10 Tips For Holiday Party Etiquette.

It's the most wonderful time of the year. And you have to go to your office holiday party. Here are some simple tips to make it much more bearable and hopefully, wildly successful.

1. Dress up. Remember, this is a party, so dress up a bit to show off. Wear that snazzy tie or that elegant scarf. Jewelry is a must. This is the time to step out and be noticed — but don't go too overboard. No santa ties, plunging necklines, or revealing dresses. But do dress up.
2. Be On Time. Don't be early or late  — show up 30-45 minutes after the start time. Gauge the parking lot — step in when there is a reasonable amount of people.
3. Two Drinks Max. Don't imbibe the liquor too much — this is ample networking time — you need to reach out, meet and greet new people. Switch to soda or juice to keep the fluids going - you'll be talking a lot.
4. Don't Nosh Too Much. You want to eat, but not too much. Try to stick to the foods that are quickly eaten with a minimum of mess and utensils (no chicken wings). If you can, hit the restroom immediately after to check for any errant bits of spinach between the teeth.
5. Have a Wingman. Either bring a date or someone who will compliment your presence at the party. A person who will keep the conversation flowing but not take over the entire group. The ability to play off of one another only makes the conversation that much more lively.
6. Mingle. Don't spend all your time with your peeps. This is the time to connect with influential people that might help your career. Engage them in conversation that will take them away from work and drift into interests and hobbies.
7. Don't Spend All Your Time Gossiping. Keep the talk light and personal (again, interests, hobbies, kids, etc.). If you have to talk business (taking cues from your boss), talk about what the company accomplished and what could be planned for 2011. Talk future business. If you have some cool ideas, test pitching them — but don't go too far. You should know when to pull back on the rudder.
8. Thank Your Boss. Make sure that you make your way over to the boss and thank them for the shindig. Also thank them for their guidance, assistance, and patience over the past year — this will endear you to them.
9. Leave Before It Ends. Don't be the guest who wouldn't leave. Make sure you do the rounds of management and your team, but leave before the last person walks out the door — preferably 30 minutes before the stated end of the party. Give your regrets and make haste out the door.
10. Have FUN. This is a time to test and hone your connecting, social, and political skills. You need to show people that you can move within social (who you know) and political (who knows you) circles. But most of all, smile and enjoy!

5 Ways To Make Your Commute Bearable.

Commuting sucks. Anywhere you go, if you are on a parkway, highway, or thruway between 7-9 AM, you're probably swearing. You can blame it on anything — accidents, volume, weather — there will always be traffic congestion. You want to go 55, 65, 75 — but you're currently going 5. And the radio is just making it worse by intermixing the 15 minutes of commercials with a traffic helicopter telling you that there is traffic on YOUR route. My average commute (one-way, without traffic) is one hour — so I feel that I have a good handle on what the typical commuter endures every day. By the way, I totally understand about public transportation (I use it too) — but this post focuses solely on car commuting.

Why not work from home? Not every day. You need a few good ideas to help your commute become a bit more bearable. So here goes:

