How Not To Run Your Business.

Borders is filing for bankruptcy protection and closing 1/3 of their stores. This post is near and dear to me because I used to work for the Reader's Market/Waldenbooks/Borders chain many, many years ago.

The funny thing is, I saw this coming many years ago and knew that Borders would stick their head in the sand.

Inc. Magazine has a great piece on why Borders is tone-deaf.

Summarized, it comes down to six reasons:

1. No future strategy.
2. No real use of customer data.
3. Antiquated operations and supply chain.
4. Carrying the wrong products.
5. In-store experience is bad.
6. Management churn.

Just one can kill a business. Borders had all six. Well . . . that's the marketplace!

Did you see this coming? What is happening in your business?

3 Ways To Deal With Conflict At Work.

Is there someone at work that brings out the anger in you? Even if you act kindly towards them, do they still cause consternation with you, your work, your meetings or your staff? Have you ever heard the term, “Kill them with kindness”? Most of the time, pleasantness and joy in the face of rudeness may seem tough to maintain, but the end results are usually worth it. In my opinion, kindness is becoming an increasingly rare commodity in our society.

This is not going to be an easy exercise. In fact, it will test your patience and temerity with the intended colleague. Let’s face it, there are a host of problematic people who represent the entire spectrum of positive and negative behaviors (look at me!). You’re going to run into one or two of them everywhere you work.

If you attempt to try each of these techniques in order, you’ll find that you will not only suck all the negative energy out of that person, you might win them over to your way of thinking.

1. Agree Wholeheartedly

When you speak with them, smile, nod and agree. Agree with whatever is being said. Keep in mind while you're looking this person straight in the eyes, that it really doesn't matter who is right. If you know you're right about a situation, then that's that.

This person is looking for some level of disagreement and unfortunately for them, you are not playing into their trap. In fact, you are blowing it apart and it will puzzle them. Even if their demands or ideas are completely outrageous, say you see their point, agree with them.

They will see that their twisted needs aren’t being met and they will probably move on to someone else.

2. Ignore Them

You’ve probably also heard, “Turn the other cheek” — the act of turning away from aggression and ignore it rather than retaliate. If agreeing with them doesn’t work, just ignore them.

Don’t give them any of your time or any reason for them to persist in their abhorrent behavior. This is a great method to teach your staff too — once they see your behavior towards this individual, they can adopt it too.

3. Pour On The Syrup

This is the fun part — do you want to give them a taste of their own medicine? Deliver an increased dose of kindness towards that person by focusing a lot of positive attention towards them. Ask them about their weekend, see if you can help them with a simple task or item, or bring them a little gift. You might want to drop off an article that you read that they might enjoy.

Pour it on — go out of your way to make them feel a little bit uncomfortable with your attention. Be kind, not vindictive — focus on the positive. Odds are, the people around you will recognize what you’re doing and enjoy it, because they're probably in the same situation you’re in.

Do you have someone at work that causes bitterness and conflict?

How To Become Genuinely Interested In People.

I know . . . you hate small talk. To a certain extent, everyone does. If you’re asked to attend a lunch or dinner, you think, “Shoot me now - I hate all the fake conversation”.

People ask me why I love social functions. They grow me as a professional, expand my contact base and increase my chances for greater success. Hermits are rarely successful (with the exception of Howard Hughes).

A close colleague of mine is the most active person I've ever met. She spends every second of the day seeking new and interesting experiences. As a result, she finds what other people do interesting because it can be applied to her own endeavors.

It's not about talking to people. It's about being interested in what other people have to say, and the only way to do that is to be interested in things yourself. If you are a boring person then you will find other people boring.

You might be uncomfortable in social situations and use your ‘disinterest’ as an excuse, whether by accident or on purpose.

There are many reasons why you don't find people interesting. Sometimes, people also fall victim to the same arrogance to assume people will be dumb and boring to talk to. Don’t believe it, reach out and give it a try.

Find as many things in the world as you can that interest you. Then when the opportunity arises, try to find related topics to discuss with strangers.

The deeper and more honest a conversation is with a stranger, the more interesting it will be. Don't be afraid to tell someone what it is that you really enjoy or are really thinking about. They will sense your passion and share more with you.

