Be Direct & Ask For What You Want.

If you want something, ask for it. Pretty simple, eh? Actually, it's not. Many people run into external (and more frequently) internal obstacles.

Even though more women are affected than men, it's not just a woman's thing. Many men also run into the same obstacles when direct requests are required.

Why does it happen? Why do we shirk from being direct with a boss, colleague, or client?

1. We are afraid of coming off as whining or complaining.

2. We are afraid of a blunt response that will further deepen our insecurity.

3. We don't know what we really want.

4. You don't really believe you will receive what you are asking for (limiting beliefs).

5. You don't feel you have to ask — people should instantly realize your needs.

6. You don't know HOW to ask.

Most psychological studies prove that people are more likely to help you if you just ask in a simple and direct fashion. A smile doesn't hurt either. Most people are nice and willing to help someone in need.

One way I help my clients overcome being direct is to do "The Starbucks Challenge". I ask them to go to their local Starbucks, find the most expensive drink on the menu, order it, and then ask for a discount. It's amazing most people will build up a temporary anxiety complex all the way to the Starbucks location. They will run through various scenarios and their fear will mount until they ultimately ask for a discount. Of course, they will be turned down — but the realization afterward that they were acting childish makes the lesson even more powerful. Try it.

So let's tackle each one:

We are afraid of coming off as whining or complaining.

This is one of the biggies — we don't want to sound whiny or negative, so we don't really ask for what we really need. In fact, if you dance around the subject or draw out the request, YOU WILL sound whiny. Be direct, ask for what you want, and listen for the response — you will be pleasantly surprised.

We are afraid of a blunt response that will further deepen our insecurity.

Yes, you might receive that 'NO' infrequently. Conversely, you will frequently receive an unexpected 'YES'. In addition, the NO will not be blunt and yelled at you by your boss. Most of the time it will be couched comfortably in "let me think about it" or "not now", rather than a hurtful NO. We are so afraid of NO's (probably from childhood) that we are afraid of being direct.

We don't know what we really want.

A lot of people fall into this category. When something is really important, we tend to 'complexify' our need and flub our request. Successful people keep their requests super-simple and direct. Don't dance around the subject, don't parry and feint with your verbiage — just ask. One way to do this is to write down exactly what you need, hone the message, and then ask.

You don't really believe you will receive what you are asking for (limiting beliefs).

I run into this all the time with clients who want a promotion/raise or business owners who need to increase their fees. Many people have self-imposed, limiting beliefs which directly impact their ability to move up the corporate or business ladder. In the end, they are deceiving themselves — I actually had one client double their fee and their patients happily paid it. You just have to ask. Practice makes perfect — try to push yourself to ask for simpler things from strangers — to look at their newspaper, borrow their cellphone, etc. You will find they will happily share and you will build your confidence.

You don't feel you have to ask — people should instantly realize your needs.

This also circles around raises and promotions. A lot of people think they all have a guardian angel protecting them at work who will accurately track their progress and reward them when it's time. That's BS. Even the best managers forget to track their best performers and are always reticent to provide increases. You have to ask for them — because the only person caring about your needs is YOU.

You don't know HOW to ask.

I left the best one for last. There are a lot of people who just don't know how to get what they need because they've never done it. From the reasons above, this is how you do it — write exactly what you want down on paper, simply it, practice your request, find the best time to catch the person your asking, be direct and to the point, and then shut up. Let them respond — don't add anything else by prevaricating.

You will either receive a YES or a NO. It's that simple.

Top 10 Clear Signs It's Time To Quit Your Job.

Here's my Top 10 (in no real order of importance) list why you should probably quit your current position and move on:

1. You start looking forward to the weekend on Wednesday (or even worse, Monday). This is the typical, "I can't stand my job and I love my weekends behavior". Face it, you are going to spend a LOT more time at work during the week — start enjoying that environment too. If you don't like what you do, your boss, the people, the commute, etc. — change it.

2. Sunday night is the loneliest time of the week because you have work the next day. If you hate going to work where it begins to affect your weekends, it's time to start looking for greener pastures.

3. You find yourself mired in mundane tasks at work - you're not working on exciting and challenging projects. It happens to the best of us — sometimes we need a career 'reset' button to help us re-focus on what's really important and where we want to take our career.

4. Everything is becoming SOS - same old stuff - day in, day out repetition. If you're just wrapping the same old chocolates every day — it's time to go.

5. You never ask for guidance or advice anymore from your boss. You've grown out of your role. This is a telling sign — you've outgrown your manager. They don't have anything else to teach you — and to be successful, you have to keep learning.

6. Everyone around you is as unmotivated and depressed as you are. Oh-Oh — either management is not doing their job or the company is ailing. Time to look for healthier stock.

7. Your superiors begin to take long lunches and start to leave the company. They know something you don't know. That's a clear sign you're about to be acquired, broken into small chunks, or obliterated into the atmosphere. Start planning your exit strategy.

8. Sales are down, the company hasn't rolled out anything new in the marketplace for a long time, and your competitors are hitting new heights. Things might turn around, but then, they might not. It's up to you if you have the time, temerity and patience to wait.

9. You can't get anything accomplished, projects are never approved (or cancelled mid-term), or your division is distracted by crazy hail-mary launches that never work. That is one of the most frustrating parts of corporate work — the lost years — the lost projects — and eventually, the lost people. If you find you're giving 150% to all of your work and for some reason, they're cancelled, postponed, or put on the shelf, it's time to step back and assess. Not only does it suck, but it cuts right to the bone of any performing professional to see your blood, sweat and tears wiped away in a matter of minutes. Time to go.

10. Things don't feel right - your salary has been stagnant for years, bonuses are anemic, and you find yourself surfing a lot on the web. Any one of these three are a clear indicator of a bad work situation. If you get more than one, start polishing your résumé.

Extra-Credit: Upper management employs a 'consultancy firm' to help them turn the ship in the right direction - always a clear signal something's wrong.

Most consultancy firms are brought in when management is either disconnected from the business or they are unable to develop a new business solution on their own. In my opinion, these consultancies are usually a band-aid for a more severe problem — they're brought in to calm the fears of investors and show Wall Street that the company is on-track to hit their fake targets.

In any event, there will be changes. Either The Bob's (watch this scene from Office Space) will come in and assess everyone's responsibilities and/or they will make broad spectrum changes that will probably impact your progress. Time to review your options and think about leaving.

How To Get Everyone To Return Your Calls.

You’re not going to believe this, but I hate the phone. You would think as a coach and someone who runs a highly successful business, being on the phone all day would be fun, exciting, and powerful. It is for coaching — I get energized! It is for colleagues, friends, and family — we can talk for hours.

It’s when I have to either cold call or play the dreaded phone-tag. That’s when I want to throw my phone out the window. Why?

Because most people don’t return calls. And if they do, they pick a time when it’s impossible for you to answer them (I think they strategically pick these times).

Let me give you a scenario that happens to me infrequently:

I get a prospect that has either heard me speak, read my articles, or has heard from a powerful friend about how I changed their lives with my coaching.

They call me up for a complimentary session, we have it, they love it, and will get back to me within 24 hours to let me know. Then they fall off the map. I try to call them and follow up leaving voicemails, email, etc.

No response.

Then one day, I was at my sales team meeting and a close colleague of mine gave me the secret to virtually compel people to call you back. And it works like a charm.

I send a short, simply worded email and end with three choices. Here’s what I write:

Dear Ryan Reynolds,

I really enjoyed our coaching session a few weeks ago. It’s rare when someone comes to me with clear business issues and the energy to deal with them. Kudos!

Near the end of our session, you were excited about coaching with me, but you said that you had to think about it and get back to me the next day. Over the past few weeks, I’ve endeavored to reach out to you via phone and email since I am holding a March coaching spot open for you.

There must be one of three reasons why we are not connecting:

1. You are no longer interested in coaching with me.

2. I have offended you in some way during our coaching session or through my messages.

3. You’re too busy with work to get back to me.

I await your response. Regards – Rich 

Within one business day, the prospect calls me at my office, guaranteed. It happens every time.

They always start out with, “You haven’t offended me in any way — I’ve just been so busy with work lately . . .”. I always listen, agree, and in the end, they become my client.

Try it — it works!

What techniques do you employ to get people to call you back?

What's Holding You Back? You Are.

I start all workshops and coaching relationships with the discussion of Limiting Beliefs. Why? In life, we run into so many external obstacles. People, institutions, rules, regulations, and hierarchies all play major roles in our life. They get in our way, they make us stumble, we get frustrated, and we give up. They win.

The more insidious of life's obstacles are your internal obstacles. I've broken them down into manageable chunks to allow you to understand them and to hopefully assess and ameliorate each one. When I think of limiting beliefs in my life, I call them life's 'Little Stinkers'. Here they are:

What We've Learned

These are the 'hard-wired' internal obstacles that are drilled into us from an early age. 'Don't do this' and 'you can't do that' play a major part in our learning process. We might have parents, siblings, teachers, and other adults in our life telling us what is right and wrong. Not that it's a bad thing — it's important to do — but sometimes they say certain things that are seared in our personality.

Examples: "They're out of your league" "No one can get an A in that class" "You're not artistic" "You can't sing"

What We've Experienced

These are the myriad of personal experiences when we've tried to step out of our bubble and try new things. And they don't go well. We try something new once or take a big step out of our comfort zone and fail. We revert back to a safe spot and constantly repeat to ourselves that we shouldn't go there — it's a waste of time.

Examples: "We shouldn't go there" "We can't do it" "It's not in our DNA" "I'd be happier staying the same"

What We Think/Fear

This is the third level of limiting beliefs. Take what we've learned and what we've experienced, mix them together, and you end up here. These are all the limiting beliefs we have in our head and we project them all into the future. We mentally scare and hold ourselves back from learning new things, experiencing new practices, and meeting new people.

Examples: "If I do it, I will fail" "This will be a futile exercise" "They won't like me" "They will laugh at me" "I will lose a lot of money"

What We Dodge

This is the lazy limiting belief. We get stuck or complacent in our limiting belief world and feel this is all I need to do. We take the other three limiting beliefs and let our procrastination, laziness, and distractions kick in to hold us back.

Examples: "This has worked all my life" "It's good enough" "My job is fine" (I hate the word fine) "I don't have the time"

Conclusion

If you let these limiting beliefs win, you will NEVER get the opportunity to change your life, your situation, your work, your abilities, your friendships, and possibly increase your happiness. I find if you just stay static in your life and career, you won't be happy for long. So start looking in the mirror and start eliminating those internal obstacles!