1. Listen to really good music. Most people I know don't plan their ride effectively when it comes to the enjoyment of music. They either just turn the radio on, grin and bear it through the bad music choices/commercials OR they drive around with the same six CD's in their car for the past year.One strategy is to pre-plan your music the night before — either on CD, Smartphone, or iPod — to ensure that you get a freshness and variety to make your ride fun. In addition, try using the shuffle or genius mode on your player to keep the mix of the songs fresh. Finally, if you aren't acquainted with the app Pandora, check it out — it changed my listening habits forever.
2. Read a book. Whoops . . . I meant LISTEN to a book. I find that I 'read' more than I did in college by using downloadable books. Why downloadable? It's soooo much cheaper. Instead of trying to manage 6-10 CD's, the entire book is neatly stored on my Smartphone or iPod.In addition to keeping the exact place where I left off, it allows me to carry it anywhere. And here's the best part — most audiobooks today aren't read by stuffy, upper-crust, gentry — they are now read by the author who adds so much more energy and information to the original book. Check this one out — you'll be surprised.
3. Listen to a podcast. This is my hidden secret of iPods that most users don't know about. There are millions of people and organizations who regularly post incredible podcasts (extended talkshows) on iTunes. They range from music reviews to UFO's, comedy to history — and they're unbelievable.
4. Brainstorm in the car. Go buy a digital tape recorder or use your Smartphone/iPod and begin talking. I find that I do my best brainstorming, strategizing, and thinking in the shower and in the car. Just turn it on and start talking — you'll be surprised what great ideas come out of your rambling. In addition, you can think up to-do lists, or dictate emails that can be electronically transfered once you hit the office.
5. Leave earlier. I know — some of you probably are swearing at this one. You might not be a morning person or your boss wants you to work late. But this is the one that usually cures all ills when it comes to your commute. I leave at 5:30 AM and get to work (95% of the time) at 6:30 AM.If I leave a bit early or on time, I get in 9.5 to 10.5 hours of work each day (I work through lunches). That's between 47-53 hours of work every week — a healthy amount if the boss starts to complain. I might hit a bit of traffic on my way home, but I can deal with it. And if your boss begins to complain about you leaving early, you need to talk to me, I can help you overcome this ridiculous behavior.

Let me know what ways you use to make your commute more bearable!

5 Ways To Kill Email.

Email sucks. It's a terrible communication platform (no live, two-way communication), messages are sometimes understood the wrong way, they get lost, you turn around and there are 50 new emails in your inbox, and deciding what to do (open, read, file, trash) is a frustrating process. If you're old like me (I'm 48), you probably remember the old Inbox on your desk where you received actual paper memos. Harkening back to those old times, we only received/wrote 2-3 (no more than five) memos a day. Most business was done face to face or over the phone (where real, live, two-way communication happens).

Here are some tips that I use to make my way through 125-150 emails a day:

1. Recognize that email is not your master, it's a piece of software. Too many executives and business owners live and die by every email that drops into their inbox. If you step back and look at your career, major leaps and successes were not built on that one email you sent or read, it was clearly delivered by your actions, presence, management, leadership, and interpersonal skills. And more importantly, not a snarky comment at the end of an email. So here's your first challenge: Stop giving any importance to your inbox. If someone asks you if you read an email that they sent you, say "No". Tell everyone that you are on an "email diet" and if they truly have something important to communicate, pick up the phone or stop by your office. Your fear of missing that important email will slowly go away. Trust me.
2. Turn off your email notifier that lets you know another email has arrived. This is a big one - stop reading it every minute of the day. Unless you are a bookie and have to place bets instantly, you do not have to read that email this moment. Begin by setting in place certain times of the hour or day to read email. Some executives do it during the last 5-10 minute of each hour; some spend 15-30 minutes in the morning, at noon, and before they go home. Pick a process that suits you. Also - stop checking your Blackberry or iPhone every available minute.
3. Prioritize your email. This is my secret that I unveil to many of my clients with time management issues. Go into your email program and setup rules to color your email messages (check in your help center of Outlook or MacMail). Here are the three categories that I manage my email: a. Critical - emails from your boss, other superiors, and clients. These should be colored red and attended to immediately. b. Important - emails where you are on the 'To:' line only (no one else). These are emails that are singularly directed at you. Color them blue. c. Not Important - all other emails - these should be colored gray and only read — if you have the time. You'll find that 80% of your email ends up in the 'Not Important' bucket and 20% is in buckets 'A' and 'B'. You will also find (if the Pareto Rule is in effect — that the most important communication — is found in the 20%, which delivers 80% of the impact of your position. If colors don't work, use folders.
4. Don't respond to emails with an email. How many times have you been pulled into an email 'conversation' or even worse, an email 'confrontation'? Try picking up your phone, doing a 'drive-by' someone's office or cubicle, or hosting a short meeting (if it is truly important or an issue that is beginning to blow up). The more that you take important communication events out of email, the more that you will use and receive useless emails. If you receive it on your phone, call back instead of emailing them.
5. Turn emails into what they really are — memos. Emails should communicate key information, schedules, and history, not management or leadership. As I stated above, they are poor communication vehicles, but they are useful ones when used effectively. When you have the itch to send an email, don't. Most of the time, you can just let sleeping dogs lie and don't respond.

