Want To Change Your Life? Read This Poem.

I love Rudyard Kipling’s “If”. It’s a magnificent poem — it doesn’t get too maudlin, but it does have its highs (it’s been voted Britain’s favorite poem). Check out the bolded areas and see if they have meaning for you and what you do.

Trust me — it’s powerful (the line with triumph and disaster is emblazoned at Centre Court at Wimbledon):

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master; If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, ‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Which quote resonated clearly with your career? Which one made you think twice? Let’s talk.I’ve worked with a number of clients — and we developed a successful strategy to grow your career exponentially. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me — I offer only one complimentary session each week.

10 Tips To Recover After A Crisis.

Last year, my home and business were hit by a terrible snowstorm (Irene) which knocked out power for over eight days. Even though I had access to cell phones and internet, it played a mental and physical toll on me. As the main provider to my household, it affected me mentally — WHY? — our situation was totally out of my control. Even though we had a generator with power, heat and food, life was way from normal. The mental toll played out personally and professionally. I constantly worried about any further impacts to our situation, sustained boredom, and how it was playing on my clients.

Guess what? Everything was fine — I just had to refocus my energy on positive actions which would move me forward. So here are 10 tips to help you cope with a natural disaster which might affect your career or business:

1. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

When life knocks us for a loop, we tend to roll with the punch and stay down. If you know boxing, you only have 10 seconds to get back up before the fight is over. That means you need to get back up ASAP and realize there will be light at the end of the tunnel and wallowing in our own misfortune will not get us there.

2. Keep busy.

Fill up every day with things to do. Why? It doesn't allow you to worry about what didn't happen or occur during the emergency and it gets you back on the horse ASAP. Think about tactical, strategic and communication activities — what actions will bring the most impact. In addition, if your boss or clients see you humming along like a rocket, they will be impressed!

3. Stay in contact with your clients, boss, and team.

Communication is key. Reconnect with everyone, ask questions, and see how you can help. Give them tips on how to recover. Or just LISTEN. Most people just want to talk, vent, and look for answers — it is great that you are there for them.

4. If you can't do tactical duties, work on strategic stuff.

If you're held back by others or processes beyond your control, do something else. Remember that project or initiative you never have time to work on? Now you have time - do it!

5. Reach out and engage people you usually don't connect with.

Broaden your contact sphere and reach out to people you normally don't talk to. I promise they are looking for a shoulder to cry on and you are there to listen. Also — they are a week behind too — see how your abilities and business might help them solve their problems.

6. Try to help, inform, and impact everyone you meet.

Everyone. People on the street might need a jump for their car, your neighbors, other people in your office building, etc. Right after the emergency, most people need help getting themselves, their career and their business back up and running. This is the time to reach out.

7. Did I say keep busy?

Don't stop for anything, keep busy and your mind thinking of new ideas how to move forward!

8. Get your name out there to see if you can help.

This is the best time to market yourself. If you're a business — increase your marketing by 100%. Get onto social media — blog, tweet, facebook, etc. Get your name out there. If you work for an organization  — market yourself — who can you reach out to and help them with their project? Reach out to your boss and show them what you've done so far.

9. Get your head straight.

It's over. Move on and stop venting how bad it was. Whine for one minute and then move on with your life. It's behind you. Don't let it continually affect you over the coming months.

10. Rocket out of your current position and fly forward.

Set up the launch pad, fuel your rocket, and hit the ignition switch. Use this calamity as a reason to rocket your business or career into the stratosphere. Start thinking BIG!

How To Miss Work The Right Way When An Emergency Strikes.

As we batten down the hatches here on the east coast for Hurricane Sandy, I thought I would write a quick post on how to handle interruptions to your work schedule without it affecting your workflow and your relationship with your boss.

1. Get a feel how your boss and company reacts.

When you first start at a company, in your HR packet you'll find basic rules and regulations for missing work, closures, etc. Take these with a grain of salt — nothing is ever 'locked in stone' in business.

Get a better idea by watching your boss and see what they do (and say) when someone else is absent or when something happens (snowstorm, inclement weather, emergency). If they're normal, they are usually lenient and let the person (or persons) off the hook pretty quickly. But sometimes you have one of two types of bosses:

a. Workaholic - will never miss work, work ridiculous hours, and constantly compares their work performance with their people. They're the only one at work during a blizzard, a hurricane or a blackout. It seems they like work more than life — they do. If you speak reasonably to them, they usually understand (they are not unreasonable people - like B below).

b. Killjoy - someone who takes pleasure in making other people's lives hell when they need an accommodation. If your kid is sick and you have to stay home that one day out of 365 — they give you grief — you get the idea. Usually standing firm with these jerks tend to scare them away (recite the HR rules), but you're never going to win the war. If it becomes a problem, you need to change bosses or your company.

2. Pre-plan by communicating.

Let your boss (after speaking with them), your peers, your team and your clients know each eventuality and what will happen.

Especially your team. The better you communicate EXACTLY what to do, the less calls and confusion you'll receive during a storm or event. If you're going to be sick, pre-plan it with your boss that you'll leave a voicemail on their cell and follow up with an email. It's that simple. For your team, ensure by communicating for them to bring home their laptops and any work they might need.

3. Let key people know about your plans.

During the event, let people know what you're doing and what is expected of them.

Keep the communication flowing, expectations regularly committed, and deadlines met (or extended). A daily 15 minute follow-up via phone can ensure most items are accounted for and moving. Conference calls are  the norm — it allows people to feel that they are still connected.

Let your customers know via email and if there is a problem or deadline missed, pick up the phone (also - ask them for direct cell lines prior to the emergency — I have it built into my welcome packet).

4. Back up your absence the best that you can.

If you have a team and you're sick or taking care of an emergency, specify who will handle your workload when you are absent. A little pre-planning here will go a LONG way.

Pick the person or persons who will ensure your work flows without interruption and will keep you in the loop in case something happens.

If you take a little time and observe, pre-plan, communicate, and act — any absence — long or short — will not be a big deal.

