broadway. They're performances. Why? The more your audience is emotionally engaged in your presentation, the more likely they are to like it, take away key information, and tell others about it. If you just stand there and recite slides, they're going to check out, miss key information, and tell everyone you stunk.

How to fix: You are an evangelist of information. Live and breathe your info — get them excited about it too! Smile, raise and lower the tonality of your voice, and move your hands to make points. If you aren't excited about what you're speaking about, who will be?

Experience - Show them your stuff.

You need to know your topic. Many speakers get up and immediately venture down unchartered territory. When one errant question arises, they sudden fall silent or stumble with an answer. You have to know your topic cold.

How to fix: Keep your presentation on point — less is more. Stick to your topic and hammer all points of it — be prepared — anticipate most of the questions that will be asked. If you don't know something — say it: "Wow, that's a good question. I don't know, but I can find out. Let's talk after the presentation." It's that easy.

Narrative - Tell them a story.

Just spilling out facts will not help you with the other four areas. You have to relate stories - people LOVE stories.

How to fix: Tell stories. I usually incorporate at least 1-2 stories during a presentation. Make sure they stay on topic, are interesting or funny, and can be told in less than two minutes. Pick a situation in your career, someone who made a positive impact on you, or an item you found in your research. One caveat — too many stories about you will bore the audience.

P.S. If you’d like more information about how I deliver powerful presentations - Let’s talk. I’ve worked with thousands of business owners and executives and find this is a perfect way to start a coaching relationship — sign up to schedule a live, free coaching session. It's not just the mechanics — it's building confidence and knowing you can knock it out of the park.

The Best Time To Find A New Job Is When You Don't Need It.

In other words — Always be prepared to leave a job, because your employer is always prepared to leave you. More and more, many companies (not all, mind you) find themselves letting employees go for a number of different reasons. Too young/too old, too much/too little salary, old/new employee, old/new direction, high/low level position are just some of the myriad reasons why people are let go from their place of employment. Sometimes we find ourselves in the crosshairs and next thing you know, you're packing up your desk in a cardboard box.

"About six months ago i was offered a job from a supplier to my company, but I felt decently happy and comfortable working where I was. To my surprise I was laid off from work last week, and am now looking for a job."

You need to be prepared — here are the big six things I tell my happily employed clients to shield them from layoffs:

1. Keep your résumé/LinkedIn profile current and ready to go at a moment's notice.

2. Ask for testimonials when you finish projects/leave divisions/manager's move.

3. Embrace recruiters and interview — you never know what great position you might run into.

4. Develop a robust emergency nest egg (just in case).

5. Build your network — maintain past relationships and grow new ones with key people in your industry.

6. Most important — keep your skills current and focus on in-demand areas.

I hate to say this — the idea of living through a career with the same company seems to be long, long gone. Most people should expect to move at least every 2-3 years. If you don't, your employers will.

In addition, rarely will you experience major jumps in position/salary/benefits at the same organization. Most people experience larger percentage jumps when they move when they still have a job (check out this Forbes article). Waiting for a company to can you to get that severance package is a frequent strategy (especially if it's a big package), but your value in the marketplace is severely reduced.

By the way . . . if you're thinking, "I'm irreplaceable, they can't function without what I know" then you're underestimating an organization's willingness to protect themselves and make haphazard decisions based on human greed and emotions.

Day One on your new job is the first day of your new job search. Never stop looking for better. The minute your current employer doesn't need you, your butt will be out the door. Again, this perspective is not for all organizations, but it does cover the majority out there.

P.S. One final rule — Always backup key email, contacts, and project files (just in case). Most people forget how important this information is until they don't let you go back to your computer and walk you out of the building. So much of your potential portfolio when you're looking for a new job will be gone if you don't save it somehow. Be prepared and always back up to a personal thumb or external hard drive.

Don't Small Talk, Have Courageous Conversations.

Why do people hate networking events? Usually it's full of people who are all talking small. "How's business?" " There's a lot of people here." "How's the food?" "That's a great tie."

