How To Make Your People Feel Special.

One of my favorite stories this year is A Christmas Carol, By Charles Dickens — and my favorite part is the end:

But he was early at the office next morning.  Oh, he was early there.  If he could only be there first, and catch Bob Cratchit coming late!  That was the thing he had set his heart upon.    

And he did it.  The clock struck nine.  No Bob.  A quarter past.  No Bob.  Bob was full eighteen minutes and a half, behind his time.

Bob’s hat was off, before he opened the door; his comforter, too.  He was on his stool in a jiffy, driving away with his pen, as if he were trying to overtake nine o’clock.

“Mr. Cratchit!!” growled Scrooge, in his accustomed voice, as near as he could feign it. 

“What do you mean by coming here at this time of day?”

“I am very sorry, sir,” said Bob. “I am behind my time.”

“You are?” repeated Scrooge.  “Yes.  I think you are.  Step this way, sir, if you please.”

“It’s only once a year, sir,” pleaded Bob.  “It shall not be repeated.  I was making rather merry yesterday, sir.”

“Now, I’ll tell you what, my friend,” said Scrooge, “I am not going to stand this sort of thing any longer.  And therefore,” Scrooge continued, “I am about to raise your salary!”

Bob trembled, and had a momentary idea of calling to the people in the court for help.

“A merry Christmas, Bob!” said Scrooge, with an earnestness that could not be mistaken, as he clapped him on the back.  “A merrier Christmas, Bob, my good fellow, than I have given you, for many a year!  I’ll raise your salary, and endeavor to assist your struggling family, and we will discuss your affairs this very afternoon, over a Christmas bowl of smoking bishop!  Make up the fires, and buy another coal-scuttle before you dot another i, Bob Cratchit!”

Scrooge recognized how awful he treated a valuable part of his business and changed appropriately.

How do you treat your staff? How do you make them feel special? Wanted?

A small comment from you could change their world. A quick email of thanks, a mention during a staff meeting or a word in front of management will make them so excited to be working with you.

I made it a point of calling my employees at home after hours (usually around 8 PM). Their spouse would answer and run to get them. They would pick up and ask, “Rich, is there anything wrong?”

I would say, “ Nothing is wrong. I was going through my files and realized what an impact you’ve been making in our department. You’ve been knocking it out of the park lately and I wanted you to know not only do I appreciate it, but you are also a powerful part of our team. Keep up the great work - we’re going to have a lot of fun next year.”

How do you think they felt when they got off the phone? Like a million bucks. Special communications just like that one MOVE people. As a leader, your job is to motivate, educate, and communicate. This does all three.

P.S. — if you want to see this scene, here it is. (I love YouTube!)

My Gifts To You.

At this time of year, I ask my clients to step back, relax, reflect, and re-fuel. Here are some of the best resources I used in 2019 to do just that. Enjoy!

BOOKS & AUDIBLE:

How Music Works By David Byrne
This book teaches you all about BUSINESS. It’s an enthusiastic look at the musical art form — Byrne taps deeply into his lifetime of knowledge to explore the elements of music, how it shapes the human experience, and reveals the impetus behind how we create, consume, distribute, and enjoy the songs, symphonies, and rhythms that provide the backbeat of life. Byrne’s magnum opus uncovers ever-new and thrilling realizations about the redemptive liberation that music brings us all.

12 Rules For Life By Jordan Peterson
Humorous, surprising and informative, Dr. Peterson tells us why skateboarding boys and girls must be left alone, what terrible fate awaits those who criticize too easily, and why you should always pet a cat when you meet one on the street. What does the nervous system of the lowly lobster have to tell us about standing up straight (with our shoulders back) and about success in life? Why did ancient Egyptians worship the capacity to pay careful attention as the highest of gods? What dreadful paths do people tread when they become resentful, arrogant and vengeful? Dr. Peterson journeys broadly, discussing discipline, freedom, adventure and responsibility, distilling the world's wisdom into 12 practical and profound rules for life. 

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones By James Clear
No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving--every day. Clear reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results. If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. Here, you'll get a proven system that can take you to new heights. 

How to Be a No-Limit Person By Dr. Wayne Dyer
One of my favorite audible books, I’ve been listening to it since I graduated from college. It is also one of those rare programs that have universal relevance and appeal. No matter what age you are, what you do, or where your interests lie, Dr. Dyer will have you nodding your head in recognition and laughing out loud even as you feel your outlook changing, your options multiplying, and your capacity for living positively and purposefully expanding by leaps and bounds.

PODCASTS:

The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish
Powerful topics every week. Named by Apple as one of the best listens of 2019, the Knowledge Project has garnered the attention of those who want to better understand themselves, others, and the world around them. Together with host Shane Parrish, you’ll uncover the timeless ideas, mental models, stories, and life lessons that help you master the best of what other people have already figured out.

Pivot with Scott Galloway & Kara Swisher
My favorite podcast. Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway offer sharp, unfiltered insights into the biggest stories in tech, business, and politics. They make bold predictions, pick winners and losers, and bicker and banter like no one else. After all, with great power comes great scrutiny. 

