Control Your Time By Designing Your Schedule.

I thought my schedule was packed when I worked in corporate! Filling in my days with status meetings, presentations, sales calls, and updates all mixed together to produce a week chock full of weaving, diving, and running. Now that I've been running my company for the past ten years, I've found it even harder to keep my schedule clear and organized to ensure I get everything done AND allow myself the time to work on my business.

Do you feel this way? 

Well, I developed a cool way to look at each day in my schedule and ensure I not only get my client sessions scheduled, but I also leave time for basic tasks and strategic projects.

Take a look at my typical schedule (click on image to expand):

The key is CONSISTENCY and FLEXIBILITY. I try to remain consistent from week to week to ensure I can work in my business and on my business.

But I also need to be realistic. Emergencies crop up. Clients move or cancel appointments. New prospects creep into my calendar. Speaking engagements usually fall right in the middle of my schedule (but those are planned well in advance). So I also have to be flexible and have the ability to move things around when needed.

Here's the surprise — I don't have to do it as much as you'd expect. Week after week, I can pretty well stick to my schedule and ensure I am growing my business while keeping the engine running smoothly.

Let me break down some of the elements:

4:30 AM to 10 PM - Yep, that's my day. I know - 4:30 AM is a bear. But I find it's my key time to get things done - where I am energized and focused. My best brainstorming occurs at this time. So I do my best thinking in the shower (a sort of 21st century meditation) and then I'm off to write my blog and prepare for my clients.

7:00 AM to 5 PM - Blocking out all of my clients. I was taught this many years ago by my mentor coach, Ken Abrams. If you fit all of your clients into pre-specified groupings, it's easier to manage your schedule without all of the 30 and 60 minute gaps.

Email - I check my email at 9 AM, Lunchtime, and at 7 PM. It doesn't rule my life. If there is a client emergency, call me. Candidly, I read my email every few hours, that's fine to catch up on what's important.

Lunch, Dinner with Family, Reading - This is my time - these hours are to allow me to decompress and spend special time with my family and also to grow my knowledge-base.

Thursday - This is my Networking/Connecting day. I am out and about meeting people, learning about new businesses, and going to meetings. I also meet with two groups - my sales force (about 35 people) who are actively out promoting my product to key prospects. The second group is a high-potential business owner team where we exchange leads and discuss many business issues and problems. I also fit in meetings with my agent, pr guy, marketing team, accountant, attorney and any other colleagues who make my business HUM.

Friday - This is my 'clean-up day'. I spend the time with any errant clients and also do any marketing/prospecting, presentation building and my financial planning. I spend most of my day connected at the hip with my assistant ensuring I clean up any mess from the previous four days and preparing me for the next week.

I hope my schedule gives you a few ideas on how to better structure your schedule.

What do you do to make your professional (and personal) life more bearable?

Who Moved Your Acorn?

"The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn." — Ralph Waldo Emerson What's your acorn? 

Okay, okay - I know. We all work hard. And long. And most of the time, it's boring.

But when we got out of school, we all had a dream. A dream of being someone important, making great strides, doing great things. Making a difference.

Unfortunately, life intervened. Work snuck it's ugly head in. Then family. Friends. Hobbies. Activities. TV. You get my drift.

Today, I have one question to ask you: What's YOUR acorn? What's your dream?

How do you want to make a difference in the world? Who do you want to help? My charge today is simple — how can you integrate your acorn into your daily activities?

Don't think big picture — start small — take baby steps. What can you do today to ultimately make a difference in the world? Something that will change one person's life . . . ten lives . . . a hundred lives . . . millions?

If you think I'm crazy, one person already did — check this out.

If he can do it . . . so can you.

What's your acorn? I'd love to hear.

Get RUNNING.

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up.It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or a gazelle. When the sun comes up, you better be RUNNING.

- African Proverb

If You're Not Moving Up, You're Going Down.

FACT: Successful leaders require and access tools to help them be accountable and objective while stretching them to reach the next level of performance (Harvard Business Review). FACT: The marketplace is changing at a constantly accelerating rate. The challenge to learn the art and science of individual change is now paramount to every executive and business-owner's success (American Management Association).

FACT: 43% of CEOs and 71% of the senior executive team reported that they had worked with a coach. Over 48% of companies now use coaching to develop the leadership capabilities of high-potential performers. The typical coaching assignment runs from 7 to 12 months (Fast Company).

Okay — I'm promoting a little. But it's true. 

Every client I work with has seen a dramatic change in their career. They've made more money, moved up in the organization, amassed a larger client base . . .

And they're happier. Challenged. Having fun.

The ironic fact is most people are afraid of working with a coach. Why?

They're afraid of "opening up" about their true feelings and dreams.

I know it's hard — but it's just like jumping into a pool for the first time — the first few seconds the water is cold, but you acclimate very quickly. Every one of my coaching sessions start out slow initially, but by the end, the client has so much energy, they are bursting at the seams to execute.

They're afraid of spending a lot of time and money on another pipe-dream.

There are so many options out there — some are good and most are bad. I can't tell you how many business books just plain stink. Conferences and seminars which rehash the same tired and hackneyed syllogisms. Speakers who give a small iota of what they really know and suck you into a quagmire of fees, charges and upsells.

