Creating A Life Plan . . . Today.

Many of my clients ask how can they apply our session learnings to their personal life. I say it's easy — you just have to take the first step. My life plan system is comprised of four areas:

1. Create A Purpose Statement. Why do you want to do this? "I want to see the world and meet new people." What do you want to change? "I want to spend more time with my kids." What do you want to add? Get out a big sheet of paper and begin thinking BIG. Use a huge Post-It notepad with markers. You want lots of room, lots of ideas - this is going to get messy! You are going to change often during this process - hone down ideas, think of new ones, and throw some out the window.
2. Set Clear Goals. What are the specific goals you want to reach? Not "have more happiness" - where? And back to Purpose . . . Why? Take one sheet per goal and start to see how you can transfer your purpose to specific goals.
3. Define Steps & Activities. Articulate each step you'll need to take. Who needs to help you? What will you need to do? What will you stop doing? What other resources do you need to help you move through each step? Get messy on each page - list all the steps then begin to put them in order. Then add completion dates to each activity.
4. Take Action. Just Do it. Pick the first step - and get it done this weekend.
5. Refine As Needed During the journey, life will get in your way. You need to be resilient and stick to the plan. Or make subtle changes as you accelerate or decelerate.

You either have to do it by yourself or have a spouse, partner or friend work with you. The better communication that you have with them (or yourself), the more successful you'll be.

In addition, having someone to do it with makes it that much more fun and powerful. And you will stick to it.

First Impressions Define Your Success.

Okay, I lied. Many things define your success. But one of the more important elements of initial and continued success are the ways other people perceive us. I've broken it down into five elements, so here goes:

Approach

How do you comport yourself? Do you slug along with your shoulders down, leaning on tables, head facing down? Try to change that - walk just a little bit faster wherever you go. Pick up the speed a little bit — a good measure is to move 20% faster, not a run, just a quicker pace.

Adjust your posture, don't stand straight up like a soldier — align your ears, shoulders, and hips — and your spine will relax into a natural 'S'. Try not to lean on tables, desks, cubicles — it communicates fatigue, laziness, boredom. If you don't feel like standing straight, then do something — look and act busy.

Handshake

Handshake is critical. The other day, a person pulled me aside and complimented me about my son's handshake. He was impressed how firm his shake was for a 14-year old boy. Understand, this is probably the only time you will touch another person and the tactual, kinesthetic action is very important to set a first impression. You need to practice it frequently — if it's too weak (clammy) or too strong (vise-like), you'll immediately set the wrong perception.

Facial Expression

Next time you have 1/2 hour and a cam in your laptop, record yourself working. When you review your recording, you might be surprised — most people's resting facial expression is one of anger or unhappiness. So if someone is looking or approaching you — you might not realize that you are actually presenting yourself with a less than appealing demeanor.

Try smiling more often — it takes less muscles and studies have shown that it makes you feel happier and gets the happy hormones flowing!

Dress

I'm not a fashion consultant — but I do know good choices of clothing and bad ones. When you first look at a person, the face is important, but your clothed body makes up a larger remainder of the perceived person. Dress nicely and if you want to, add an element of flair to your wardrobe — a scarf, a sharp tie, a cool belt, cool shoes. Make sure the scarf is not wrinkled, the tie is in-style and clean, your belt is shined with no visible scuff marks, and your shoes are in very good to excellent condition.

I'm also not going to get into the Boomer/Millennial argument about clothing. You know your environment, you know the people that you are trying to interact/reach out to/impress. Dress accordingly.

Let me let you in on a little secret: Years ago, when many offices made the decision to move from suits to casual dress, most employees sprinted into polo shirts and jeans. What did I do? I watched what all of my superiors were wearing — and guess what? I wore what they wore — sharp shirts and expensive slacks. Who got the best projects, the largest teams, the raises, and the promotions? ME.

Hygiene

Pay attention to your body - make sure your hair is perfect (mine is easy), that your smells are not too over-powering — shower, antiperspirant, a little cologne/perfume.

For you older folk, pay attention to hair that appears in strange places (nose/ears/face/hands) — I get more scared as I get older and see my hair migrate from my head to the Twilight Zones of my face. Pretty soon, I'll need hedge clippers from Black & Decker.

Also, good dental hygiene is important too. If you can, brush your teeth after lunch to get all the errant spinach from the crevices of your front incisors. At the very least, check your teeth with a mirror or give them a quick wipe with your napkin. Breath is all important — chew gum if you have too. Mr. Garlic or Mrs. Onion is not welcome when speaking one-on-one.

Hope these have helped. You probably do most, if not all of them. But I find that even I need a refresher course on how we present ourselves to deliver the best first impression.

The Most Inspirational Social Media I've Ever Seen.

Every so often, a good friend sends you a story, an article, or a video in this case, that not only gives you hope and inspires you, it knocks your social media socks off. I know this will go viral (259,000 views since Sunday). It's not funny, there's no vitriol, just Carl Sagan talking to us over some magnificent images of our world from Reid Gower with Michael Marantz playing piano. Bravo NASA!

