How To Think Creatively.

What once was a decaying NYC eyesore is now a hugely successful financial engine. The High Line, an old elevated rail-bed turned world-class park, has generated $2 billion in private investment and 12,000 new jobs in the area, including 8,000 new construction jobs.

Who would have thought?

A simple idea, mixed with enthusiastic support equals powerful change.

So how do you think creatively? Here's how I do it:

Step One - Eliminate Distractions

Turn off your email. Set your phone to voicemail. Go to an area where there are no home or work distractions. Sit in a comfortable chair with a clean table (a dining room table works best - dining rooms are BORING). Tell everyone to leave you alone for one hour.

Step Two - Get A Clean Piece Of Paper

If you can get an 11" x 17" sheet, great! Or regular size is fine too. Just make it white and clean. Get your favorite pen, pencil, or marker - we are going for broad-brush ideas. No erasers  - allowed mistakes and changed directions are encouraged!

Step Three - Don't Second Guess . . . Brainstorm

Now start laying out your idea. What are the basic elements? Don't write sentences . . . keep it to bold words or short phrases. Circle them. Cross stuff out (don't worry about making a mess). Fill the page with all the disparate ideas, tasks, activities, people, things, etc. you can think of.

Step Four - Step Back . . . Look For Connections

Now step back and look for ways to connect ideas together. Connect the What to the When to the Who to the Where. Forget about Why and How for now. Just focus on connecting, building, modifying, editing, and forming your creative vision.

Step Five - Build An Idea . . . Develop Activities . . . Set Dates

Now take a clean sheet and begin to move over the salient elements to coalesce your vision. Start to priortize each step, which one should come first, then second, then third. Start assigning how long each will take (ballpark) and who needs to be involved. Then align them all and develop a schedule.

Try it. This is how I develop new ideas for my business. It's worked for me for over 30 years. 

Now it's your turn.

If you're interested in The High Line, click here.

Hate Your Job? Here's How To Love It.

"Love is the greatest refreshment in life." - Pablo Picasso How much love is there in your life?

You probably love your parents, your spouse/partner, your kids . . . but what else do you love?

Do you love any of your friends? Colleagues? Nature? A beautiful day? A good book?

How about work? Do you love it? Hate it? If work was a long spectrum from Totally Love to Uncomfortably Despise, where would you fall on that line? 

During one of my free Inside Track Open Mike Sessions, we discussed this typical symptom of business. How can I move up that spectrum and better love what I do. Because if you love what you do:

• You do it better.
• You enjoy doing it.
• You are fulfilled doing it. Challenged.
• You learn.
• You grow.
• You have FUN.

So how do you love what you do? We first need to investigate why you don't love what you do. It's usually because of these four reasons:

1. It's boring. Or 'SOS' - you do the 'Same Old Stuff' every day.
2. You hate the business, the people, the commute, or the location.
3. You question or someone else questions your performance. You feel you are not fully qualified or someone is a severe critic.
4. It's not what you really want to do.

During our sold-out open mike session, I mentioned there are only three choices when it comes to work:

1. Endure. Stay and do nothing.
2. Change. Stay and change the game.
3. Leave. Get the heck out of there.

That's it. If you want to LOVE what you do, you can't choose #1 (endure). So if we take our model and apply it to our four reasons:

1. It's boring.

Change. Ask for more demanding/challenging work from your boss. Think of new ways to deliver to clients. Be inventive, take chances, use your imagination. Staying safe and fearful will only deliver more boredom. Trust me.

2. You hate the business, the people, the commute, or the location.

Leave. Changing any of these items is difficult (unless you can relocate or telecommute). But I've found, the best way to deal, is to make a wholesale change to a different environment. But be careful, you might just jump from the fat into the fire.

3. You question or someone else questions your performance.

You — Stop doing that. When we question our performance, it's usually based on a fear of forgetting something critical. Most of the time, we are correct and don't have to worry. Start using a checklist or redundancies to solve this problem.

Them — Ask them for constructive feedback rather than being just a critic. Ask them to help you do your job better. Ask others (who you feel are top performers) for insight and advice.

Otherwise . . . Leave.

4. It's not what you really want to do.

Analyze your options and environment and make a change to another position. Or leave and do what you really want to do.