I totally understand your ambivalence. But coaching is an incremental process — small changes, small steps, and big gains happen all the time. You'll know within the first or second session if coaching is for you.

They're afraid of actually being successful and their entire life changes.

This is the big one. See my recent post on 'fear of success' — most people are afraid of actually reaching their goals and dreams because it will radically change their life. And this is scary.

The best part about coaching: The first session is FREE. Most coaches offer a complimentary session to introduce coaching. Coaching is a fit — it has to 'fit' for you AND the coach has to see a good 'fit' for their business.

Try it — you might like it.

Pushing Yourself Farther Than Ever Before.

Received this story from one of my oldest and favorite clients, Ward Smith, a senior executive with Stanley/Black & Decker. It's all about taking a dare (we've all been there) and ultimately training and competing in a Triathlon. It all started last year on a dare by my good friend and college buddy Tim Kowalewski.

Since last fall, I have been anticipating a race on Sunday June 12 in Cambridge, MD. I guess you could call me a “Tri Newbie”. It is a sport that has fascinated me for several years. As most of you know, I played competitive sports at an early age, all the way through college. The constant strive to get stronger, faster, and return the next season better than the last has been with me for most of my life. Then as all of us know, a new pattern of life begins after school.

Triathlon took a major hold on my life when my college roommate and close friend Curt Straub qualified for the 2009 Ironman World Championships in Kona, an unbelievable feat given his short time in the sport. I was determined to see what drove my friend to the insane level of training. Knowing that a full Ironman was not in the cards, Eagleman 70.3 offered a wonderful challenge in a race that attracts age groupers from all of the country.

Tim and I drove down to the Shore on Saturday morning after loading our equipment up. We traded our thoughts of what each of us was expecting for the race, neither one of us had competed in a race of this distance, but we had spent countless hours on the internet reading all kinds of blogs and websites about race strategy and what to anticipate.

Tri Columbia puts on a first class event. There was a pro open forum talk in the afternoon – defending Women’s 2010 Kona Champion Miranda Carfrae and several other top pros were competing in the race – which gave us regular folks a great insight into the world of professional triathlon. It’s always pretty cool to see people in person who you have read about and seen in magazines. It’s a very unique environment – everyone’s nervous for the early morning start, but there is also an understanding between everyone that the real battle tomorrow lays within the individual and the race course.

 

Race packets picked up, final check and adjustments on the bikes, and it was off to the transition area to rack our bikes. I knew that the race was big, but it really hit me when you saw how many rows of bikes there were, it went on and on. Off to the Farm to get some dinner and hopefully some sleep.

3:30am came early, needless to say I was pretty pumped to see what the day was going to bring. I had been training for this day for 6 months, now it was here.

The energy and atmosphere in the transition area was your typical race morning feel – experienced racers going through their checklists, first timers trying to remember where their bike was located, guys with nervous chatter, but mostly competitors anticipating a long rewarding day ahead. Once my bag was unpacked, I started to go through all of my race needs and making sure that my equipment was in the right place. I made sure to take the time and get my running shoes on and get a quick 5 min. run, trying to calm the prerace jitters.

It was now ready to get ready for the swim. I made a feeble attempt to put on sun tan lotion, as some of you saw after the race. Somehow, I missed entire areas on my arms that have resulted in the most unique sun burn I have ever gotten, lesson for my next race. Any way, it was onto the water for a practice warm up swim. The water was extremely warm, over 80 degrees this year, no wetsuits for this race. Usually, the swim warm up area is located in the swim exit, a nice way to get familiar of the exit area and the route to the transition area. One very unique aspect of the Eagleman swim is the fact that the end of the swim is a very shallow area, as I would learn later, very tempting to stand up and finish the last 25 yds standing up.

Now came the next challenge – finding my wife, Karen, in the mayhem of all of the friends and family that had come out to support their racer. Tim and I had been bouncing back and forth taking care of our own pre-race rituals; we linked up and made our way to the swim start area. Luckily, I ran into my beautiful and supportive wife, along with close friends Jim and Jess Lears. It meant a lot that Jim and Jess made the effort to come out so early, Jess is 8 months pregnant! They had signs and smiles, exactly what I needed to remind myself to relax and enjoy the present.

While catching up with Jim about the pre-race craziness, guess who we run into – a high school buddy, Jason Quenzer. It was great to catch up with him briefly about what he has been up to these days, his family, and his anticipation of the day. It is always amazing that at events like these, you run into people who you haven’t seen in a long time.

Swim start was at 7:34 am, a kiss goodbye to my wife, and it was time to enter the water. My goal for this day was stay in the present, focus only in my immediate sphere, it’s really easy to get overwhelmed with the totality of the day and of each discipline. It’s a long day, but you have to break it down into the areas that are immediately in front of you, otherwise, you will get overwhelmed.

Open water swimming is a very different animal than training in a pool for 6 months. The black lines on the bottom of the pool to help you go straight are gone, you can’t see 2 inches in front of you in the Choptank River.  We trended for only a couple of minutes, but it felt like an eternity. The horn sounded, and off we go. The first leg of a 70.3 is a 1.2 mile swim. The course for Eagleman is a rectangular course, there was minimal chop and very little current.

