2015 - Essential Tips For The Year Ahead.

This will be a 'user's guide' to help you best navigate 2015 based on the current changes in the marketplace. Headline: Business life as we know it is over. Things are changing at an ever faster rate — so you need to keep up or fall behind. No sitting still or hiding.

1. The idea of keeping your head down, working hard, not making ripples and hoping for the best is gone forever. 

The world isn't over — just the opposite — there are innumerable opportunities out there. So MANY opportunities.

How? Keep your eyes peeled constantly and stay flexible with your projects. Develop a 360° view — what's happening with management, your peers and your team? You can't stay immobile for very long — keep your view and actions constant.

Read This: Extreme Mojo (Or Driving On The Corporate Autobahn).

2. Keep as many options open as possible. 

Little or no options at your disposal invites tragedy. If you have a choice, you then have a way out of the corner you just painted yourself into.

How? If you lose a client, you should have 2-3 waiting in the wings. Keep meeting new people constantly. Keep your resume up to date. Look for new opportunities at other companies.

Read This: How Safe Is Your Career Today?

3. Keep your eye on the marketplace.

Who's up? Who's down? Why? Who are the movers and shakers in the industry? Is there a way you can meet them, get to know them, become friends? How? Start following some of your favorite companies and organizations. Read industry magazines and surf their sites. A well-informed professional is a force to be reckoned with.

Read This: Without A Doubt, The Money Is Still Out There.

4. Keep learning.

Your brain doesn't have a finite amount of space — keep filling it up with new knowledge, new experiences, and new behaviors.

How? When was the last time you read a business book cover-to-cover? How often do you read and follow the Wall Street Journal? When do you meet with peers in your industry for lunch to swap ideas, insights, and stories? You need to start doing it immediately.

Read This: 8 Things I Wish I Learned In College.

5. Take stock of your habits and behaviors.

Which ones move you forward? Which ones hold you back? Which ones do nothing? Understand these habits and begin to change them — it won't happen overnight — but a slow, focused and determined process will allow you to overcome almost anything.

How? Write down some of the habits you know hold you back — procrastination, cocooning, etc. Put in place behaviors which will counteract some of these bad habits. If you cocoon (stay in your office all day) — get out and meet new people.

Read This: How To Eliminate Procrastination From Your Life.

6. Be a billboard.

There are people who want you. They want what you can do. They want your products and services. They just can't find you. How?

Read This: How To Become Unfireable: Be A Billboard.

Don't be afraid of 2015. It's imperative you buck that trend 180 degrees and embrace your future. In good and bad times, there are people out there making a lot of money and getting promotions. You can do it too.

Don't hide. Get out there and do things that SCARE you.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. How did you like this article? Let me know. Are you interested in learning more? Let’s talk. I work with people from all over the world who need to take aggressive steps in their career — call me to schedule a test drive.

Top 10 Most Read Articles In 2014.

Every year, I go back and track my website analytics to uncover what articles really resonated with my readers. Here are my top ten for 2014 to get you ready for 2015!

1. The Most Important Thing You Should Do In The Shower.

Acknowledge and feel gratitude for all the special things in your life.

2. How To Network Like A Pro.

Last night, I was invited to attend a gala event at the prominent investment firm in NYC. Here are some key techniques that I used to make the night a fruitful and productive one.

3. Build The Best Standing Desk For Your Office.

Lately, I’ve been reading about the healthy aspects of standing desks and learned about all the attributes of standing: better posture, more active, easy to reach items, etc.

4. Be Like Jack LaLanne.

I grew up with Jack LaLanne. I used to watch him every morning on TV. Jack taught me a lot of things about life — especially to stay positive all the time.

5. How To Eliminate Guilt About Not Doing Everything.

Some Shiny Objects are good. Some are bad. Let’s talk about the BAD Shiny Objects.

6. Be A Better Leader – 30 Leadership Hacks For Managers.

Here are my top 30 hacks to make you a better leader.

7. Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

When dying patients were questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five.

8. Five Tips To Fix A Bad Relationship With Your Boss.

You're getting the feeling your relationship has soured with your boss. How do you repair it?

9. Hitting A Wall In Your Career? You Need A Breakthrough.

It's tough today. It’s hard when everything is coming at you. Hard to think. Hard to act. Hard to react. As they always say — the first step is always the hardest.

10a. You’re Not Charging Enough For Your Services - Part One

10b. How To Charge More For Your Services. - Part Two

I received a huge response from readers who requested a number of techniques to help them raise their pricing. It became a two-part article. Enjoy!

If you truly want to change your life, career, or business this year. Check out my complimentary Test Drive.

Pre-New Year Is A Smart Time To Forge Your Career Strategy for 2015.

You’re not happy with your job. Or you might not have a job at the moment. Most people in this position will look at the month of December as a time of rest and relaxation and tell themselves that they will begin their brand-new job search on January 1, 2015. Unfortunately, they will be far behind their competition in the marketplace who are actively looking for a job. Bottom line, you need to develop a career strategy during the month of December to know who your targeting, what you will do, where you will go, when you will do it, and how you will track your progress. We know the ‘why’ — you need to find a new position!

Now you’re probably thinking that I’m suggesting an enormous task for you to accomplish during a month filled with holidays, families visiting, school vacations, etc. You just won’t have the time to even start thinking of a strategy to help you kick off the new year. That’s where you’re wrong.

All I’m asking for is 1 hour a day, five days a week. That’s it. Instead of watching a really bad TV show every weekday night, all I’m asking for is just one hour to plan and ensure a successful job search. So what do you do?

Step One:

Find a quiet place in your home with no distractions or interruptions. This time is for you. Get a notebook to take notes and have your laptop handy to do incremental information searches on the web.

Step Two:

I want you to draw a vertical line down the center of a piece of paper. At the top of the left side write “Energize” and on the right side write “Enervate”. Under Energize, I want you to list all the elements of your last job that you really enjoyed and energized you. Under Enervate, I want you to list all the elements of your last job that you hated and de-motivated you. Now you know what to look for in a job.

Step Three:

I want you to research your industry and better understand who are the big players, where it is going, where they are going and what the future holds. This will give you a better feel for who to target in your job search.

Step Four:

I want you to pick 5-10 organizations or companies you would LOVE to work for. Not just ‘like’ or ‘it would be nice’, I want you to LOVE them. Do a little research on each one, see where they are and where they’re going, find out who are the key people in your area of the organization.

Step Five:

Housekeeping — I want you to clean up your résumé and your LinkedIn profile. Add in any additional info from your current research. These two areas must shine before you begin to look for a position. Also, check all of your current (and past) social media like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Foursquare, etc. You need to clean them up or if you can, make them private. You need to put on a perfect face for potential opportunities.

Step Six:

Begin to plan out a schedule starting on January 1. If you’re currently employed, begin to figure out when you can allocate time to research, contact, and interview new career opportunities. If you are in transition, develop a 40-hour a week schedule that includes research, networking, visits to the library, etc. You need to be busy starting in January, the best thing you can do is be prepared with a comprehensive schedule.

This is just a short overview of what you can do, but it helps you develop a great action plan to kick off the new year with energy and focus. Good Luck!

Rich Gee is CEO of the Rich Gee Group, a career coaching practice located in Stamford, CT. You can reach Rich at www.richgee.com and catch his 700+ articles on career success.

The Most Important Thing You Should Do In The Shower.

My 13-year-old son hit me with a blinding insight the other day. "Dad, why are you so happy when I get home? I'm tired from school and practice and you're all excited when I walk through the door!"