A lot of these solutions might sound simple or trite. But it's the truth. You might be making it more complex, but if you sit down and lay out your situation, it probably falls within one of these four areas.

If you find it difficult — you probably don't want to change.

How To Deal With Pessimists & Obstructionists.

Ever read something that so truly resonates with your soul? Something that clearly explains all the obstacles you had at work? Something clearly defining and segmenting out those people that waste your time?  I did. This past weekend, I caught up with some reading that I've been putting off lately.

One of my free ebooks I received when I bought Seth Godin's Linchpin (my favorite book of 2010) was a short ebook titled: "Insubordinate". Go get Linchpin today.

In it, Seth hits upon a powerful line of thinking on how to segment WHO you work with every day. I don't like to 'over-quote' on my blog — but Seth clearly hits a home run with his writing and I know I would do it a disservice if I paraphrased.

1. Linchpins

"The people who make a difference, the ones who ship, the rare ones who truly have an impact. This group of people, in that moment of time, changes everything."

2. Supporters

"Eager and willing to help. They respect and admire the work the linchpin is doing, and they’re ready to supply leverage or money or just a smile to help get the job done. Even better, they challenge the linchpin to do more, dig deeper, and make an even bigger difference."

3. Leeches, Advocates for the Devil, and Bystanders

"These are the pessimists, the obstructionists, and the protectors of the status quo. Driven largely by fear, they set out to slow you down, whittle you down, and average you down."

"People don’t end up in this group because they choose to be there; they end up there because the lizard brain is so freaked out and the resistance is so loud that they really don’t have any choice."

"What I do is mentally affix a red “L” (for leech) to their forehead and then, for as long as I can, avoid them. Like potholes in an otherwise smooth road, it’s just easier to drive around them."

"At the same time, I feel sorry for them. They are in this group because of fear, not by choice. They wrestle every day with overwhelming feelings of impending doom. It’s not a permanent condition, but I’m not sure it’s your job to heal them."

Powerful. So here are today's question(s):

How often do you put up with the Leeches . . . how often do they step in your way, stop you, warn you, and scare you (with their fears)?

What are you going to do about it?

When The Worst Thing You Can Imagine Happens.

"First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst." — Dale Carnegie Yesterday, I wrote about fear. Sometimes our fear of the worst that can happen paralyzes us. We don't move. We do nothing.

Here's the reality — the worst almost never happens. Maybe 1 time in 100 or 1000. But we act and react as it it's right around the corner. We act as if it's a certainty.

That's why I always fall back on my good friend Dale Carnegie and remember his incredible book, "How To Stop Worrying And Start Living". Link: http://amzn.to/mzAoSk

The writing style is classic Carnegie. To put it simply, the guy just writes like he talks. This makes for a very friendly and easy to understand book, rather like a good friend giving you a piece of advice.

And a lot of advice he gives. The book is divided up into ten sections, each one tackling some aspect of worrying. Let me just say that book covers just about every major "worry issue" that might be causing a troubled mind, such as your work, your finances, other people's criticisms- and them some.

• Deal with the worry.
• Prepare to accept it.
• Proceed to improve on the worst.

In other words, figure out what bad things might happen and put mitigation steps into place to ensure they don't happen. It's that easy.

What do frequently worry about? What steps have you taken to improve upon it?

The One Mistake We All Make.

"In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you."— Warren Buffett

If you don't know Warren, he's an American industrialist and philanthropist widely regarded as one of the most successful investors in the world. Often called the "Oracle of Omaha", he is the primary shareholder, chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway. He is consistently ranked among the world's wealthiest people (third wealthiest person in the world as of 2011).

So he knows what he is talking about.

It's interesting Warren places integrity first. In today's work- and marketplace, the focus is centered on intelligence and energy. How much do you know? What experience do you have? What have you done? Are you willing to spend 10-12 hours a day (and more) knocking it out of the park for me?

But we always forget about integrity. A definition of integrity — "Adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty."

Let's be honest — how many times do you experience a concerted effort by management to adhere to moral and ethical principles? Where everyone displays a powerful moral character? Where people don't lie and endeavor to tell the truth in their business dealings?