It took me all the way to the first turn buoy to get my breathing under control. I am not a swimmer, but I kept trying to focus on the present, stay within my sphere. My buddy Curt always reminded me in our phone calls and emails leading up to the race – “just finish the swim.” I figured it was pretty good advice from a guy who competed at Kona, where their swim leg is 2.4 miles.

As I neared the swim exit, I could see other racers starting to stand up – “YES, the swim is almost done.” With only 15 or 20 yards to the shore, I just stood up and walk in the rest of the way, it gave me time to catch my breath. Running up the shore, I saw the signs and heard the familiar voices – Karen, Jess, and Jim cheering and waving the signs. I did my best to acknowledge them, but I tend to more a bit serious when I am competing, but I did crack a smile, and hopefully a little wave – I was already on autopilot…

The Bike course at Eagleman is known to share many characteristics of the Hawaii race, a reason that so many pros come to Cambridge to race. It’s flat, hot, and windy. 56 miles is a long way, but I kept reminding myself the focus of the day – stay in the present, focus on my immediate sphere. A big race like Eagleman attracts talented age-groupers from around the country, and these guys and gals can fly on the bike. I stopped counting on how many people passed me at around 40. It reminded me how much your ego can get you into some trouble, the competitor inside what’s to react and fight. One thing I learned on the bike course – my bladder somehow shrunk to the size of a 10 year old. I made 2 pit stops, which obviously slowed me down, but I knew I need to keep up with my hydration to get ready for the run. The swim and the bike are only preparation for the beginning of the race – the 13.1 run.

My goal for the run – focus on getting to each aid station. The run is a straight out and back with aid stations every mile. It was time to bring you’re A game. Out and back runs are a different breed. For those who are starting the run, you see the guys and gals who are finishing or about to finish. They are more experienced, in better condition, and an immediate reminder of what’s ahead. Nutrition was going to be a big factor in how well the race was going to go. I had maintained my plan on the bike, and now, I was going to keep it simple of the run – Ice, water, and Pepsi. I knew that anything else in stomach could cause problems.

For the first 3 to 4 miles, I did the same thing – ice down the shirt, 2 cups of water, and a half a cup of Pepsi. I was surprised, I was actually feeling pretty good. My pace was slow, about 8:20 to 8:30 pace.

At about mile 5, I saw my good friend Tim up ahead. He is a very strong runner, and I knew the moment I saw him, he was fighting hard. He had been dealing with a hip discomfort and mild foot pain heading into the race. We ran together for several minutes, I asked him how the hip was doing. I could tell he was digging deep. We parted ways, and it was onto the turn around.

There was the infamous snowball stand at the turnaround, very much needed since the entire run is in the open, not shade. The run was half over. More ice, more water and pepsi… It was time to pick the pace up and finish strong. I was determined to have my best run. I have run the Baltimore Half the past 2 years, and I always had a bit of a struggle towards the end of the race.

Mile 10 – the race focus intensified, I was not going to let anyone run past me. It was an emotional journey those last 3 miles. I had set a goal of 5 hrs 30 mins to finish, with around 2 miles to go, my watch read 5:20, it wasn’t going to happen, but that was okay, it was probably more important to just set the goal.

The last 500 ft is quite amazing, lines of people cheering everyone on, there is a slight curve, so the runners never really see the finish line until the very end. I ran as hard I could, voices screaming and cheering, crossing the finish line at 5:35.

I found Karen, my Mom and Bill. It was great to see them and celebrate. It takes some time to gather yourself after such a long race, slow down the heart, cool the body, making sure you don’t cramp up.

Final Results: Swim – 45:24 T1 – 2:18 Bike – 2:55 T2 – 3:29 Run – 1:48

Total – 5:35

Onto the next race and adventure . . .

What dares have you undertaken which delivered this kind of satisfaction?

How To Deal With Very Difficult People.

It's hard when you're working with a tough audience. Especially someone who contradicts and challenges every point you make. 

I've come to the conclusion one has to first understand where these naysayers are coming from and what their ultimate goal is to be able to debate them successfully. I've come up with four positions your opponent might be taking:

1. They Disagree With You

This is probably the easiest one to tackle because it's based upon an honest position where your opponent is factually disagreeing with you. They still have an open mind, but for the immediate future, they are factually on the opposite side of the track.

Solution: These are rational people, so use facts, figures, and reasoned logic to bring them over to the dark side. Acknowledge their position, but show them your way will ultimately be a better direction.

2. It's Their Personality

We've all met them — the naysayers of our lives. Those people who take pleasure in contradicting an established belief, position, or idea because it's hard-wired into their personality.

It's a mix of cynicism and pessimism which ultimately drives the contrarian engine in this person. I've always felt people do this to be recognized and appreciated for their intellect — but ultimately, they just want to be acknowledged and heard.

Solution: Listen to them. Ask lots of questions and delve deeply into their position. Acknowledge some of the merits of their belief structure.

Then begin to get them to understand some of the tenets of your position by aligning the more minor tenets of their areas. "I see where you're going — we want to save money. If we take this idea, it looks like we are going to save a huge chunk of cash." Also don't use the words "My idea" — use "This idea" or "Our option".

3. They're Afraid Of Change

Oh my — they're all over the place lately — people afraid of change who will do almost anything to keep the status quo, even at the detriment of their institutions.

