Stand Out From The Crowd With The Right Communication Skills.

I've invited Erin Ardleigh, President of Dynama Insurance and one of the best professionals I know, to give you a few tips on successful communication in business: I say “insurance salesperson”… You think, let me guess, “pushy”, “slick”, “fast talker”. Maybe you think of the stereotypical, unrelenting salesperson, such as Ned Ryerson, the schoolmate turned insurance salesman intent on selling life insurance to poor Phil, Bill Murray’s character in the film, Groundhog Day.

Well, I have to admit, I’m an insurance salesperson. As the founder and president of an insurance brokerage, I have to contend with the negative stereotypes that many people have about my industry. In my uphill battle to distinguish myself and earn my clients’ trust, I’ve found that communicating clearly and effectively is crucial to my success. I’ve worked with Jayne Latz of Corporate Speech Solutions to improve my elevator pitch, public speaking, and overall communication skills. Here are the tools that have helped me the most:

1. Listen, REALLY Listen. This sounds simple and obvious, but so few people truly do it. I try to start a meeting by asking a few questions, listening to the other person and learning what is important to them.  I love to hear my clients’ life stories – how they built their businesses and what their kids are up to – and they love to talk about their passions. Listening helps build a relationship, and lets people know I’m not there just to push a product at them.

2. Speak Clearly And Slowly. In my industry, there are a lot of product names, technical terms and acronyms. It’s easy to confuse a client with all of the ‘lingo’. My team never uses acronyms, even if we think the abbreviation is obvious, because we want to be certain that our client understands us. For example, long term care insurance is never just “LTC”. We speak slowly when using technical terms and give our clients time to write notes, if they like.

I’ve traveled extensively, and it’s made me realize just how quickly New Yorkers speak! When I’m talking with someone that speaks English as a second language, I am mindful of the speed of my speech and the enunciation of my words. I’ve adopted the same approach with clients, since insurance really does seem like a foreign language to many people!

When addressing a room, Jayne taught me to always take a slow, deep breath first, to smile, and to pause and count to three after saying my name and before saying my company name. I want my audience to hear my name and company name clearly so they can follow up with me!

3. Be Aware Of Your Body Language. If you’re focusing only on your speech, you’re missing a big part of effective communication. Most of us have distracting habits that we are not aware of: some people put their hands in their pockets, or nervously click a pen, others sway while standing and speaking. Having Jayne film me while I gave my elevator speech was an eye opener. I have the habit of using my hands a lot while I am speaking. Jayne helped me to use gestures to accentuate my message rather than distract from it. I make sure that my message is consistent, through both verbal and non verbal communication.

In business, we all need to communicate effectively, which takes training and practice. I think every business owner would benefit from communications coaching. (Having an amazing executive coach like Rich Gee doesn’t hurt either!) I, for one, am committed to continually improving my verbal and non verbal communication skills.

Now, if only I could bump into Bill Murray!

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Erin Ardleigh is the President of Dynama Insurance, an independent insurance brokerage that emphasizes transparency and education as part of the insurance planning process.  Dynama Insurance offers life, health, disability and long term care insurance as well as complimentary reviews of existing policies.  www.dynamainsurance.com

Jayne Latz of Corporate Speech Solutions is an expert in communication skills. For over 25 years she has worked as a speech-language pathologist, professional speech trainer and coach and has co-authored two books titled, Talking Business: A Guide to Professional Communication and Talking Business: When English is Your Second Language.  www.corporatespeechsolutions.com

5 Easy Ways To Give Great Customer Service.

I ordered new running shoes from Zappos the other day. If you've ever ordered from Zappos — you'll know they sometimes don't have the best prices. But they do deliver the best customer service.

When I say "CUSTOMER SERVICE", it isn't specific to business owners. If you work in corporate, CUSTOMER SERVICE is critical — you have CUSTOMERS above you, along side you, and below you. When you work at an organization, it's formal Human Resources name is "interpersonal communication".

To survive, you need to keep your customers engaged, happy, and wanting more of your products and services. So without further ado — here they are:

1. Deliver WOW during the whole process.

From the initial screens, to the multiple angles, to the highly-descriptive videos Zappos makes you feel right at home choosing your merchandise. Everything is clear, and open and they really don't try to hard-sell you. In addition, they promote their core values at the bottom of every page to let the customer know what philosophies are guiding every business interaction.

