Are You Wasting Your First Impression?

First impressions occur in the first seven seconds of meeting someone. Here's something even scarier — a series of experiments by Princeton psychologists Willis & Todorov uncover it takes is a tenth of a second to construct an impression of a stranger from their face. Longer exposures don’t significantly alter those impressions (although they might boost your confidence in your judgments).

Like it or not, judgments based on facial and overall appearance play a powerful role in how we treat others, and how we get treated.

The moment a person observes you, their brain makes a thousands of calculations —  are you someone to like or to dislike? Can you be trusted or feared? Are you important or are you a lackey?

Each calculation is made at lightning speed — making major decisions about one another in the first seven seconds of meeting.

Let's break it down to each individual item:

Body Language/Body Image:

• What is your posture like when you walk? Are you hunched over? Are you straight and proud?
• Do you walk like Jason Bourne — A bit faster and with purpose?
• Are you shoulders square and are you looking straight ahead?

Facial Expression/Eye Contact:

• Are you smiling? Not a fake smarmy smile — a REALLY big smile?
• Do you 'brighten' your eyebrows when meeting someone?
• Are you looking them right in the eye?

Voice & Tonality:

• Do you introduce yourself energetically? "Hi, I'm Rich Gee. What's your name?"
• Do you say it with pride and enthusiasm or low and weak?
• Do you punch key words and emphasize your phrasing?
• Do you follow up with additional questions, "Tell me more!"
• Do you take a SINCERE interest in what they have to say?

Dress & Appearance:

• Are you wearing a sharp & clean uniform (suit, skirt, slacks, shirt, tie, jacket, etc.)?
• Does it suit your size? Age?
• How are your shoes?
• Are you wearing too much makeup? Cologne? Perfume? Jewelry? Accessories?

Handshake:

• Are you actually taking their hand and shaking it? Or just letting it lie there?
• Is it a firm (not killer) handshake? Is it a dead handshake?
• If you know them well — are you grasping with two hands? Giving them a hug?

Your first impression is so important. Practice, Prepare, and Present! They're going to LOVE you!

First Impressions Define Your Success.

Okay, I lied. Many things define your success. But one of the more important elements of initial and continued success are the ways other people perceive us. I've broken it down into five elements, so here goes:

Approach

How do you comport yourself? Do you slug along with your shoulders down, leaning on tables, head facing down? Try to change that - walk just a little bit faster wherever you go. Pick up the speed a little bit — a good measure is to move 20% faster, not a run, just a quicker pace.

Adjust your posture, don't stand straight up like a soldier — align your ears, shoulders, and hips — and your spine will relax into a natural 'S'. Try not to lean on tables, desks, cubicles — it communicates fatigue, laziness, boredom. If you don't feel like standing straight, then do something — look and act busy.

Handshake

Handshake is critical. The other day, a person pulled me aside and complimented me about my son's handshake. He was impressed how firm his shake was for a 14-year old boy. Understand, this is probably the only time you will touch another person and the tactual, kinesthetic action is very important to set a first impression. You need to practice it frequently — if it's too weak (clammy) or too strong (vise-like), you'll immediately set the wrong perception.

Facial Expression

Next time you have 1/2 hour and a cam in your laptop, record yourself working. When you review your recording, you might be surprised — most people's resting facial expression is one of anger or unhappiness. So if someone is looking or approaching you — you might not realize that you are actually presenting yourself with a less than appealing demeanor.

Try smiling more often — it takes less muscles and studies have shown that it makes you feel happier and gets the happy hormones flowing!

Dress

I'm not a fashion consultant — but I do know good choices of clothing and bad ones. When you first look at a person, the face is important, but your clothed body makes up a larger remainder of the perceived person. Dress nicely and if you want to, add an element of flair to your wardrobe — a scarf, a sharp tie, a cool belt, cool shoes. Make sure the scarf is not wrinkled, the tie is in-style and clean, your belt is shined with no visible scuff marks, and your shoes are in very good to excellent condition.

I'm also not going to get into the Boomer/Millennial argument about clothing. You know your environment, you know the people that you are trying to interact/reach out to/impress. Dress accordingly.

Let me let you in on a little secret: Years ago, when many offices made the decision to move from suits to casual dress, most employees sprinted into polo shirts and jeans. What did I do? I watched what all of my superiors were wearing — and guess what? I wore what they wore — sharp shirts and expensive slacks. Who got the best projects, the largest teams, the raises, and the promotions? ME.

Hygiene

Pay attention to your body - make sure your hair is perfect (mine is easy), that your smells are not too over-powering — shower, antiperspirant, a little cologne/perfume.

For you older folk, pay attention to hair that appears in strange places (nose/ears/face/hands) — I get more scared as I get older and see my hair migrate from my head to the Twilight Zones of my face. Pretty soon, I'll need hedge clippers from Black & Decker.

Also, good dental hygiene is important too. If you can, brush your teeth after lunch to get all the errant spinach from the crevices of your front incisors. At the very least, check your teeth with a mirror or give them a quick wipe with your napkin. Breath is all important — chew gum if you have too. Mr. Garlic or Mrs. Onion is not welcome when speaking one-on-one.

Hope these have helped. You probably do most, if not all of them. But I find that even I need a refresher course on how we present ourselves to deliver the best first impression.