The Portal with Eric Weinstein
Eric brings life to subjects that would be a complete bore in most academic settings. I love that he challenges his audience with material depth. Eric has brilliant guests and is devastatingly intelligent. Listening to his podcast is a good reminder of how much smarter than me many people are — I am always blown away by the new things I learn. Eric is promoting something crucially lacking from the world of today, intellectually honest conversation of the highest quality. 

The Joe Rogan Podcast
With over 1400 episodes and counting, the JRE has been running for almost 10 years and is one of the most listened-to contemporary podcasts. The majority of the episodes have a long — up to 3 hours — continuous live-streamed format which enables an in-depth conversation with wide variety of topics and guests, ranging from celebrities and entertainers to scientists and athletes covering everything from existence of aliens to psychedelics — each episode having multiple millions of listeners worldwide and offering an alternative and competitive program to the mainstream media. 

Two Heads: Brand Marketing & Strategic Coaching for Today’s Marketplace
You need to listen to this podcast because . . . it’s mine. BJ Flagg and I have over 118 podcasts covering many timely issues impacting your career and business every day. The best part? Each episode is only 12-15 minutes long. We’d love to hear from you.

Let’s close out an incredible 2019 and let’s welcome an unbelievable 2020! - Rich

How To Successfully Change Your Game.

In the movie Fight Club (a male perennial favorite like ‘The Godfather’), the lead character works for an auto company and spouts out a formula they use for deciding whether to recall a model of their car or just let it go on killing people:

“Take the number of vehicles in the field, (A), and multiply it by the probable rate of failure, (B), then multiply the result by the average out-of-court settlement, (C). A times B times C equals X . . . If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.”

It’s a scary formula — but an apt example of how one should look critically at a decision. When I coach my clients, career change comes down to three choices:

1. Do nothing. Keep doing what you’re doing.

2. Do something slightly different. Change the dynamic.

3. Change radically (move or something totally new). Take charge of your life.

You need to stay ahead of the curve. So if you do nothing, eventually the marketplace is going to catch up to you and pass you pretty quickly. If you do something slightly different, you’re just staving off the inevitable, it’s catching up soon.

If you move or change your model radically, you stay ahead of the curve. Although you might be at the burning edge of the marketplace or your career path, you still are 100% in control of your destiny.

Your career or business needs to follow a Sigmoid Curve (above). The secret to constant growth is to start a new sigmoid curve before the first one peters out. The right place to start that second curve is at a first intersection where there is time, as well as the resources and energy, to get the new curve through its initial explorations and floundering before the first curve begins to dip downward (second intersection).

And that’s what it’s all about. Maintaining complete control over what you do, where you go, and what happens to you.

It’s your choice: If you let things happen to you, you are at the whim of management or the marketplace. If you take control and make decisions about your future, you have a little bit more say in the direction of your journey.

“Stop waiting for life to happen to you and begin to direct your life and explore your limits.” - Rich Gee

Extra Credit: Here's a real-life example: Years ago, I worked with one of the most energetic, positive, and professional executives I've ever met. He was a pleasure to interact with, always moving forward, always getting things done. In fact, both he and I won the organization's highest award that year. We were going places — and in less than a few months, he was gone, off to another position at another company. In fact, he's done it successfully throughout his career. Today, he's the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Fancy that.

Me? I do what I love too. Every single day.

Now Is The Time To Plan For 2020.

December is the perfect time to start laying out your plans for the new year. 

First, I'd like you to revisit 2019 to better understand where you are and where you need to go. Answer these questions (I will break out each section for business owners and corporate executives to make your planning a better fit for your profession):

1. WHAT WENT RIGHT IN 2019?

Businesses: What behaviors, habits, initiatives or projects were a success? Were they easy to do or did they take a lot of work on your part? What kind of ROI did you see from them? 

Corporate: Who did you meet that gave you a tremendous leg up within the company? What areas grew in 2019? What projects were a big hit to upper management and customers? Where did you find efficiencies in your day-to-day activities?

2. What Went Wrong In 2019?

Businesses: What did you expect to happen and it didn't? Where did you spend a large amount of time or money? Did any of your feeder or prospect lines dry up this year? Did your competition do something that you're not doing?

Corporate: What areas of the company or people were a waste of time? What projects failed or were put on hold, eliminated? Where are the weak areas of your department/division? How's your boss doing?

Looking back gives you a great foundation to start planning for 2020. You should continue what went well and make hard decisions to possibly stop those areas that went sideways in 2019.

3. Set New Goals.

Now for 2020 - where are you now at the end of 2019 and where do you want to be in 2020? 

Businesses: 
Financially: 10%, 20%, or 25% rise in revenue?
Clients/Customers: 20-40% increase? Better customers? Faster paying?
Work/Life Balance: Spend less time worrying? More time away?
Better Feeders: More qualified referrals?
Hire Staff: Your first hire? More staff? Better qualified?

Corporate: 
Financially: A bigger bump in salary/bonus?
Work: Better, more high-profile projects?
Connect: Meet the movers and shakers in the company?
Move On: Time to go?