When I say WOW, I want you to look at everything you do for your boss, customer, or client. At every juncture, how can you do a little bit better? How can you elevate every touchpoint and anticipate their needs? How can you reach out and make every interaction more streamlined and pleasurable?

2. Make the customer feel special by personalizing the process.

Zappos remembers ALL of your purchases. A year after I bought a pair of Merrell Jungle Mocs, I received an email to let me know it's been a year and if I'd like to buy another pair. Although my pair is in good shape and I didn't need another pair just yet — the thought of receiving a card is impressive.

When was the last time you reached out to your current client base to remind them of a service or product? How about a new service or product? How about a simple card appreciating their business? You can do almost anything and make the customer feel special.

3. Be responsive. 4. If something goes wrong, ask questions and listen. 5. If you screwed up, give them a token of appreciation.

I had a slight snafu with one of my orders — I ordered it on the regular Zappos site and not the VIP site (we order a lot of shoes). The end result — shoes I thought were arriving that day were delayed by a few days. On the phone, the Zappos representative was helpful and was able to expedite the shipment. In addition, they sent me an email with a $25 credit to apply to my next purchase. WOW.

If something goes wrong — fix it immediately. Don't wait for it to 'go away'.

First, you need to be instantly accessible to allow your clients to access you. All of my clients have a direct line to me — so they can either call or email me. If it's an emergency, I get back the them ASAP. If it's just a question, 24 hours is fine. But I am there — they don't sit in my inbox for weeks or are relegated to my voicemail for eternity. I get back to them. And they can access me instantly.

Second, if there is something wrong, ask questions and then LISTEN. Most people try to fix the problem without listening to the entire story. Your customer first and foremost want you to empathize with their situation. So your job is to ask questions for clarification and listen to them until they run out of steam. Then empathize with them — "I'm so sorry to hear that happened." or "Let's see what we can do to solve your problem."

Finally, if YOU screwed up — apologize and give them a token of appreciation. A discount, a gift, flowers, take them out to lunch, whatever. A small token of acknowledgement and a gift will not only go the distance, they will be your customer forever.

No Listening — No Communication!

We spend so much time honing our communications skills — how to have critical conversations, how to negotiate, how to stay calm during tough discussions, etc. But we never bring up THE most important part of communication — LISTENING to the other person.

Communication is a two-way street. I say something and then it's my turn to shut-up and LISTEN to the other person's response. Unfortunately, when that happens, we are usually NOT listening and thinking up a quick response. We are not truly looking them in the eye and absorbing everything they are communicating to us. So today, here are some simple listening strategies you can put into action immediately:

It's not just understanding their words.

You need to decipher how the speaker feels about what they are communicating. Are they irritated, happy, surprised, worried, sad, or angry? Your first impression of their mental state will allow you to set up your response back to them in a calm, cool, and informed manner.

Focus.

Focus fully on the speaker — their body language and other non-verbal cues will tell you volumes of information while you speak and listen back and forth.

Don't interrupt.

Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns. In fact — shut-up until the other person runs out of gas and stops talking.

Don't judge.

Avoid seeming judgmental. You don't have to agree with them — fully listen and totally understand their position before you respond.

Use follow-up questions.

Show you care — ask follow up questions to their statements and let them respond.

Paraphrase.

Respond with: "So what your saying . . . " or "What I'm hearing . . ." or "I think I understand what you're pointing out . . .". Get them to nod YES before you move on.

Push them to keep talking.

Use phrases like: "Tell me more . . ." or "Keep going . . ." — they allow the speaker to feel what they are saying is valuable and that you really care.

You need to be an effective listener.

Make the speaker feel heard and understood while creating an environment where everyone feels safe to express their ideas.

When you show an open and encompassing demeanor while their speaking, they immediately feel they are important to you and you truly care about what they have to say.

They just want to be heard and understood. That's all.

How To Deliver GREAT Customer Service.

I use shaving soap. Not shaving cream from a can. That's for kids. I'm a serious shaver — I use a shaving brush (Burma-Shave, antique), with a Merkur Model 180 razor, shaving cup with shaving soap.

I thought I would try a different company for my shaving soap. Since I like the smell of Bay Rum in the morning, I checked out Ogallala Bay Rum Company out of Nebraska.

I ordered their sampler for $6.25 which included six different shaving soaps — all made with bay rum, they included — Plain Bay Rum, Sandalwood, Sage & Cedar, Limes & Peppercorns, Lemon Grass, and Sweet Orange.

Now their site isn't great — but it gets the job done. Immediately after my order, I received the customary email letting me know that my order has been processed and it's on it's way to me. The next day, I received another email including these lines:

"If we have the pleasure of serving you again in the future, please remind us that you are a returning customer….and you’ll get a little something extra with your shipment! (Actually you will this time as well!)We not only have good old-fashioned products…but good old fashioned service and customer appreciation!" (Additional products for free on my first order!)

"On another note, it is very much appreciated when someone lets us know how they discovered Ogallala Bay Rum. Was it a search for a specific product on EBay or Google… or some other search engine or web site referral? And if so, what product were you searching for? Such information will help us in our marketing efforts and help keep costs down for our customers. Any information you can provide by replying to this email is greatly appreciated!" (It doesn't hurt to ask — and it probably saves them a lot of money and frustration understanding where their customers are coming from).

"We have special sales on our products through our store on occasion and like to let our customers know as soon as they are posted so they can be among the first to get a shot at some great bargains. Please send a blank email to the address below and you will be added to the list to get a "heads up" when such listings are posted.: (A polite way to ask for your email and retain you as a client).

I received the package within a few days (normal) and opened it up. What did I receive?

• The six soaps. Not only were they bigger than expected, they were individually wrapped to keep them dry and fresh. Most soaps aren't wrapped. Remember, these are samples.
• A free bottle of their Bay Rum Air Freshener. Not only did it smell great, it's made of two ingredients - Bay Rum and Water.
• An up-sell postcard — alerting me of their Cream Can Supper products. Not only did it have a specific web address, it had a QR code which I used to learn all about it. (sounds yummy!)
• A small thank-you card hand-signed — thanking me from a person named John. He said he "appreciated my business".

How do you think I feel about Ogallala NOW? 

• I will tell everyone I know about their products and customer service (this post is an example).
• I will buy from them again (guaranteed).
• I will have a good feeling about their company.

Don't you want people reacting like me about YOUR brand? Sit down today and think about how you interact with your prospects and clients:

• Do you communicate frequently to keep them abreast of what's going on, what is happening, and when everything will be delivered and complete? OVER-COMMUNICATE.
• Do you give away free stuff or more service than what the customer expected? START TODAY.
• Do you communicate related offers and products? GET GOING ON THIS.
• Do you send/give them a personalized and handwritten thank you note when the transaction/service is complete? IT'S EASY AND SIMPLE - DO IT.

Maybe you should try.

P.S. By the way, if you felt I was directing this only to entrepreneurs or company owners, you're mistaken. Every corporate worker should also take note — when I say 'customer service', replace it with boss, peers, or team. It still works.

YOUR COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED — LEAVE THEM BELOW — Rich

How To Become Unfireable – Part Six: It's Who You Know.

Here’s the cold, hard truth:  

You not only have to have a lot of friends, you need get out there and meet new people, Period. End of story.

If you don’t want to do that — you will be expendable.

But most people don’t like to ‘network’. Well then . . . don’t. Connect.

In my opinion, the clear difference between Networking and Connecting is:

Networking: What can you do for me?
Connecting: What can I do for you?

It's my definition, my differentiation, and here's why I don't like networking:

• It's all me, me, me.
• It's the clammy science of collecting business cards ad infinitum, of cold-calling strangers to grill them about possible openings or beg them for a favor.
• When most people don't like networking, it's because of the slimy nature of glad-handing strangers and constantly asking for something.
• It's impersonal, it takes the average executive or entrepreneur way out of their comfort zone.
• I know when I meet someone and they network with me — I immediately see through their facade and want to get out of there ASAP.
• To the best of my knowledge, no one likes to be 'networked' to.
• Networking is awkward, it's artificial, and more often than not, it doesn't work that well.

Connecting is different.

• It's noticing people, schmoozing with them, keeping in touch with them — and benefiting from them. You connect with people in a mutually productive and pleasurable way.
• You concentrate on the other person. Try to ask questions, minimize your blabbering, and listen to their answers.
• You build a solid relationship and try to connect with them on many levels.
• Instead of selling, you're seeding. You plant the seed of your capabilities, service, or product but you don't overtly go for the kill.
• You build the relationship to do something for them. To help them professionally or personally. It might be an article they are interested in, a piece of information, or even an introduction to someone you know.
• In the end, the relationship supersedes the sale. Every time.