SIMPLE AND POWERFUL.

Are You A Super-Connector?

Keith Ferrazzi uses a term in his book, Never Eat Alone, called the 'Super Connector'. His definition (paraphrased from his book & site):

"Super Connectors are people who maintain contact with thousands of people in many different worlds and know them well enough to give them a call. Restauranteurs, headhunters, lobbyists, fundraisers, public relations people, politicians, and journalists are the best super-connectors because it's their job to know EVERYONE."

If you want to rocket your career upwards or grow your business exponentially, you need to begin reaching out to these people, become friends, and leverage their talents. I do . . . all the time.

But just knowing a lot of people or knowing the 'right' type of people is only one side of the coin. The other side is how you help connect them to each other — 'get your connections to connect with other connections'.

This is where the rubber hits the road — and where most people stop being connectors. They don't want to volunteer their good friends, colleagues, and clients to other connections. Why? It might not go well, people are very concerned about their time, they might not like the person you connect them to — it could go in a million bad directions.

In addition, we tend to hold onto our connections like a deep, dark secret, never letting anyone know who we know. Guess what? You are sabotaging your own evolution to become a super-connector. If you don't share, the natural symbiosis of contacts never happens.

Here's a simple tool I use to not only connect strangers together, but it ensures both parties immediately connect with one another and if something goes awry, no feelings are hurt. I call it the RICH GEE VIRTUAL INTRODUCTION. Here it is:

Oprah & Phil - I think you both should meet. Why?

Oprah - Phil is a good friend and a rare personality in the world. He's helped many celebrities just like you and his name came to mind when you mentioned your situation with the beef industry.

Phil - Oprah is also a good friend. She has a multi-billion dollar media enterprise and she influences millions of people every day. She makes things happen.

From my point of view, it never hurts to introduce respected professionals - you never know who can help who, who knows who, etc. I love to have these encounters myself all the time. No one is selling anything, no one is looking for a job - the result: good business and marketplace conversation! You never know, you might help one another!

Oprah Position, Company

Address, City/State/Zip

Direct Phone Number

Email

Phil Position, Company

Address, City/State/Zip

Direct Phone Number

Email

If I have erred in any way, let me know. I have introduced you to each other with the highest of ethics and earnestness. You are both nice people and I like to make opportunities happen between friends and colleagues.

Have a great day! Regards - Rich

I've probably used this template thousands of times in my corporate and coaching career. Guess what? It's NEVER backfired — no one ever got their feelings hurt — no one ever called their lawyers.

Try it — one day (in the very near future) you might become a super connector too!

The Best Way To Grow Your Business & Career.

Ask someone. That's it. Go out there into the world, and ask people what they think. Sounds too simple, doesn't it? It's called Voice of the Customer.

But most people don't do that. They're afraid that they might be told something that they don't want to hear. Or they'll be talked out of their dream/strategy. Or that stronger personalities might co-opt their idea, mold it, and it will look totally different from when they started. So they just stop and talk to no one.

Let me help you — go talk to people. People that have done it before. People that have used your service. People that might have great ideas. Yesterday, I ran into a great Reddit question (if you don't follow Reddit, you should):

"I own a liquor store and want to know what type of things do you look for when you shop at your local liquor store? What would make your shopping better?"

Here are some of the responses — pure gold if you ask me:

• I love how one of my local movie rental stores have handwritten notes recommending certain dvds. Why not do the same for liquor? A note that says: "Goes great with: xxx, xxx, or xxx" could be great for people trying new liquors and wanting to switch things up.
• I think that 'employee picks' would be pretty cool. Just like you see in an independent bookstore - just a little note under the product with a name and a short blurb about why it's great.
• Liquor of the week - slightly discount something obscure each week and sell at the counter. It would give people a reason to try new things.
• Offer customers the option of making their own six packs from our selection for a flat rate.
• Free bag of ice with purchase (a store back home used to do this. I went there all the time because of it.)
• Lemons, limes, common mixers (e.g. Tonic, soda water, cola).
• Know your regulars - They often order things for my husband and I that they don't usually carry. Whenever we go in they make a point of telling us about anything new they've gotten in to try. We almost always take the suggestion and buy it. The owner, who is usually there, will even remember what it was and ask us how we liked it. I'm sure we spend a lot more money there due to the extra attention. I don't expect the guy to remember our names, but it's nice that he remembers what we like to drink.
• Solo Cups, Ping-Pong Balls, Playing Cards, Poker Chips, etc., etc. You know if there is a college near by.

You get the idea. One question in the right forum and you get gold from customers.

In Corporate — If you have an idea for a new project at work, run it by some people you trust — talk to mentors outside of your company. Want to make a move — start talking to people, dip your toe in the water. Reach out to industry insiders and ask their opinion.

