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Why I Love Starbucks.

It's the typical hype cycle. A new product or service is introduced. It grows exponentially to take over an industry. Everyone loves it. Accordingly, they all can't stop talking about it. It goes viral and the media picks up on it. It gets bigger. Then people find that it will not solve ALL their problems. They begin to talk it down because it's 'in' to talk it down. The media picks up on it again, whips around 180° and begins to tear it down. Then at some point, it all levels/evens out.

Starbucks is at this point now — they rode the hype roller coaster over the past number of years. But I still love them. Why?

It's the typical hype cycle.

  • A new product or service is introduced.
  • It grows exponentially to take over an industry.
  • Everyone loves it.
  • Accordingly, they all can't stop talking about it.
  • It goes viral and the media picks up on it.
  • It gets bigger.
  • Then people find that it will not solve ALL their problems.
  • They begin to talk it down because it's 'in' to talk it down.
  • The media picks up on it again, whips around 180° and begins to tear it down.
  • Then at some point, it all levels/evens out.

Starbucks is at this point now — they rode the hype roller coaster over the past number of years. But I still love them. Why?

They fit perfectly into my business model. I run a 21st century business:

  1. I have a home office where I coach.
  2. I have a professional office in Stamford where I meet clients, hold workshops, and coach.
  3. I'm regularly on the road to travel, meet new people, network, and bump into friends and colleagues.

Starbucks is perfect for #3. I have a special place to stop off and hook into my email and network (free wi-fi). Their products are consistent from store to store, so I always get my Venti Zen Green Tea (with only one teabag) for $2.07 (a deal). Their staff is always polite, engaging, and sometimes even fun to interact with. I meet clients in-person to go over their strategy for 2011 instead of dragging them down to my office. And I write my daily blog (as I am doing right now).

What does this mean to you? Well . . . Starbucks is a business entity that I love. In 2011, how can you position your business to make your clients LOVE you? Think about it:

  • Do you deliver a consistent customer experience where you make your client feel comfortable? Do you develop a 'safe space' where they can grow, relax, expand, and grow their business or career?
  • Do you provide a flexibility to allow them to personalize their experience?
  • Do you offer various locations (physical and virtual) to allow them to use your products and services?
  • Do you try new ideas, new products, new services?
  • Do you have a loyalty/membership program to reward and retain your best customers?
  • Do you have an upsell area to get your clients to buy more stuff?
  • Do you partner with related industries to grow your business?

You might not like Starbucks and that's fine. That's not what this post is about (it's how I love Starbucks). But you can't argue that they have a compelling model that scared market leaders like McDonald's and Dunkin Donuts to mimic a lot of their offerings.

This year, what ideas can you steal from Starbucks and make them your own?

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Do You Deliver Good Or Bad Customer Service?

Two things happened to me during the time between Christmas and New Year's Eve that clearly defined what I call Good & Bad Customer Service.

Two things happened to me during the time between Christmas and New Year's Eve that clearly defined what I call Good & Bad Customer Service. I bought a really cool Arc'teryx Winter Jacket for my wife. I was so excited I found the perfect color (she loves Arc'teryx - she has a few of their tops). The service at our local store was helpful and got me in and out ASAP. It's a high-end establishment, most of their prices are top dollar (even the sale items), but I like going there because they always have the best clothing.

Unfortunately, on Christmas morning, when my wife tried on the jacket, it was a bit too big. So we brought it back within a few days of purchase with the receipt. Guess what happened? The clerk immediately said, "We cannot give you a refund because it was a sale item. See the small (size: 5-point) print on the bottom of your receipt?" No I didn't and it wasn't elaborated during the initial sale.

To make matters worse, my wife and I went through the store looking for a suitable replacement, but it was virtually empty due to the holidays. I wanted my money back - I had the receipt, I had the merchandise in perfect condition, and virtually everything in the store was on sale at that time.

So what the store was really saying to me was, "NO! Bad Customer! You must play by our rules!" So I put on my best Rich Gee smile and politely asked for the manager. After 5-10 minutes of terse negotiation and haggling, he finally gave in and refunded my money.

The Result: I will never purchase anything from that store again.

New Year's Eve was a different story. Every year, I take my family out for a hike during the day (even in bad weather) and then we go home, shower, and dress up for a night at a local, but highly rated Indian restaurant (our favorite food). Now you probably know most (if not all) restaurants jack-up their prices for New Year's Eve or have 'special party menus' which are the same items for much higher prices.

Not this restaurant. In fact, they had the same pricing they always do, but in addition, they offered free dessert for my whole family — no charge — wishing us a very happy new year. So what the store was really saying to me was, "YES! We love you! We appreciate your business!" Now, how much did those desserts really cost the restaurant? To be honest, with all the food and beverages, I spent almost $200 for our meal (and we had leftovers for the next two days!).

The message I'm trying to illustrate and convey is this:

When you interact with your clients and customers, is there any time during the relationship where you say, "NO"?

And more importantly, do you find yourself setting up opportunities to say, "YES"?

It's sometimes the difference between a very happy and satisfied customer and no customer.

What do you do in your business to deliver delightful customer service?

P.S. Arc'teryx is still a great product, we will just purchase it at a different store.

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How To Start Fresh In 2011.

We humans are a wily bunch nervous animals. We sometimes let our thinking and facts guide us and sometimes we let our gut and emotions guide us. At this time of the year, many of us look back at the preceding year and become very critical of our status, behaviors, actions, and results. We kneel and shake our fists to the sky and promise we will change for the better.