The main driver in these people is FEAR. Even if you present a clear example of a successful position, they will endeavor to undermine it and counter with the status quo — "things are fine if we just leave it alone".

When you lift the covers, you'll see they're temporarily irrational and will be impossible to move unless you show them a 'safer' position.

Solution: They need to feel safe, so show them their current 'safe' position is actually an unsafe decision long-term. Use facts to bring them along slowly and get them to understand the ramifications of their current 'fear-based' behavior.

If you get them to incrementally understand their unfounded fears by seeing your clear direction for change, they will ultimately (and usually quickly) side with you. If you are working against a group, pick off some of the weaker adherents and use them to convince some of the more immovable opponents.

4. They Want Power

These are the toughest people to turn. Why? They really don't care about the facts at hand or where it will ultimately go — they only care about their current power structure and how to maintain and grow it.

It's the typical situation in politics. Don't try to convince someone with facts, figures, and reasoned ideas — follow the power and money. Once you understand what's under the kimono, you'll easily see where they are coming from and how you can speak their language.

Solution: Be very, very careful here. Since this is the toughest nut to crack, these people will lash out quickly and go for the jugular if you are in any way affecting the status of their power structure with your ideas.

You need to move slowly and build a power base behind you. Appeal to their nobler motives first (give them that chance) and then slowly chip away at their resolve. If you can, show them your idea will ultimately give them even more power. But wear your seatbelt, you will be on a very bumpy ride.

Hate Your Job? Here's How To Love It.

"Love is the greatest refreshment in life." - Pablo Picasso How much love is there in your life?

You probably love your parents, your spouse/partner, your kids . . . but what else do you love?

Do you love any of your friends? Colleagues? Nature? A beautiful day? A good book?

How about work? Do you love it? Hate it? If work was a long spectrum from Totally Love to Uncomfortably Despise, where would you fall on that line? 

During one of my free Inside Track Open Mike Sessions, we discussed this typical symptom of business. How can I move up that spectrum and better love what I do. Because if you love what you do:

• You do it better.
• You enjoy doing it.
• You are fulfilled doing it. Challenged.
• You learn.
• You grow.
• You have FUN.

So how do you love what you do? We first need to investigate why you don't love what you do. It's usually because of these four reasons:

1. It's boring. Or 'SOS' - you do the 'Same Old Stuff' every day.
2. You hate the business, the people, the commute, or the location.
3. You question or someone else questions your performance. You feel you are not fully qualified or someone is a severe critic.
4. It's not what you really want to do.

During our sold-out open mike session, I mentioned there are only three choices when it comes to work:

1. Endure. Stay and do nothing.
2. Change. Stay and change the game.
3. Leave. Get the heck out of there.

That's it. If you want to LOVE what you do, you can't choose #1 (endure). So if we take our model and apply it to our four reasons:

1. It's boring.

Change. Ask for more demanding/challenging work from your boss. Think of new ways to deliver to clients. Be inventive, take chances, use your imagination. Staying safe and fearful will only deliver more boredom. Trust me.

2. You hate the business, the people, the commute, or the location.

Leave. Changing any of these items is difficult (unless you can relocate or telecommute). But I've found, the best way to deal, is to make a wholesale change to a different environment. But be careful, you might just jump from the fat into the fire.

3. You question or someone else questions your performance.

You — Stop doing that. When we question our performance, it's usually based on a fear of forgetting something critical. Most of the time, we are correct and don't have to worry. Start using a checklist or redundancies to solve this problem.

Them — Ask them for constructive feedback rather than being just a critic. Ask them to help you do your job better. Ask others (who you feel are top performers) for insight and advice.

Otherwise . . . Leave.

4. It's not what you really want to do.

Analyze your options and environment and make a change to another position. Or leave and do what you really want to do.

A lot of these solutions might sound simple or trite. But it's the truth. You might be making it more complex, but if you sit down and lay out your situation, it probably falls within one of these four areas.

If you find it difficult — you probably don't want to change.

3 Things I Learned While My Plane Crashed.

Ric Elias had a front-row seat on Flight 1549, the plane that crash-landed in the Hudson River in New York in January 2009.

What went through his mind as the doomed plane went down? At TED, he tells his story publicly for the first time.

Motivation Is Your Worst Enemy.

Bosses suck. Motivational speakers are awful. Business books are boring. Your spouse/partner is wrong. I know you sometimes feel this way. I do.

Do you sometimes feel those forces in and around you are just pointing you towards disparate directions? Is it's just too much work to start . . . or if you start, the cavalcade of work will overwhelm you?

Here's the worst one — if you start, you'll know you'll give up midway through and ultimately fail? Again?

Most people live in a rut — doing the same thing every day — even though they are not really happy about where they are in life.

But when they are faced with solutions, they tend to spurn them because they rely on emotional triggers to make them fail before they've even started.

Motivation is truly their enemy — because it gives them a vision, a glimpse of what their life could really be like and then they let their emotional right side ("I can't do that, I'll fail) churn with their logical left side ("You don't have time to do that") and they regularly dismiss the vision.

Does this happen to you? Let me begin by saying — there are no silver bullets. There is no free lunch. Nothing in and of itself will solve all of your problems. Nothing will.

I want you to look at you, your life, your career, your relationships — everything you do — as a gas tank which needs to be topped off regularly to run efficiently and to always have a complete reservoir of energy to tap into.

