Top Five Regrets of the Unemployed.

This post is not only for the unemployed — it's for those great people who still have jobs and businesses. I run into the same five regrets every day with out-of-work people I meet and the workshops I host. If you find yourself speaking these words, take my advice:

1. I should have seen this coming.

You can't have eyes in the back of your head all the time. I always suggest to my clients to have better peripherals around the office — keep your eyes open to the bigger forces whipping around the organization. Subtle layoffs? Projects cut? Boss leaving for a better job elsewhere? 

Don't focus on the past — sometimes things come out of nowhere and hit you square in the face. Deal with it and move on.

2. I should have worked harder.

Yes, you should have. But most of the time, your layoff wasn't due to your light workload. It may have many reasons — too old, too young, big salary, small salary, major project cut, minor project shelved — it can be ANYTHING.

The secret HR/Financial math is never revealed to you — stop focusing on the past and ensure any position you get will be met with unbridled enthusiasm and energy.

3. I shouldn't have ticked off that person.

Business is full of positive and negative communication. Sometimes you acknowledge and compliment people — sometimes you piss people off. It comes with the territory. Stop worrying about what you said to what wrong person. Odds are, they probably deserved it.

And in the light of day, it probably didn't make a bit of difference about your layoff.

4. I should have gotten my resume together.

Yes, you should have. This is my one pet peeve of every executive — they always wait until they're on the street to begin updating their resume. It's too late.

Today — get your resume, update it and send it to a qualified resume writer (contact me if you need a good one). Then get it on the street — not to a lot of people, just key people who might have a bigger, better, and more fun opportunity for you.

5. I should have networked with more people outside of work.

Yes, you should have. Don't cocoon at work — get out on a regular basis (at least once a week) to meet with fellow colleagues, peers in the industry, or friends to expand your knowledge of the marketplace.

Don't sit at your desk every day — that leads to a quick professional death every time.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Did this article hit a nerve? If so, let's talk. I've worked with many clients who have the same questions — and we developed a successful plan to tackle their insecurities. I schedule infrequent complimentary sessions - catch one today.

Are You Working Too Much? Here’s How Click It Down!

CLIENT CALL:"Rich — just started working here a few weeks ago. I'm starting to get emails from my boss and peers with timestamps of 2:00 and 3:00 AM. Getting nervous here — I am NOT going to work 60-70 hour weeks — what should I do?"

SOLUTION:

First off — don't worry. There are certain situations where people work crazy hours:

• Startups - everything is on the line to deliver and the benefit is all yours if you SUCCEED.
• Emergencies - something is broken and you need to fix it IMMEDIATELY.
• End Of Projects - everything is coming down to the wire and you must DELIVER.
• Reduced Staff - you've lost a valuable resource and someone has to do the work or the engine STOPS.
• S*** Happens - too much work, too many interruptions, too many meetings, you just have to get past this and get back on track.

THE FUNNY THING:

All of these situations are temporary (for the most part). Unfortunately, a lot of people get locked into a 'busy-busy-busy' mindset and they turn 'temporary' into a permanent situation.

AND THAT'S WHEN THE TROUBLE BEGINS.

It begins to affect:

• Your health.
• Your family.
• The quality of your work.
• YOUR SANITY.

HERE'S WHAT YOU DO:

1. Just Starting A Job or Project — You need to work some heavy hours to not only learn the lay of the land, but to set expectations for your boss, peers, and team. Say at least 50-60 hours a week for about 90 days. Then you can cull back your hours to a reasonable 40-50.

2. New Boss Or Client — Kick up your hours and visibility and watch what your boss does. Are they an early-bird? Do they stay late? You need to establish the perception of a 'hard-worker' to them and then once built in, you can then cull back your hours slowly.

The whole idea is to work smarter, not harder/longer. But you do have to deliver a perception of working hard so most people don't feel you are short-changing them. It's a weird generational thing — but you have to do it.

Hold the line — if you get questions about your schedule ask them:

"Has the quality of my work suffered?" "Were you not able to reach me in an emergency?" "Am I not always available when needed?"

Their response will always reconfirm your decision to work normal hours. Trust me. If you are in a situation or location where crazy hours are the norm, you might want to reassess what is REALLY important to you — the money or your life.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Did this article hit a nerve? If so, let's talk. I've worked with many clients who have the same questions — and we developed a successful plan to tackle their insecurities. I schedule infrequent complimentary sessions - catch one today.

3 Ideas To Bring A Bit More Sanity To Your Life.

I was sitting in church this Sunday and we had a simple prayer. One part really stood out for me: "We imagine a world where peace and justice are the ordinary realities of life. We dream of a planet where giving and sharing are second nature to all people. We envision an earth where joy and celebration fill the news and our lives."

Just take a second today — what if you opened your newspaper or clicked on a news link and saw this:

• "No Fighting Recorded Anywhere On The Globe — A World Record"
• "Soup Kitchens Overflowing With Food; All Charities Exceed Their Goals"
• "Elected Officials, Tea Party, Occupy Wall Street, and Police All Sit Down To Solve Problems"

Okay, maybe I had a little too much 'spiced' eggnog over the weekend. But what would it be like if you read something like this?

Is it crazy? Can it never happen? We are the same civilization who sent a man to the moon, eradicated smallpox and polio, and went from TNT to nuclear bombs in 6 short years.*

Let's dial it down a little bit — what can you do in YOUR world, with all the PEOPLE you touch, in a SHORT amount of time?

• How can you add just a little more peace and justice?
• Where can you give and share just a little bit more?
• What can you do to build a little bit more joy and celebration to your world?

During this season, let's see if we could do some of these things — what would happen if everyone added their little bit to the mix? Everyone took time out to add peace, giving, and joy to the world?

What would our world be like?

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

*P.S. I'm not wild about bombs — it's the speed, focus, and delivery of an IDEA. The Manhattan Project began modestly in 1939, but grew to employ more than 130,000 people and cost nearly US$2 billion (roughly equivalent to $24.4 billion as of 2011).

What would happen if we took $50 billion back in 2001 and eliminated petroleum from all transportation? What would our world be like today?

P.P.S. I hope I'm not proselytizing too much here — let's focus more on the philosophy — not where it came from.

4 Ways To Be More Positive In Your Life.

Here's a little bet — Pick any successful person you know. Think about their personality and demeanor. You'll probably find they are frequently positive in their outlook on life and work.

You might come to the conclusion: Because they are successful, they are naturally positive.

Actually, it's the exact opposite. Thinking and communicating positively actually delivers success.

Successful people regularly create positive and optimistic scenarios in their lives. It allows them to take those small, successful moments and turn them into opportunities to reach their goals.

How can you do it? It's easy:

1. Use big positive and cheerful words to express yourself. When someone asks you about your business, say it's 'UNBELIEVABLE!'
2. Use bright and cheerful words to describe other people. Say "I know John — he's a great guy who always delivers."
3. Use positive language to encourage others. "I know you can do it because you've hit it out of the park every other time!"
4. Use positive words and images about the things you do. "We had such an incredible time delivering that product. Even though it was close to the deadline, the entire team pulled together to make it happen!"

If you 'litter' your life with positive comments and thoughts, it opens up a world of opportunity to focus clearly on how you think about things. And it affect how you do them.

Do you disagree? Then do this for the next week:

• Use small and condescending words to express yourself.
• Use unflattering and hateful words to describe other people.
• Use hostile language to discourage others.
• Use negative words and images about the things you do.

Okay — I went a bit overboard. Just do this then:

• Try not to use any flattering words to express yourself. Be humble.
• Describe other people with uninspiring comments.
• Encourage others by asking them to do things because they have to.
• Never comment or mention the things you do.

See how far you get. 

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Having a hard time thinking positively about your life and work? Let's talk. I've worked with many clients who have the same problem — and we developed a successful strategy to turn that around. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me (203.500.2421) — I offer one (and only one) complimentary session each week.

The One Secret To Look More Confident.

There are hundreds of books out there. Thousands of speakers. And they all talk about confidence. But it's really easy. Here's the secret (don't tell anyone):

Walk 25% Faster and Smile.

That's it. Now you might be saying, "Rich — that stupid. I need to work on my confidence daily."

Here's the skinny:

If you walk 25% faster (just pick it up a little bit):

• You exude confidence.
• You look like a successful person.
• You embody: "I've got someplace important to go and do."
• If you don't believe me, watch this (start at 2:00 minutes in)

If you Smile:

• It gives you confidence.
• It deflects fear.
• Boosts your spirits.
• Check this out (TED speakers are some of my favorites).

Appearance says a lot about who you are and what you do. It allows you to look like the kind of person you want to be.