We humans are a wily bunch nervous animals. We sometimes let our thinking and facts guide us and other times we let our gut and emotions guide us. At this time of the year, many of us look back at the preceding year and become very critical of our status, behaviors, actions, and results. We kneel and shake our fists to the sky and promise we will change for the better.

And then we start our regular journey — we stick to our new way of life for a little while — a few days, weeks, or months. And then something trips us up — an external influencer, a forgotten promise, or our old friend . . . procrastination. At that moment, all of our fortitude, our plans, and our dreams of change suddenly disappear in an instant. And we replace them with condemnation, past thinking, and surrender. We begin to hate ourselves and think we 'lost our chance' to change in 2011.

Let's change that this year.

I teach this system to my clients every year and most of the time (even I'm not perfect) it works. Enjoy!

  1. Make a clear decision on what you're going to change in 2011. Be honest and focus on what really needs changing. Start cutting out pictures of the new you — your new career, your new body, your new situation.
  2. Set parameters of your journey. Get a piece of paper and write down where you are and where you ultimately want to be. When you start a trip, you always have a starting point and a destination. You need to do the same thing — make a "AAA TripTik" for your journey.
  3. Break up your trip into easily attainable segments. If you are losing weight, set to lose a small amount each week. If you are going after prospects, set your number at what you usually hit each day and then increase it slightly. If you are looking for a new position, begin by targeting and scheduling lunches with key contacts.
  4. Build in buffers. This is important — and where most people trip up. Life comes at us quickly and we might forget or drop the ball. Or as I say, airplanes are off-course most of the time, the pilot continuously reorients them back on course. Schedule areas/times if we miss our target, we have the ability to jump right back on board.
  5. Track, Track, Track. This is the final step - monitor and measure your progress. If you go below what you plan or even forget, don't get frustrated and quit. Use one of your buffers and get right back on track. The secret is always moving forward — if you drop off, just begin again.

Congratulate yourself — you are taking the first step to change something in your life. Understand, there are going to be a lot of detractors out there trying to talk you out of your behavior, your actions, your beliefs. It always seems they pop up just at the right time when your are at your weakest and they prey on your insecurities to make fun of your plan or progress. Smile and stay on course.

Consistency is the key to your success. Like the ocean, there are soft waves and hard tsunamis, but the water still flows in and out. Keep going, stay true to your course and you will amaze yourself!

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How I Invited Awe Into My Life.

Last year about this time at church, my minister, Bonnie Bardot, offered the congregation to choose a paper star out of a basket during the service. Each star had a word on them — Celebrate, Inspire, and Drive Badly. Just kidding on the last one.

Last year about this time at church, my minister, Bonnie Bardot, offered the congregation to choose a paper star out of a basket during the service. Each star had a word on them — Celebrate, Inspire, and Drive Badly. Just kidding on the last one. We were told to keep the star during the year and focus on it from time to time. Guess what star I chose? AWE

AWE - I have no idea what AWE is. Oh yes, I know the definition, but I’ve never spoken it in in a sentence. Frankly, I find it hard to say in the past tense - AWED.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines AWE as: An emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority - stood in awe of the king - regard nature's wonders with awe.

Some of AWE’s synonyms are: Admiration, Amazement, Astonishment, Wonder, and Wonderment. That’s cool.

But the archaic definition of AWE is even more fun — Dread or Terror. Oh my.

For the life of me, I had no idea how AWE could fit into my life.

So I went home with my star and taped it on my office wall the next day, right near the door so I would see it. And let it be. The first few months - nothing really happened. Frankly, I forgot about it.

But then something weird occurred when leaving my office. I saw the star. And it made me think of any AWE-inspiring things I’ve noticed. I started writing them down. Here’s a few:

I am awed and inspired when early in the morning after it snows, nature is so silent.

I am awed and astonished while working on their homework, I see a spark go off in my son's heads when they get a concept or a new idea - a virtual lightbulb appears.

I am awed with grace when I sit in church and genuinely feel peace during prayers. I am also awed when those prayers work!

I am awed with the genius of many people in this world who not only come up with incredibly powerful ideas and machines that change our lives but they move us forward by leaps and bounds.

I am also awed with dread when I see people in power make extremely stupid decisions that will adversely affect their citizens while clearly helping the very few stay in power and remain outrageously rich.

Finally, I am awed when I see people turn from despair and hatred and embrace our true nature of love, understanding, and acceptance.

That’s AWE to me.

Where is AWE in your life? I would love to hear from you.

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Want To Be The Best? Study Pixar.

Ask one of my clients. Or one of my friends. I can't stop talking about Pixar. From their first movie, Toy Story, in 1995, to their latest, Toy Story 3, in 2010, ask yourself, has any filmmaker or filmmaking collective had a run as glorious and uninterrupted as Pixar's? They've never missed. Never. Why? In my observable opinion, because of a few rules:

Ask one of my clients. Or one of my friends. I can't stop talking about Pixar. From their first movie, Toy Story, in 1995, to their latest, Toy Story 3, in 2010, ask yourself, has any filmmaker or filmmaking collective had a run as glorious and uninterrupted as Pixar's? They've never missed. Never. Why?

In my observable opinion, because of a few rules:

  • They take their time. Most of their films take three years to make.
  • They look at the whole movie - not just the story, or the characters, or the voices, or the technology - they make it all work.
  • If it doesn't work, they revamp and make it work (like Toy Story 2 or Ratatouille).
  • They speak to all generations in their movies, not just kids. I've never laughed as hard, or cried (yes, cried) at their movies.
  • They don't insult the intelligence of their audience.
  • They do the BEST that they can. All the time.

So I have a present for you this new year — a young Brazilian filmmaker spent 11 days watching Pixar's assorted films, painstakingly selecting the more than 500 clips that make up this touching ode to the house that Toy Story built.