You might be VERY surprised.

Are We Experiencing A Technology Tsunami?

Over the past 25 to 30 years, technology has been zipping along the mainframe to desktop route and the entire tech institution has been riding along with it (and profiting greatly from it). Lately, I find as each month progresses, I am leveraging the old basics of business and office technology less and less.

Some examples:

1. I never load software anymore - in fact I don't even use my CD/DVD player. With the advent of the App Store this week, I see it going away.
2. I carry my laptop less and less. I use my iPhone and look forward to the iPad2.
3. I can carry most key files I need on my 64GB Flash Drive (duplicates of course).
4. I don't have as many problems/issues/blowups as I used to with tech even 3-5 years ago.
5. More (if not all) of my tools and files are on the cloud, not on my laptop.
6. I hardly print anymore. Thus, no files or file cabinet.
7. Email is slowly going away for me - I text message and call more often.
8. Hardware is getting cheaper by the minute. A $500 backup HD a few years ago is $99 today.

I parallel this change in my life (and business) with the car industry. When I was growing up, cars broke down frequently — there were repair shops all over the place fixing almost every part on a car. Nowadays, it's rare to have to fix your car (maintenance excluded - I have Hondas/Acuras). Engineering, design, materials, and service just got better.

Is the same thing happening in the tech industry and all ancillary organizations who attach themselves like barnacles to tech? If so, what is the impact on the industry? What's the impact on organizations like Symantec (virus), Gartner/Forrester (advisory), HP (printing), and Microsoft (operating systems)?

How is technology changing for you? Is it getting cheaper? More efficient? Concentrated? Expanded?

I run my own business and own all Apple products. All of this is happening very quickly and I fully embrace the change. In fact, I lease all my equipment — by the time the lease runs out, the tech is obsolete anyway.

Do you see corporate tech shops getting smaller as more and more systems are simplified and delivered via the cloud? As moving parts disappear (CD's, Software, Wires, Hard Drives) do the systems, personnel, costs, support and focus also decline?

Open disclosure: I worked for Gartner for six years and was a client for seven.

$17.14 Can Change Your Thinking. Guaranteed.

As I frequently say, most business books SUCK. But there are some that matriculate to the top and it's my job to keep up on the constant volume of new tomes shoved out into the marketplace and decide who makes the top 5%. Where Good Ideas Come From: The Natural History of Innovation by Steven Johnson makes that cut.

I stumbled into this book back in October/November when it was published and just got around to finishing it over the holidays. Candidly, I'm blown away.

First off, I had to read it with my trusty highlighter in hand as each info nugget popped out and provided insight into past or current challenges around creativity and problem solving. It's chock full of great strategies and ideas - this is not a boring 'this is my opinion' self-help book.

Johnson's book is written in an easily accessible style that makes you forget that you are reading theory. It's more like reading a conversation. His ideas are thought-provoking, even for people who don't choose to agree with him. This book helped stimulate a lot of discussion in one of my mastermind groups - likely the tone of the book does this. Rather than being confused about what was being said or what the theories were, it enabled all of us to have a discussion around the ideas and philosophy of the book. A stimulating and refreshing read.

I'd recommend it to anyone who's ever had bursts of inspiration and wondered why they haven't been able to replicate those circumstances, or anyone who wants to innovate at all. Go out and buy this book today.

Finally, here's a great 'RSA Animate' video that gives you the jist of what Mr. Johnson espouses. Enjoy!

There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.

"There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch." A powerful quote by Milton Friedman, a prominent American economist in the 20th century. I first heard this saying at my freshman introductory orientation at Ripon College with Dean Harris, Dean of Men. He was speaking to the entire male freshman class (the ladies were in another room in a similar talk with the Dean of Women — boy would I have liked to have been a fly on that wall!). Dean Harris was a wonderful man who reached out to me at different junctures of my college career — giving me sage advice (and reprimanding me when I stepped over the line). He's a special person in my life.

To this day, I can't think of a month that goes by when I either think or speak these words. As a successful corporate executive and coach, what does it mean to me?

1. If you work hard, results and rewards will follow.
2. Odds are, if someone gives something to you, it will probably cost you something in the end.
3. Don't expect anything to happen, plan and ensure that it does.
4. Don't go through life thinking everything will be easy.

Those are MY definitions. What are yours?

Oh, by the way, here's a great corollary to the Friedman quote:

“The small businessman is smart; he realizes there's no free lunch. On the other hand, he knows where to go to get a good inexpensive sandwich.” - Adam Osborne

Why I Love Starbucks.

It's the typical hype cycle.

• A new product or service is introduced.
• It grows exponentially to take over an industry.
• Everyone loves it.
• Accordingly, they all can't stop talking about it.
• It goes viral and the media picks up on it.
• It gets bigger.
• Then people find that it will not solve ALL their problems.
• They begin to talk it down because it's 'in' to talk it down.
• The media picks up on it again, whips around 180° and begins to tear it down.
• Then at some point, it all levels/evens out.

