Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

I've just finished one of the most powerful books I've read this year. It's by a wonderful woman named Bronnie Ware, and it focuses in on the actual voiced regrets of people she encountered when they were dying. Powerful stuff - go and pick up the book!

Here's a small excerpt:

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Six Secrets My Clients Know For 2018.

The new year is a time of inspiration and new beginnings. Here are some proven methods to make 2018 your best year ever — these are the tenets I share with my clients to help them knock it out of the park every month.

1. Decide to be successful. That’s the first step — most people are afraid of success, not failure. They feel that their lives will change drastically and become unmanageable. They want to stay in control, live the same small life, and worry about money all the time. If you face and conquer your fear of success (and failure) daily, you will see your career and life grow exponentially.

2. Leave the pity party. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and guilty about what you haven't done. It's a new year — take advantage of the freshness of January and work with a clean slate. Too often, we tend to live in a self-imposed pity party where we replay all of our faults, our mistakes, and the bad situations on a loop in our heads. It's time to stop and move forward — don't be that guest who never leaves the party.

3. Make it your duty. This is YOUR life and it's YOUR responsibility to make things better every day. It's YOUR duty to find ways to stay on track and focus on what will make you, your career, and your business better in 2018. Stop blaming or waiting for other people to do it for you. Stop being a baby — no excuses, make it happen.

4. Hang around better tennis players. To get better, you need to hang around people who play the game better than you do. Why? First, they will inspire you to push yourself to new heights — to run faster, jump higher, and perform at a higher level. In addition, better players will teach you better, faster and smarter ways to do things — to streamline your actions for better performance.

5. Work hard. Work smart. I can't say this enough. No one (and I repeat, no one) ever got to where they are by goofing off. By taking their time, moving at a snail's pace, or relaxing during work hours. Every successful person has put in blood, sweat, and tears to get where they are — they work and play hard to get to the levels you only dream about. If you're not putting in at least 40 hours each week, you're never going to get where you want to be.

6. Develop cash-flow opportunities & additional income channels. How can you make more money for the same amount of work? How can you capitalize on your performance and add additional value to what you deliver? Step back and think about what you do every day and see how you can increase it, package it, and disseminate it to get more bang for your buck. What other services or products can you deliver?

I know these six tenets will help you make 2018 your best year ever! If you need an accountability partner, try a complimentary session with me.

They're Taking You For A Ride.

Today I'm going to rant. Sorry. I started my practice 10 years ago. And every day, I receive multiple "Get Rich Quick" schemes in my inbox.

"Just do this (spend money) and gold coins will fall from the sky." A large part of the digital marketing universe is leading on growing businesses with crazy incremental upsells that make me want to scream when I look at them.

And unfortunately, it's catching too many businesspeople in its cross-hairs.

They're quickly getting burned out, constantly feeling confused, doubting themselves, and secretly wondering if maybe they don't have what it takes to live their dream of a successful business.

The Truth: You have the power. You have the knowledge. You have the ability. 

Here are the three things you need to know how to run a successful business:

1. Work Hard — I'm not saying that you have to kill yourself. But you do have to work harder than you ever did in a corporate job. This is YOUR company — you have to put in the hours and focus to get things done. No goofing around — no surfing, no taking the day off, no long lunches with friends — you should be focusing on your prospects, clients, and product.

2. Be Consistent — Too many people try something and then they get distracted. It doesn't work at first and then they give up. I've been writing articles for 8 years and have 750+ articles to my name. I've been attending a professional business group for over 10 years and I almost never miss a meeting (even though I have an hour's commute and it starts at 7 AM). If you have a good idea or innovative strategy, keep at it — people will notice.

3. Stay away from the "Get Rich Quick" people — if they are so foolproof and powerful, why are those people using them to become multi-millionaires? I love the photo, law, or insurance 'experts' who can help you make seven figures in your first year. If they're so good at what they do — why aren't they still practicing what they preach and raking in the big bucks? Because they failed at photography, law, or insurance and now hawk antiquated systems to novice professionals.

Don't fall for it.

How To Become A Billionaire.

A great Quora answer from Justine Musk (Elon Musk's ex-wife) on what it takes to become a billionaire: "Shift your focus away from what you want and get deeply, intensely curious about what the world wants and needs. Ask yourself what it is that you have the potential to bring to the world that is so unique and compelling and helpful that no computer could replace it, no one could outsource it, no one could steal your product and make it better and then club you into oblivion (not literally). Then develop that potential."

"The world doesn't throw a billion dollars at a person because the person wants it or works so hard they feel they deserve it. (The world does not care what you want or deserve.)"

She is so spot on — too many people try to dream their way into success and forget if people will really want or need it. Once in awhile, someone will develop a new idea which attracts buyers, but most of the time (95%), no one really cares.

Read the entire Quora answer here.

The venn diagram above is one I present to clients to help them navigate their businesses and careers. 'The World Needs It' and 'You Are Paid For It' are very important parts of this model. Enjoy!

P.S. I've tried to shy away from any reader comments that might focus more on her divorce settlement and pay attention to her advice. Stick to the facts.