Deliver Life-Changing Presentations Every Time.

Some people love to give presentations. Some people hate it. Most people fall somewhere in between these two points on the presentation spectrum.

What outcome do you want from your presentation? A decision? Enthusiasm for a idea? A sale? A way to present bad numbers so they look good?

I've given thousands of presentations — from a small status update for my division, or an 850+ audience at The Hartford Insurance Company, all the way to major sales presentations to McDonald's and Home Depot.

It could be a myriad of things — but all great presentations have a few critical areas where they excel — Purpose, Resonance, Enthusiasm, Experience, Narrative. Let's look at each one and how it impacts your presentation:

Purpose - Why are we here?

I can't tell you how many presentations I've been to where two minutes into the presenter speaking, I'm already lost. They've given me no semblance of what they will be covering and some basic guideposts to gauge where we are in the presentation.

How to fix: One of your first slides should cover a brief summary of what you will be speaking about and what you expect from the presentation. Something as simple as: "Today, I will be covering why we should begin to move all of our executives onto iPads. I'm going to cover the current state, impact, and desired state of our mobile systems." It's that easy.

Resonance - Win your audience.

You are not reading out test scores — you're trying to sway your audience to feel for your position. So empathy and communication play large parts in how you give and relate your presentation to your audience. One definition of resonance is 'a quality of evoking a response'. Your job is to feel for your audience — understand how they are absorbing the information you're presenting.

How to fix: Keep scanning the audience — watch body language — see if they are engaged or distracted or puzzled. If they are checking out — get them involved — ask questions of the audience. Ask for their opinion and get them to raise their hands. Also, move around — engage all parts of your audience — get down to their level. Ask 'WHO' questions — "Who has this problem?" "Who would like to go first?". Ask 'WHY' questions — "Why do you think this is happening?" "Why did he react that way?"

Enthusiasm - Rally the troops.

Here's a little secret: All presentations are 90% Broadway. They're performances. Why? The more your audience is emotionally engaged in your presentation, the more likely they are to like it, take away key information, and tell others about it. If you just stand there and recite slides, they're going to check out, miss key information, and tell everyone you stunk.

How to fix: You are an evangelist of information. Live and breathe your info — get them excited about it too! Smile, raise and lower the tonality of your voice, and move your hands to make points. If you aren't excited about what you're speaking about, who will be?

Experience - Show them your stuff.

You need to know your topic. Many speakers get up and immediately venture down unchartered territory. When one errant question arises, they sudden fall silent or stumble with an answer. You have to know your topic cold.

How to fix: Keep your presentation on point — less is more. Stick to your topic and hammer all points of it — be prepared — anticipate most of the questions that will be asked. If you don't know something — say it: "Wow, that's a good question. I don't know, but I can find out. Let's talk after the presentation." It's that easy.

Narrative - Tell them a story.

Just spilling out facts will not help you with the other four areas. You have to relate stories - people LOVE stories.

How to fix: Tell stories. I usually incorporate at least 1-2 stories during a presentation. Make sure they stay on topic, are interesting or funny, and can be told in less than two minutes. Pick a situation in your career, someone who made a positive impact on you, or an item you found in your research. One caveat — too many stories about you will bore the audience.

P.S. If you’d like more information about how I deliver powerful presentations - Let’s talk. I’ve worked with thousands of business owners and executives and find this is a perfect way to start a coaching relationship — sign up to schedule a live, free coaching session. It's not just the mechanics — it's building confidence and knowing you can knock it out of the park.

The Best Time To Find A New Job Is When You Don't Need It.

In other words — Always be prepared to leave a job, because your employer is always prepared to leave you. More and more, many companies (not all, mind you) find themselves letting employees go for a number of different reasons. Too young/too old, too much/too little salary, old/new employee, old/new direction, high/low level position are just some of the myriad reasons why people are let go from their place of employment. Sometimes we find ourselves in the crosshairs and next thing you know, you're packing up your desk in a cardboard box.

"About six months ago i was offered a job from a supplier to my company, but I felt decently happy and comfortable working where I was. To my surprise I was laid off from work last week, and am now looking for a job."

You need to be prepared — here are the big six things I tell my happily employed clients to shield them from layoffs:

1. Keep your résumé/LinkedIn profile current and ready to go at a moment's notice.

2. Ask for testimonials when you finish projects/leave divisions/manager's move.

3. Embrace recruiters and interview — you never know what great position you might run into.

4. Develop a robust emergency nest egg (just in case).

5. Build your network — maintain past relationships and grow new ones with key people in your industry.

6. Most important — keep your skills current and focus on in-demand areas.

I hate to say this — the idea of living through a career with the same company seems to be long, long gone. Most people should expect to move at least every 2-3 years. If you don't, your employers will.

In addition, rarely will you experience major jumps in position/salary/benefits at the same organization. Most people experience larger percentage jumps when they move when they still have a job (check out this Forbes article). Waiting for a company to can you to get that severance package is a frequent strategy (especially if it's a big package), but your value in the marketplace is severely reduced.

By the way . . . if you're thinking, "I'm irreplaceable, they can't function without what I know" then you're underestimating an organization's willingness to protect themselves and make haphazard decisions based on human greed and emotions.