Starbucks is at this point now — they rode the hype roller coaster over the past number of years. But I still love them. Why?

They fit perfectly into my business model. I run a 21st century business:

1. I have a home office where I coach.
2. I have a professional office in Stamford where I meet clients, hold workshops, and coach.
3. I'm regularly on the road to travel, meet new people, network, and bump into friends and colleagues.

Starbucks is perfect for #3. I have a special place to stop off and hook into my email and network (free wi-fi). Their products are consistent from store to store, so I always get my Venti Zen Green Tea (with only one teabag) for $2.07 (a deal). Their staff is always polite, engaging, and sometimes even fun to interact with. I meet clients in-person to go over their strategy for 2011 instead of dragging them down to my office. And I write my daily blog (as I am doing right now).

What does this mean to you? Well . . . Starbucks is a business entity that I love. In 2011, how can you position your business to make your clients LOVE you? Think about it:

• Do you deliver a consistent customer experience where you make your client feel comfortable? Do you develop a 'safe space' where they can grow, relax, expand, and grow their business or career?
• Do you provide a flexibility to allow them to personalize their experience?
• Do you offer various locations (physical and virtual) to allow them to use your products and services?
• Do you try new ideas, new products, new services?
• Do you have a loyalty/membership program to reward and retain your best customers?
• Do you have an upsell area to get your clients to buy more stuff?
• Do you partner with related industries to grow your business?

You might not like Starbucks and that's fine. That's not what this post is about (it's how I love Starbucks). But you can't argue that they have a compelling model that scared market leaders like McDonald's and Dunkin Donuts to mimic a lot of their offerings.

This year, what ideas can you steal from Starbucks and make them your own?

Do You Deliver Good Or Bad Customer Service?

Two things happened to me during the time between Christmas and New Year's Eve that clearly defined what I call Good & Bad Customer Service. I bought a really cool Arc'teryx Winter Jacket for my wife. I was so excited I found the perfect color (she loves Arc'teryx - she has a few of their tops). The service at our local store was helpful and got me in and out ASAP. It's a high-end establishment, most of their prices are top dollar (even the sale items), but I like going there because they always have the best clothing.

Unfortunately, on Christmas morning, when my wife tried on the jacket, it was a bit too big. So we brought it back within a few days of purchase with the receipt. Guess what happened? The clerk immediately said, "We cannot give you a refund because it was a sale item. See the small (size: 5-point) print on the bottom of your receipt?" No I didn't and it wasn't elaborated during the initial sale.

To make matters worse, my wife and I went through the store looking for a suitable replacement, but it was virtually empty due to the holidays. I wanted my money back - I had the receipt, I had the merchandise in perfect condition, and virtually everything in the store was on sale at that time.

So what the store was really saying to me was, "NO! Bad Customer! You must play by our rules!" So I put on my best Rich Gee smile and politely asked for the manager. After 5-10 minutes of terse negotiation and haggling, he finally gave in and refunded my money.

The Result: I will never purchase anything from that store again.

New Year's Eve was a different story. Every year, I take my family out for a hike during the day (even in bad weather) and then we go home, shower, and dress up for a night at a local, but highly rated Indian restaurant (our favorite food). Now you probably know most (if not all) restaurants jack-up their prices for New Year's Eve or have 'special party menus' which are the same items for much higher prices.

Not this restaurant. In fact, they had the same pricing they always do, but in addition, they offered free dessert for my whole family — no charge — wishing us a very happy new year. So what the store was really saying to me was, "YES! We love you! We appreciate your business!" Now, how much did those desserts really cost the restaurant? To be honest, with all the food and beverages, I spent almost $200 for our meal (and we had leftovers for the next two days!).

The message I'm trying to illustrate and convey is this:

When you interact with your clients and customers, is there any time during the relationship where you say, "NO"?

And more importantly, do you find yourself setting up opportunities to say, "YES"?

It's sometimes the difference between a very happy and satisfied customer and no customer.

What do you do in your business to deliver delightful customer service?

P.S. Arc'teryx is still a great product, we will just purchase it at a different store.

How To Start Fresh In 2011.

We humans are a wily bunch nervous animals. We sometimes let our thinking and facts guide us and other times we let our gut and emotions guide us. At this time of the year, many of us look back at the preceding year and become very critical of our status, behaviors, actions, and results. We kneel and shake our fists to the sky and promise we will change for the better.

And then we start our regular journey — we stick to our new way of life for a little while — a few days, weeks, or months. And then something trips us up — an external influencer, a forgotten promise, or our old friend . . . procrastination. At that moment, all of our fortitude, our plans, and our dreams of change suddenly disappear in an instant. And we replace them with condemnation, past thinking, and surrender. We begin to hate ourselves and think we 'lost our chance' to change in 2011.

Let's change that this year.