Don’t wait until your gas tank is empty. If you do, you’ll probably sound like the person in the first half of this post.

You need to regularly stop off at your Shell or Mobil station and top off your Vision Gas Tank. Small fill-ups of motivation will not only keep your engine running clean and efficiently — it will ultimately get you where you want to go.

Doesn't your car run better when it has a full tank of gas? When it's all shiny and clean? I know mine does.

Here’s the kicker — if you use premium gas — your engine will have more horsepower and run even more efficiently.

So motivation isn’t a quick fix or a silver bullet, it’s a series of small, incremental fill-ups.

What can you do?

As I frequently say: “All a person needs is a glimpse to get them started.”

If you read an inspirational book, listen to motivational CD’s or even play your favorite music – you will begin to get a glimpse of what life could be like if you stepped out of your comfort zone. New visions will flow into your head and you will be energized to make them happen immediately.

You will incrementally become inspired and resolve to slowly change your behaviors, set new goals and proceed to pursue them.

All you need is a glimpse. Promise me you will top off your Vision Gas Tank every day and you will see powerful changes occur in your life.

What do you do to top-off your Vision Gas Tank?

Are You A Fake?

Talking to my wife at breakfast today, she mentioned bumping into a good friend of ours that moved away a number of years ago.  We always liked him, but never his wife. Not that she was awful to be with — there was just something off with her interactions with us. We felt that we never saw 'the real' person. Her husband was great — open, honest, informative, and pleasant to be with. We just got the impression that she was critiquing us during our get-togethers and most certainly afterwards.

I think it comes down to authenticity. She wasn't authentic. She didn't let us see the real person — she kept a lot of her personality inside and hidden. When we spoke about meeting the husband to another neighbor, they also commented about the behavior of the wife.

First off — it's not a male/female thing — both are equal opportunity offenders. But you need to observe your behavior — here are some telling signs:

• You don't have many close friends. They don't call you to get together.
• You find that you aren't 'in' on many things at work.
• You are the last to hear about something important happening.
• At parties, people tend to shun you - or they at least keep you at a distance.

How to counteract this?

• Open up - let people know how you feel.
• Tell personal stories - this allows people to understand WHO you are.
• Comment openly - take their feelings into account, but be honest.
• Don't gossip. Don't spread rumors.
• Smile - look people in the eye when you speak.
• Ask people about their day, their work, their life.
• Act genuinely interested in their response.
• Ask if you can do anything for them.

On a scale of 1-10, 10 being totally authentic, and 1 being a total fake, where do you sit? What can you change to be a bit more authentic?

How Not To Get Angry On The Job.

"I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing." - Buddy Hackett We all get angry. It's normal.

The real question is WHY we get angry. As I tell my clients, to be happy, we need to have a certain amount of control in our lives. Not totally, but we have to have a handle on many situations to ensure that we don't go quietly insane.

Unfortunately, things do go a little out of kilter. And our natural response is to get frustrated. That's normal — something is knocking us out of our normal routine or belief structure and our body/mind reacts with frustration.

A typical example are KIDS. If you come home and the family room is a mess, you are immediately out of control (a clean room) and you react with frustration. A lot of parents (me included) might move right into anger and yell at the kids to clean up the room.

The same thing happens at work. A client, a vendor, a team member or your boss capriciously changes the project, agreement, or decision and promptly you are out of control, accelerating into frustration-land and anger is right around the corner.

How do you solve this? When you feel control ebbing away and you start to feel frustration, stop for a second and embrace the feeling. Don't zip right into anger — try to leverage the part of your brain that solves problems.

What you've really been thrown is a problem. Work is made up of problems. Your job is to solve these problems. This is just one more problem you need to solve. Take the emotion, your ego, out of the equation. Recognize it for what it really is, a problem that needs a solution.

Because the minute you get angry, you really lose control and it takes you farther away from getting back in control. Take your kids — you can yell at them — your blood pressure rises, they are scared/resentful, there is acrimony in the air, etc.

If you pull back and start directing them to clean up assertively (no anger), you'll find dutiful helpers who actually clean the room - no acrimony, no high-blood pressure.

Focus on getting back into control at work — solve the problem. Here's an added benefit — people notice when you don't get angry or fly off the handle. They pay attention when you are composed in chaos and deliver alternative solutions to solve the problem.

That's the difference between good and great leaders.

What techniques do you use to get back into control?

How To Energize Everyone You Meet.

I was speaking with one of my incredible clients last week and we began to touch upon how one delivers a powerful and memorable business encounter. What do I mean?

You know when you meet someone and they instantly energize you? Every interaction is not only a positive experience, but also a life-changing one? Where you walk away and say quietly to yourself, "Who is that guy/gal?" You find yourself shaking hands and realizing that you're getting more than you gave?

We've all met people like this. And many people have related that I make them feel that way. So I sat down over the weekend and tried to dissect exactly what I do when I meet people (for the first time and even subsequent meetings).

The best part is they become instant acolytes and customers of YOU. That's a good thing.

It can be broken into four distinct areas:

1. Energy

Summon up the forces within you and exude copious amount of energy when you meet someone. Enthusiasm, vibe, electricity . . . whatever you want to call it . . . you need to grow it within you and then focus it on the person.