I'm not saying the marketplace or workplace is totally devoid of integrity. But it does take a back seat to profits, targets, stock price and power. Not even a back seat . . . it's in the trunk with the spare tire.

In the wake of all the turmoil with Wall Street, Washington, and many boardrooms, (and even on Twitter lately) we all need to begin to make harder choices based on integrity. Who we invest in, who we purchase from, who we do business with.

And sometimes we need to look within for our anchor to integrity — because sometimes we fall short. We need to also pay attention to our own actions and decisions and how they impact others.

Whatever we do, we will continue to face ethical challenges. It's how we react to them that counts.

What do you do to stay ethically anchored?

Why Bad Things Happen When We Least Expect It.

"Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge." — Eckhart Tolle For many years, I felt bad things just happen in our lives. I'm not talking about a sudden death in the family, or a severe illness. That's truly unfortunate.

I'm talking about a bad boss, a missed job offer, or a client who got away at the last minute. These are situations thrust into our lives to not only teach us to appreciate the good times, but to also clearly understand something better is probably around the corner.

First off, I'm not trying to be mystical here. There are too many people in this world who expect a cavalcade of good things to be driven and deposited to their door. That's unrealistic and more often than not, an unreasonable frame of mind to live with.

But too many times I've found in my life, with my clients, and my colleagues a loss coupled with a better change right around the corner. For me, a bad boss was thrust into my life — I had to endure his unprofessional antics for about six months until one day, it delivered a clear decision for me to move on from that organization. I left the position and never looked back. Best decision I've ever made.

Are you in a similar position at work? Do you put up with unprofessional shenanigans that impact your position and your work?

This clearly comes into play when interviewing for a new position. How many times have you been passed over for a prime opportunity to then ultimately find a great position offered just a few weeks or months later? If you originally got the first job, the second would never have materialized. Has this ever happened to you?

Finally, clients are a fickle fish to fry. They come and go at a moment's notice. You might put in an enormous amount of work into getting their business and then — poof — they slip away at the last second.

Some people say working with Walmart is like owning a boat — you celebrate the first day of receiving the business and you celebrate the last day you do business.

I feel the client who gets away deserves to stay in the pond for another person to handle their business. Someone else will trundle along for you who is bigger, better, and more fun to do business with.

It took years for me to fully understand and appreciate this passage. I hope I helped you today.

What job, position, or client went away and then the universe suddenly opened up a new perspective to your career?

Motivation Is Your Worst Enemy.

Bosses suck. Motivational speakers are awful. Business books are boring. Your spouse/partner is wrong. I know you sometimes feel this way. I do.

Do you sometimes feel those forces in and around you are just pointing you towards disparate directions? Is it's just too much work to start . . . or if you start, the cavalcade of work will overwhelm you?

Here's the worst one — if you start, you'll know you'll give up midway through and ultimately fail? Again?

Most people live in a rut — doing the same thing every day — even though they are not really happy about where they are in life.

But when they are faced with solutions, they tend to spurn them because they rely on emotional triggers to make them fail before they've even started.

Motivation is truly their enemy — because it gives them a vision, a glimpse of what their life could really be like and then they let their emotional right side ("I can't do that, I'll fail) churn with their logical left side ("You don't have time to do that") and they regularly dismiss the vision.

Does this happen to you? Let me begin by saying — there are no silver bullets. There is no free lunch. Nothing in and of itself will solve all of your problems. Nothing will.

I want you to look at you, your life, your career, your relationships — everything you do — as a gas tank which needs to be topped off regularly to run efficiently and to always have a complete reservoir of energy to tap into.

Don’t wait until your gas tank is empty. If you do, you’ll probably sound like the person in the first half of this post.

You need to regularly stop off at your Shell or Mobil station and top off your Vision Gas Tank. Small fill-ups of motivation will not only keep your engine running clean and efficiently — it will ultimately get you where you want to go.

Doesn't your car run better when it has a full tank of gas? When it's all shiny and clean? I know mine does.

Here’s the kicker — if you use premium gas — your engine will have more horsepower and run even more efficiently.

So motivation isn’t a quick fix or a silver bullet, it’s a series of small, incremental fill-ups.

What can you do?

As I frequently say: “All a person needs is a glimpse to get them started.”

