Top 10 Clear Signs It's Time To Quit Your Job.

Here's my Top 10 (in no real order of importance) list why you should probably quit your current position and move on:

1. You start looking forward to the weekend on Wednesday (or even worse, Monday). This is the typical, "I can't stand my job and I love my weekends behavior". Face it, you are going to spend a LOT more time at work during the week — start enjoying that environment too. If you don't like what you do, your boss, the people, the commute, etc. — change it.

2. Sunday night is the loneliest time of the week because you have work the next day. If you hate going to work where it begins to affect your weekends, it's time to start looking for greener pastures.

3. You find yourself mired in mundane tasks at work - you're not working on exciting and challenging projects. It happens to the best of us — sometimes we need a career 'reset' button to help us re-focus on what's really important and where we want to take our career.

4. Everything is becoming SOS - same old stuff - day in, day out repetition. If you're just wrapping the same old chocolates every day — it's time to go.

5. You never ask for guidance or advice anymore from your boss. You've grown out of your role. This is a telling sign — you've outgrown your manager. They don't have anything else to teach you — and to be successful, you have to keep learning.

6. Everyone around you is as unmotivated and depressed as you are. Oh-Oh — either management is not doing their job or the company is ailing. Time to look for healthier stock.

7. Your superiors begin to take long lunches and start to leave the company. They know something you don't know. That's a clear sign you're about to be acquired, broken into small chunks, or obliterated into the atmosphere. Start planning your exit strategy.

8. Sales are down, the company hasn't rolled out anything new in the marketplace for a long time, and your competitors are hitting new heights. Things might turn around, but then, they might not. It's up to you if you have the time, temerity and patience to wait.

9. You can't get anything accomplished, projects are never approved (or cancelled mid-term), or your division is distracted by crazy hail-mary launches that never work. That is one of the most frustrating parts of corporate work — the lost years — the lost projects — and eventually, the lost people. If you find you're giving 150% to all of your work and for some reason, they're cancelled, postponed, or put on the shelf, it's time to step back and assess. Not only does it suck, but it cuts right to the bone of any performing professional to see your blood, sweat and tears wiped away in a matter of minutes. Time to go.

10. Things don't feel right - your salary has been stagnant for years, bonuses are anemic, and you find yourself surfing a lot on the web. Any one of these three are a clear indicator of a bad work situation. If you get more than one, start polishing your résumé.

Extra-Credit: Upper management employs a 'consultancy firm' to help them turn the ship in the right direction - always a clear signal something's wrong.

Most consultancy firms are brought in when management is either disconnected from the business or they are unable to develop a new business solution on their own. In my opinion, these consultancies are usually a band-aid for a more severe problem — they're brought in to calm the fears of investors and show Wall Street that the company is on-track to hit their fake targets.

In any event, there will be changes. Either The Bob's (watch this scene from Office Space) will come in and assess everyone's responsibilities and/or they will make broad spectrum changes that will probably impact your progress. Time to review your options and think about leaving.

What's Holding You Back? You Are.

I start all workshops and coaching relationships with the discussion of Limiting Beliefs. Why? In life, we run into so many external obstacles. People, institutions, rules, regulations, and hierarchies all play major roles in our life. They get in our way, they make us stumble, we get frustrated, and we give up. They win.

The more insidious of life's obstacles are your internal obstacles. I've broken them down into manageable chunks to allow you to understand them and to hopefully assess and ameliorate each one. When I think of limiting beliefs in my life, I call them life's 'Little Stinkers'. Here they are:

What We've Learned

These are the 'hard-wired' internal obstacles that are drilled into us from an early age. 'Don't do this' and 'you can't do that' play a major part in our learning process. We might have parents, siblings, teachers, and other adults in our life telling us what is right and wrong. Not that it's a bad thing — it's important to do — but sometimes they say certain things that are seared in our personality.

Examples: "They're out of your league" "No one can get an A in that class" "You're not artistic" "You can't sing"

What We've Experienced

These are the myriad of personal experiences when we've tried to step out of our bubble and try new things. And they don't go well. We try something new once or take a big step out of our comfort zone and fail. We revert back to a safe spot and constantly repeat to ourselves that we shouldn't go there — it's a waste of time.

Examples: "We shouldn't go there" "We can't do it" "It's not in our DNA" "I'd be happier staying the same"

What We Think/Fear

This is the third level of limiting beliefs. Take what we've learned and what we've experienced, mix them together, and you end up here. These are all the limiting beliefs we have in our head and we project them all into the future. We mentally scare and hold ourselves back from learning new things, experiencing new practices, and meeting new people.