After I stopped laughing, we sat down, I reflected and told him, "I love my life."

"I love you, your Mom and your brother at college. We're healthy, we have a roof over our heads, we're never hungry, and I love what I do for a living."

I added, "We have lots of friends and our families are doing just fine. And the best part? It's getting cold outside and we get to fire up our wood stove every night (it's something we both love to do)."

When was the last time you said "I love my life"? Candidly, it doesn't take a lot. I didn't mention grand palatial estates, world travel, chauffeured limos in the driveway, or pile of gold and diamonds everywhere. I mentioned what REALLY matters in your life — your relationships, your health, and what's happening right now. Don't project into the future and worry. Don't fall back into the past and feel guilty.

Stay in the present — acknowledge and feel gratitude for all the special things in your life RIGHT NOW. Every morning when you take a shower, I want you to go through all the good things happening in your life. Think about each one while you meditate under the water coming out of the shower. Try to do it every day.

Gratitudes are better than a cup of coffee! Try it.

Ask Rich Gee: Career Questions From Quora.

Frequently, I am asked questions from people within the website Quora — I try my best to answer most — but candidly, there are too many. Here are some of my best answers to great questions concerning people's careers:

What is more difficult in the long run, working for a company or running your own business?

Both are difficult and rewarding in their own ways:

• Company - you have a boss to keep happy, you have set work hours, you get a regular paycheck, you get a paid location to work at, you get benefits, and you also get jerk bosses, the chance to lose your job instantly, cancelled projects, and frequently depressed coworkers.
• Business - you have a clients to keep happy, you have flexible work hours, your paycheck is based on how hard your work and hustle, you get to work at home, you get to pay for your own benefits, and you also get no jerk bosses (but jerk clients), the chance to lose your clients at the drop of a hat, cancelled projects, and you might be frequently depressed.

All kidding aside (but I was telling the truth) - both have their ups and downs, sometimes you feel in control with both, and sometimes you feel out of control with both.

I've done both - 20 years in corporate - 14 years coaching - and both are hard/easy, rewarding/frustrating, but all in all - it's a great ride.

My suggestion? Start a company.

How long does it take to settle in at a new job?

On average - 3-6 months. Not only do you need to meet, develop and hone relationships with key people, you need to learn the whole business - how it works, what are the levers/movers, what are the clients like, etc.

You also need to see how the company reacts to emergencies, slow-time, reactive decisions from management, and industry shifts.

I hate to say 'settle in', because when I'm settled, I'm bored. You need to constantly challenge yourself - do new things, meet new people, etc.

Where on their resumes might long-term unemployed job candidates address their current career gaps?

Are you not getting traction with your current résumé? (a lot of opportunities/recruiters/hiring managers passing on you?)

If not, don't do anything. If so, and if the gaps are frequent and wide, you might want to fill in those gaps. Some suggestions:

1. You didn't sit on the couch all day and watch Jerry Springer. You probably did something - volunteered, side job, etc. Let them know.
2. Did you try to start a business? Did you do side work (consulting) that you were paid for? Let them know.
3. If you really didn't do anything for a LONG time and your résumé isn't getting traction, you might say you helped out a sick family member at home - most of the time recruiters might ask a small question, but it's happening more and more every day as our population ages. I know this might be a 'white lie' and a fireable offense - but if you are consistently striking out, you have to do something to change the dynamic.

#3 might rankle some readers — but there are a lot of people who are lost right now looking for a replacement job and they've gone YEARS without employment.

What kind of advice would you give to a 40-something starting a new job where she'll be working alongside 20-somethings?

1. Listen more than preach. You are not their 'sensei' right now, you just work with them. Also, be patient.
2. Ask questions. They might know more than you do. And they probably do.
3. Don't talk about your kids, your injuries, your parents, or any other 40+ year-old concern. 20 year-olds don't care.
4. Don't try to 'be cool'. Be yourself. Be interested, but be yourself.
5. Let them make their own mistakes. If they ask you for advice, then you give it to them. Ultimately, they will look to you as their 'sensei' if you do it right.
6. Try to do things that they do. If they invite you out for drinks, go. If they mention a band, listen to them. If they talk about a movie, check it out.
7. Compliment them. We tend to forget to do that with our younger counterparts.
8. Work out, stay in shape, eat healthy, and keep a close eye on your wardrobe style. You don't want to dress like Lou in MadMen. Also keep an eye on your hairstyle.
9. Look at your glasses style. Too many guys and gals wear really old frames they wore in high school. Get with the program and style up.
10. Grow an interest in some of the things they might be interested in - music, movies, books, theater, etc. If you show a sincere interest in their passions, they might ask you about yours.

Extra-Credit: Keep up with TECHNOLOGY. I'm 52 and get so angry at people my age who have problems, disregard or disparage simple technology I use easily. YOU LOOK OLD immediately if you have frequent problems with email, the web, your phone (get a smartphone), etc.

GardenFork & Rich Gee Again!

Once again, Eric Rochow from the world-class podcast GardenFork TV has asked me to 'co-host' an episode with him! We talk about my new IKEA standing desk, Mowers vs. Tractors, and Time Management!

If you want to hear our great stories, insightful information, and some funny banter, CLICK HERE!

P.S. If you want to learn more about how to build the standing desk I built, CLICK HERE!

How To Take Charge Of Your Job Search.

I've worked with hundreds of job-seekers and presented to thousands about searching for a job. A lot (and I mean A LOT) of people derail their job search for one simple reason: You're scared.

It's not a horror movie scare where the monster jumps out at you in a dark room. It's a pervasive and creeping scare that festers and grows in the back of your brain.

You slowly disorient yourself, knock your game off a bit, throw obstacles in the way and ultimately, cower and hide in your house.

And it all comes down to ONE simple reason — you are doing something totally alien from what you've done all your life. Looking for a job is completely different from having a job. Why?

• You have to self-assess your qualifications, experience, and abilities.
• You have to write in a marketing style using your self-assessment.
• You have to go out, introduce yourself to strangers and meet new people.
• You might have to change your style and how you present yourself.
• You will be meeting people who are highly critical and will ask you questions which will obliterate your confidence.
• You will have to quickly ramp up your interview game with improved body language and talk tracks.
• You will have to sell . . . Yourself . . . every day. A lot of people compare it to professional begging.
• You have to be totally organized and follow up with key prospects (and laggards who don't get back to you).
• Finally, you have to be extremely professional, happy, motivated, energized, and focused during the whole process.

Now you know why many people in transition hire coaches. It's hard to find a job.

But I find being scared is the #1 reason why most people procrastinate and fail at their job search. You get laid off, you take a week or two (or three or four) to recover and get down to business. You get your résumé done, you begin searching web sites for job postings and you even might apply to a few. You don't get any responses, so what do you do? You apply to some more. No responses? Reach out to a recruiter and watch as they demolish your background, your résumé, and any self-esteem left over from your last departure (okay, not all recruiters). Throw in some lunches with friends and family who hurt you more than help and suddenly, you're this person:

• You walk your dog every morning, for hours.
• You have the best looking yard on the block. The best.
• You surf political/interest/financial/news sites frequently, "To keep up on what's happening".
• You get up later and later. You stay up later and later.
• You begin to help out in the household — shopping, repairs, service people, etc.
• You begin to spend more and more time with your kids (picking them up, taking them to activities). Not a bad thing, but you have to look for work too.
• You might start eating or drinking a bit more. "You deserve it."
• And you start acting like you really don't need a job. (this is the death knell for jobseekers)

And the whole time, you're building a 'facade of fear' brick by brick until it becomes a wall 100 feet tall. Nothing is going to help you break through.