So how do you connect? Here are the steps:

1. Be inquisitive. Ask a lot of questions and follow up questions. See below for the process.
2. If they ask about you, answer their questions, but don't go on. You need to focus on them.
3. Try to find a way to connect with them — find a common place to share — maybe a location, a school, a business, a friend, something.
4. Ask follow up questions, "You live in Stamford? What part? High Ridge Road? I grew up near Rippowam High School!".
5. Once you make the 'connection', you begin to build a rapport of trust between you and the person your connecting with.
6. Each subsequent question, follow-up question, and connection will build a stronger friendship bond between you.
7. When concluding the conversation or meeting, try to ensure you have some sort of deliverable or to-do for the person. It might be an article, a web site, an acquaintance you might know — to give to them at a later date. Do something for them – Givers Gain.
8. Ensure you do what you say you're going to do.

What is the process to connect? Read this story:

"You are in front of a big, white home. You look down and see the mailbox, you look up and see your whole family waving to you, leaning out the top windows of the house. You look over and see a beautifully, ornate chimney with a huge, yellow, leather work glove sitting upon it with all five finger pointing in the air. The glove is holding an old, wooden tennis racket and a bi-plane (like the one Snoopy flies) breaks through the strings of the racket, flys around your high school, comes to a soft landing on your football field and touches the goal post."

This story is a mnemonic. It teaches you how to connect with someone by encapsulating key questions within an inane, weird story you'll remember. Let me break it down:

• Mailbox - Hi, my name is Rich Gee. What's your name? Where do you live? What part of Wilton?
• Family waving to you - Are you married? Do you have kids? (if they say no, don't feel uncomfortable, just say, "Boy are you lucky!"
• Huge leather work glove - What do you do? Where do you work? What is it like to work there?
• Wooden tennis racket - What do you do for fun? What are your interests?
• Bi-plane - Do you travel for business? Did you go on vacation this summer?
• High school - Where did you go to school?
• Football field - What sports are you into?
• Goal post - What goals are you shooting for this year?

All I ask is that you try it. I used to do it all the time waiting for my daily train to work. Standing next to someone, I would say something witty ("Seems like the train gets later every day as it gets colder."), get them to smile, and then introduce myself. The hint with each question is to be enthusiastic and use many follow up questions. Be inquisitive and have fun!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. If you're having problems connecting with people, let's talk. This is one of the main areas I tackle first with all of my business clients. If you’re not a client . . . grab your spot now before all the spots for October are taken. Time is getting short.

Why Networking Is Dead — Part One.

Look, everybody does it. It's the hard and fast rule of business — to succeed in the marketplace, you need to get out there and shake some hands. Motivate the masses. Network with the crowds. Well, I say that's wrong.

Networking is a very impersonal, awkward, and most of the time, unsuccessful process professionals go through to meet someone and get something from the person they meet. Whenever I hear the term 'networking', I think of a slimy used-car salesman in a seersucker suit, white belt, and white shiny shoes. Yuck!

I like to CONNECT. What's the difference between connecting and networking?

Networking: Ingratiating yourself into someone's space, telling them all about you, and asking for help, an item, or service from them.

Connecting: Meeting someone (preferably with an introduction), asking questions about them, listening to their response, asking more questions, and then offering help, an item, or service TO them. While asking questions, you find a subtle (or overt) area to make a connection —where they live, what they do, where they went to school, anything. Connecting happens in the moment.

The difference? You Ask Questions, Listen, and Give Them something. Not the other way around. It's called Seeding. You plant seeds when you connect — they germinate and grow, and someday that person will be doing something for you. It's not deceptive, it's reciprocal. You do something for them, they do something for you.

What's the biggest reason why you should Connect and not Network? When you network, once the person realizes that the conversation is all about you and what they can do for you — a wall of glass goes up. The person immediately knows that you want something from them. And they endeavor to slowly extricate from the interaction. I see this happen ALL the time. It used to happen to me.

In addition, the fastest way to connect with that person is to turn the conversation towards them, learn more about them, understand their situation, their needs, and their problems/obstacles. You are then in a prime position to focus in on their needs and deliver a personalized solution.