If you get caught up in the moral dilemma of whether or not you are having a conversation for the other person's pleasure or your own selfish desires, then just remember we're here to experience life with others. We are all the same.

I've had more lifelong friends by volunteering for events or projects that I've found interesting than I ever did through chance and happenstance.

I volunteered for a local community project and while there were a fair share of douchey people involved, they were far outnumbered by just plainly awesome folks, most of whom I am still involved with on a day-to-day basis.

Keep your eyes open for opportunities to help others do things you enjoy, and you'll find others with common ground and shared interests that you will, hopefully, have no need to follow conversational flowcharts. You'll just talk.

Make believe you are a spy. Pretend you are James Bond and you are collecting information. You need to get as much intel on someone as possible, and learn as much as you can. And you need to store it away incase you need to use it to keep your cover later.

Don't spend time thinking about yourself and the process of fake communication rather than engaging in a real conversation. A conversation is a dance, a give and take, an exchange. Try to relate yourself with the person you are talking to, which in turn will make you more interested, because clearly we are very interested in ourselves.

Addressing it in a slightly different manner was all I needed to get much better at it, which in turn made people seem more interesting.

What are your tips to produce great conversation?

Image provided by atomicjeep at Flickr.

A Little Sunday Humor.

How To Solve Your Problems With Bananas.

Do you find yourself replicating a process and each time you do it, 50-75% it doesn't work? Not that it fails entirely, but when attempted, it's either fraught with additional challenges, clients may be disrupted, or it becomes such a big mess, it throws your team into a tizzy?

But you still keep doing it because it's the only way you know how to do it — the only way you've been taught?

Do you like bananas? Watch this short video at the end.

Simple. Fast. Clean. I've been opening bananas the wrong way for 40+ years. Suddenly, a buddy of mine sent me this video, I watched it, and my world is forever changed. I was trying to open the banana the exact opposite way a banana should be opened. It blew my mind.

Now apply this example to your job or business. What areas, people, processes, or clients do you continuously run into where it gets messy or doesn't work?

Try the banana method — or what it's officially called, Benchmarking. Benchmarking is the process of comparing one's business processes and performance to best practices from OTHER industries. Improvements from learning mean doing things better, faster, and cheaper.

The key word here is OTHER. You might be opening bananas like me for the past 40+ years and your entire company might be opening them the same way.Why?

"That's just the way it's done." "That's the way we've always done it around here." "There's no better way to do it, because we would be doing it."

Sound familiar? How long have you been opening bananas the same way? It's easier, more comfortable, and less scary than doing something else.

How about looking at your competition? Look at other industries and see how they manage their similar issues. Look at other countries, cultures, or customers to see what they do and how they react.

Step out of your comfort zone and open a banana the right way.

How do you benchmark? Where can you begin to look for new ideas, concepts, and strategies?

How To Get Buy-In With Your Staff & Clients.

Buy-In is critical to any endeavor or project. In fact, it's almost as important as the project itself. If you don't have the hearts and minds of your people or clients, it's usually a lost cause. So this is how I do it.

First, break up your group into three categories:

1. Acolytes - 20% - your staff or clients who will love or sell your product. They love change.
2. Independents - 60% - those who really don't care one way or another. They wait to see what happens.
3. Problem Children - 20% - those who will work against or hate your product. They hate change.

This is how you work with each consituency:

1. Acolytes - They're already bought in, you need to encourage them to be more vocal and motivational about their love. They're the first ones you bring in to whip them up and get them marketing the product internally and externally. Emotion is key here - focus on how to push their emotional triggers.
2. Independents - Just like a political campaign, these are the people you need to get to win the election. You need to deliver factual information to get them to jump on-board. Show them how it will change the dynamic of their life and how easy it will be to change. Respect their feedback and listen to their concerns - doing this will allow you to grab a larger percentage of this group.
3. Problem Children - Externally, forget about them (for now) - Internally, you need to read them the riot act. As they hate change, they are also wary of anything new. They tend to look for the negative in certain situations. Patience is a virtue with this group - but at the end of the day, if you are dealing with internal staff, and they don't eventually jump on board, you need to come down hard on them. Get on or get out. You don't need their acerbic attitude poisoning your launch.