Examples: "If I do it, I will fail" "This will be a futile exercise" "They won't like me" "They will laugh at me" "I will lose a lot of money"

What We Dodge

This is the lazy limiting belief. We get stuck or complacent in our limiting belief world and feel this is all I need to do. We take the other three limiting beliefs and let our procrastination, laziness, and distractions kick in to hold us back.

Examples: "This has worked all my life" "It's good enough" "My job is fine" (I hate the word fine) "I don't have the time"

Conclusion

If you let these limiting beliefs win, you will NEVER get the opportunity to change your life, your situation, your work, your abilities, your friendships, and possibly increase your happiness. I find if you just stay static in your life and career, you won't be happy for long. So start looking in the mirror and start eliminating those internal obstacles!

I Found Out I Have PMR*.

I came upon a great quote from the Dalai Lama —  "There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do, and mostly live."

How often do we feel disappointed/guilty about yesterday and anxious/fearful about tomorrow? Probably a lot.

How do we live in 'today' increments? How do we focus on what needs to happen right now without letting the past and future hold us back?

I use a simple acronym - P M R:

P = Plan — Take 5 minutes to Plan your day. Get real, assess exactly what needs to get accomplished, and write it down. Just the stuff that needs to be done today. Add time increments to estimate how long each will take, prioritize each one, and then plug them into your day calendar.

M = Meditate — Take 5 minutes to Meditate. Clean the cobwebs! Sit back, close your eyes, and clear your thoughts. Start by taking a few deep breaths then use the exhalation to sigh and release the tension. Do it again. And again. I promise you will feel better and energized.

R = Reflect — Take 5 minutes to Reflect on all the good things in your life. Gratitude is an important part of staying in the present. We tend to focus and think of all the bad things, worry, forget, and then start the whole process again. Try to focus on the positive this time — your accomplishments, your family, etc.

Take the rest of the time and get stuff done! Don't be afraid of diving in and accomplishing your action items — in fact, you will feel invigorated. Trust me!

*Just found out there is a disease with the same acronym (there always is) - I do not have it nor am I at all using the acronym lightly.

Get Over Your Fear Of Pricing.

Whether you're established in business or just getting started, you want your pricing to position you as a leader – not as a follower.

Let me explain — you don’t have to be the most expensive, but you can’t be the cheapest and you surely can’t be a bargain! 

Clients and decision makers really do respect and value what they pay more for and here's why — it all comes down to your CREDIBILITY & CONFIDENCE. 

You could be an amazing coach, consultant, organizer, therapist, chiropractor, coder, designer, nutritionist, etc.,  but if you’re under-charging, you won’t have the credibility and confidence you need to make more money in your business. 

Credibility & confidence is definitely attractive — both open doors of opportunity for you because they define what you do is valued by others. Credibility and confidence gets you invited to speak at amazing events, or invited to partner with people who can help you grow your business. Plus, you’re recognized and you have new client referrals effortlessly flowing in to you. A confession — I used to stay safe and secure (comfortable) by keeping my prices low. I would say, "I don't want to leave anyone out that might want be a client with Rich Gee!"

Even more insidious, I was so afraid of hearing “NO” from potential clients that I priced my services really low so that getting a client never made any difference to my finances. Guess what . . .

“YES” never arrived until I tried something completely different. I did something completely different than I ever did before.

Today, I get YES’s from the right people instead of NO’s from the wrong ones. Did you catch it? That's the secret.

When someone runs away from my pricing, they are the wrong people for my practice. They don't appreciate the impact my coaching will have on their business. All they are thinking of is how much I will cost them — not how I will help them make a lot more money for a lot less headache (a LOT more money). I am no longer afraid to stand up for the value my services provide!

People are happy to pay us if we can show them how we can help them fix the problem they have. Yes, not everyone will say ‘YES’ and that is how it should be. But, if you cure a pain or help someone get pleasure faster and better than they can do it themselves, then charge more. A lot more.

TIP: If you want to move from a fear-driven pricing practice to value-driven mission in life, contact me today.

2015 - Essential Tips For The Year Ahead.

This will be a 'user's guide' to help you best navigate 2015 based on the current changes in the marketplace. Headline: Business life as we know it is over. Things are changing at an ever faster rate — so you need to keep up or fall behind. No sitting still or hiding.

1. The idea of keeping your head down, working hard, not making ripples and hoping for the best is gone forever. 

The world isn't over — just the opposite — there are innumerable opportunities out there. So MANY opportunities.

How? Keep your eyes peeled constantly and stay flexible with your projects. Develop a 360° view — what's happening with management, your peers and your team? You can't stay immobile for very long — keep your view and actions constant.

Read This: Extreme Mojo (Or Driving On The Corporate Autobahn).

2. Keep as many options open as possible. 

Little or no options at your disposal invites tragedy. If you have a choice, you then have a way out of the corner you just painted yourself into.