Day One on your new job is the first day of your new job search. Never stop looking for better. The minute your current employer doesn't need you, your butt will be out the door. Again, this perspective is not for all organizations, but it does cover the majority out there.

P.S. One final rule — Always backup key email, contacts, and project files (just in case). Most people forget how important this information is until they don't let you go back to your computer and walk you out of the building. So much of your potential portfolio when you're looking for a new job will be gone if you don't save it somehow. Be prepared and always back up to a personal thumb or external hard drive.

Don't Small Talk, Have Courageous Conversations.

Why do people hate networking events? Usually it's full of people who are all talking small. "How's business?" " There's a lot of people here." "How's the food?" "That's a great tie."

Shoot me now. We all hate these events - executives, vendors, and business owners alike. Unfortunately, we've been told that we have to go to them to grow our business. And they're right.

You have to regularly break out of your bubble and meet new people. Interact and market your product/service to get traction.

But how many events have you attended early in the morning or late into the evening that just sucked? Tons.

I have a technique to make them Powerful, Engaging, & Fun. Here are some of the things I do to dump the small talk and have courageous conversations:

1. Take An Avid Interest In The Person You're Speaking To. 

Most of the time, people are only thinking of themselves. In fact, many people closely listen to what you're saying only to anticipate a pause so they can talk.

Take the time to LISTEN to what the other person is saying and frequently add energizing sounds and body language to keep them going.

Paraphrase what they just said and insert a follow-up question to dig deeper into what they are commenting on.

2. Act Like A Host.

What do hosts do? They make their guests feel comfortable, at home, start fun conversations, and selflessly connect people together to build a strong networking circle of professionals.

What's wrong with acting like a host (even if you aren't the host) and helping your fellow attendees accomplish all of these goals?

I love to walk up to a group and ask everyone how they like the wine/food/room — they always positively comment and immediately invite me into their conversation. Try it.

3. Talk About Scary Subjects.

Instead of the weather, think of assertive, strong questions to get people out of their shell. Some I've used:

"So, what's your big project for 2017? How's it going so far?" "What new things are you trying to launch?" "Favorite super-power: Flying or X-Ray Vision?" (I love this one - ask me how it works) "Did you hire anyone new this year? What was the one quality that shined for you?" "What client do you absolutely despise? Why? Why don't you fire them?" "What's the scariest thing you've done in the past few years?"

Now understand, some of these work with new acquaintances — some will only work with friends or when you've conversed for a certain amount of time.

4. Open Up.

Once you've made an initial connection, try to open up and talk about serious topics. Once you get to know the, let them know that you just lost a client or that the product you just launched isn't doing that great (as an example). Being honest and authentic is so much better than fake and boring.

5. It Not All About YOU.

Don't go there only looking for business. In fact, frame your perspective around helping others. "I am going to try to connect everyone I meet to someone I know to help them build their business/career."

Givers Gain — make sure to try to help everyone (okay - not everyone - there are some lost causes in every bunch).

If you try just one of these — you will transform your typical, boring networking event into an exciting and memorable soirée. Be Courageous!

The Three Most Important Words For 2019.

Already hitting small obstacles in 2019? You started out so well and now, for some reason, you seem to be hitting the same wall that you always encounter when you try to make an upward move in your career.

Let’s talk "VCP". It's an old BNI acronym for the words: VISIBILITY & CREDIBILITY = PROFITABILITY. Simply, if you are more visible to the people that matter, you then have an opportunity to show your credibility. And if you succeed in convincing them about your credibility, you then access profitability, or the ability to grow your business.

This simple acronym can easily be applied to executives in corporate or business owners trying to grow their business. We get caught in our career — DOING our business — but forgetting to GROW our business. We forget the simplicity of VCP. For example:

VISIBILITY — When was the last time you stepped out and networked aggressively outside of your contact sphere?

If you're an executive:

• When was the last time you went to lunch with a key player outside of your group? Do you do it every week? You should.

• When did you reach out to your peers in your industry (outside of your company) to have lunch?

• When did you reach out to leaders in your community (not industry) to have coffee/lunch?

• When was the last time you spoke at an industry meeting? Went to an industry meeting?

If you own a business:

• Get out and meet people. Your office neighbors, colleagues in your industry.

• Join a networking group. Make it a regular event.

• Use signage, brochures, blog, guest speak at client events. Be a billboard for your business.

CREDIBILITY — 

• Do what you say you're going to do. This is a major dysfunction of many executives and businesses. They say YES to too many things, they over-promise (people pleasers) and under-deliver.

• Over-Deliver. Always add something special and extra to every client deliverable. Surprise them!

• Ask past clients and managers to talk you up (i.e., on LinkedIn recommendations).

• Build up a history of knocking it out of the park. Be assertive, be bold!

If you start with VISIBILITY and add CREDIBILITY, you will quickly encounter PROFITABILITY.

• Businesses will begin to get more clients, better clients, bigger clients.

• Executives will begin to get the better projects, more exposure, promotions and more money.

VISIBILITY & CREDIBILITY = PROFITABILITY. Make it Happen in 2019!

If 2019 Was The Best Year Of Your Life, What Would Have To Happen?

Take a moment and imagine it's December 31, 2019. You're sitting back in your comfy leather chair, reading your favorite book, by the fireplace sipping hot chocolate. MMMMM. Looking back over the past 365 days — you realize you had a great year. An amazing, incredible, unbelievable year.