And then . . . you give up. I've coached people who have gone without work for 2, 3, 4 years! This is how their year flies by:

• January 1 to March 31 — It's a new year! Have to get a job! Send out resumes, get some interviews, play phone tag for months.
• April 1 to May 31 — Slightly power down search, depressed about the lost opportunities, frustrated about the process. Begins to work on yard — Spring is here!
• June 1 to August 31 — It's summer! No one looks for jobs now! I get to take off the summer and tell people I will dive right in September 1. I can spend time with the family!
• September 1 to November 15 — Have to restart that old job search engine! Review all my old searches, reach out to new people, and the first objection shuts me down again.
• November 16 to December 31 — Holidays! No one will be at the office (they're empty!) and no one wants to talk to me. Let's wait until January 1 to power up again.

Does this sound like you? I coach businesses and executives too and they think the exact same way. They know they need to change, but the year flies by too fast and suddenly, it's November 16th!

How to you lessen and conquer your fear? First, you have to be very truthful with yourself and diagnose your fear:

• Do you feel you are inadequate? Unqualified?
• Do you feel you've fallen behind in your career? Industry?
• Do you read job postings and find many terms new and unfamiliar?
• Do you have a hard time promoting yourself?
• Do you have a hard time meeting new people?
• Do you not want to change how you comport and promote yourself?
• Can you not take constructive criticism from people without it destroying your self-esteem?
• Do you not like to sell? Cold-call people?
• Do you have a hard time with organization, time management, and follow-up?
• Are you too old/young? Too fat/skinny/bald/ugly/unkept?

Guess what? Many of these might be true. But here's some sunlight at the end of the tunnel — they're all fixable. Except for the bald part, I've tried.

And here's the best part — most of them are only partially true, or not true at all. Why? We are our own worst enemy — our own worst critic — and when we spin each of these 'dysfunctions' around in our brain, we make them worse and worse as time flies by. I tell clients we all have a small Stephen King in the back of our brains, spinning horror stories about our problems, our dysfunctions, and our inadequacies.

Fear is the most powerful destabilizer I know. Your fear of the future can knock you off your feet and cripple your job search for months. But I have a SOLUTION. Follow these steps:

1. Your middle name from now on is ACTION. If you stand still and worry, fear will overcome you. ACTION will eliminate your fear. Trust me.
2. Get on a strict schedule Monday through Friday. Make a pact with yourself to work at least 30 hours a week on your job search (40 is optimal).
3. Get up early (sorry sleepyheads). If you start your day early, you will get a lot more done.
4. Time-block your schedule. Account for every hour every day. Fill up your schedule with important items — calls, meetings, research, etc.
5. Make sure you get out of your house once a day. Go to the library, Starbucks, the park. Anywhere except your house.
6. Make sure you keep your body moving. Work out, walk, run — do something to keep you fit and healthy. Eat less, eat the right foods, and tone up your body. You have to package your look in the best way possible.
7. Get out and meet people. Reach out to old friends, colleagues and meet for coffee. Pick out the ones that energize you. Ask for help.
8. Network. Go to events, meetings, conferences, charity events — meet people, shake hands, learn about what they do.
9. Hit the Three-Legged Stool of Search. Check out the company boards, reach out to recruiters, and most of all, research and reach out to companies and key people who might hire you.
10. Push yourself. Try something new every day. What will be happening in the next 5 years in your industry? Figure it out.
11. Buy a new suit/shirt/blouse/tie/shoes. Look good. Hire a style consultant or walk into Nordstroms/Brooks Brothers/Other and have their style person help you.
12. Track, Track, Track. Keep a list of all your prospects, interviews, people, etc. Look at it every day and move the ball forward.
13. Keep a sunshine file or wall. Fill it up with powerful/memorable items on it. When you're down — look at it.
14. Motivate yourself every day. Listen to motivational speakers on your smartphone. Listen to music. Work out. Do something!

Just keep moving. If you slow down, think of something else you can do. Fear is the ultimate destabilizer and can derail your search for months (and even years!). The faster you find a job, the better you'll feel.

And if these items don't help — let me add a bit more gasoline to your fire:

Let's say you made $120,000 a year. That's $10,000 a month. If you are unemployed for one month, you've just cost your household $10,000. That's $2,500 a week. Or $500 every workday you don't work.

So if you goof off for ONE DAY — that's $500. So go to the bank, take out $500, and put each bill into your shredder. Because when you are not looking for a job, your shredding money.

It's that simple.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Need help with your fear? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with hundreds of people who wanted to take aggressive steps and re-start their job search — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

Hey CEO, Are You Killing Yourself At Work?

You work hard. You come in early, stay late, and work over the weekends. Of course . . . you're the CEO (or the President, CFO, CMO, CIO, you get the idea). You constantly think about work, even in your sleep.

But you have the primo position, the unbelievable pay, the power to move mountains, and your future already written in stone.

But it's not enough. So you do more. And more. And more.

But what falls by the wayside? Your health? Your spouse or partner? Your kids? Your close relationships?

Yes, you might allocate an hour or two for them a week — but is it enough?

When is work enough when you keep moving the bar upwards every time you reach it?

Let's check out California-based Mohamed El-Erian, when he shocked the financial world when he announced his resignation as chief executive of PIMCO earlier this year:

"The 56-year-old said the "wake-up call" happened when he was arguing with his daughter about brushing her teeth and she left to fetch a piece of paper from her room. "It was a list that she had compiled of her important events and activities that I had missed due to work commitments," he wrote. "The list contained 22 items, from her first day at school and first soccer match of the season to a parent-teacher meeting and a Halloween parade. "I felt awful and got defensive: I had a good excuse for each missed event! Travel, important meetings, an urgent phone call, sudden to-do. "But it dawned on me that I was missing an infinitely more important point ... I was not making nearly enough time for her." (read more here)

Is money enough? How much do you really have to make? Is there a figure you're striving for? Are you reaching for the 'Rockefeller' stratosphere in wealth, power, and influence? Is it worth it?

Or let's see what billionaire Agit Agarwal did:

"He and his family decided to donate 75% of their wealth to charity after meeting Bill Gates, the world’s richest person. Agarwal has a fortune of $3.3 billion, where Gates, the co-founder of Microsoft Corp., has a fortune valued at $84.7 billion. “What we earn must be returned for the greater good of society,” the 62-year-old said at an event yesterday. “Life is not only about wealth.” (read more here).

Many times in life, one needs to step back, re-assess and prioritize the important things in life.

Why?

"Because we get so caught up in the race, we forget there's a finish line, and miss all the fun of running."

So take time out today (or even take a day off this week) to better understand the REAL important things in your life. Start putting them at the top of your list.

I work with many C-Level and Executive leaders to re-orient their lives and focus on what's really important. Drop me a line and I'll show you how.

Why Don't We Hug More?

Who's a hugger out there? Many years ago (25 to be exact), my best friend's sister and her husband came over for dinner one night. At the end of the night, when we were saying our goodbyes, instead of handshakes, we got hugs from both of them. Not just the quick hug — but a deep hug with a real squeeze that meant something.

It might sound funny that I remember that 25 years later, but it made an impression on me. It was powerful. And before we go any further, let me state that there was nothing leading or sexual about it. It was just a hug. But it was a great hug.