Use the SMART method to ensure success for each goal:

Specific: Is the goal clearly written?
Measurable: How many/much and how often?
Achievable: Is it a realistic goal? Need support?
Relevant: Does it make a significant difference? 
Time-Bound: Clear & specific completion date?

4. Lock-In Your Goals With Deadlines.

If you don't measure it, it will never get done. It's that simple. Take each of your goals and do three things:

a. Define the sub-activities and tasks that have to occur to deliver the goal on-time.
b. Place each task in your calendar and list all the people/resources required for you to complete it. Use a GANTT chart if needed.
c. Set a hard deadline when you want to see it DONE. Be reasonable and honest with yourself.

Don't wait until January to start your planning. Do it today.

How To Play Politics With Political People.

I'm bad at politics. Most of us are. 

If you experience evil political people at work or in your business, this article is for you. 

Political people suck - in the everyday business world, we call them 'empty suits'. In Texas, they call them 'All hat, no cattle'. They are a natural predator of the business savannah and we probably bump into them every day, in a meeting room where they hone their craft.

I've come up with 5 rules to help navigate around these scoundrels effectively:

1. Be Switzerland. Be neutral. Political people try to snare you into a political cage of their thinking - and then try to turn it on you. Don't play their game - don't take one side or another - act matter-of-fact and don't play the game — walk away.

2. Be nice to the person who gives you money. Never gossip about your boss or clients to ANYONE. It always has a way of coming back to bite you where it really hurts. In today's business world, inside information is currency and unfortunately, you can't trust anyone. So keep your comments to yourself. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

3. Don't gossip. We all love to gossip — for some reason we like to hear about other's failings, misfortune, and travails (there's actually a word for that - schadenfreude). Candidly, it's NONE of your business. Stop focusing on other people and better understand the reason why the person gossiping is telling you - they probably have an angle or ax to grind. And they're probably gossiping about you too.

4. Communicate often. In a highly politicized environment, you need to regularly and effectively communicate/document your activities, accomplishments, and ideas. Political people love to fold reality - you need to fight back with facts. Make a regular process to communicate frequently with your boss/clients with weekly updates to 'CYA' any possible future misrepresentation of your activities.

5. Do your BEST work. The easiest way for a political person can take advantage of you is to stab you in the back when your defenses are low. It's usually when you rushed something or didn't complete it within a stated timeframe (and you slipped it through). They will be there with a shiv at the right moment and announce it to everyone. The best way to combat this is to work efficiently, effectively, and if you do drop the ball, let your boss/client know ASAP before your enemies storm the gates.

6. Extra Credit - Stand up to bullies. Let's face it - political people are assholes. They thrive and bank their careers on pointing out other's misfortune, and manipulating the facts for their advantage. Sometimes we need to stand up for ourselves and take them to task when they hurt you. One way is to meet with them one-on-one and vehemently point out you know their game. Be calm but be stern, most low-level politicians will slink away and never darken your doorstep again. Higher-level politicians need a light to be focused on them (during a meeting). The best way to do that is to use incontrovertible FACTS and keep hammering their wishy-washy statements until they wither and die. Stand your ground.

Political people and organizations suck. But they are a reality of business - if you do all five (six) rules I've presented, you'll be happier and work more effectively around these stinkers.

November/December: The BEST Time To Start Your Job Search!

You think I'm crazy. 

Most people are powering down their searches for Thanksgiving and hibernating for the holidays. They will rocket out of their cave on January 2nd with vim and vigor to attack the marketplace.

That's crazy. It will be too late. Why?

1. A cast of thousands. You'll be just commencing your search again, with thousands of other aspiring job searchers. The competition is fierce where you will be seeing hundreds of applicants for the same job. You need to start earlier to escape the onslaught.

2. Now is the time to act. In a healthy economy with low unemployment, many people come back from the holidays with renewed energy and a fresh focus. They might not like their job — so they will be getting their materials organized and out looking for a new one in January.

3. Meet new people. It's easier to get a coffee or lunch with a potential target now instead of January. Most organizations tend to start slowing down at this time of the year, final sales have been made, everyone is more relaxed and waiting for the onslaught of holidays and parties. They're more approachable — they know they have a budget next year to hire, why not meet with potential applicants NOW?

4. Plan now. If you're just beginning or revising your job search, Nov/Dec is the best time to start getting a plan together, refreshing your resume and LinkedIn profile, and start targeting new companies. It's going to take a few weeks working with a coach to get all your ducks in order before you hit the streets.

5. You have the time. Over the next 4-6 weeks, you're going to have a lot of holiday buffer to prepare all the materials required for a powerful search. This rarely happens at other times of the year.

6. You're a slingshot. Psychologically, this will be the time for you to start pulling back on the band and stretching it as far as it can go. When January 1st hits, you release the slingshot and rocket off into the marketplace with your best suit on prepared to dazzle your interviewer.

7. It's the smart thing to do. If you need help with a Job Search coach, Resume-writer, or LinkedIn expert, NOW is the time to get one and help you gear up for 2020.

And if you're interested in working with a Job Search Coach to accelerate your search, give me a call at 203-500-2421 or email me at hello@richgee.com. Or just check out my site at richgee.com and see all the other clients I've helped find great positions during the year. 

