How To Eliminate Your Fear Of Hard Work.

I work with a broad spectrum of clients. All the way from the CEO to the college graduate, I help people overcome obstacles and better understand what's holding them back.

One recurring area I encounter is the fear of 'more work'. What do I mean by 'more work'?

It's the belief which holds accomplished executives back from pursuing a promotion or opportunity with another company because they believe that more money or new job equals more work, increased responsibilities, and more headaches/exposure. It might even be a small project offered to them.

It's also the belief where unemployed people are unwilling to interview and go after work because they are afraid of the idea of working 60-70-80 hours a week. It's less painful to stay home and surf the web.

It might be the opportunity to expand your business, take on additional employees/consultants, make a lot more money. But you shy away from these situations frequently.

Fiction is often scarier than reality in this situation.

You might have to work hard your first few weeks/months on the job. That's a fact. You have to get acclimated, develop a reputation, and deliver before you can click into 5th gear and use less gasoline (time and effort).

Here's how to face your fear:

Sit down and clearly lay out what you're actually afraid of. Is it the hours? The hard work? The exposure? Rebuilding your reputation? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Never going to see your family again?

Write it down. Get all of your emotions down on paper. Draw. Sketch. Make that paper a visceral representation of how you feel about change.

Then step back, look at it, and realize your representation is achievable and frankly, not that scary.

It's like a horror movie — we are actually more scared of the monster that we don't see (e.g., like Jaws, Alien) than the one that pops out at the start of the movie.

You need to realize this representation is not a state which will last forever. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel — it's probably going to last 3-4 months TOPS.

Now go get that new position with vim and vigor!

How do you face your fears?

How To Deal With Stress At Work.

As a coach, I deal with client stress issues all the time. It comes with the job. I  help my clients by focusing in on three simple philosophies from a book called Self-Powerment — written by Dr. Faye Mandell, an incredible woman and friend (go out and buy her book TODAY!).

Let’s get down to the facts: There are three stressors which tend to hit us when we least expect it — Fear, Anger and Guilt. What Faye tries to do is to get you back into your original human emotional needs we all experience — Security, Being In Control, and Feeling Adequate.

Here’s how your body and mind work (this will sound repetitive, it is, but stay with me):

Security

We all need to feel some sense of  security at home, on the street and at work. If your security is threatened, your natural feeling moves from security to anxiety. This is your body telling you something is wrong with your natural state of security. But it’s okay — your job is to understand you are anxious and you have to move back to some sort of security, by thinking of options or taking action.

Unfortunately, we let our brain take over and let our feelings ‘corrupt’ our anxiety and turn it into FEAR. Our mind has taken our present need and projected it in the FUTURE. We are no longer living in the present, but fearing for the future.

Example: Fear of speaking in public. You have a speech to give and you begin to develop stories about how you will fail and the audience's reaction.

Being In Control

We all need to be in control at some level in our lives.If we get out of control, our emotions move from Conrol to Frustration. Again, this is your body telling you something is wrong - you’re not in control of something you usually control. You need to realize something (or someone) is frustrating you and you have get back and take control of the situation.

Once again, we let our brain take over and let our feelings ‘corrupt’ our frustration and turn it into ANGER. Our mind has taken our present need and has allowed OTHER PEOPLE & THINGS to take control. We are no longer in control of our own life, we are letting other people and things take over.

Example: Your kids. They mess up the kitchen, you get frustrated, and your mind moves to anger. It happens to me ALL the time (they're boys).

Feeling Adequate

Feeling adequate is a strong emotional need in our lives. If we suddenly feel inadequate, we quickly start feeling disappointed or sad. Again, it's fine — your sadness is telling you to move back and regain your adequacy in one way or another.

And once again, we let our brain take over and let our feelings ‘corrupt’ our adequacy and turn it into GUILT. Our mind has taken our present need and has projected it in the PAST. We are no longer living in the present, but worrying about the past.

Example: Someone says something you don’t quickly grasp. You begin to feel sad you never received a graduate degree, and you feel guilty.

Got it? Dr. Mandell’s position is to move quickly from the past, future, & people/things and get into the “I AM” or present state.

The way I interpret it: You can’t change the past, it’s difficult to change people/things, and stop worrying about the future — live in the present and take action.

What do you do when you are insecure, not in control, or feeling inadequate at work?

Image provided by Jonas Nilsson Lee at Unsplash.

Get Rid Of Stress Right Now.

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

Remember to put the glass down.

What glasses are YOU holding onto? Can you get rid of ONE glass today? What would your life be like if you ELIMINATED that glass?

Do it today.

Image provided by ex_magician at Flickr.

7 Ways to Be Happier at Work.

A recent report listed the happiest nations in the world. Guess what? The US didn't even make it into the top ten. So much for the American dream. Why are we so unhappy? Let's start by looking at the origin of the word. Happy is derived from the Icelandic word happ, meaning luck or chance. Is happiness then, by its very definition, elusive due its randomness? With that in mind, here are a number of suggestions that I hope can turn our collective frowns upside-down:

1. Smile. Turns out, smiling is directly linked to happiness. It may have started as a correlation but, over time, the brain linked the two. Don't believe me? Try this: smile (a nice big smile) and attempt to think of something negative. Either you will stop smiling or you won't be able to hold the negative thought.

2. Stop worrying. Worrying happens to be one of humanity's best traits. It is the underlying emotion behind foresight, planning, and forecasting. We worry because some future event is uncertain and that feeling is a cue for us to start thinking about how to address it. The problem is, we worry too much about things that are out of our control (like the economy, stupid). The US has one of the highest rates for mental disease and yes, worry is among the leading indicators. While it's true that there are plenty of things to worry about these days, take a deep breath, America, and stop sweating the small stuff.

3. Take a break. The US is one of the most overworked industrialized nations. But this is counterproductive for a nation of "knowledge workers." Overworking people to exhaustion is a horrible way to extract knowledge from people. Taking a break provides an opportunity to reflect and often it is during such times when the best ideas, our deepest insights, emerge. I insist on taking lunches out of the office; I insist that my colleagues do the same. Call it a siesta, naptime, or a mini-vacation. It works for many of the happier nations too.

4. Do things differently. Part of the problem at work for many people is boredom. We are stuck in a rut where we come in and do the same thing over and over and over again. Get your enthusiasm back by doing things differently. Make every effort to learn, to grow, and to challenge yourself. Take on more responsibility or attempt something you never thought you were capable of doing. Even if your responsibilities don't allow for much flexibility, try a different approach to your existing responsibilities.

5. Stop managing and start leading. If you're in management, you need to find ways to motivate and stimulate your employees. How? Stretch their minds. Empower your team by giving them more responsibility, more decision-making power, more autonomy. Equally important: be inclusive. Explain what is happening in the company as a whole and give your employees a broader perspective on how their jobs influence the overall business.

6. Delegate. One of the most destructive and counterproductive byproducts of the downsizing era is fear — many managers are scared to let go of control for fear that doing so will make them obsolete. I have news for you: if you feel that way, you already are obsolete. Being controlling is bad for business, not to mention bad for your physical and mental health. The best leaders always look for people better, smarter, and more capable than themselves. 7. Have fun. Here is some tough advice: If you don't like what you are doing, stop doing it. Life is too short to not have fun. I love what I do and when I stop loving it, I do something else. Even in this economy, you will be in high demand if you are good at what you do — and can do it with a smile on your face.

What are your tips for being happier at work?