Look sharp — think sharp.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Do you sometimes lose confidence at work or with clients? Let's talk. I've worked with many clients who have the same problem — and we developed a successful strategy to make things happen. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me (203.500.2421) — I offer one (and only one) complimentary session each week.

Do You Believe In Your Product?

Why arent you selling more? Why arent you happy at your job?

Why arent you fulfilled? Challenged? Focused?

Why arent you moving up? Making more money?

You probably don't fully believe in your product. You say you do — but deep down — you really don't. Either you don't believe it works, or is too expensive, or you've seen a lot of dissatisfied customers.

This happens often — you might start out strong — but after awhile, you begin to doubt the efficacy of your product or service. Well, you have two choices:

1. Start believing in your product again.
2. Get another job.

It's that easy. You can't go on faking your interest in your product. It will start to show — first your peers will see it, then your boss, then, ultimately, your customers.

Unless you want to find a new job or vocation, begin the process to produce a new interest in your product — one where you fervently believe in it.

This happens all the time to coaches. Since coaching is somewhat subjective, there are times when I question its' efficacy. Usually after one or two unmotivated clients.

I then need to step back and clearly question — is it coaching? Is it me? Or is it the unmotivated client? I need to clear out all of my doubt — I then can get back to business.

Do you have a crisis of confidence sometimes?

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Do you sometimes lose confidence in your profession? Let's talk. I've worked with many clients who have the same problem — and we developed a successful strategy to make things happen. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me (203.500.2421) — I offer one (and only one) complimentary session each week.

Be Obnoxious & Visceral To Get Noticed.

That's right . . . obnoxious & visceral. What do I mean? I don't want you to be disgustingly objectionable or dealing with crude or elemental emotions.

I want you to stand out and be noticed. And frankly, politeness is not invited to the party. Politeness will only get you so far — but if you want to stand out, you must wedge your foot in the door and throw your shoulder to barge in.

Most executives and business owners don't want to do that. We've been taught to play fair, act with integrity, and treat everyone nicely. And that works to a certain extent — until you hit a wall and can't get through.

Maybe it's a problematic client. Or a close-minded boss. Or a peer who just won't listen. Or a vendor who keeps doing the same thing even though you remind them to do it differently.

Sometimes to cut to the chase and make a strong impression, you need to be obnoxious and visceral. What do I really mean?

Communication issues? You need to cut to the chase and explain exactly what is bothering you. Don't dance around the bush — tell them exactly what the issue is and then ask how they will solve it. Don't worry about their 'feelings', if they've been treating you badly, or bad-mouthing you — get real with them. Don't argue — get right to the point and in their face.

Hard to get an audience with a client or higher up? To get things done, you might have to be a bit more aggressive, more pushy, more 'in your face' than usual. First, get your act together and plan exactly what you're going to say — then get in there and say it. Forget about being polite — you need to be heard  — pick the right time and location and just DO IT.

The funny thing is — most people will not take it as an insult. In fact, they will probably see a little bit of them in you and really appreciate it.

On the other hand, if it doesn't go well — usually all is not lost. People will understand you are serious and hopefully make time for you at a later date. Almost no one will completely disown you for being brash.

Where do you need to be obnoxious and visceral today?

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Hard getting your message across? Let's talk. I've worked with many clients who have the same problem — and we developed a successful strategy to make things happen. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me (203.500.2421) — I offer one (and only one) complimentary session each week.

How To Deal With Frustration.

We all get frustrated. It's a natural feeling that appears when we lose control of something in our lives. It could be a project at work, a critical client, a windfall that suddenly disappears . . . anything. I've been frustrated all week. Due to a freak snowstorm in October, a large part of Connecticut is out of power. Trees fell from the weight of the snow on their leaves and downed power lines all over the state.

I live in Oxford, which is 99% down. No power. And it gets cold at night. And from what I'm hearing from the local utility, it's going to be like that for a week. So I'm frustrated. VERY frustrated.

It affects me . . . my family . . . my business. Even though I have a great wood stove and a generator, it's still hard to live normally at my home. No internet, no entertainment, keeping things cold, trying to cook, you get the idea. It sucks.

But frustration is a two-way street.

Go deeper into frustration and you get ANGRY. And that's not good. And it doesn't solve anything.

Understand and deal with the frustration and you are IN CONTROL. This is where you begin to solve your problems.

You might need to plan more efficiently. You might have to give up some creature comforts. You might have to set up alternative strategies. But let the frustration move you into CONTROL, not ANGER.