I teach this system to my clients every year and most of the time (even I'm not perfect) it works. Enjoy!

1. Make a clear decision on what you're going to change in 2011. Be honest and focus on what really needs changing. Start cutting out pictures of the new you — your new career, your new body, your new situation.
2. Set parameters of your journey. Get a piece of paper and write down where you are and where you ultimately want to be. When you start a trip, you always have a starting point and a destination. You need to do the same thing — make a "AAA TripTik" for your journey.
3. Break up your trip into easily attainable segments. If you are losing weight, set to lose a small amount each week. If you are going after prospects, set your number at what you usually hit each day and then increase it slightly. If you are looking for a new position, begin by targeting and scheduling lunches with key contacts.
4. Build in buffers. This is important — and where most people trip up. Life comes at us quickly and we might forget or drop the ball. Or as I say, airplanes are off-course most of the time, the pilot continuously reorients them back on course. Schedule areas/times if we miss our target, we have the ability to jump right back on board.
5. Track, Track, Track. This is the final step - monitor and measure your progress. If you go below what you plan or even forget, don't get frustrated and quit. Use one of your buffers and get right back on track. The secret is always moving forward — if you drop off, just begin again.

Congratulate yourself — you are taking the first step to change something in your life. Understand, there are going to be a lot of detractors out there trying to talk you out of your behavior, your actions, your beliefs. It always seems they pop up just at the right time when your are at your weakest and they prey on your insecurities to make fun of your plan or progress. Smile and stay on course.

Consistency is the key to your success. Like the ocean, there are soft waves and hard tsunamis, but the water still flows in and out. Keep going, stay true to your course and you will amaze yourself!

How I Invited Awe Into My Life.

Last year about this time at church, my minister, Bonnie Bardot, offered the congregation to choose a paper star out of a basket during the service. Each star had a word on them — Celebrate, Inspire, and Drive Badly. Just kidding on the last one. We were told to keep the star during the year and focus on it from time to time. Guess what star I chose? AWE

AWE - I have no idea what AWE is. Oh yes, I know the definition, but I’ve never spoken it in in a sentence. Frankly, I find it hard to say in the past tense - AWED.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines AWE as: An emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority - stood in awe of the king - regard nature's wonders with awe.

Some of AWE’s synonyms are: Admiration, Amazement, Astonishment, Wonder, and Wonderment. That’s cool.

But the archaic definition of AWE is even more fun — Dread or Terror. Oh my.

For the life of me, I had no idea how AWE could fit into my life.

So I went home with my star and taped it on my office wall the next day, right near the door so I would see it. And let it be. The first few months - nothing really happened. Frankly, I forgot about it.

But then something weird occurred when leaving my office. I saw the star. And it made me think of any AWE-inspiring things I’ve noticed. I started writing them down. Here’s a few:

I am awed and inspired when early in the morning after it snows, nature is so silent.

I am awed and astonished while working on their homework, I see a spark go off in my son's heads when they get a concept or a new idea - a virtual lightbulb appears.

I am awed with grace when I sit in church and genuinely feel peace during prayers. I am also awed when those prayers work!

I am awed with the genius of many people in this world who not only come up with incredibly powerful ideas and machines that change our lives but they move us forward by leaps and bounds.

I am also awed with dread when I see people in power make extremely stupid decisions that will adversely affect their citizens while clearly helping the very few stay in power and remain outrageously rich.

Finally, I am awed when I see people turn from despair and hatred and embrace our true nature of love, understanding, and acceptance.

That’s AWE to me.

Where is AWE in your life? I would love to hear from you.

Want To Be The Best? Study Pixar.

Ask one of my clients. Or one of my friends. I can't stop talking about Pixar. From their first movie, Toy Story, in 1995, to their latest, Toy Story 3, in 2010, ask yourself, has any filmmaker or filmmaking collective had a run as glorious and uninterrupted as Pixar's? They've never missed. Never. Why?

In my observable opinion, because of a few rules:

• They take their time. Most of their films take three years to make.
• They look at the whole movie - not just the story, or the characters, or the voices, or the technology - they make it all work.
• If it doesn't work, they revamp and make it work (like Toy Story 2 or Ratatouille).
• They speak to all generations in their movies, not just kids. I've never laughed as hard, or cried (yes, cried) at their movies.
• They don't insult the intelligence of their audience.
• They do the BEST that they can. All the time.

So I have a present for you this new year — a young Brazilian filmmaker spent 11 days watching Pixar's assorted films, painstakingly selecting the more than 500 clips that make up this touching ode to the house that Toy Story built.

Leandro Copperfield is the burgeoning 21-year-old filmmaker who assembled these clips. And, for the most part, it's a moving testament to Pixar's technical artistry and emotional facility. (I say "for the most part" because of one or two ill-advised missteps: Did we really need a split-screen between Ratatouille and Goodfellas? No, as it breaks the spell that Copperfield was so effectively casting.)