Leandro Copperfield is the burgeoning 21-year-old filmmaker who assembled these clips. And, for the most part, it's a moving testament to Pixar's technical artistry and emotional facility. (I say "for the most part" because of one or two ill-advised missteps: Did we really need a split-screen between Ratatouille and Goodfellas? No, as it breaks the spell that Copperfield was so effectively casting.)

When you are watching it — see how these business rules apply to your situation? Use Pixar as an exemplar to how you manage your people, strategize new initiatives, and grow your business.

It's the most magnificent seven minutes you will ever experience (watch it in HD1080 and full screen, you'll thank me).

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What's Wrong With Your Life?

There is a 'must-see' movie coming out in February 2011 called 'I Am', by director Tom Shadyac. It centers around his journey to answer two simple questions: "What's wrong with our world?" and "What can we do about it?"

He meets and interviews a variety of thinkers and doers — remarkable men and women from the worlds of science, philosophy, and faith. Here's the trailer:

There is a 'must-see' movie coming out in February 2011 called 'I Am', by director Tom Shadyac. It centers around his journey to answer two simple questions: "What's wrong with our world?" and "What can we do about it?"

He meets and interviews a variety of thinkers and doers — remarkable men and women from the worlds of science, philosophy, and faith. Here's the trailer:

I suggest you ensure that you grab as many people as you can and go see it in February. It will probably change your life.

Now this isn't a Rich Gee blog post until I pose a tough questions to my readers:

"What's wrong with your life?" and "What can you do about it?" Oh yes, and one more: "Who can help you?"

Yesterday, my post focused on your 2011 goals (it's right here) and one of the questions was, "What sucked in 2011?" I hoped my solutions helped you construct a plan to make those specific, sucky items go away.

But today I'm asking a more philosophical question — "What's wrong with your life?" What are the more global things that keep your success off-kilter, off-balance, or in Tom Shadyac's vernacular, 'wrong'?

And I don't want to hear, "I don't know". You know. You know exactly what it is — you're just afraid of saying it out loud. Today, tomorrow, sometime this year . . . I want you to shout it out. Loudly.

And then I want you to think of two things:

  1. What can you do about it?
  2. Who can help you?

Don't just sit there and wallow — 2011 is your manifesto to change it. To take action. TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

And the best part is — there are people that can help you. Your friends, colleagues, family, and yes, complete strangers that you haven't even met yet.

So 2011 is your manifesto to get out there and get back in balance. "The Shift is about to hit the fan."

P.S. As this year comes to a close, I want to say thank you so much for making my blog and my business an unbelievable success in 2010. Thank you and buckle up for some more fun in 2011!

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2011: What Do You Want To Change?

Buckle Up — this is going to be a fun ride. Answer these three questions with fast, (1-2 word) specific responses . . . don't just write 'work', write 'client calls', or 'Penske Project'. Don't just write 'business', write 'BNI connecting' or 'new website', or 'product expansion'. I'm looking for you to blurt out items without a lot of introspection. I want your gut responses:

Buckle Up — this is going to be a fun ride. Answer these three questions with fast, (1-2 word) specific responses . . . don't just write 'work', write 'client calls', or 'Penske Project'. Don't just write 'business', write 'BNI connecting' or 'new website', or 'product expansion'. I'm looking for you to blurt out items without a lot of introspection. I want your gut responses:

In 2010:

  1. What was great?
  2. What sucked?
  3. What surprised you?

Why 1-2 word responses? I want this to be a fast assessment that only you will see. Keeping it short, easy and personalized will ensure you'll do it. If it was any longer or introspective, you probably wouldn't find the time.

You can't plan for the future without measuring where you are currently. It's like going on a trip — you need to have a destination, a route to get there, and a starting point. I like to start my clients with this as a starting point.

Now you know where you've been and what has happened to you, let's begin to plan your new roadmap for 2011.

In 2011:

  1. Based upon what was great in 2010 - how can you do more of it this year? How can you expand it? How can you branch out to other areas? Who can help you grow it bigger and stronger?
  2. Based upon what sucked in 2010 — how can you do less of this? Was it because you spent a lot of time doing it and it didn't pay off? Did you hate doing it? What else can you do to get the same or similar results? Who can do it for you so you can do other things that leverage your strengths?
  3. Based upon what surprised you in 2010 — why did it surprise you? Was it an action or activity delivering much, much more than you ever dreamed? Was it something you've never done before and found it was exciting to do?  What can you do in 2011 to make your successful surprise more powerful?

These simple guideposts will allow you to either toss bad behaviors or occurrences quickly and allow you to easily identify, quantify, and deliver new growth based upon your strengths.

Make 2011 a powerful and defining moment for your career and life.

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Is Your Boss A Psychopath?

You’ve probably worked for or with one sometime in your career. I’m not using this word lightly — I really mean psychopath — a person who exhibits a cluster of distinctive personality traits, the most significant of which is an utter lack of conscience. They also have huge egos, short tempers, and an appetite for excitement — a dangerous mix.

This is a tough post to write, but I usually have 2-3 clients a year who describe their boss with a certain set of characteristics. For me, it sets off a series of alarms and I help them decide to stay where they are or move on. Because at the end of the day, you cannot change a person’s behavioral makeup.

You've probably worked for or with one sometime in your career. I'm not using this word lightly — I really mean psychopath — a person who exhibits a cluster of distinctive personality traits, the most significant of which is an utter lack of conscience. They also have huge egos, short tempers, and an appetite for excitement -- a dangerous mix.