Shoot me now. We all hate these events - executives, vendors, and business owners alike. Unfortunately, we've been told that we have to go to them to grow our business. And they're right.

You have to regularly break out of your bubble and meet new people. Interact and market your product/service to get traction.

But how many events have you attended early in the morning or late into the evening that just sucked? Tons.

I have a technique to make them Powerful, Engaging, & Fun. Here are some of the things I do to dump the small talk and have courageous conversations:

1. Take An Avid Interest In The Person You're Speaking To. 

Most of the time, people are only thinking of themselves. In fact, many people closely listen to what you're saying only to anticipate a pause so they can talk.

Take the time to LISTEN to what the other person is saying and frequently add energizing sounds and body language to keep them going.

Paraphrase what they just said and insert a follow-up question to dig deeper into what they are commenting on.

2. Act Like A Host.

What do hosts do? They make their guests feel comfortable, at home, start fun conversations, and selflessly connect people together to build a strong networking circle of professionals.

What's wrong with acting like a host (even if you aren't the host) and helping your fellow attendees accomplish all of these goals?

I love to walk up to a group and ask everyone how they like the wine/food/room — they always positively comment and immediately invite me into their conversation. Try it.

3. Talk About Scary Subjects.

Instead of the weather, think of assertive, strong questions to get people out of their shell. Some I've used:

"So, what's your big project for 2017? How's it going so far?" "What new things are you trying to launch?" "Favorite super-power: Flying or X-Ray Vision?" (I love this one - ask me how it works) "Did you hire anyone new this year? What was the one quality that shined for you?" "What client do you absolutely despise? Why? Why don't you fire them?" "What's the scariest thing you've done in the past few years?"

Now understand, some of these work with new acquaintances — some will only work with friends or when you've conversed for a certain amount of time.

4. Open Up.

Once you've made an initial connection, try to open up and talk about serious topics. Once you get to know the, let them know that you just lost a client or that the product you just launched isn't doing that great (as an example). Being honest and authentic is so much better than fake and boring.

5. It Not All About YOU.

Don't go there only looking for business. In fact, frame your perspective around helping others. "I am going to try to connect everyone I meet to someone I know to help them build their business/career."

Givers Gain — make sure to try to help everyone (okay - not everyone - there are some lost causes in every bunch).

If you try just one of these — you will transform your typical, boring networking event into an exciting and memorable soirée. Be Courageous!

The Three Most Important Words For 2019.

Already hitting small obstacles in 2019? You started out so well and now, for some reason, you seem to be hitting the same wall that you always encounter when you try to make an upward move in your career.

Let’s talk "VCP". It's an old BNI acronym for the words: VISIBILITY & CREDIBILITY = PROFITABILITY. Simply, if you are more visible to the people that matter, you then have an opportunity to show your credibility. And if you succeed in convincing them about your credibility, you then access profitability, or the ability to grow your business.

This simple acronym can easily be applied to executives in corporate or business owners trying to grow their business. We get caught in our career — DOING our business — but forgetting to GROW our business. We forget the simplicity of VCP. For example:

VISIBILITY — When was the last time you stepped out and networked aggressively outside of your contact sphere?

If you're an executive:

• When was the last time you went to lunch with a key player outside of your group? Do you do it every week? You should.

• When did you reach out to your peers in your industry (outside of your company) to have lunch?

• When did you reach out to leaders in your community (not industry) to have coffee/lunch?

• When was the last time you spoke at an industry meeting? Went to an industry meeting?

If you own a business:

• Get out and meet people. Your office neighbors, colleagues in your industry.

• Join a networking group. Make it a regular event.

• Use signage, brochures, blog, guest speak at client events. Be a billboard for your business.

CREDIBILITY — 

• Do what you say you're going to do. This is a major dysfunction of many executives and businesses. They say YES to too many things, they over-promise (people pleasers) and under-deliver.

• Over-Deliver. Always add something special and extra to every client deliverable. Surprise them!

• Ask past clients and managers to talk you up (i.e., on LinkedIn recommendations).

• Build up a history of knocking it out of the park. Be assertive, be bold!

