Our Favorite Four-Letter Word Starts With An 'F'.

Gotcha. You thought I meant that other word. I'll save it when I hit my finger with a hammer.

Today's four-letter word starting with an 'F' is: FEAR.

We all have some sort of fear at some level at some time in our life. It might be a very present fear staring us in the face or it might be a background fear hiding in the attic — but it's still there doing its dirty work.

I know your fears. How? We all have the same fears . . . Fear of:

• Meeting new people
• Asking or demanding more from your team
• Stepping outside of our comfort zone
• Pushing back on your boss or a client
• Losing your job or a major client
• Fear of failure
• Fear of success (this happens more than you think)

Fear sucks. But what really is fear?

• It's the future. It's what is going to happen.
• It's the unknown. Anything can happen. You might looks stupid or unprofessional.
• It's the loss of security. When you are insecure, you begin to get anxious.
• It's your mind taking you from anxiety, mixing in a little bad thinking — and you get fear.

Anxiety is not all bad. It's your body telling you that you are stepping out of a secure zone in your life. You're pushing yourself — you're trying something new.

Unfortunately, your mind takes over and you begin to spin terrible stories in your head about 'what might happen' and fear rears it's ugly head.

So how do you conquer fear? 

1. Acknowledge you are stepping into an area that is new or hard. You are pushing yourself.
2. If you feel anxiety, stay there, let your body feel the anxiety for a little while — it will fuel your next step.
3. You need to get back into a secure mode. How do you do that? You need the other four-letter word: "PLAN".

The best way to deal with fear is to have a PLAN. And not a 20-page plan. Sit down and write up a simple one-page plan with steps and activities on it. What happens?

• You begin to stop worrying about the future and stay in the present.
• You start to envision a gradual set of tasks to take you from where you are to where you need to be.
• You have a process to fall back on in case fear creeps into your head again.

"Do what you fear, and the death of fear is certain." - Anthony Robbins 

What do you FEAR? Do you have a PLAN to take care of it?

Image provided by Alex Talmon at Unsplash (Free - do whatever you want - hi-resolution photos).

Are You Paralyzed At Work?

During my coaching sessions, I run into a lot of "Fear of Failure" discussions. People who are paralyzed because they feel if they take action (any action), they will fail and the world will come crashing down upon them. I also experience "Fear of Success" with some of my clients. This one is even more insidious — it tends to show you the way to success and then the right side of your brain kicks in and you begin to worry about all the life changes (usually negative) which will impact your relationships, your routine, and your work. So you stop in your tracks.

But there is an even more sinister dysfunction out there — I call it "Fear of Completion". And a lot of people have it. 

I do. I think it stems from having a perfectionist streak in certain things you do and it causes the person to never reach completion on certain actions, projects, or services. You're always afraid you can do it 'just a little bit better'.

In addition, it plays nicely with Fear of Failure and Success — you don't want to deliver it because you are afraid of failure (you have to fix it or do it again) or success (you have to then do more of it).

You see this happen when people are writing books, or developing a workshop, or rolling out technology. They keep adding areas or functionality to the deliverable so they never have to experience the reality of their actions.

They like to live in project limbo. I call it Maybe-Land. They're not getting a 'Yes this is great' or a 'No this sucks' — they get no response, because they haven't delivered it yet. Maybe-Land is a warm and fuzzy place to live. Most people out of work like to live in Maybe-Land — they don't follow up on leads or interviews, because they might get a 'No'. Or even scarier, a 'Yes'.

How do you eliminate "Fear of Completion"? Two suggestions:

1. Set a firm deadline and let everyone know about it. You have to deliver it within 90 days. You are going on a diet and losing 50 pounds by this date. Publish it everywhere — tattoo it on your forehead.
2. Promote someone on your team or ask a colleague to physically take the presentation, the site, the project and launch it when they think it's ready. You will never think it's ready and continuously add functionality. They will stop the insanity and launch it (on-time).

Do you suffer from one of these fears? What do you do to ameliorate them?