A smile, a hearty handshake, a quickness to your step — much of it initially is body language. Focus intently on the person and look them in the eye while you smile.

Talk a bit faster when you first meet and really pound your language with active tones, "REALLY glad to meet you Tom . . . I can't think of a more BEAUTIFUL day outside!"

2. Authenticity

This one is key — many people feel it's what you know or who you know that makes you stand out and successful in today's marketplace. Although they are important, I feel to truly succeed, you need to exude authenticity.

Simply — speak and act truly about your own feelings, thoughts, and desires. Don't hide behind a facade or mask — people can smell it a mile away.

Be yourself — show others who you really are and what you can do. You'll find you will be instantly accepted for being authentic — a rarity in today's business world.

3. Connectivity

Take a concerted interest in the other person — ask questions, listen to their answers, and then interject with follow up questions/builds.

An example: "So where did you go to school? Ripon College? In Wisconsin? I went to Ripon College too! What year did you graduate? Did you know Joe Bestul? Who were your favorite professors? Isn't this AMAZING?"

Try to CONNECT with them — ask loads of questions and find areas of shared interests which will bind you together. Once you make the connection — trust follows.

4. Destiny

Don't leave any interaction, meeting, lunch . . . anything . . . without next steps. If it's a brief encounter — set up a lunch or coffee. If it's a meeting — what will you do for them?

Ensure any interaction has consequence — and hopefully where you provide something for THEM. In doing so, your relationship will broaden, expand, and get stronger.

Try to offer up an emailed article, an introduction, a strong referral — something to make sure you walk away giving more than you received. That's important.

What other areas might I've missed that you find critical to a powerful interaction?

The Complete Guide To Getting What You Want.

It's Finally HERE!

I’m excited to announce that my friend Jenny Blake’s book – Life After College: The Complete Guide to Getting What You Want, a portable life coach for 20-somethings and beyond — hits shelves this month!

Look, I coach all age groups — from the newly minted graduate from college all the way to the energized retiree that wants to jump back into the workforce.

Jenny has focused her incredible book on that time in all our lives, when we've left college and are looking for "THE PLAN" on what to do next (and HOW to do it!). It features practical, actionable advice that helps people focus on the BIG picture of their lives, not just the details.

As Jenny describes it, “There is no need for a highlighter – this book is the highlights: a compilation of tips, quotes and exercises trimmed to the essence, divided into chapters for every major life area. Chapter categories include life (values, goals), work, money, organization, home, friends & family, dating & relationships, health, fun & relaxation, and personal growth.” She covers ALL bases.

While geared toward college graduates, the rapid-fire tips, quotes and interactive coaching exercises would serve anyone looking to find some clarity and direction in their life. To purchase your copy on Amazon (a steal — currently selling for under $12!). You can read more about Jenny on her blog at LifeAfterCollege.org and follow her on Twitter @Jenny_Blake.

As you know, I rarely promote books on my site — but when I do, they're the best you can find. And Jenny is the BEST.

Get Visceral With Your Business.

I meet a lot of people every day. When I ask them what they do, they tell me, "I sell insurance." or "I'm a financial advisor." What they don't realize is an answer like that tends to 'close' down the other person's inquisitiveness immediately. Unless the person has a real interest in talking with you, they will probably move to another topic or another person.

I tell my clients to 'Get Visceral'. Instead of talking about what you do for a living, tell them how you impact people's lives. Touch their hearts. Engage their emotions. Get them to truly feel how you make a difference.

When I'm at a meeting/expo/conference and people ask me what I do, I say, "I make people's dreams come true." That answer IMMEDIATELY encourages the person to ask me another question, "And how do you do that?" They're hooked — I know I have them and I start reeling them in.

I then talk to all things I do for my clients — rather than categorizing myself into a cubbyhole — I paint a vivid picture of all the areas of business life I touch.

Here's an example — If you sell insurance and someone asks you about what you do — show them. Give them a big hug or two-handed handshake and tell them you make your clients feel infinitely secure — without worry. That will bring up a myriad of follow-up questions.

At the very least, it makes the discussion more fun and lively. If all goes well, you might get a new client.

What do you do to touch people's hearts when talking about what you do?

The One Phrase That Will Make You Millions.

And that phrase is: "How Can I Help You?" Stick with me here. If you aren't saying this phrase daily on the job, you are not:

• Delivering excellent service.
• Pushing yourself to new heights.
• Connecting with as many people and growing your network.
• Allowing yourself to be as successful as you can be.

You are not opening yourself up to the universe of opportunity. Okay, I might sound a bit 'out there', but it's true.

We all know the basic tenet of business is service. Whether it is a product, offering, communication, or something else, you need to connect with your clients and customers to deliver optimum service. That's a given.

But to grow from where you are now, you need to transcend the basics and open yourself up to new potentials. One way to do this is to ask: "How Can I Help You?".

Now you might be saying, "Rich, you're crazy." or "I already know that." I totally understand. But here's my point — you need to embrace this phrase and say it to different people EVERY DAY. Don't just hold it in your back pocket and let it out when it best suits you — you need to open yourself up to unforeseen unknowns — and reach out.

I've used this phrase for years with almost everyone I meet (I do have to be slightly selective - some will take advantage of you). Where should you use it?