How? If you lose a client, you should have 2-3 waiting in the wings. Keep meeting new people constantly. Keep your resume up to date. Look for new opportunities at other companies.

Read This: How Safe Is Your Career Today?

3. Keep your eye on the marketplace.

Who's up? Who's down? Why? Who are the movers and shakers in the industry? Is there a way you can meet them, get to know them, become friends? How? Start following some of your favorite companies and organizations. Read industry magazines and surf their sites. A well-informed professional is a force to be reckoned with.

Read This: Without A Doubt, The Money Is Still Out There.

4. Keep learning.

Your brain doesn't have a finite amount of space — keep filling it up with new knowledge, new experiences, and new behaviors.

How? When was the last time you read a business book cover-to-cover? How often do you read and follow the Wall Street Journal? When do you meet with peers in your industry for lunch to swap ideas, insights, and stories? You need to start doing it immediately.

Read This: 8 Things I Wish I Learned In College.

5. Take stock of your habits and behaviors.

Which ones move you forward? Which ones hold you back? Which ones do nothing? Understand these habits and begin to change them — it won't happen overnight — but a slow, focused and determined process will allow you to overcome almost anything.

How? Write down some of the habits you know hold you back — procrastination, cocooning, etc. Put in place behaviors which will counteract some of these bad habits. If you cocoon (stay in your office all day) — get out and meet new people.

Read This: How To Eliminate Procrastination From Your Life.

6. Be a billboard.

There are people who want you. They want what you can do. They want your products and services. They just can't find you. How?

Read This: How To Become Unfireable: Be A Billboard.

Don't be afraid of 2015. It's imperative you buck that trend 180 degrees and embrace your future. In good and bad times, there are people out there making a lot of money and getting promotions. You can do it too.

Don't hide. Get out there and do things that SCARE you.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. How did you like this article? Let me know. Are you interested in learning more? Let’s talk. I work with people from all over the world who need to take aggressive steps in their career — call me to schedule a test drive.

How To Take Charge Of Your Job Search.

I've worked with hundreds of job-seekers and presented to thousands about searching for a job. A lot (and I mean A LOT) of people derail their job search for one simple reason: You're scared.

It's not a horror movie scare where the monster jumps out at you in a dark room. It's a pervasive and creeping scare that festers and grows in the back of your brain.

You slowly disorient yourself, knock your game off a bit, throw obstacles in the way and ultimately, cower and hide in your house.

And it all comes down to ONE simple reason — you are doing something totally alien from what you've done all your life. Looking for a job is completely different from having a job. Why?

• You have to self-assess your qualifications, experience, and abilities.
• You have to write in a marketing style using your self-assessment.
• You have to go out, introduce yourself to strangers and meet new people.
• You might have to change your style and how you present yourself.
• You will be meeting people who are highly critical and will ask you questions which will obliterate your confidence.
• You will have to quickly ramp up your interview game with improved body language and talk tracks.
• You will have to sell . . . Yourself . . . every day. A lot of people compare it to professional begging.
• You have to be totally organized and follow up with key prospects (and laggards who don't get back to you).
• Finally, you have to be extremely professional, happy, motivated, energized, and focused during the whole process.

Now you know why many people in transition hire coaches. It's hard to find a job.

But I find being scared is the #1 reason why most people procrastinate and fail at their job search. You get laid off, you take a week or two (or three or four) to recover and get down to business. You get your résumé done, you begin searching web sites for job postings and you even might apply to a few. You don't get any responses, so what do you do? You apply to some more. No responses? Reach out to a recruiter and watch as they demolish your background, your résumé, and any self-esteem left over from your last departure (okay, not all recruiters). Throw in some lunches with friends and family who hurt you more than help and suddenly, you're this person:

• You walk your dog every morning, for hours.
• You have the best looking yard on the block. The best.
• You surf political/interest/financial/news sites frequently, "To keep up on what's happening".
• You get up later and later. You stay up later and later.
• You begin to help out in the household — shopping, repairs, service people, etc.
• You begin to spend more and more time with your kids (picking them up, taking them to activities). Not a bad thing, but you have to look for work too.
• You might start eating or drinking a bit more. "You deserve it."
• And you start acting like you really don't need a job. (this is the death knell for jobseekers)

And the whole time, you're building a 'facade of fear' brick by brick until it becomes a wall 100 feet tall. Nothing is going to help you break through.