How To Be A Great Audience.

I do a LOT of presentations, workshops, keynotes, and informal speeches (usually colleagues and friends ask me to stand up and give the audience a few words of wisdom). I also attend a lot of presentations, sales calls, workshops, etc. And it's funny — lately many presenters have been commenting after the presentation (and some during!), that I was a powerful energizer and helped them with their presentation.

I thought I was just sitting there and listening. I was wrong.

I've been taking notes and have found I exhibit a number of basic behaviors that make me a 'great' audience member. Here they are:

1. I smile.

So simple, yet EVERYONE forgets to do this. Some people smile, some have blank stares and some (and I don't think they realize this) they are frowning, smirking, or looking pretty angry. You're going to hear me talk a lot about energy transferral — and smiling is a simple and easy one to do. So if you remember, try to smile when they are speaking — not an insane, serial killer smile, just a sincere smile.

2. I nod my head.

When the presenter makes a point, I instinctively move my head and agree with them. Sometimes I do it unconciously, sometimes purposefully. In any case, it transfers energy to the speaker and gives them a temperature check of their speaking level.

3. I heartedly applaud at the beginning and the end.

It's hard for some people to stand up and immediately feel comfortable about speaking. A rousing round of applause with their name yelled out gets their blood pumping and immediately engaged. At the end, I'm one of the first slapping my hands together and standing — and getting the rest of the audience up and clapping. It's just the right thing to do.

4. I laugh at their humor.

I range from a small guffaw to a hearty laugh — let it out! When a presenter has a good sense of humor and uses it — the time flies, you enjoy the presentation, and you actually absorb what they're saying. Don't be a sour-puss — no one will like you (trust me on this).

5. I am engaged.

I listen to 'what' they are saying and not what my next appointment might be. I am present and actively engaged with the speaker, audience and topic. Live in the present and you will have a wonderful past and an exciting future.

6. I approach the presenter.

I always arrive early (it's a pleasant defect in my personality, so sue me) — so I always ask if I can help them set up. In addition, I always get the best seat in the house — not only to view the presentation — but the 'power' seat to speak if needed.

After the presentation, I always thank the presenter, mention 1-2 tips they touched upon, and give them positive feedback. Most people don't do this and sometimes the presenter doesn't get a good temp check on how they did.

And here's the PAYOFF . . .

Now step back and think — how can 'being a great audience' help your career or business? What happens if your boss was presenting? Or a valuable client? Or someone on your team? How would this help you? A lot.

I'm not saying to be disingenuous and fake about your emotions to the presenter — but I am stating that you need to let your body language and energy flow to the presenter and audience. If you are just yourself and let your emotions flow, you'll find yourself enjoying other people's presentations more, learning, and having more fun. It's infectious.

And guess what — they will do it for you to when you're presenting!

Happy With Your Career? Not For Long.

One of my favorite quotes from Bruce Lee: "If you alway put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else — it will spread into work and into your life. There are no limits — there are only plateaus and you must not stay there — you must go beyond them."

What is Bruce really saying when it comes to your career or business?

Everything in your life is a plateau on an endless mountain. You work hard — you move up — and make it to the next plateau. You get settled — you enjoy that plateau — and then you make plans to move from that plateau to the next plateau on the mountain.

And I promise you — if you stay at that plateau for a long time — one of three realities will occur:

1. You WILL get bored of that plateau and start self-sabotaging behaviors.

I see this happen all of the time. We get comfortable and we get to know our responsibilities, our deliverables, our customers. Unfortunately, a career without challenges tends to become predictable and boring. And when things in our life become predictable and boring — we tend to take them for granted.

We start to let some areas grow fallow — we start to procrastinate on delivering — just a bit at first, but then it becomes endemic. We might start coming in later to work or leave earlier. We might not get back to our best customer as quickly as we used to. We spend a little too much time surfing or sleeping on the job — and everyone begins to notice.

Solution: When you start to get bored — the very millisecond you get bored — start looking for the new plateau to move to and START CLIMBING.

2. Someone WILL kick you off that plateau.

In my Welcome Packet I send to new clients, I have a powerful quote on the front cover: "If you aren’t continually reinventing yourself, your company, or your brand, it’s only a matter of time before you become obsolete, irrelevant, and go out of business." And that's 100% true.

Someone or some company is going to come along and shake your apple tree. You might see the apples fly all over the place and say to yourself, "I have a strong stem — nothing will happen to me."

But you're wrong. Think of what's happening right now in the marketplace — what has happened to the publishing, newspaper, media, advertising, music, auto, banking industries (just to name a few)? If things aren't falling all around you — you might be falling off the number one spot to number two (or three). Or your vocation is changing and YOU need to chart out a new direction for your business to sail towards.

Solution: Keep your peripherals moving at all times — keep looking around and see if anyone (or any company/industry) is going to begin to take over your plateau. Don't get comfortable, get moving.

3. Your plateau WILL disappear and you will fall.

We frequently make the wrong assumption and think, "This is a great job/company, I am challenged every day, and nothing will really change (at least for the time being)."

You're WRONG. 40-50 years ago, you might be right — my father had his position at Electrolux until the day he retired. But stop kidding yourself — those jobs are GONE.

In fact, each year, the market is moving faster and faster. Industries that were booming just a decade ago are now gone.  I'm always in awe when I visit my local cable company (usually to trade in my broken DVR player) and see just 10-15 years ago all the awards on the walls, the photos of all the accomplishments, the parties, the fun that filled all the offices and people there.

Now there are two VERY bored people on the other side of the glass partition who collect cable payments and exchange DVR players. That's it. Everyone else is GONE.

Solution: Sometimes plateaus disappear instantly, but most of the time, it take awhile for them to totally evaporate. So you have time — not a lot of time — but just enough to find that next handhold and start climbing up.

So the only logical decision to be made is to start climbing up. Because you don't want to start climbing down.

There's no time like the present — START CLIMBING.

P.S. By the way, this also applies to your life too. Your marriage. Your friends. Keep it fresh! Keep it growing!

Social Media Is Ruining Your Life.

How many text messages do you send in a day? How many emails? Tweets? Foursquares? How many quotes/photos/links do you post on Facebook? Pinterest? How many sites do you surf to learn about the world around you?

All of this is GOOD. But it shouldn't be the end-all of what you do to communicate every day.

Do you interact with strangers anymore? Your neighbors? The shopkeeper down the street? The man at Starbucks who makes you that perfect coffee every day?

As we stretch out via the web, we are slowly and subtly closing out many people around us. Not our friends, but those people I call "Strangers". You know, the people you DON'T know and unfortunately, they don't know you either.

As we entwine our lives with more and more social media outlets, it allows us to forgo the opportunity to reach out to people we touch everyday — the waitress, the auto mechanic, the crossing-guard at the school — and have a meaningful conversation with them.

Honestly, we don't even have to talk to them anymore — they are not only strangers, they are 'non-people' in our lives.

You might say — so what? But you might be missing out on your new best friend, your new boss, or your new life partner.

A better title for this post should be "Start A Conversation".

In the next few days, start a conversation with 3-5 strangers whom you wouldn’t normally talk to:

Ask them a question, make them laugh, or give them a compliment (I really like how your arranging those oranges - how do you do that?). You also need to get a response back — and if the opportunity presents itself, have a conversation.

But this is my charge to you — you have to do it this week. Make it happen.

When Things Aren't Working - Do The Opposite.

There's a famous Seinfeld episode where George is at a very low point in his life. Nothing is working and he doesn't know what his next step should be.

You can watch it here: http://youtu.be/cKUvKE3bQlY

What would happen if YOU did the opposite of what your instincts (fear) tell you? If what you've been doing has been delivering the wrong results, what would happen if you did the exact opposite? For example:

• If you have a bad communication channel with your boss, your natural instinct is to shy away. What if you increased your communication and asked the best channel to communicate?
• If you are reticent about attending an event, go to the event with a few friends, buy a new suit, and have new business cards printed. Engage people once you enter and act like the host.
• Having problems with a client or colleague? Instead of letting it go and fester, make a point of engaging that person and see how you can make your relationship healthier, stronger and more resilient.

So instead of doing what you ALWAYS do, try the exact opposite. See what happens — you might surprise yourself!

What Would Happen If You Disconnected From Email?

Take a trip with me. You have your smartphone and you unlink your email settings from your email server, making it impossible to receive email on your smartphone. You could probably still access your email via the browser on your smartphone — but that is so time-consuming, you'd rather not.

Your last email to your team, clients, and colleagues is to let them know you will be checking email at regular intervals during the day while you are at the office and if there is an actual emergency, to call you on your smartphone. But for all intents and purposes, you are not reading or responding to emails when you're not in the office.

What would happen?

1. You might get a few more phone calls.

But that's not a terrible thing. Instead of getting into a viscious email communication chain on some obscure topic, you can probably handle it with a quick 3-5 minute call. And you can group your callbacks and keep them short.

2. You get more organized and focused when you did access your email at the office.*

Initially, it would build up. But as team members, clients, and colleagues would notice, email would cease to be a primary communication vehicle for you. Since you only had a limited amount of time to read your email, you would only focus on those emails that were from key members of your team or were directly sent to you. Anything else most likely can fall by the wayside. *I totally understand if you spend 90-100% of your time away from the office — your smartphone is critical. But what would happen if you just checked emails when you opened your laptop? Or if you checked your smartphone at discreet times during the day and not ALL the time?

3. You would get slower replying to email.

No more quick responses — email is not texting or twitter. In fact, I would ask you not to use those tools either. The whole idea is to limit interruptions to your day to be able to focus on the important and strategic things happening in your life. If it's tactical- or emergency-based use the phone.

4. You would get faster communicating with your staff, clients, and colleagues.

No more long-winded emails — no death-defying email chains that go on forever. Just small phone interruptions (or grouping of phone calls) to connect and engage, manage, or inform. You can get a reputation of fast phone calls, keep them to 1-2 minutes or less and focus on the task at hand and make decisions or take action. Email prolongs debate — how many times have you been put through the email wringer with various vicious email cycles?

A number of clients of mine have done this and they've found a significant lightening of their load AND they are getting more things done. Why?

Email is not a very good communication vehicle.

It takes a long time to compose an email, there are many instances when you do give direction and someone doesn't see it, or the email message is misconstrued in a way where you come of yelling or reprimanding. Bottom line - email is not 'two-way' communication — it's a broadcast medium. In fact, it's worse, when you run into CC: and BCC: transmissions of the same email.

These reactive responses deliver the wrong message — not promoting or pushing projects and people forward — they actually get into email ruts. Trust me — I've been there.

Finally, email turns into heroin for some people. You know who you are — reading your email constantly like a stock ticker — responding instantly to people. How much productivity is wasted with this type of communication? What might be a better way of communicating?

So if you're brave — try unlinking your email today. If you just want to try it, don't check your email at all today — have an email response: "I won't be able to check my email today on my phone, please call me if it's urgent."

Go for it.

How To Win The Lottery Of Your Life.

From Jeb Corliss (professional skydiver and base jumper): Someone posted this on my page — "I think you should have a "lottery" to offer average "Joe Blows" like me, the opportunity to experience life on your scale. Especially towards the ones who appreciate life as immensely as you do."

I responded with this — That lottery exists :)

It's called hard work and sacrificing everything to live a dream. I started with nothing. I worked in a movie theater making $4 an hour. I ate ramen noodles and only spent money on jumping and nothing else. Anyone can do what I do but not by asking others to do it for you.

You have to get up off your ass and take some risks with your life. There is no safe way to do what I have done. At any turn I could have died and almost did many many times. But I kept taking the risks. I kept braking the bones. I kept watching my friends die. I never gave up and now here I am.

There is no magic leprechaun that's going to do it for you. You have to do it for your self and you have to be willing to take the risks and pay the consequences for your actions. Those consequences are pain, suffering and most likely death. So are you sure you want what I have. Because it's yours for the taking. Just grow some balls and do it.

To learn more about Jeb Corliss, check out his site, his facebook page, and his twitter page. What a guy!

Why Is Everyone Acting Like A Child Today?

It's getting worse. I'm hearing it from both my business and corporate clients. There's a clear delineation between how people interact and how they run their business.

Look — I coach CEO's, CMO's, SVP's, Executives, Attorneys, Doctors, Wall Street Financiers, Business Owners, etc. So I've seen it all.

Has this ever happened to you?

• You've gone on 7-10 interviews and are ready for an offer and then suddenly they say the position is on-hold or gone.
• You've presented in front of a client multiple times and it's a done deal — then they disappear.
• Prospects show extreme interest then they don't return your calls and emails.
• Your client disappears for weeks on end then it's hurry-up, hurry-up.
• Clients who hold back payments for completed service for weeks/months or they debate the fee even though they agreed to it prior to the engagement.
• You meet someone and they show EXTREME interest in your product/service, but when you call them to confirm your lunch/coffee, they act like they don't even know you OR they never answer the phone.
• They're your friend and close client one day — and the next, they're questioning every price and moving on to another service provider.

Guess what? Here's the reason — let me break it down for you:

• 40% of the people you work with act like ADULTS.
• 30% of the people you work with act like TEENS.
• 30% of the people you work with act like CHILDREN.

What do I mean?

ADULTS - The 40%

These are the acquaintances, prospects, and clients who act NORMALLY. They are responsible, they follow up on their promises, they return phone calls and emails on time, they pay on-time, and are generally easy to navigate and get along with. They're reasonable and are satisfied with the product/service delivered.

These are the keepers — treat them like GOLD.

TEENS - The 30%

These are the acquaintances, prospects, and clients who act like TEENS. They are fine most of the time and are easy to do business with, but there are times when they act irrationally. For no good reason. They get emotional, they shut down, they bite back.

It's usually for a good reason — their business is hurting, they just lost a key team member or client, or the industry is changing. Unfortunately, they take it out on YOU. It's not fair, but that's business.

Most of the time — they just need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to listen to them. Be there for them and they will be your client for life. Be flexible, modify your offering, help them get through this bump in their career or business.

CHILDREN - The 30%

These are the acquaintances, prospects, and clients who act IRRATIONALLY all the time or from the outset of your relationship. You've probably run into these people — they treat you like SHIT. They don't care if their behavior impacts your business. They see you are calling and emailing — they won't give you the benefit of a simple phone call.

These acquaintances, prospects, and clients need a firm slap in the face. At the end of the day, you really have nothing to lose. You need to get their attention in a very calculated way. Here are some suggestions:

• Stop playing nice - shut them down. Be cordial and professional, but when you call them say, "I get the feeling you might be too busy to return my calls and I understand that. Unfortunately, this will be my last communication with you. Good luck with your endeavors and I hope you have a great 2012." When you step back, they usually follow and call you.
• Escalate the interaction. Stop by their office (especially if they owe you money) and ask to see them. Say, "Hey, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I would stop by." Get in their face — smile and engage them.
• Appeal to their nobler motives (this usually doesn't work with children). Call them and let them know you've been trying to contact them for weeks or months. Say you've tried to be professional — but your just going to have to let them go. But before you hang up, give them some bait, "I had a really good prospect, report, idea, connection for you — oh well."

The most important behavior is to escalate the interaction in some way. This economy has sent a lot of people into a scarcity/cocoon mode. They don't want to make decisions (even though they know they have to), they don't want to spend money (even though it's imperative they do), and they display aberrant behavior that burns bridges constantly.

They think they can get by with this behavior — but it's just slowly digging a deep hole for them.

So when you run into an adult — cherish them! A teen — ask questions, listen, and help them through this bump. Children — escalate the interaction — you have nothing to lose.

I'd love to hear your experiences and if you have a different percentage breakdown — LET ME KNOW!

5 Powerful Lessons From My Vacation - Part Two.

I didn't expect to write this post. But my last post, 5 Powerful Lessons From My Vacation, garnered so many comments with suggestions of other powerful lessons . . . I just had to do a Part Two to share my readers comments with you! So without further ado . . . here are my second five lessons: 

6. Engage With New People

Tracy from my Executive Coaching group related: "One of the things I love to do is to engage with people I meet meaningfully, for example in cafes and businesses that I use. I have found the investment of time and interest in others has rewarded me hugely in feeling joyful. Don't lose the feeling and save some you, for you. Thanks for sharing such a great time."

Tracy is absolutely right - many times I had the opportunity to interact with many different people during my vacation. Since I am a slight extrovert, I tend to ask questions of people to get them talking. And I had many WONDERFUL conversations!

7. Connect With Nature

Diane from my Executive Coaching group: "I'd like to add one thing to your list, which I think you realized on the farm without saying it - connecting with nature. Nothing helps put things in perspective for you, or brings awareness to yourself, your surroundings and your connectedness with all things than being outdoors. For me, it's the north shores of Lake Superior that completely humbles me." :-)

I love how Diane simply states the obvious - take the time to notice nature - and the benefits are endless.

Also, my good friend BJ said: "Great Post Rich. Vacations are essential. Even my short trip to VT did wonders! Don't have to be an long or exotic to be mind adjusting."

8. Recapture Your Childhood

Gary from a Dale Carnegie group exclaimed: "Having just returned from a week in Mexico with my family where I turned off my phone and threw it in the hotel safe, I fully agree with your five epiphanies. I also learned that it's possible to zip-line upside down. What a rush!"

When was the last time you got permission to act like a kid? Not only is it fun — it energizes you and brings back all the playfulness of your younger years. In addition, it opens up your mind to all the possibilities (like a kid) and eliminates all of the obstacles we put in our way (like an adult).