Let's be honest, a handshake just goes so far. I totally understand if you just met the person — at that point, a handshake is perfectly fine. But during personal interactions, when you meet someone at a small holiday dinner party and you speak with them for the better of 3-4 hours, isn't a good hug at the end of the night a great way to share your personal experience? I think studies find that it's a bit more sanitary too — no real hand-to-hand contact.

How about professional interactions? I can totally understand the 'sexual harassment' issues that might arise if your gave a hug the wrong way to your team, peers, or superiors. How about with established vendors that you've been working with for years? Is a hug in order then? I know when someone wins an award and if it's in front of a lot of people, hugs are normally given.

Step back for a second — hugs are GREAT. They impart real feeling to the other person — a deep appreciation for who they are and what they mean to you. Especially when you've known or worked with that person for a long time.

So if you could hug more professionally (without fear of any harassment charges) would you? Do you hug now?

I would love to hear your stories about how important hugs are for you!

P.S. If you're not convinced, here's a video you should watch — click here.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

What Is Your Most Productive Workday?

I was flying the other day to the midwest and read this article: "39% of hiring managers say Tuesday is the most productive workday. Nearly two-fifths of managers polled deemed it the day to get things done. But beware of hump day, which grabbed just 14% of the vote. To avoid a midweek nosedive in efficiency, take a look at the big picture when planning your workweek, and truly recharge over the weekend. Too many of us fall into the trap of doing chores and running errands instead of spending quality time with loved ones." - From Spirit Magazine, Southwest Airlines

There's a few salient items in that quote:

1. Monday is your Jump Day where you plan your week and catch up on any tasks not accomplished the week before. Make sure you take time first thing in the morning to lay out a reasonable and accurate schedule. Block out all of your meetings, activities, and heads-down work time. Be honest and add in flex time in-between in case something happens.
2. If Tuesday is your most productive workday, come in early and get a jump on your colleagues. I used to arrive around 6-6:30 AM and immediately start banging out work where my colleagues would wander in around 8:30-9 AM. I would get 2-3 hours of work in before they even unpacked their briefcase.
3. If Wednesday is truly your 'hump' day at the office, try to plan to get out and meet new people, host a lunch at a restaurant, or even telecommute. If your colleagues are cranky, keep your door closed and stay internally motivated — no drive-by's around the office to say 'hi'.
4. Play on the weekends — don't spend the entire time food shopping, running around with errands, and working around the house. Have fun! Spend some time catching up on your reading, go hiking with your family, hit a trendy new restaurant with your loved ones. These are the reasons why you work — to enjoy your life!

Take each day as it comes, but have a plan to leverage each day!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Want to be more productive? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with thousands of people who wanted to take assertive steps in this area — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

How Safe Is Your Career Today?

Today, work is weird, complex, and ever-changing — but you have the talent and tools to take advantage of this situation and grow your career. Let's get right to it:

1. Don't drink the Kool-Aid.

The news is sensationalized and fear sells. Things are rarely as good as they seem and things are rarely as bad as they seem. If you allow yourself to give in to the news, you will determine your destiny. When people tell me about the bad business atmosphere, I tell them “I have chosen not to participate.”

2. Reach out to your contacts - NOW.

Past and present contacts, colleagues and friends are the lifeblood of any career (“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”). The ’robustness’ and recency of your contact list is a great barometer of your career’s health. Call your closest contacts & colleagues and ask them how they are. Listen. Don't talk, offer help. Have lunch, drink coffee, and strengthen those contacts! Send birthday or ‘just for being you’ cards to keep in touch and make them feel special. No one does this and it makes the recipient feel special.

3. Focus on what you do best.

You need to present a extremely positive persona to management - this is the time where they might be looking at cutting the bottom 10%. Be a partner to your boss - ask for more work. No one really does it and you will stand out as a “can-do” member of their team. Come in early or stay late (or do both!). The perception of a hard worker is a valuable one during bad times. In addition, you might be there when your boss comes back from a grueling exec meeting and needs help with the newly assigned project. Be smart and flexible - look at all of your activities and projects - which ones are more important and which are the ones that can be shelved, streamlined or retired? The 80/20 rule comes into play - make a list and then review with your boss.

4. Keep your ear to the ground.

It is essential in down times to have a clear picture of where your company’s revenues and expenses come from. Companies are retrenching and focusing on the areas that will deliver the highest ROI. Stand back and see what projects, departments, or people are slated to be cut. Ask questions, read industry journals/blogs, and keep up on the business news. Track your company on the web - sometimes you hear something that isn’t currently communicated in your company. But take it with a grain of salt.  Listen to what your colleagues are saying - but don’t accept it as gospel. Also, don’t add to the gossip or play “what-if” scenarios with them - it will waste time.

5. Look at your “product”.

It’s IMAGE, IMAGE, IMAGE. How do you clothes look? How does your hair look? How do YOU look? Hate to say it - it’s perception people. Not only when people first meet you - it’s when they work with you day in and day out. Critically look at yourself and see what you might need to change and how you would go about it.Always dress one step above everyone else. No excuses. If everyone is casual, you wear country-club casual. Ensure that your clothes are made of the highest quality and are regularly pressed and clean.  Spend the money and go to a better barber/stylist. I don’t have much to work with and I still go to one of the most expensive barbers in the area. He makes me look as good as I can. Do you need to tone your physique? Hit the gym - watch what you eat. It’s that simple.

6. Connect with new people. 

The best defense is a good offense. This may be a sports cliche, but right now, it rings true. Now is not the time to go into hiding, based on fear of the recession. It’s the time to ramp up your networking, personal public relations, and marketing to actively remind people of your presence. Go to associations, meetings, conventions that are associated with your profession. Not only will you meet a lot of engaging people, you will re-energize your batteries AND your might get a lead on a great position! Set up coffees and lunches with people that you don’t know, but want to know. We all have people that we admire – reach out to them – take them to lunch. They eat just like you do! And what is the benefit? They are always on the lookout for new talent!

7. Review your resume.

Too many people let their resumes grow old gracefully. When they really need them, they have to scramble and cobble together a mish-mash of experience that no one really wants to read. You need to get your resume in order NOW. So some tips:

• Use a professional resume writer. They should run $200-$400, but you will get an incredible, document that sells. Call me – I know the best!
• Keep it concise. Unless you have been in the business for 30 years or are a CEO – keep it to 2 pages or less. Again – people are looking for someone who can say less with impact – your first chance is your resume.

8. Get financially fit. 

One of the biggest worries people have during downturns is losing their job. They crawl into a hole and hope for the best. Usually, it is financially motivated. How would you feel if you had six months worth of available funds if you suddenly lost your job? A little bit better? A little bit more confident? Start now. Having 3-6 months of current income stashed away in a cash account (savings, money market) will allow you to act normally during times like these. Worst case scenario? If you do lose your job, you have 3-6 months of full-time looking to find a new one before you begin to really deplete your savings. In addition, you probably will get some type of severance with COBRA – so stop worrying!

9. Talk with your boss. 

During an economic downturn everyone is skittish and hungry for information. You’re wondering how the company is doing, whether the team is vulnerable to layoffs, or if the strategy for the next few quarters has changed.  Even if the situation is tight, being upfront with your boss about your concerns creates and reinforces an environment of trust. Catch them at the end of the day – sit down and just converse with them. During a pause ask (in a very light interrogative tone): “So how are we doing? Is there anything we need to worry about?”. Your boss will probably open up and tell you info that normally they would not tell the team. Try it – it works. But if you have a boss that tends to keep information or hide things, watch their body language – if their eyes look downward or away from you when talking – they might be hiding bad news.