And then . . . you give up. I've coached people who have gone without work for 2, 3, 4 years! This is how their year flies by:

• January 1 to March 31 — It's a new year! Have to get a job! Send out resumes, get some interviews, play phone tag for months.
• April 1 to May 31 — Slightly power down search, depressed about the lost opportunities, frustrated about the process. Begins to work on yard — Spring is here!
• June 1 to August 31 — It's summer! No one looks for jobs now! I get to take off the summer and tell people I will dive right in September 1. I can spend time with the family!
• September 1 to November 15 — Have to restart that old job search engine! Review all my old searches, reach out to new people, and the first objection shuts me down again.
• November 16 to December 31 — Holidays! No one will be at the office (they're empty!) and no one wants to talk to me. Let's wait until January 1 to power up again.

Does this sound like you? I coach businesses and executives too and they think the exact same way. They know they need to change, but the year flies by too fast and suddenly, it's November 16th!

How to you lessen and conquer your fear? First, you have to be very truthful with yourself and diagnose your fear:

• Do you feel you are inadequate? Unqualified?
• Do you feel you've fallen behind in your career? Industry?
• Do you read job postings and find many terms new and unfamiliar?
• Do you have a hard time promoting yourself?
• Do you have a hard time meeting new people?
• Do you not want to change how you comport and promote yourself?
• Can you not take constructive criticism from people without it destroying your self-esteem?
• Do you not like to sell? Cold-call people?
• Do you have a hard time with organization, time management, and follow-up?
• Are you too old/young? Too fat/skinny/bald/ugly/unkept?

Guess what? Many of these might be true. But here's some sunlight at the end of the tunnel — they're all fixable. Except for the bald part, I've tried.

And here's the best part — most of them are only partially true, or not true at all. Why? We are our own worst enemy — our own worst critic — and when we spin each of these 'dysfunctions' around in our brain, we make them worse and worse as time flies by. I tell clients we all have a small Stephen King in the back of our brains, spinning horror stories about our problems, our dysfunctions, and our inadequacies.

Fear is the most powerful destabilizer I know. Your fear of the future can knock you off your feet and cripple your job search for months. But I have a SOLUTION. Follow these steps:

1. Your middle name from now on is ACTION. If you stand still and worry, fear will overcome you. ACTION will eliminate your fear. Trust me.
2. Get on a strict schedule Monday through Friday. Make a pact with yourself to work at least 30 hours a week on your job search (40 is optimal).
3. Get up early (sorry sleepyheads). If you start your day early, you will get a lot more done.
4. Time-block your schedule. Account for every hour every day. Fill up your schedule with important items — calls, meetings, research, etc.
5. Make sure you get out of your house once a day. Go to the library, Starbucks, the park. Anywhere except your house.
6. Make sure you keep your body moving. Work out, walk, run — do something to keep you fit and healthy. Eat less, eat the right foods, and tone up your body. You have to package your look in the best way possible.
7. Get out and meet people. Reach out to old friends, colleagues and meet for coffee. Pick out the ones that energize you. Ask for help.
8. Network. Go to events, meetings, conferences, charity events — meet people, shake hands, learn about what they do.
9. Hit the Three-Legged Stool of Search. Check out the company boards, reach out to recruiters, and most of all, research and reach out to companies and key people who might hire you.
10. Push yourself. Try something new every day. What will be happening in the next 5 years in your industry? Figure it out.
11. Buy a new suit/shirt/blouse/tie/shoes. Look good. Hire a style consultant or walk into Nordstroms/Brooks Brothers/Other and have their style person help you.
12. Track, Track, Track. Keep a list of all your prospects, interviews, people, etc. Look at it every day and move the ball forward.
13. Keep a sunshine file or wall. Fill it up with powerful/memorable items on it. When you're down — look at it.
14. Motivate yourself every day. Listen to motivational speakers on your smartphone. Listen to music. Work out. Do something!

Just keep moving. If you slow down, think of something else you can do. Fear is the ultimate destabilizer and can derail your search for months (and even years!). The faster you find a job, the better you'll feel.

And if these items don't help — let me add a bit more gasoline to your fire:

Let's say you made $120,000 a year. That's $10,000 a month. If you are unemployed for one month, you've just cost your household $10,000. That's $2,500 a week. Or $500 every workday you don't work.

So if you goof off for ONE DAY — that's $500. So go to the bank, take out $500, and put each bill into your shredder. Because when you are not looking for a job, your shredding money.

It's that simple.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Need help with your fear? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with hundreds of people who wanted to take aggressive steps and re-start their job search — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

How To Eliminate Your Fear Of Hard Work.

I work with a broad spectrum of clients. All the way from the CEO to the college graduate, I help people overcome obstacles and better understand what's holding them back.

One recurring area I encounter is the fear of 'more work'. What do I mean by 'more work'?

It's the belief which holds accomplished executives back from pursuing a promotion or opportunity with another company because they believe that more money or new job equals more work, increased responsibilities, and more headaches/exposure. It might even be a small project offered to them.