9. Gain Self Confidence

Tom from my Entrepreneur team gave me a great quote: "Don’t put yourself on sale. This is my favorite mantra from financial guru Suze Orman. While Suze’s target audience is directed to women, the advice applies to everyone. When you skip vacations, you put yourself on sale. If you have 2-weeks of paid vacation and don’t use them, you’re essentially working for free. By committing to a vacation, you declare to yourself (and to others) that you are important and deserve dedicated time for yourself."

Tom - you are spot on target! So many people don't take the requisite time off and in the end, they suffer for it. If you don't declare that you are important, who will? When I let all of my clients know about my impending vacation, they were overjoyed to hear I will be taking time off and heartily wished me a great time. What a great send off to get!

10. Impact People You Meet

Steve's comment (from my Bulletproof Your Career club) threw me for a loop: "You get out of your social and professional circles. You are thrust into other spheres, worlds, and situations normally not encountered with your day t0 day meanderings. And when you bump into these people - they also bump into you and most of the time - are blown away with what YOU bring to the table."

When you're on vacation - you are bumping into a lot of people. People who you can affect — make their day better, get them up when their down, teach them something they may not know, or best of all — touch their soul.

I CAN'T SAY THIS ENOUGH: If you haven’t gone on vacation — GO. You can afford the time away from work. 

5 Powerful Lessons From My Vacation.

I took 10 days off over the past week for a much needed vacation for me and my family. We made our way down to Maryland's eastern shore (to a family farm) and then made our way to visit Washington DC. Even though I was relaxing, I had a lot of time during our travels to think about what I learned during my vacation:

1. I disconnected from my practice.

I came back to 500+ emails — but I made sure prior to my vacation, to let all of my clients, colleagues and friends know I'd be gone and if they really needed to reach me, to call. No one called. The time away from email was energizing. Knowing every day that I could just get up and go for a swim, or a walk, or just sit and read gave me real clarity and focus.

It gave me the permission to clear out the cobwebs and focus on what really important — personally and professionally.

2. I watched people.

My disconnection allowed me to watch and engage people from all walks of life. It allowed me to see really bad service and really exceptional service during my time on the road. It

I walked around with a new sense of wonder — engaging people and asking them questions — how's your day going, what's it like to work here, do they ever see anyone famous, etc. It's amazing how animated people get when they someone takes a sincere interest in their life.

3. I built deeper connections with the people I love.

One of the most important things I did was to spend time with my family — my wife and two sons (ages 11 and 16). We had a lot of fun relaxing at the farm and then sightseeing in DC. My two favorites — seeing my 16 year old son act as tour guide while we were in DC (I was so proud) and my 11 year old son have so much fun cutting down bamboo at the farm (he is a dedicated Mythbusters fan and will tackle any project with aplomb).

In addition, I spent quality time with my life partner. She and I have known each other for over 33 years (married 22) and still learn new aspects of one another every day. This vacation grew us closer together.

4. I had time to learn.

I spent a portion of my time reading and enjoying books. I also engaged with my older brother, his wife and sons and learned a host of new things about the world around me. We didn't talk business — we talked more about the world and philosophy in general. When was the last time you did that?

5. I recharged my batteries.

Let me state — I was not 'powered-down' and in need of energy. I was okay — I was moving along just fine over the past eight months. But it's like hooking you up to a powerful energy source (as in The Avengers movie, during the fight between Iron Man and Thor - Thor hit Iron Man with a huge bolt of lightning - and suddenly, Iron Man's energy potential shot upwards of 400%).

It really got my mind working in higher gears and began to build up a reserve of energy to take me through the end of 2012. I am full of ideas and direction — stay tuned!

If you haven't gone on vacation — GO. You can afford the time away from work.

Don't Think Too Much. Just Act.

"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything." - Win Borden "A ship is safe in a harbor, but that's not what ships are for." - William Shedd

I wanted to hit you early this morning with a few of my favorite and powerful quotes. 

I've been doing a LOT of public speaking lately. Conferences, keynotes, expos, organizations, and corporate gigs have been littering my calendar lately. It's been a BLAST. And I've learned a lot about the people I present to.

They're scared. Not the monster in the closet with the knife scared, but a slow, rhythmic, fear that invades their life. Their thinking.

And their actions.

The markets are unsure right now. Business is unsure right now. People are unsure right now.

But this is one of the best times to strike out and do something DIFFERENT. Take a chance. Try something new. BE BOLD IN LIFE.

I promise you — there are a LOT of people out there right now making a lot of money based on their ideas, their connections, and their HUSTLE.

You can be one of them too.

So today's charge for you is to look at what you do everyday and do it differently. Make a change. Reach out to someone who you thought was untouchable. Start something new. Improve and expand what you do.

It will not only motivate and inspire you — it will energize and get everyone around you to notice your tsunami.

Make it happen.

How To Better Control Your Time.

Time is the one thing you can never get back. So you need to be careful with it, don't waste it, don't hurry through it, and use it effectively. You need to CONTROL your time.

How do you do that? It's easy and it's hard — here are some tips:

Clear Your Desk.

I know . . . it's hard. But once it's done, it is so easy to focus without any distractions to instantly pull you away from the task at hand. Also there is the visual aspect of a clean desk. You FEEL better about yourself and your surroundings. It's easier to find things and important papers don't get lost.

So here's my strategy — Pile, View, Attack/File/Toss/LCB:

1. Pile - Take everything off your desk and make a single pile of paper.
2. View - Pick up and look at each piece of paper. You must make four piles:
3. Attack - work on it immediately - something you can complete within a short amount of time.
4. File - File it away for future access.
5. Toss - Throw it away. I know it's hard - but most of your pile can go this route.
6. LCB: Last Chance Bin - get a box and place it under your desk. If you are unsure of tossing something, put it into this bin. If you need it later, it's there. If not (after 3-6 months), toss it out. This bin works wonders.

Plan Your Day.

This is the hardest and surprisingly the easiest way to get a better handle on your time. Why?

If you go somewhere or if you're on a trip, you have a destination and a route to get there. That's called a plan.

Why is it when you get to work you don't architect the same thinking for your activities, meetings, and tasks? What needs to be done — what is it's priority — and when will you complete it?