Let's use another Apple example with the iPad 2 (you can probably guess I'm an acolyte):

1. Acolytes - they are planning to wait on line to be the first to own the new version. You can easily count on them.
2. Independents - will take a wait and see approach. Unless prompted by external influencers (colleagues or kids), they will wait until the item is on sale or there is an overarching reason to purchase one.
3. Problem Children - PC acolytes who will never give in to any Apple product. They've lived in their domain for 20+ years and will never change. They will use price or flexibility as an excuse not to purchase one. And they will vigorously spurn anyone who picks one up.

Buy-In is a communication process to hold and excite your base, grab the all important middle, and mitigate the outliers.

What do you do when attempting to get buy-in with your staff, sales team, or customers?

Image provided by Amy Loves Yah at Flickr.

How To Make Tough Decisions.

“I don’t know what to do.”“I’m stuck, which way should I turn?” “I’m procrastinating because I don’t know what will bite me.”

This happens all the time to everyone at their workplace. EVERYONE.

Unfortunately, most people are paranoid of everything falling apart or failing IF they make a critical decision.

When I work with clients (who range from CEO’s to Solopreneurs), I help them understand there are only three scenarios:

1. Things will get better. (sometimes much better)
2. Things will stay the same.
3. Things will get worse.
4. Or the world will veer from it's axis and we will all die. ;)

I usually comment: If you then make a decision and you use my model, 2 of the 3 are either good or average. One is bad.

I don’t know about you, but I like the odds.

Most people focus on the bad (or worse). All the time.

To increase your chances of hitting the upper end of the curve or lessening the lower end, try to mitigate certain unknowns.

Here’s a typical example:

Apple is launching a new iPad into the marketplace in the next few weeks. (Yea!)

1. It either will be a hit and sell more than the iPad 1.
2. It will match the sales of the iPad 1.
3. Due to increase competition, or other factors, it will sell less than the iPad 1.

Now Steve Jobs, Jonathan Ive and a host of other Apple troops are out in force mitigating the last scenario.

They’ve done their market testing. They’ve surveyed the marketplace.
They’ve got info on their competition and a host of other mitigating behaviors. They’ve done their homework.

Most of the time, your homework is to sit down and clearly think about the results of your decision. Understand most (not all) of the permutations - what might happen. And develop alternatives if things go awry. But also think about the positive and average scenarios too. Doing this will make it easier.

And then make the decision. "Lose your sleep before your decision, not after it."

What hard decisions do you have to make? Does this model work for you?

Image provided by katietower at Flickr.

"If You Have Fear, You Will Fall."

If you know me, I'm constantly out in the electronic zeitgeist learning new things and meeting new people. This morning, I came upon Human Planet, an incredible BBC documentary on a man called Tete (who makes Chuck Norris look like a schoolgirl). He climbs a very tall tree (120-150 feet in the air) with just a vine and his willpower.

Why? To break into a bee hive to get honey for his family. By the way, he probably gets stung scores of times during the process.

There's one line he mentions about getting the willpower to climb the tree, "If you have fear, you will fall." Tete is truly a man without fear.

How many times in your career are you faced with a fear? I suggest we be more like Tete and focus on the problem at hand. Then you won't fall.

Milton Levine Died Last Month.

Flash of inspiration . . .

Milton Levine’s eureka moment came in 1956, when he spotted a mound of ants during a Fourth of July picnic at his sister’s poolside in Southern California.

Coalescence into an idea . . .

Recalling how as a boy he had collected ants in jars at his uncle’s farm, thought “We should make an antarium.”

Milton takes action . . .

The resulting product —  Uncle Milton’s Ant Farm — selling for $1.98, the original 6-by-9-inch ant farm was an immediate hit, soon selling thousands a week by mail order to children persuaded by commercials on after-school television shows.

The result . . .

It has been a staple in children’s bedrooms ever since. More than 20 million have been sold. Mr. Levine once said of his company’s success: “Most novelties, if they last one season, it’s a lot. If they last two seasons, it’s a phenomenon. To last 35 years is unheard of.” That was in 1991.

From a dream into a reality . . .

Last year, Uncle Milton Industries, based in Westlake Village, Calif., was sold to the Transom Capital Group for more than $20 million. Mr. Levine died Jan. 16 in Thousand Oaks, CA. He was 97.