Step One — What would make it an amazing year professionally? A promotion/raise? A huge uptick in business/clients? A new job? What would make it an amazing year personally? Travel to exotic lands? More time with the family? More time with friends? Trying out a new pastime or hobby?

I want you to take a piece of paper and write down your amazing year. What would happen? It doesn't have to be a literary classic — just use bullet points. Your focus should be on speed — get your thoughts down on paper ASAP. Then hone it down to a single mission sentence. "I will be SVP of Operations and increase my salary by 15%" or "I will launch a new line of products and increase my client base by 20%". Maybe "I will learn the piano and take my family to Hawaii."

Step Two — What do you need to do to get there? What steps do you need to take? What actions/activities/tasks? Who can help you? Map out each step you need to take to reach your vision. If you're especially motivated, add timing and deadlines to each task. This isn't the hard/scary part — you know how to get there.

Here's the scary part — to realize 'Your Best Year Ever', you will have to really push yourself. You will have to build your confidence up and combat procrastination and fear. You will be doing things you've never done before, meet people you've never believed you'd meet, and reach new heights never before imagined. You will have to work harder and smarter to realize your dream.

To do this you need Goals (step 1) and a Roadmap (step 2). But you have to keep your eye on the prize to help you modify your behaviors and talents to deliver 'Your Best Year Ever'. Put your goal on a Post-It note and post it on your mirror to see every morning. Reinforcement is key when it comes to goals — it needs to stare you in the face every day.

This isn't rocket science. Many years ago, when Elon Musk sold Zip2, X.com and PayPal, his vision was to change the world and humanity. His goals included reducing global warming through sustainable energy production and consumption, reducing the "risk of human extinction" by "making life multiplanetary" by setting up a human colony on Mars. I think he's on his way with Solar City, Tesla, and SpaceX.

You can do it too. I know you can. Oh yes, by the way, Happy New Year!

I'm So Busy!

Lately, I run into many people who constantly have the same refrain:

“I’m so busy!” or “It's crazy here!” or “I never have the time.” Or my favorite, “I’m so stressed!”

I hate to be critical (as a coach, it’s my job) - but it tells me a lot about you, your personality, and your work habits:

1. You don’t have control of your time or schedule.

People who run around like a chicken without its head tend not to instill confidence with their superiors, peers, team, or customers. What you are telegraphing is that you don’t have control of your schedule and activities. That tells me you’re spending disproportionate blocks of time on the wrong items (not urgent or important) and rushing through areas that are urgent and important.

2. You like to complain and invite people to your pity party.

I hate people like you. Like old people who complain constantly about their maladies, I (and all the people around you) really don’t care about your simple-to-solve issues. Stop using these excuses to complain about things that are happening TO you. Start taking responsibility and change your life by paying more attention to your schedule and priorititizing your activities.

3. You have bad work habits and don’t know how to streamline, delegate or retire duities.

And you’re never going to get a promotion. Too often, when my staff kept complaining about their duties, it told me that they aren’t frequently looking at their workload and streamlining tasks, delegating to their staff (or using technology), or the easiest, stop doing unimportant or lower-echelon activities.

Normally, I have tips after each area to help you stop doing bad things and start doing good things. This week I have one piece of advice: “Stop it.”

That’s it. Try to control you bad behaviors — stop complaining, start focusing on the urgent and important, and start streamlining/delegating/retiring secondary duties.

IF YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE — sign up for a free coaching session with Rich.

Hate Your Job? NOW Is The Time To Start Looking.

Most people make the mistake of riding out November and December to begin looking for a new job in January. Why should you start now?

1. Everyone will be looking for a job in January. The job-search population explodes and you'll be competing with 2x/3x more candidates.

2. You need time to prepare. You need to lock down your search strategy/direction, targets, resume, LinkedIn profile, interview skills, and negotiation strategy before you jump out into the marketplace. Recruiters, Hiring Managers, and HR Personnel will eat you for lunch if you're weak in any of these areas.

3. People are still hiring now (contrary to popular belief). In fact, two of my clients got jobs this week. With the exception of the week between Christmas and New Year's, companies are still trying to run out the clock and spend their budget dollars on building their team. Especially successful, growing companies.

Finally, they will try to 'wing it' on their own and usually fail, step back, and soldier on at their current job (that they hate). When people hire a true career coach to help them, their coach delivers a solid process/strategy to break through the noise, helps them make time for finding the right new position while keeping their current role, and keep them sane during this frustrating process.

The Two Powerful Forces Of Achievement.

I attended a great talk the other night at Yale - the presenter brought up two major forces nature throws at us regularly - Resilience & Propulsion. It immediately hit me that these are the two forces that make businesses great.

1. Resilience - the ability to encounter insurmountable problems, assess the damage, and recover quickly.

2. Propulsion - the ability to generate organizational momentum to quickly move your business forward into new areas.

What was the last problem/obstacle that you encountered? How did you deal with it? How did it affect you/your business?

How do you fire all boosters for your business? What key actions can move it forward into new areas? What do you have to do?

Time to bounce back and rocket your business and career forward.

New Job? Five Mistakes We All Make.