Randy Pausch developed a very simple, yet effective template to help anyone plan their day. It's made up of four quadrants:

• Due Soon and Not Due Soon
• Important and Not Important

When you look at your "Attack" pile of work for the day, you usually work through it based on time in and time out. But importance flies out the window — most people aren't working on the most important and critical tasks. This tool helps them do it.

Which ones to work on first? Upper left! Which ones to work on last? Lower right! Here's a PDF template you can use.

Work On One Thing At A Time.

This is where we all fall down. We think we can 'multi-task' our work and guess what? We never get anything done or even worse, we do things in a haphazard fashion.

Take your Attack pile and your Activity List and make your way down each item. Once it's complete, check it off. Set aside time to work on your attack pile — don't answer the phone — don't let anyone bother you — don't let anything take your focus away from the task at hand until you are DONE. You can always return that phone call 15-30 minutes later or go see the person who wanted to see you.

Also — turn your email reminders OFF. You can get back to checking email when you're DONE.

At first it will be difficult. But when you start to see a clean desk, a planned out day, and REAL progress on your work. These basic behaviors will begin to kick in. Try it!

Your Communication Skills Stink – Part Two.

Last week, I covered why communication is so important to business. Speaking with your clients, team, peers and boss are all critical to your success and are usually the nexus of problems when things go awry. See Part One here. If you break down the structure of communication, it really is the transmission of information. You say something, I respond. I say something, you respond.

It's a 'Give & Take' relationship, but sometimes the signal lines can be bad. The wires are compromised. Emotions get in the way.

And this can happen in a millisecond. It's probably happened to you — you are speaking with someone and suddenly — they shut down, they get an angry look on their face, or they bite back with venom. It's all happened to all of us — we chose the wrong word, or focused on the wrong example — and BAM! We get hit right in the nose. And it hurts.

Especially when communicating information. When selling to a prospect, instructing a team member, or speaking with a superior, one needs to be SO careful — here is the architecture of the conversation.

On one end is IDU — I Don't Understand. On the other is YDU — You Don't Understand.

IDU is the state where the person begins to shut down because you are speaking about a subject they don't know or understand. You are talking OVER their head. When it happens, the person starts to feel inferior or incompetent and they shut down.

YDU is the state where the person begins to get angry because YOU don't know or understand their situation. You are talking PAST them. When it happens, the person starts to feel angry or contempt for you — they begin to interrupt or sit and stew with anger.

IDU is on one end of the spectrum and YDU is on the other end. Your job is to remain in the middle with your communication, giving them info while ensuring you don't venture in IDU or YDU territory.

And the way to ensure this doesn't happen is to:

1. Watch for physical signals. They might start looking away or looking angry or impatient. They might not respond immediately or come back with a response that sounds frustrated or angry. On the phone, listen for typing or clicking — they are not listening, they are multi-tasking.
2. Ask questions along the way. Like: "Are you with me so far?" or "Am I speaking too quickly?" or " Do you want me to review any aspect of what I just covered?" or "Do you know this already?" This gives the receiver a chance to better understand the information and will quickly take you out of the IDU/YDU area.
3. Paraphrase their response. When they do respond, paraphrase what you just heard. This will quickly take you out of the YDU end of the spectrum.

Communication is so critical for your success — make sure it is TWO-WAY!

How The Boomers Screwed Up OR We Can All Do Better.

I've been struggling with this generational paradox for the past 5-10 years and have asked a ton of people what they think about it. This theory comes closest to what I feel happened, is happening, and probably will happen. Enjoy! Here's my basic understanding of what went down (this is a long one — so stay with me — it's really important):

The generation that birthed the Baby Boomers suffered like hell. Depression, World War II; they shouldered everything.

So when the US was growing more successful following WWII, they didn't want their children to suffer. And their kids loved this. They lived in relative safety, had a clear boogeyman to fear in the USSR and ideology to love in the US of A. They got opportunities, whether to get jobs straight out of high school, or go to college, or travel the world, or whatever. Not everyone got this, of course, since we still did have poor souls shipped out to Vietnam.

They got awesome music, got to experiment with drugs, and then got jobs alongside their hardworking, nose-to-the-grindstone parents of the "Greatest Generation". And as those parents retired and died, we were left with a overwhelming number of coddled, spoiled children running the show.

And the problem with that is that they haven't grown up. They didn't understand the hardships that drove their parents' decisions. So they made decisions that didn't aim to avoid those hardships, which has saddled us with debt, terrible regulations of tons of industries, and a number of unwanted and unwinnable wars (Iraq, Afghanistan, Drugs), which has led to Gen Xers and Millenials getting the short end of the stick, and being generally bitter about it.

Even a cursory glance at what we call the generations even gives some insight into the Boomers' thoughts toward their children compared to their parents. "Greatest Generation" vs. "Generation X". Past vs. future, and the future gets humped.

Now, that's not to say that every Boomer is like that. Plenty aren't. It's also not to say that this is a 100% correct reading of the situation, but it does seem to reflect what history has shown (so far) the Greatest Generation, Boomers, and Gen Xers to do.

I'm a firm believer in Strauss-Howe generational theory. We've repeated the same cycle of generational 'types' and social climes since the 1700's. Baby boomers are 'idealistic moralists' in favor of wars they themselves don't fight in, and they incite others to make sacrifices. The crisis they are driving us into will have to be dealt with by the scruffy, pragmatic Gen-Xers.

Here's the gist of the theory (from Wikipedia):

To date, Strauss and Howe have identified 25 generations in Anglo-American history, each with a corresponding archetype. The authors describe the archetypes as follows:

Prophet

Born in 1809 and coming of age during the Transcendental Awakening, Abraham Lincoln is identified as a member of a Prophet generation - the Transcendentals.

Prophet generations (dominant) are born after a Crisis, during a time of rejuvenated community life and consensus around a new societal order. Prophets grow up as the increasingly indulged children of this post-Crisis era, come of age as self-absorbed young crusaders of an Awakening, focus on morals and principles in midlife, and emerge as elders guiding another Crisis.

