ARTICLES
Written By Rich For You.
How To Always Make A Great First Impression.
Whenever you are on an interview or meeting a client for the first time or entering a conference room with another department — first impressions COUNT.
“First impressions are often the truest. A man's look is the work of years; it is stamped on his countenance by the events of his whole life, nay, more, by the hand of nature, and it is not to be got rid of easily.” - William Hazlitt Absolutely. Every time.
Whenever you are on an interview or meeting a client for the first time or entering a conference room with another department — first impressions COUNT.
- The way you look.
- The way you comport yourself.
- The way you smile and greet people.
- What you say.
- How you react to their response.
In about 5-10 seconds, you've already decided whether you like the person or not. Your opinion may change once you get to know them better, but your first impression will linger for a long time.
But here's something not said by most professionals: It's the successive mini-impressions that will solidify their first impression — and this is where most people screw up.
After the first 5-10 seconds, a first impression is generated. They've made a snap, emotional decision whether they like you and they begin to categorize you. Will you be a friend or enemy? Helpful or a drain? A resource or waste of time? A qualified applicant or another loser?
It's then the subsequent mini-impressions that make the difference:
- What comes out of your mouth.
- How you react to their questions or comments.
- How you take what they say and improve upon it.
- How you compliment/notice them.
Bottom line — you need to deliver maximum emotional intelligence and empathize with this person. Get your emotional antennae up, feel and listen.
The better you are in delivering a good first impression and then buttressing it up with successful mini-impressions, you'll hit a home run.
What do you do to deliver a good first impression? Have you ever started out badly and turned it around with successive mini-impressions?
First Impressions Define Your Success.
Okay, I lied. Many things define your success. But one of the more important elements of initial and continued success are the ways other people perceive us. I've broken it down into five elements, so here goes:
Okay, I lied. Many things define your success. But one of the more important elements of initial and continued success are the ways other people perceive us.
I've broken it down into five elements, so here goes:
Approach
How do you comport yourself? Do you slug along with your shoulders down, leaning on tables, head facing down? Try to change that - walk just a little bit faster wherever you go. Pick up the speed a little bit — a good measure is to move 20% faster, not a run, just a quicker pace.
Adjust your posture, don't stand straight up like a soldier — align your ears, shoulders, and hips — and your spine will relax into a natural 'S'. Try not to lean on tables, desks, cubicles — it communicates fatigue, laziness, boredom. If you don't feel like standing straight, then do something — look and act busy.
Handshake
Handshake is critical. The other day, a person pulled me aside and complimented me about my son's handshake. He was impressed how firm his shake was for a 14-year old boy. Understand, this is probably the only time you will touch another person and the tactual, kinesthetic action is very important to set a first impression. You need to practice it frequently — if it's too weak (clammy) or too strong (vise-like), you'll immediately set the wrong perception.
Facial Expression
Next time you have 1/2 hour and a cam in your laptop, record yourself working. When you review your recording, you might be surprised — most people's resting facial expression is one of anger or unhappiness. So if someone is looking or approaching you — you might not realize that you are actually presenting yourself with a less than appealing demeanor.
Try smiling more often — it takes less muscles and studies have shown that it makes you feel happier and gets the happy hormones flowing!
Dress
I'm not a fashion consultant — but I do know good choices of clothing and bad ones. When you first look at a person, the face is important, but your clothed body makes up a larger remainder of the perceived person. Dress nicely and if you want to, add an element of flair to your wardrobe — a scarf, a sharp tie, a cool belt, cool shoes. Make sure the scarf is not wrinkled, the tie is in-style and clean, your belt is shined with no visible scuff marks, and your shoes are in very good to excellent condition.
I'm also not going to get into the Boomer/Millennial argument about clothing. You know your environment, you know the people that you are trying to interact/reach out to/impress. Dress accordingly.
Let me let you in on a little secret: Years ago, when many offices made the decision to move from suits to casual dress, most employees sprinted into polo shirts and jeans. What did I do? I watched what all of my superiors were wearing — and guess what? I wore what they wore — sharp shirts and expensive slacks. Who got the best projects, the largest teams, the raises, and the promotions? ME.
Hygiene
Pay attention to your body - make sure your hair is perfect (mine is easy), that your smells are not too over-powering — shower, antiperspirant, a little cologne/perfume.
For you older folk, pay attention to hair that appears in strange places (nose/ears/face/hands) — I get more scared as I get older and see my hair migrate from my head to the Twilight Zones of my face. Pretty soon, I'll need hedge clippers from Black & Decker.
Also, good dental hygiene is important too. If you can, brush your teeth after lunch to get all the errant spinach from the crevices of your front incisors. At the very least, check your teeth with a mirror or give them a quick wipe with your napkin. Breath is all important — chew gum if you have too. Mr. Garlic or Mrs. Onion is not welcome when speaking one-on-one.
Hope these have helped. You probably do most, if not all of them. But I find that even I need a refresher course on how we present ourselves to deliver the best first impression.
Do You Have The Girlfriend Effect?
What's the Girlfriend Effect? Remember in high school, if a boy didn't have a girlfriend, it was pretty darn near impossible for him to attract one? But if the boy did have a girlfriend, all her friends seemed to flock over to him and be instantly interested in him?
Remember in high school, if a boy didn't have a girlfriend, it was pretty darn near impossible for him to attract one? But if the boy did have a girlfriend, all her friends seemed to flock over to him and be instantly interested in him?
Well, the girlfriend effect is alive and well in business today and it starts with the atmosphere you create.
It's how you act, your confidence, your self-esteem, the way you react in situations, the way you carry yourself.
If you own or run your own business or if you are an executive in a corporation, you understand the power of first impressions, charisma, and confident behavior.
If you don't have it, you need to get it. When I work with my clients, I frequently say that you need to always have your "hot shit" persona on. Because if you don't think you are important, influential, and experienced, no one will. It all starts with you.
Here are some incredible books that you can grab to build your confidence, charisma, and image:
- Executive Charisma: Six Steps to Mastering the Art of Leadership By D.A. Benton. A proven six-step process for acquiring the style, flair, and credibility needed to make it to the top. According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, managers who do not exude an all encompassing self-confidence, style, poise, and energy, in short, “executive presence,” are highly unlikely to make it to the corner office.
- The Secret Language of Success: Using Body Language to Get What You Want By David Lewis. The jewel of my library. Have you ever felt that you could walk into a room without being noticed and leave and not be missed? Your inability to make your presence felt has probably made you frustrated on more than one occasion. This book teaches you the secret language of silent speech and body language.
- How to Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie. This is the bible — buy it and live it. This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated.