Fear

Top 10 Clear Signs It's Time To Quit Your Job.

Top 10 Clear Signs It's Time To Quit Your Job.

Here's my Top 10 (in no real order of importance) list why you should probably quit your current position and move on . . .

What's Holding You Back? You Are.

What's Holding You Back? You Are.

The more insidious of life's obstacles are your internal obstacles.

People, institutions, rules, regulations, and hierarchies all play major roles in our life. They get in our way, they make us stumble, we get frustrated, and we give up.

I Found Out I Have PMR*.

I came upon a great quote from the Dalai Lama —  "There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do, and mostly live."

How often do we feel disappointed/guilty about yesterday and anxious/fearful about tomorrow? Probably a lot.

How do we live in 'today' increments? How do we focus on what needs to happen right now without letting the past and future hold us back?

I use a simple acronym - P M R:

P = Plan — Take 5 minutes to Plan your day. Get real, assess exactly what needs to get accomplished, and write it down. Just the stuff that needs to be done today. Add time increments to estimate how long each will take, prioritize each one, and then plug them into your day calendar.

M = Meditate — Take 5 minutes to Meditate. Clean the cobwebs! Sit back, close your eyes, and clear your thoughts. Start by taking a few deep breaths then use the exhalation to sigh and release the tension. Do it again. And again. I promise you will feel better and energized.

R = Reflect — Take 5 minutes to Reflect on all the good things in your life. Gratitude is an important part of staying in the present. We tend to focus and think of all the bad things, worry, forget, and then start the whole process again. Try to focus on the positive this time — your accomplishments, your family, etc.

Take the rest of the time and get stuff done! Don't be afraid of diving in and accomplishing your action items — in fact, you will feel invigorated. Trust me!

*Just found out there is a disease with the same acronym (there always is) - I do not have it nor am I at all using the acronym lightly.

Get Over Your Fear Of Pricing.

Whether you're established in business or just getting started, you want your pricing to position you as a leader – not as a follower.

Let me explain — you don’t have to be the most expensive, but you can’t be the cheapest and you surely can’t be a bargain! 

Clients and decision makers really do respect and value what they pay more for and here's why — it all comes down to your CREDIBILITY & CONFIDENCE. 

You could be an amazing coach, consultant, organizer, therapist, chiropractor, coder, designer, nutritionist, etc.,  but if you’re under-charging, you won’t have the credibility and confidence you need to make more money in your business. 

Credibility & confidence is definitely attractive — both open doors of opportunity for you because they define what you do is valued by others. Credibility and confidence gets you invited to speak at amazing events, or invited to partner with people who can help you grow your business. Plus, you’re recognized and you have new client referrals effortlessly flowing in to you. A confession — I used to stay safe and secure (comfortable) by keeping my prices low. I would say, "I don't want to leave anyone out that might want be a client with Rich Gee!"

Even more insidious, I was so afraid of hearing “NO” from potential clients that I priced my services really low so that getting a client never made any difference to my finances. Guess what . . .

“YES” never arrived until I tried something completely different. I did something completely different than I ever did before.

Today, I get YES’s from the right people instead of NO’s from the wrong ones. Did you catch it? That's the secret.

When someone runs away from my pricing, they are the wrong people for my practice. They don't appreciate the impact my coaching will have on their business. All they are thinking of is how much I will cost them — not how I will help them make a lot more money for a lot less headache (a LOT more money). I am no longer afraid to stand up for the value my services provide!

People are happy to pay us if we can show them how we can help them fix the problem they have. Yes, not everyone will say ‘YES’ and that is how it should be. But, if you cure a pain or help someone get pleasure faster and better than they can do it themselves, then charge more. A lot more.

TIP: If you want to move from a fear-driven pricing practice to value-driven mission in life, contact me today.

How To Take Charge Of Your Job Search.

I've worked with hundreds of job-seekers and presented to thousands about searching for a job. A lot (and I mean A LOT) of people derail their job search for one simple reason: You're scared.

It's not a horror movie scare where the monster jumps out at you in a dark room. It's a pervasive and creeping scare that festers and grows in the back of your brain.

You slowly disorient yourself, knock your game off a bit, throw obstacles in the way and ultimately, cower and hide in your house.

And it all comes down to ONE simple reason — you are doing something totally alien from what you've done all your life. Looking for a job is completely different from having a job. Why?

  • You have to self-assess your qualifications, experience, and abilities.
  • You have to write in a marketing style using your self-assessment.
  • You have to go out, introduce yourself to strangers and meet new people.
  • You might have to change your style and how you present yourself.
  • You will be meeting people who are highly critical and will ask you questions which will obliterate your confidence.
  • You will have to quickly ramp up your interview game with improved body language and talk tracks.
  • You will have to sell . . . Yourself . . . every day. A lot of people compare it to professional begging.
  • You have to be totally organized and follow up with key prospects (and laggards who don't get back to you).
  • Finally, you have to be extremely professional, happy, motivated, energized, and focused during the whole process.

Now you know why many people in transition hire coaches. It's hard to find a job.

But I find being scared is the #1 reason why most people procrastinate and fail at their job search. You get laid off, you take a week or two (or three or four) to recover and get down to business. You get your résumé done, you begin searching web sites for job postings and you even might apply to a few. You don't get any responses, so what do you do? You apply to some more. No responses? Reach out to a recruiter and watch as they demolish your background, your résumé, and any self-esteem left over from your last departure (okay, not all recruiters). Throw in some lunches with friends and family who hurt you more than help and suddenly, you're this person:

  • You walk your dog every morning, for hours.
  • You have the best looking yard on the block. The best.
  • You surf political/interest/financial/news sites frequently, "To keep up on what's happening".
  • You get up later and later. You stay up later and later.
  • You begin to help out in the household — shopping, repairs, service people, etc.
  • You begin to spend more and more time with your kids (picking them up, taking them to activities). Not a bad thing, but you have to look for work too.
  • You might start eating or drinking a bit more. "You deserve it."
  • And you start acting like you really don't need a job. (this is the death knell for jobseekers)

And the whole time, you're building a 'facade of fear' brick by brick until it becomes a wall 100 feet tall. Nothing is going to help you break through.

And then . . . you give up. I've coached people who have gone without work for 2, 3, 4 years! This is how their year flies by:

  • January 1 to March 31 — It's a new year! Have to get a job! Send out resumes, get some interviews, play phone tag for months.
  • April 1 to May 31 — Slightly power down search, depressed about the lost opportunities, frustrated about the process. Begins to work on yard — Spring is here!
  • June 1 to August 31 — It's summer! No one looks for jobs now! I get to take off the summer and tell people I will dive right in September 1. I can spend time with the family!
  • September 1 to November 15 — Have to restart that old job search engine! Review all my old searches, reach out to new people, and the first objection shuts me down again.
  • November 16 to December 31 — Holidays! No one will be at the office (they're empty!) and no one wants to talk to me. Let's wait until January 1 to power up again.

Does this sound like you? I coach businesses and executives too and they think the exact same way. They know they need to change, but the year flies by too fast and suddenly, it's November 16th!

How to you lessen and conquer your fear? First, you have to be very truthful with yourself and diagnose your fear:

  • Do you feel you are inadequate? Unqualified?
  • Do you feel you've fallen behind in your career? Industry?
  • Do you read job postings and find many terms new and unfamiliar?
  • Do you have a hard time promoting yourself?
  • Do you have a hard time meeting new people?
  • Do you not want to change how you comport and promote yourself?
  • Can you not take constructive criticism from people without it destroying your self-esteem?
  • Do you not like to sell? Cold-call people?
  • Do you have a hard time with organization, time management, and follow-up?
  • Are you too old/young? Too fat/skinny/bald/ugly/unkept?

Guess what? Many of these might be true. But here's some sunlight at the end of the tunnel — they're all fixable. Except for the bald part, I've tried.

And here's the best part — most of them are only partially true, or not true at all. Why? We are our own worst enemy — our own worst critic — and when we spin each of these 'dysfunctions' around in our brain, we make them worse and worse as time flies by. I tell clients we all have a small Stephen King in the back of our brains, spinning horror stories about our problems, our dysfunctions, and our inadequacies.

Fear is the most powerful destabilizer I know. Your fear of the future can knock you off your feet and cripple your job search for months. But I have a SOLUTION. Follow these steps:

  1. Your middle name from now on is ACTION. If you stand still and worry, fear will overcome you. ACTION will eliminate your fear. Trust me.
  2. Get on a strict schedule Monday through Friday. Make a pact with yourself to work at least 30 hours a week on your job search (40 is optimal).
  3. Get up early (sorry sleepyheads). If you start your day early, you will get a lot more done.
  4. Time-block your schedule. Account for every hour every day. Fill up your schedule with important items — calls, meetings, research, etc.
  5. Make sure you get out of your house once a day. Go to the library, Starbucks, the park. Anywhere except your house.
  6. Make sure you keep your body moving. Work out, walk, run — do something to keep you fit and healthy. Eat less, eat the right foods, and tone up your body. You have to package your look in the best way possible.
  7. Get out and meet people. Reach out to old friends, colleagues and meet for coffee. Pick out the ones that energize you. Ask for help.
  8. Network. Go to events, meetings, conferences, charity events — meet people, shake hands, learn about what they do.
  9. Hit the Three-Legged Stool of Search. Check out the company boards, reach out to recruiters, and most of all, research and reach out to companies and key people who might hire you.
  10. Push yourself. Try something new every day. What will be happening in the next 5 years in your industry? Figure it out.
  11. Buy a new suit/shirt/blouse/tie/shoes. Look good. Hire a style consultant or walk into Nordstroms/Brooks Brothers/Other and have their style person help you.
  12. Track, Track, Track. Keep a list of all your prospects, interviews, people, etc. Look at it every day and move the ball forward.
  13. Keep a sunshine file or wall. Fill it up with powerful/memorable items on it. When you're down — look at it.
  14. Motivate yourself every day. Listen to motivational speakers on your smartphone. Listen to music. Work out. Do something!

Just keep moving. If you slow down, think of something else you can do. Fear is the ultimate destabilizer and can derail your search for months (and even years!). The faster you find a job, the better you'll feel.

And if these items don't help — let me add a bit more gasoline to your fire:

Let's say you made $120,000 a year. That's $10,000 a month. If you are unemployed for one month, you've just cost your household $10,000. That's $2,500 a week. Or $500 every workday you don't work.

So if you goof off for ONE DAY — that's $500. So go to the bank, take out $500, and put each bill into your shredder. Because when you are not looking for a job, your shredding money.

It's that simple.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Need help with your fear? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with hundreds of people who wanted to take aggressive steps and re-start their job search — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

 

How To Eliminate Your Fear Of Hard Work.

I work with a broad spectrum of clients. All the way from the CEO to the college graduate, I help people overcome obstacles and better understand what's holding them back. One recurring area I encounter is the fear of 'more work'. What do I mean by 'more work'?

Our Favorite Four-Letter Word Starts With An 'F'.

We all have some sort of fear at some level at some time in our life. It might be a very present fear staring us in the face or it might be a background fear hiding in the attic — but it's still there doing it's dirty work.

How To Deal With Stress At Work.

Stress is a normal part of the workplace — what really counts is how you react and deal with it.

When Things Aren't Working - Do The Opposite.

There's a famous Seinfeld episode where George is at a very low point in his life. Nothing is working and he doesn't know what his next step should be.

You can watch it here: http://youtu.be/cKUvKE3bQlY

What would happen if YOU did the opposite of what your instincts (fear) tell you? If what you've been doing has been delivering the wrong results, what would happen if you did the exact opposite? For example:

  • If you have a bad communication channel with your boss, your natural instinct is to shy away. What if you increased your communication and asked the best channel to communicate?
  • If you are reticent about attending an event, go to the event with a few friends, buy a new suit, and have new business cards printed. Engage people once you enter and act like the host.
  • Having problems with a client or colleague? Instead of letting it go and fester, make a point of engaging that person and see how you can make your relationship healthier, stronger and more resilient.

So instead of doing what you ALWAYS do, try the exact opposite. See what happens — you might surprise yourself!

New Job Success Or Failure: Your First Day.

Here are key quick tips I give to all of my clients prior to their first day on the job.

The Number One Way People Get Derailed.

It happened to you again. It's happened to me. It's happened to all of us at one time or another. We blame other people, circumstances, luck, your parents, your family, and ultimately the finger always points back at YOU.

Only you can change your situation. But we sometimes are afraid of what might happen. We start making up elaborate stories about what 'will' happen. We get caught up with a lack of inspiration, confidence, focus, energy, and my favorite persistence. How don't you get derailed? 

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

I get a lot of business cues from watching Mad Men, a tv series based in an ad agency in the 1960's. During the last episode, the main character, Don Draper is frustrated at the firm's new win — Jaguar and Dunlop Tires. He states, " These are piddly-little companies — I want Chevy and Firestone. Forget Lucky Strike, I want Dow Chemical." His partner instantly retorts back, "This is the old Don Draper, I've missed him." And subsequently makes the Dow Chemical meeting happen.

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

Right now — what's the one thing you would do to make your career, your job, your business BETTER?

Who would you call? What would you do? What can you affect?

Here's the secret: Just Do It. Make It Happen.

Are You Paralyzed At Work?

During my coaching sessions, I run into a lot of "Fear of Failure" discussions. People who are paralyzed because they feel if they take action (any action), they will fail and the world will come crashing down upon them.

How To Deal With Pessimists & Obstructionists.

Ever read something that so truly resonates with your soul? Something that clearly explains all the obstacles you had at work? Something clearly defining and segmenting out those people that waste your time? I did. This past weekend, I caught up with some reading that I've been putting off lately.

When The Worst Thing You Can Imagine Happens.

Yesterday, I wrote about fear. Sometimes our fear of the worst that can happen paralyzes us. We don't move. We do nothing. Here's the reality — the worst almost never happens. Maybe 1 time in 100 or 1000. But we act and react as it it's right around the corner. We act as if it's a certainty.

What Are You Afraid Of . . . Failure Or Success?

At some time in our careers, we self-sabotage. We know we need to do 'A' to move forward, but somehow we find ourselves doing 'B'. And 'B' isn't as good as 'A'. In fact, 'B' might make us take a number of steps backwards. But we do it anyway. Why? Fear of Failure and/or Fear of Success.