10. re-VISION your career. 

I love downturns in the economy. Why? When executives get scared, they get going and they get SMART. They begin to look at everything they do – how can they use time more effectively? If the company is losing customers, where can they find new and different customers/clients?  Take a step back and RE-vision your career – understand your key interests and strengths and investigate new opportunities in YOUR marketplace. Are you still a hot commodity on the market? If yes, great – get out there and sell YOU to potential new bidders. If no, you need to re-vision your career – measure your capabilities and apply them to the NEW marketplace. I know of a lot of realtors and financial planners that are doing this right now.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Want to expand your networking success? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with thousands of people who wanted to take assertive steps in this area — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

How To Network Like A Pro.

Last night, I was invited to attend a gala event at the prominent investment firm in NYC. There were 500-600 people there to meet, greet, and listen to great speakers talk about the market.  I was invited by one of my past clients - so I didn't break in uninvited like I usually do. Just kidding.

Here are some key techniques that I used to make the night a fruitful and productive one:

1. Don't Go To Ask For Leads, Go There To Help People Get Leads.

So many people HATE networking. Why? When you go around a room full of begging for business and connections, it SUCKS. You have to change your perspective 180° and go to HELP people and not ask for help. You are there to connect — get to know them, understand their needs, and figure out how to help them.

2. Show Up Early.

Ensure that you actually get there and are parked safely way ahead of time. With traffic, wrong turns and accidents, you never know what will impact your travel. It also gives you time to get the lay of the land, see how people are dressed/acting, and talk to some of the support staff to learn about the building/event. My client actually scoped out the location the day before, got a guided tour of the building from security, and learned all about the history of the building - which he used as a talking point when he networked. BRAVO!

3. Wear Your Nametag The RIGHT Way.

Bring your own in addition to the one that they provide. Nametags are CRITICAL to the networking process. Unfortunately, most event planners get a big 'F-' when they design the nametag. Usually, your name (the most important item on the nametag) is too small and their logo is too big. Morgan Stanley did it right - my name was nice and big (even enlarging my first name) all to make it stand out and readable from a distance. I also had my personal nametag in my breast pocket of my suit - just in case they failed misarably with the layout. Also - pin/clip your nametag to your left lapel (right side if you are looking down). Why? When you shake hands with someone, it allows their eyes to follow up your arm to your nametag. Trust me - this is the best way for people to remember your name.

4. Triangulate Your Body.

When networking with a partner, many people tend to face one another. This is a huge faux pas. By doing this, you literally cut yourself off from everyone else and announce (with your body language) that any intrusion into your conversation is not welcome. My client and I actively 'triangulated' ourselves at a 45 degree angle when we spoke. This invited others to mingle in and introduce themselves without fear of intrusion.

5. Always Have A Free Hand.

Juggling a drink and an appetizer plate? Put one down. Always have a free hand to shake hands, make a point, or touch someone to enforce an idea. I can't tell you how many people bumble and juggle their drink/food when you first meet them. It doesn't leave a good first impression.

6. Act Like A Host.

Nervous about walking up to people and introducing yourself? Just act like a host - walk up, introduce yourself, and ask how their night is going. Or how the food is. Or is their wine up to snuff. They will never ask you if you are the host - they will just infer that you are an important person and you care about their welfare. A great way to start a professional relationship!

7. Always Talk About THEM.

Bottom line, who cares about you? Only YOU. So always position the conversation around the person you are talking to. Use my technique - Ask a question, listen, repeat. The more your ask questions, the more you learn about the person you are talking to AND the more that they are engaged into the conversation. This allows you to position and align any answers you provide to their interests.

There are so many more - but these are the best for now.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Want to expand your networking success? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with thousands of people who wanted to take assertive steps in this area — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

Grow Your Position In Three Small Steps.

Sometimes we feel trapped at work. Doing the same thing day after day. Handling the same issues, the same malcontents and ultimately getting nowhere. What can you do to move forward?

When I work with teams, I have them perform a lot of teamwork, but I also refocus them on a series of simple exercises to help them grow their position.

I call it Change-Grow-Help. Simply, take a step back and look at what you do all day and think about what three things you can do to make it bigger, better, and more engaging.

CHANGE

What's one thing can I change in my day-to-day work to make it more streamlined, more efficient and effective?

Why CHANGE? Because we get stale. We end up doing things that are easy, familiar, and comfortable. To move forward, we need to mix it up and see where we can make subtle modifications to do things faster and better.

Examples - Kill a meeting, come in a bit earlier, delete that weekly report no one reads, meet with your boss for 5 minutes every morning, streamline your email, etc.

GROW

What's one thing can I do to grow me as an individual who can offer more, perform better, and make more-informed positions?

Why GROW? Because we should be always growing. The attitude of 'I know all I need to know" is a 20th Century behavior. You're going to be left behind VERY QUICKLY. What books, resources, classes can I access to grow myself?

Examples - Take a class, read a book, listen to a podcast/audiobook, meet new people, network, join a club, check out Toastmasters or Dale Carnegie, or (hire a coach).

HELP

What's one thing can I do to help my team, the department, or organization? How can I branch out and make a difference?

Why HELP? If you don't step out of your little cubicle hovel and start making a difference in other parts of the company, you'll stay an unknown and ultimately be forgotten, laid off, or fired.

Examples - Join a committee, start an organization, hold a learning lunch, advertise to your team and visit a conference, start a blood drive, etc.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

How To Safely Terminate An Employee.

This is a touchy subject guys . . . so stick with me. To terminate and employee is never easy, but when done incorrectly they can become your worst nightmare.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), I work both sides of the fence. I frequently work with clients who are in a bad situation at work with their boss and they've been 'written up'. I walk them through all the scenarios and help them act accordingly. Most of the time, they keep their position.

I also work with clients who own a company (or are a CEO of an organization) and they need to fire someone for cause.

I always advise my clients to speak with an attorney. Especially if you're about to terminate an employee. Because I've seen it all and it ABSOLUTELY can become your WORST NIGHTMARE.

Here are some areas to think about and work with your attorney:

You need to have a broad understanding of the laws affecting terminations — especially the rights of whistle-blowers, the regulations prohibiting discrimination and retaliation, and the laws the can circumvent at-will employment. This is all critical information and you can't leave it to educated guesses — you need to hire the correct resource who has handled this type of situation.

You frequently have to review the benefits of a sound performance management system. If you don't have one in place — GET ONE. Many services, like ADP, can help you in this respect. You have to proactively provide notice of performance deficiencies, understand how to reverse past inaccurate reviews, and determine when you should skip performance management and move directly to termination. Knowledge and resources can help you step lightly and not make a mistake.

You and your management team need to understand how to lawfully reach a termination decision and how to properly document that decision. You have to be directed and/or learn how conduct a termination meeting, prepare for and effectively deal with a volatile employee, determine when severance is appropriate, and determine when to offer a resignation option. Local, state, and federal laws come into play and you have to have the right people in place to ensure you make the correct decisions.

Finally, how do you handle communication after the person has left? How do you communicate the termination to the rest of the team/company without invading on the employee’s privacy? What is the appropriate response to prospective employer inquiries to avoid triggering claims for defamation?

Candidly, every one of these points is a minefield and you need to step very carefully. Only hiring key resources to help map each step will provide successful business continuity and your ability to sleep at night.

If you're looking for a good resource to help — I can recommend a number of services to have a conversation about termination. Just ask.