This is a tough post to write, but I usually have 2-3 clients a year who describe their boss with a certain set of characteristics. For me, it sets off a series of alarms and I help them decide to stay where they are or move on. Because at the end of the day, you cannot change a person's behavioral makeup.

Almost 10 years ago, I read a very interesting report, written by Robert Hercz, titled "Psychopaths Among Us". In it, he relates certain descriptions of a 'subclinical psychopath' — one who is not overtly violent:

"They're the charming predators who, unable to form real emotional bonds, find and use vulnerable women for sex and money (and inevitably abandon them). They're the con men like Christophe Rocancourt, and they're the stockbrokers and promoters who caused Forbes magazine to call the Vancouver Stock Exchange (now part of the Canadian Venture Exchange) the scam capital of the world. (Hare has said that if he couldn't study psychopaths in prisons, the Stock Exchange would have been his second choice.)


Psychopaths can be found in legislatures, hospitals, and used-car lots. They're your neighbour, your boss, and your blind date. Because they have no conscience, they're natural predators. If you didn't have a conscience, you'd be one too.


Psychopaths love chaos and hate rules, so they're comfortable in the fast-moving modern corporation. Dr. Paul Babiak, an industrial-organizational psychologist based near New York City, is in the process of writing a book with Bob Hare called 'Snakes In Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work: Cons, Bullies and the Puppetmaster'. The subtitle refers to the three broad classes of psychopaths Babiak has encountered in the workplace.


Babiak says psychopaths have three motivations: thrill-seeking, the pathological desire to win, and the inclination to hurt people. "They'll jump on any opportunity that allows them to do those things," he says. "If something better comes along, they'll drop you and move on."


How can you tell if your boss is a psychopath? It's not easy, says Babiak. "They have traits similar to ideal leaders. You would expect an ideal leader to be narcissistic, self-centred, dominant, very assertive, maybe to the point of being aggressive. Those things can easily be mistaken for the aggression and bullying that a psychopath would demonstrate. The ability to get people to follow you is a leadership trait, but being charismatic to the point of manipulating people is a psychopathic trait. They can sometimes be confused."


Once inside a company, psychopaths can be hard to excise. Babiak tells of a salesperson and psychopath -- call him John -- who was performing badly but not suffering for it. John was managing his boss -- flattering him, taking him out for drinks, flying to his side when he was in trouble. In return, his boss covered for him by hiding John's poor performance. The arrangement lasted until John's boss was moved. When his replacement called John to task for his abysmal sales numbers, John was a step ahead.


He'd already gone to the company president with a set of facts he used to argue that his new boss, and not he, should be fired. But he made a crucial mistake. "It was actually stolen data," Babiak says. "The only way [John] could have obtained it would be for him to have gone into a file into which no one was supposed to go. That seemed to be enough, and he was fired rather than the boss. Even so, in the end, he walked out with a company car, a bag of money, and a good reference."


He's "not comfortable" with one researcher's estimate that one in ten executives is a psychopath, but he has noticed that they are attracted to positions of power. When he describes employees such as John to other executives, they know exactly whom he's talking about. "I was talking to a group of human-resources executives yesterday," says Babiak, "and every one of them said, you know, I think I've got somebody like that."
I post this report because I find that some of my clients go for years blaming themselves for poor performance, getting fired, or not making the grade. Sometimes, it's not them — it's probably their boss.


Have you ever wondered if you worked for a 'subclinical psychopath'?
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A Simple Act Elevates All.

Everybody was waiting for Rudy. On Tuesday night, Patty and Rick Parker were in their cramped kitchen with their 8-year-old son Ben. Dinner was over. Bedtime was near.

Ben’s twin brother, Sammy, lay on a cot in the narrow hallway just outside the kitchen. Unable to see or speak or control his limbs, he coughed or let out a little moan every now and then. Rick and Patty took turns feeding Sammy, who has cerebral palsy, through a stomach tube. He cooed when they kissed his face or stroked his cheek, and when they cooed back, he opened his mouth into a wide, joyful O.

By Yvonne Abraham at the Boston Globe Everybody was waiting for Rudy.

On Tuesday night, Patty and Rick Parker were in their cramped kitchen with their 8-year-old son Ben. Dinner was over. Bedtime was near.

Ben’s twin brother, Sammy, lay on a cot in the narrow hallway just outside the kitchen. Unable to see or speak or control his limbs, he coughed or let out a little moan every now and then. Rick and Patty took turns feeding Sammy, who has cerebral palsy, through a stomach tube. He cooed when they kissed his face or stroked his cheek, and when they cooed back, he opened his mouth into a wide, joyful O.

A few feet away was the narrow, winding stairway that is the family’s biggest burden lately.

Which is where 17-year-old Rudy’s simple, life-changing act of kindness comes in.

Until recently, Rick carried Sammy up those 14 stairs to his bedroom each night. But a few months ago, Rick had major surgery for a life-threatening heart condition, and now he can’t lift much at all, let alone a 75-pound child.

“We thought Rick was going to die, and we were terrified,’’ Patty recalled. “We knew right away he had to stop carrying Sam.’’

Patty couldn’t carry him, either. Desperate, she called her pediatrician, who put her in touch with Elizabeth Paquette, the nurse at Malden Catholic High School. Paquette said she’d take care of it. The boys at Malden Catholic are taught to embrace service: She’d find plenty of students to help.

Rudy Favard was the first kid Paquette came across after that call. At Malden Catholic on a partial scholarship from the Catholic Schools Foundation, this son of Haitian immigrants was one of Paquette’s treasures. The linebacker, cocaptain of the football team and honor roll student was always willing to lend a hand.

