I Went To A Funeral Yesterday.

I published this article back in 2012, but it still has meaning today, especially during this holiday season - Rich

When was the last time you had a powerful experience? Yesterday, my sister-in-law's mom passed away - I knew her as Ditty, she was 97, and she lived a full life. She was a wonderful lady, and I was lucky to know her.

Many things happened to me during the church service, especially at the grave site and at the restaurant get-together afterward.

The Service

We all go to funerals. They are things we have to do for family members and friends. We endure them and then move on. Not this funeral.

As a deacon at my own church, I was overwhelmed by the powerful homily and eulogy. First of all, I rarely get to experience a service in a Catholic church — it was very moving. Father Richard Futie (Ditty's cousin) guided everyone through a myriad of emotions — praise, remembrance, sorrow, humor, and most of all, love.

His role was the hardest of all — to help each of us handle our grief and help us move on in life. In my opinion, it's one of the hardest 'speaking' jobs anyone could ever tackle.

The Eulogy was given by a family friend and a fellow coach (which I surprisingly found out later!) — Danny Martin. He brought singing, stories, love, and remembrance to the part of the service. He made us remember that Ditty experienced all the events of the 20th and 21st centuries — from World War I to the iPad. It was wonderful.

In addition, Father Futie began the wake (the previous night before) by explaining what a wake really is and where the name 'wake' is derived. I originally thought it would be a 'yawner' — but Father Futie caught my attention, made me sit up, and relive this wonderful woman's life.

The Grave Site

I've gone through the death of both parents, and I can tell you the grave site is the hardest of all for everyone. It's the final goodbye. I held it together through the wake and funeral service, but when I had to say goodbye to each of my parents, I was a wreck.

Father Futie again made the entire service a deeply religious experience, yet he also ensured that it was short and focused. Everyone was moved, and it was a fitting experience to all place flowers on the casket.

The Get-Together

At the restaurant afterward, family and friends all ate great food and spoke lovingly about Ditty. Danny again regaled us with his entire song, and family and friends stood up to speak about how Ditty impacted each of their lives. We laughed, we sang, and we all healed one another.

When you run into unexpected experiences which change your life — grab and hold onto them tightly. They are experiences that change you for the better and make you stronger.

It's All About GRACE.

I was sitting in church last night during our Maundy Thursday service and as I was reading along in the cantata, one word kept popping up. GRACE.

And I realized, we all can do with a little more GRACE in our lives in how we treat other people. Honestly, when was the last time you used the word GRACE in conversation?

As you know, this is a business and career blog — so how do I incorporate GRACE into that?

The definition of GRACE is:

As a noun — simple elegance or refinement of movement or conversation.

As a verb — to do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one's presence.

So here goes:

1. When dealing with a direct report, add a bit more grace to the conversation. Show them a bit more refinement in your words. Even if they've done something wrong, try to credit them in some way.
2. At a meeting, comport yourself with a little more grace than usual. Listen to what other people say without barging in and giving them your perspective.
3. Be grateful you have a business or career and let others know it. Tell your boss or clients how much they mean to you. Honor them.
4. When meeting someone for the first time, show them how refined you really are. Don't be pushy, brazen, or assertive — simple elegance will take you far.
5. It does matter for any gender: If you're a woman, elegance and refinement come easily to you — use them frequently. People will be impressed and call you a 'sharp' executive. If you're a man, spend a bit more time giving credit or honor to people — they will start calling you a 'true' gentleman.

TAKE ACTION: Over the next week (or two), take a Post-It note and write GRACE on it. Whenever you have an opportunity to interact with another person, add a bit more of YOUR GRACE to the conversation.

You might not only surprise yourself — others will be surprisingly impressed.

I'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS ON MY MESSAGE TODAY. SEND ME YOUR MESSAGE BELOW!

Get Ahead & Have Fun At The Same Time.

I coached a client this morning and got them focused and targeted. I thought I'd share it with you: I call it ENERGETIC ENTHUSIASM.

Let's say you have a strict deadline to deliver — 30 days to complete your task. So you have to get off your butt and get it done.

FACT: Dig deep into your well and pull out the energy to get things done quickly. But you also have to couple it with a deep sense of true enthusiasm to ensure you don't run out of steam halfway through.

The bad news: It's hard to start.

It's like a lawn mower in the back of your shed — you need to use it, but you haven't pulled the cord for years. It might take 5-10 minutes of pulling, sweating, and swearing — but when it's complete — it's running and you are off cutting grass.

The good news: It's easy to maintain. Once you start the enthusiasm engine, the energy just flows from all of your pores. Ideas flow, people are caught up in the maelstrom, and you just keep going, going, going.

The only caveat: Stay away from energy vampires. They are (in no real order):

• Gossipy colleagues and friends
• The piles of paper, to-do's, and mess in your office (you need this guy)
• Family members who complain
• The news, media or any resource that thrives on bad news
• Surfing - set a specific time to surf and then get off the web

Energy vampires will sap your energy in no time flat. Keep the enthusiasm cycle moving & keep your energy up. Here are some energy service stations:

• Exercise - do anything, go for a walk, workout, anything - get a personal trainer.
• Music - get your favorite jazzy tunes and listen - iTunes
• Motivational speakers - Zig Ziglar, Anthony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk
• Dance/Sing - move your body and your voice, do Zumba!
• Meet energizing people - say hello to everyone and wish them a great day, go here.
• Spiritual - Go to church/temple/mosque/meetinghouse - commune with God
• Meditate - If you don't know how - check John Mercede out
• Brainstorm with your team or boss - go offsite and think outside of the box

Don't just get a little energy — couple it with enthusiasm. Don't just get a little enthusiasm — bind it with energy.

You won't know what hit you, your career and your life.

What do you do to develop your Energetic Enthusiasm?

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. How did you like this article? Let me know. Are you interested in what I can do for you? Let’s talk. I work with people from all over the world who need to fill up their energy service stations — call me to schedule a complimentary session.