Happy Holidays!

5 Steps To Motivate Your Team (and you).

In How To Motivate People, Fran Tarkenton, professional quarterback for the NFL and TV personality, offers a focused motivation system — "People don't change their behavior unless it makes a difference to them to do so." The first area I'd like to tackle in my "Are You A Catalyst?" series is Motivation.

Fran focuses on three immutable rules:

1. Good behavior that is reinforced by positive consequences tends to continue or to improve.

2. Behavior that is demotivated by negative consequences tends to decrease.

3. Good, productive behavior that goes unnoticed tends to decrease over time.

It all comes down to the right rewards — and Tarkenton uses a simple system to ensure correct behavioral principles — P R I C E.

Pinpoint

Focus on the behavior you are trying to influence, then set precise objectives of what needs to be done, by whom, and by what date. Objectives must be realistic, easily understood, meaningful, and the result of every member of the team getting together to set them.

Recording

Keeping score is a motivator in business as it is in sports. Keep score of performance during a critical project, customer service, production, sales and any other performances that can be measured. Post or communicate the scores publicly — tie results to positive consequences such as bonuses and promotions.

Scorekeeping lets the individual and group know how they're doing and how their performance ties in with the organization's. In addition, when it comes to tangible consequences such as bonuses, people gain the satisfaction of knowing they have contributed to a winning team.

Involvement

Move from the old school mindset and get your people to play an engaged role in their work. It takes time for a participative approach to get off the ground (have patience!), but it does work and the benefits of getting the most from your team extends to other departments throughout the company (great advertising for you!).

Consequences

This is where you start to change behavior. At this point, you can provide positive, negative, or no reinforcement. The last is the most typical situation and unfortunately, the most useless. Poor behavior doesn't change and positive behavior that goes unnoticed may change dramatically for the worse.

Tie consequences directly to performance improvement. When someone does something right, let them know immediately that you've noticed and appreciate it. When you want to change the behavior, proceed just as quickly. Focus on the behavior and not the person, and make it clear that change is a must.

Evaluation

Determine whether what you tried worked. Did you pinpoint the right behaviors that were holding you back? Were you on target with recording, involvement, and consequences? Keep fine-tuning your system until it hums.

Remember, the most successful managers will be those who can motivate to win because they understand what gets people off their behinds and energized.

What do you do to motivate your team? How do you motivate yourself?

How We Sabotage Our Success.

Let me take you through a simple business process and show you how we all sabotage our success every day with subtle procrastination behaviors:

I had to FedEx a letter to a prominent executive last week to connect with them. Pretty easy? Not on your life (in fact, I use the same process I leverage with my clients everyday — same template, same process, same delivery).

The funny thing is, you wouldn't believe the myriad of ways fear, uncertainty, and doubt took over in my mind to stop me from doing this simple task. For instance:

1. When composing the letter, it took me HOURS to decide on a template (design). Not too fancy, should I use my logo?, how should I sign it?, what should I say?, is it too much (too funny/clever)?, etc.

2. Working with FedEx Online was fun. Just as I set up my account and answered all their questions, I lost the whole thing three times. If that doesn't frustrate you, I don't know what will.

3. Getting the letter in an envelope. What to put outside? A Post-It? A formal label? What!?!?!?!?!?

4. Transporting the letter to the nearest FedEx location in time to ensure the date on the letter is reasonable. With a schedule like mine, it's hard to make a major detour, especially with Mr. Procrastination rearing it's ugly head.

5. Deciding on what FedEx level to send. There are probably 25 different permutations from cheap (slow) to outrageously expensive (fast).

6. Seeing an imperceptible spot on the envelope and canceling the entire process and starting all over again.

You get the gist of it. I threw up so many stupid, mental roadblocks in my way that I almost didn't send the letter. A letter. A simple letter. Do you do this? What are the subtle behaviors you have that knock you off course?

The only thing that got me through it is just telling myself the old Winston Churchill quote: "Never, never, never give up."

And I didn't. Now I have to call the guy tomorrow. Wish me luck.

P.S. I tracked the letter - mailed it in Shelton, it went to Memphis and then back to Westport. You gotta love FedEx traffic!

How Do You Get More Confident?

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

The other day, I was coaching one of my clients on building confidence. “Most people mix-up confidence with cockiness. A person who is being cocky says. “I know that.” They’re cocky because they’re conceited or arrogant, especially in a bold or impudent way.

Confident people are different. They might say, “Really, I did not know that. Tell me more.” They’re showing confidence in oneself; self-assured. They do not have to brag or showoff, because they feel at peace with their self-esteem. 

So how do you get more confident? I use the word ‘more’ because confidence isn’t a light switch, it’s a gradual range from awkward/incompetent all the way to cocky/braggart with confident right smack in the middle.

The development of confidence is based on your actions (body language, etc), not because of words. A true belief in yourself is developed due to internal and external validations that occur again and again. Let me repeat — AGAIN & AGAIN. There are one offs who, since birth, have had irrational confidence in themselves. You know them — Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos. But they’re outliers.