Now I understand there might be vocations that live and thrive on email - so it might be tough doing all my tips. But try just one and see how it affects your input, throughput and output. Even if you get a 5% savings in email time a week, that equals 2 full hours you can apply to more important issues.

But remember, I'm not stating 'Don't read your email', just not the important ones. It will be hard and this will take some practice.

Stick to this plan for one day, review. Then one week, review. Then one month . . . and keep going. You might surprise yourself.

The Man Who Is Changing The World.

By himself. Salman Khan is the founder and faculty of the Khan Academy. He started the Khan Academy as a way to tutor his cousins remotely — while he was a hedge fund analyst in Boston, and they were students in New Orleans.

He started posting videos on YouTube, and more and more people kept watching. It was clear there was a huge unmet need, so Sal left his hedge fund job and started Khan Academy with the mission of providing a free world-class education to anyone, anywhere.

Here's his impact:

Sal holds an MBA from Harvard Business School, where he was the president of his class. He also attended MIT, where he received 3 degrees: a Masters in Electrical Engineering & Computer Science, a B.S. in Electrical Engineering & Computer Science, and a B.S. in Mathematics.

The Khan Academy is a not-for-profit with the mission of providing a world-class education to anyone, anywhere. Here's someone you might recognize touting his achievements:

He did this by himself. In a closet office. Using a computer.

Now let's turn that lens inward. How can you change the world? How can you change your life? How can you change your career? Like Salman, it just takes one Idea and Action.

What can you plan today, to then take action tomorrow, and change your situation?

5 Ways To Spread A Little Warmth.

It's a cold world out there. One thing that always works for me is to share a positive, enthusiastic attitude.

Whenever I feel down, or when things aren't going my way, I try to instantly turn that around with a smile, a fun comment, or a positive action. Most of the time it works and as I do it, it becomes infectious, and bounces right back to me. So . . .

• Email - Instead of replying to a snarky email, call the person up and get them to level with you.
• Boss - Come in Monday with more energy and positivity than you've ever brought to work . . . ever. See what happens.
• Clients - See how you can add just a little more pizzazz to every interaction. Call them unexpectedly and get their feedback.
• Colleagues - See how you can help them. Givers gain.
• Subordinates - Give them one of your higher-end projects. At first they might not like the additional work, but when they see the level of the challenge and the exposure to other people, places, and things, they will thank  you.

As I stated from the start, the world is a cold place, so these tips might not work. So here's some advice — try one (or more) of them, if they don't work, you've probably run into one of three types of individuals:

• Temporarily Bitter - Something has got them down. If your first attempts at changing their perspective fail, ask what is really keeping them down. Most of the time they will open up (which in and of itself helps) and allows you to spread some real warmth. This is your 'warmth' sweet spot.
• Situationally Bitter - They hate a certain situation (their boss, their job, money, their clients, their life, their spouse/partner, their family, etc.). Attempt to help them, but you're treading in a minefield. Your warmth might be received as a shallow ploy to get something out of them. But it doesn't hurt to try.
• Permanently Bitter - As I learned as a small child from the man who works on power lines: "Stay away, Stay alive." These are people that go through life spreading their angst, annoyance, and turbulent attitude to everyone they meet — they act like Ebenezer Scrooge without the epiphany. Unfortunately, these people need a lot of work and you have to decide whether you want to spend an inordinate amount of time investing in their transformation — and it usually doesn't work. Unless they are really close to you, it's better to find more appealing surroundings.

I find the more that you add warmth to every interpersonal interaction, the more you make the world a better place and enhance your reputation. Try it.