Take those steps that you need to take to get back into control. Buy that generator. Stock that wood stove. Keep your gasoline stockpile full. Do anything you need to do to make sure you move that needle into the control section of your life.

How can you apply this to your situation on the job? What can you do RIGHT NOW to get back into control?

My Favorite Motivational Quote.

"The best revenge is massive success."- Frank Sinatra

How To Close Your Year With A Bang (and have fun too).

Here's how to make the last two months of 2011 accelerate to the finish line. But the last two months of the year are littered with holidays, the beginning of bad weather and procrastination. You can still pull out some key working strategies to make both months powerful winners for 2011.

You need to break your time down and devise a plan for each week, each day. Copy and Paste into Word/Pages and then Print this out to list what you can get done each day. So here goes:

NOVEMBER:

Week1: 1st-4th: You're down one day this week: Halloween. Planning week for the next two weeks. Strategize what needs to happen, who you need to see and what results you expect for Weeks 2 & 3.

Week2: 7th-11th - Friday: Full week - Take Action - Hustle. Hit the ground running - make things happen.

Week3: 14th-18th: Full week - Take Action - Hustle. This is the key week - keep the momentum going.

Week4: 21st-25th: Thanksgiving week. Most people are powering down - reach out to key clients and managers to thank them for making your 2011 a powerful one. Use cards (handwritten) or phone calls.

Week5: 28th-30th: Three days. Come back from your Thanksgiving time with a bang. Review what you accomplished in November and begin planning for December.

DECEMBER:

Week1: 1st-2nd: Two days. Still planning - ensure you have a solid action plan for the next two weeks.

Week2: 5th-9th: Full week - Take Action - Hustle.

Week3: 12th-16th: Full week - Take Action - Hustle. People usually start powering down - get a feel for what is happening and keep the momentum going.

Week4: 19th-23rd: This week is shot: Christmas. Take it easy - enjoy this time with your colleagues, team and family. Build deeper and stronger relationships. Take your best client out for an expensive lunch.

Week5: 26th-30th: This is your key planning week: No one is there. Work. Time to look at 2012. Make broad stroke planning goals and activities. If your boss is in, have a meeting and discuss what has to happen next. If you own your business, this is the week to lay the groundwork for a powerful 'start out of the gate' for 2012.

I've run every NOV/DEC like this for the past 10 years and guess what? I surpass my numbers every time. Plan - Hustle - Enjoy — it's the only way to sanely get through the holidays.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. How do you like this schedule? Is it practical? Let's talk. I've worked with a number of clients — and we developed a successful plan to grow tackle the last two months. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me — I offer only one complimentary session each week.

One Guaranteed Secret To Reach Your Goal.

Are you ready? Here it is: If you are absolutely, relentlessly focused — no, obsessed — on one singular goal, you will achieve it.

That's it.

I would love to insert a special quote from Anthony Robbins, Eleanor Roosevelt, or Chuck Norris to reinforce my point — but the simple fact remains NO amount of quote-compiling, mantra-repeating, excuse-making, or navel-gazing will get you there.

I'm not going to waste your time trying to convince you otherwise if dozens of graphics, quotes and stories have failed to do the job.

You either do it, or you don't.

No magic, just dedication.

"That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it . . . and it's worked out pretty well so far." - Tony Stark

Motivation For The Weekend.

You probably haven't heard of Omar Hamoui but his story is definitely inspiring. In 2009 sold his company, AdMob, to Google for $750 Million.

Here is some of his advice:

Don’t be afraid.

Don’t be afraid to fail, don’t be afraid to get fired. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake or change your mind. If you find that you are doing or not doing something simply due to a fear of what might happen, chances are you need to rethink the problem. Fear is an awful guide and people tend to be awful judges of the true “downside”.

One of the most amusing things in the world is watching MBA students at the best business schools in the world fret over their career opportunities as if they will be living out of a cardboard box if they don’t get the right internship.

The best advice I have is that whatever you do, it should be done as you are reaching for a new opportunity, rather than shrinking from a phantom anxiety.

Optimize for the journey, not the destination.

It’s hard to understand this without going through it, but it’s extremely important not to optimize for or aggrandize an exit, or any particular goal represented by a single point in time. The thing is, whatever that goal is, it will be a temporary and fleeting moment, and it simply starts another journey.

How One Powerful Poem Can Change Your Life.

I love Rudyard Kipling's "If". It's a magnificent poem — it doesn't get too maudlin, but it does have its highs (it's been voted Britain's favorite poem). Check out the bolded areas and see if they have meaning for you and what you do.