Extra Credit - Here's a great article from one of my 'great resources' . . . Isaiah Cooper - ENJOY!

Do You REALLY Know What The Problem Is?

John lost his job a few months ago. And for some reason, he has no idea why he was let go instead of someone else. In addition, his interviews are not panning out and he's getting nervous about his available prospects. The clock is ticking. Mary is having a hard time communicating with her new team. For years, she has been an exemplary manager. But for some reason, her new team is not engaging and sometimes petulant. Projects are floundering.

Karen's business is not 8 years old and has been growing year after year. For some reason, it's been hard for Karen to stay focused on key areas of the business. And it's hurting her bottom line. Her bookkeeper is beginning to notice.

I run into clients like John, Mary, and Karen all the time. And I'll be honest, most of the time coaching them WORKS. But every so often, I get a client where there is a major hidden obstacle which eludes us. My coaching is affected and the client is frustrated.

That's where Rich Gee Diagnostic Insight™ comes in.

Rich Gee Diagnostic Insight™ is one of the quickest ways to gain a clear picture into your current and past obstacles, whether they are technical, social, or emotional in nature. This insight can be used to develop appropriate coaching recommendations to Move You Forward.

We Identify YOUR Needs

The combination of proven assessment techniques and live professional evaluations provide a wealth of knowledge about an individual's style of work. What are their values, what drives them, and what are the real obstacles standing in their way. With this understanding, appropriate coaching modifications can be put into place.

We Clarify Barriers To Entry

We will examine your social and professional functioning in light of your current and future milestones and goals. Using this information, we can develop effective strategies for managing people, stress, understanding relationships, controlling impulses, and getting focused at the job at hand.

We Personalize It For You

Rich Gee Diagnostic Insight™ will be tailored to meet the individual needs of your situation. Rich will use a combination of selected assessments, evaluators, and key resources to help you get a better understanding of what drives you and how we can move you forward ASAP.

LEARN MORE HERE >>

Two Questions That Will Change Your Life In A Powerful Way.

DO THIS TODAY. I did it and found it COMPLETELY EXHILARATING & POWERFUL. Find a quiet place, no distractions (see below). Turn off your phone and email, close your door — this time is for you. Use your laptop to write down the answers to these two questions:

1. EXPLAIN YOUR CURRENT SITUATION TO YOUR 'FIVE-YEARS-AGO' SELF.

Example: Tom — you're going to be fired from your job, you're going to feel like 'fired', but they're really letting you go. But don't worry - you're going to take six months off reeling from that experience, but you will get your head on straight. One day, you will meet a man named Steve who will open your eyes to the new areas of your profession (that you never knew existed) and will give you a job.

Initially, you will be scared (it's a big step for you), but in the end, it's a defining step. Your kids will be growing and you'll have more time to see them change from day-to-day. You will think you are a failure to your wife, but one night, you will break down crying to her and she'll tell you your are the strongest man she knows. And that will fuel you for the next five years. Go get 'em!

2. EXPLAIN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS TO YOUR 'CURRENT' SELF.

Example: Tom — You're frustrated right now - too many things hitting you from all angles. You need to take one day, a single day, and write down all of the small and large tasks you need to do to be successful. And start getting them done. In a messy pile, they are all sitting there taunting you - but broken up, in easy to complete tasks - they are simple to solve.

Here's an eye-opener - You are going to change the way your industry makes money. You know in your heart it needs to change - be more nimble and agile to absorb the changes in the marketplace - but no one is doing anything about it. This is your time to show everyone what you've got. You are going to change the world buddy. By the way, you make it a point of coming home on-time at least three days a week to spend time with your kids - play ball or help them with their homework.

Also, you make it a point to take your wife out EVERY Friday for a date-night, with just the two of you. Finally, bring some flowers home for her just for being her - she is the most important person who can help you be your best right now.

Your answers don't have to be long — think free-form writing - don't worry about mistakes or grammar - no one is going to see this except for you.

I think you'll find it will clear your obstacles, get you motivated, and let you see exactly where you've been, where you are, and where you really need to go next.

IF YOU NEED HELP WITH THIS, I WANT YOU TO LET ME KNOW - I can help.

About distractions:

Distractions take your focus away from the important tasks in your life. I've found clients who focus their attention on the matter at hand accelerate faster with their goals. Everyone can take a small break once in awhile from work to focus on their career. EVERYONE.

In fact, psychotherapists say distractive behavior is a form of self-sabotage — where people are temporarily distracted with mundane, less-important tasks rather than focusing on their important, long-term success.

8 Things I Wish I Learned In College.

I loved going to college. I learned a lot and grew a lot while I was there. In addition to all the facts and figures, I also learned many intangibles - how to communicate with very intelligent people, how to do real research, and how to solve difficult problems (to name just a few). But there were a few things I either missed or was never exposed to in my four years. During my 20 years in corporate management and 10+ years coaching, I found many different themes bubbling up to the surface time and time again. When it finally cut through my thick irish/polish/russian head, I made it a point of learning the best way to do them and then built each one in as a daily behavior. Here are my Top 8 (not 10, 16 or 20 - the best 8):

1. Change your game often.

Most people get stuck in rut — doing the same things day in and day out. Successful people in business are constantly assessing and changing what they do.

Read this: How To Successfully Change Your Game

2. Staying focused: the Pareto Rule.

If you are not reviewing your daily/weekly/monthly activities, you'll never get a good handle on streamlining your tasks and focusing on the important stuff.

Read this: How To Be Successful Every Day Extra credit: How To Be More Effective On The Job

3. Effective time management.

If you don't have control of your time, the days will fly by and you'll be wondering where all the time went. Just a few minutes a day will change the way you work.

Read this: Control Your Time By Designing Your Schedule

4. Communicating with difficult people.

It's a fact of life at work — you are going to run into people who are difficult to work with. They can be disagreeable, they can cause problems, or they can be your arch-enemy.

Read this: How To Deal With Very Difficult People

5. Recharging my enthusiasm daily.

No one likes to spend time with a negative person. Let's be honest, we don't like to spend time with neutral personalities either. Who do we love to spend time with? People who energize us — people with enthusiasm.

Read this: If You Aren’t Fired With Enthusiasm, You’ll Be Fired With Enthusiasm

6. Being proactive (not the face-cleanser).

Don't procrastinate and take charge of your career — what needs to be done and what can you do right now to ensure everything flows smoothly?

Read this: No Time? Focus on the Important

7. Keep people happy — under-promise & over-deliver.

This is a really hard one to overcome because we are trained at an early age to please other people for acceptance.

Read this: How To Make Your Boss & Clients Happy All The Time

8: Don't be so hard on yourself.

We drive ourselves hard and frequently pick on our actions - "That was stupid!" or "I can believe I did that!". As I tell my clients, there's a level where internal 'pushing' is good and then there's a level where it becomes a negative force in your life. If you make a mistake the first time, treat it as a learning experience. Hold off the self-recrimination for the 2nd or 3rd time you do it.

Read this: How To Never Make A Mistake At Work

Top Psychological Tricks For The Office.

Sometimes you need an advantage at work.

Not only to get ahead and get that promotion — sometimes to just survive. Many close colleagues and new clients have been written up and fired (for nothing) instead of being laid off (the rational option). Companies are getting more cutthroat, managers are getting more paranoid, and it's everyone for themselves people.

Here are some simple psychological tricks to stay on top of your game at work:

Sit next to your enemies.

If you're in a group meeting and you suspect that someone in there might come after you about something or if you have a job with a huge target painted on your back, sit right next to them.