Irrational confidence allows these individuals to lift themselves up and know that they will eventually prosper at the something they're after. These irrationally confident people still know of the hard road ahead of them. The only difference between them and your average Joe is that they have decided they will never give up. That they will get what they're after, no matter the cost.

Here is the bad news — in order to become confident about something, you must prove to yourself that you are great at that thing. However, if you want to become great at that thing, you must do it over and over again. And, if not the first day, before long, you will fail. No one likes failure. Many failures can hurt your ego and your self-esteem. 

Years and years or even months and months of this punishment can demoralize you and get you to give up. Here we reach the tipping point for most. They will begin rationalizing whether or not it is worth it, and decide whether or not they should abandon their goal. The comfortable will almost always abandon their goal because, why bother... they don't really need to do that, they have X, Y, and Z anyway?

This is why you will easily develop confidence in the things that you are most passionate about. But, if you're not naturally passionate about it, you must sell your soul in order to prosper and gain an unwavering confidence. Whatever it is must own you for a least a period of time. It must consume you and make your knuckles white. Or, you must box yourself in and force yourself to become passionate about it. You must remove the comfort, in order to create a desire.

However, there are some things you can do to make yourself more confident in starting after something at all. At it's root, confidence is really a convergence of life experiences. Confidence for all those things you have sold your soul to (with lots of money spent) and the confidence developed from your passions, all begin to compound to create a smoother journey for those things you lack confidence in. 

In this way, your ego takes over, and helps you to power through situations you're less confident about. "I can talk to my boss without being nervous, I am the woman who came from nothing, look what I made myself into." Or, "I can talk in front of all these people, I was able to overcome X, Y, and Z. What I went through was hard, and look at what I can do."

However, what is still missing is the succession of this task, and succession over and over again. You must have a track record in the particular task in order to feel an unwavering confidence. You must truly believe, and prove it to yourself. 

Whatever it is you want to be confident about, you must practice it until you're blue in the face. You must understand that pain is a normal part of this journey, and so is failure. But, when you reach a state of confidence, nothing feels better, or makes you feel more alive.

Practice what you want to become.

Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

I've just finished one of the most powerful books I've read this year. It's by a wonderful woman named Bronnie Ware, and it focuses in on the actual voiced regrets of people she encountered when they were dying. Powerful stuff - go and pick up the book!

Here's a small excerpt:

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

What Type of Leader Are You?

Too often, we are placed in a situation that requires us to modify our reaction to a person. For example:

• An associate on our staff who challenges our authority.

• A client who is very late on their payment.

• A peer who throws you under the bus in front of your boss.

We try to be professional, calm, cool, and collected — but sometimes we need to step out of our management comfort zone to react appropriately. Unfortunately, we don’t want to come off like a jerk. I’m here to help you.

There is a range of management personalities — I want you to stay away from the extremes. At one extreme of the range is a ‘Pushover’. We all know someone like that and unfortunately, no one wants to be one. On the other extreme of the range is a ‘Jerk’. We’ve all worked for one in our lives.

In the center of the range is the ‘Professional’. Someone who is direct and pleasant to work with. They’re fair and non-judgmental. We all try to maintain our proactive and reactive behavior in the center.

Then an errant associate, client, or peer tries to take advantage of your good nature. Many people let it happen because they “don’t want to come off like a Jerk”. 

Then, don’t go there. There is an extreme amount of range in-between ‘Professional’ and ‘Jerk.’ In fact, many good managers will move a bit down on the range and let their ‘Stern’ behavior out and take the associate, client, or peer to task. That’s a normal business process — show them that you mean business.

Too often, we’re also afraid of being labeled a ‘Pushover’, so we guard ourselves and treat everyone with a ‘Stern’ manner. On the other end of the range is ‘Nice’ — being overly pleasant, accommodating, and motivating without veering off into ‘Pushover’-Land.

Bottom line, try to maintain your management style in the ‘Professional’ center with infrequent trips to ‘Nice’ and ‘Stern’ when the errant situation appears. I’ve seen the best leaders hover in ‘Professional’ and radiate out on the range when needed.

If you worry about coming off as a ‘Jerk’ to people, stop worrying. A Jerk never worries about that — they’re too busy being a Jerk.

Do You Have A Fixed Or Growth Attitude?

You have a Growth Attitude when you see your abilities as just the starting point which can be developed by dedication, hard work, and effort. This viewpoint creates a resilience, a love of learning, and easy acceptance of new challenges.

Frequent inner thoughts of a growth attitude:
“Failure is an opportunity to grow”
”I can learn to do anything I want”
”Challenges help me to grow”
”My effort and attitude determine my abilities”
”Feedback is constructive”
”I am inspired by the success of others”
”I like to try new things”

You have a Fixed Attitude when you believe your abilities are just given to you. You might constantly worry about how adequate/inadequate you are instead of developing your abilities. You believe talent alone creates success — without effort and are reluctant to take on challenges.

Frequent inner thoughts of a fixed attitude:
”Failure is the limit of my abilities”
”I’m either good at it or I’m not”
”My abilities are unchanging”
”I can either do it, or I can’t”
”I don’t like to be challenged”
”My potential is predetermined”
”When I’m frustrated I give up”
”Feedback and criticism are personal”
”I stick to what I know”

Here’s the kicker — you can move from a Fixed Attitude to a Growth Attitude instantly. How?