• Ask your boss if they need any help on a tough project. Tell them you have a little time and can spend it helping them with the more mundane areas of a special project. They will LOVE you.
• Ask everyone you network with how you can help them. It will knock them for a loop. Not only does it catch their attention, it immediately telegraphs that you are a serious professional that wants to get things done.
• Ask each member of your team how you can help them. Tell them if they had to choose one area where you can help them, what would it be? Also tell them that they in turn need to begin asking this question too.
• Extra credit: Ask your family how you can help them. This one will truly throw them for a loop. Be serious — you will not only make their day, you will deepen your relationship with each one. By the way, with your kids, you're teaching them a valuable lesson.

I promise you — if you work this phrase into everything you do in business (and personal life), you will be infinitely more successful, happy, fulfilled, and rich than you ever would be if you didn't say it.

Have you ever actively asked this question? What were the results?

20 Tips To Tune Up Your Life.

A number of weeks ago, one of my favorite sites (Reddit), posted an open forum on what small areas of your life you can subtly tune up where it delivered an incredible result. Here are the BEST of the 5000+ entries from people all over the world:

I gave up soda two years ago. I used to drink it like water. Now I drink water. I sleep better and have lost 5% of my body weight without another major change.

Going through my closets, shelves, etc. and getting rid of things that I haven't used or don't really need. As it's often been difficult in the past for me to part with "things," it's become necessary in order to maintain my sanity.

More risk taking, made me feel more alive. Just jumping in and doing something different, getting myself out of my comfort zone. Engaging in conversation with strangers, got me way more friends than I've ever had previously. Also leads to some powerful stories.

I threw out all my old socks, and bought 10 identical pairs. My life is so much easier.

I cut out sugar and vastly increased vegetable intake.

I started working out and trying to eat better, and girls notice me way more now. It was hard work, but I love being fit. It feels much more natural. A funny response to this tip: “Now if you just get a suit you'll be unstoppable.”

I started flossing on a daily basis about a year ago. I'm normally the guy who goes to the dentist and gets the lecture about taking better care of my teeth. The last time I went, the hygienist finished, looked me in the eyes and said "Your oral hygiene is excellent."

I got rid of all my credit cards 2 years ago. I am more careful with how I choose to spend money.

When I see people I know, even acquaintances, I act like I am genuinely really happy to see them and give them a big smile. Someone else did this for me once. I was hooked.

I quit playing video games and ‘surfing’ the web. The days are so long now I have no idea what to do with them. I actually started writing my dissertation and exercising out of sheer lack of anything else to do.

I started waking up at 5:00 AM so I can get in my personal time to read/work on projects before everyone else is awake to distract me. I used to dread waking up early, now I look forward to that time every night when I go to sleep. FYI - I go to bed at 10:00 PM.

Started dressing nicer. People really do notice.

Recently, I've been sitting up straight. I'm tall so I have a tendency to hunch over and slouch when I'm sitting. The posture makes me feel less sleepy and more alert, which is odd because I can't figure out how that works. The trick for me was to roll back my shoulders and the rest kind of follows.

I left my job in a cubicle to teach preschool. It's a lot less glamorous to tell someone that I work in childcare but it has really affected my lifestyle. Surprisingly, I'm a lot less drained at the end of the day. Something about staring at a computer screen for eight hours is just tiring. Now I come home and actually have energy to do stuff. I'm happier, and most importantly I don't dread work on Sunday evening.

Regular meditation. It definitely takes some patience and practice, but regular meditation has amplified my living experience substantially. I am more engaged in the richness of life as a result. I can glide through tasks with pleasant ease, and never feel like I'm flustered or frustrated. It's hard to explain the subtleties of how practicing meditation has improved my overall well being, its as if people, places, goals, tasks and basically everything else has changed around me plus I have a more confident outlook. HERE is a great beginners guide (direct .pdf download)

I stopped caring about what anyone thought about me. I went from being a shy kid, to a successful, confident, happy man!

Here’s my favorite (one person did this!):

• Remind yourself where you want to be, what you want to be doing, and envision yourself getting there throughout the day. If you have a solid vision, you can make it reality.
• Start the day with some change in a pocket you normally don't keep change in. Every time you say something nice to someone move a coin to another pocket. It is a powerful thing to know at the end of the day that, if nothing else, you made a few people feel good about something.
• Cook dinner for your friends once a week if you can. There is no better bonding than regular dinner as a family.
• Introduce yourself to everyone you come into contact with at social events. Everyone has a story to share and most have the desire to collaborate. You'll never know who you might have met and what you could have accomplished together if you don't say hi and they don't know your name.

The Secret To Become Truly Happy.

Are you fulfilling your destiny? You have it inside you — you know it and I know it — you just have to make a personal decision to bring it out. What are your desires? Your TRUE desires. Not "I want an iPad" or "I want a promotion". What do you REALLY want to do with your life?

This is NOT a hard question — it's not complicated — what excites you IS your destiny. You just have to realize it and move forward towards it.

The problem is that we tend to stick stone walls between us and our destiny.

What are you passionate about? What do you really love doing? Who do you like to hang around with? Where do you like to go?

Let's be honest with ourselves — it probably isn't an inner cubicle with florescent lighting for 8 to 10 hours a day. Throw in various team status meetings in confined conference rooms with no windows and jerks that lurk around every corner — I know of no one who looks forward to that.