If you read an inspirational book, listen to motivational CD’s or even play your favorite music – you will begin to get a glimpse of what life could be like if you stepped out of your comfort zone. New visions will flow into your head and you will be energized to make them happen immediately.

You will incrementally become inspired and resolve to slowly change your behaviors, set new goals and proceed to pursue them.

All you need is a glimpse. Promise me you will top off your Vision Gas Tank every day and you will see powerful changes occur in your life.

What do you do to top-off your Vision Gas Tank?

Are You A Fake?

Talking to my wife at breakfast today, she mentioned bumping into a good friend of ours that moved away a number of years ago.  We always liked him, but never his wife. Not that she was awful to be with — there was just something off with her interactions with us. We felt that we never saw 'the real' person. Her husband was great — open, honest, informative, and pleasant to be with. We just got the impression that she was critiquing us during our get-togethers and most certainly afterwards.

I think it comes down to authenticity. She wasn't authentic. She didn't let us see the real person — she kept a lot of her personality inside and hidden. When we spoke about meeting the husband to another neighbor, they also commented about the behavior of the wife.

First off — it's not a male/female thing — both are equal opportunity offenders. But you need to observe your behavior — here are some telling signs:

• You don't have many close friends. They don't call you to get together.
• You find that you aren't 'in' on many things at work.
• You are the last to hear about something important happening.
• At parties, people tend to shun you - or they at least keep you at a distance.

How to counteract this?

• Open up - let people know how you feel.
• Tell personal stories - this allows people to understand WHO you are.
• Comment openly - take their feelings into account, but be honest.
• Don't gossip. Don't spread rumors.
• Smile - look people in the eye when you speak.
• Ask people about their day, their work, their life.
• Act genuinely interested in their response.
• Ask if you can do anything for them.

On a scale of 1-10, 10 being totally authentic, and 1 being a total fake, where do you sit? What can you change to be a bit more authentic?

Two CRITICAL Articles You Need To Read TODAY.

Fortunately or unfortunately — this is a short post.  If you care about your career, your job, your business . . . run out and buy these two magazines:

WIRED - June 2011 The Wired article focuses in on where the marketplace IS GOING — not where it is or where it was. It's a great resource to understand where the job market is going, who will be getting the jobs, and what they actually are.

FAST COMPANY - June 2011 The Fast Company article focuses in on the 100 most creative people in business. As I always tell my clients, you need to get out and meet people who are making it happen — well, here they all are.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend and see you next week! - Rich

The #1 Way To Communicate With Your Prospects.

Talk to them through a video. But . . . it's a lot harder and more complicated than it looks.

You need to keep it simple, straightforward, and powerful — to allow potential clients to experience YOU. To hear you, to see you, to understand exactly how your products and services will help them.

Today, videos are ubiquitous — everyone is doing them. I feel there are two stages of video production out there:

DIY - Do It Yourself - You and your cam on your laptop, phone, small video or Flip camera. It's quick, easy, and inexpensive to produce. The quality is okay (and I'm stretching that phrase) but with the advent of YouTube, on the spot cameras, and smart phones, people are totally okay with the result.

Gary Vaynerchuk uses this model and he's made millions doing it. So make it happen!

High-End Production - You're in a studio, with a director, photographers, make-up, lights, sound people, background, clapboard slate, multiple cameras, constant lens changing . . . you get my drift.

Of course there's super high-end with a cast of thousands, but I won't go there.

Over the next few weeks, I will be working with my director to edit down the hours of film shot to a 30-60 second video. Now the real work begins. And I know there will be an outtake spot too . . . so stay tuned.

Many thanks to Lauren Clark, Makeup (clarkmakeup@gmail.com), Dave Woolery, Sound (davewoolery@gmail.com) and Rich Freeda, Photography (rich@richardfreeda.com). If you are shooting video, these are the people to call!

And special thanks goes to the director and principal photographer, Phil Nelson (http://www.panelson.com/) - he is the master at what he does, whether it is landscape photography, headshots, or video.

He even makes me look good!

Oh yes, and here's the coolest thing I encountered during the shoot - I have to get one!

How To Play To Your Team's Strengths.

