ARTICLES
Written By Rich For You.
How To Deal With Stress At Work.
Stress is a normal part of the workplace — what really counts is how you react and deal with it.
As a coach, I deal with client stress issues all the time. It comes with the job. I help my clients by focusing in on three simple philosophies from a book called Self-Powerment — written by Dr. Faye Mandell, an incredible woman and friend (go out and buy her book TODAY!).
Let’s get down to the facts: There are three stressors which tend to hit us when we least expect it — Fear, Anger and Guilt. What Faye tries to do is to get you back into your original human emotional needs we all experience — Security, Being In Control, and Feeling Adequate.
Here’s how your body and mind work (this will sound repetitive, it is, but stay with me):
Security
We all need to feel some sense of security at home, on the street and at work. If your security is threatened, your natural feeling moves from security to anxiety. This is your body telling you something is wrong with your natural state of security. But it’s okay — your job is to understand you are anxious and you have to move back to some sort of security, by thinking of options or taking action.
Unfortunately, we let our brain take over and let our feelings ‘corrupt’ our anxiety and turn it into FEAR. Our mind has taken our present need and projected it in the FUTURE. We are no longer living in the present, but fearing for the future.
Example: Fear of speaking in public. You have a speech to give and you begin to develop stories about how you will fail and the audience's reaction.
Being In Control
We all need to be in control at some level in our lives.If we get out of control, our emotions move from Conrol to Frustration. Again, this is your body telling you something is wrong - you’re not in control of something you usually control. You need to realize something (or someone) is frustrating you and you have get back and take control of the situation.
Once again, we let our brain take over and let our feelings ‘corrupt’ our frustration and turn it into ANGER. Our mind has taken our present need and has allowed OTHER PEOPLE & THINGS to take control. We are no longer in control of our own life, we are letting other people and things take over.
Example: Your kids. They mess up the kitchen, you get frustrated, and your mind moves to anger. It happens to me ALL the time (they're boys).
Feeling Adequate
Feeling adequate is a strong emotional need in our lives. If we suddenly feel inadequate, we quickly start feeling disappointed or sad. Again, it's fine — your sadness is telling you to move back and regain your adequacy in one way or another.
And once again, we let our brain take over and let our feelings ‘corrupt’ our adequacy and turn it into GUILT. Our mind has taken our present need and has projected it in the PAST. We are no longer living in the present, but worrying about the past.
Example: Someone says something you don’t quickly grasp. You begin to feel sad you never received a graduate degree, and you feel guilty.
Got it? Dr. Mandell’s position is to move quickly from the past, future, & people/things and get into the “I AM” or present state.
The way I interpret it: You can’t change the past, it’s difficult to change people/things, and stop worrying about the future — live in the present and take action.
What do you do when you are insecure, not in control, or feeling inadequate at work?
Image provided by Jonas Nilsson Lee at Unsplash.
When Your Company Throws You A Left Hook To The Chin.
It's like YOGA for your career.
Yesterday, I heard through the grapevine (and the NY Times) a top-tier insurance company will be jettisoning one of their major divisions. Boy was my phone ringing up a storm yesterday! It's like IBM selling off their laptop division (oh . . . that's right . . . they did that already). Or when a #2 bookseller folds (whoops, that happened too). Whether it's a good decision or bad decision is not relevant — fasten your seat belts — it's happening.
There are a few immutable facts about the marketplace today:
- Change is constant. Don't ever think you will be safe forever. Just ask all those poor people on the farm in The Walking Dead.
- Change will usually upset your apple cart. No one is immune - from the CEO to the night cleaning staff, everyone can be affected.
- Change is accelerating. Years ago, it was rare when companies did this. But with global competition looking over our shoulder, we need to be more flexible, nimble, and agile.
Your first instinct is to get ANGRY: "How could this have happened?" or "What a stupid decision!". Be honest with yourself, most changes can be telegraphed for miles — you probably saw this coming months ago. Unfortunately, you (with thousands of your colleagues) said: "All is well" and stuck your head in the sand.
Your second instinct is to hide in your cubicle: "If I just keep my head down, the storm will pass over." That might work sometimes, but it leaves you in a very vulnerable position. If you keep doing the same old thing while the world changes around you, fate will ultimately stop at your cubicle and tap you on your shoulder.
Your third instinct is to fall into a deep MALAISE: "I hate this place." or "It's not like it used to be." or "They're making all the wrong decisions." I'll ask one question — how will that ever help you and your career? Stop it right now.
You have ONE decision to make — STAY or GO. I've covered the 'GO' to death on my site (just search 'career').
If you STAY, you need to change the dynamic. With any major change at a company, all the balls are thrown into the air and the smart, resourceful, and agile people are watching them intently. When they get close enough to catch, you'll see them sprinting and grabbing their opportunity. So here's your plan of attack:
- Keep your peripherals open. What areas have been unaffected? What areas are growing? Who's getting the watering, the feeding the TLC?
- Branch out and talk constructively to people. Learn about what's going on, who are the new movers and shakers, what are the best projects and products?
- Start brainstorming how you can help change the company. Come up with new ideas, new strategies, new efficiencies to do things. Tell people about them.
- Stay positive. When everyone else is jumping to a lifeboat, start to figure out how to right the ship and sail off into the sunset.