Do you have a flash of inspiration? Do you have an idea or dream? Do you take action? Do you follow through?

Take a moment today to assess where you accelerate, where you sputter, and where you eventually stop.

Milton took a simple idea, made it into a novelty, and grossed $20M.

You can too.

Quotes taken and modified from the New York Times.

How To Pick Yourself Up After You Fail.

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela

1. Try another direction, tack, or plan.
2. Ask a friend for help.
3. Go for a walk, clear your mind, get back to work.
4. Take action, do anything, keep your momentum moving forward.
5. Read a book, surf the web.
6. Call a past customer or client.
7. Go to an event/meeting.
8. Hop on a webinar or e-learning conference call.
9. Go visit your competition.
10. Hit the museum — I always get inspiration from that.
11. Get in your car and drive.
12. Go to the gym.
13. Have lunch with past colleagues.
14. Read Fast Company, Wired, Inc., or Entrepreneur.
15. Meditate, pray, or do yoga - center yourself.

In the end, don't sit still and wallow in your failure. Stand up, regard it as a learning experience, and move forward.

What have you done to pick yourself up after you've failed?

Smile or Die!

RSA brings us another wonderful white-board executive summary of a powerful business topic — Smiling! Enjoy.

Happy Birthday IBM!

IBM is 100! Check out this imaginative and powerful spot:

How To Make Wonderful Mistakes.

Over the past week, someone I’ve been working with let me know that they made a pretty big mistake. One that might affect me and my business. Don’t worry - it’s not that big. I’m okay.

It’s how she let me know. In her email, she alluded to missing a critical requirement, but never formally apologized and said it was ‘her fault’. Although we discussed this in-depth over the past few weeks, it ultimately (in her opinion), was my fault for not catching this.

In addition, she pretty well closed the door on any possibility of reversing her mistake. And she didn't provide any options moving forward.

Story over — now let’s get to the meat of the post:

Mistakes are natural, occur frequently, and are a part of life. Once you acknowledge this, you'll be a much happier and stress-free person.

In fact, with my teams, I encourage mistakes, because they promote learning and forward movement. If you or your team makes no mistakes, you probably aren’t taking risks, venturing into unknown territory, or pushing yourselves harder to deliver faster, better, and with more quality.

So here are some of my rules about mistakes:

1. Expect that they will happen. If you tip-toe around everything you do, afraid of making a mistake, you will never accelerate you team, project or career. Trust me on this.
2. When a mistake occurs, treat it as a learning opportunity. Get your team to acknowledge the mistake, understand how it happened, and come up with their own solutions to ameliorate it quickly. And also, how to make sure it never happens again.
3. Don't get angry. If it is a serious mistake, still handle it as listed above, but let the team understand the gravity of the situation factually, but not emotionally.
4. Take responsibility for your screw-up immediately. Acknowledge it, say you’re sorry, come with solutions, and a process (and promise) that it will never happen again. You will be instantly respected by your superiors and peers.
5. Don’t point fingers or bring a cadre of fellow players into the mistake. You made it, take responsibility for it. And don’t blame your superiors, your customers, or anyone else ‘if they didn’t catch it’. You are accountable, it your problem now.
6. Stop talking about it and take action. Most problems or issues can be fixed or turned around immediately. There were many times I went to my boss and said that I screwed up, this is what happened, and I’ve already fixed the problem. All I got from him was, “Nice work.” Boy did I feel great afterward.

Now go break some eggs!

Have you or your team ever made a mistake? How did you handle it? How did others react?

Image by Plindberg at Flickr.

Extreme Mojo (or Driving On The Corporate Autobahn).

The other night, I played Call of Duty—Black Ops with my son on his new Xbox 360 (with Kinect!). It's an amazing system — and it's quite entertaining. Unfortunately, I played it all wrong — or at least that's what my son told me (vociferously). I either camped out in one spot and picked everyone off like a sniper, or I ran blindly into the fray as fast as I could shooting everyone in sight. As I was reprimanded by my son, the 'right' way to play is to move slowly and shoot strategically at your enemies. I disagree ;)

What if we migrate this idea into business? There is a theory of moving slowly and acting strategically to hit your deadlines and vanquish your obstacles.