Most people have a mixture of a Growth (GA) and Fixed Attitude (FA) — they might be more fixed at home and growth oriented at work. And if you aren’t a mixture of the two, you can slowly move on the Fixed-Growth Attitude spectrum just a bit. Here are some examples to help you expand your Growth Attitude:

Read a book. Most FA people usually say, “I know everything I need to know!” Pick out a self-help, business, biography or history book and start reading. You will get new ideas from it.

Try something new. Don’t keep doing the same things the same way — drive home a different way, host a meeting outside instead of in a stuffy conference room, reach out and have lunch with a connected person.

When you’re about to give up, stick to it. Frustration can be a powerful motivator if focused in the right direction. When we hit an obstacle, we tend to retreat — re-double your efforts and move forward.

Challenges in life are a part of growth. It’s the world testing us to see if we will evolve or huddle in our cave (or cubicle). If work stops becoming a series of challenges and turns into a 9-5 mundane process, it’s time for you to kick it up a notch. Ask for more interesting work, get on a hot project, or look for a better position.

Go After The Puck.

As Wayne Gretzky said a number of years ago: 
"I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been."

— Where do you think your puck is going to be in the next five years?

— Where is your career or business going? Is it thriving or flat?

— Where is your industry going? Growing or shrinking?

These are VERY scary questions to ask on a Monday morning. Let’s be honest — when is the right time to ask?

We tend to hide in our comfort zone — we cocoon in our offices and cubicles or keep selling the same products and services year after year. 

Suddenly, someone comes along and upsets the entire apple cart. They not only turn it over, they burn it down. We’ve seen it happen to many industries lately — but we keep sticking our head in the sand hoping to get just ONE MORE YEAR.

I want you to be proactive instead of reactive. Here are three actions for success:

1. Who is your most connected, influential or successful friend? Set up a lunch with them. You need to start surrounding yourself with success — they know where the puck is going. Do this every week.

2. Where is your industry, company, clients, etc. are going to be in the next 2-3 years? What’s happening? What’s changing? Who are the change makers? Learn who’s doing what and where you need to go.

3. Start preparing yourself. You need to get into the mindset that you’ll be moving from company to company every few years. If you own a business, you need to re-evaluate your clients, your products, and your marketplace yearly. Don’t get complacent — that’s a recipe for disaster today.

Go hit that puck. Today.

You Need A Career ‘Bug-Out Bag’

When reporters are sent instantly abroad for a story, they have a ‘go-bag’ packed and ready to go. If you live near a high-risk area for disaster, many people have a ‘bug-out’ bag by the door, in-case they have to leave their home within minutes.

I want you to build your own Career Bug-Out Bag for your next departure and smooth landing. Odds are, you’re not going to spend your life at your company, so we need to put in place certain behaviors and items in your Bag.

I engage all of my clients to be in a position of confidence and assertiveness when it comes to their job. If you have a boss that suddenly turns awful, or the company’s fortunes sour, or the marketplace turns, I want you to grab your Bag and run to the next position ASAP.

If you really want to understand what I mean — watch this film clip. Caution - there’s lots of swearing, but it gets my point across quickly. 

What you should ‘pack’ in your Career Bug-Out Bag:

Resume — keep it up-to-date with your current role and frequently modify based on your activities and successes over the past few years.

LinkedIn Profile — duplicate your resume modifications on your profile, regularly add connections, once a week post an article to keep it fresh, and get recommendations/testimonials with people in your business circle. In addition, replace your headshot regularly (every 2 years).

Connections — have phone calls, coffee, lunch with key connections on a regular basis. Do not let your contact base atrophy — even a simple 10-minute phone call in the morning can do wonders for your career. Maintain your contact list at work and home.

Networking/Events — schedule monthly networking or events on your calendar. You need to consistently pop the company bubble, get out, and meet new people.

Marketing Yourself — continue to write articles and speak at conferences to hone your message, develop your industry authority, and stay fresh.

Always Looking & Asking — Don’t cocoon at your new role. Keep your eyes wide open for new opportunities within and outside your new company. I ask my clients to move from role to role every 3 years to stay fresh and significantly increase their worth on the market.

Your Smile Is Your Logo.

“Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card, how you leave others feeling after an experience with you becomes your trademark.” — Jay Danzie

Too often, we tend to hide our real connecting abilities with brochures, pamphlets, websites, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and a myriad of other distractions. Not that they are BAD per se, but they sometimes get in the way of what REALLY counts.

SMILE: 
When you first meet someone, do you project a REAL smile? 

Are you genuinely happy to meet them? Or are you faking it? Step back and understand WHY you might not be fully engaged in making a new friend. Are you insecure? Are you tired? Are you distracted? The more present you are when connecting with people, the more successful you'll be in life because you are projecting true authenticity. You’re there to make a new friend.

PERSONALITY: 
How can you kick up your personality? 