Trust me — it's powerful (the line with triumph and disaster is emblazoned at Centre Court at Wimbledon).

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, ' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Which quote resonated clearly with your career? Which one made you think twice? Let's talk. I've worked with a number of clients — and we developed a successful strategy to grow your career exponentially. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me — I offer only one complimentary session each week.

Power Up Or Power Down Your Thinking.

There is a subtle mindset in the marketplace today. The only way to explain it to you is to describe each 'direction' of thinking. So here goes: POWER DOWN

• Save money.
• Spend less.
• Make things last longer.
• Don't take chances. Be safe.
• Stay with old behaviors and practices.
• Worry and plan for bad things to happen.

POWER UP

• Invest to grow.
• Spend more.
• Use items until they aren't useful and purchase new ones.
• Take chances. Be a maverick.
• Innovate new ways of doing things.
• Be scared and plan for the future.

Neither is bad, neither is good. They just ARE. And I agree there are times when every one of us has had to either power up or down.

But there are situations when you have to pick the right one:

1. When you hate your job or your clients suck.
2. When you need to grow your business or get that promotion.
3. When things are just not working right.

YOU NEED TO POWER UP.

Powering down just won't get you there. 

Why? Because what you have been doing will not deliver NEW opportunities. You need to change the dynamic and venture outside of your comfort sphere.

Take chances. Meet new people. Spend more time, money, and effort to grow your career and business.

Many big businesses are powering down. They are stocking money away, firing people, not investing in their infrastructure, stay with the same behaviors, and worry about the future. And they wonder why they can't effectively compete.

Here's where everyone fails — when they try to Power Up and Down at the same time. Guess what? It's a recipe for failure.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people trying to do it everyday. Let me give you an example:

Typical family . . . powers down . . . they don't take chances and stay with old behaviors and practices . . . and they worry and plan for bad things to happen.

But . . . they spend the same amount of money (or more) . . . they take chances.

Guess what? They power down their income-making capabilities but they power up their spending. What do you think is going to ultimately happen? Bankruptcy.

And it's happening all around us. 

So what is your plan? Powering UP? Or powering DOWN? It's your choice.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Are you in this situation? Do you find yourself powering down when you really need to power up your life? Let's talk. I've worked with a number of clients on this specific topic — and we developed a successful strategy to reverse course and turn things around. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me — I have one complimentary session left this month. It will probably disappear by next week.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

It's sad when you see a true visionary leave this mortal coil before it was their time.

Someone who has done so much in so short a time. Someone who had their ups and downs — a person who built inventions for the masses and took his company from a small garage to the most valuable organization in the world. Steve Jobs touched me in many ways.

Not only with his inventions (1 iMac, 3 MacBooks, 6 iPods, 4 iPhones, and 1 iPad), but even with his presentation style and salesmanship. No one else comes close.

I want to impart his words of wisdom to you in some small way — so here's his commencement address to Stanford in 2005:

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Thank you all very much.

The 5 Stages Of Getting Fired.

A bevy of managers and business owners frequently ask me how to fire someone. I walk them carefully through the ethical and legal minefield (have your HR rep there and don't say too much), while helping them with the emotional side of it (it's never easy). WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE?

How did the person being fired get there?

Here are five reasons why you're on the receiving end of the last meeting you'll ever have with your company or your client (for business owners):

Stage 1: You didn't communicate/listen very well.

You find your boss/client messages are mixed — they are getting frustrated with you more often. You think things are going swimmingly, but every interaction is misconstrued, they aren't happy and you don't know why.

Bottom line — don't wait for them — you need to change your communication patterns to your boss/client. Many people try to blame the other party and wait patiently for them to change. Sorry pal — the onus is all on you.

Stage 2: You didn't keep your eyes open.

Things that have never changed begin to change all around you. Timing, deliverables, behavior, people and things pop in at the most inauspicious moment. You are frequently thrown off your game by changes from your boss/client — and you blame them.

Stop, step back, and survey the situation. What's really happening here? Sometimes it's just a subtle change, a small alteration from your boss/client. But it could have deeper ramifications. Keep your eyes open and more importantly, your mind open. Most people shut down or disregard these subtle changes (to their detriment).

Stage 3: You lost your motivation and enthusiasm.