It's also the belief where unemployed people are unwilling to interview and go after work because they are afraid of the idea of working 60-70-80 hours a week. It's less painful to stay home and surf the web.

It might be the opportunity to expand your business, take on additional employees/consultants, make a lot more money. But you shy away from these situations frequently.

Fiction is often scarier than reality in this situation.

You might have to work hard your first few weeks/months on the job. That's a fact. You have to get acclimated, develop a reputation, and deliver before you can click into 5th gear and use less gasoline (time and effort).

Here's how to face your fear:

Sit down and clearly lay out what you're actually afraid of. Is it the hours? The hard work? The exposure? Rebuilding your reputation? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Never going to see your family again?

Write it down. Get all of your emotions down on paper. Draw. Sketch. Make that paper a visceral representation of how you feel about change.

Then step back, look at it, and realize your representation is achievable and frankly, not that scary.

It's like a horror movie — we are actually more scared of the monster that we don't see (e.g., like Jaws, Alien) than the one that pops out at the start of the movie.

You need to realize this representation is not a state which will last forever. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel — it's probably going to last 3-4 months TOPS.

Now go get that new position with vim and vigor!

How do you face your fears?

Our Favorite Four-Letter Word Starts With An 'F'.

Gotcha. You thought I meant that other word. I'll save it when I hit my finger with a hammer.

Today's four-letter word starting with an 'F' is: FEAR.

We all have some sort of fear at some level at some time in our life. It might be a very present fear staring us in the face or it might be a background fear hiding in the attic — but it's still there doing its dirty work.

I know your fears. How? We all have the same fears . . . Fear of:

• Meeting new people
• Asking or demanding more from your team
• Stepping outside of our comfort zone
• Pushing back on your boss or a client
• Losing your job or a major client
• Fear of failure
• Fear of success (this happens more than you think)

Fear sucks. But what really is fear?

• It's the future. It's what is going to happen.
• It's the unknown. Anything can happen. You might looks stupid or unprofessional.
• It's the loss of security. When you are insecure, you begin to get anxious.
• It's your mind taking you from anxiety, mixing in a little bad thinking — and you get fear.

Anxiety is not all bad. It's your body telling you that you are stepping out of a secure zone in your life. You're pushing yourself — you're trying something new.

Unfortunately, your mind takes over and you begin to spin terrible stories in your head about 'what might happen' and fear rears it's ugly head.

So how do you conquer fear? 

1. Acknowledge you are stepping into an area that is new or hard. You are pushing yourself.
2. If you feel anxiety, stay there, let your body feel the anxiety for a little while — it will fuel your next step.
3. You need to get back into a secure mode. How do you do that? You need the other four-letter word: "PLAN".

The best way to deal with fear is to have a PLAN. And not a 20-page plan. Sit down and write up a simple one-page plan with steps and activities on it. What happens?

• You begin to stop worrying about the future and stay in the present.
• You start to envision a gradual set of tasks to take you from where you are to where you need to be.
• You have a process to fall back on in case fear creeps into your head again.

"Do what you fear, and the death of fear is certain." - Anthony Robbins 

What do you FEAR? Do you have a PLAN to take care of it?

Image provided by Alex Talmon at Unsplash (Free - do whatever you want - hi-resolution photos).

How To Deal With Stress At Work.

As a coach, I deal with client stress issues all the time. It comes with the job. I  help my clients by focusing in on three simple philosophies from a book called Self-Powerment — written by Dr. Faye Mandell, an incredible woman and friend (go out and buy her book TODAY!).

Let’s get down to the facts: There are three stressors which tend to hit us when we least expect it — Fear, Anger and Guilt. What Faye tries to do is to get you back into your original human emotional needs we all experience — Security, Being In Control, and Feeling Adequate.

Here’s how your body and mind work (this will sound repetitive, it is, but stay with me):

Security

We all need to feel some sense of  security at home, on the street and at work. If your security is threatened, your natural feeling moves from security to anxiety. This is your body telling you something is wrong with your natural state of security. But it’s okay — your job is to understand you are anxious and you have to move back to some sort of security, by thinking of options or taking action.

Unfortunately, we let our brain take over and let our feelings ‘corrupt’ our anxiety and turn it into FEAR. Our mind has taken our present need and projected it in the FUTURE. We are no longer living in the present, but fearing for the future.

Example: Fear of speaking in public. You have a speech to give and you begin to develop stories about how you will fail and the audience's reaction.

Being In Control

We all need to be in control at some level in our lives.If we get out of control, our emotions move from Conrol to Frustration. Again, this is your body telling you something is wrong - you’re not in control of something you usually control. You need to realize something (or someone) is frustrating you and you have get back and take control of the situation.