Take a moment and reflect about the each person on your team and the skills and strengths they exhibit. Where do they excel? What do they like doing?

How can you as their manager, provide additional opportunities to excel and do the things they love to do?

I'd like you to take a piece of paper and draw three equally spaced vertical lines (or you can use the attached template - click HERE).

In the first column, write each person's name with their title.

In the second column, list their strengths — what do they do well?

In the third column, brainstorm opportunities how to leverage their strengths.

That's it. If you do this on a regular basis (every 3-6 months), you'll find your team more approachable about taking on more work, higher visibility projects, and having fun at the same time.

Why? Because you are taking advantage of their strengths and interests.

What is your #1 strength or interest? How do you leverage it every day?

How To Reward Your People.

Fact: We don't regularly acknowledge the people who make our 'career machine' run. Everyone who works so hard to make us look good to our clients and management.

So here's a old tool to help you remember. It's called R E W A R D S.

R = Results Only reward results to encourage behavior.

E = Explainable Able to explain to everyone else.

W = When it happens Reward someone as close to when it occurs, it's stronger, more powerful that way.

A = Available Available to everyone on your team. Don't play favorites.

R = Repeatable Other people on your team can do the same thing and the same result will occur.

D = Designed Specifically for the person, personalize it. It makes it special.

S = Share publicly Make an announcement, encourage new behaviors.

Try it this week — you will begin to see it slowly change your team's efforts.

What do you do to reward your staff?

Two Secrets From Leonardo da Vinci That Will Rock Your World.

 "I have been impressed with the urgency of doing.Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do."  — Leonardo da Vinci

That da Vinci character was a pretty smart guy. These words, uttered over five hundred years ago, are still true today.

We go to school for 16+ years and we think we know everything. "We Must Apply." or in other words, "Get busy applying what you know to your life and work."

We dream, wish, hope and pray for things to happen and nothing does. "We Must Do." or in other words, "Stop sitting around waiting for something to happen, you need to take action, NOW."

I see it happen to many of my clients. They talk a really good game about their situation. They know all the players and obstacles holding them back. They understand their inaction is actually hurting them. But they are still stuck in first gear and are afraid of taking the first step to begin the process.

Secret #1

We Must Apply — take what you know and develop a simple plan to take you forward. A lot of people think a plan should be hundreds of pages.

You only need one page. Take out a piece of paper and on one side start writing down all the things you need to do. Don't worry about priority or placement, just get them down on the paper. Use circles, lines, arrows, or boxes to fill in the whole page with many of the steps.

Don't over-think this part — try to get everything down within 20-30 minutes.

When you have exhausted your page with activities, turn the paper over and begin to take all of your ideas and prioritize them into sequential groups. Add timing to each activity or task and ensure any additional resource should be involved.

Now you have a plan.

Secret #2

We Must Do — when the time comes, take the first step, the second, and the third until you complete your plan.

Find out what is holding you back. Is the first step too big? Is it too hard? Do you not know how to start? Are you afraid? Are you lazy? Be honest with yourself and take the necessary steps to move forward slowly.

When we are in a dark room, we tend to move slowly, shuffling our feet forward, sometimes bumping into furniture. But we make it to the other side of the room and then we turn on the light.

Our success relies on applying our knowledge to a problem and taking action. Any less will keep you in the same state you're currently in.

There's no better day to start than RIGHT NOW.

What is your favorite obstacle that frequently holds you back?

What Motivates You? A Simple Checklist.

An individual can't do their job effectively without being aware of what motivates them. A supervisor/manager should be cognizant of the fact that good performance is dependent not only on the abilities of team members, but also on how well team members are motivated to perform their tasks.

Are you aware of what motivates you to perform to the best of your ability? 

The following list includes possible motivators. Which of these are applicable to you?

1. Advancement within the company.
2. Possibility for growth and learning.
3. Responsibility.
4. Job security.
5. Self-Satisfaction by achievement.
6. Recognition of achievement.
7. Money — salary.
8. Good working conditions.
9. Interesting work.
10. Feeling 'in' on things.
11. Sense of belonging — acceptance.
12. Desire to help others.

Once you've circled the important ones, prioritize your choices. Do you see a picture forming?