So why do we do it? It's the security and the money. But that's not true.

• Security — There is no security in today's workplace. They can fire you at the drop of a hat. So stop kidding yourself.
• Money — If you figure in all the money you make and then all the expenses you need to make that money (clothes, commute, lifestyle) and the taxes, it's really not a lot compared to the possibility of doing what you REALLY love and making just a little bit less.

Do you like to build things? Do you like to work with people? Do you like to engage and motivate people? Do you like to work with other age groups (children or seniors)? Do you like to be outdoors or indoors? Work with your hands?

The funny thing is — we tend to let life and other people take our destiny over. They make the decisions where we go, what we do, where we work, who we interact with.

That's why you feel that there is something missing from your life — a hole, an emptiness, a void that cannot be filled based on your current viewpoint.

You need to change your view, wear new glasses, step out of that cubicle and figure out what excites you. What energizes you. What motivates you.

Keep saying this to yourself, "You are not meant to live a miserable, unfulfilled life." Don't spend 30 years doing something you don't like to do.

Make that change TODAY.

Who has made the change and feels 1000% better that they made that change? Let me know!

3 Ways To Deal With Conflict At Work.

Is there someone at work that brings out the anger in you? Even if you act kindly towards them, do they still cause consternation with you, your work, your meetings or your staff? Have you ever heard the term, “Kill them with kindness”? Most of the time, pleasantness and joy in the face of rudeness may seem tough to maintain, but the end results are usually worth it. In my opinion, kindness is becoming an increasingly rare commodity in our society.

This is not going to be an easy exercise. In fact, it will test your patience and temerity with the intended colleague. Let’s face it, there are a host of problematic people who represent the entire spectrum of positive and negative behaviors (look at me!). You’re going to run into one or two of them everywhere you work.

If you attempt to try each of these techniques in order, you’ll find that you will not only suck all the negative energy out of that person, you might win them over to your way of thinking.

1. Agree Wholeheartedly

When you speak with them, smile, nod and agree. Agree with whatever is being said. Keep in mind while you're looking this person straight in the eyes, that it really doesn't matter who is right. If you know you're right about a situation, then that's that.

This person is looking for some level of disagreement and unfortunately for them, you are not playing into their trap. In fact, you are blowing it apart and it will puzzle them. Even if their demands or ideas are completely outrageous, say you see their point, agree with them.

They will see that their twisted needs aren’t being met and they will probably move on to someone else.

2. Ignore Them

You’ve probably also heard, “Turn the other cheek” — the act of turning away from aggression and ignore it rather than retaliate. If agreeing with them doesn’t work, just ignore them.

Don’t give them any of your time or any reason for them to persist in their abhorrent behavior. This is a great method to teach your staff too — once they see your behavior towards this individual, they can adopt it too.

3. Pour On The Syrup

This is the fun part — do you want to give them a taste of their own medicine? Deliver an increased dose of kindness towards that person by focusing a lot of positive attention towards them. Ask them about their weekend, see if you can help them with a simple task or item, or bring them a little gift. You might want to drop off an article that you read that they might enjoy.

Pour it on — go out of your way to make them feel a little bit uncomfortable with your attention. Be kind, not vindictive — focus on the positive. Odds are, the people around you will recognize what you’re doing and enjoy it, because they're probably in the same situation you’re in.

Do you have someone at work that causes bitterness and conflict?

Creating A Life Plan . . . Today.

Many of my clients ask how can they apply our session learnings to their personal life. I say it's easy — you just have to take the first step. My life plan system is comprised of four areas:

1. Create A Purpose Statement. Why do you want to do this? "I want to see the world and meet new people." What do you want to change? "I want to spend more time with my kids." What do you want to add? Get out a big sheet of paper and begin thinking BIG. Use a huge Post-It notepad with markers. You want lots of room, lots of ideas - this is going to get messy! You are going to change often during this process - hone down ideas, think of new ones, and throw some out the window.
2. Set Clear Goals. What are the specific goals you want to reach? Not "have more happiness" - where? And back to Purpose . . . Why? Take one sheet per goal and start to see how you can transfer your purpose to specific goals.
3. Define Steps & Activities. Articulate each step you'll need to take. Who needs to help you? What will you need to do? What will you stop doing? What other resources do you need to help you move through each step? Get messy on each page - list all the steps then begin to put them in order. Then add completion dates to each activity.
4. Take Action. Just Do it. Pick the first step - and get it done this weekend.
5. Refine As Needed During the journey, life will get in your way. You need to be resilient and stick to the plan. Or make subtle changes as you accelerate or decelerate.

You either have to do it by yourself or have a spouse, partner or friend work with you. The better communication that you have with them (or yourself), the more successful you'll be.

In addition, having someone to do it with makes it that much more fun and powerful. And you will stick to it.

The Most Inspirational Social Media I've Ever Seen.

Every so often, a good friend sends you a story, an article, or a video in this case, that not only gives you hope and inspires you, it knocks your social media socks off. I know this will go viral (259,000 views since Sunday). It's not funny, there's no vitriol, just Carl Sagan talking to us over some magnificent images of our world from Reid Gower with Michael Marantz playing piano. Bravo NASA!

SIMPLE AND POWERFUL.