Once again, we let our brain take over and let our feelings ‘corrupt’ our frustration and turn it into ANGER. Our mind has taken our present need and has allowed OTHER PEOPLE & THINGS to take control. We are no longer in control of our own life, we are letting other people and things take over.

Example: Your kids. They mess up the kitchen, you get frustrated, and your mind moves to anger. It happens to me ALL the time (they're boys).

Feeling Adequate

Feeling adequate is a strong emotional need in our lives. If we suddenly feel inadequate, we quickly start feeling disappointed or sad. Again, it's fine — your sadness is telling you to move back and regain your adequacy in one way or another.

And once again, we let our brain take over and let our feelings ‘corrupt’ our adequacy and turn it into GUILT. Our mind has taken our present need and has projected it in the PAST. We are no longer living in the present, but worrying about the past.

Example: Someone says something you don’t quickly grasp. You begin to feel sad you never received a graduate degree, and you feel guilty.

Got it? Dr. Mandell’s position is to move quickly from the past, future, & people/things and get into the “I AM” or present state.

The way I interpret it: You can’t change the past, it’s difficult to change people/things, and stop worrying about the future — live in the present and take action.

What do you do when you are insecure, not in control, or feeling inadequate at work?

Image provided by Jonas Nilsson Lee at Unsplash.

When Things Aren't Working - Do The Opposite.

There's a famous Seinfeld episode where George is at a very low point in his life. Nothing is working and he doesn't know what his next step should be.

You can watch it here: http://youtu.be/cKUvKE3bQlY

What would happen if YOU did the opposite of what your instincts (fear) tell you? If what you've been doing has been delivering the wrong results, what would happen if you did the exact opposite? For example:

• If you have a bad communication channel with your boss, your natural instinct is to shy away. What if you increased your communication and asked the best channel to communicate?
• If you are reticent about attending an event, go to the event with a few friends, buy a new suit, and have new business cards printed. Engage people once you enter and act like the host.
• Having problems with a client or colleague? Instead of letting it go and fester, make a point of engaging that person and see how you can make your relationship healthier, stronger and more resilient.

So instead of doing what you ALWAYS do, try the exact opposite. See what happens — you might surprise yourself!

New Job Success Or Failure: Your First Day.

Here are some quick tips I give all of my clients prior to their first day on the job:

Prepare

This is a critical task for you and sets up every other thing you do for your first day. You need to get this done 24 hours prior to your first day.

• Get all of your paperwork together. Everything that needs to be signed, your license, passport, etc.
• Pick your clothes and make sure they look great. You will feel better if they are all laid out and ready to go.
• Polish (men) and touch up (ladies) your shoes - they need to look great.
• Make your lunch the day before.
• Set the timer on your coffeemaker so you wake up to hot coffee.

Meditate

Yes, meditate. When you get up or after your shower, sit on your bed, close your eyes, and relax. Say to yourself:

• I will do great. I have years of experience ready to burst out of me.
• They love me - they picked me over every other applicant.
• I won't screw up - I will ask questions when I am unsure.

Day One is always the hardest day - it is built up with anxiety and fear - meditation will help you get centered. Take 1-2 minutes for yourself.

Leave Early

If your commute is 30 minutes, leave 1 hour early. This is a new route, with new traffic patterns and unknown hazards. Give yourself ample commuting time to get there with enough buffer to ensure you are stress-free and ready to go. If you get there early, that's fine.

Arrive Early/Stay Late

It sends the right message to your superiors, peers and team. It shows you are a 'hard' worker and sets the stage for building your reputation at your organization.

Smile, Smile, Smile

First impressions are made within the first 10 seconds. You are going to meet a lot of people - you don't have to remember their name - but smile and be engaging. It will give them a good sample of who you really are and get you off on the right foot.

Ask Questions

You are not inexperienced, you just need to measure how you will do things, where things are, and what to do with them. If you don't ask questions, you will probably stall and not work as efficiently as you usually would. Get through those obstacles and make things happen!

Try To Eat With Your Boss or Peers

It gives you another chance to quiz them on the more intangible areas of your position/organization. In any event, try to have lunch with all of the people you will touch at your job.

Go Home & Relax

It's been a crazy day. Come home, get into comfy clothes, and lay down on your bed. Embrace the feeling and memories of your new job — review the day with your spouse or partner.  This debrief is not only important, it's critical. It allows you to download your thoughts, experiences and emotions.

Go To Bed Early

It's been a tough day — go to bed one hour early to be fresh for the next day!

The Number One Way People Get Derailed.

It happened to you again. It's happened to me. It's happened to all of us at one time or another. We blame other people, circumstances, luck, your parents, your family, and ultimately the finger always points back at YOU.