Most people think they can't — the personality they have is the one they're always going to have. That's bunk. You can change your personality instantly by kicking up your enthusiasm, engage your body language, pump up your patter — talk faster, a bit more forceful, change the intonation frequently. Act like you are excited to meet them and learn all about them. Make connecting stick.

MAKE THEM FEEL GOOD: 
Take a genuine interest in the other person you're connecting with.

Ask powerful questions, "What new things are you doing this year? How are they turning out?" Ask lots of questions and really try to understand who they are, what they do, and how you can help them. Follow up with my favorite three-word phrase: “Tell me more!"

"The more goodwill you spread out into the world, the more it will circle around and come right back to you.” — Rich Gee

To Succeed, You Have To Hustle.

Are You A Pilot Or Passenger In Your Career?

If you hit a crisis or something goes wrong, it's someone else's fault. We are the victim. 

That isn't the case. Stop being the victim. Start taking control of your life and career. Turn off your career ‘cruise control’ and direct your life.

CHALLENGE #1:
I want you to do one thing today that scares you.

Pick up that phone right now and make that call you’ve been procrastinating on. Check out that company you've always dreamed to work for. Arrive at work extra-early and get more done in one day than you've ever done before. Push yourself farther and scare yourself in the process. You'll thank me.

If you're doing it the same way other people are doing it, you're doing it wrong. That’s usually the ‘safe’ or 'old’ way of doing it.

Be brave and do something completely different. Be creative and take a risk — reach out to people and try something new. Don't care about what other people think — that will just hold you back. Ask for forgiveness, not permission.

CHALLENGE #2:
Take a moment and think of one simple, crazy change you can make.

Design a new business card, reach out to that senior VP or business owner who is doing cool stuff that amazes you. Ask them to lunch. Test a new way of running your project — put it on an express train and beat that deadline.

I hate the word inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work. Don't wait for that bolt of lightning to hit your brain. Do it NOW.

The best ideas come from doing and working the process. It comes out of actually accomplishing the work. It’s time to get your hands really dirty.

CHALLENGE #3:
Stop waiting for that 'inspirational' idea to jump out and land on a blank sheet of paper.

If it hasn’t happen yet, it’s never going to happen. Dig into work this week and see where you can streamline a process, delegate a lame task, or discard an outmoded activity. Get rid of them.

Work smarter, not harder. You will suddenly see new ways of doing things better, stronger, faster (like the Six-Million Dollar Man). Stop meandering along doing the same old thing the same old way.

Hustle this week. You'll thank me.

Do The Impossible — The Country Club Technique.

Successful businesses and careers are a lot about making tough things happen.

We get caught up in the inertia of our fears and are afraid of making a mistake. One exercise we use with our clients centers around a 'country club event'. Here's the scenario . . . you are in front of a country club and we've charged you with the task of getting into their 'event' with no invitation, no money, nothing.

Now you may ask, like all of our clients do, how can I do this? And we say - "I don't care. Just figure it out and MAKE IT HAPPEN." We then let the client come up with a number of scenarios how they could talk their way into that event successfully.

• "Maybe I sneak in the side door and go through the kitchen."

• "I can make friends with people in the parking lot and go into the party with them."

• "I can inquire at the lobby about membership in the club and get in that way."

• "I can paraglide from a remote mountain and land on the golf course and sneak in wearing a tux."

You get the idea. This technique primes your brain to think of alternatives without your fears canceling them out. It gives you a platform to then substitute your situation and make assertive decisions and subsequent actions.

Career and business changes produce a similar situation — "I don't know where to begin." or "I don't know who to talk to." or "What happens if it goes wrong?" are frequent responses.

What we then say is: "I don't care. Just figure it out and MAKE IT HAPPEN." We then brainstorm scenarios on how to meet that CEO or this important person and then MAKE IT HAPPEN. Action sometimes trumps deep thought (and worry).

The next time you run into an obstacle, step back and say "Figure this out and MAKE IT HAPPEN." You'll find yourself taking action before the fear and complacency begin to move in and you get that much closer to changing your career.

Nike was right with "Just Do It".

One Of My Favorite Life-Changing Quotes.

“If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, it’s time to water your own grass.”

• Stop trying to compare yourself to others if you always make yourself feel inferior.

• Stop trying to yearn for a better job , if you don’t first try to make your current job better.

• Stop making the same mistake again and again because you focus on others and not on yourself.

• Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses in your career.

Here are some simple tips to help:

How would you rate how effective you are at your current job?

Not how hard you work, how smart? Remember high school . . . did you get straight A’s? Do you do extra credit to ensure that your GPA is at the top? If not, you won’t do any better at your next job. Ask your boss for more work, take night classes, read books, surf the web for knowledge . . . Start watering your lawn.

How many important people do you know in your company?

Outside of your company? Every lawn needs it’s fertilizer — in addition to watering, you need to add a healthy sprinkling of important connections to make your career grow strong.

Are you adding ‘WOW’ to the current responsibilities you have?

Take a concerted interest in growing your own lawn first. Take work home and see how you can grow your own plot of land first — who can you influence, who can add fertilizer?

Maybe you need to trim your own lawn.

Where can you cut? What activities or tasks can be dropped to focus on the more important responsibilities? Who can you delegate to? Hand off some responsibilities that others might want to do?