Hand this list to your team members — have them fill it out. Once you get an idea of what they find important, it's much easier for you to manage their expectations.

What's your #1 motivator at work?

It's Friday The 13th - The Most Popular Posts.

Today I just hit 400 posts on my site. It's especially momentous when it happens on Friday the 13th. (Oh my!) Here are some of my most popular posts over the past three years:

3 Powerful Tips To Energize Your Team

It’s Friday. It’s been a hard week and you’re looking forward to the weekend. Doesn’t your team feel the same way? Here are some quick leadership tips to energize your troops and make them feel like a million bucks.

3 Critical Skills of Effective Leaders

Great leaders translate vision into decisive action — a skill that’s especially vital in tough times. But what are those skills? Do you have a blind spot? Should you be doing more?

Micromanagement Is Bad For You

If you’re a micromanager and want to change, you need to understand why you’re micromanaging and develop skills to allow your team to produce while you focus on leading.

Leadership Blind Spot: Recognizing Your Team

We all forget to do it. You focus on work, meetings, reports, etc. and ignore the most powerful leadership tool you have in our arsenal – recognition and acknowledgment.

10 Simple Tips To Attract The Best Clients

Getting clients is easy, hard, fun, frustrating, energizing and enervating. Most of all, you never know what to expect — one day no one is saying yes and the next, you close five clients. Here are my ten top strategies I use every day to make clients knock on my door.

How To 'Cultivate' New Clients.

Everyone needs new business to survive and thrive. The natural order of most businesses: Clients leave. They defect. They go out of business. They suddenly have no money.  This is normal.

But you need to keep your sales funnel full of possible prospects that slowly turn into converted clients.

You need to be Johnny Appleseed. Johnny (John Chapman) roamed throughout Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois around the turn of the 19th century and introduced apples (and conservation) to everyone he met.

What did Johnny really do? He planted seeds which grew into healthy apple trees. But let's be honest — some seeds never germinated. Some did, but the trees then died off. Other trees never bore fruit.

But that didn't stop Johnny. He kept planting seeds everywhere he went.

You need to do this too.

Most people want clients immediately. That's fine — I like their drive. But it's unrealistic (and sometimes de-motivating) to think clients are going to flock to you.

You need to constantly cultivate clients. What does this mean?

• Get out there and meet people (just like yesterday's video).
• Talk to them, ask them about their business.
• See if you can help them without pushing your products and services.
• Follow up with them regularly. Send them info on topics they are interested in.
• Introduce them to key people that will help them move forward.
• Let them know about what you do.
• Ask them for assistance in connecting you to interested parties.
• Give them something for free — a free trial, a test drive.
• Leave behind your card, a small brochure, an invite to your blog/seminar.

I promise you — they will bite the apple and ultimately become clients. Trust me.

Johnny knew what he was doing — it was a matter of time when the trees started to bear fruit.

The more you seed out there in the 'wilderness', the more opportunities will germinate, grow, and bear fruit.

How long does your 'seed to tree to fruit' sales process take?

How To Energize Your Career.

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How Not To Get Angry On The Job.

"I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing." - Buddy Hackett We all get angry. It's normal.

The real question is WHY we get angry. As I tell my clients, to be happy, we need to have a certain amount of control in our lives. Not totally, but we have to have a handle on many situations to ensure that we don't go quietly insane.

Unfortunately, things do go a little out of kilter. And our natural response is to get frustrated. That's normal — something is knocking us out of our normal routine or belief structure and our body/mind reacts with frustration.

A typical example are KIDS. If you come home and the family room is a mess, you are immediately out of control (a clean room) and you react with frustration. A lot of parents (me included) might move right into anger and yell at the kids to clean up the room.

The same thing happens at work. A client, a vendor, a team member or your boss capriciously changes the project, agreement, or decision and promptly you are out of control, accelerating into frustration-land and anger is right around the corner.

How do you solve this? When you feel control ebbing away and you start to feel frustration, stop for a second and embrace the feeling. Don't zip right into anger — try to leverage the part of your brain that solves problems.

What you've really been thrown is a problem. Work is made up of problems. Your job is to solve these problems. This is just one more problem you need to solve. Take the emotion, your ego, out of the equation. Recognize it for what it really is, a problem that needs a solution.