Only you can change your situation. But we sometimes are afraid of what might happen. We start making up elaborate stories about what 'will' happen. We get caught up with a lack of inspiration, confidence, focus, energy, and my favorite persistence. How don't you get derailed? 

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

I get a lot of business cues from watching Mad Men, a tv series based in an ad agency in the 1960's. During the last episode, the main character, Don Draper is frustrated at the firm's new win — Jaguar and Dunlop Tires. He states, " These are piddly-little companies — I want Chevy and Firestone. Forget Lucky Strike, I want Dow Chemical." His partner instantly retorts back, "This is the old Don Draper, I've missed him." And subsequently makes the Dow Chemical meeting happen.

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

Right now — what's the one thing you would do to make your career, your job, your business BETTER?

Who would you call? What would you do? What can you affect?

Here's the secret: Just Do It. Make It Happen.

Are You Paralyzed At Work?

During my coaching sessions, I run into a lot of "Fear of Failure" discussions. People who are paralyzed because they feel if they take action (any action), they will fail and the world will come crashing down upon them. I also experience "Fear of Success" with some of my clients. This one is even more insidious — it tends to show you the way to success and then the right side of your brain kicks in and you begin to worry about all the life changes (usually negative) which will impact your relationships, your routine, and your work. So you stop in your tracks.

But there is an even more sinister dysfunction out there — I call it "Fear of Completion". And a lot of people have it. 

I do. I think it stems from having a perfectionist streak in certain things you do and it causes the person to never reach completion on certain actions, projects, or services. You're always afraid you can do it 'just a little bit better'.

In addition, it plays nicely with Fear of Failure and Success — you don't want to deliver it because you are afraid of failure (you have to fix it or do it again) or success (you have to then do more of it).

You see this happen when people are writing books, or developing a workshop, or rolling out technology. They keep adding areas or functionality to the deliverable so they never have to experience the reality of their actions.

They like to live in project limbo. I call it Maybe-Land. They're not getting a 'Yes this is great' or a 'No this sucks' — they get no response, because they haven't delivered it yet. Maybe-Land is a warm and fuzzy place to live. Most people out of work like to live in Maybe-Land — they don't follow up on leads or interviews, because they might get a 'No'. Or even scarier, a 'Yes'.

How do you eliminate "Fear of Completion"? Two suggestions:

1. Set a firm deadline and let everyone know about it. You have to deliver it within 90 days. You are going on a diet and losing 50 pounds by this date. Publish it everywhere — tattoo it on your forehead.
2. Promote someone on your team or ask a colleague to physically take the presentation, the site, the project and launch it when they think it's ready. You will never think it's ready and continuously add functionality. They will stop the insanity and launch it (on-time).

Do you suffer from one of these fears? What do you do to ameliorate them?

How To Deal With Pessimists & Obstructionists.

Ever read something that so truly resonates with your soul? Something that clearly explains all the obstacles you had at work? Something clearly defining and segmenting out those people that waste your time?  I did. This past weekend, I caught up with some reading that I've been putting off lately.

One of my free ebooks I received when I bought Seth Godin's Linchpin (my favorite book of 2010) was a short ebook titled: "Insubordinate". Go get Linchpin today.

In it, Seth hits upon a powerful line of thinking on how to segment WHO you work with every day. I don't like to 'over-quote' on my blog — but Seth clearly hits a home run with his writing and I know I would do it a disservice if I paraphrased.

1. Linchpins

"The people who make a difference, the ones who ship, the rare ones who truly have an impact. This group of people, in that moment of time, changes everything."

2. Supporters

"Eager and willing to help. They respect and admire the work the linchpin is doing, and they’re ready to supply leverage or money or just a smile to help get the job done. Even better, they challenge the linchpin to do more, dig deeper, and make an even bigger difference."

3. Leeches, Advocates for the Devil, and Bystanders

"These are the pessimists, the obstructionists, and the protectors of the status quo. Driven largely by fear, they set out to slow you down, whittle you down, and average you down."

"People don’t end up in this group because they choose to be there; they end up there because the lizard brain is so freaked out and the resistance is so loud that they really don’t have any choice."

"What I do is mentally affix a red “L” (for leech) to their forehead and then, for as long as I can, avoid them. Like potholes in an otherwise smooth road, it’s just easier to drive around them."

"At the same time, I feel sorry for them. They are in this group because of fear, not by choice. They wrestle every day with overwhelming feelings of impending doom. It’s not a permanent condition, but I’m not sure it’s your job to heal them."

Powerful. So here are today's question(s):

How often do you put up with the Leeches . . . how often do they step in your way, stop you, warn you, and scare you (with their fears)?

What are you going to do about it?

When The Worst Thing You Can Imagine Happens.