Have you ever started to pick up significant momentum during a project, moving faster and faster, leaving everyone behind? Where your team all aligned behind you like a Lionel train set all chugging faster and faster, and no one dared to get in your way? It's call MOJO.

I see this happen often with executives and businesspeople who have a clear vision of purpose. No one, and I mean no one, will get in their way. They drive forward and make things happen when they want them to happen. Even if the 'human obstacles' complain to upper management, no one wants to get in the way of this speeding train.

You need a few things for Mojo to occur:

• A crystal-clear vision - all mapped out with alternate directions.
• Quick thinking - you must think 3-4 steps ahead of everyone else.
• A good lay of the land - anticipate all the obstacles that might come from other departments or people.
• Firm foundation of support - a few superiors, peers, and subordinates who believe you can do it.
• Energy - the ability to quickly pick oneself off the ground, dust yourself off, and start running.
• Enthusiasm - it's infectious - you need to convert lots of friends, admirers, and help from high places along the way.

I've seen (and had) this Mojo many times in my career. It's beautiful to watch everyone scurry out of the way (but take notice) of a fellow colleague driving on the corporate Autobahn at 180 mph.

Have you ever accelerated past the speed of light at work? What happened? What surprised you?

When Is It Right To Question Authority At Work?

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." – John F. Kennedy. How often do we let this happen to us at work? We go with the vagaries of the loudest shouters without sitting down, truly thinking about the issue and doing what is the right path for you, your organization, and your customers?

I know JFK meant this for the political process (and it is so apropos today) - but I love to take great quotes out of context and apply them to different situations.

When has it become a bad thing to question authority at work? Because of the economy and changing marketplace, almost every company is in control and the executive is at their mercy.

Many times during my career, I came to these crossroads. When I started with a large advisory firm, management was enthralled with a powerful vendor (who was charging millions for their services). The vendor’s name was hallowed through the halls - you don’t buck them!

I was tapped to take over a struggling team to launch a totally new product with a new website built by this vendor. After working with them for about a month, I realized they were doing nothing and constantly running out the clock.

I thought about it and put my job and reputation on the line by speaking with my immediate superiors. I wanted to fire the vendor. Surprisingly, they wanted to do it too, but were afraid to do it. So I did. And in less than three months, we had a fully-functioning site up and running, blowing away the rest of the company who still had to work with the vendor.

Bottom line, think hard, do your research, and buck the consensus when required.

Have you ever been in this situation?

Add More Torque To Your Organization.

What’s torque? It’s a measure of the turning force on an object such as the pushing or pulling of a wrench handle connected to a nut or bolt. It produces a torque (turning force) that loosens or tightens the bolt. If you elongate the wrench handle (by adding a long pipe) you increase the torque, or turning force on the bolt.

Cars have torque too - it’s your gear system. In first gear, you have the most torque on your drive train (which ultimately moves your wheels) and you can climb any incline. But as you move up the gears (2, 3, 4, 5, and 6), you use less torque and your car can go faster and faster and faster.

I feel like Tim Taylor from Home Improvement right now.

Let’s talk about your career.

How can use less torque to what you do? To go faster and faster with less effort? How can you add a pipe to that wrench to effortlessly loosen the bolt?

The funny thing is, you probably know what ‘torque-related’ elements there are in your career or business — but you’re just not using them. They’re sitting in your toolbox, gathering dust.

Let me list some of the elements and their corresponding tools:

• Promotion/More Pay — Deliver faster, better, get other key execs to recognize you. Ask for more work, exposure, or the ability to work on your boss' projects.
• More Clients — 80/20 rule - who are your best clients? Go find out where the 20% live, meet, and congregate. I promise you there will be more of them waiting for your services. Let the underperforming 80% go away (for the time being).
• Efficient Team — Find out what motivates, energizes and leverages their strengths. You won’t believe what they can do once you initiate these levers.
• Technology — You can do it yourself, learn how to do it better, or get someone to do it for you. Guess which one moves you the fastest?

Get where I’m going? Go out and start shifting into 4th/5th/6th gear or find a pipe to turn your wrench. Don’t just stand there and say “I can only move in one gear” or “that bolt will never loosen”.