Because the minute you get angry, you really lose control and it takes you farther away from getting back in control. Take your kids — you can yell at them — your blood pressure rises, they are scared/resentful, there is acrimony in the air, etc.

If you pull back and start directing them to clean up assertively (no anger), you'll find dutiful helpers who actually clean the room - no acrimony, no high-blood pressure.

Focus on getting back into control at work — solve the problem. Here's an added benefit — people notice when you don't get angry or fly off the handle. They pay attention when you are composed in chaos and deliver alternative solutions to solve the problem.

That's the difference between good and great leaders.

What techniques do you use to get back into control?

How To Add Style To Everything You Do.

Yes, I woke up at 4:00 AM this morning to catch the royal wedding. Just finished watching the new couple make it to Buckingham Palace.

What impressed me was their personal style. All of the commentators profusely exclaimed about how the couple presented themselves today.

Kate especially. Think of the pressure she must be under to act and perform according to many rules and royal mandates. So far, she's done an incredible job. She was cool, calm and confident.

Even with all the pressure, it sounds like the couple tried to add their own personal touches to the occasion.

I find 'style' is a combination of what/who you are AND how you want your audience to perceive you. You have to take both elements into perspective. I think it focuses on two areas:

1. Be yourself. Espouse your individuality. Be authentic. Don't be afraid to let your hair down.
2. Focus how your message/individuality plays with your audience. Monitor, measure, tweak, and change as you see fit.

If you stay true to yourself, you will ultimately reach your specific audience. It is then up to you to move the dial to GROW your audience.

I've found if you do both, you will be very successful in any endeavor you attempt.

What do you do to be yourself AND attract larger audiences?

Congratulations to William & Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge!

How To Energize Everyone You Meet.

I was speaking with one of my incredible clients last week and we began to touch upon how one delivers a powerful and memorable business encounter. What do I mean?

You know when you meet someone and they instantly energize you? Every interaction is not only a positive experience, but also a life-changing one? Where you walk away and say quietly to yourself, "Who is that guy/gal?" You find yourself shaking hands and realizing that you're getting more than you gave?

We've all met people like this. And many people have related that I make them feel that way. So I sat down over the weekend and tried to dissect exactly what I do when I meet people (for the first time and even subsequent meetings).

The best part is they become instant acolytes and customers of YOU. That's a good thing.

It can be broken into four distinct areas:

1. Energy

Summon up the forces within you and exude copious amount of energy when you meet someone. Enthusiasm, vibe, electricity . . . whatever you want to call it . . . you need to grow it within you and then focus it on the person.

A smile, a hearty handshake, a quickness to your step — much of it initially is body language. Focus intently on the person and look them in the eye while you smile.

Talk a bit faster when you first meet and really pound your language with active tones, "REALLY glad to meet you Tom . . . I can't think of a more BEAUTIFUL day outside!"

2. Authenticity

This one is key — many people feel it's what you know or who you know that makes you stand out and successful in today's marketplace. Although they are important, I feel to truly succeed, you need to exude authenticity.

Simply — speak and act truly about your own feelings, thoughts, and desires. Don't hide behind a facade or mask — people can smell it a mile away.

Be yourself — show others who you really are and what you can do. You'll find you will be instantly accepted for being authentic — a rarity in today's business world.

3. Connectivity

Take a concerted interest in the other person — ask questions, listen to their answers, and then interject with follow up questions/builds.

An example: "So where did you go to school? Ripon College? In Wisconsin? I went to Ripon College too! What year did you graduate? Did you know Joe Bestul? Who were your favorite professors? Isn't this AMAZING?"

Try to CONNECT with them — ask loads of questions and find areas of shared interests which will bind you together. Once you make the connection — trust follows.

4. Destiny

Don't leave any interaction, meeting, lunch . . . anything . . . without next steps. If it's a brief encounter — set up a lunch or coffee. If it's a meeting — what will you do for them?

Ensure any interaction has consequence — and hopefully where you provide something for THEM. In doing so, your relationship will broaden, expand, and get stronger.

Try to offer up an emailed article, an introduction, a strong referral — something to make sure you walk away giving more than you received. That's important.

What other areas might I've missed that you find critical to a powerful interaction?