Just Do The Opposite.

“Pay more attention to what losers do wrong than to what winners do right.” Really? Aren't you supposed to focus on the stars and mimic each step they've taken to get where they are? How many self-help and business books are out there prognosticating the way to our success? Millions.

The truth: Most successful people don't actually know why they're successful. Timing, relationships, hard work, family support and a huge helping of luck are what make most people successful.

I'm not saying we should ignore successful people — it is helpful to see what they do right — but we also need to put more weight on the mistakes unsuccessful people make or we'll miss a huge piece of the puzzle.

Here are some techniques to do this:

First — look inside at the 'loser' we all have inside us — part procrastinator, part fear of change, or part looking for that magic pill to change our life. We need to shine a light and conquer that part of ourselves first.

Second — understand there is an extensive gradation from loser to success and we travel back and forth on that line daily. Our decisions, the people we meet, and the things that happen to us all impact the point on our line. One fact — we are never total losers or extreme successes — we usually live in the middle and dance around.

Finally — you need to figure out what are those actions, behaviors, people, and triggers that push us forward in life and which ones hold us back. Once you start to understand these forces, you will move faster towards your goals and dreams.

Spend more time with people who energize you and less with those who enervate your soul.

When Things Aren't Working - Do The Opposite.

There's a famous Seinfeld episode where George is at a very low point in his life. Nothing is working and he doesn't know what his next step should be.

You can watch it here: http://youtu.be/cKUvKE3bQlY

What would happen if YOU did the opposite of what your instincts (fear) tell you? If what you've been doing has been delivering the wrong results, what would happen if you did the exact opposite? For example:

• If you have a bad communication channel with your boss, your natural instinct is to shy away. What if you increased your communication and asked the best channel to communicate?
• If you are reticent about attending an event, go to the event with a few friends, buy a new suit, and have new business cards printed. Engage people once you enter and act like the host.
• Having problems with a client or colleague? Instead of letting it go and fester, make a point of engaging that person and see how you can make your relationship healthier, stronger and more resilient.

So instead of doing what you ALWAYS do, try the exact opposite. See what happens — you might surprise yourself!