When you start a new job, everything is just hunky-dunky. You're in a new office, new boss, new responsibilities, new friends, and hopefully, more money and increased responsibility. Many people expect their boss and company culture will bring them along (like orientation at college) and help them integrate well into the inner workings of their new organization. Not so fast.

Sometimes it actually happens — most of the time, it doesn't. And who's to blame if something goes awry? YOU.

So I've listed five major mistakes that new employees make when they first start a new job.

1. They expect everyone to be nice and 'on their side'.

There are 3 types of people you meet on the job:

1. Helpers - people who will help you learn the ropes and work with you.

2. Walking Dead - lifeless people who go about their day; get in the way with complaints/regulations.

3. Threats - people who actively regard you as a threat; major impediment; try to trip you up.

Stick with the Helpers, disregard the Walking Dead, and keep your eye on the Threats.

2. Your boss will love you forever.

You need to prove yourself to your boss before the initial work honeymoon ends. They usually give you a few weeks to get up to speed and then they want to start seeing results.

Look at it as a good-will savings account. When you're hired, you have a small positive balance. But any mistake, deficiency, or screw-up deducts from your account. Your job is to blast out of the starting gate, make some quick wins, and fill up your new savings account with good-will currency.

3. You can work as hard as you did at your last job.

You have to kick it up a notch at your new job. Come in early, stay late, and attack any project/task with increased vigor.

You are on stage right now and many people are silently grading you. Good first impressions are hard to develop, but bad ones are easy to deliver. Constantly task yourself to deliver more, add quality, and help others.

4. Communication will work perfectly.

When people move to a new job, communication structures are usually completely different from their past gigs. And this is where new hires slip up . . . badly. You need to:

• Establish clear communication structures with your boss and staff. Schedule regular status meetings with clear agendas.

• Listen the first few days/weeks at meetings. Get a good feel for how things are done before jumping in with a 'great idea'.

5. Your expectations of success will align with your boss' expectations perfectly.

No, they won't. And this is why so many people are let go in the first 90 days on the job. You need to be crystal clear with your boss about your responsibilities and deliverables. So do this:

• Develop a 30/60/90 day action plan with your boss. Work with them the first few days to clearly delineate your role, responsibilities, activities, deliverables, and most importantly -- deadlines.

• Meet each week and track your progress with your action plan. Check off your completed tasks and ask for help with those problem children activities.

• At the end of 90 days, you and your boss should be ecstatic about your progress since you've been delivering what they asked for. If they aren't, they're bat-shit crazy and it's time to move on.

This is a great tool to keep you and your boss on the same page and ensure there are no surprises that might derail your career.

The 3 Pillars Of Success.

Just got back from a workshop in NYC for a large group of executives (145+ attendees). They enjoyed my talk (rating me 4.83 out of a possible 5.0 on my evaluation form), but they REALLY enjoyed the Q&A portion at the end. I thought I'd share the best question and my answer:

"How do we keep moving forward and not get caught up in the day-to-day malaise of emails and meetings?"

I said, "This might sound super-simple and you might know it, but there's a great way to look at each day and measure how you moved the big ball forward. I call it the three business 'pillars of success'."

ACTION

First, you have to take action — any action, to move FORWARD. Most people are scared to make a decision, pick a direction, or commit to a plan. They get caught in analysis-paralysis and get stuck over analyzing the problem/challenge and not moving forward. Sometimes they are afraid of making the wrong decision or fearful of commitment to a strategy that rubs against the corporate grain.

Solution: Just do it. Pull the trigger. Any action (even the wrong one) is better than no action. Especially if you are ready to go but are ambivalent that you might have forgotten something. Pick up the saw and start sawing.

If you're afraid of screwing up - don't worry. Making a decision and taking action usually isn't a death sentence. You can always stop, correct, and re-engage. Remember — this is the hardest part — pull the trigger and start the process.

PERFORMANCE

Once you take action, you need to push forward and see it through. Don't take a half-step and put your toe in the water — dive in. Push yourself to keep the momentum going. One single action just won't do it — you need to follow it up with consistent and powerful performance to ensure success.

Solution: Make a plan. Segment out all of your activities, tasks, and steps ahead of time. Once you see the big picture and all the discrete elements, it will make whatever you do that much easier and less stressful (and scary).

There will be a bump somewhere in the middle (usually a person) — something or someone to set you off your game. If it happens, expect it, and move around it ASAP to ensure that it doesn't disrupt all of your momentum.

RESULTS

Most people forget about this one. You have to deliver results to produce a successful project, product, or initiative. These are tangible deliverables that not only encourage you to move forward, but allay the fears of management that you're doing the right thing.

Solution: Don't go for the big bang at the end. Plan for and deliver small incremental results that will not only motivate you and your team, but also get the attention of management. Show them that slow and steady positive results win the day — this stops you from over-promising and under-delivering.

That's it. If you consistently look at everything you do with an Action/Performance/Results lens, you'll find you get a lot more important stuff done faster. Leave the emails and meetings to some other poor performer.

Trouble Strikes When You Get Comfortable.

To be successful in business  — you need to keep this simple phrase front and center: "Never let a person who is more successful than you work harder than you." In other words, trouble tends to strike when people get comfortable. Many people become so comfortable with what they already have that they feel no need to extend effort any further. For example:

• Tom is a big fan of Susan. Susan makes $10,000 a month.

• Tom only makes $1000 per month.

• Tom wishes he could be like Susan and studies her lifestyle but takes things very slowly.

• Susan however, even though she makes $10,000 a month, she still runs her multiple sources of income, grinds her ass off. Works stupidly hard to make sure her money keeps growing.

You should never let a person who is more successful than you work harder than you. If you ever want your position in life to change, you need to work harder than the person who you admire. It's that simple.

BTW - working harder also encompasses working smarter. Dull, high-effort work rarely delivers results — you need to add smarts, insight, and focus to the equation.

Talk to ANY successful businessperson or high-level executive and you usually find someone that consistently knocks it out of the park every day. They come to work early, are prepared for every meeting, they engage high-level contacts, and they tend to hone their focus on high-potential activities. They don't ever goof off.

Once you get comfortable, you take your eye slightly off the prize. You come to work a bit later, you wing meetings, you neglect to connect with key people, and you work on mundane tasks. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

Who will you be today?

All Great Employees Have This Secret Ingredient.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Many of my clients complain about the work habits of their employees and how they're light-years away from a competent and conscientious worker.

It has to do with their past work histories. And I think I've solved that problem.

To be a good employee who is valued and moves up accordingly in the organization — one has to have worked at a number of similar vocations to build valuable abilities. I've honed the list down to four areas:

Farmhand

You need to work on a farm or construction site. You must experience hard work for eight hours, outside in nature's elements, and get really dirty during the process. It teaches you the value of hard work while strengthening your muscles and pushing the limits of what you can really do.

Most workers pucker-out before they hit 50% — on a farm or construction site, you will push yourself with work that will make you hit 100% of effort every day.

Retail

Customer service is key — being able to smile and help people who are being snotty, demanding, or obnoxious is a talent only trained in retail. It's a lot easier than a farmhand, but you have to gird yourself to handle multiple customers at once, keep the store clean and well-stocked, and hit your numbers every day.

Working under florescent lights is tiresome after 8-10 hours, but retail work will teach you everything you need to know about customer service, working under pressure, bad bosses, horrendous customers, and boring environments.

Sports

Teamwork is not something you're born with, you have to learn it on-the-job. Participation in a sport, especially a team sport, teaches you to rely on your friends and step-up/push yourself when things get tough.

It's this can-do environment you absorb — the ability to push past the pain and not be afraid of losing.

Camp Counselor

Being comfortable speaking in front of groups and convincing people do do things is key in business. One of the best ways to excel is to be a camp counselor or tour guide to teach you the basics and to repeatedly get you communicating to a group of people.

With speaking, you learn by doing and you get better with practice. In addition, you have to use your persuasion skills to guide people to your way of thinking.

This list isn't perfect — I'd love to hear from you if you have any additions, modifications, or comments on this list.

Structure Your Thinking To Deliver Results.

Too often, people tend to solve problems by taking two divergent directions:

1. They think of an idea — and zip off in that direction with no real assessment or planning. Measure once, cut twice.

2. They over-analyze their problem to death without taking action. Analysis-Paralysis.

The hardest part of any initiative or project is usually getting everyone on-board - mentally and physically. You need the go-ahead and the willing resources to make it happen.

Here's a simple way of presenting your case - not only to yourself to fully analyze each permutation, but to convince all parties that you're on the right track. I learned this method over 20 years ago during my Six Sigma/QAT training at ADVO. So here goes:

1. Start by defining the Current State. What is the current situation right now? What's been happening? Use metrics to clearly define the situation and make it real for all involved.

2. Then illustrate the Impact of the Current State if nothing is done. What is the eventual outcome of doing nothing? How much money, time, and resources will be wasted?

3. Hit them with the Desired State. Show yourself and your audience what nirvana is. Show them the money, the time savings, and piles of gold that would rain down from the heavens.

4. Finally, present your Solution (or solutions). Once you've defined the problem, shown them the promised land, show them how your solution will solve all of your current state problems and quickly deliver your desired state.

What are you really doing here? You're telling them a story — and people LOVE stories. It's simple, straightforward, and based on facts.

You see, the hardest job anyone will every have in business is convincing people over to their way of thinking. Why? Because emotions, fear, and ego get in the way.

Using this method, you slowly and factually take them through your thinking and getting them to nod their heads "Yes" during the entire process. By the time you present your solution, they have fully bought into your presentation.

P.S. Hope you like. BTW - this type of presentation also works well with sales — in-person and even on your website. Show them the current state, the impact of doing the same thing, then illustrate the desired state and deliver your solution. It's simple, easy and works every time.

High-Potential Relationships Are The Real Currency Of Business.

It's not only what you know. It's who you know. And more importantly, who knows you. Too often, when I first start coaching high-performing executives, they wonder why they are not moving up as fast as their colleagues.

They observe key influencers in their organization, but they don't reach out and engage them. They might even be in meetings with these influencers, they might even talk to them — but when the meeting is over, they're a past memory.

It's frustrating. They work hard and they deliver the goods every day — but for some reason, they are not invited to the inner circle. The worst part? Colleagues who rarely do anything of substance, have express access to the inner circle. It's so unfair.

So how do you break into the inner circles of business? How do you get key influencers to notice you, respect you, and invite you to their table? It comes down to three simple and effective steps:

1. Be Visible.

Don't hide in the shadows and don't lurk in the corners of the room. Sit your butt right down next to them (if possible) and introduce yourself. Ask questions during the meeting — don't feel as if you can't. Make the question powerful and allow informative branching to other opportunities. Take notes, sit up, and pay attention to everything going on around you. Show them your best.

2. Be Assertive.

Make your presence know — talk to them about what they CARE about. Show them you know all about it and you have a few ideas on how you can solve their problem. Tell them about your accomplishments — BRAG — don't hold back. Be proud of your track record and let them know about it.

3. Be Persistent.

At the end of the meeting, try to engage them and see if they'd like to catch lunch or coffee so you can talk more. Try to bump into them in the hallway and introduce yourself again. No one ever hates enthusiasm. If you go about it in the right way and are empathetic of their feelings, you can easily make this a win-win for all concerned.

These techniques might seem scary at first — but if you do them in the right order — magic will happen. If you are still wary, you might need a coach.

P.S. Many years ago, I was hired at a company to launch a new site and product. My first day, my new boss and I were walking to a meeting with the development staff and we were passing the new CMO (who was also hired a few weeks before). We all stopped and my boss introduced me to the new CMO. Many people would have shaken hands, engaged in 30 seconds of small-talk, and moved on. I took the opportunity to inquire about the CMO's first few weeks and then I asked him if I could run the initial site layouts to get his feedback. He was pleased to be involved and asked his assistant to set up a meeting. From that point on, we were great friends and we worked closely on a number of projects. It's that easy.

How Is Your Self-Esteem? It's Critical.

If one were to ask what single characteristic that makes you attractive to others, it would be self-esteem. Self-esteem, as defined by Nathaniel Branden in "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem," is the reputation one has with him or herself. The criteria which we unconsciously judge ourselves and which makeup our self-esteem is two fold:

1. The first is self efficacy, which is our perceived ability to deal with the basic requirements of life; i.e., competence.

2. The second is self respect, which is the degree to which we feel deserving of happiness, receiving the rewards of our efforts and how steadfast we are in defending our boundaries.

Branden gives us six basic pillars, which if worked on with sufficient effort will increase one's self-esteem. These are:

1. The practice of living consciously

2. The practice of self acceptance

3. The practice of self responsibility

4. The practice of self assertiveness

5. The practice of living purposefully

6. The practice of personal integrity

While I won't break down each of these in detail, when I work with clients, I preach many of these pillars in one way or another.

Branden explains that even the smallest improvements in any one of these pillars can lead to massive shifts on one's overall self-esteem.

Improvements happen in two steps. The first is asking, what do I want? And the second asks, what must I do? First, the conceptualization, then the execution.

It is with the execution step that one receives the reward of a boost in self-esteem. It isn't necessarily the successful execution of the action step, but an honest, committed attempt.

For example, if you have approach anxiety and you finally work up the courage to ask for a promotion or meet a high-potential contact, the reward received is substantial.

This execution, essentially imprinted your subconscious saying that you are willing to put yourself in harm's way in order to experience what you want, because you believe you are worthy of that experience. This is the basis for courage. This is why blasting through your fears can become an addiction for some people. The boost in dopamine and serotonin is very real, and feels amazing.

I highly recommend giving this book a read. It has been an essential tool in developing my own assertiveness and raising my overall sense of worthiness influencing my past career, my current practice and everything in between.

Six Secrets My Clients Know For 2018.

The new year is a time of inspiration and new beginnings. Here are some proven methods to make 2018 your best year ever — these are the tenets I share with my clients to help them knock it out of the park every month.

1. Decide to be successful. That’s the first step — most people are afraid of success, not failure. They feel that their lives will change drastically and become unmanageable. They want to stay in control, live the same small life, and worry about money all the time. If you face and conquer your fear of success (and failure) daily, you will see your career and life grow exponentially.

2. Leave the pity party. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and guilty about what you haven't done. It's a new year — take advantage of the freshness of January and work with a clean slate. Too often, we tend to live in a self-imposed pity party where we replay all of our faults, our mistakes, and the bad situations on a loop in our heads. It's time to stop and move forward — don't be that guest who never leaves the party.

3. Make it your duty. This is YOUR life and it's YOUR responsibility to make things better every day. It's YOUR duty to find ways to stay on track and focus on what will make you, your career, and your business better in 2018. Stop blaming or waiting for other people to do it for you. Stop being a baby — no excuses, make it happen.

4. Hang around better tennis players. To get better, you need to hang around people who play the game better than you do. Why? First, they will inspire you to push yourself to new heights — to run faster, jump higher, and perform at a higher level. In addition, better players will teach you better, faster and smarter ways to do things — to streamline your actions for better performance.

5. Work hard. Work smart. I can't say this enough. No one (and I repeat, no one) ever got to where they are by goofing off. By taking their time, moving at a snail's pace, or relaxing during work hours. Every successful person has put in blood, sweat, and tears to get where they are — they work and play hard to get to the levels you only dream about. If you're not putting in at least 40 hours each week, you're never going to get where you want to be.

6. Develop cash-flow opportunities & additional income channels. How can you make more money for the same amount of work? How can you capitalize on your performance and add additional value to what you deliver? Step back and think about what you do every day and see how you can increase it, package it, and disseminate it to get more bang for your buck. What other services or products can you deliver?

I know these six tenets will help you make 2018 your best year ever! If you need an accountability partner, try a complimentary session with me.