Working with your boss/client becomes a chore — the machine isn't running as smooth as it used to. You start to blame them and begin to pull back — you don't deliver on time, you miss deadlines, the quality of your work isn't up to par.

This is the 'tipping point' stage. Only you can increase/decrease your motivation and enthusiasm. If you begin to pull back, your boss/client is going to notice and start to wonder if you really want your job/business. Start re-energizing your attention to the job at hand or things will precipitously slide in a downward direction.

Stage 4: You let logistical issues get in the way.

You begin missing appointments/meetings. You are late. You forgot key deliverables. You miss opportunities. You say the wrong things. Your car doesn't start. But it's not your fault.

These are all indicators to your boss/client that you are beginning not to really pay attention and care about the business. As much as you protest, they are clear indicators you are actively pulling back into a position that is a lose-lose for you.

Stage 5: You stopped caring.

I call this the 'shoot me now' stage. At this point all is probably lost — you're just waiting for the knife in the back. You don't really care about your work/service, your comments are usually negative (or tinged with sarcasm), and going to work is about as much fun as a root canal.

You need to make a decision — do the right thing and quit or drop to your knees, beg forgiveness — and repent. This is your last hail mary pass — it might work or not. Don't be surprised if your boss/client doesn't buy it — you've let it get too far.

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do to change your situation?

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Do you see one of your people in this situation? Are you in this situation? Let's talk. I've worked with a number of my clients on this specific topic — and we developed a successful strategy to turn things around. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me — I have one complimentary session left this month. It will probably disappear by next week.

Dirty Little Secret: Dealing With Slow Thinkers.

Last week, I wrote on a situation many of my clients and colleagues encounter daily in their business — Quick Thinkers. An avid follower of my blog, Tim Trent, commented: "I’d love to see you handle the flip side of this one, Rich. It can be worse than impossible to be a quicker thinker than your boss, for example, especially when the solution is so freaking obvious and they just can not see it however carefully you explain it to them!"

STOP DEALING WITH THEM — LET'S TACKLE SLOW THINKERS!

You probably find them in the office and out in the marketplace when working with them — I feel it is due to a number of factors:

They are truly gifted.

Work and business is a chess game to them. They want to carefully explore every permutation to ensure every rock is upturned and analyzed. They're the ones who actually hit upon a strategy no one has thought of and they frequently amaze their peers, superiors, clients and vendors.

Unfortunately, these types drive quick thinkers up the wall - it's the nature of the beast.

Solution: Be patient - they might surprise you with their idea.

They aren't in the know.

They might have been good at their job, but they no longer keep abreast of the market and industry. Or they are politically naive about what's going on and tend not to understand the complexities of everyone's personality.

You probably bring more information to the table, but because they aren't in the know, they tend to slow WAY DOWN because they don't trust or understand your line of thinking.

Solution: Educate them slowly. Keep them in the know. Then they will value you.

They are fearful and afraid of everything.

Candidly, I hate these people. They look at every decision, every choice, and every thing they touch as a major life decision. They take forever to make simple decisions and become petulant if you try at all to speed up the process. They shut down conversations at a moment's notice, run to their office, and hide under their desk until the decision has passed.

Since they are governed by fear, their decisions are sometimes based on incorrect data and they sometimes side with the more forceful personalities in their circle (even though you may be right).

Solution: Get a big gun and take them out (just kidding). Try to reason with them. If that doesn't work, place them in the discard pile and work around them.

They are faking it.

This happens more to business owners with clients than in corporate life. People who usually slow down the process due to their introspection are doing it to benefit just one person — themselves. They either are holding back to make you do something different (lower your price, add value, etc.) or wound you politically (hold you from moving forward, hold back info, etc.).

Solution: Be careful — they are dangerous when attacked. Try to figure out why they are acting the way they are and devise alternate strategies to get them to speed up their thinking, go around, or disregard them.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Are slow thinkers getting your business down? Let's talk. I've had a few clients bring this exact situation up on our calls — and we developed a strategy by the end of our session. If you’re not a client . . . let's talk — I offer two complimentary sessions a month. And they fill up fast!

Dirty Little Secret: Dealing With Quick Thinkers

Do you ever run into someone where they seem to be thinking and acting 100 miles per hour faster than you? I received two emails the other day:

Executive Client: "Rich — I don't know what to do — I feel like I'm an idiot! Every time I try to speak with some of my peers and my boss, it seems like I'm in slow motion, I know I have 20 years experience in the industry, but for some reason, they anticipate, decide, and outmaneuver me whenever I speak to them. Meetings are hell!"