"First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst." — Dale Carnegie Yesterday, I wrote about fear. Sometimes our fear of the worst that can happen paralyzes us. We don't move. We do nothing.

Here's the reality — the worst almost never happens. Maybe 1 time in 100 or 1000. But we act and react as it it's right around the corner. We act as if it's a certainty.

That's why I always fall back on my good friend Dale Carnegie and remember his incredible book, "How To Stop Worrying And Start Living". Link: http://amzn.to/mzAoSk

The writing style is classic Carnegie. To put it simply, the guy just writes like he talks. This makes for a very friendly and easy to understand book, rather like a good friend giving you a piece of advice.

And a lot of advice he gives. The book is divided up into ten sections, each one tackling some aspect of worrying. Let me just say that book covers just about every major "worry issue" that might be causing a troubled mind, such as your work, your finances, other people's criticisms- and them some.

• Deal with the worry.
• Prepare to accept it.
• Proceed to improve on the worst.

In other words, figure out what bad things might happen and put mitigation steps into place to ensure they don't happen. It's that easy.

What do frequently worry about? What steps have you taken to improve upon it?

Are You Throwing Happiness Out The Window?

Lately, a lot of people feel 'stuck' in their life. Why?

• Because of their past decisions leading up to the present.
• Because of the possibility of jumping into another terrible position.
• Because of the economy.

This is what I call "Not Living In The Present". Why? Let's look at the three reasons again:

• PAST GUILT: Past decisions leading up to the present.
• FUTURE FEAR: Possibility of jumping into another terrible position.
• DISPLACED ANGER: The economy.

Past Guilt

Blaming actions in the past that you feel are affecting the present. You are currently not feeling 'adequate' to attempt to jump to a new job because of your past failings, lack of knowledge/experience, or some other situation that might have happened to you.

Solution: You can't do anything about it. Stop frustrating yourself because of things that have happened in the past and start dealing with the qualities, experience, and talents that you currently have. Make a list - you will surprise yourself.

Future Fear

Being scared of the future may be real to you, but in reality, a waste of your time and energy. Why? You are predicting the future . . . if you knew exactly what was going to happen, go buy a lottery ticket. We hold ourselves back because we are insecure of what 'might' happen and we begin to concoct elaborate stories in our head to make them real.

Solution: Deal with your anxiety about the future — start making a plan based on reality and move from fear back into a strong secure place in your head and life. Sit down and map out specific goals you want to accomplish and those activities and tasks that will get you there. Add a timetable and you are done!

Displaced Anger

Blaming other people or forces about your misery is a common practice with many of my clients. Because of the marketplace, the economy, your clients, or a crazy boss, you are eliminating all ability to take control of the situation. There are always other options to any situation, unfortunately, we tend to throw them out the window and begin to blame things we cannot control.

Solution: Uncover, understand, and focus on the things you CAN control. Start breaking down your frustrations with outside forces and other people and begin to see opportunities that were hidden from you. The best way to do this is to state your situation, come up with alternatives, and brainstorm options, no matter how crazy or outlandish they are. You'll find that some of these options quickly turn into opportunities.

Start living in the present. You will be much happier and have abundant energy to change where you are NOW.

What Are You Afraid Of . . . Failure Or Success?

At some time in our careers, we self-sabotage. We know we need to do 'A' to move forward, but somehow we find ourselves doing 'B'. And 'B' isn't as good as 'A'. In fact, 'B' might make us take a number of steps backwards. But we do it anyway.

Why? Fear of Failure & Fear of Success.

Fear of Failure is simple - we don't want to attempt something if we feel that it's going to fail in the end — a sales call not attempted, a higher price asked, etc. We retreat to that safe, warm, and fuzzy place in our heads that takes us away from all possible failure scenarios. Unfortunately, you might be wrong — that call or price might be accepted and you suddenly move forward at a blinding speed with your career . . . and that's where fear of success steps in.

Fear of Success is even more insidious and calculating than fear of failure. It hides in the deep recesses of our psyche and when it comes out, we usually don't even notice it. Fear of Success sabotages our ability to make great leaps forward in our career by preying upon our irrational fears.

So how do we fix this?

Fear of Failure - Just do it. Most of the time, we are just putting up obstacles to procrastinate and hide of the pain of rejection. But the reality is that you usually have a better chance of acceptance is you just take action. Also - the rejection is not as bad as you think - so just do it.

Fear of Success - Get real. Most of the internal stories we tell ourselves are based upon fantasy. If we lose weight, we'll cheat on our spouse . . . if we get that big promotion, we'll never see our family again . . . and on and on and on. Sit down and list all the irrational ways you fear success, write them on paper. Then take each one and dissect it with a clear head and only use FACTS. You'll find that most of your fears are highly irrational and not based in the real world.

Now go out and face the world without fear!