Due to this location in history, such generations tend to be remembered for their coming-of-age fervor and their values-oriented elder leadership. Their main societal contributions are in the area ofvision, values, and religion. Their best-known historical leaders include John Winthrop, William Berkeley, Samuel Adams, Benjamin Franklin, James Polk, Abraham Lincoln, Herbert Hoover, and Franklin Roosevelt. These were principled moralists who waged idealistic wars and incited others to sacrifice. Few of them fought themselves in decisive wars, and they are remembered more for their inspiring words than for great actions. (Examples among today’s living generations: Boomers.)

Nomad

Nomad generations (recessive) are born during an Awakening, a time of social ideals and spiritual agendas, when young adults are passionately attacking the established institutional order. Nomads grow up as under-protected children during this Awakening, come of age as alienated, post-Awakening adults, become pragmatic midlife leaders during a Crisis, and age into resilient post-Crisis elders.

Due to this location in history, such generations tend to be remembered for their adrift, alienated rising-adult years and their midlife years of pragmatic leadership. Their main societal contributions are in the area of liberty, survival and honor. Their best-known historical leaders include Nathaniel Bacon, William Stoughton, George Washington, John Adams, Ulysses Grant, Grover Cleveland, Harry Truman, and Dwight Eisenhower. These were shrewd realists who preferred individualistic, pragmatic solutions to problems. (Examples among today’s living generations: Generation X.)

Hero

Young adults fighting in World War II were born in the early part of the 20th century, like PT109 commander LTJG John F. Kennedy (b. 1917). They are part of the G.I. Generation, which follows the Hero archetype.

Hero generations (dominant) are born after an Awakening, during a time of individual pragmatism, self-reliance, and laissez faire. Heroes grow up as increasingly protected post-Awakening children, come of age as team-oriented young optimists during a Crisis, emerge as energetic, overly-confident midlifers, and age into politically powerful elders attacked by another Awakening. 

Due to this location in history, such generations tend to be remembered for their collective military triumphs in young adulthood and their political achievements as elders. Their main societal contributions are in the area of community, affluence, and technology. Their best-known historical leaders include Cotton Mather, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan. These have been vigorous and rational institution builders. In midlife, all have been aggressive advocates of economic prosperity and public optimism, and all have maintained a reputation for civic energy and competence in old age. (Examples among today’s living generations: Millennials.)

Artist

Artist generations (recessive) are born during a Crisis, a time when great dangers cut down social and political complexity in favor of public consensus, aggressive institutions, and an ethic of personal sacrifice. Artists grow up overprotected by adults preoccupied with the Crisis, come of age as the socialized and conformist young adults of a post-Crisis world, break out as process-oriented midlife leaders during an Awakening, and age into thoughtful post-Awakening elders.

Due to this location in history, such generations tend to be remembered for their quiet years of rising adulthood and their midlife years of flexible, consensus-building leadership. Their main societal contributions are in the area of expertise and due process. Their best-known historical leaders include William Shirley, Cadwallader Colden, John Quincy Adams,Andrew Jackson, Theodore Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson. These have been complex social technicians and advocates for fairness and inclusion. (Examples among today’s living generations: Silent and Homelanders.)

One reason why the cycle of archetypes recurs is that each youth generation tries to correct or compensate for what it perceives as the excesses of the midlife generation in power. For example, Boomers (a Prophet generation, whose strength is individualism, culture and values) raised Millennial children (a Hero generation, whose strength is in collective civic action). Archetypes do not create archetypes like themselves, they create opposing archetypes.

As Strauss and Howe explain, “your generation isn’t like the generation that shaped you, but it has much in common with the generation that shaped the generation that shaped you.” This also occurs because the societal role that feels freshest to each generation of youth is the role being vacated by a generation of elders that is passing away. In other words, a youth generation comes of age and defines its collective persona just as an opposing generational archetype is in its midlife peak of power, and the previous generation of their archetype is passing away.

By the way — I'm a boomer (a late boomer - born in 1962), but still a boomer.

P.S. I'm expecting a lot of hate mail on this one — but I encourage two-way communication — that's what this blog is about!

This One Phrase Will Transform Your Business.

This weekend, I was hiking with my family in a state park — lots of trees, streams, and ticks. We all had a great time and the summer heat wasn't too oppressive. While we were exiting the forest, we were speaking about the economy and business, and my brother Jeff mentioned a quote I've never heard:

"Shame on you for not charging enough to stay in business."

It hit me like a thunderbolt. How many businesses do we encounter that bemoan the fact they aren't making enough money to survive?

Here's a little financial equation I use to understand the financials of your business and career.

1. How much money do you want to make this year? Let's say $125,000 to make the math easy.
2. Divide it by 50 weeks (you get 2 weeks off for vacation) = $2500 each week.
3. Divide it by 5 days a week = $500 each day.
4. Divide it by 8 hours = $62.50 per hour. But you have to have 40 solid hours of billing. If not, you need to increase this figure — even double it.

That's your hourly rate you need to make to pull in $125K a year. It doesn't take into account overhead, materials, help, etc. But it gives you a generalized idea of how much you are WORTH.

Then I have my clients build their business model the other way:

1. How much can you charge each client on an hourly basis? Let's say $100 an hour.
2. How many billable hours a day do you have? Let's say 5 = $500 per day.
3. How many billable days per week? Let's say 4 = $2000 per week.
4. 50 weeks per year = $100,000. A $25K shortfall.

This is important — usually the salary and hourly rate don't add up. I usually have to tell them to charge their clients MORE MONEY. Or figure out a way to deliver additional services to their clients so they make more money. Can you upsell? Can you sell them more stuff?

In any case — you need to charge enough to stay in business.

What are you charging? Do you need to charge MORE?

Top 3 Mistakes Made In Family Businesses.