The nurse had barely begun telling Rudy about the Parkers before he said he’d help. Another boy would fill in for Rudy on game nights. And a third boy was on standby in case neither of the others could make it.

When Paquette brought the boys to meet the family for the first time, the Parkers cried.

“Just to see this outpouring of people,’’ Rick Parker began, his eyes welling at the memory. “To see that these people were willing to put their hands and feet to what they believed…’’

It is profoundly isolating to have a child as severely disabled as Sammy. It’s hard even for well-meaning friends to understand the immense strain of his all-consuming needs. Patty and Rick — who tried for 8 years to get pregnant before Ben and Sam were born — grieve for one son’s lost potential every day, even as they struggle to give the other as normal a life as possible.

“You plan for your child’s future, but it’s hard to do that for Sam,’’ Rick said. “You have this pathway he should have taken, and the pathway he did take, and you don’t want to look at either one.’’

And over it all hangs the certainty that Sammy’s condition will never improve — even as he gets bigger and heavier.

Into this world of love and hurt comes Rudy. Four nights a week, he leaves his homework and makes the 10-minute drive to the Parker house. Around 8 p.m., he carries Sammy upstairs, chats a bit, hugs everybody, and heads home to finish his work. After considerable effort, the Parkers convinced Rudy to take enough money to cover gas, with a little left over.

In the few months the Parkers have known him, Rudy has become not just a help with Sammy, but a salve for their pain. He and Rick talk about football. Patty quizzes him on girls. Ben usually parks himself as close to Rudy as possible, looking up at him adoringly. And most nights, Sam will tremble with excitement as Rudy picks him up.

“It’s like family,’’ said the shy senior. It goes both ways: The Parkers were on the field with Rudy’s mother the night Malden Catholic honored its senior football players.

And so Rudy had barely knocked on the door Tuesday night before Ben was at it, jumping up and down, yelling, “Rudy is here! Rudy is here!’’

He greeted the Parkers, and went over to Sammy, gently lifting the boy’s left arm and sliding his hands under his back, the way Rudy’s father, a professional caregiver, had shown him. He lifted Sammy and held him close to his chest, and as the boy made his joyful O, Rudy carefully maneuvered him around the corners on the narrow stairway.

You couldn’t help but be struck by the painful contrast between the two boys: The robust athlete cradling the pale, helpless child; the young man preparing to go out into the world carrying someone who never will.

It’s a comparison lost on nobody, least of all Rudy himself.

“Can I ask you something?’’ he said, sitting in the Parkers’ living room after Sammy was asleep. “Is it OK if this article is more about Sam than me?’’

Why?

“He’s done more for me than I’ve done for him,’’ Rudy said. “There are times when I don’t want to go to practice, and then I look at Sam. By God’s grace, I can do what I’m doing, so I should keep it up. I’ve never been one to complain a lot, but just seeing Sam reaffirms everything, you know?’’

The Parkers won’t have Rudy for long. He’s already been accepted at four colleges, and others are courting him. Where he goes depends on financial aid and football.

The Parkers hope to be out of this cramped house and into a bigger one — with no stairs — before Rudy leaves town in search of his degree.

Until then, Rudy will bound up to the modest, pale green house on Fairmount Street. He’ll carry Sammy up to his cozy room. Then, for a little while, he’ll carry the Parkers somewhere better, too.

Yvonne Abraham is a Globe columnist. She can be reached at abraham@globe.com. Here are all her columns.

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3 Ways To Believe In Your Ability To Succeed.

Well — Do You? My family and I just watched the film, 'The Polar Express' last night with Tom Hanks. It’s a wonderful movie — great story, wonderful animation, and the acting is top notch.

One of the themes is the main character’s ability to ‘Believe’ in the existence of Santa Claus. It’s all focuses on hearing one of the sleighbells from Santa’s sleigh . . . oh . . . I’m getting off course here.

Well — Do You? My family and I just watched the film, 'The Polar Express' last night with Tom Hanks. It’s a wonderful movie — great story, wonderful animation, and the acting is top notch.

One of the themes is the main character’s ability to ‘Believe’ in the existence of Santa Claus. It’s all focuses on hearing one of the sleighbells from Santa’s sleigh . . . oh  . . . I’m getting off-course here.

Do you listen to Radiolab? It’s a radio show and podcast from NPR that delves into the areas where the boundaries blur between science, philosophy, and human experience. It’s a cool show.

A few months ago, they did a show on how we deceive or lie to ourselves and how that benefits an athlete's performance. Their ‘elite belief’ in a sport requires a mental focus and intensity that is different from the way that many others approach tasks.

So to push themselves — they lie.

In fact, I've seen people become very successful in the business world because of their ability to self-deceive. Their positive attitude and confidence sometimes cloaks their lack of competence, but they can go far if their subordinates perform well and make them look good.

Even in situations where these executives or businesspeople fail, they are more likely to bounce back quickly because they do not dwell on failures and, in fact, do not even recognize they have failed. It's fascinating to watch, and for others, frustrating, because they do not have this trait and too often question their abilities and dwell on setbacks too much (do you do this?).

All this builds up to your ability to believe in your success. Here are some ways you can bridge that gap:

  1. Next time you have that errant negative thought about yourself, an action, a project you’re working on, say to yourself, “Is this negative thinking moving me forward or backward? What thinking will rocket me forward?”
  2. Next time someone says to you, “You can’t do that.” or “That’s not the way we do things around here.”, immediately question their beliefs and motives. I’ve found that THEY are usually WRONG.
  3. Next time you are questioning yourself about an action, just do it. In my 20 years of corporate life and 10 years coaching, I’ve found it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission. Take action.