If you start with VISIBILITY and add CREDIBILITY, you will quickly encounter PROFITABILITY.

• Businesses will begin to get more clients, better clients, bigger clients.

• Executives will begin to get the better projects, more exposure, promotions and more money.

VISIBILITY & CREDIBILITY = PROFITABILITY. Make it Happen in 2019!

If 2019 Was The Best Year Of Your Life, What Would Have To Happen?

Take a moment and imagine it's December 31, 2019. You're sitting back in your comfy leather chair, reading your favorite book, by the fireplace sipping hot chocolate. MMMMM. Looking back over the past 365 days — you realize you had a great year. An amazing, incredible, unbelievable year.

Step One — What would make it an amazing year professionally? A promotion/raise? A huge uptick in business/clients? A new job? What would make it an amazing year personally? Travel to exotic lands? More time with the family? More time with friends? Trying out a new pastime or hobby?

I want you to take a piece of paper and write down your amazing year. What would happen? It doesn't have to be a literary classic — just use bullet points. Your focus should be on speed — get your thoughts down on paper ASAP. Then hone it down to a single mission sentence. "I will be SVP of Operations and increase my salary by 15%" or "I will launch a new line of products and increase my client base by 20%". Maybe "I will learn the piano and take my family to Hawaii."

Step Two — What do you need to do to get there? What steps do you need to take? What actions/activities/tasks? Who can help you? Map out each step you need to take to reach your vision. If you're especially motivated, add timing and deadlines to each task. This isn't the hard/scary part — you know how to get there.

Here's the scary part — to realize 'Your Best Year Ever', you will have to really push yourself. You will have to build your confidence up and combat procrastination and fear. You will be doing things you've never done before, meet people you've never believed you'd meet, and reach new heights never before imagined. You will have to work harder and smarter to realize your dream.

To do this you need Goals (step 1) and a Roadmap (step 2). But you have to keep your eye on the prize to help you modify your behaviors and talents to deliver 'Your Best Year Ever'. Put your goal on a Post-It note and post it on your mirror to see every morning. Reinforcement is key when it comes to goals — it needs to stare you in the face every day.

This isn't rocket science. Many years ago, when Elon Musk sold Zip2, X.com and PayPal, his vision was to change the world and humanity. His goals included reducing global warming through sustainable energy production and consumption, reducing the "risk of human extinction" by "making life multiplanetary" by setting up a human colony on Mars. I think he's on his way with Solar City, Tesla, and SpaceX.

You can do it too. I know you can. Oh yes, by the way, Happy New Year!

I'm So Busy!

Lately, I run into many people who constantly have the same refrain:

“I’m so busy!” or “It's crazy here!” or “I never have the time.” Or my favorite, “I’m so stressed!”

I hate to be critical (as a coach, it’s my job) - but it tells me a lot about you, your personality, and your work habits:

1. You don’t have control of your time or schedule.

People who run around like a chicken without its head tend not to instill confidence with their superiors, peers, team, or customers. What you are telegraphing is that you don’t have control of your schedule and activities. That tells me you’re spending disproportionate blocks of time on the wrong items (not urgent or important) and rushing through areas that are urgent and important.

2. You like to complain and invite people to your pity party.

I hate people like you. Like old people who complain constantly about their maladies, I (and all the people around you) really don’t care about your simple-to-solve issues. Stop using these excuses to complain about things that are happening TO you. Start taking responsibility and change your life by paying more attention to your schedule and priorititizing your activities.

3. You have bad work habits and don’t know how to streamline, delegate or retire duities.

And you’re never going to get a promotion. Too often, when my staff kept complaining about their duties, it told me that they aren’t frequently looking at their workload and streamlining tasks, delegating to their staff (or using technology), or the easiest, stop doing unimportant or lower-echelon activities.

Normally, I have tips after each area to help you stop doing bad things and start doing good things. This week I have one piece of advice: “Stop it.”

That’s it. Try to control you bad behaviors — stop complaining, start focusing on the urgent and important, and start streamlining/delegating/retiring secondary duties.

IF YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE — sign up for a free coaching session with Rich.