Are You Happy?

There are a lot of people out there who aren't happy. They hate their job, they hate their boss, their business is dysfunctional, or they are no longer motivated.

As a coach with a worldwide audience, this is a common symptom I find occurring throughout the world. Many people aren't happy.

They might be worried about their job. They might be afraid of making the wrong decision. They might hate management for they myriad ways they make bad decisions.

They might be worried about their customer base, or competition, or a massive change in the industry which will leave them behind.

When I run into someone who isn't happy, I give them three simple choices:

1. Do nothing. Keep complaining and do the same ol' thing.
2. Change the dynamic. Modify a process. Change your attitude.
3. Move. Get out and move on to another opportunity.

It's that simple. I never point people to #1 — they will remain unhappy and never change. I always point people to #2 — change something in their career or business that will make a substantial change to make them feel happy and energized again. If that doesn't work — we immediately move to #3 — get out ASAP.

When you're unhappy, you usually have lost control or direction. You need to re-acquire your bearings and change your situation. If you don't, it's just going to get worse — you will care even less, get frustrated more often, and eventually get sloppy about how you deliver your work. You ultimately get fired or your business closes. I see it happen ALL THE TIME.

So if you're unhappy — CHANGE THE DYNAMIC. Alter something with your business or job — just pick ONE area and try something new.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou

Energize Your Life In One Simple Step.

No, I don't want you to chug a six-pack of Five Hour Energy drinks. When we hang around people who energize us, we feel like Superman (or Supergirl). We get more done, we are more assertive, confident . . . we are performing optimally. And it shows to our boss, clients, peers, and staff.

When we hang around people who enervate us, it feels as if our life-force is sucked right out of our soul. We don’t feel like working, we hate our jobs, we despise our clients, and we count the hours until it’s time to go home.

The solution is simple — spend a bit more time around/conversing with energetic people and spend a bit less time around/conversing with enervating people. I said ‘a bit less’ because our families usually contribute to the enervating list. “To play better tennis, you MUST play with better tennis players.”

ACTION STEP: I have all my clients take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line splitting it into two vertical sections. At the top, put ENERGIZE on one side and ENERVATE on the other.

List of all the people who energize you — they are: Assertive, Confident, Happy, Smiling, Pleasant, Engaged, Upwardly Mobile, Think Work Is Fun/Challenge, Positive, Helpful.

Then I want you to list of all the people who enervate you — they are: Pessimistic, Gossipy, Demeaning, Finds The Worst In People & Things, Complains, Blames, Attacks, Very Critical, Not Helpful.

YOUR GOAL: Spend a lot more time with the energizers and a lot less time with the enervators. You will walk away with a positive, enthusiastic, and energized mind & body ready to take on anything life can throw at you.

Set up a meeting with an ENERGIZER today!

P.S. If you liked this simple step, I have 9 more tips to help you be more successful at work — CLICK HERE

8 Things I Wish I Learned In College.

I loved going to college. I learned a lot and grew a lot while I was there. In addition to all the facts and figures, I also learned many intangibles - how to communicate with very intelligent people, how to do real research, and how to solve difficult problems (to name just a few). But there were a few things I either missed or was never exposed to in my four years. During my 20 years in corporate management and 10+ years coaching, I found many different themes bubbling up to the surface time and time again. When it finally cut through my thick irish/polish/russian head, I made it a point of learning the best way to do them and then built each one in as a daily behavior. Here are my Top 8 (not 10, 16 or 20 - the best 8):

1. Change your game often.

Most people get stuck in rut — doing the same things day in and day out. Successful people in business are constantly assessing and changing what they do.

Read this: How To Successfully Change Your Game

2. Staying focused: the Pareto Rule.

If you are not reviewing your daily/weekly/monthly activities, you'll never get a good handle on streamlining your tasks and focusing on the important stuff.

Read this: How To Be Successful Every Day Extra credit: How To Be More Effective On The Job

3. Effective time management.

If you don't have control of your time, the days will fly by and you'll be wondering where all the time went. Just a few minutes a day will change the way you work.

Read this: Control Your Time By Designing Your Schedule

4. Communicating with difficult people.

It's a fact of life at work — you are going to run into people who are difficult to work with. They can be disagreeable, they can cause problems, or they can be your arch-enemy.

Read this: How To Deal With Very Difficult People

5. Recharging my enthusiasm daily.

No one likes to spend time with a negative person. Let's be honest, we don't like to spend time with neutral personalities either. Who do we love to spend time with? People who energize us — people with enthusiasm.

Read this: If You Aren’t Fired With Enthusiasm, You’ll Be Fired With Enthusiasm

6. Being proactive (not the face-cleanser).

Don't procrastinate and take charge of your career — what needs to be done and what can you do right now to ensure everything flows smoothly?

Read this: No Time? Focus on the Important

7. Keep people happy — under-promise & over-deliver.

This is a really hard one to overcome because we are trained at an early age to please other people for acceptance.

Read this: How To Make Your Boss & Clients Happy All The Time

8: Don't be so hard on yourself.

We drive ourselves hard and frequently pick on our actions - "That was stupid!" or "I can believe I did that!". As I tell my clients, there's a level where internal 'pushing' is good and then there's a level where it becomes a negative force in your life. If you make a mistake the first time, treat it as a learning experience. Hold off the self-recrimination for the 2nd or 3rd time you do it.

Read this: How To Never Make A Mistake At Work

Are You Crushing It Every Day?

“Love your family, work super hard, live your passion.” - Gary Vaynerchuk, from Crush It! Great words from Gary in one of my favorite books (I require all of my clients to read). He is spot on with this one.