Tomorrow, in Part Two, I will show you HOW to connect. It's easy, simple to do, and best of all, FUN.

Stupid Things People Do At The Office – You Speak & Don't Listen.

This is a fast one - so keep up with me . . . Most bosses speak more than they listen. They think they know everything. They push their views onto their staff any chance they get. And that's STUPID.

1. Shut up.
2. If you must speak, ask questions.
3. Then LISTEN.
4. Ask more questions. LISTEN.
5. Then ask your people, "What do you think you should do?"
6. That's it. They don't want to hear your stories. They don't want you to tell them what to do.
7. They want you to guide them.
8. That means that you ask questions (to get them to think about the options), LISTEN (to give them time to weigh the options verbally), and then ask them what they should do (giving them the ability to guide their own work and empowering them).

When you do this - you are actually motivating your team - allowing them to take charge of their work. This also allows you to be part of the process - to gently guide them when they might go off course or pick them up when they fall down.

So next time you have an opportunity to pontificate - Shut Up, Ask Questions, and LISTEN. You'll thank me.

Five Reasons Why Leaders Fail (& Why Failures Lead).

It's hard to be a leader in today's economy. Add that you need equal parts of courage, vision, empathy, and reality (Peter Koestenbaum's Leadership Diamond) AND get your work done, it's almost impossible. I've reduced my list of hundreds down to five — and here they are: 1. You move from confident to cocky. There is a fine line between confidence and cockyness — my definition:

Confident - fully comfortable in their skin, able to hold their own in most situations, but always willing to learn from others to better oneself. Cocky - fully comfortable in their skin, able to hold their own in most situations, knows it all - and let's everyone know that fact.

Be more humble — keep your mind open to new ideas. This leads me to my next reason:

2. You speak more than you listen. Pontification is a rampant disease of leaders. Candidly, as you move from communicating to pontification, you slowly lose the attention of the very people that you are speaking to. Communication is a two-way street — so feel free to let your people know what you are thinking and impart key information, but please fit in a bit of listening to complete the circle. It will go miles whenever you communicate with your team.

3. You care more about your performance than your team's performance. This primarily affects new managers than accomplished ones, but it does creep in sometimes when times are hard for the company. We all fall back on touting our own laurels rather than bringing up the rear with stories of the real performers of your company — your team. Try to pick one person and one action every so often and message it to the people that matter. It will pay dividends in exposure and good will from your team.

4. You manage upwards significantly more than downwards. A corollary to the previous reason — when we focus on ourselves, we tend to manage upwards to hone impressions of our performance. When we spend time doing this, we tend to forget that our job is to manage our people — which is quite easy to do:

a. Give them the information they need to do their job. b. Motivate them when required. c. Help them get rid of any obstacles.

If you spend more time on your people, everything else will fall into place. If you would like to read more on leadership, read this.

5. You care more about where you're going than where you are. Everyone becomes enamored with shiny objects — add to that a bit of executive ADD, and you tend to look elsewhere for better vistas. I'm not saying not to do this (it's always good to keep your options open), but you also need to pay attention to where you are. Too many executives come onto the scene, make a big splash, pull in a big client or coup, and then immediately get distracted and look for other shores to conquer. Slow down, enjoy the accolades and see if there are bigger beasts to manage where you are — it might pay off in the long run.

The Most Powerful Force In Business.

When you think of a great executive or someone you respect, what qualities come to mind?

Ability to get things done? Knowledge of their space? Who they know? Schmoozability at parties?

What do you think is their most powerful ability to be successful?

The ability to LISTEN.

Listening is SOOO underrated. Most people don't even know it's happening — they are so engrossed in their professional soap opera. Why is it so important?

1. It allows you to listen to what is important and what isn't important - then you can comment. Not the other way around.
2. It makes the person you talk to feel more engaged, more important, more focused.
3. In addition, you look more engaged, more important, and more focused. If you talk too much, you are a know-it-all blowhard.

Our natural inclination is to talk, interrupt, and think about what we are going to say while the other person is talking. By listening, you turn the tables on basic business conversation — you seem more thoughtful, more introspective, and more calculating (in a good way) when interacting with others.

Try it — you might find that people treat you differently and you have the ability to truly understand situations before you dive in head first.