I run Multi-Generational Peer Review Groups — and boy do we have fun discussing many issues inherent with family businesses — especially ones where the younger sons/daughters work for the older parents. And the parents have one foot out the door into retirement, yet they feel they need to keep active and still make decisions. Or they are still working 60-70 hours a week and never delegate key responsibilities to their sons/daughters (I'm going to use the term 'kids' for brevity). Here are some mistakes (and possible solutions) I see frequently:

1. Bad Communication.

Number one mistake made in multi-gen businesses. The parent is un-moveable, disruptive, or sticking to their guns and the kids give up on any sort of constructive communication.

Solution: "You're not going to teach an old dog new tricks." It's the kids job to stay patient (and professional) and encourage healthy communication first. Try to bridge the gap and work with your parent and if needed, wear your heart on your sleeve when speaking with them. It's also the job of the parent to also open their heart and mind to their kids' overtures.

2. Loss of Self-Esteem.

If the kids are constantly reprimanded or berated when they do something wrong by the parent,  not only do they shut down and get resentful, they begin to lose faith in their abilities.

Solution: The parent needs to understand that there is a difference between motivational instruction and berating mistakes. They need to acknowledge that you will make mistakes along the way and they are their not only to catch you, but to encourage you to succeed. The kids need to understand that what took their parents 30-40 years to perfect cannot be learned in 2-3 years. In addition, your parents might not be the best teachers, so you sometimes need to pull information, techniques, and practices out of them for you to grow. It will take time.

3. Allocation of Responsibilities.

As the parent slowly relinquishes certain responsibilities to their kids (hopefully!), how the kids perform their new duties might be different than what the parent expects. So the parent begins to hold back the allocation and then adverse situations result. This especially happens when the kids try a new direction for an old problem (i.e., growing their web presence and killing all phone book advertising) and the parent doesn't understand.

Solution: The parent needs to understand that the kids SHOULD be encouraged to do things differently or at least understand WHY their kids are taking a different tack to solve a problem. The kids need to move slowly and continuously bring their parents up to speed on the whys, whats, and hows of their strategy. You just cannot say 'trust me' - it will only inflame the situation.

Bottom line, they are not going anywhere anytime soon — so assess the problem, come up with solutions, and take action. Making believe that it will go away on its own is dangerous.

If you have any questions or issues with a multi-generational business, feel free to call me (203.500.2421) - would love to discuss and help you find a solution.

New Job Success Or Failure: Your First Day.

Here are some quick tips I give all of my clients prior to their first day on the job:

Prepare

This is a critical task for you and sets up every other thing you do for your first day. You need to get this done 24 hours prior to your first day.

• Get all of your paperwork together. Everything that needs to be signed, your license, passport, etc.
• Pick your clothes and make sure they look great. You will feel better if they are all laid out and ready to go.
• Polish (men) and touch up (ladies) your shoes - they need to look great.
• Make your lunch the day before.
• Set the timer on your coffeemaker so you wake up to hot coffee.

Meditate

Yes, meditate. When you get up or after your shower, sit on your bed, close your eyes, and relax. Say to yourself:

• I will do great. I have years of experience ready to burst out of me.
• They love me - they picked me over every other applicant.
• I won't screw up - I will ask questions when I am unsure.

Day One is always the hardest day - it is built up with anxiety and fear - meditation will help you get centered. Take 1-2 minutes for yourself.

Leave Early

If your commute is 30 minutes, leave 1 hour early. This is a new route, with new traffic patterns and unknown hazards. Give yourself ample commuting time to get there with enough buffer to ensure you are stress-free and ready to go. If you get there early, that's fine.

Arrive Early/Stay Late

It sends the right message to your superiors, peers and team. It shows you are a 'hard' worker and sets the stage for building your reputation at your organization.

Smile, Smile, Smile

First impressions are made within the first 10 seconds. You are going to meet a lot of people - you don't have to remember their name - but smile and be engaging. It will give them a good sample of who you really are and get you off on the right foot.

Ask Questions

You are not inexperienced, you just need to measure how you will do things, where things are, and what to do with them. If you don't ask questions, you will probably stall and not work as efficiently as you usually would. Get through those obstacles and make things happen!

Try To Eat With Your Boss or Peers

It gives you another chance to quiz them on the more intangible areas of your position/organization. In any event, try to have lunch with all of the people you will touch at your job.

Go Home & Relax

It's been a crazy day. Come home, get into comfy clothes, and lay down on your bed. Embrace the feeling and memories of your new job — review the day with your spouse or partner.  This debrief is not only important, it's critical. It allows you to download your thoughts, experiences and emotions.

Go To Bed Early

It's been a tough day — go to bed one hour early to be fresh for the next day!

Work Smarter, Not Harder.

I really didn't mean that. To be honest, to be successful, one needs certain things to happen:

1. You have to hustle. Move faster than your competition and get things done. Take action.
2. You have to be smart. Not only intelligence, but knowledge and street smarts.
3. You have to be lucky. Sometimes it comes from nowhere, but most of the time it presents itself from opportunities you developed.

But there are times when you need to be nimble, agile, and frankly, work smarter. How? Here goes:

Think of all the things you do during the day. The email, the meetings, the people, the stop-bys, the phone calls, the traveling, the commute . . . everything.

Now I want you to take each element and figure out how you can STREAMLINE it. Make it take less time but deliver the same (or increased) result. Let's try each one:

• Email - do you have to read EVERY email? Develop a system to read the important messages and toss the rest.
• Meetings - do you have to go to EVERY meeting? Eliminate one meeting per week - you don't really need to be there.
• People - who are the most important people to your career? Who wastes your time? Start spending more time with the important people.
• Stop-bys - it's nice to have an open-door policy but you have to have time for yourself. Close your door at certain times to get working.
• Phone calls - all calls should be five minutes or less. If it is more complex, you need to meet.
• Traveling - do you really need to go there? Can you video conference in? A conference call?
• Commute - sitting in the car for an hour a day is tiring. Can you listen to motivational CD's? Can you telecommute?

Think outside of the box — you want to work smarter — get the work done in less time without killing yourself.

Over the next few weeks, I will be focusing in on each of these areas - STAY TUNED!

Image provided by H Sterling Cross at Flickr.