When you are watching it — see how these business rules apply to your situation? Use Pixar as an exemplar to how you manage your people, strategize new initiatives, and grow your business.

It's the most magnificent seven minutes you will ever experience (watch it in HD1080 and full screen, you'll thank me).

What's Wrong With Your Life?

There is a 'must-see' movie coming out in February 2011 called 'I Am', by director Tom Shadyac. It centers around his journey to answer two simple questions: "What's wrong with our world?" and "What can we do about it?"

He meets and interviews a variety of thinkers and doers — remarkable men and women from the worlds of science, philosophy, and faith. Here's the trailer:

I suggest you ensure that you grab as many people as you can and go see it in February. It will probably change your life.

Now this isn't a Rich Gee blog post until I pose a tough questions to my readers:

"What's wrong with your life?" and "What can you do about it?" Oh yes, and one more: "Who can help you?"

Yesterday, my post focused on your 2011 goals (it's right here) and one of the questions was, "What sucked in 2011?" I hoped my solutions helped you construct a plan to make those specific, sucky items go away.

But today I'm asking a more philosophical question — "What's wrong with your life?" What are the more global things that keep your success off-kilter, off-balance, or in Tom Shadyac's vernacular, 'wrong'?

And I don't want to hear, "I don't know". You know. You know exactly what it is — you're just afraid of saying it out loud. Today, tomorrow, sometime this year . . . I want you to shout it out. Loudly.

And then I want you to think of two things:

1. What can you do about it?
2. Who can help you?

Don't just sit there and wallow — 2011 is your manifesto to change it. To take action. TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

And the best part is — there are people that can help you. Your friends, colleagues, family, and yes, complete strangers that you haven't even met yet.

So 2011 is your manifesto to get out there and get back in balance. "The Shift is about to hit the fan."

P.S. As this year comes to a close, I want to say thank you so much for making my blog and my business an unbelievable success in 2010. Thank you and buckle up for some more fun in 2011!

2011: What Do You Want To Change?

Buckle Up — this is going to be a fun ride. Answer these three questions with fast, (1-2 word) specific responses . . . don't just write 'work', write 'client calls', or 'Penske Project'. Don't just write 'business', write 'BNI connecting' or 'new website', or 'product expansion'. I'm looking for you to blurt out items without a lot of introspection. I want your gut responses:

In 2010:

1. What was great?
2. What sucked?
3. What surprised you?

Why 1-2 word responses? I want this to be a fast assessment that only you will see. Keeping it short, easy and personalized will ensure you'll do it. If it was any longer or introspective, you probably wouldn't find the time.

You can't plan for the future without measuring where you are currently. It's like going on a trip — you need to have a destination, a route to get there, and a starting point. I like to start my clients with this as a starting point.

Now you know where you've been and what has happened to you, let's begin to plan your new roadmap for 2011.

In 2011:

1. Based upon what was great in 2010 - how can you do more of it this year? How can you expand it? How can you branch out to other areas? Who can help you grow it bigger and stronger?
2. Based upon what sucked in 2010 — how can you do less of this? Was it because you spent a lot of time doing it and it didn't pay off? Did you hate doing it? What else can you do to get the same or similar results? Who can do it for you so you can do other things that leverage your strengths?
3. Based upon what surprised you in 2010 — why did it surprise you? Was it an action or activity delivering much, much more than you ever dreamed? Was it something you've never done before and found it was exciting to do?  What can you do in 2011 to make your successful surprise more powerful?

These simple guideposts will allow you to either toss bad behaviors or occurrences quickly and allow you to easily identify, quantify, and deliver new growth based upon your strengths.

Make 2011 a powerful and defining moment for your career and life.

Is Your Boss A Psychopath?

You've probably worked for or with one sometime in your career. I'm not using this word lightly — I really mean psychopath — a person who exhibits a cluster of distinctive personality traits, the most significant of which is an utter lack of conscience. They also have huge egos, short tempers, and an appetite for excitement -- a dangerous mix.

This is a tough post to write, but I usually have 2-3 clients a year who describe their boss with a certain set of characteristics. For me, it sets off a series of alarms and I help them decide to stay where they are or move on. Because at the end of the day, you cannot change a person's behavioral makeup.

Almost 10 years ago, I read a very interesting report, written by Robert Hercz, titled "Psychopaths Among Us". In it, he relates certain descriptions of a 'subclinical psychopath' — one who is not overtly violent:

"They're the charming predators who, unable to form real emotional bonds, find and use vulnerable women for sex and money (and inevitably abandon them). They're the con men like Christophe Rocancourt, and they're the stockbrokers and promoters who caused Forbes magazine to call the Vancouver Stock Exchange (now part of the Canadian Venture Exchange) the scam capital of the world. (Hare has said that if he couldn't study psychopaths in prisons, the Stock Exchange would have been his second choice.)

Psychopaths can be found in legislatures, hospitals, and used-car lots. They're your neighbour, your boss, and your blind date. Because they have no conscience, they're natural predators. If you didn't have a conscience, you'd be one too.

Psychopaths love chaos and hate rules, so they're comfortable in the fast-moving modern corporation. Dr. Paul Babiak, an industrial-organizational psychologist based near New York City, is in the process of writing a book with Bob Hare called 'Snakes In Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work: Cons, Bullies and the Puppetmaster'. The subtitle refers to the three broad classes of psychopaths Babiak has encountered in the workplace.

Babiak says psychopaths have three motivations: thrill-seeking, the pathological desire to win, and the inclination to hurt people. "They'll jump on any opportunity that allows them to do those things," he says. "If something better comes along, they'll drop you and move on."

How can you tell if your boss is a psychopath? It's not easy, says Babiak. "They have traits similar to ideal leaders. You would expect an ideal leader to be narcissistic, self-centred, dominant, very assertive, maybe to the point of being aggressive. Those things can easily be mistaken for the aggression and bullying that a psychopath would demonstrate. The ability to get people to follow you is a leadership trait, but being charismatic to the point of manipulating people is a psychopathic trait. They can sometimes be confused."

Once inside a company, psychopaths can be hard to excise. Babiak tells of a salesperson and psychopath -- call him John -- who was performing badly but not suffering for it. John was managing his boss -- flattering him, taking him out for drinks, flying to his side when he was in trouble. In return, his boss covered for him by hiding John's poor performance. The arrangement lasted until John's boss was moved. When his replacement called John to task for his abysmal sales numbers, John was a step ahead.

He'd already gone to the company president with a set of facts he used to argue that his new boss, and not he, should be fired. But he made a crucial mistake. "It was actually stolen data," Babiak says. "The only way [John] could have obtained it would be for him to have gone into a file into which no one was supposed to go. That seemed to be enough, and he was fired rather than the boss. Even so, in the end, he walked out with a company car, a bag of money, and a good reference."

He's "not comfortable" with one researcher's estimate that one in ten executives is a psychopath, but he has noticed that they are attracted to positions of power. When he describes employees such as John to other executives, they know exactly whom he's talking about. "I was talking to a group of human-resources executives yesterday," says Babiak, "and every one of them said, you know, I think I've got somebody like that."

I post this report because I find that some of my clients go for years blaming themselves for poor performance, getting fired, or not making the grade. Sometimes, it's not them — it's probably their boss.

Have you ever wondered if you worked for a 'subclinical psychopath'?

A Simple Act Elevates All.

By Yvonne Abraham at the Boston Globe Everybody was waiting for Rudy.

On Tuesday night, Patty and Rick Parker were in their cramped kitchen with their 8-year-old son Ben. Dinner was over. Bedtime was near.

Ben’s twin brother, Sammy, lay on a cot in the narrow hallway just outside the kitchen. Unable to see or speak or control his limbs, he coughed or let out a little moan every now and then. Rick and Patty took turns feeding Sammy, who has cerebral palsy, through a stomach tube. He cooed when they kissed his face or stroked his cheek, and when they cooed back, he opened his mouth into a wide, joyful O.

A few feet away was the narrow, winding stairway that is the family’s biggest burden lately.

Which is where 17-year-old Rudy’s simple, life-changing act of kindness comes in.

Until recently, Rick carried Sammy up those 14 stairs to his bedroom each night. But a few months ago, Rick had major surgery for a life-threatening heart condition, and now he can’t lift much at all, let alone a 75-pound child.

“We thought Rick was going to die, and we were terrified,’’ Patty recalled. “We knew right away he had to stop carrying Sam.’’

Patty couldn’t carry him, either. Desperate, she called her pediatrician, who put her in touch with Elizabeth Paquette, the nurse at Malden Catholic High School. Paquette said she’d take care of it. The boys at Malden Catholic are taught to embrace service: She’d find plenty of students to help.

Rudy Favard was the first kid Paquette came across after that call. At Malden Catholic on a partial scholarship from the Catholic Schools Foundation, this son of Haitian immigrants was one of Paquette’s treasures. The linebacker, cocaptain of the football team and honor roll student was always willing to lend a hand.

The nurse had barely begun telling Rudy about the Parkers before he said he’d help. Another boy would fill in for Rudy on game nights. And a third boy was on standby in case neither of the others could make it.

When Paquette brought the boys to meet the family for the first time, the Parkers cried.

“Just to see this outpouring of people,’’ Rick Parker began, his eyes welling at the memory. “To see that these people were willing to put their hands and feet to what they believed…’’

It is profoundly isolating to have a child as severely disabled as Sammy. It’s hard even for well-meaning friends to understand the immense strain of his all-consuming needs. Patty and Rick — who tried for 8 years to get pregnant before Ben and Sam were born — grieve for one son’s lost potential every day, even as they struggle to give the other as normal a life as possible.