By the way, if you are really interested in being more positive, check out this book. It was given to me by my good friend and fellow coach, Steve Cary.

Two Videos: One Will Impact Your Life & One Your Work.

Rarely do I log onto one of my favorite sites (reddit.com) and find two great videos I have to share. So in honor of the day after Thanksgiving, where we all take a collective sigh of relief and relax (except for those who are braving our stores).

Enjoy!

What's Missing From Your Thanksgiving Table This Year?

Sweet Potatoes? Peas? Squash? Corn? No. Is it a loved one who passed away this year? Is it a family member who is serving our country overseas?

Let's all take a moment and express our love and gratitude for all the people in our lives.

But today, I would like to go a little deeper — what's missing from your INNER Thanksgiving table this year?

Have you lost your job? Have you lost confidence in yourself? Have you lost your clients? Have you lost your focus?

2010 has been both problematic and revelatory for many of my clients, colleagues, and friends. Some are up, some are down.

But the one thing we all need to remember, is that we have the ability to change. To take action. To slowly (or quickly) start turning our fortunes around to where we want them to go.

Only YOU have the ability to change where you are.

Only YOU can make the decision to begin charting a new course.

Everyone else can only be a tool to help YOU accomplish your goals. We can show you how to swing the club, YOU are the only person who must swing and hit the ball.

So at this time of the year, let's all be thankful that we have the ability to take action. The ability to change course.

And the gratitude to realize that Friday is also a holiday — spend some time that day to start taking action.

P.S. Here's a Thanksgiving gift for you to download and enjoy.

Never, Never, Never Give Up.

This is a quote from the great Winston Churchill. It was given to me many years ago by my oldest brother BIll, when I started my business. It hangs in my office.

What does it mean to me?

• Be consistent. If you have an idea, check it, and follow through on it.
• Be persistent. If you've reached out to a prospect or colleague and they haven't returned your call, keep calling them.
• Be provocative. Stand out from the crowd so you're noticed. It gets harder and harder every year since there are more of us to wade through.
• Be magnanimous. Never give up on a relationship or friendship. Be the one who wears their heart on their sleeve and makes the first move.
• Be intrusive. As I say to my clients, "Be a wood tick — burrow down to get that client, to sell that idea."
• Be true to your philosophy. Just because someone else pooh-poohs your beliefs, doesn't mean your wrong. They probably are.
• Be faithful. Stand behind your friends, colleagues and clients — if they need help or a good word, you should be there for them.
• And finally . . .

Be thankful. You are a wonderful human being. Take pride in what you've accomplished. Look at your mistakes and failures as learning opportunities and grow from them. Focus on your strengths and see how far you can take them. Just a small push can work wonders.

"Never, Never, Never, Never Give Up."

If you have any other additions, let us know! I would love to hear how you feel about this quote.

3 Ways To Step Back & Look At The Big Picture.

We all get caught in the minutiae. And it's not our fault. Our job, our life, even our world makes us focus on the small things. That's how we get things done. But sometimes, even if it's once a year, you need to step back, pick up your head, and see the entire picture. But for many of us, that's hard to do. Why?

• We don't have the time.
• We are afraid of what we will see.
• We don't know how to do it.

So here are three simple ways to step back and see the BIG picture:

1. Take a day off from work. Look, it's mid-November. If you're like me, you have LOTS of vacation days just sitting there waiting to be used for something important. Let your boss know that you need to take a day off, don't tell your family, and go somewhere quiet (your local library is perfect — resources, tables and free wi-fi) to THINK.
2. Ask a friend for help. It could be your spouse, partner, colleague — anyone. If you've been having trouble actually setting aside time to do some strategic thinking, leaning on another person will ensure you will make the time. In addition, they will be an incredible sounding board to really think big. You can also help them with their big picture thinking too!
3. Break it up. Instead of a 'big bang' full day of strategic thinking, segment it into one-hour increments over two weeks. Get into work early (like I am doing right now - I'm sitting in a Starbucks at 5:45 AM), and start thinking BIG.