And BELIEVE in yourself, your abilities, and what you can do. YOU can move MOUNTAINS.

How do you believe in yourself? Do you 'fool' your thinking? What techniques do you use?

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3 Steps To A Perfect Presentation.

I'm asked frequently by clients and colleagues alike how I construct my presentations (see a typical slide to the right). Here's my secret: Step One: Who Is Your Audience & What Do You Want Them To Take Away

This is the most important step that most executives and speakers forget. The usual process is to pick a topic and brain-dump into Powerpoint until you hit the requisite 75 slides. You’re done!

I'm asked frequently by clients and colleagues alike how I construct my presentations (see a typical slide to the right). Here's my secret (I keep it simple and direct):

Step One: Who Is Your Audience & What Do You Want Them To Take Away

This is the most important step that most executives and speakers forget. The usual process is to pick a topic and brain-dump into Powerpoint until you hit the requisite 75 slides. You’re done!

Not so fast. You first need to begin by clearly stating:

Why you are speaking? What information are you trying to deliver? What is the outcome — what is the real reason you are speaking? Convince a group? Make money? Get clients? Get this down first — it impacts everything else you do.

Why does the audience care? Why are you an expert at this? Have you done it before? Successfully? Audiences need an immediate expectation that what they are going to hear (and learn) works. I usually tell a story that give them the assurance that I've been there/done that.

What do they really want? Build to your audience. Are they going to take a lot of handholding or are they on-board immediately? Keep your presentation flexible to accommodate both audiences. You can prepare while building the presentation or handle while speaking to them. I do both. They also want 'Broadway' - be funny, engaging, empathetic — feel their pain, but have fun.

Oh . . . and never build slide that look like this (no bullets) ➝ ➝ ➝ ➝

What are the main ‘packets’ of info they can grab and run with? What is the end result? What items can they take home and try? Develop action steps for them to use immediately after the presentation. This is key — most speakers just give info — you need to deliver action steps for success.

Step Two: Structure - Build The Framework

  • Intro - Set the stage, get them to agree with your premise immediately.
  • Energy - Get them active, wake them up. Yell "Good Morning" or get them to stretch.
  • Story - Qualify your position with a real-life situation. People LOVE stories.
  • Contents - Tell them what you are going to present. This is how adults learn.
  • Info Block #1- Structure ideas in blocks - Intro, Steps, Wrap-Up
  • Info Block #2- Intro, Steps, Wrap-Up
  • Info Block #3- Intro, Steps, Wrap-Up
  • Action Plan - Give them homework and get them to agree to do it.
  • Questions - Take 2-3 questions from the audience.
  • Connection - Get them to take the next step with you.

Step Three: Assertive Editing — Less Is More

Don’t kill them with slides. Build the presentation and then try to cut it in half. How?

  • Streamline - make some slides shorter, simplify some ideas.
  • Incorporate - put two slides together, merge ideas.
  • Retire - throw out non-essential slides, don’t trash them, just hide them (you might need them later).

Remember — for every slide there is talking. Talking takes up most of the presentation.

The worst thing you can do is to start running out of time and then flip through the remaining slides like a madman. It’s easier to buffer slides with speaking, not the other way around.

How do you structure/build your presentation to make it sing?

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This Is Broken (with Seth Godin).

Why are so many things broken? In this entertaining talk — Seth Godin gives a tour of things poorly designed, the reasons why they are that way, and how to fix them.

Why are so many things broken? In this entertaining talk — Seth Godin gives a tour of things poorly designed, the reasons why they are that way, and how to fix them.

See also: Seth's Blog, where Seth writes daily on marketing, business, and other issues — sethgodin.typepad.com/​

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How Do You Coach Your Team?

I'm a coach. I've been working with executives and business owners for over 10 years. Prior to that, I managed large teams in Fortune 500 companies throughout the nation. I found early in my career that it was easier to motivate my staff with carrots rather than the stick. Get them to see the big picture, how they are contributing to it, and how together, we can best leverage their strengths and talents.

I'm a coach. I've been working with executives and business owners for over 10 years. Prior to that, I managed large teams in Fortune 500 companies throughout the nation. I found early in my career that it was easier to motivate my staff with carrots rather than the stick. Get them to see the big picture, how they are contributing to it, and how together, we can best leverage their strengths and talents.

Today, when I coach clients, I use something I call the "Three P's". They are:

  1. Push — I push you. I am there to get you to step out of your comfort zone. To get you to take action. To get you to stop procrastinating on those things you know you need to accomplish. Not a hard shove, but a gentle push.
  2. Partner — I partner with you. I am here to brainstorm, help with obstacles, think clearly about opportunities, handle rejection, and help you think factually without all the emotion. I also help people with their blind spots that they might not see.
  3. Plan — I help you plan. When you go on a trip, you have a destination and a route. You should have the same process for your career. What do you want to accomplish (what are your goals?) and what steps/activities/tasks do you need to do to get there? Not 20 pages, just one page. Keep it simple and actionable.

That's it.

What kind of techniques do you use that are especially effective to coach your team to do their best?

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Why Networking Is Dead — Part One.

Look, everybody does it. It's the hard and fast rule of business — to succeed in the marketplace, you need to get out there and shake some hands. Motivate the masses. Network with the crowds. Well, I say that's wrong.

Look, everybody does it. It's the hard and fast rule of business — to succeed in the marketplace, you need to get out there and shake some hands. Motivate the masses. Network with the crowds. Well, I say that's wrong.

Networking is a very impersonal, awkward, and most of the time, unsuccessful process professionals go through to meet someone and get something from the person they meet. Whenever I hear the term 'networking', I think of a slimy used-car salesman in a seersucker suit, white belt, and white shiny shoes. Yuck!