They were hoping that the group would provide some sort of herd defense, but if you're right next to them it can't be anything other than personal. This tends to make them back off, or at least substantially temper what they say.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

Shut up after the sale.

In sales, once you make the sales pitch, don't say anything else.

A client used to work at a gym trying to sell memberships. She told me that once she got all the small talk out of the way and presented the prices, that the first person to talk will lose. At first it didn't seem like a big deal to her, but it actually worked. Often there were long periods of awkward silence as the customer tried to come up with some excuse, but usually they bought. It was quite impressive actually. 

Corollary: Once someone has agreed to help you, stop talking. The more you say, the more opportunities they have to change their minds.

Notice people's eye color.

When you first meet people try to notice their eye color while also smiling at them. It might be because you look for a second or two longer, but all I can tell you is that people really respond to it.

Nervous? Chew gum.

Chew gum when you're approaching a situation that would make you nervous like public speaking or bungee jumping. Apparently, if we are 'eating' something, our brains trip and reasons "I would not be eating if I were danger . . . so I'm not in danger". Has helped many clients calm down before anxiety-ridden activities.

Instead of asking, make an offer.

If you really want something from someone, frame it as an offer rather than a request.

When Teddy Roosevelt was running for president, his campaign printed out 3 million leaflets with a picture of Teddy and a copy of a campaign speech. The campaign then realized that they didn't have the rights to the photo of Teddy. Instead of explaining the situation to the photographer, which would have given them leverage to ask for a lot of money, the campaign made an offer — they would use the picture, giving the photographer lots of publicity if the studio paid them $250. The studio paid the money.

Avoid negative talk.

In real life terms - avoid negative words when pitching something unfavorable to an audience that you want to receive it well. If you can do it in writing, all the better, because you get to pick out your words carefully. Also focus the manner by which you intend to fix things, rather than the problems.

A client of mine worked with mentally disabled children, and he found it highly beneficial to describe their capacities in such a way that he indirectly described their limitations, as opposed to the reverse.

'Johnny can't even speak in phrases, and only turns his head to you when you say his name, but doesn't make eye contact. He won't sit in a chair for more than a minute unless you repeatedly tell him to.'

NOPE. TRY AGAIN. 'Johnny uses words to communicate, so the next step is to strengthen his skills up to the level of 2-word phrases. He responds to his name by turning, so we're going to work on his ability to maintain eye contact. Johnny is able to remain seated for longer than one minute if given repeated prompting.'

Which would you rather hear about your kid? This also applies to other types of work - use it to present anything negative. Works magnificently.

People will remember not what you said but how you made them feel.

So go out of your way to make them feel good about themselves, even proud. Most of the time we berate and kill our confidence internally, so the more that you make people feel better, the more they will like you. And do things for you.

Also most people like talking about themselves so ask lots of questions about them.

Get them talking on a general topic (movies, music) ask them what movies/music/whatever it was they like, engage them on that, go from there; offer bits of information about yourself then bounce it back to them. Your goal is to make them feel good, via engaging them on their most cherished subjects. i.e. themselves, and the things they like the most.

This technique is really good for various situations that might otherwise be awkward. For example when you are trying to draw out a reserved person, show an interest in them (a genuine one hopefully) and go from there.

Someone you want to know better in that special 'relationship' way? Asking about them is often a great approach.

Trying to get someone to like you in a situation with a power differential (i.e. in a workplace setting or a job interview) is to get 'em talking, ideally about something work-related that makes them feel competent and informed. They will remember how good they felt in your presence and that will color their perception of you.

You're not aiming to be the audience to a monologue, you're trying to find ways in which you can connect with that other person. The ultimate goal is to connect.

Stay calm in the face of danger.

When people are angry at me — if I stay calm — it'll get them even angrier, and be ashamed about it after. It's called an "adrenaline dump," and it's easily one of my favorite tactics. It's basically conversational judo.

There's an evolutionary precedent for it, too — adrenaline is manufactured in response to a threat, and two people yelling at each other both register as a 'threat' to their opponent, creating an adrenaline arms race.

But if that steady increase is interrupted, the whole build-up is swept out from under a person. The shame sets in almost automatically, an innate response to assessing someone else as a bigger threat than they actually are.

I practiced it about a year ago. I was having a barbecue with some friends and colleagues near one of our offices. Some drunken jerk ambles over from a nearby pub and demands a hotdog, getting more and more belligerent when he's repeatedly denied (at first, we said we'd hook him up if we had any left over and that the ones on the grill were already spoken for, but he didn't much care for that).

I walked over to him -- I was easily half his size — looked the red-face, raging jerk square in the eyes and calmly said, "Hey man, I just wanna know something. What's your name?"

The stranger gave his name, visibly taken aback but still extremely pissed. "Where're you from? What's your deal?"

The stranger, now equal parts angry and confused, says he's a local contractor and he lives a few blocks away.

I nodded, and with a confident, measured glare that could chill fresh coffee said, "One last question: Why are you being such a jerk to all my friends at our barbecue?"

You could pinpoint the exact nanosecond the guy's rage simmered out and the embarrassment barreled in. He looked around sheepishly, and without a word, turns around and ambles back into the alleyway, disappearing into the pub's back door without a second glance.

Self Image Is Everything. 

People have a certain image of themselves and will fight tooth and nail to cling to it. Use this information wisely.

I do this all the time. You can avoid insulting someone by not saying anything that shows you perceive them differently than what they're trying to present. Or you can be a little more manipulative and make people like you by casually stroking their ego.

This could go wrong, especially if you have bad intentions. Not all manipulation is bad if done on a small scale with innocent intentions.

Never Ever Gossip. 

Promise yourself you'll never gossip about other people. I mean it. Even when the people around you are gossiping, even when you agree with the stuff they're saying. You don't have to make a big deal of it, just don't partake in it.

Once people get the idea you're not into gossiping about other people behind their backs, the amount of gossip they talk around you will decrease. It isn't fun to gossip unless everybody's gossiping. Your decision to stop the gossip and their eventual reaction to you not reciprocating will positively affect both of you, as well as your relationship.

I made this change in how I interact with people and the amount and quality of my friendships have grown exponentially. People will trust you more if they haven't listened to you gossip about other people. You will be seen as more a more positive person than other friends who do talk shit. The gap gossiping used to fill will be replaced with way more interesting and/or intimate conversation too.

Are You The Center Of Your Group?

When a group of people laugh, people will instinctively look at the person they feel closest to in that group.

Want More Romance?

Look up the false attribution of arousal. Basically, if you want to make someone like you, get their heart rate going.

Take them on a date to see a scary movie and then go out for coffee. This puts their body in an aroused (increased blood flow, not sexual) state. Their mind then falsely attributes that physiological effect to being with you making them think they like you! (hopefully they actually do, but this gets the ball rolling)

Ladies — Want To Be More Attractive?

Wear red. For women, the color red makes them exponentially more attractive. Research has shown that men will go to great lengths to do things for a woman in red that they would not do otherwise like give her money or even carry her across the street.

Let's Throw In Some Interview Skills Too.

Body mirroring. So something that we do that we don't realize is mirror the body language of people that we like, like our friends. If they sit crossed legged, we will. If they touch their face, we will. This goes back to the subconscious will to be more like the people that we respect.

You can kind of "force" this. Put a conscious effort into mirroring the body posture of your interviewer, bun don't be obvious about it. Be nice and subtle. This will kin of trick their mind into thinking that they like you. After all, you are doing similar things with your body, why not!