Are You Ready For Success?

Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be." - George Sheehan Most of the time it's not the place, the time, the people, or the circumstances. It's YOU.

It's not the obstacles or lack of opportunity. It's YOU.

Successful people blast through obstacles and make their own opportunity.

It's that simple. So start today by looking inside and be the person you believe you were meant to be.

Do You Keep Your Nose To The Grindstone?

To grind corn in the old-time grist mills, corn was fed through a hole in the runner stone, and then, by means of centrifgugal force, was carried between two great stones, grinding all the way. However, these two great stones never touched. To accomodate the different grain sizes, the miller was able to adjust the gap between the stones by means of a wheel that was connected by a rod to a lever upon which the central shaft rested. The movement of this adjusting wheel moved one of the great grinding stones, the runner stone, from the other, called the bed stone.

By keeping their nose to the grindstone, the miller could detect the smell of granite, which indicated that the two grinding stones were too close together.

So the term "keeping your nose to the grindstone" doesn't really mean working hard or late. It means ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION?

• To what is important and letting go of the minutae that fills our valuable time.
• To what is happening at a macro and strategic level and not the small stuff.
• To who is leaving, who is coming aboard, and where you stand in the hierarchy.
• To your customer's wants, needs and concerns.

If you pay a little more attention to the important things, you'll grind a lot of grain, and keep your grist mill running strong.

Want To Be Successful? This Is What You Do.

This morning, I'm speaking in front of a packed crowd at the Wilton Library on LinkedIn.

Candidly, I'm not a true 'authority' on LinkedIn, but it does help my business, and I'm presenting to business owners about how they can leverage it too.

So you want to be successful? Want to make mid-to-high six figures a year? Learn how to speak in front of people. And get good at it. It takes practice — but once you have the correct formula of presence, information, and broadway — it works.

I'm not saying that speaking is the end-all of business, it's a tool to be used to help grow your business. The more people that you are in front of and can experience your service, the more that they actually sell themselves.

Why? Speakers are at the apex of communication. Of course we have writers and actors. We also have social media. But public speaking is one of the most powerful forms of communication today. Why?

• You instantly become an authority. People still respect professionals who speak and take the information they provide at face value. Try doing that in any other medium.
• You are a billboard for you and your company. Standing up and speaking on a topic commands respect — for you and your product. It's free advertising that actually works.
• You move people with your words. You touch their heartstrings. I've had people come up to me after a keynote or workshop and hug me. You don't get that from a Tweet.
• You get true two-way communication. Attendees can meet and touch you. They can ask questions and have your personalize your response to their situation. That's special today.
• You can guide them to other products you offer. Since they have already bought into you, they are usually very interested in extending the experience by purchasing more of your services. Your here to make MONEY.

So if you want to be truly successful — learn, practice and perfect your speaking style. Today.

Tough Times Never Last. Tough People Do.

I run a high-performance peer-advisory group — a great bunch of people who know what they want and know how to get it. The other day, one member recognized that everyone around the table 'survived' the past recession and are still in business. Some were still skeptical that the recession was over, but most agreed that tough times were behind us. Then one person said, "And this is the time to go for the gold. To think big. To take our businesses where we want them to go before the rest of the marketplace gets wise and catches up."

It's been a hard 2-3 years — we've all had to work  twice as hard to just make the same amount of money. We've seen many fellow friends fall by the wayside, many good businesses close. And many people still out of work looking for that prize job.

The reality is — tough times never last. There is an end to the economic instability. There might be another one coming (shut your mouth Rich Gee!), but for now, most economists (and the market) agree that things are getting better.

So what are you going to do about it? How are you going to 'go for the gold and think big?"

• Has your client base changed? Some gone away - new ones popped up? Do you know how to communicate to them?
• Has your company changed? Many were laid off, projects were cancelled. What rays of sunshine are beginning to stream down?
• What can you change about your business? New products? New services? New positioning?
• How can you grow yourself as an executive? Mobile is exploding. Communication channels are dying. What works? What doesn't?