Are there old cars or rusting play-sets on your lawn?

Time to brush those errant tasks and hangers-on that tend to waste your time and affect the growth of your lawn. Clear out and retire the obsolete activities and the non-essential meetings that take your eye off your lawn.

Are there idiots at night driving on your lawn, making deep ruts with their truck?

Investigate, isolate, and take care of errant peers, bosses, and subordinates who are sabotaging your efforts to grow a strong and healthy lawn. Shut them out of meetings, don’t talk to them and if need be, escalate to the appropriate areas. Also, put up an electric fence around your property — if they decide to go driving again, they will get a real shock!

Try and take care of your own lawn first . . . you might have the best piece of property on the street and not know it until you take action.

Be A Time Management God.

Over the past few weeks, I've been aggregating many time management tips I share with my clients to get more done in the limited amount of time they have.

It's a mix of managing your time more effectively and dealing with that old devil — procrastination. By the way, if you feel you're the worst offender in the world, get in line. We ALL suffer from these ailments:

• Time management is really prioritizing your tasks. If you really want to get something done, block time for each task in your calendar (yes, keeping an accurate calendar is critical). Ensure you add buffer time (prep work, travel time, etc.) or your calendar will fail miserably.

• You will always find an excuse to procrastinate. Procrastination has its own in-built solution, usually involving panic and adrenaline (read this).

• Take frequent, short breaks. Falling back to regroup can help many people recharge and regain focus when things start getting fuzzy or monotonous. Go for a walk, stretch, get a coffee — move away for a few minutes and then come back to it.

• "Perfect is the enemy of good." I develop a good balance of quality and time — I schedule a strict deadline and work to it. The result won't be perfect, but it will be close to perfect every time. My articles take 60 minutes to write — they’re not Shakespeare, but thousands of people read them and let me know how many of my crazy ideas have changed their lives.

• Work for 50 minutes out of every hour. The Pomodoro technique works pretty well for me and many of my clients.

• Learn what your productivity kryptonite is. For some it's surfing, coworkers, surfing, clients, phone calls, surfing — download an app if you don’t have the willpower. There are a bunch of plugins/apps you can download to block yourself from distracting websites: StayFocusd (Chrome plugin) or SelfControl (Mac program).

• Always have a notepad handy. Write down anything/everything you may think you will forget in short form. You can then transfer it to your calendar.

• Plan out each tasks into smaller, more achievable steps. Keep your to-do lists short — meaning nothing more than 2 or 3 steps. I've found that if I follow this, there's a better chance of completing them and less chance of becoming overwhelmed and giving up.

• Go to a public place where we feel we might be judged if we are not doing work. It might be the public library, Starbucks, central conference room or the company cafeteria.

• Make a schedule of what you will do in one day and stick to it. At first, it will be difficult to accurately estimate a solid workday — but you’ll get better at it with time. Reward yourself for achieving your goals that day — you deserve it.

• Buy this book by David Allen. I read it years ago and I felt more relaxed in the first week — it really helps you to focus on the things that really need to be done.

• Find out which hours you are at your BEST. For example, I’m a morning person so I try to do critical tasks early in the morning. Many problems arise when we try to do the hard stuff when we’re not mentally/physically ready for it.

• Eliminate elements which tend to eat your time like unnecessarily long phone calls, useless chats with people, etc. Figure out what they are and cut down doing them.

• Don't play the victim. If I get distracted by something, it isn't the fault of what/who distracted me, my cluttered-brain, whatever's making me sad, or some ADHD affliction — it's my fault. I did that. Own it and move on.

• Start each day with the proper mindset. I think the song ‘Don't Stop Believin’ by Journey describes the mindset I aim for. I listen to motivating music, podcasts, or books EVERY DAY.

• Buy AirPods. They’re a giant productivity boost for me — they allow me to focus on getting important things done and they discourage wacky interlopers.

And finally, my favorite:

I construct each weekday in such a way where the only work that needs to be accomplished is incredibly important to me — like coaching my clients. Try to put yourself in a position where what you do is what you love.

The Importance Of Playing Tennis With Better Tennis Players.

"It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you'll drift in that direction." - Warren Buffett

Have you ever played tennis?

• Play with someone worse than you, you won’t push yourself at all and play at a much lower level than you usually do. You’ll coast.

• Play with an equal player, I promise your game will be boring as hell. Back and forth, you get one point, they get one point. BORING.

• Play with a better player and you'll be forced to play a better game. You’ll have to move faster, anticipate their moves, and push yourself harder than you ever have before.

Think of all the highly successful business people you know, whom do they hang around with? Who do they have lunch with? Why do you think they do that?

Because they play a better game. The easiest way for an adult to learn is to mimic other adults actions and behaviors. It could be a very apparent behavior or a very subtle action. But these cues are picked up (just like in tennis) and are absorbed.

So today, you need to play a better game. Hang with the big boys and girls. Watch what they do, how they react, how they take action. Set up that lunch, make that appointment, hire that new rising star — it’s time you play your ‘A’ game.

You might surprise yourself and serve that ace.