You have a complete toolbox to choose from. It’s inside you.

What your favorite tool in your toolbox you use to move faster?

Are You On Track For 2011?

Today is January 20th. You’ve had 20 days to kick off 2011 the right way. You know, MAKE A DIFFERENCE. How’s it working for you? I usually get one of three answers:

• Unbelievable! (face it, they’re lying.)
• Still In The Planning Stage (and when ARE you going to launch?)
• No, Life Still Sucks (buy them a BIG drink.)

The good news is: We’re only 20 days into the new year. You still have time.

There's one caveat, your time is running out. If you want to make a dramatic difference in your life, career, or business, you need to start taking action immediately.

Why? This is how I see a typical year (again, this is how I see it):

JAN - FEB - MAR Critical time to launch and catch your management’s or the marketplace’s attention.

APR - MAY - JUN Moving into the passing lane, accelerating forward, making significant wins. Remember, there are some school vacations and holidays mixed in here.

JUL - AUG Dead time. Everyone focused on having fun with the fam or on the farm.

SEP-OCT Another critical time to impact your management or marketplace, everyone ramping up for the fourth quarter.

NOV-DEC Almost everyone is distracted by the holidays, the weather, etc. Begin planning NOW for 2012.

When are you going to get off your butt and make things happen?

How To Overcome Your Speaking Jitters.

I present to audiences all over the world. In college, I took a communications course which made me stand up and give presentations each week to the class. Most people developed very serious talks. One topic the instructor assigned was to pick a person in our life who helped us cope with the craziness of childhood, most of my peers chose their grandfather/grandmother, mother, father, etc.

I chose Batman. I kept it light, funny, and focused. I spoke about how he helped me learn to read (comics) and gave me a basic ethical structure in relation to crime. He also taught me about how to correctly throw a Bat-a-rang. I got an ‘A’ from the professor.

Rule #1 If you have to speak, be comfortable with your topic and materials.

Most people stand up and keep their topic and presentation style very formal and impersonal. That’s probably why they feel uncomfortable and usually, their presentations suck. Your presentation has to be YOU. They need to see you built it, crafted it, and are delivering it from your personality, your experiences, and your knowledge. Anything less . . . it probably won’t work.

I also took the Dale Carnegie Class (12 weeks/3 hour meetings) and had to stand up each meeting and give an impassioned speech with no notes, no Powerpoint, for a specific amount of time. It was difficult and fraught-ridden with failure.

Rule #2 Speak from your heart to capture their hearts and minds.

Emotions are tricky things to manipulate and master. Candidly, all presentations are ‘Broadway‘ — it’s partially the content, but the real discriminator is the delivery. If you REALLY believe in your topic and transfer all emotions in your talk, you'll have your audience in the palm of your hand.

When I was a young executive, my boss and I worked weeks to develop a speech he was going to give at a major tech expo (1000+ attendees). The morning of the speech, he and I were going over it, and he said, “Rich, I think YOU should do it. It would be a good opportunity for you to really broaden your experience in front of a large crowd,” I was nervous, but I did it, and I hit it out of the park.

Rule #3 Forget about screwing up, the crowd, the pressures — just do it.

This might sound flippant, but everyone I’ve coached and trained in public speaking all agree once you are up there speaking, most (if not all) your ambivalence disappears.

It’s the build-up to the event that terrifies you. You tell yourself stories, develop worst-case scenarios, and mentally watch yourself fail in front of thousands of people.

You also have to practice, practice, practice. Know your material cold. Check your timing, transitions, and ability to handle a basic set of questions.

Once you get up there, a large percentage of your jitters and shakiness evaporate and any lingering insecurity is managed by your focus on the topic and delivery.

How do you shake off your speaking insecurities?

3 Ways To Make Obstacles Disappear.

As I’ve always said . . . work is just a series of problems to solve. You have to have your head on straight all the time, attack each problem head on, and make sure you clean up the kitchen after you’re done. Sometimes though, it’s not so easy. Major obstacles jump into your path and make the process of solving these problems difficult, nay impossible.