Business Client: "OMG — my clients have me running rings around them for some reason! Every time I deliver something to them, they are 10 steps ahead of me requesting something else and adding 'Why didn't I do this . . . or that?'. I don't know if it's me or them. HELP!!"

Here's a dirty little secret: It's happened to me. It happens to EVERYONE. Quick thinkers are everywhere.

Here's why:

#1. They are truly gifted.

There are people out there who are really smart. They have the ability to assess the situation, determine their choices, and choose the best direction.

They are a wonder to work with and for — because they usually cut through the BS and take action. My estimate: 10% of the population.

#2. They are in the know.

Bottom line — they know more than you. They have more information, they know how people work, they know who can do what, and they've probably done this before while it's totally new to you. Or they are privy to information not disclosed to you.

You think they are better than you — but they're just a few steps ahead (and running quite fast to stay there). My estimate: 50% of the population.

#3. They are fearless.

They are supremely confident in their decision making and don't have that small trigger most people possess to stop and think about a situation.

This comes in handy during an emergency (like a car crash) where quick, fearless thinking saves the day. It is a ticking time bomb when it comes to strategic business decisions. My estimate: 20% of the population.

#4. They are faking it.

These are the hidden land mines in business.These people have low self-esteem and probably a personality disorder. They make assumptions and decisions so quickly it makes your head spin.

In addition, if you question them, their logic to back up their decision is unassailable in their eyes, while you go batty trying to understand their logic. Black is white — up is down. It's maddening.

Next time you are stymied by a quick thinker, try to diagnose who they really are.

Genius — Stick with them and do what they do. Knowledgable — Catch up to them, learn more. Fearless — Think strategically and double back. Fake — Stick to your guns if logic is on your side.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Having a hard time with a quick thinker? Let's talk.  Business and executive clients bring this subject up frequently. If you’re not a client . . . grab your spot now before the final spot for October is taken. Only one left — time is getting short!

How To Become Unfireable – Part Seven: Be A Billboard.

In addition to coaching a full practice of clients, my Mentor Coach Bootcamps started this week (say goodbye to Monday nights). So the 'production' end of my business is ‘full-steam ahead’. I also jumped out of bed every morning over the past two weeks (4:30 AM) to attend various networking/sales meetings to spread the word of the Rich Gee.

And I gave a major presentation to 150+ executives about how to market themselves. It was a big hit for me – most attendees gave me a 4 to 5 rating (on a scale of 1-5).

So the ‘development’ end of my business was in full gear too. What did it deliver? I received an avalanche of interest in my coaching and my phone has been off the hook. In addition, my site numbers are through the roof and I have a pack of new business cards that can choke a horse (all to enter today into my contact list for eBlasts).

Why am I telling you all this? Not to brag — but to illustrate how to grow from knowing a lot of people into a person a lot of people KNOW ABOUT.

You are the product – get others to meet you, talk with you, experience you. “Take you out for a test drive” as I call it.

People need to see you, experience you, to see what you’re working on. They need to hear three things:

#1 What you’ve done.

This is your reputation - you need to advertise it. Don’t think people just know about it. That’s the mistake most executives make — they think their work speaks for them forever.

Don’t kid yourself. After the project is over, the major rollout complete, the client captured . . . people forget. Quickly.

You need to remind them frequently of your past successes. Not blatantly, but in general conversation. Mention how you worked with Tom when you rolled out that spectacular initiative or when Susan helped you lock in one of your biggest clients. Misdirect with someone else and then bring it back to you.

#2 What you’re doing.

People need to know the level of caliber they’re working with and you need to let them know the high-level and high-impact stuff you’re managing.

The secret ingredient: if you have to let people know what you’re working on, you’ll tend to focus on higher exposure projects. It’s like a class reunion, 3-6 months beforehand, you lose weight, get that liposuction done you’ve been putting off, and hit those wrinkles with botox.

I want you to do the same thing with your career. If you aren’t working on the high-priority projects — make sure you are.

#3 What you’re gonna do.

This is how you predict great opportunities for your career. When you’re out there, you’re finding out about what’s in store for the company, the industry, and everyone around you.

The most connected executives are actively letting key people know their ideas, strategies, and plans. They brainstorm at lunch, ask for ideas after work, and delve deeper with the management team over drinks.

The more you are a billboard and let the right people see what you’ve done, what you are doing today, and what you plan to do . . . the more high-level projects, positions, and promotions come your way.