See how he constructs the quote — Family — Work — Passion. Not the other way around.

Unfortunately, many of the C-Level clients I coach work it the other way and find they're not happy, they have a shitty marriage, they never see their kids or their kids hate them, and their only passion in life is putting in mucho hours on the job. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Yes — you've got the three M's — Money, Mansion, Mercedes (or Maserati) — but deep down, you're not happy. Something is missing and time is running out.

So here goes — you can have all three — it's just how you look at them AND how you prioritize them. I am currently working with the CEO/Owner of a top engineering firm and we're currently spinning the sequence around to help him enjoy the benefits of his labor. He's built the organization from the ground up and now it's time to enjoy life!

NUMBER ONE RULE — Family Comes First. No exceptions.

I'm not saying to fill up your calendar with family-oriented activities and let work suffer. Within reason, try to start your workweek by making time for your wife/partner, kids, friends, etc. If there is a baseball game, a romantic dinner, a morning run, hiking at the park — make sure it is recorded and blocked off on your calendar FIRST.

Again, within reason — I understand you work for a living. But taking a vacation day once in awhile is fine, even encouraged. Leave work early to catch your son's or daughter's soccer game. Come in late because you took your family to an early breakfast at your favorite diner. You know, the one where you all sit together with no TV, no smartphones and just eat and talk.

ACTION: Get your assistant in your office right now and start blocking off your calendar. TODAY.

NUMBER TWO RULE — Work Super Hard. But work smart.

I know you work hard. That's how you got to your position in the first place. But what got you to the captain's chair probably won't help you stay happy there. You worked hard, put in the thousands of hours of blood, sweat and tears. You made all the right decisions (and a few stinkers). You made the right connections with the right people. YOU HUSTLED.

Now it's time to sit in the captain's chair and start delegating even more. Don't act like Captain Kirk and accompany the away team on every mission, stay on-board the Enterprise and direct your resources in strategic ways. What got you here isn't going to keep you here for very long without compromising your home life, your happiness, and your health. You're not getting any younger either.

ACTION: Look at all your meetings and start culling them down by 10%. Stop reading every email/text that comes in. Have your assistant monitor your information flow and decide what get priority. They're the gatekeeper — ensure they guard the gate.

Cut down on one-on-ones with everyone — start to develop a sharper pyramid reporting structure with very few people touching you (no more than 5-7) Remember the Godfather? He had three direct reports — his Consigliere (who died - morte), and two Capos — Clemenza and Tessio. That's it.

NUMBER THREE RULE — Live Your Passion. But find what your REAL passion is.

Too many C-Level executives hit the big show and start to abuse the passion that got them there. They forget the fun, innovation, excitement and give in to boredom, politics, and hitting the targets for their buddies on the board. The world becomes pedantic and the passion flows out of them.

They try to make safe decisions and safe moves, and impact their business, their organization, and their customers. They prioritize their bonus, their safety, and their reputation over what's really important. I know it's hard, but sometimes you have to sacrifice the temporary pleasures to fully engage with what really matters. It's not all money (and if you believe it is - READ THIS - another mandatory book I recommend to C-Level clients).

ACTION: Sit down and assess what your real passions are right at this moment. What gets your motor running? What gets you excited about life? What motivates you to do GREAT work? You need to re-establish a connection with your passion and make sure you fill up your enthusiasm gas tank every day.

Are you crushing it every day?

"No excuses. Make it happen." - Rich Gee

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

5 Ways To Be Happy.

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.” - Unknown Too bad we'll never know who originally said this great quote. A little secret . . . this is one of my mantras in life. Let's think about it:

1. Stop complaining about your job. Start doing something about it. Take steps to make it more challenging, more interesting, more fun. Step out of your comfort zone and ask your boss for more work. Try to stretch yourself and speak about a new, strategic idea that might impact the company. Do something that changes your work dynamic — and see if that makes a difference.
2. Stop complaining about the economy. Many people today are making big bucks again. Go find them and see what they are doing. Copy them. Doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome is crazy — start benchmarking other successful behaviors and you'll slowly become successful. In the process, you might run across a person that you might want to hook up with that will demonstrably change your perspective.
3. Stop complaining about your marriage. At one time, you loved your spouse or partner. Find out why and focus in on those elements. You both have changed but take the time to fall in love AGAIN. Spend more time together, take little walks, go to dinner, get to know one another again. You might surprise yourself. Just open your heart to your spouse - that's the secret. Again, take the time to fall in love again.
4. Stop complaining about money. You have two choices, make due with what you currently have or change the game and make more. If you have to make due, go visit this site (http://almostfrugal.com/) or this site (http://zenhabits.net/the-cheapskate-guide-50-tips-for-frugal-living/)- they're the best. If you need to make more money, investigate if you have the ability for a raise at your current level. If not, you need to change the game and move laterally, up, or leave your job altogether. Another suggestion is to start doing something on the side that will make extra cash. I still remember meeting an older couple at a bed & breakfast who told my wife and I (we were newlyweds) to always have a side job that brought in extra income. They took old grape vines, twisted them into wreaths and sold them at craft shows - it paid for a very comfortable retirement.
5. Stop complaining about life. Life is made up of options and choices. Most of the time, people who are disappointed about life have limited their options and sometimes make the wrong choices. So, to make your life a little bit better, figure out how to expand your options and make more educated and informed decisions. Unless you're in prison, you always have options and choices — just broaden your perspective.

Get the pattern? Stop complaining about something in your life and start doing . . . take action and change it!