I like to CONNECT. What's the difference between connecting and networking?

Networking: Ingratiating yourself into someone's space, telling them all about you, and asking for help, an item, or service from them.

Connecting: Meeting someone (preferably with an introduction), asking questions about them, listening to their response, asking more questions, and then offering help, an item, or service TO them. While asking questions, you find a subtle (or overt) area to make a connection —where they live, what they do, where they went to school, anything. Connecting happens in the moment.

The difference? You Ask Questions, Listen, and Give Them something. Not the other way around. It's called Seeding. You plant seeds when you connect — they germinate and grow, and someday that person will be doing something for you. It's not deceptive, it's reciprocal. You do something for them, they do something for you.

What's the biggest reason why you should Connect and not Network? When you network, once the person realizes that the conversation is all about you and what they can do for you — a wall of glass goes up. The person immediately knows that you want something from them. And they endeavor to slowly extricate from the interaction. I see this happen ALL the time. It used to happen to me.

In addition, the fastest way to connect with that person is to turn the conversation towards them, learn more about them, understand their situation, their needs, and their problems/obstacles. You are then in a prime position to focus in on their needs and deliver a personalized solution.

Tomorrow, in Part Two, I will show you HOW to connect. It's easy, simple to do, and best of all, FUN.

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How To Lose Your Fear.

Once in awhile, I bump into something that is so simple, yet effective, I just need to talk about it. Rejection Therapy might be your answer. It's a card game. Yes . . . a card game.

Once in awhile, I bump into something that is so simple, yet effective, I just need to talk about it. Rejection Therapy might be your answer. It's a card game. Yes . . . a card game.

Players challenge themselves to make an offer or request of another person every day for thirty days straight. And get rejected. Players only get points when they get rejected. The point of the game is to overcome one’s fear of rejection by being constantly exposed to it. It desensitizes them. Rejection is usually looked at as a failure, but the game recasts it as success.

It helps everyone who plays it, but if you want to make yourself rich, it’s essential because it develops the character traits that all entrepreneurs need — self confidence, resilience and the ability to network. It can give you the skills to make yourself rich.

Rejection Therapy players test their courage daily by making offers or requests until they get turned down, but getting that rejection can be harder than they think. One user went to a nightclub and couldn’t get anyone to refuse to let her take their picture. Even after upping the ante and asking to get in the picture with them, wearing their jewelry, she couldn’t get a rejection. People were much more accommodating than she expected.

This experience is fairly typical. Players learn that the world is a friendlier place than they thought, and that builds confidence. Rejection Therapy creator Jason Comely summed it up like this, “I realized people were a lot more willing to give me what I asked for than I thought. My comfort zone was like a cage keeping me from exploring a lot of opportunities.”

There are 36 cards — enough for one full game. They will help you do the things you know you need to do to grow your business and give you new ideas as well. If you steel yourself to play and your business doesn’t strongly improve, you’ll know there’s something fundamentally wrong with your business — an important thing to find out in only thirty days.

To learn more and purchase Rejection Therapy, click here. To visit their Facebook Group, click here. It's a closed group, but admittance is immediate, so you can begin playing immediately. This post was edited from a previous post by Chris Hugh on his blog. Chris is a Silicon Valley lawyer, author, crafter and amateur photographer. Visit Chris here. Thank you Chris!

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How To Make Your Boss & Clients Happy All The Time.

Five simple words. Three if you don't count the hyphens: Under-Promise And Over-Deliver. But time and time again, what do we do? Over-Promise And Under-Deliver. Which one makes our boss and clients happy? Why do we do this? Why do we constantly over-promise what we can do, bunch up our priorities, and then disappoint when we deliver late? And why do we do this again, and again, and again?

Five simple words. Three if you don't count the hyphens: Under-Promise And Over-Deliver.

But time and time again, what do we do? Over-Promise And Under-Deliver. Which one makes our boss and clients happy?

Why do we do this? Why do we constantly over-promise what we can do, bunch up our priorities, and then disappoint when we deliver late? And why do we do this again, and again, and again?

Here is a scenario to stop this dysfunctional cycle:

  • It's Monday. You are given a project/task to do. Your boss or client asks when you can deliver it.
  • You know in your heart, you can easily complete it by Wednesday. And if you work extra-special hard, Tuesday night.
  • So you say, "I'll have it to you Tuesday night. WRONG! This is where the train derails.
  • You should say, "I'll have it to you Friday. Is that okay for you?"

Your boss or client will respond in one of three ways:

  1. 80% of the time - "That sounds fine. If you can get it earlier to me that would be great."
  2. 15% of the time - " Oh. Can you get it any earlier to me? Say Thursday?"
  3. 5% of the time - "That won't do. I need it by Wednesday. Can you do it?"

First, why do I have you buffer the time from Wednesday to Friday? Simply, because stuff happens. Unexpected calls, emergencies, breakdowns, other clients, other projects, home emergencies, etc. You get where I'm going.

Unfortunately, we don't plan for these things to happen. But they do - all the time. So you need to buffer. What happens in this scenario?

  1. You deliver on Thursday (comfortably) instead of Friday and your boss/client thinks that you're a genius (and hard worker).
  2. You deliver on Thursday (comfortably) and your boss/client thinks that you are a person of their word.
  3. You tell you boss/client that Wednesday will be very tight and you might have to move around some projects/tasks. You deliver on Wednesday.

If you begin to do this with all of your projects/tasks, you will find that your time is better used AND your boss/clients will love you.

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10 Gifts For You To Succeed In 2011.