When I was a ‘wee lad’ years ago, I had a great mentor who helped me understand how to take care of these obstacles when they appear in your way. He said, “Rich, you have three choices: Fight, Compromise, or Acquiesce. That’s it — pick one — and then do it.” Here's what he meant:

Fight

Is it a hill to die on? Sometimes you need to armor-up, get your troops in order, and take on the enemy to make the obstacle disappear.

Sometimes it’s Mr. Obstacle who is against all change, or they want to control an area you are clearly taking over, or they are just being childish (this happens often) and you need to give them a dose of hard reality.

Bottom line, If you are going to have battle scars, so will they. The best way to fight is first do it privately, behind closed doors and lay out the facts why the decision should it go your way. If it doesn’t work, go public — but again, get your troops and facts in order to win the fight quickly and with the least amount of blood-loss. If you're going to take them down a peg, be gracious, but pull the band-aid off quickly.

Compromise

Time to pull out your ‘Atticus Finch’ hat and begin laying the groundwork for a suitable set of goals you and Mr. Obstacle will agree to. Usually, it’s not much to give up, but it’s the principle of the subtle concession.

If you do compromise - make sure Mrs. Obstacle feels the pain too and they are making you lose critical time, resources, and money to make this agreement. In addition, let them know subtly this is going to be a one-time event, next time you are going to bring the big guns.

Acquiesce

Sometimes for the good of the project and the company (and your job) you have to give in. Immediately figure out what has to change, who will be impacted, what will have to be shortened, expanded, etc.

Just like an armistice after a war, you’re giving in. So make the process as clean, quick, and professional as possible. Set up alternatives and make them instantly happen. Get your staff on-board, show them why you have to give in and move on. Time to fight is for another day.

Think of a recent obstacle in your career - what did you do?

How To Say No.

It's one of the hardest things to do in business.

If you're an executive, you never say no to your boss and you're afraid to say no to your peers. Your team, it's easy — except if you're a pushover.

If you run a business, you never say no to your clients and you're afraid to say no to your vendors/distributors. Your team — again, pushover.

But using the word 'No' effectively puts you in the driver's seat — it allows you to make faster decisions on what you have planned to do. If you let someone else pop in with a request, change, or demand and it throws off your plans — it's frustrating.

So here are some proven techniques to say 'No':

• Say 'Not Now'. You're not saying 'No', you are acknowledging their idea/direction, and you probably see the reason behind the request. But you just can't do it NOW. "Let's look at it in a few weeks, months, and hopefully years." Because most requests have a tinge of self-esteem built into them — you have to keep it up while letting them down easy. "Susan, I have to say, this is an incredible idea. I am blown away you spent a lot of time on it and I want us to take it forward. But, not now. We are in the middle of launching our new nuclear-powered client service system and we just don't have the focus or manpower to do it at this time. Do you see where I'm coming from?"
• Say 'Yes', but with stipulations and the ability to change it radically. Some ideas have merit and some have a little spark of genius wrapped in a ball of unimportant busywork. First, give them acknowledgement for a great idea and say 'Yes', but then dissect their suggestion/demand and pick out the parts which really have merit. "Tom, I see where you're going with this and I'm really interested in accelerating this one small section ASAP into our project line. Are you up to running it? By the way nice work. We can then review the rest and see what is feasible moving forward."
• Say 'Yes', but change their request around so it better suits you and the direction you're traveling in. Often, bosses, peers, clients, and even your team try to throw ideas or '180° turnarounds' to slow you down, jumble up the works, or stop progress entirely. Sometimes they do it unwittingly and sometimes with malice. In any event, you need to acknowledge their tennis serve and return it back with a lot of spin on it. "Igor, your idea of moving the development team to Fiji is well-thought out — I am intrigued by your idea of moving the team to get better work out of them. Your strategy of mixing up the work environment is a good one — let's redecorate their offices."
• Say 'No'. There are times when you just have to say 'No' and take the consequences. But let them down gently and quickly — again, a lot of their self-esteem and work is bundled up into the idea — and it will take a major hit. Take their emotions into account but follow your 'No' with FACTS. Refer to why you can't do it and what elements are out of your control, etc. "Fritz, I'm going to have to pass at this time on your idea. It's not that it's bad, I do see some hard work here, but for this company at this time, I will have to say 'No'. Do you understand where I'm coming from?"

When have you had to say 'No'? What happened?