“You plan for your child’s future, but it’s hard to do that for Sam,’’ Rick said. “You have this pathway he should have taken, and the pathway he did take, and you don’t want to look at either one.’’

And over it all hangs the certainty that Sammy’s condition will never improve — even as he gets bigger and heavier.

Into this world of love and hurt comes Rudy. Four nights a week, he leaves his homework and makes the 10-minute drive to the Parker house. Around 8 p.m., he carries Sammy upstairs, chats a bit, hugs everybody, and heads home to finish his work. After considerable effort, the Parkers convinced Rudy to take enough money to cover gas, with a little left over.

In the few months the Parkers have known him, Rudy has become not just a help with Sammy, but a salve for their pain. He and Rick talk about football. Patty quizzes him on girls. Ben usually parks himself as close to Rudy as possible, looking up at him adoringly. And most nights, Sam will tremble with excitement as Rudy picks him up.

“It’s like family,’’ said the shy senior. It goes both ways: The Parkers were on the field with Rudy’s mother the night Malden Catholic honored its senior football players.

And so Rudy had barely knocked on the door Tuesday night before Ben was at it, jumping up and down, yelling, “Rudy is here! Rudy is here!’’

He greeted the Parkers, and went over to Sammy, gently lifting the boy’s left arm and sliding his hands under his back, the way Rudy’s father, a professional caregiver, had shown him. He lifted Sammy and held him close to his chest, and as the boy made his joyful O, Rudy carefully maneuvered him around the corners on the narrow stairway.

You couldn’t help but be struck by the painful contrast between the two boys: The robust athlete cradling the pale, helpless child; the young man preparing to go out into the world carrying someone who never will.

It’s a comparison lost on nobody, least of all Rudy himself.

“Can I ask you something?’’ he said, sitting in the Parkers’ living room after Sammy was asleep. “Is it OK if this article is more about Sam than me?’’

Why?

“He’s done more for me than I’ve done for him,’’ Rudy said. “There are times when I don’t want to go to practice, and then I look at Sam. By God’s grace, I can do what I’m doing, so I should keep it up. I’ve never been one to complain a lot, but just seeing Sam reaffirms everything, you know?’’

The Parkers won’t have Rudy for long. He’s already been accepted at four colleges, and others are courting him. Where he goes depends on financial aid and football.

The Parkers hope to be out of this cramped house and into a bigger one — with no stairs — before Rudy leaves town in search of his degree.

Until then, Rudy will bound up to the modest, pale green house on Fairmount Street. He’ll carry Sammy up to his cozy room. Then, for a little while, he’ll carry the Parkers somewhere better, too.

Yvonne Abraham is a Globe columnist. She can be reached at abraham@globe.com. Here are all her columns.

Take A Little Break To Laugh This Season.

Do It Anyway.

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway.

By Kent M. Keith (originally attributed to Mother Theresa)

3 Ways To Believe In Your Ability To Succeed.

Well — Do You? My family and I just watched the film, 'The Polar Express' last night with Tom Hanks. It’s a wonderful movie — great story, wonderful animation, and the acting is top notch.

One of the themes is the main character’s ability to ‘Believe’ in the existence of Santa Claus. It’s all focuses on hearing one of the sleighbells from Santa’s sleigh . . . oh  . . . I’m getting off-course here.

Do you listen to Radiolab? It’s a radio show and podcast from NPR that delves into the areas where the boundaries blur between science, philosophy, and human experience. It’s a cool show.

A few months ago, they did a show on how we deceive or lie to ourselves and how that benefits an athlete's performance. Their ‘elite belief’ in a sport requires a mental focus and intensity that is different from the way that many others approach tasks.

So to push themselves — they lie.

In fact, I've seen people become very successful in the business world because of their ability to self-deceive. Their positive attitude and confidence sometimes cloaks their lack of competence, but they can go far if their subordinates perform well and make them look good.

Even in situations where these executives or businesspeople fail, they are more likely to bounce back quickly because they do not dwell on failures and, in fact, do not even recognize they have failed. It's fascinating to watch, and for others, frustrating, because they do not have this trait and too often question their abilities and dwell on setbacks too much (do you do this?).

All this builds up to your ability to believe in your success. Here are some ways you can bridge that gap:

1. Next time you have that errant negative thought about yourself, an action, a project you’re working on, say to yourself, “Is this negative thinking moving me forward or backward? What thinking will rocket me forward?”
2. Next time someone says to you, “You can’t do that.” or “That’s not the way we do things around here.”, immediately question their beliefs and motives. I’ve found that THEY are usually WRONG.
3. Next time you are questioning yourself about an action, just do it. In my 20 years of corporate life and 10 years coaching, I’ve found it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission. Take action.

And BELIEVE in yourself, your abilities, and what you can do. YOU can move MOUNTAINS.

How do you believe in yourself? Do you 'fool' your thinking? What techniques do you use?