You survived. Now it's time to step up to the plate and "Get Tough". Take action. Today.

Do You Have The Girlfriend Effect?

What's the Girlfriend Effect?

Remember in high school, if a boy didn't have a girlfriend, it was pretty darn near impossible for him to attract one? But if the boy did have a girlfriend, all her friends seemed to flock over to him and be instantly interested in him?

Well, the girlfriend effect is alive and well in business today and it starts with the atmosphere you create.

It's how you act, your confidence, your self-esteem, the way you react in situations, the way you carry yourself.

If you own or run your own business or if you are an executive in a corporation, you understand the power of first impressions, charisma, and confident behavior.

If you don't have it, you need to get it. When I work with my clients, I frequently say that you need to always have your "hot shit" persona on. Because if you don't think you are important, influential, and experienced, no one will. It all starts with you.

Here are some incredible books that you can grab to build your confidence, charisma, and image:

1. Executive Charisma: Six Steps to Mastering the Art of Leadership By D.A. Benton. A proven six-step process for acquiring the style, flair, and credibility needed to make it to the top. According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, managers who do not exude an all encompassing self-confidence, style, poise, and energy, in short, “executive presence,” are highly unlikely to make it to the corner office.
2. The Secret Language of Success: Using Body Language to Get What You Want By David Lewis. The jewel of my library. Have you ever felt that you could walk into a room without being noticed and leave and not be missed? Your inability to make your presence felt has probably made you frustrated on more than one occasion. This book teaches you the secret language of silent speech and body language.
3. How to Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie. This is the bible — buy it and live it. This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated.

P.S. Hope I haven't offended anyone by possibly positioning my post badly around women or men - not trying to be sexist here, just exhibiting a point.

Do You Have A Career "Plan B"?

You just missed the last recession, hopefully things are getting better. You're getting quite adept at dodging the executioner's axe — ducking at the last minute while watching fellow peers lose their heads. Are you talented or just lucky? At my last corporate gig, I managed to have seven bosses in six years. Six LONG years.

Talented and lucky just don't take you very far anymore. There might be a time when you need to resort to "Plan B".

What is "Plan B"? It's that time of your career when you realize that it's time to change, to make a move, to take ACTION. Some executives realize it when they are still employed and some realize it when they are carrying the contents of their desk in a box.

Here are some basic "Plan B" activities:

• Get Out & Meet New People. Today. Try to have lunch with a new person every week. Do it.
• Get Out & Strengthen Current/Old Relationships. They already know you. Pick the most motivational and influential and connect with them again.
• Brainstorm. Sit down with a white sheet of paper — draw a line down the center and write energize on the left and enervate on the right. List all the elements of past positions that energize you and all elements that enervate or deplete your energy. Your new position should leverage the 'energize' elements.
• Keep Alert. What's happening in your company? In your marketplace? In your city/state? What companies are doing well? Which ones need help? If you're going to go — go for the gold.
• Get Your Resume In Order. Work with a professional (I have a few great recommendations if need be).
• Start Reading The WSJ/Financial Times/The Economist/BusinessWeek. It tells you what's happening. Where to focus. What areas are growing, who's shrinking. New areas you never even knew existed.
• Past Bosses. Have lunch with them. Find out what they're doing. They might want you.

Bottom line, now is the time to take action and develop a robust "Plan B". Today.

3 Ways To Successfully Attain Any Goal In Life.

You have grand designs on your future - unfortunately, you never meet your personal or professional goals. Why does that happen? It comes down to three areas - SRS or Simple — Realistic — Steps (not five, as in SMART, or seven as in SMARTER - let's keep it simple!).

What do I mean?

1. Simple - Keep your dreams simple. Don't make them too complex. If you do, you'll find you will be spending more time deciphering what to do next and questioning if you did it to completion. Simplicity is key. Also break out the goal into smaller, more attainable goals (see #3).