Now go out there and let them see your billboard up in lights!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Need to figure out how to be a billboard? Let's talk. This is one of the main areas I tackle first with all of my clients. If you’re not a client . . . grab your spot now before all the final spot for October is taken. Only one left — time is getting short.

How To Become Unfireable – Part Six: It's Who You Know.

Here’s the cold, hard truth:  

You not only have to have a lot of friends, you need get out there and meet new people, Period. End of story.

If you don’t want to do that — you will be expendable.

But most people don’t like to ‘network’. Well then . . . don’t. Connect.

In my opinion, the clear difference between Networking and Connecting is:

Networking: What can you do for me?
Connecting: What can I do for you?

It's my definition, my differentiation, and here's why I don't like networking:

• It's all me, me, me.
• It's the clammy science of collecting business cards ad infinitum, of cold-calling strangers to grill them about possible openings or beg them for a favor.
• When most people don't like networking, it's because of the slimy nature of glad-handing strangers and constantly asking for something.
• It's impersonal, it takes the average executive or entrepreneur way out of their comfort zone.
• I know when I meet someone and they network with me — I immediately see through their facade and want to get out of there ASAP.
• To the best of my knowledge, no one likes to be 'networked' to.
• Networking is awkward, it's artificial, and more often than not, it doesn't work that well.

Connecting is different.

• It's noticing people, schmoozing with them, keeping in touch with them — and benefiting from them. You connect with people in a mutually productive and pleasurable way.
• You concentrate on the other person. Try to ask questions, minimize your blabbering, and listen to their answers.
• You build a solid relationship and try to connect with them on many levels.
• Instead of selling, you're seeding. You plant the seed of your capabilities, service, or product but you don't overtly go for the kill.
• You build the relationship to do something for them. To help them professionally or personally. It might be an article they are interested in, a piece of information, or even an introduction to someone you know.
• In the end, the relationship supersedes the sale. Every time.

So how do you connect? Here are the steps:

1. Be inquisitive. Ask a lot of questions and follow up questions. See below for the process.
2. If they ask about you, answer their questions, but don't go on. You need to focus on them.
3. Try to find a way to connect with them — find a common place to share — maybe a location, a school, a business, a friend, something.
4. Ask follow up questions, "You live in Stamford? What part? High Ridge Road? I grew up near Rippowam High School!".
5. Once you make the 'connection', you begin to build a rapport of trust between you and the person your connecting with.
6. Each subsequent question, follow-up question, and connection will build a stronger friendship bond between you.
7. When concluding the conversation or meeting, try to ensure you have some sort of deliverable or to-do for the person. It might be an article, a web site, an acquaintance you might know — to give to them at a later date. Do something for them – Givers Gain.
8. Ensure you do what you say you're going to do.

What is the process to connect? Read this story:

"You are in front of a big, white home. You look down and see the mailbox, you look up and see your whole family waving to you, leaning out the top windows of the house. You look over and see a beautifully, ornate chimney with a huge, yellow, leather work glove sitting upon it with all five finger pointing in the air. The glove is holding an old, wooden tennis racket and a bi-plane (like the one Snoopy flies) breaks through the strings of the racket, flys around your high school, comes to a soft landing on your football field and touches the goal post."

This story is a mnemonic. It teaches you how to connect with someone by encapsulating key questions within an inane, weird story you'll remember. Let me break it down:

• Mailbox - Hi, my name is Rich Gee. What's your name? Where do you live? What part of Wilton?
• Family waving to you - Are you married? Do you have kids? (if they say no, don't feel uncomfortable, just say, "Boy are you lucky!"
• Huge leather work glove - What do you do? Where do you work? What is it like to work there?
• Wooden tennis racket - What do you do for fun? What are your interests?
• Bi-plane - Do you travel for business? Did you go on vacation this summer?
• High school - Where did you go to school?
• Football field - What sports are you into?
• Goal post - What goals are you shooting for this year?

All I ask is that you try it. I used to do it all the time waiting for my daily train to work. Standing next to someone, I would say something witty ("Seems like the train gets later every day as it gets colder."), get them to smile, and then introduce myself. The hint with each question is to be enthusiastic and use many follow up questions. Be inquisitive and have fun!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. If you're having problems connecting with people, let's talk. This is one of the main areas I tackle first with all of my business clients. If you’re not a client . . . grab your spot now before all the spots for October are taken. Time is getting short.