Get them to talk about themselves. People are selfish and they love talking about what they do. Ask your interviewer as many questions about what they do for work and really listen. They will walk away from the interview in a good mood because they got to talk about themselves and they will then think that the interview went well.

If you are able, schedule the interview as early as possible. There's a ton of cognitive psychology research about the primacy effect which essentially states that items are more memorable if they are presented earlier. So if you're going into a grad school interview where the person will literally be interviewing all day, you will be more memorable if you go first. If you are unable to be first go last. Similarly, there is research about the recency effect, which states that items are also memorable if they are presented last, though the primacy effect is more reliable. Just try not to be stuck in the middle.

Find Yourself In A Debate?

Don't give your stance first. Give your argument. In some self interest research that I did myself in my undergrad, I found that your persuasiveness is fragile and dependent on your social identity. For example, if you came out and say "I'm an atheist and this is what I believe," you are already seen as less persuasive and more biased because people already know why you are arguing what you're arguing; you have something to gain by convincing people. You're an atheist.

What you should do is not say you're an atheist at all. Say "this is what I believe..." Because people don't have an assumption already in their mind, they will be more likely to view you as less biased. Bonus points if you're on the opposite side. For example, a conservative arguing for gay rights is going to be viewed as very persuasive and not biased at all because they literally have nothing to gain from holding that viewpoint while a homosexual arguing for gay rights does have something to gain and thus is seen as more biased.

Finally, Some Cool Final 'Tricks'.

Reminding people of their death will make them more likely to follow a charismatic leader.

You have a much higher chance of success in a relationship if your parents and your friends like your romantic partner.

The placebo effect is actually more powerful than some medications. One study found that cancer patients given a placebo to treat their cancer had a 12% increase in remission rates.

Good Service vs. Bad Service - A Parable.

Once upon a time there was a coach. He woke up every morning at 4:30 AM and worked until 5 PM. Some days he worked at his office in Stamford — some days he worked at his home office.

Some days he coached all day long with wonderful clients — some days he was on the road connecting with old and new friends to build his business.

During these wonderful times, this coach would make a small detour and pick up a few foodstuffs for his family (it's the least he could to to help his ravishingly beautiful and infinitely smarter wife).

This day, he stopped off at a supermarket, let's call it Supermarket 'A'. Everywhere Rich went in Supermarket 'A', if he saw an employee stocking the shelf or walking by, they would greet him with a smile and ask if they could help him find something. Many times, they would comment on an item he was purchasing and offer positive comments on how to use it. The store was clean, well-stocked, and had a homey, comfortable feel about it.

Supermarket 'A' provides a station where one could sample new foods and most of the time, the offerings were incredible where the coach would just have to buy the spotlighted item. And today he would do just that.

The best part of this coach's visit was checking out. First, there were three registers open and one of the employees immediately caught the coach's eye and asked, "Ready to check out? I can take you over here!". As they unloaded his cart and scanned each item, they engaged the coach in conversation about some of the items he was purchasing and how his day was going so far. They profusely thanked the coach for bagging and encouraged him to fill out a ticket (a drawing for a free gift certificate) because the coach brought and used his own bags.

With a hearty good-day from the Supermarket 'A's employee at the register, the coach had an extra spring in his step rolling his carriage to the car.

The next day, the coach had to stop at another supermarket, let's call it Supermarket 'B'. Everywhere Rich went in Supermarket 'B', his aisle was blocked by multiple large, wheeled pallets full of boxes. The employees unpacking the boxes all had a unique air that the coach would describe as 'depressed and angry'. They rarely moved out of the way, grunted when they had to and filled in each aisle making travel a torture course for every shopper. Each aisle was dirty and the lighting resembled the inside of a refrigerator — blinding, florescent white.

When the coach reached the pharmacy to pick up a prescription (no worries - it's an allergy) — he had to wait in line (5 customers deep) and watch the pharmacist work behind the counter, answer phone calls, and ultimately step out and assist the next customer. Where it should have taken the coach 2-3 minutes to complete a simple pick-up transaction, he was in line for approximately 12 minutes. That's a long time to spend standing in line. Honest.

Finally, when it was time to check out, there were only three (out of 15 registers) open and all three had lines 5-6 people deep. The coach chose the self-checkout register, scanned his frequent shopper card to get normal pricing on his items, and began to unload, self-scan, and pack up his items in his bag. Guess what? Three items in, the scanner encountered a problem and required a manager to login, reset, and allow the coach to purchase his five items. Unfortunately, there was no manager to be found, so the coach had to wait until one appeared from their break.

With a hearty FU from Supermarket 'B', the coach had an extra slog in his step and rising, burning anger in his neck rolling his carriage to the car.

All kidding aside, what's going on here?

1. One establishment gets it, one doesn't (or just doesn't care).
2. One has engaged and enthusiastic employees, and one doesn't.
3. One has the layout and logistics of selling food nailed, and one doesn't.
4. One had a comfortable, homey feel and the other a dirty, clinical atmosphere.
5. One had reasonable pricing and great quality, the other high-prices and questionable quality.

Now you might ask, why does the coach shop at Supermarket 'B' and not all the time at Supermarket 'A'? Proximity and convenience. 'A' is far away and takes 30 minutes of drive time. 'B' is five minutes away.

There are a number of lessons to learn here today:

1. Availability and convenience do play a major part in consumer's choice. Time sometimes trumps quality, service, and price.
2. The way you treat your customers, with even the simplest of transactions, impacts their shopping experience. Bad employees do hurt you.
3. Even though people want choice and change, they also like consistency. They don't want to be inundated with 100's of items. Make it easy and simple.
4. Making customers wait should be avoided, not embraced by your organization. Even DisneyWorld makes waiting fun.

What's the moral of the story? The coach should (and will) plan out his shopping each week and endeavor to hit Supermarket 'A' on a regular basis.

How to Be an Effective CEO.

It's quite simple - unfortunately, there are many critics, books, and know-it-all's out there trying to 'complexify' (my word) the basic responsibilities of a CEO or C-Level executive. It really comes down to three skills:

1. Motivate Your Team This is the most important skill - everyone goes to work, but it's how you manage their expectations, keep them focused, and acknowledge them for their efforts that win the game. This is not a one management-style fits all - you need to directly motivate each direct report on your team AND teach them how they can directly motivate the direct reports on their team. By doing this, motivation will be viral and very successful.

Find out what energizes them - HOW? - Ask them. What do they like to work on? What areas challenge them? What areas do they hate working on? - Help them streamline, delegate, and retire those areas.

2. Communicate & Inform This is the day-to-day stuff and candidly, most executives fail at this skill. Many either forget to communicate/inform or they actually manage by not delivering information - it sounds a little comical - but it's true. It's call management by holding back information.

All you have to do is communicate clearly and ensure that the person or team that you're communicating to not only listens, but they understand your vision, goals, direction or tactics. In addition, you need to inform on a regular basis - keep the team up to date on what's happening and tell them immediately, not after the fact.

More information and increased communication delivers a happy and healthy team.

3. Help Them Get Rid Of Obstacles Finally, your job is to help your people recognize, understand, and bypass regular obstacles that get in their way.

But here's the kicker - you don't do it for them - have them come with possible solutions to the problem, you both discuss it, and they walk away with a strategy to solve their own problems. That is the only way they grow as an executive and you get back much needed time to focus on more important matters.

That's it. If you keep to these three rules, you will find that your life as a C-Level executive will be ever so much easier and more fulfilling. Try it!