2. Realistic - Be honest to yourself and pick those goals that you can actually achieve. So many people go off half-cocked and attempt something grandiose or unattainable by any measure and then find themselves cashing in again on a failed project, initiative, or life goal. Then they get frustrated and angry. And they never try anything again.

3. Steps - Chunk out each goal into simple and realistic tasks or activities. In addition, look at your goal, if it is too big or unwieldy, break it up into manageable steps. An example might be, "I want to own a BMW Z4 sports car". Normal steps might be save money, research best way to purchase, buy car. A better way to break up your steps would be to have three segmented goals (with sub-goals) that build up to your main goal, ownership of the Z4:

• Finance - a. Ensure constant stream of revenue to pay all bills and have extra left over. b. Investigate a general financial goal for the Z4. c. Develop a time/payment schedule to save. d. Ensure that no unplanned emergencies arise to deplete the Z4 funding machine. e. Find a profitable 'holding area' for the funds saved that will deliver the best interest. f. Ensure your credit score remains high to garner the best interest rate deal. g. Set up goal markers to check off during this process.
• Research - a. Why do you want a Z4? b. Investigate alternatives to the Z4 - cheaper, better, other brands. c. What are the best dealerships? d. Who are the best salespeople that can educate you on the Z4 and get you the best price? e. How much will insurance be? f. What is the resale value? g. Lease or buy? h. Return policies? Warranties? i. Set up goal markers to check off during this process.
• Purchase - a. When are the Finance and Research steps complete? b. Initiate the finance process. c. Plan for any hiccups in the process. d. Sell your current car. e. Make a list of items to check when you sign the papers and pick up the car. f. Set up goal markers to check off during this process.

This is an over-simplified example to show how you can chunk out each step to cover any issue or problem that might arise, but also to move you forward during the process, making each step simple, manageable and motivational, ensuring your success.

Are You Throwing Happiness Out The Window?

Lately, a lot of people feel 'stuck' in their life. Why?

• Because of their past decisions leading up to the present.
• Because of the possibility of jumping into another terrible position.
• Because of the economy.

This is what I call "Not Living In The Present". Why? Let's look at the three reasons again:

• PAST GUILT: Past decisions leading up to the present.
• FUTURE FEAR: Possibility of jumping into another terrible position.
• DISPLACED ANGER: The economy.

Past Guilt

Blaming actions in the past that you feel are affecting the present. You are currently not feeling 'adequate' to attempt to jump to a new job because of your past failings, lack of knowledge/experience, or some other situation that might have happened to you.

Solution: You can't do anything about it. Stop frustrating yourself because of things that have happened in the past and start dealing with the qualities, experience, and talents that you currently have. Make a list - you will surprise yourself.

Future Fear

Being scared of the future may be real to you, but in reality, a waste of your time and energy. Why? You are predicting the future . . . if you knew exactly what was going to happen, go buy a lottery ticket. We hold ourselves back because we are insecure of what 'might' happen and we begin to concoct elaborate stories in our head to make them real.

Solution: Deal with your anxiety about the future — start making a plan based on reality and move from fear back into a strong secure place in your head and life. Sit down and map out specific goals you want to accomplish and those activities and tasks that will get you there. Add a timetable and you are done!

Displaced Anger

Blaming other people or forces about your misery is a common practice with many of my clients. Because of the marketplace, the economy, your clients, or a crazy boss, you are eliminating all ability to take control of the situation. There are always other options to any situation, unfortunately, we tend to throw them out the window and begin to blame things we cannot control.

Solution: Uncover, understand, and focus on the things you CAN control. Start breaking down your frustrations with outside forces and other people and begin to see opportunities that were hidden from you. The best way to do this is to state your situation, come up with alternatives, and brainstorm options, no matter how crazy or outlandish they are. You'll find that some of these options quickly turn into opportunities.

Start living in the present. You will be much happier and have abundant energy to change where you are NOW.

The Best Kept Business Secret To Success.

To be successful in business, you need to make CONNECTIONS.It's that simple.

Connections to meet someone new, to make a sale, to find a new position, or to learn about a recent, yet unknown development.

I find that some of my clients, some of my workshop attendees, and for some people I meet, they 'rebel' against this notion.

And in my opinion, to their detriment.

FACT: Every weekday, every lunch, every upscale (and even downscale) restaurant, key executives are connecting. Just look around. There's a reason why lunches are cheaper, smaller, and served faster — for business lunches!

On average, I meet or speak to 2-3 new people a day, have 2000+ names in my address book, and ensure that every lunch I have is either meeting with someone, speaking with someone, or just bumping into someone.

It's like Tom Peters' 20 x 12 = 240 model (see below), you have ample opportunity to connect with A LOT of people.

Why do certain people rebel? Why do they think that it isn't important?

I think these people either don't like to talk to other people, don't find it useful, think they're too busy, or don't prepare for the lunch. They're wrong.

So if you're waiting for that big, shiny limousine to pull up at your home or office and whisk you off to a better life with more money — keep dreaming.

If you want to win the showcase on The Price Is Right, you at least have to show up and be in the audience. Make it happen!

How To Connect With Key People.

I attended a NSA (National Speakers Association) meeting last night. I know . . . after a full day at work, I spent additional hours in a cramped, hot hotel room looking at slides. I wouldn't change it for the world.

• I met a LOT of great people just like me. People that I can help and who also can help me.
• I experienced a great speaker who gave me a LOT of great information to grow my business exponentially.
• I had fun and it energized me (and my business).

Without further ado, here are some critical tips:

1. Get Out. The hardest thing my clients, colleagues, and friends do is to not get out and meet people. Find events and GO TO THEM. My motto: The more people you meet, the more opportunities you make, the more business you close. Corollary: The less people you meet, the less opportunities you make, the less business you close. It's that simple.
2. Show Enthusiasm & Energy. Don't be manic and scary though. Keep an upbeat focus on everyone you meet. Greet with a broad smile, hearty handshake and have one item/area to personally compliment the attendee. Do what you have to do to bring up your energy, go for a walk before the talk, listen to a power song on your iPod, drink an energy drink - anything. But come with ENERGY.
3. Wear Your Own Nametag. This sounds hokey - but it works. Everyone knows your name and what you do. And . . . you name is clearly visible to everyone you meet. In addition, the speaker could see it from her vantage point and mentioned my name — although I never met her! So it works.
4. Try To Do Something For Everyone You Meet. And then follow up the next day. I know it's hard, but this is how the big boys and girls do it.
5. Do a 360°. Talk to everyone around you when you sit down. During breaks, increase the frequency and solidify the relationship. Follow up the next day (this is critical).
6. Don't Eat. Not only is it difficult to handle a plate, shake hands, eat, and maintain a conversation, chewing and talking just don't go together. Eat beforehand. You look more polished and professional if you don't eat. Did you ever spit food while talking? Not cool.

Finally, two areas that I would like to promote:

• National Speakers Association - www.nsa.org - check them out - great meetings, incredible speakers, they make it happen!
• Rebecca Morgan - this professional clearly knows her stuff on how to "Make Money In Your Jammies" - www.rebeccamorgan.com

Why I'm Not Surprised You Got Fired.

It's funny. So many things happen in life that make us wonder, "Why did they do that?" "Why did they go with the other candidate?" "Why am I not getting that promotion?" "Why did I get laid off?"

It's the balance of factual and emotional and how we also balance them in our head and heart.

Unfortunately, we often tend to skew on the emotional side when it comes to highly personal and influential decisions. As I say to my clients, "You tell yourself stories."

You need to evaluate the FACTUAL side of the equation and you'll probably see why and how they made the decision.

Why do I mean by facts? Follow the money, perception, situation, and influencers. They are probably to blame.

On the other hand - there are situations when the people in charge make emotional decisions and let facts fly in the wind.

Candidly, you don't want to work for them. Trust me.