As my holiday gift to you, here are my 10 most read & requested posts from 2010:

As my holiday gift to you, here are my TEN most read & requested posts from 2010:

Set Your 2011 Goals In Two Steps.

It’s December 2011. Many people are scrambling to get their end of the year targets complete. Many are trying to reach out to prospects and recalcitrant clients to make that sale. Some are lining up their teams for that final push. A select few are slowly winding down their work for the eventual hibernation during the last two weeks of the month. How do you guarantee a great 2011?

5 Tips On How To Treat New Employees.

Whew! After a phlanx of interviewees and resumes, late nights, early mornings and lost lunches, you’ve just hired that new team member. Now you can sit back and focus back on work. Not so fast. It’s important as they’re new boss to make this transition period in their life bump- and trouble-free. It will not only behoove you, but will also ensure that your new hire is happy, engaged, enthusiastic, and motivated.

RUN OUT and Get This Book Today.

I LOVE Michael Port. Okay, I’ve never met the guy, but I do love his book. When I run into a good business book (and there are a lot of stinkers out there), I promote it. The man is a genius. He not only develops and publishes the bible on “Book Yourself Solid”, in it, he links to a workbook which is a very powerful way for one to really LEARN his techniques. I use this book everyday.

How You Sabotage Your Success.

I had to FedEx a letter to a prominent executive the other day. Easy? You have to be kidding. I used the same process I coach with my clients everyday. Same template (modified), same process, same delivery. The funny thing is, you wouldn’t believe the myriad of ways the fear, uncertainty, and doubt took over in my mind to stop me from doing this. Just watch my pain.

10 Ways To Have Fun At Work.

You work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 250 days a year, for approximately 40 years. You can either have fun or turn it into a clock-watching, tedious, and painful nightmare. Your choice.

Is Your Career A Rollercoaster Or Are You Driving It?

This week was chock full of incredible conversations with clients, colleagues, partners and prospects! All had wonderful ideas and goals. Kudos! One of the topics that I discussed with many of them was my theory that our world is changing. Are you driving your career?

What’s Killing Your Career? The Laws of Nature.

Newton’s First Law of Motion: An object at rest tends to stay at rest unless acted upon by a sum of physical forces. This is the typical employee at work today. As long as they have a job, they won’t take any risks, butt any heads, or raise their hand at a meeting. In essence, they are an “object at rest”. And this employee/object will remain at rest (no movement – no raises, no promotions, no new projects, no GROWTH) until “a sum of physical forces” are acted upon it.

I Just Saw An Accident This Morning.

I commute every day on I-95, the most travelled highway in Connecticut. I was in the middle lane, trundling along at 60-65 mph, and the traffic ahead reduced their speed due to congestion. And then it happened.

Stupid Things People Do At The Office – Take Work Home Over The Weekend.

Friday just flew by. And now you packed up your briefcase with folders and ran out the door at 7 PM. You’re planning to do some work this weekend to catch up before Monday rolls around and you’re behind the eight ball. Your first mistake . . .

$14.27 Can Change Your Career. Guaranteed.

Every so often, a person comes along, writes a book, and changes the way people act. Napoleon Hill did it with”Think and Grow Rich”. Dale Carnegie — “How To Win Friends and Influence People”. Peters and Waterman — “In Search of Excellence”. Stephen Covey — “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. And Keith Ferrazzi — “Never Eat Alone”. Here's the next business bible . . .

Get set for an unbelievable new year! - Rich

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3 Ways To Stay Connected.

It's hard to stay connected with friends, colleagues, clients, and key people in your industry. Why? Because most positions force you to focus on production and not development. Get to work and don't worry about new connections. Here's three ways to gently sneak in a little contact to help your career health, grow your business, and ensure your success.

It's hard to stay connected with friends, colleagues, clients, and key people in your industry. Why? Because most positions force you to focus on production and not development. Get to work and don't worry about new connections. Here's three ways to gently sneak in a little contact to help your career health, grow your business, and ensure your success.

Strategic Lunches — Once a week, ensure that you schedule a lunch with someone outside of your current contact list (growth) or a critical, connected and key player within your contact list (retention). Not five lunches, just one. Also make sure that you keep it to one hour — so you will do it again and not fret about the 'waste of time' it might incur.

Morning Calls — Every day, pick one person from your contact list, and reach out to them via phone in the morning. Make it first thing, make it quick (no more than 5-10 minutes), and keep it enthusiastic. Focus on them - ask about their family, work, life — but the most important this is to get in and get out. Slowly, people will look forward to your call when they see your name appear on their phone. Result: Connect with 200+ people on your list every year.

Dinner Parties — Every three months, host a dinner party at your home. Here are the rules:

  • Invite 3-4 couples. They should not know each other, but they do know you.
  • Keep it casual. Tell them to dress down.
  • Keep the food simple. Serve something where you spend no time in the kitchen once the guests arrive. Like chili.
  • Keep the wine flowing. A glass or two always soften the party jitters.
  • Use nametags. People forget names and it inhibits conversation. It sounds hokey, but it works.
  • Have them bring a fun gift. Like their favorite CD from college. Then you can play it and talk about it (or make fun of it).

I've had more people come to me afterward and comment that these are the best parties they've ever attended. And I get business.

Just try one of these strategies and slowly see your contact circle grow that much more robust. Trust me.

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Visualizing Mortality And Wealth.

Here is a very cool video showing 200 years of mortality/wealth progress in just four minutes by Hans Rosling, a guru of data animation.

Here is a very cool video showing 200 years of mortality/wealth progress in just four minutes by Hans Rosling, guru of data animation.

From the NY Times.

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